1
00:00:03,603 --> 00:00:05,503
- Good morning.
- Morning.

2
00:00:05,505 --> 00:00:07,372
- Hm.
- Can't believe we're back.

3
00:00:07,374 --> 00:00:11,292
Same stupid timecards.
Same boring beige halls.

4
00:00:11,294 --> 00:00:13,745
Actually, I think that
cockroach in the light is new.

5
00:00:13,747 --> 00:00:15,563
Nope, Ernie's been here longer than me.

6
00:00:15,565 --> 00:00:19,083
I'm excited that things
are getting back to normal.

7
00:00:19,085 --> 00:00:21,870
No more corporate getting
all up in our business.

8
00:00:21,872 --> 00:00:24,989
Oh, you know that the district
manager's still here, right?

9
00:00:24,991 --> 00:00:28,193
Jeff? What is Jeff still doing he...

10
00:00:28,195 --> 00:00:30,821
You don't think he's trying
to find a reasonon to fire me?

11
00:00:30,842 --> 00:00:31,875
- Do you?
- No.

12
00:00:31,877 --> 00:00:33,343
Glenn, why would they fire you?

13
00:00:33,345 --> 00:00:34,527
They just hired you back.

14
00:00:34,529 --> 00:00:36,696
Because they're still mad
that I gave Cheyenne

15
00:00:36,698 --> 00:00:38,481
maternity leave.

16
00:00:38,483 --> 00:00:41,134
Maybe they think that people,
like, just walk all over me.

17
00:00:41,136 --> 00:00:43,637
Like I'm some sort of pathetic Peter.

18
00:00:43,639 --> 00:00:45,505
Oh, come on. They
don't... they don't think

19
00:00:45,507 --> 00:00:48,241
- you're... that.
- You don't know.

20
00:00:48,243 --> 00:00:51,027
I mean, these corporate guys,
they're out for blood.

21
00:00:51,029 --> 00:00:54,381
Okay? They are vicious, savage monsters.

22
00:00:54,383 --> 00:00:56,366
- Hey, everybody.
- Hi.

23
00:00:56,368 --> 00:00:59,619
Um, these are welcome back flowers.

24
00:00:59,621 --> 00:01:01,905
- Oh.
- They gave me a packet of, uh,

25
00:01:01,907 --> 00:01:04,274
plant food for it,
but I left it in the car.

26
00:01:04,276 --> 00:01:05,992
So if they die, I guess, just...

27
00:01:05,994 --> 00:01:08,461
throw them away. But, anyway...

28
00:01:08,463 --> 00:01:11,081
here.

29
00:01:11,083 --> 00:01:12,449
Cool.

30
00:01:12,451 --> 00:01:16,145
You guys have been through
a lot in the last two days.

31
00:01:16,145 --> 00:01:18,562
Your manager getting fired.
Everybody walking out.

32
00:01:18,564 --> 00:01:20,347
Not everybody walked out. I didn't.

33
00:01:20,349 --> 00:01:21,948
She did, he did, those three.

34
00:01:21,950 --> 00:01:24,134
- I've got a PDF file.
- Great. Good.

35
00:01:24,136 --> 00:01:25,452
- Thank you, as always, Dina.
- Welcome.

36
00:01:25,454 --> 00:01:27,270
But the point is, um,

37
00:01:27,272 --> 00:01:29,706
that I don't want to just go
back to the way things were.

38
00:01:29,708 --> 00:01:31,625
I wanna know what we as a company

39
00:01:31,627 --> 00:01:33,493
- can do better.
- Really?

40
00:01:33,495 --> 00:01:35,178
Great. Well, uh...

41
00:01:35,180 --> 00:01:36,413
I think we should start
with maternity leave.

42
00:01:36,415 --> 00:01:38,765
Listen up, ladies and jerks,

43
00:01:38,767 --> 00:01:43,086
because I am so not in the mood.

44
00:01:43,088 --> 00:01:45,205
- What is happening?
- No idea.

45
00:01:45,207 --> 00:01:47,324
Okay, I know corporate
suits probably think

46
00:01:47,326 --> 00:01:51,378
I'm a big, ole softy,
but as everyone here knows

47
00:01:51,380 --> 00:01:53,697
I'm a hard-ass boss.

48
00:01:53,699 --> 00:01:58,001
And I act like this every
day, not just today.

49
00:01:58,003 --> 00:01:59,669
- Okay.
- Yeah.

50
00:01:59,671 --> 00:02:02,005
What we were talking about
when you came in was I wanna...

51
00:02:02,007 --> 00:02:04,591
Everybody here better do their job

52
00:02:04,593 --> 00:02:08,295
or you're all going down.

53
00:02:08,297 --> 00:02:09,529
- Ju...
- Oh!

54
00:02:10,766 --> 00:02:12,466
- Just step out.
- Just lift your leg up.

55
00:02:12,468 --> 00:02:13,784
- I can't find...
- You got it.

56
00:02:13,786 --> 00:02:14,851
- Just hold 'em up.
- Get it off me.

57
00:02:14,853 --> 00:02:15,802
- Okay.
- Yeah, all right.

58
00:02:15,804 --> 00:02:16,820
- Get it off me.
- All right, here.

59
00:02:16,822 --> 00:02:17,988
- Yeah, yeah.
- Just...

60
00:02:17,990 --> 00:02:19,422
We'll just... yeah, this is easier.

61
00:02:19,424 --> 00:02:20,457
Oh, boy.

62
00:02:26,719 --> 00:02:28,010
It's just so nice to hear

63
00:02:28,010 --> 00:02:30,143
that you actually wanna
listen to our concerns.

64
00:02:30,146 --> 00:02:31,562
Yeah, one big thing
we've been talking about

65
00:02:31,564 --> 00:02:33,547
is the store limiting
our hours to avoid...

66
00:02:33,549 --> 00:02:34,999
Sorry, here's what I'd like to do.

67
00:02:35,001 --> 00:02:36,517
I'd just like to take a walk around.

68
00:02:36,519 --> 00:02:38,452
Observe how things work.
We'll meet later

69
00:02:38,454 --> 00:02:40,721
and discuss ways that
we can all improve.

70
00:02:40,723 --> 00:02:42,657
Oh, sorry, did you just say,

71
00:02:42,659 --> 00:02:44,675
"we can all improve"?

72
00:02:44,677 --> 00:02:46,294
'Cause none of this happened because

73
00:02:46,296 --> 00:02:48,229
we weren't doing our jobs well.

74
00:02:48,231 --> 00:02:51,182
Sure, but... everything
is a two-way street.

75
00:02:51,184 --> 00:02:52,883
Yeah, but...

76
00:02:52,885 --> 00:02:55,519
some things are just... one-way streets.

77
00:02:55,521 --> 00:02:56,871
You need both, you know?

78
00:02:56,873 --> 00:03:00,224
One-way streets are useful
in terms of traffic flow

79
00:03:00,226 --> 00:03:03,878
whereas I lost track of
the point I was trying to make.

80
00:03:03,880 --> 00:03:05,413
Yeah, so here's what I'd like to do.

81
00:03:05,415 --> 00:03:07,064
I'd like to observe how things work

82
00:03:07,066 --> 00:03:08,733
when you guys are not in the parking lot

83
00:03:08,735 --> 00:03:11,452
screaming like lunatics
and then we can go from there.

84
00:03:11,454 --> 00:03:13,237
Think we can handle that?

85
00:03:13,239 --> 00:03:15,573
- I guess we'll see.
- All right.

86
00:03:17,160 --> 00:03:19,894
I'm sorry, we're the ones
who need to change?

87
00:03:19,896 --> 00:03:21,862
How about they stop limiting our hours

88
00:03:21,864 --> 00:03:24,749
or docking our pay for bathroom breaks?

89
00:03:24,751 --> 00:03:26,784
We are not the ones
who need to improve here.

90
00:03:28,721 --> 00:03:30,571
Yeah, we're pretty perfect.

91
00:03:30,981 --> 00:03:32,881
But, look, he wants
to hear our complaints.

92
00:03:32,883 --> 00:03:35,617
Yeah, and then not do
anything about them.

93
00:03:35,619 --> 00:03:37,119
No matter what we say,
he's just gonna be like,

94
00:03:37,121 --> 00:03:39,388
"Well,
it's a two-way street, so..."

95
00:03:39,390 --> 00:03:40,922
Wow, that was spot on.

96
00:03:40,924 --> 00:03:42,557
It was like Amy just disappeared.

97
00:03:42,559 --> 00:03:44,626
Look, guys, we just need to be on top

98
00:03:44,628 --> 00:03:46,862
of our game today, you know?

99
00:03:46,864 --> 00:03:49,765
Remember that day six months ago
where nothing went wrong?

100
00:03:49,767 --> 00:03:51,500
Let's do that today.

101
00:03:51,502 --> 00:03:53,552
March 14th cannot be manufactured.

102
00:03:53,554 --> 00:03:55,404
That's what makes March 14th beautiful.

103
00:03:55,406 --> 00:03:57,522
Okay, well,
let's just be on our game, okay?

104
00:03:57,524 --> 00:03:59,691
Okay, you got it.

105
00:04:00,045 --> 00:04:01,628
Attention Cloud 9 shoppers,

106
00:04:01,630 --> 00:04:04,464
beef products from Cloud
9 Ranch are now 80% off,

107
00:04:04,466 --> 00:04:07,173
but maybe ask yourself
why we would do that.

108
00:04:08,469 --> 00:04:09,935
You mean like that?

109
00:04:09,937 --> 00:04:12,938
I'm the kind of hard-ass boss
that corporate loves.

110
00:04:12,940 --> 00:04:14,940
- Uh-huh.
- I-I don't allow any

111
00:04:14,942 --> 00:04:17,860
jiggerypokery or argle-bargle.

112
00:04:17,862 --> 00:04:19,445
- Mm-hmm.
- Glenn...

113
00:04:19,447 --> 00:04:21,514
can I go to the doctor?
I've had a sharp pain

114
00:04:21,516 --> 00:04:22,932
in my lower right for days.

115
00:04:22,934 --> 00:04:25,768
There you go. Typical argle-bargle.

116
00:04:25,770 --> 00:04:27,853
- Denied.
- Actually...

117
00:04:27,855 --> 00:04:29,054
that sounds like appendicitis.

118
00:04:29,056 --> 00:04:30,239
I think you should go to the hospital.

119
00:04:30,241 --> 00:04:32,241
Thank you.

120
00:04:34,555 --> 00:04:37,949
I want to see that appendix
on my desk tomorrow, young lady!

121
00:04:57,556 --> 00:04:59,373
Hey, can you tell me
where the bathroom is?

122
00:04:59,394 --> 00:05:02,228
It's kind of an emergency.
I exceeded your expectations?

123
00:05:02,231 --> 00:05:04,414
Thank you.

124
00:05:04,416 --> 00:05:05,749
Have a heavenly day.

125
00:05:05,751 --> 00:05:07,150
Hi!

126
00:05:07,152 --> 00:05:09,837
That guy just said
I exceeded his expectations.

127
00:05:09,839 --> 00:05:11,872
- Don't know if you heard.
- Nice work.

128
00:05:13,843 --> 00:05:16,326
- I'm Jeff, by the way.
- No, I know.

129
00:05:16,328 --> 00:05:18,428
Mateo. We met yesterday?

130
00:05:18,430 --> 00:05:20,280
I was the "loyal, hard-working employee

131
00:05:20,282 --> 00:05:22,466
with great skin"?

132
00:05:22,468 --> 00:05:24,401
Uh, so now that everything's
back to normal,

133
00:05:24,403 --> 00:05:26,537
I would love to talk to you
about my career here at Cloud 9.

134
00:05:26,539 --> 00:05:27,571
Yes, I'm so sorry to do this to you.

135
00:05:27,573 --> 00:05:29,806
I just have a bunch to cover today,

136
00:05:29,808 --> 00:05:31,575
but nice to meet you, Ma-tato.

137
00:05:33,946 --> 00:05:35,412
Ma-tato?

138
00:05:35,414 --> 00:05:36,864
Laney, make sure Tate's not trying

139
00:05:36,866 --> 00:05:38,565
to sell our customers time shares.

140
00:05:38,567 --> 00:05:40,901
Todd, keep Sal at least
100 feet away from women's wear.

141
00:05:40,903 --> 00:05:42,352
And women in general, if possible.

142
00:05:42,354 --> 00:05:44,254
Why is nobody working the deli?

143
00:05:44,256 --> 00:05:46,373
Oh, right, Dom told me that he just

144
00:05:46,375 --> 00:05:47,993
really didn't feel like coming in today

145
00:05:48,014 --> 00:05:49,864
and that I should cover
for him by telling you

146
00:05:49,866 --> 00:05:51,882
that... wait, go back.

147
00:05:51,884 --> 00:05:53,200
Let me take that again.

148
00:05:53,202 --> 00:05:55,836
Dom told me to tell you
that his pug, Elmo,

149
00:05:55,838 --> 00:05:57,438
fell into a sinkhole in the park.

150
00:05:57,440 --> 00:05:58,756
Just follow me.

151
00:05:58,758 --> 00:06:00,408
Okay, we need to keep the line moving.

152
00:06:00,410 --> 00:06:02,893
We have a lot of hungry,
angry people out there.

153
00:06:02,895 --> 00:06:04,695
Uh, you can just say "hangry" now.

154
00:06:04,697 --> 00:06:06,881
It's a new word.
My friend's cousin made it up.

155
00:06:08,267 --> 00:06:10,634
I'll take rolls,
veggies, and condiments.

156
00:06:10,636 --> 00:06:13,621
- You start slicing the meat.
- Slicing the meat.

157
00:06:13,623 --> 00:06:17,108
Oh, sweet, always wanted
to work this bad boy.

158
00:06:17,110 --> 00:06:19,777
Not totally sure how it works...

159
00:06:19,779 --> 00:06:22,330
Just, um, load the meat
and then slice the meat.

160
00:06:22,898 --> 00:06:25,131
Definitely. I'm a quick study, so...

161
00:06:25,133 --> 00:06:27,350
- Oh! I cut myself.
- Already?

162
00:06:27,352 --> 00:06:30,136
Well, maybe I should do...

163
00:06:30,137 --> 00:06:32,087
Marcus, that looks really bad.

164
00:06:32,089 --> 00:06:34,656
Just a nick. It looks worse than it is.

165
00:06:34,658 --> 00:06:35,841
Kinda stings a little.

166
00:06:38,228 --> 00:06:41,813
Marcus, is that your thumb?

167
00:06:43,951 --> 00:06:46,501
Uh... I don't know.

168
00:06:46,503 --> 00:06:48,937
You don't know?

169
00:06:48,939 --> 00:06:50,789
Why don't you check?

170
00:06:50,791 --> 00:06:52,391
- I don't wanna.
- Marcus, check!

171
00:06:52,393 --> 00:06:53,725
- I don't want to.
- To see if your thumb

172
00:06:53,727 --> 00:06:55,077
is on your hand.

173
00:07:05,439 --> 00:07:06,519
Ah.

174
00:07:06,540 --> 00:07:07,906
I need this thumb

175
00:07:07,908 --> 00:07:09,925
for work and driving. Door knobs!

176
00:07:09,927 --> 00:07:12,711
We just need to put it
in a cold, air-tight container,

177
00:07:12,713 --> 00:07:14,530
we'll get it to the hospital,
they're reattach it.

178
00:07:14,532 --> 00:07:16,715
- It's easy.
- Promise?

179
00:07:16,717 --> 00:07:18,550
Mm-hmm.

180
00:07:18,552 --> 00:07:19,785
Here. This should do it.

181
00:07:19,787 --> 00:07:21,737
Oh, come on, not the guac.
It's all slimy.

182
00:07:21,739 --> 00:07:24,073
You're not gonna feel it.

183
00:07:24,075 --> 00:07:25,924
"Yeah, I've got a whole PDF."

184
00:07:25,926 --> 00:07:27,359
Hey!

185
00:07:27,361 --> 00:07:29,445
Let's break up this loser squad
and get back to work.

186
00:07:29,447 --> 00:07:31,296
You guys don't hear anything, do you?

187
00:07:31,298 --> 00:07:32,948
Nope, I can't hear traitors.

188
00:07:33,279 --> 00:07:34,979
Oh, is that so, Peter?
Because I was just

189
00:07:34,981 --> 00:07:36,697
coming to tell you that
your wife has died.

190
00:07:36,700 --> 00:07:39,017
I just got the call.
I don't have a wife.

191
00:07:39,019 --> 00:07:40,302
Everyone knows I'm gay.

192
00:07:40,304 --> 00:07:41,720
Ha! I knew you could hear me.

193
00:07:41,722 --> 00:07:44,439
- In your gay face!
- Come on, guys.

194
00:07:46,293 --> 00:07:48,994
Hey.

195
00:07:48,996 --> 00:07:50,846
I've, uh...

196
00:07:50,848 --> 00:07:52,114
I've been there.

197
00:07:52,116 --> 00:07:54,759
Junior year of high school
I lost all the proofs

198
00:07:54,780 --> 00:07:56,663
for lit mag and we had to
stay up all night

199
00:07:56,684 --> 00:07:59,151
relaying it out. Everybody hated me.

200
00:07:59,153 --> 00:08:01,336
Especially Becca Fish...
such a Goody Two-shoes,

201
00:08:01,338 --> 00:08:04,590
but I killed them with
a little thing called kindness,

202
00:08:04,592 --> 00:08:06,959
and guess who became
the next editor-in-chief.

203
00:08:06,961 --> 00:08:08,861
Well, co-editor.

204
00:08:08,863 --> 00:08:11,380
Worst story I've ever heard.

205
00:08:11,382 --> 00:08:14,082
Look, all I'm saying is
with a little effort

206
00:08:14,084 --> 00:08:16,151
it's not that hard
to get people to like you.

207
00:08:16,153 --> 00:08:18,403
I really don't care
if people like me.

208
00:08:18,405 --> 00:08:20,205
Okay, but...

209
00:08:20,207 --> 00:08:22,441
don't you find it hard
being a boss to people...

210
00:08:22,443 --> 00:08:24,042
That resent you?

211
00:08:24,044 --> 00:08:25,811
Who's the one wearing the blue polo now?

212
00:08:29,206 --> 00:08:31,240
- You do raise a good point.
- Yeah.

213
00:08:31,261 --> 00:08:33,227
I watch a lot of "Dog Whisperer" DVDs

214
00:08:33,228 --> 00:08:34,811
and it's always easier to train a bitch

215
00:08:34,813 --> 00:08:38,515
- who enjoys your scent.
- That's exactly what I meant.

216
00:08:38,517 --> 00:08:40,767
Um... look, if you need any help...

217
00:08:40,769 --> 00:08:44,738
Pass. I can make people
like me on my own just fine.

218
00:08:44,740 --> 00:08:46,523
- Oh, hey...
- Yeah?

219
00:08:46,525 --> 00:08:48,441
- I just wanted to say...
- Mm-hmm.

220
00:08:48,443 --> 00:08:49,910
That story really is awful.

221
00:08:49,912 --> 00:08:52,112
I'd tighten it up. Add a couple jokes.

222
00:08:53,466 --> 00:08:54,949
Thank you for the feedback.

223
00:08:54,970 --> 00:08:56,453
This website says we have an hour

224
00:08:56,455 --> 00:08:58,155
to get you and the
thumb to the hospital.

225
00:08:58,158 --> 00:08:59,338
What happens after an hour?

226
00:08:59,438 --> 00:09:01,655
Um... nothing, it's just
a good number to shoot for.

227
00:09:01,657 --> 00:09:03,690
- Why are you limping?
- I stubbed my toe

228
00:09:03,692 --> 00:09:05,775
picking up the thumb. It really stings.

229
00:09:05,777 --> 00:09:09,162
Oh, damn it! Okay, act natural.

230
00:09:09,164 --> 00:09:11,998
Hey, there.
Everything okay with you guys?

231
00:09:12,000 --> 00:09:13,884
Yeah. Yeah.

232
00:09:13,886 --> 00:09:16,236
We were just organizing these batteries.

233
00:09:16,605 --> 00:09:19,089
I just have a couple questions
about shift assignments.

234
00:09:19,123 --> 00:09:22,140
Oh, uh, Glenn, I forgot to mention

235
00:09:22,160 --> 00:09:23,443
those skateboarders are back.

236
00:09:23,445 --> 00:09:24,844
Oh, Jeff, come with me.

237
00:09:24,844 --> 00:09:27,295
Now... now, those girls are big
for 12, but there's two of us,

238
00:09:27,297 --> 00:09:29,397
so it'll be a fair fight this time.

239
00:09:29,399 --> 00:09:30,631
Oh...

240
00:09:30,633 --> 00:09:31,816
Okay.

241
00:09:31,818 --> 00:09:34,418
Who broke into my locker?

242
00:09:35,040 --> 00:09:37,124
What is happening to this country?

243
00:09:37,145 --> 00:09:39,378
Mine looks burnt off.
It wasn't even locked.

244
00:09:39,478 --> 00:09:41,495
Everybody shut up.
I got you all presents.

245
00:09:41,496 --> 00:09:45,761
Oh, okay, guys, how nice of Dina to...

246
00:09:46,278 --> 00:09:49,036
break into our lockers
and give us presents.

247
00:09:49,037 --> 00:09:51,337
Yeah, prescription strength deodorant.

248
00:09:51,581 --> 00:09:54,141
- "Stop stink in its tracks."
- Now that's a gift

249
00:09:54,162 --> 00:09:56,295
- for all of us, my friend.
- Thoughtful.

250
00:09:56,298 --> 00:09:57,531
In its own way.

251
00:09:57,533 --> 00:09:59,816
- Men's razors?
- For your mustache.

252
00:10:00,036 --> 00:10:02,737
- You're welcome.
- "Gay Guy."

253
00:10:02,838 --> 00:10:04,347
Now, I had to order 30 of those,

254
00:10:04,347 --> 00:10:06,531
so if you have any gay guy
friends, just say the word.

255
00:10:06,533 --> 00:10:09,283
Um... okay, no big deal,

256
00:10:09,285 --> 00:10:10,801
but usually people say "Thank you"

257
00:10:10,803 --> 00:10:13,120
when they get presents. Come on.

258
00:10:13,122 --> 00:10:16,691
"It's Not All Interesting:
How to Tell a Better Story"?

259
00:10:16,693 --> 00:10:18,843
Now, I don't know if you
already have this.

260
00:10:18,845 --> 00:10:20,678
I'm assuming you don't.

261
00:10:20,680 --> 00:10:23,798
I'll be home in five, ten minutes max.

262
00:10:23,800 --> 00:10:27,084
Everyone's gonna wanna see
photos of the baby, so...

263
00:10:27,086 --> 00:10:29,570
oh, Amy... Hi, not now.

264
00:10:29,572 --> 00:10:32,974
Okay, quick drive to the hospital.

265
00:10:33,100 --> 00:10:35,767
They'll reattach the...
where's the thumb?

266
00:10:36,373 --> 00:10:38,719
- My thumb?
- Yes, Marcus, your thumb!

267
00:10:38,722 --> 00:10:41,022
There is no other thumb!

268
00:10:47,590 --> 00:10:50,173
Okay, listen closely.
When Jeff comes over,

269
00:10:50,175 --> 00:10:52,593
I'm gonna pretend to be mean to you,

270
00:10:52,595 --> 00:10:54,628
but it's all an act, okay?

271
00:10:54,630 --> 00:10:56,480
You're going too fast. I can't follow.

272
00:10:56,482 --> 00:10:58,932
It's simple. I'm gonna say mean things

273
00:10:58,934 --> 00:11:01,285
to you, but I don't
mean the things I say.

274
00:11:01,287 --> 00:11:03,086
So even though I really like you,

275
00:11:03,088 --> 00:11:05,022
I might say, "I hate you."

276
00:11:05,024 --> 00:11:07,491
- Hold up. You hate me?
- No, I love you.

277
00:11:07,493 --> 00:11:11,111
I... why is this so complicated?

278
00:11:11,113 --> 00:11:13,247
- Hey.
- Oh, ah, hey, Jeff.

279
00:11:13,249 --> 00:11:17,167
I was just telling this employee
how lazy I think he is.

280
00:11:17,169 --> 00:11:19,670
- You think I'm lazy?
- Yes...

281
00:11:19,672 --> 00:11:23,206
I'm sorry. I mean,
I-I try really, really hard.

282
00:11:23,637 --> 00:11:25,371
I always thought you liked me.

283
00:11:26,345 --> 00:11:28,979
I don't.

284
00:11:31,994 --> 00:11:34,228
He right. Actually, I am kinda lazy.

285
00:11:34,230 --> 00:11:37,614
Detergents. Pod, liquid, powder.

286
00:11:37,616 --> 00:11:40,200
Uh, high-efficiency,
et cetera, et cetera.

287
00:11:40,202 --> 00:11:41,401
- Whatever.
- Wow, thank you so much.

288
00:11:41,403 --> 00:11:43,170
You're a lifesaver.

289
00:11:43,172 --> 00:11:44,922
Oh, could you just
repeat that over here?

290
00:11:44,924 --> 00:11:46,039
Actually, I'm kinda in a hurry.

291
00:11:46,041 --> 00:11:47,541
So I... It'll only take a sec.

292
00:11:47,543 --> 00:11:49,660
This is my son. You're hurting my arm!

293
00:11:49,662 --> 00:11:50,794
I showed you where the detergent was!

294
00:11:51,914 --> 00:11:53,664
Now tell him what you just said to me.

295
00:11:53,666 --> 00:11:56,083
You're hurting my arm.

296
00:11:56,085 --> 00:11:59,186
I mean before that.
About being a lifesaver.

297
00:12:01,273 --> 00:12:03,006
It's okay, Owen. Mama's here.

298
00:12:03,008 --> 00:12:04,741
The bad man didn't get me.

299
00:12:05,734 --> 00:12:07,625
In the future, I'd love you to not

300
00:12:07,725 --> 00:12:10,293
grab our customers. Okay, Ma-tah-to?

301
00:12:10,295 --> 00:12:11,594
It's Ma-tato.

302
00:12:11,596 --> 00:12:13,679
I mean... Mateo.

303
00:12:15,650 --> 00:12:17,300
"Dear everyone,

304
00:12:17,302 --> 00:12:19,330
from the bottom of my heart I'm sorry

305
00:12:19,351 --> 00:12:20,450
that you are mad at me.

306
00:12:20,452 --> 00:12:21,885
I only acted the way the way I did

307
00:12:21,887 --> 00:12:24,187
because I'm a very loyal
person and I can't empathize

308
00:12:24,189 --> 00:12:26,428
with people who are
self-centered traitors.

309
00:12:26,449 --> 00:12:29,542
If I could go back in time
I would do the exact same thing.

310
00:12:29,545 --> 00:12:31,678
I consider this matter closed now."

311
00:12:31,680 --> 00:12:33,313
- Huh?
- Great.

312
00:12:33,315 --> 00:12:35,749
Great, uh... lotta great stuff in there.

313
00:12:35,751 --> 00:12:38,535
I just have a few notes. Tiny stuff.

314
00:12:38,537 --> 00:12:40,971
Maybe it could be
a little more personal.

315
00:12:40,973 --> 00:12:43,557
Sounds great. Write it up.

316
00:12:44,960 --> 00:12:46,276
There's just nothing like looking

317
00:12:46,278 --> 00:12:48,328
into your baby's eyes.

318
00:12:48,330 --> 00:12:49,896
Amy, wanna see my baby?

319
00:12:49,898 --> 00:12:51,298
Not now. I need everybody's help.

320
00:12:51,300 --> 00:12:53,433
Follow me, please.

321
00:12:53,837 --> 00:12:56,804
The last time we saw the thumb
it was in a tub of guacamole,

322
00:12:56,804 --> 00:12:59,421
but then we found this open tub
of guacamole on the floor,

323
00:12:59,422 --> 00:13:00,921
so it could be a different guacamole,

324
00:13:00,923 --> 00:13:02,406
or else it could be the same guacamole,

325
00:13:02,408 --> 00:13:03,691
but the thumb fell out.

326
00:13:03,693 --> 00:13:05,576
So the thumb could either
be in a guacamole

327
00:13:05,578 --> 00:13:07,411
or it could be anywhere. Any questions?

328
00:13:07,413 --> 00:13:09,497
Yeah, uh, is it just regular guacamole?

329
00:13:09,499 --> 00:13:11,649
No, it's, uh... grapefruit,
ginger, and lime.

330
00:13:11,651 --> 00:13:13,768
- Oh.
- Where's Marcus?

331
00:13:13,770 --> 00:13:15,870
Marcus is at the hospital.
Elias took him.

332
00:13:15,872 --> 00:13:17,521
We have 45 minutes to get him his thumb.

333
00:13:17,523 --> 00:13:19,273
Does the guacamole have nuts in it?

334
00:13:19,275 --> 00:13:20,508
What? Why does this matter?

335
00:13:20,510 --> 00:13:22,326
Well, I'm allergic.

336
00:13:22,820 --> 00:13:24,787
In the event of a tornado

337
00:13:24,808 --> 00:13:26,858
you wanna go straight for the eye of it.

338
00:13:26,860 --> 00:13:29,294
That is where it is safest.

339
00:13:29,296 --> 00:13:31,629
Oh, hi. We are just conducting

340
00:13:31,631 --> 00:13:33,681
a... a... an impromptu safety meeting.

341
00:13:33,683 --> 00:13:34,979
Well, I don't want to interrupt.

342
00:13:35,079 --> 00:13:36,528
I'm gonna need to see
all non-essential employees

343
00:13:36,531 --> 00:13:38,081
- in the break room.
- Right now?

344
00:13:38,083 --> 00:13:41,467
The man said now, so that means now!

345
00:13:44,972 --> 00:13:46,288
Okay, I'll see you there.

346
00:13:49,090 --> 00:13:51,040
Everything around here looks great.

347
00:13:51,042 --> 00:13:53,526
I mean, were there a few
expired shampoo bottles

348
00:13:53,528 --> 00:13:56,262
left on the shelf? Yes... six actually,

349
00:13:56,768 --> 00:13:59,189
but mostly good jobs.

350
00:13:59,267 --> 00:14:01,392
So now I would like you guys to tell me

351
00:14:01,407 --> 00:14:04,222
what we at corporate
can be doing better for you.

352
00:14:04,225 --> 00:14:06,592
You know, Jeff, it feels weird

353
00:14:06,594 --> 00:14:08,527
talking about this on company time.

354
00:14:08,529 --> 00:14:10,079
Oh, that's okay, it's an unpaid break.

355
00:14:10,081 --> 00:14:11,614
Yeah, of course it is.

356
00:14:11,616 --> 00:14:14,383
So maybe we'll just start
with the beginning of the day.

357
00:14:14,385 --> 00:14:16,435
Um, when we all clock in...

358
00:14:16,437 --> 00:14:17,686
You know what?
This sounds like it's gonna be

359
00:14:17,688 --> 00:14:20,990
a long Jonah story.
How about we put a pin in it

360
00:14:20,992 --> 00:14:24,059
and we get back out there
and we serve our customers.

361
00:14:24,479 --> 00:14:27,163
Really? I mean, now's your chance to say

362
00:14:27,184 --> 00:14:28,767
- anything you want to say to me.
- That's right, Jeff.

363
00:14:28,769 --> 00:14:30,703
Now is our chance, and we actually have

364
00:14:30,705 --> 00:14:32,404
a list of things that we think

365
00:14:32,406 --> 00:14:33,722
the company could do better.

366
00:14:33,724 --> 00:14:35,074
It's just I don't like complaining

367
00:14:35,076 --> 00:14:36,592
while we still have that outstanding

368
00:14:36,594 --> 00:14:38,327
shampoo problem to fix.

369
00:14:38,329 --> 00:14:39,762
You know, there are things that we could

370
00:14:39,764 --> 00:14:41,280
all do to improve.

371
00:14:41,282 --> 00:14:44,216
It's a... two-way street.

372
00:14:44,218 --> 00:14:47,236
- Okay. If that's how you feel.
- Uh-huh.

373
00:14:47,238 --> 00:14:49,138
Everybody, grab a cupcake!

374
00:14:49,140 --> 00:14:53,092
Oh! Nope, I hate cupcakes

375
00:14:53,094 --> 00:14:54,643
'cause I'm a meanie.

376
00:14:54,645 --> 00:14:56,228
Nobody move.

377
00:14:56,230 --> 00:14:57,897
- I have something to say.
- Ooh, I wanna hear this.

378
00:14:57,899 --> 00:14:59,315
- What?
- This is a letter

379
00:14:59,317 --> 00:15:02,501
to my subordinates
that I wrote by myself.

380
00:15:02,503 --> 00:15:05,654
Mahatma Gandhi once said,
"Forgiveness is an attribute

381
00:15:05,656 --> 00:15:08,540
of the strong"?
Ugh, starting with a quote.

382
00:15:08,542 --> 00:15:10,526
It's like a middle-school book report.

383
00:15:15,883 --> 00:15:17,866
Oh, uh, excuse me.

384
00:15:25,289 --> 00:15:27,856
- Oh, I'm actually not...
- Thank you so much.

385
00:15:27,858 --> 00:15:31,276
I'm in a rush.
I gotta get home to my kid.

386
00:15:31,278 --> 00:15:32,678
Sure.

387
00:15:34,582 --> 00:15:36,398
Oh.

388
00:15:38,436 --> 00:15:41,837
"So as I seek atonement
for my foibles..."

389
00:15:41,839 --> 00:15:43,689
that's a little bit much.

390
00:15:43,691 --> 00:15:47,142
Um, blah, blah, "The movie 'Magnolia"?

391
00:15:47,144 --> 00:15:49,962
- I'm gonna skip that.
- No, no, that's the best part!

392
00:15:49,964 --> 00:15:52,114
I would imagine.
It's... it's an excellent film.

393
00:15:52,116 --> 00:15:53,599
Okay, Dina, we get it.

394
00:15:53,601 --> 00:15:56,218
You messed up, you're sorry,
you'll never do it again.

395
00:15:56,220 --> 00:15:58,546
Actually, no. I'm not sorry.

396
00:15:58,593 --> 00:16:01,393
And this isn't even like
a "sorry, not sorry" situation.

397
00:16:01,414 --> 00:16:03,431
This is "not sorry, not sorry."

398
00:16:03,433 --> 00:16:05,850
You're all garbage, so grab a cupcake,

399
00:16:05,852 --> 00:16:08,453
and continue your slow march to death.

400
00:16:10,273 --> 00:16:12,757
- "Foibles."
- Great.

401
00:16:16,546 --> 00:16:18,129
That was brave, huh, guys?

402
00:16:21,685 --> 00:16:23,718
Hey, so I'm not sure
calling people "garbage"

403
00:16:23,720 --> 00:16:25,320
reads as an apology.

404
00:16:25,322 --> 00:16:27,221
Great leaders don't
care about being liked.

405
00:16:27,223 --> 00:16:28,873
Do you think dogs like Cesar Millan?

406
00:16:28,875 --> 00:16:30,525
Heck no, they just want
him to stop going,

407
00:16:30,527 --> 00:16:31,693
"Chh! Chh! Chh!"

408
00:16:31,695 --> 00:16:33,227
Why don't you care if people like you?

409
00:16:33,229 --> 00:16:34,912
Why do you care if people like you?

410
00:16:34,914 --> 00:16:36,864
- Because it's important.
- To you.

411
00:16:36,866 --> 00:16:38,149
Don't try to flip this, okay?

412
00:16:38,151 --> 00:16:40,268
- It's a basic human need.
- Of yours.

413
00:16:40,270 --> 00:16:42,036
You know what? I don't care how you feel

414
00:16:42,038 --> 00:16:43,688
about my need to be liked, and I realize

415
00:16:43,690 --> 00:16:45,089
that's kind of a contradiction,

416
00:16:45,091 --> 00:16:46,644
- but one day...
- Chh!

417
00:16:46,664 --> 00:16:47,212
Calm down!

418
00:16:47,233 --> 00:16:49,049
- Chh! Chh!
- Stop doing that.

419
00:16:49,051 --> 00:16:52,469
Chh! There it is.

420
00:16:59,862 --> 00:17:02,196
Whoever finds the thumb,
pick up the intercom

421
00:17:02,198 --> 00:17:04,932
and say...
I don't know, "strawberry jam."

422
00:17:04,934 --> 00:17:06,884
Ooh, but what if something
actually happens

423
00:17:06,886 --> 00:17:07,885
with strawberry jam?

424
00:17:07,887 --> 00:17:10,037
I am willing to take that chance.

425
00:17:10,039 --> 00:17:11,872
Do you think I'm a memorable person?

426
00:17:11,874 --> 00:17:13,340
Can you please stop asking questions

427
00:17:13,342 --> 00:17:14,730
and just go find the thumb?

428
00:17:14,830 --> 00:17:15,846
Please? Go.

429
00:17:23,889 --> 00:17:25,672
Ohh, beige.

430
00:17:25,674 --> 00:17:27,891
That's a crazy color for a towel.

431
00:17:27,893 --> 00:17:29,293
Nice.

432
00:17:29,295 --> 00:17:32,229
And you got one of this.

433
00:17:32,231 --> 00:17:34,598
Hmm. Oh, lady, hey!

434
00:17:34,600 --> 00:17:36,016
Let me dig in your basket.

435
00:17:48,114 --> 00:17:50,619
You guys, we are so out of time.

436
00:17:50,640 --> 00:17:52,834
Hey, guys, what's going on over here?

437
00:17:52,934 --> 00:17:54,833
Looks intense.

438
00:17:54,835 --> 00:17:56,151
Answer him!

439
00:17:56,153 --> 00:17:57,887
We were just talking about sales.

440
00:17:57,889 --> 00:18:01,473
Yeah, sales orders and utility patents

441
00:18:01,475 --> 00:18:03,359
and other words from "Shark Tank."

442
00:18:03,361 --> 00:18:04,460
- Okay.
- Good.

443
00:18:04,462 --> 00:18:05,694
Excuse me, are you the store manager?

444
00:18:05,696 --> 00:18:07,787
Heck yeah, I am, guy.

445
00:18:07,913 --> 00:18:09,579
I found a thumb in my guacamole.

446
00:18:12,417 --> 00:18:14,651
Strawberry jam. Strawberry jam.

447
00:18:15,675 --> 00:18:18,393
♪ The horn on the bus
goes beep, beep, beep ♪

448
00:18:18,395 --> 00:18:21,196
♪ Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep ♪

449
00:18:21,198 --> 00:18:23,281
Get off the phone! You're at work!

450
00:18:25,119 --> 00:18:26,818
I'm sorry.

451
00:18:31,792 --> 00:18:34,227
Thank you for shopping at Cloud 9...

452
00:18:34,962 --> 00:18:37,462
Oh, I put my phone in his bag.

453
00:18:37,464 --> 00:18:39,715
I'm weird for wanting to be liked.

454
00:18:39,717 --> 00:18:42,722
I mean, this isn't even about my ego.

455
00:18:42,754 --> 00:18:44,804
People getting along is the bedrock

456
00:18:44,806 --> 00:18:47,423
of a functioning society. Am I right?

457
00:18:50,595 --> 00:18:51,594
I've seen this one.

458
00:18:51,596 --> 00:18:52,979
They get in a big fight over a sofa,

459
00:18:52,981 --> 00:18:54,330
but it's not really about the sofa.

460
00:18:54,332 --> 00:18:55,314
I wanna keep it.

461
00:19:00,438 --> 00:19:03,940
Marcus got his thumb back,
so, you know, no harm no foul.

462
00:19:03,942 --> 00:19:06,192
I just really thought
that we could have a day

463
00:19:06,194 --> 00:19:07,443
where nothing went wrong.

464
00:19:07,445 --> 00:19:10,163
You mean like March 14th?

465
00:19:10,165 --> 00:19:13,366
We're never gonna have
another March 14th.

466
00:19:13,368 --> 00:19:16,252
Just be grateful you
were alive to see one.

467
00:19:16,254 --> 00:19:18,238
Do you think they're gonna fire me?

468
00:19:18,676 --> 00:19:21,424
I mean, I am the idiot who put
Marcus on the meat slicer.

469
00:19:21,426 --> 00:19:24,877
If they do, this whole store
will walk out in support of you.

470
00:19:24,879 --> 00:19:26,129
Thanks, Glenn, but I don't think

471
00:19:26,131 --> 00:19:28,965
we can pull that move twice in 48 hours.

472
00:19:31,136 --> 00:19:33,686
Hey, Jeff, have you told
corporate about the thumb yet?

473
00:19:33,688 --> 00:19:36,522
I'm just about to submit
an incident report now.

474
00:19:36,524 --> 00:19:38,274
Don't worry about it, I know
you had nothing to do with it.

475
00:19:38,276 --> 00:19:40,643
Cool. Cool.
Yeah, I was just making sure.

476
00:19:40,645 --> 00:19:43,529
But out of curiosity,
what's gonna happen to Amy?

477
00:19:43,531 --> 00:19:46,649
Suspension, termination.
We'll have to see.

478
00:19:46,651 --> 00:19:48,317
Well, I'll walk with you to the office.

479
00:19:48,319 --> 00:19:50,503
I actually have something
I'd like to submit as well.

480
00:19:50,986 --> 00:19:52,284
I mean, obviously
corporate needs to know

481
00:19:52,284 --> 00:19:53,934
that a district manager was on site

482
00:19:53,935 --> 00:19:56,652
when an untrained
employee maimed himself.

483
00:19:56,654 --> 00:19:58,154
Uh, I'm sorry?

484
00:19:58,156 --> 00:19:59,589
God, I really hope this doesn't hurt

485
00:19:59,591 --> 00:20:01,407
your shot at that senior VP slot

486
00:20:01,409 --> 00:20:03,643
when Todd Spurman retires in June.

487
00:20:06,364 --> 00:20:08,531
And if I didn't turn the report in?

488
00:20:08,533 --> 00:20:09,916
Well, if you didn't turn the report in,

489
00:20:09,918 --> 00:20:11,367
then officially nothing happened,

490
00:20:11,369 --> 00:20:15,004
so I guess that means
I would have nothing to report.

491
00:20:17,342 --> 00:20:19,375
Fine.

492
00:20:22,964 --> 00:20:26,065
- I really don't like you.
- I really don't care.

493
00:20:37,812 --> 00:20:39,779
Oh, hey. Hey.

494
00:20:39,781 --> 00:20:42,065
What? What can I do for you...

495
00:20:42,067 --> 00:20:43,399
- um...
- Mateo?

496
00:20:43,401 --> 00:20:45,401
My name's Mateo.

497
00:20:45,403 --> 00:20:46,953
You know, I've been busting
my butt trying to show you

498
00:20:46,955 --> 00:20:48,621
I'm a good worker,
but you have your head

499
00:20:48,623 --> 00:20:50,873
so far up your own butt
you haven't noticed.

500
00:20:52,210 --> 00:20:53,509
I am so sorry.

501
00:20:53,511 --> 00:20:54,794
I have no idea what came over me.

502
00:20:54,796 --> 00:20:56,212
- It's okay.
- I shouldn't be talking to you.

503
00:20:56,214 --> 00:20:57,513
Stop, stop, stop. Mateo, it's okay.

504
00:20:57,515 --> 00:20:58,765
I'm sorry. It's been a long week.

505
00:20:58,767 --> 00:21:01,300
- I've noticed you.
- Okay.

506
00:21:01,302 --> 00:21:04,337
Thank you. That's all I was asking.

507
00:21:05,390 --> 00:21:06,889
I've definitely noticed you.

508
00:21:13,281 --> 00:21:15,364
Holy.

509
00:21:20,105 --> 00:21:23,359
- Synced and corrected by hawken45 -
- www.addic7ed.com -