1 00:00:00,560 --> 00:00:01,627 I oversold it, didn't I? 2 00:00:01,953 --> 00:00:03,574 I always do that. I should have just said, 3 00:00:03,576 --> 00:00:04,987 "It's a good show. Maybe you'll like it." 4 00:00:04,987 --> 00:00:06,272 It just made me uncomfortable. 5 00:00:06,274 --> 00:00:07,821 I already have enough trouble as a working mom. 6 00:00:07,823 --> 00:00:10,418 I don't need to feel bad that I'm not also a KGB agent. 7 00:00:10,705 --> 00:00:13,134 Tell me again that Maya didn't see the union cards. 8 00:00:13,135 --> 00:00:14,773 She's the district manager. 9 00:00:14,775 --> 00:00:15,786 If she had seen them, 10 00:00:15,787 --> 00:00:17,276 she would have said something. 11 00:00:17,278 --> 00:00:19,111 Besides, you know, even if she did, 12 00:00:19,113 --> 00:00:20,339 it's too late now. 13 00:00:20,339 --> 00:00:23,415 The union train has left the station, baby! 14 00:00:23,417 --> 00:00:25,551 A, that's just too much for 8:00 a.m., 15 00:00:25,553 --> 00:00:28,254 and B, it's not too late for her to fire me. 16 00:00:28,256 --> 00:00:29,955 Nobody's getting fired. Get out of your head. 17 00:00:29,957 --> 00:00:31,724 You just have to co... 18 00:00:31,726 --> 00:00:33,225 Maya! 19 00:00:33,227 --> 00:00:35,828 - Hey, Maya's here. - Yeah. 20 00:00:35,830 --> 00:00:37,396 Hey, guys, sorry to give you a scare there. 21 00:00:37,398 --> 00:00:38,998 Halloween was yesterday, Maya. 22 00:00:39,000 --> 00:00:40,966 Ha. Yeah, it was. 23 00:00:40,968 --> 00:00:43,102 Um, so what's up? 24 00:00:43,104 --> 00:00:45,037 Well, I was planning my schedule, 25 00:00:45,039 --> 00:00:46,272 and I thought instead of heading up 26 00:00:46,274 --> 00:00:48,007 to the boring Quincy branch, 27 00:00:48,009 --> 00:00:49,675 that maybe I'd spend another day here. 28 00:00:49,677 --> 00:00:52,311 So I commandeered a corner of your desk here. 29 00:00:52,313 --> 00:00:55,361 - I hope you don't mind. - No, please, commandeer away. 30 00:00:55,362 --> 00:00:56,549 Great, thanks. Also, did you know 31 00:00:56,551 --> 00:00:58,450 that your pug-a-day calendar is a week ahead? 32 00:00:58,452 --> 00:01:01,239 Yeah, I get curious. 33 00:01:08,196 --> 00:01:09,862 I t that this doesn't look great, 34 00:01:09,864 --> 00:01:12,190 but maybe it's as innocent as it sounds. 35 00:01:12,191 --> 00:01:13,332 Yeah, sure. 36 00:01:13,334 --> 00:01:15,100 She just happened to extend her stay here 37 00:01:15,102 --> 00:01:16,769 the day after we turned in the cards, 38 00:01:16,771 --> 00:01:18,370 because she didn't wanna go to Quincy. 39 00:01:18,372 --> 00:01:20,539 Come on. That store used to be a bank. 40 00:01:20,541 --> 00:01:21,707 It has a skylight. 41 00:01:21,709 --> 00:01:24,910 I took Jerusha and Rose there for her birthday. 42 00:01:24,912 --> 00:01:26,478 Quincy is a showstopper. 43 00:01:26,480 --> 00:01:27,611 Nobody's arguing that. 44 00:01:27,612 --> 00:01:29,248 I'm just saying, Maya seems pretty chill. 45 00:01:29,250 --> 00:01:31,311 You know, she's not like a typical DM. 46 00:01:31,312 --> 00:01:33,852 Actually, sometimes, it's the friendliest DMs 47 00:01:33,854 --> 00:01:35,821 who are secretly the harshest. 48 00:01:35,823 --> 00:01:38,023 Like, you remember Marty over at Crestwood? 49 00:01:38,025 --> 00:01:40,593 One day, he's out playing squash with his DM. 50 00:01:40,595 --> 00:01:41,927 The next day, he's fired 51 00:01:41,929 --> 00:01:43,662 and the DM marries his daughter. 52 00:01:43,664 --> 00:01:44,797 Really? 53 00:01:44,799 --> 00:01:46,982 Well, the actual wedding wasn't the next day, 54 00:01:46,983 --> 00:01:48,367 but it makes a better story. 55 00:01:48,369 --> 00:01:50,903 Okay, well, Maya can't fire you for union stuff. 56 00:01:50,905 --> 00:01:52,484 Well, maybe that's why she's here. 57 00:01:52,485 --> 00:01:54,407 She's sticking around until she finds something else 58 00:01:54,408 --> 00:01:56,842 - she can fire me for. - Like what? Your numbers are good. 59 00:01:56,844 --> 00:01:58,214 You don't do drugs. You don't steal. 60 00:01:58,215 --> 00:02:00,446 Well, I've seen you pocket Splenda packets in the café, 61 00:02:00,448 --> 00:02:01,782 but we're talking, what, like, a handful? 62 00:02:02,231 --> 00:02:03,497 It's in the hundreds. 63 00:02:03,498 --> 00:02:06,497 Don't worry. You are a great manager, 64 00:02:06,499 --> 00:02:08,432 and Maya's gonna see that, you know, 65 00:02:08,434 --> 00:02:09,991 as long as we have one of our good days 66 00:02:09,992 --> 00:02:11,958 in the store, which we've been having 67 00:02:11,960 --> 00:02:13,026 a few of lately. 68 00:02:13,028 --> 00:02:15,567 Thank you, Glenn. I know you thought that was helpful. 69 00:02:16,365 --> 00:02:17,931 Free eye exams! 70 00:02:17,933 --> 00:02:20,300 See your partner better, learn the truth! 71 00:02:20,302 --> 00:02:21,935 Hey, you busy? 72 00:02:24,836 --> 00:02:26,104 I'm sorry, I don't know what that was. 73 00:02:26,105 --> 00:02:27,314 Are you finishing a magic trick? 74 00:02:27,315 --> 00:02:29,075 No, I'm just saying there's no one here. 75 00:02:29,076 --> 00:02:30,988 You were doing a magic trick for no one? 76 00:02:30,989 --> 00:02:33,156 There's no magic trick! Okay, what do you want? 77 00:02:33,158 --> 00:02:35,292 I need someone to help me run my shoplifter rehab course. 78 00:02:35,567 --> 00:02:36,766 Eddy's usually my assistant, 79 00:02:36,768 --> 00:02:38,199 but ironically, he got arrested. 80 00:02:38,200 --> 00:02:39,632 Oh, I'd be good with shoplifters 81 00:02:39,634 --> 00:02:41,801 because I'm some sort of criminal to you, huh? 82 00:02:41,803 --> 00:02:43,436 Just because I have an ankle monitor, 83 00:02:43,438 --> 00:02:45,405 suddenly, I'm, like, the cutest boy in the Crips? 84 00:02:45,407 --> 00:02:47,073 Actually, there's a lot of yelling involved, 85 00:02:47,075 --> 00:02:48,442 and I thought you'd be interested in that. 86 00:02:49,289 --> 00:02:50,877 Yeah, that sounds fun. I'm in. 87 00:02:50,885 --> 00:02:53,519 Amy and I combined Spotify accounts last night. 88 00:02:53,921 --> 00:02:55,548 It just felt like time, you know? 89 00:02:55,550 --> 00:02:57,016 Wow, big step. 90 00:02:57,018 --> 00:02:58,318 I'm surprised you weren't worried about 91 00:02:58,319 --> 00:03:00,520 ruining your personalized recommendations. 92 00:03:00,522 --> 00:03:02,088 Oh, good God. 93 00:03:02,090 --> 00:03:05,191 Hey, what do you think of these? 94 00:03:05,193 --> 00:03:08,695 I think those are candles with anchors on them. 95 00:03:08,697 --> 00:03:10,363 Thanks, I like 'em too. 96 00:03:10,365 --> 00:03:12,131 Jerry wants our wedding to have a nautical theme 97 00:03:12,133 --> 00:03:13,333 since he was born on a tugboat. 98 00:03:13,335 --> 00:03:15,001 Well, a boat does have an anchor, 99 00:03:15,003 --> 00:03:16,336 so you nailed it. 100 00:03:16,338 --> 00:03:17,904 Okay, these are the last ones 101 00:03:17,906 --> 00:03:20,039 I could find in the back. 102 00:03:20,041 --> 00:03:24,210 Oh, so Carol's helping you out? 103 00:03:24,212 --> 00:03:27,146 Sandra and I are committed to repairing our friendship. 104 00:03:27,148 --> 00:03:29,882 Bricks on the back are lighter than pebbles in the soul, 105 00:03:29,884 --> 00:03:30,967 right, Sandra? 106 00:03:31,853 --> 00:03:34,287 So much lighter. 107 00:03:34,289 --> 00:03:36,956 Okay, I'm gonna go see if I can find a captain's hat 108 00:03:36,958 --> 00:03:39,959 that will fit Jerry's big ol' melon. 109 00:03:41,630 --> 00:03:43,563 Are you sure you're okay? 110 00:03:43,565 --> 00:03:44,697 Totally. 111 00:03:44,699 --> 00:03:45,965 And so you know, 112 00:03:45,967 --> 00:03:47,066 I'll be here for the next hour 113 00:03:47,068 --> 00:03:48,635 and then I'll be in grocery, 114 00:03:48,637 --> 00:03:50,770 just in case you wanna say hi later 115 00:03:50,772 --> 00:03:52,672 and make sure something's not wrong. 116 00:03:53,875 --> 00:03:55,670 Not that it would be. 117 00:03:55,930 --> 00:03:57,644 But here and then grocery. 118 00:04:00,417 --> 00:04:02,239 Oh, it looks like you swapped out those scanners 119 00:04:02,240 --> 00:04:04,674 - that were causing hand cancer. - Yes. 120 00:04:04,676 --> 00:04:08,211 Uh, no disciplinary write-ups in the last quarter. 121 00:04:08,213 --> 00:04:11,148 - Yeah. No... no... no need. - Good. 122 00:04:11,188 --> 00:04:13,616 I don't know where your nice flip-flops are, Bo. 123 00:04:13,618 --> 00:04:14,951 Just wear anything. 124 00:04:15,352 --> 00:04:17,019 - Excuse me just one second. - Uh-huh. 125 00:04:17,430 --> 00:04:19,564 Cheyenne, you know we're not supposed to be 126 00:04:19,566 --> 00:04:22,122 on personal phone calls on the floor. 127 00:04:22,123 --> 00:04:23,568 Just one second. 128 00:04:23,570 --> 00:04:24,869 You can't just blow it off. 129 00:04:24,871 --> 00:04:25,926 You have to get here. 130 00:04:25,959 --> 00:04:28,092 Take a bath with the dogs later. 131 00:04:28,274 --> 00:04:30,268 My husband's being such a b-munch right now. 132 00:04:30,269 --> 00:04:32,836 Okay, well, just because he's being a b-munch, 133 00:04:32,838 --> 00:04:34,438 doesn't mean that's a good enough reason 134 00:04:34,440 --> 00:04:35,706 to not be working. 135 00:04:35,708 --> 00:04:37,374 Totally. Bye, Bo. 136 00:04:37,376 --> 00:04:39,143 Honestly, this never happens. 137 00:04:39,145 --> 00:04:40,778 Well, it's hard to police phone stuff. 138 00:04:40,780 --> 00:04:42,379 Well, not for me, it isn't. 139 00:04:42,381 --> 00:04:45,516 Attention employees. Uh, listen up. 140 00:04:45,518 --> 00:04:48,752 Just a reminder that this couch here is not a mobile hot spot. 141 00:04:48,754 --> 00:04:50,754 No cell phones, per usual. 142 00:04:51,151 --> 00:04:52,669 Don't know why I have to say it again. 143 00:04:52,670 --> 00:04:54,366 Can whoever is talking keep it down? 144 00:04:54,367 --> 00:04:55,833 We're trying to watch news anchor fails 145 00:04:55,835 --> 00:04:58,001 and the sound quality's full "garbagio." 146 00:04:59,672 --> 00:05:01,605 She did put her phone away. 147 00:05:01,607 --> 00:05:03,107 Listen up, scrodes. 148 00:05:03,109 --> 00:05:05,476 My name is Dina Fox, and my goal here today is 149 00:05:05,478 --> 00:05:07,978 to cure you lowlife scum of your criminal tendencies 150 00:05:07,980 --> 00:05:10,381 and transform you into upstanding citizens. 151 00:05:10,383 --> 00:05:12,383 If that's even possible. 152 00:05:12,385 --> 00:05:14,451 Ah! Sorry I'm late. 153 00:05:14,453 --> 00:05:16,687 Oh, I thought I saw a manatee on the side of the road. 154 00:05:16,689 --> 00:05:17,851 Hoo-hoo. 155 00:05:17,852 --> 00:05:19,313 Turns out, it was just a gray sweatshirt. 156 00:05:19,406 --> 00:05:22,208 Oh, but that sweatshirt was huge! 157 00:05:22,209 --> 00:05:24,297 Okay, just sit down, Bo. Thank you. 158 00:05:24,966 --> 00:05:27,326 All right, if you pass this course, 159 00:05:27,328 --> 00:05:29,538 The store will not be pressing criminal charges. 160 00:05:29,539 --> 00:05:32,773 If you fail, your crimes will be reported to the fuzz. 161 00:05:32,775 --> 00:05:33,852 Right, Mateo? 162 00:05:33,853 --> 00:05:35,119 I've got the local police station 163 00:05:35,121 --> 00:05:36,520 right here in my contacts. 164 00:05:36,801 --> 00:05:39,135 - Isn't it just 911? - Silence, scrode! 165 00:05:39,179 --> 00:05:42,159 Oh, dang, dude got roasted! 166 00:05:42,161 --> 00:05:43,761 Okay, first things first. 167 00:05:43,763 --> 00:05:45,062 I want you all to take out 168 00:05:45,064 --> 00:05:46,764 your corporate-approved workbooks 169 00:05:47,451 --> 00:05:48,899 and just rip them up. 170 00:05:48,901 --> 00:05:50,334 Go ahead. We're gonna do things 171 00:05:50,336 --> 00:05:51,815 a little bit differently here today. 172 00:05:52,405 --> 00:05:53,871 That's it, go on. 173 00:05:53,873 --> 00:05:55,639 Yeah. Ha-ha. 174 00:05:56,197 --> 00:05:57,207 All right. 175 00:05:57,209 --> 00:06:00,790 Anyone who ripped up their workbook has failed. 176 00:06:00,916 --> 00:06:02,512 You just destroyed company property. 177 00:06:02,513 --> 00:06:04,848 - Get out! - Aw, man. 178 00:06:04,850 --> 00:06:06,483 That's the third time I've fell for this. 179 00:06:08,301 --> 00:06:09,934 "Attention employees, 180 00:06:09,936 --> 00:06:11,571 please gather in the break room 181 00:06:11,572 --> 00:06:16,075 for our regularly-scheduled refresher on store rules." 182 00:06:16,077 --> 00:06:18,577 I'm emphasizing "regularly-scheduled" 183 00:06:18,579 --> 00:06:20,179 because it's underlined twice 184 00:06:20,181 --> 00:06:22,477 on this piece of paper Amy just handed me. 185 00:06:23,084 --> 00:06:24,984 Okay, no phones on the floor, 186 00:06:24,986 --> 00:06:27,052 Laptops are for customers. 187 00:06:27,054 --> 00:06:30,055 If there's time to lean, there's time to... 188 00:06:30,057 --> 00:06:31,824 Oh, I know, dream. 189 00:06:31,826 --> 00:06:33,092 No, not dream. 190 00:06:33,094 --> 00:06:35,261 - Lean. - I just said lean. 191 00:06:35,263 --> 00:06:37,796 Oh, come on, guys. You know she means clean, 192 00:06:37,798 --> 00:06:39,398 which most of us are already doing 193 00:06:39,400 --> 00:06:40,978 in our downtime anyway. 194 00:06:40,979 --> 00:06:42,301 Yep, that's right. 195 00:06:42,302 --> 00:06:43,856 'Cause we know if we ever stopped 196 00:06:43,858 --> 00:06:45,191 working our tails off, 197 00:06:45,193 --> 00:06:47,393 Amy will swoop in to smack us around. 198 00:06:47,395 --> 00:06:49,829 Well, not quite smack us around, 199 00:06:49,831 --> 00:06:51,058 but write us up. 200 00:06:51,059 --> 00:06:53,293 Yeah, no, I don't hit my employees. 201 00:06:53,295 --> 00:06:55,695 - I figured that. - Okay. 202 00:06:56,138 --> 00:06:59,032 Next rule, always clock in on time. 203 00:06:59,034 --> 00:07:00,734 What if on your way to work, you see a plane crash 204 00:07:00,735 --> 00:07:02,035 and need to stop to pull passengers 205 00:07:02,037 --> 00:07:03,169 from the wreckage? 206 00:07:03,171 --> 00:07:05,672 Um, if on your way in, 207 00:07:05,674 --> 00:07:09,142 you see a plane crash, then you can be late. 208 00:07:09,144 --> 00:07:11,711 Oh, but what about a train crash? 209 00:07:11,713 --> 00:07:14,018 Um, any of the crashes. 210 00:07:14,024 --> 00:07:15,000 All right, we're moving on. 211 00:07:15,001 --> 00:07:16,433 Well, what if it's a fender bender 212 00:07:16,435 --> 00:07:17,681 where someone could have been hurt? 213 00:07:17,682 --> 00:07:18,981 Okay, Marcus, I'm sure they're fine. 214 00:07:18,983 --> 00:07:20,483 We should probably keep going. 215 00:07:20,517 --> 00:07:21,517 But what if they're not? 216 00:07:21,519 --> 00:07:22,941 What if they have a baby in the back 217 00:07:22,942 --> 00:07:24,779 and it's, like, loose and it's rolling around 218 00:07:24,809 --> 00:07:26,110 like a volleyball? All right, that's it. 219 00:07:26,111 --> 00:07:27,744 I'm writing you up for insubordination. 220 00:07:27,746 --> 00:07:30,277 I get written up for that, but Russell can smoke pot 221 00:07:30,331 --> 00:07:31,364 in the garden center? 222 00:07:31,366 --> 00:07:32,516 What? 223 00:07:32,517 --> 00:07:35,064 Well, I didn't know that was happening, 224 00:07:35,104 --> 00:07:38,038 so now that I do, I'm gonna right him up. 225 00:07:38,040 --> 00:07:39,418 Hey, thanks, dick. 226 00:07:39,419 --> 00:07:40,820 This is why you weren't invited to bowling. 227 00:07:40,821 --> 00:07:43,432 I knew you guys were bowling! I knew it! 228 00:07:43,625 --> 00:07:45,990 And you looked me in my eyes, and you told me it was a myth. 229 00:07:45,992 --> 00:07:47,259 Yeah, what are you gonna do about it? 230 00:07:47,260 --> 00:07:48,392 Oh, come at me, bro. 231 00:07:48,394 --> 00:07:50,027 Jonah, get my back. 232 00:07:50,029 --> 00:07:51,329 I'm not gonna do that. 233 00:07:52,599 --> 00:07:54,365 Hey, hey, hey! No, no, no, no! 234 00:07:56,169 --> 00:07:57,468 - Horseman! - Russell! 235 00:07:57,470 --> 00:07:58,870 "Horseman," that's the cue! 236 00:08:02,402 --> 00:08:04,736 Well, Maya reported the fight to HR. 237 00:08:05,149 --> 00:08:06,475 She said it wasn't a big deal, 238 00:08:06,476 --> 00:08:08,376 but she couldn't even look me in the eye when she said it, 239 00:08:08,377 --> 00:08:10,778 which I have a teenager daughter, I know what that means. 240 00:08:10,780 --> 00:08:11,812 It's not even your fault. 241 00:08:11,814 --> 00:08:13,847 It's not like you're the one who slammed Russell on the table. 242 00:08:13,848 --> 00:08:15,357 If anything, you broke the fight up 243 00:08:15,394 --> 00:08:16,560 by pouring oat milk on 'em. 244 00:08:16,562 --> 00:08:17,961 It was weird but effective. 245 00:08:17,963 --> 00:08:19,129 It doesn't even matter. 246 00:08:19,131 --> 00:08:20,430 At this point, it just looks like 247 00:08:20,432 --> 00:08:22,499 I have zero control over my employees. 248 00:08:22,760 --> 00:08:24,526 Oh, it'll be fine. 249 00:08:24,614 --> 00:08:26,827 You just need to find a way to show Maya 250 00:08:26,828 --> 00:08:28,428 that you mean business. 251 00:08:28,724 --> 00:08:30,812 It's too bad you can't just fire someone, though. 252 00:08:30,813 --> 00:08:34,147 Yeah. But maybe I could. 253 00:08:34,149 --> 00:08:36,383 Wait, are you talking about me? 254 00:08:36,385 --> 00:08:39,001 Fine, Amy, you can't fire me. I quit. 255 00:08:39,341 --> 00:08:41,681 Glenn, calm down. I'm gonna fire anyone. 256 00:08:41,708 --> 00:08:43,808 I'm just saying, maybe I can make it look 257 00:08:43,810 --> 00:08:45,476 like I'm firing someone. 258 00:08:45,478 --> 00:08:46,732 You know, it's just not fair. 259 00:08:46,733 --> 00:08:48,796 Dina's using, like, hypnosis or some crap. 260 00:08:48,923 --> 00:08:51,427 You gotta stop blaming all your problems on hypnosis. 261 00:08:52,092 --> 00:08:53,157 Hello there. 262 00:08:53,158 --> 00:08:55,594 I'd like to buy these apples, please. 263 00:08:55,596 --> 00:08:57,875 No problem. That'll be 50 cents. 264 00:08:58,097 --> 00:09:01,432 But apples usually cost 40 cents. 265 00:09:01,535 --> 00:09:03,191 I don't understand. 266 00:09:03,263 --> 00:09:04,629 Cloud 9 had to raise the price 267 00:09:04,772 --> 00:09:06,939 due to all the people stealing them. 268 00:09:06,941 --> 00:09:08,540 But I never stole. 269 00:09:08,542 --> 00:09:11,376 Now my children shall go hungry tonight. 270 00:09:11,378 --> 00:09:13,912 And scene. 271 00:09:18,485 --> 00:09:20,118 You think we can get a bathroom break? 272 00:09:20,120 --> 00:09:21,653 It's been two hours of this. 273 00:09:21,655 --> 00:09:23,102 Oh, you need to use the restroom? 274 00:09:23,103 --> 00:09:25,340 Why, so you can steal a quart of our pink soap? 275 00:09:25,394 --> 00:09:27,561 You think I don't know how much that stuff goes for on the street? 276 00:09:27,562 --> 00:09:28,672 Absolutely not. 277 00:09:28,673 --> 00:09:30,107 All right, Mateo, could you play Dock Worker 278 00:09:30,108 --> 00:09:31,308 number one in this next series? 279 00:09:31,405 --> 00:09:33,542 Yep. No, wait. 280 00:09:33,544 --> 00:09:35,402 Yep. Yep. 281 00:09:35,403 --> 00:09:36,410 I'll find it. 282 00:09:36,447 --> 00:09:37,803 Okay, so what's in it for me? 283 00:09:38,124 --> 00:09:39,639 Well, I mean, if you help me out 284 00:09:39,640 --> 00:09:42,515 and all goes well, I'll... I'll make sure 285 00:09:42,549 --> 00:09:44,449 Dina passes you in the shoplifter class. 286 00:09:46,320 --> 00:09:47,953 - A'ight, I'm in. - Okay, great. 287 00:09:47,955 --> 00:09:50,789 So you just slack off, and then I'll come find you 288 00:09:50,791 --> 00:09:53,224 and say, "Where's that Turtle Wax endcap" 289 00:09:53,226 --> 00:09:55,460 I told you to put up? This is your third strike." 290 00:09:55,462 --> 00:09:57,462 And I'll fire you in front of Maya. 291 00:09:57,464 --> 00:09:59,089 - Oh. - Okay, here's your vest. 292 00:09:59,733 --> 00:10:01,633 What? "Dave"? 293 00:10:01,635 --> 00:10:05,503 I wanna be Puma, raised in the jungles of Peru, 294 00:10:05,505 --> 00:10:07,305 but his parents snuck him into America 295 00:10:07,307 --> 00:10:08,940 on an atomic submarine. 296 00:10:08,942 --> 00:10:11,182 - Oh, does he ever go back? - Okay, so... 297 00:10:11,216 --> 00:10:12,644 Okay, I don't have time for this. 298 00:10:12,646 --> 00:10:14,412 Somebody put Skittles in the Coinstar machine. 299 00:10:14,414 --> 00:10:16,267 I have to fix it before Maya sees. 300 00:10:17,084 --> 00:10:18,483 Okay, back to work. 301 00:10:18,485 --> 00:10:20,018 Check it out. What's up? 302 00:10:20,020 --> 00:10:21,252 I'm an employee right now. 303 00:10:21,254 --> 00:10:22,520 - Yeah. - Yeah. 304 00:10:22,522 --> 00:10:25,290 Uh, excuse me. Attention, everybody. 305 00:10:25,292 --> 00:10:28,193 Green beans are now $1 million, so... 306 00:10:28,195 --> 00:10:30,362 Okay, Bo, stop. All right? 307 00:10:30,364 --> 00:10:32,497 You need to take this seriously. 308 00:10:32,499 --> 00:10:34,366 I can't keep bailing you out of jail. 309 00:10:34,368 --> 00:10:36,201 We have, like, no money. 310 00:10:36,572 --> 00:10:38,503 Fine, okay. 311 00:10:38,893 --> 00:10:42,674 Green beans are now the normal price. 312 00:10:43,484 --> 00:10:44,757 - That was good. - Yeah. 313 00:10:45,766 --> 00:10:46,886 Mmm. 314 00:10:48,553 --> 00:10:51,330 I like this one, but I don't think we can do Funfetti. 315 00:10:51,331 --> 00:10:53,164 Jerry's family is very conservative. 316 00:10:53,166 --> 00:10:55,666 Wait, there's one more I want you to try. 317 00:10:55,668 --> 00:10:57,301 It's homemade. 318 00:10:57,303 --> 00:11:00,471 - Oh, you... you made that? - Yeah, just for you. 319 00:11:00,473 --> 00:11:02,273 It's got a secret ingredient. 320 00:11:02,275 --> 00:11:03,474 Ooh. 321 00:11:03,476 --> 00:11:05,009 - Oh. - Come on, open up. 322 00:11:05,011 --> 00:11:06,144 Okay. 323 00:11:09,349 --> 00:11:11,983 Mmm. 324 00:11:11,985 --> 00:11:14,118 So good. 325 00:11:14,120 --> 00:11:17,789 - And now we wait. - For what? 326 00:11:17,791 --> 00:11:19,991 - For your wedding. - Oh. 327 00:11:24,216 --> 00:11:26,016 Um, hey, Dave. 328 00:11:26,132 --> 00:11:27,605 Oh, what up, Amy? 329 00:11:27,606 --> 00:11:30,993 What up, Dave, is that I asked you hours ago 330 00:11:30,994 --> 00:11:33,859 to assemble the Turtle Wax endcap, and it's still not done. 331 00:11:33,860 --> 00:11:35,192 Oh, actually, I was gonna tell you... 332 00:11:35,194 --> 00:11:36,960 No, I don't wanna hear any of your excuses. 333 00:11:36,962 --> 00:11:39,418 You know what? This is your third strike this month. 334 00:11:39,602 --> 00:11:40,985 I made up my mind. 335 00:11:41,026 --> 00:11:42,355 I'm gonna have to let you go. 336 00:11:42,357 --> 00:11:44,691 I'm so sorry you have to witness this, Maya. 337 00:11:44,693 --> 00:11:46,426 No, please, these are your employees. 338 00:11:46,428 --> 00:11:49,062 Yeah, I was gonna say I did that endcap a while ago. 339 00:11:49,064 --> 00:11:50,663 I set it up in the breezeway, you know, 340 00:11:50,665 --> 00:11:52,398 more foot traffic and et ceteras. 341 00:11:53,462 --> 00:11:56,263 Wow, um... uh... wow. 342 00:11:56,351 --> 00:11:58,017 I'm... I'm just stunned, 343 00:11:58,073 --> 00:12:01,538 because this is isn't what we agreed upon, Dave. 344 00:12:01,596 --> 00:12:04,932 Yeah, well, I was thinking about something Cheyenne said, 345 00:12:04,946 --> 00:12:06,946 and I figured, like, if I did a really good job, 346 00:12:06,948 --> 00:12:08,915 then it wouldn't really make sense to fire me, 347 00:12:08,917 --> 00:12:10,984 because that would be, like, bad management. 348 00:12:11,031 --> 00:12:12,320 Know what I'm saying? 349 00:12:12,366 --> 00:12:14,400 So, uh, guess I still work here. 350 00:12:14,429 --> 00:12:15,895 Maybe I can pick up a few extra shifts. 351 00:12:16,024 --> 00:12:17,284 No. No, no, no. 352 00:12:17,319 --> 00:12:19,319 I already said that you're fired. 353 00:12:19,407 --> 00:12:21,841 And... and... and what I say goes, 354 00:12:21,876 --> 00:12:23,442 and I'm a... I'm a woman of my word. 355 00:12:23,464 --> 00:12:26,465 So... so all of those things put together 356 00:12:26,601 --> 00:12:27,700 means you're fired. 357 00:12:27,702 --> 00:12:29,113 Aw, man. 358 00:12:29,124 --> 00:12:31,022 Cheyenne was right. I'm a screwup. 359 00:12:31,306 --> 00:12:33,464 I'm just a dumb, useless butt. 360 00:12:33,508 --> 00:12:35,141 - No, Dave, no. - No, no, no. 361 00:12:35,276 --> 00:12:38,778 No, nobody is getting fired today, all right? 362 00:12:38,914 --> 00:12:40,219 - Really? - Yes. 363 00:12:42,984 --> 00:12:45,385 Amy, why don't you and I go have lunch? 364 00:12:48,256 --> 00:12:50,277 What's up? Dave's back, y'all. 365 00:12:51,726 --> 00:12:53,059 Heh-heh. 366 00:12:54,206 --> 00:12:57,591 She's taking me out to lunch. She's gonna fire me, right? 367 00:12:57,741 --> 00:12:58,748 No. 368 00:12:58,761 --> 00:13:01,249 I mean, that is how they fired Marty, 369 00:13:01,289 --> 00:13:02,623 so he wouldn't have some violent outburst 370 00:13:02,624 --> 00:13:03,656 in the store. 371 00:13:03,726 --> 00:13:05,158 But maybe Maya's got 372 00:13:05,220 --> 00:13:06,894 some really great news for you, 373 00:13:06,915 --> 00:13:09,783 and she's worried about you having a positive outburst. 374 00:13:09,838 --> 00:13:11,504 Yeah, like, you know, 375 00:13:11,539 --> 00:13:13,083 "Oh, this news is so great, 376 00:13:13,108 --> 00:13:15,508 I wanna choke somebody out." 377 00:13:15,564 --> 00:13:18,732 Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I'm sure that's what it is. 378 00:13:23,412 --> 00:13:24,792 This is not good. 379 00:13:25,474 --> 00:13:26,518 So? 380 00:13:26,868 --> 00:13:28,601 Yeah, I think they're gonna fire her. 381 00:13:28,663 --> 00:13:30,820 Wow. 382 00:13:30,821 --> 00:13:32,521 So I guess you'll be manager again. 383 00:13:32,523 --> 00:13:33,688 What? No. 384 00:13:33,690 --> 00:13:35,590 I would never take Amy's job. 385 00:13:35,592 --> 00:13:37,359 Why not? You did it for years. 386 00:13:37,361 --> 00:13:38,700 Who else is gonna do it? 387 00:13:39,971 --> 00:13:42,030 I mean, I guess I got no choice. 388 00:13:42,032 --> 00:13:43,765 And the store needs a manager. 389 00:13:43,767 --> 00:13:47,102 And we need one, like, now. This place is crazy. 390 00:13:47,104 --> 00:13:49,538 There was a fight earlier. 391 00:13:51,175 --> 00:13:53,675 This is perfect for the honeymoon. 392 00:13:53,677 --> 00:13:56,044 There's just so many holes. 393 00:13:56,046 --> 00:13:58,967 Oh, Sandra, our bodies are vessels of beauty. 394 00:13:58,988 --> 00:14:00,588 Don't be ashamed. 395 00:14:00,590 --> 00:14:02,856 God, I can't wait to see Jerry's face 396 00:14:02,858 --> 00:14:04,358 when he sees this. 397 00:14:04,360 --> 00:14:05,657 Huh? 398 00:14:06,195 --> 00:14:08,596 I said, I can't wait for you to see Jerry's face 399 00:14:08,598 --> 00:14:09,697 when he sees this. 400 00:14:13,769 --> 00:14:16,036 Attention, shoppers, please gather 401 00:14:16,038 --> 00:14:18,038 for a very special parade. 402 00:14:18,040 --> 00:14:19,707 That's right, it's the Cloud 9 403 00:14:19,709 --> 00:14:22,710 Shoplifters Parade of Shame. 404 00:14:22,712 --> 00:14:24,211 Here, you read these. 405 00:14:24,213 --> 00:14:25,363 I'm gonna pass out the tomatoes. 406 00:14:25,393 --> 00:14:27,060 Tomatoes? Dina... 407 00:14:27,183 --> 00:14:28,816 those aren't for throwing, are they? 408 00:14:28,818 --> 00:14:30,884 What? Oh, no. 409 00:14:30,886 --> 00:14:32,820 No, no, no. These are free samples. 410 00:14:32,822 --> 00:14:34,223 And if someone felt compelled to throw one, 411 00:14:34,224 --> 00:14:35,956 that would be both illegal and wrong, 412 00:14:35,958 --> 00:14:37,689 just like shoplifting. 413 00:14:40,896 --> 00:14:43,364 Ooh, wow, "local clams." 414 00:14:43,366 --> 00:14:45,399 Where do you think they're getting those from? 415 00:14:45,401 --> 00:14:46,911 Uh... uh, the river. 416 00:14:47,057 --> 00:14:48,202 The river? 417 00:14:48,629 --> 00:14:50,495 Okay, I can't do this anymore. 418 00:14:50,497 --> 00:14:52,946 Maya, I know that I have been messing up all day. 419 00:14:52,947 --> 00:14:54,513 But before you fire me, 420 00:14:54,515 --> 00:14:57,149 I think you should know that I am a really good manager 421 00:14:57,151 --> 00:14:58,850 and... and... and... and I command respect 422 00:14:58,852 --> 00:14:59,946 and I don't do drugs 423 00:14:59,947 --> 00:15:01,373 and I don't steal Splenda packets. 424 00:15:01,374 --> 00:15:03,835 Amy, I asked you to lunch 425 00:15:04,006 --> 00:15:05,538 because I thought a break from the store 426 00:15:05,540 --> 00:15:07,807 might help you chill out, girl. 427 00:15:07,809 --> 00:15:09,576 - Really? - Yes. 428 00:15:09,578 --> 00:15:12,078 I am not here to fire anybody. 429 00:15:12,080 --> 00:15:16,850 Okay, 'cause, um, today has been a disaster. 430 00:15:16,852 --> 00:15:18,084 I mean, I would fire me. 431 00:15:18,086 --> 00:15:20,987 - It has been weird. - Yeah. 432 00:15:21,042 --> 00:15:24,143 Sure, but you're nervous. I get it. 433 00:15:24,646 --> 00:15:26,285 When the DM would visit my store, 434 00:15:26,294 --> 00:15:29,015 I would sweat through my shirt. 435 00:15:29,220 --> 00:15:32,855 Yeah, there's a storm brewing underneath here. 436 00:15:32,905 --> 00:15:33,951 Yeah. 437 00:15:33,953 --> 00:15:36,998 So then if I... if I wanted to get 438 00:15:37,039 --> 00:15:38,990 a glass of wine, is... 439 00:15:38,992 --> 00:15:41,064 I mean, you are going back to the store after this, 440 00:15:41,105 --> 00:15:42,126 though, right? 441 00:15:42,311 --> 00:15:44,211 Yeah, no, I just... I meant for later, 442 00:15:44,213 --> 00:15:46,547 for a friend... you're just joking. 443 00:15:46,549 --> 00:15:48,115 Of course. I knew that. 444 00:15:48,117 --> 00:15:49,316 I got it. 445 00:15:49,318 --> 00:15:51,142 Can I have some of the house red? 446 00:15:52,188 --> 00:15:54,113 That's not a waiter. It's just a man. 447 00:15:55,191 --> 00:15:56,790 - Get out. - What? 448 00:15:56,792 --> 00:15:57,891 What? 449 00:15:57,893 --> 00:15:59,560 - Oh! - Oh. 450 00:15:59,562 --> 00:16:03,063 Uh, Bo, Maya's not here. 451 00:16:03,065 --> 00:16:05,332 You don't have to keep pretending to be an employee. 452 00:16:05,408 --> 00:16:07,709 Oh, no, it's cool. Glenn hired him. 453 00:16:07,949 --> 00:16:11,038 Yeah, what's up? Your boy Dave is here to stay. 454 00:16:11,040 --> 00:16:12,821 - Ah! - I'm sorry, Glenn? 455 00:16:12,908 --> 00:16:14,574 - Why would Glenn... - Hey, Preet, go to two. 456 00:16:14,576 --> 00:16:16,714 Oh, uh, Jonah, we've got a Hazmat situation 457 00:16:16,715 --> 00:16:18,119 over in housewares. 458 00:16:18,120 --> 00:16:19,673 Grab a pair of gloves and head over. 459 00:16:19,674 --> 00:16:22,074 Preety, I need those POUs. 460 00:16:22,076 --> 00:16:24,276 Why would... do I have to? 461 00:16:24,278 --> 00:16:26,222 Was he wearing a tie this morning? 462 00:16:26,827 --> 00:16:28,627 And I was like, "I don't care. Write me up." 463 00:16:28,749 --> 00:16:31,411 I am not doing a Latin accent to sell some queso. 464 00:16:31,412 --> 00:16:33,519 Oh, my God, that happened to me, 465 00:16:33,521 --> 00:16:34,887 but with salsa. 466 00:16:37,402 --> 00:16:39,224 We have so much in common. 467 00:16:41,062 --> 00:16:42,928 I like you, Amy. 468 00:16:42,930 --> 00:16:45,731 Hell, that's why I stuck around another day. 469 00:16:47,618 --> 00:16:48,734 You know, I just wanna make sure 470 00:16:48,736 --> 00:16:50,932 that you're being... careful. 471 00:16:52,773 --> 00:16:54,306 Uh, what do you mean? 472 00:16:54,308 --> 00:16:57,380 I know about your branch's history with unionizing. 473 00:16:57,978 --> 00:16:59,478 Mm-hmm. 474 00:16:59,480 --> 00:17:00,530 And in my experience, 475 00:17:00,531 --> 00:17:02,114 These things never go away. 476 00:17:02,116 --> 00:17:03,649 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 477 00:17:03,911 --> 00:17:06,051 I mean, I'm not saying that you're caught up 478 00:17:06,078 --> 00:17:07,086 in all of this, 479 00:17:07,088 --> 00:17:08,287 but if corporate even thinks 480 00:17:08,289 --> 00:17:09,555 that you're helping the union, 481 00:17:09,557 --> 00:17:11,349 you will be throwing away your future with them. 482 00:17:12,159 --> 00:17:15,060 - My... my future with corporate? - Yes, girl. 483 00:17:15,062 --> 00:17:17,963 You are bright. Your numbers are great. 484 00:17:17,965 --> 00:17:19,898 Chicago could really use somebody like you. 485 00:17:19,900 --> 00:17:24,169 Well, I don't know what to say. 486 00:17:24,613 --> 00:17:28,112 Protect your future, chica. You could be going places. 487 00:17:29,326 --> 00:17:30,676 Salud. 488 00:17:36,317 --> 00:17:40,119 Anytime one of you is tempted to steal this money, 489 00:17:40,542 --> 00:17:42,688 Mateo is gonna spray you in the face 490 00:17:42,690 --> 00:17:43,845 with that squirt bottle. 491 00:17:44,799 --> 00:17:46,492 Now, is it just water in there? 492 00:17:46,494 --> 00:17:49,294 For legal reasons, let's say yes. 493 00:17:49,635 --> 00:17:51,363 - This is messed up. - What's that? 494 00:17:51,365 --> 00:17:53,608 That's what I thought. 495 00:17:54,635 --> 00:17:55,879 I'm gonna check on Gerald, 496 00:17:55,930 --> 00:17:57,297 see if he's done crying in the men's room. 497 00:17:57,372 --> 00:17:58,805 In the meantime, Mateo, 498 00:17:59,219 --> 00:18:00,772 don't be stingy with the squirts. 499 00:18:02,550 --> 00:18:04,583 Don't worry. I'm not gonna squirt anyone. 500 00:18:04,645 --> 00:18:06,678 I know you're not gonna steal the money. 501 00:18:06,680 --> 00:18:09,982 We should steal it, at least get my 200 bucks back. 502 00:18:09,984 --> 00:18:11,550 - What 200? - The fee for this 503 00:18:11,552 --> 00:18:13,185 ridiculous class. 504 00:18:13,187 --> 00:18:15,287 Wait, Cloud 9 is charging you to take this? 505 00:18:15,289 --> 00:18:16,622 - Yeah. - Mm-hmm. 506 00:18:16,624 --> 00:18:18,223 So the company won't file 507 00:18:18,225 --> 00:18:20,893 a police report so long as you pay $200? 508 00:18:20,895 --> 00:18:22,461 These people, they're evil. 509 00:18:22,845 --> 00:18:24,756 Oh, trust me. You have no idea. 510 00:18:28,831 --> 00:18:31,229 Jen went home sick, so I'm putting you on deli. 511 00:18:31,268 --> 00:18:32,634 But don't eat that ham, 512 00:18:32,703 --> 00:18:34,282 'cause that's what made Jen sick. 513 00:18:34,515 --> 00:18:35,527 Okay. 514 00:18:36,820 --> 00:18:38,353 Oh, thank God. 515 00:18:39,843 --> 00:18:40,912 Oh. 516 00:18:42,513 --> 00:18:44,541 Alex, could you... thank you. 517 00:18:44,588 --> 00:18:45,820 And get out. 518 00:18:45,916 --> 00:18:47,738 So how'd it go? 519 00:18:47,771 --> 00:18:50,786 Oddly, really well. Guess I'm still the manager. 520 00:18:50,788 --> 00:18:52,087 Yeah, great. 521 00:18:52,229 --> 00:18:54,196 See, I knew you'd be okay. 522 00:18:54,358 --> 00:18:55,606 - You sure did. - Yeah. 523 00:18:57,941 --> 00:19:01,196 Hey, you guys. I'm sorry, Bo. 524 00:19:01,198 --> 00:19:03,031 It turns out, I'm not the manager. 525 00:19:03,033 --> 00:19:06,177 - So you're not hired. - Whoa, this is not okay. 526 00:19:06,630 --> 00:19:07,996 Look at this thing. 527 00:19:08,037 --> 00:19:10,771 This display's my masterpiece right here. 528 00:19:10,874 --> 00:19:13,364 If I'm not staying here, neither are my turtles. 529 00:19:13,610 --> 00:19:15,978 Turt-turt, we're out of here. 530 00:19:15,980 --> 00:19:17,379 Oh... 531 00:19:17,381 --> 00:19:19,916 I mean, I guess that's only fair. 532 00:19:20,384 --> 00:19:22,058 Well, it's Amy's problem now. 533 00:19:23,220 --> 00:19:24,850 I've got the bucket of wet socks. 534 00:19:26,004 --> 00:19:27,389 Where is everyone? 535 00:19:27,391 --> 00:19:29,189 On one of their precious bathroom breaks? 536 00:19:29,266 --> 00:19:30,699 I let them go. 537 00:19:31,940 --> 00:19:32,969 You what? 538 00:19:33,022 --> 00:19:34,129 I just couldn't stand the fact 539 00:19:34,130 --> 00:19:35,930 that this company was extorting these people 540 00:19:35,932 --> 00:19:37,198 out of their hard-earned money. 541 00:19:37,200 --> 00:19:38,397 - It wasn't right. - Huh. 542 00:19:40,542 --> 00:19:41,585 Wait. 543 00:19:42,122 --> 00:19:43,971 Did you take their money instead? 544 00:19:44,410 --> 00:19:45,870 Well, it had to go somewhere. 545 00:19:45,945 --> 00:19:47,044 Uh-huh. 546 00:19:47,213 --> 00:19:48,585 Half to me for a new security camera, 547 00:19:48,618 --> 00:19:49,933 and I look the other way. 548 00:19:50,817 --> 00:19:52,016 A third. 549 00:19:54,053 --> 00:19:55,286 Your hand is like velvet. 550 00:19:55,288 --> 00:19:57,475 - I sleep with gloves on. - Hmm. 551 00:19:57,676 --> 00:19:59,660 And then she said she thought I was smart and capable, 552 00:19:59,661 --> 00:20:00,748 which, duh. 553 00:20:00,822 --> 00:20:03,074 And I mean, I know this is silly, 554 00:20:03,221 --> 00:20:05,087 but she even mentioned something like... 555 00:20:05,089 --> 00:20:07,990 I don't know... someone like me had a future at corporate. 556 00:20:07,992 --> 00:20:09,125 Wow. 557 00:20:09,127 --> 00:20:11,160 Sounds like corporate's really pulling out all the stops. 558 00:20:11,162 --> 00:20:12,495 Taking you to lunch, 559 00:20:12,497 --> 00:20:13,934 trying to buy your allegiance 560 00:20:13,935 --> 00:20:15,902 with some bogus career opportunity... 561 00:20:15,904 --> 00:20:17,504 It's the same crap they pulled with Jeff. 562 00:20:17,773 --> 00:20:20,264 Well, I mean, I don't know that it was a ploy. 563 00:20:20,265 --> 00:20:21,342 I mean, is it so hard to believe 564 00:20:21,343 --> 00:20:22,778 she just thinks I'm a good manager? 565 00:20:22,779 --> 00:20:24,669 No, no. You're obviously a great manager. 566 00:20:24,683 --> 00:20:27,582 It's just there's always an agenda with these people. 567 00:20:27,901 --> 00:20:30,435 Anyway, it's not like you're truly considering going off 568 00:20:30,437 --> 00:20:32,170 to be an executive at Cloud 9. 569 00:20:32,172 --> 00:20:33,845 Ha. Yeah. 570 00:20:33,873 --> 00:20:37,675 I mean, could you imagine... me going off to the dark side? 571 00:20:40,380 --> 00:20:43,107 Why are there pictures of Jerusha in my office? 572 00:20:44,719 --> 00:20:47,820 Sandra, relax. This is gonna be a fun little road trip. 573 00:20:48,055 --> 00:20:50,455 I'm telling you, it's the fantasy wedding venue. 574 00:20:50,457 --> 00:20:52,030 Uh-huh. Yeah, it's just... 575 00:20:52,031 --> 00:20:53,603 I'm curious what other people think, 576 00:20:53,630 --> 00:20:55,129 so maybe Marcus could join us? 577 00:20:55,131 --> 00:20:56,297 There's no time. 578 00:20:56,299 --> 00:20:57,965 We want to get there before sunset. 579 00:20:57,967 --> 00:20:59,252 God, you're gonna love it... 580 00:20:59,253 --> 00:21:02,152 Beautiful cliffside view. It's super remote. 581 00:21:02,316 --> 00:21:04,316 I mean no one for miles. 582 00:21:04,851 --> 00:21:06,851 You've got... Sandra! 583 00:21:07,071 --> 00:21:09,071 She kidnapped me! Get the cops. 584 00:21:09,558 --> 00:21:11,558 Synced and corrected by hawken45 for www.addic7ed.com