1
00:00:00,560 --> 00:00:01,627
I oversold it, didn't I?
2
00:00:01,953 --> 00:00:03,574
I always do that.
I should have just said,
3
00:00:03,576 --> 00:00:04,987
"It's a good show.
Maybe you'll like it."
4
00:00:04,987 --> 00:00:06,272
It just made me uncomfortable.
5
00:00:06,274 --> 00:00:07,821
I already have enough trouble
as a working mom.
6
00:00:07,823 --> 00:00:10,418
I don't need to feel bad
that I'm not also a KGB agent.
7
00:00:10,705 --> 00:00:13,134
Tell me again that Maya
didn't see the union cards.
8
00:00:13,135 --> 00:00:14,773
She's the district manager.
9
00:00:14,775 --> 00:00:15,786
If she had seen them,
10
00:00:15,787 --> 00:00:17,276
she would have said something.
11
00:00:17,278 --> 00:00:19,111
Besides, you know, even if she did,
12
00:00:19,113 --> 00:00:20,339
it's too late now.
13
00:00:20,339 --> 00:00:23,415
The union train has left
the station, baby!
14
00:00:23,417 --> 00:00:25,551
A, that's just too much for 8:00 a.m.,
15
00:00:25,553 --> 00:00:28,254
and B, it's not too late
for her to fire me.
16
00:00:28,256 --> 00:00:29,955
Nobody's getting fired.
Get out of your head.
17
00:00:29,957 --> 00:00:31,724
You just have to co...
18
00:00:31,726 --> 00:00:33,225
Maya!
19
00:00:33,227 --> 00:00:35,828
- Hey, Maya's here.
- Yeah.
20
00:00:35,830 --> 00:00:37,396
Hey, guys, sorry
to give you a scare there.
21
00:00:37,398 --> 00:00:38,998
Halloween was yesterday, Maya.
22
00:00:39,000 --> 00:00:40,966
Ha. Yeah, it was.
23
00:00:40,968 --> 00:00:43,102
Um, so what's up?
24
00:00:43,104 --> 00:00:45,037
Well, I was planning my schedule,
25
00:00:45,039 --> 00:00:46,272
and I thought instead of heading up
26
00:00:46,274 --> 00:00:48,007
to the boring Quincy branch,
27
00:00:48,009 --> 00:00:49,675
that maybe I'd spend another day here.
28
00:00:49,677 --> 00:00:52,311
So I commandeered
a corner of your desk here.
29
00:00:52,313 --> 00:00:55,361
- I hope you don't mind.
- No, please, commandeer away.
30
00:00:55,362 --> 00:00:56,549
Great, thanks. Also, did you know
31
00:00:56,551 --> 00:00:58,450
that your pug-a-day
calendar is a week ahead?
32
00:00:58,452 --> 00:01:01,239
Yeah, I get curious.
33
00:01:08,196 --> 00:01:09,862
I t that this doesn't look great,
34
00:01:09,864 --> 00:01:12,190
but maybe it's as
innocent as it sounds.
35
00:01:12,191 --> 00:01:13,332
Yeah, sure.
36
00:01:13,334 --> 00:01:15,100
She just happened to
extend her stay here
37
00:01:15,102 --> 00:01:16,769
the day after we turned in the cards,
38
00:01:16,771 --> 00:01:18,370
because she didn't wanna go to Quincy.
39
00:01:18,372 --> 00:01:20,539
Come on. That store used to be a bank.
40
00:01:20,541 --> 00:01:21,707
It has a skylight.
41
00:01:21,709 --> 00:01:24,910
I took Jerusha and Rose
there for her birthday.
42
00:01:24,912 --> 00:01:26,478
Quincy is a showstopper.
43
00:01:26,480 --> 00:01:27,611
Nobody's arguing that.
44
00:01:27,612 --> 00:01:29,248
I'm just saying,
Maya seems pretty chill.
45
00:01:29,250 --> 00:01:31,311
You know, she's not like a typical DM.
46
00:01:31,312 --> 00:01:33,852
Actually, sometimes,
it's the friendliest DMs
47
00:01:33,854 --> 00:01:35,821
who are secretly the harshest.
48
00:01:35,823 --> 00:01:38,023
Like, you remember Marty
over at Crestwood?
49
00:01:38,025 --> 00:01:40,593
One day, he's out playing
squash with his DM.
50
00:01:40,595 --> 00:01:41,927
The next day, he's fired
51
00:01:41,929 --> 00:01:43,662
and the DM marries his daughter.
52
00:01:43,664 --> 00:01:44,797
Really?
53
00:01:44,799 --> 00:01:46,982
Well, the actual wedding
wasn't the next day,
54
00:01:46,983 --> 00:01:48,367
but it makes a better story.
55
00:01:48,369 --> 00:01:50,903
Okay, well, Maya can't
fire you for union stuff.
56
00:01:50,905 --> 00:01:52,484
Well, maybe that's why she's here.
57
00:01:52,485 --> 00:01:54,407
She's sticking around until
she finds something else
58
00:01:54,408 --> 00:01:56,842
- she can fire me for.
- Like what? Your numbers are good.
59
00:01:56,844 --> 00:01:58,214
You don't do drugs. You don't steal.
60
00:01:58,215 --> 00:02:00,446
Well, I've seen you pocket
Splenda packets in the café,
61
00:02:00,448 --> 00:02:01,782
but we're talking,
what, like, a handful?
62
00:02:02,231 --> 00:02:03,497
It's in the hundreds.
63
00:02:03,498 --> 00:02:06,497
Don't worry. You are a great manager,
64
00:02:06,499 --> 00:02:08,432
and Maya's gonna see that, you know,
65
00:02:08,434 --> 00:02:09,991
as long as we have one of our good days
66
00:02:09,992 --> 00:02:11,958
in the store, which we've been having
67
00:02:11,960 --> 00:02:13,026
a few of lately.
68
00:02:13,028 --> 00:02:15,567
Thank you, Glenn.
I know you thought that was helpful.
69
00:02:16,365 --> 00:02:17,931
Free eye exams!
70
00:02:17,933 --> 00:02:20,300
See your partner
better, learn the truth!
71
00:02:20,302 --> 00:02:21,935
Hey, you busy?
72
00:02:24,836 --> 00:02:26,104
I'm sorry, I don't know what that was.
73
00:02:26,105 --> 00:02:27,314
Are you finishing a magic trick?
74
00:02:27,315 --> 00:02:29,075
No, I'm just saying
there's no one here.
75
00:02:29,076 --> 00:02:30,988
You were doing a magic
trick for no one?
76
00:02:30,989 --> 00:02:33,156
There's no magic trick!
Okay, what do you want?
77
00:02:33,158 --> 00:02:35,292
I need someone to help me run
my shoplifter rehab course.
78
00:02:35,567 --> 00:02:36,766
Eddy's usually my assistant,
79
00:02:36,768 --> 00:02:38,199
but ironically, he got arrested.
80
00:02:38,200 --> 00:02:39,632
Oh, I'd be good with shoplifters
81
00:02:39,634 --> 00:02:41,801
because I'm some sort
of criminal to you, huh?
82
00:02:41,803 --> 00:02:43,436
Just because I have an ankle monitor,
83
00:02:43,438 --> 00:02:45,405
suddenly, I'm, like,
the cutest boy in the Crips?
84
00:02:45,407 --> 00:02:47,073
Actually, there's a lot
of yelling involved,
85
00:02:47,075 --> 00:02:48,442
and I thought you'd be
interested in that.
86
00:02:49,289 --> 00:02:50,877
Yeah, that sounds fun. I'm in.
87
00:02:50,885 --> 00:02:53,519
Amy and I combined
Spotify accounts last night.
88
00:02:53,921 --> 00:02:55,548
It just felt like time, you know?
89
00:02:55,550 --> 00:02:57,016
Wow, big step.
90
00:02:57,018 --> 00:02:58,318
I'm surprised you weren't worried about
91
00:02:58,319 --> 00:03:00,520
ruining your personalized
recommendations.
92
00:03:00,522 --> 00:03:02,088
Oh, good God.
93
00:03:02,090 --> 00:03:05,191
Hey, what do you think of these?
94
00:03:05,193 --> 00:03:08,695
I think those are candles
with anchors on them.
95
00:03:08,697 --> 00:03:10,363
Thanks, I like 'em too.
96
00:03:10,365 --> 00:03:12,131
Jerry wants our wedding
to have a nautical theme
97
00:03:12,133 --> 00:03:13,333
since he was born on a tugboat.
98
00:03:13,335 --> 00:03:15,001
Well, a boat does have an anchor,
99
00:03:15,003 --> 00:03:16,336
so you nailed it.
100
00:03:16,338 --> 00:03:17,904
Okay, these are the last ones
101
00:03:17,906 --> 00:03:20,039
I could find in the back.
102
00:03:20,041 --> 00:03:24,210
Oh, so Carol's helping you out?
103
00:03:24,212 --> 00:03:27,146
Sandra and I are committed
to repairing our friendship.
104
00:03:27,148 --> 00:03:29,882
Bricks on the back are lighter
than pebbles in the soul,
105
00:03:29,884 --> 00:03:30,967
right, Sandra?
106
00:03:31,853 --> 00:03:34,287
So much lighter.
107
00:03:34,289 --> 00:03:36,956
Okay, I'm gonna go see
if I can find a captain's hat
108
00:03:36,958 --> 00:03:39,959
that will fit Jerry's big ol' melon.
109
00:03:41,630 --> 00:03:43,563
Are you sure you're okay?
110
00:03:43,565 --> 00:03:44,697
Totally.
111
00:03:44,699 --> 00:03:45,965
And so you know,
112
00:03:45,967 --> 00:03:47,066
I'll be here for the next hour
113
00:03:47,068 --> 00:03:48,635
and then I'll be in grocery,
114
00:03:48,637 --> 00:03:50,770
just in case you wanna say hi later
115
00:03:50,772 --> 00:03:52,672
and make sure something's not wrong.
116
00:03:53,875 --> 00:03:55,670
Not that it would be.
117
00:03:55,930 --> 00:03:57,644
But here and then grocery.
118
00:04:00,417 --> 00:04:02,239
Oh, it looks like
you swapped out those scanners
119
00:04:02,240 --> 00:04:04,674
- that were causing hand cancer.
- Yes.
120
00:04:04,676 --> 00:04:08,211
Uh, no disciplinary write-ups
in the last quarter.
121
00:04:08,213 --> 00:04:11,148
- Yeah. No... no... no need.
- Good.
122
00:04:11,188 --> 00:04:13,616
I don't know where your
nice flip-flops are, Bo.
123
00:04:13,618 --> 00:04:14,951
Just wear anything.
124
00:04:15,352 --> 00:04:17,019
- Excuse me just one second.
- Uh-huh.
125
00:04:17,430 --> 00:04:19,564
Cheyenne, you know
we're not supposed to be
126
00:04:19,566 --> 00:04:22,122
on personal phone calls on the floor.
127
00:04:22,123 --> 00:04:23,568
Just one second.
128
00:04:23,570 --> 00:04:24,869
You can't just blow it off.
129
00:04:24,871 --> 00:04:25,926
You have to get here.
130
00:04:25,959 --> 00:04:28,092
Take a bath with the dogs later.
131
00:04:28,274 --> 00:04:30,268
My husband's being
such a b-munch right now.
132
00:04:30,269 --> 00:04:32,836
Okay, well, just because
he's being a b-munch,
133
00:04:32,838 --> 00:04:34,438
doesn't mean that's
a good enough reason
134
00:04:34,440 --> 00:04:35,706
to not be working.
135
00:04:35,708 --> 00:04:37,374
Totally. Bye, Bo.
136
00:04:37,376 --> 00:04:39,143
Honestly, this never happens.
137
00:04:39,145 --> 00:04:40,778
Well, it's hard to police phone stuff.
138
00:04:40,780 --> 00:04:42,379
Well, not for me, it isn't.
139
00:04:42,381 --> 00:04:45,516
Attention employees. Uh, listen up.
140
00:04:45,518 --> 00:04:48,752
Just a reminder that this couch
here is not a mobile hot spot.
141
00:04:48,754 --> 00:04:50,754
No cell phones, per usual.
142
00:04:51,151 --> 00:04:52,669
Don't know why I have to say it again.
143
00:04:52,670 --> 00:04:54,366
Can whoever is talking keep it down?
144
00:04:54,367 --> 00:04:55,833
We're trying to watch news anchor fails
145
00:04:55,835 --> 00:04:58,001
and the sound quality's
full "garbagio."
146
00:04:59,672 --> 00:05:01,605
She did put her phone away.
147
00:05:01,607 --> 00:05:03,107
Listen up, scrodes.
148
00:05:03,109 --> 00:05:05,476
My name is Dina Fox,
and my goal here today is
149
00:05:05,478 --> 00:05:07,978
to cure you lowlife scum
of your criminal tendencies
150
00:05:07,980 --> 00:05:10,381
and transform you
into upstanding citizens.
151
00:05:10,383 --> 00:05:12,383
If that's even possible.
152
00:05:12,385 --> 00:05:14,451
Ah! Sorry I'm late.
153
00:05:14,453 --> 00:05:16,687
Oh, I thought I saw a manatee
on the side of the road.
154
00:05:16,689 --> 00:05:17,851
Hoo-hoo.
155
00:05:17,852 --> 00:05:19,313
Turns out, it was just
a gray sweatshirt.
156
00:05:19,406 --> 00:05:22,208
Oh, but that sweatshirt was huge!
157
00:05:22,209 --> 00:05:24,297
Okay, just sit down, Bo. Thank you.
158
00:05:24,966 --> 00:05:27,326
All right, if you pass this course,
159
00:05:27,328 --> 00:05:29,538
The store will not be
pressing criminal charges.
160
00:05:29,539 --> 00:05:32,773
If you fail, your crimes will
be reported to the fuzz.
161
00:05:32,775 --> 00:05:33,852
Right, Mateo?
162
00:05:33,853 --> 00:05:35,119
I've got the local police station
163
00:05:35,121 --> 00:05:36,520
right here in my contacts.
164
00:05:36,801 --> 00:05:39,135
- Isn't it just 911?
- Silence, scrode!
165
00:05:39,179 --> 00:05:42,159
Oh, dang, dude got roasted!
166
00:05:42,161 --> 00:05:43,761
Okay, first things first.
167
00:05:43,763 --> 00:05:45,062
I want you all to take out
168
00:05:45,064 --> 00:05:46,764
your corporate-approved workbooks
169
00:05:47,451 --> 00:05:48,899
and just rip them up.
170
00:05:48,901 --> 00:05:50,334
Go ahead. We're gonna do things
171
00:05:50,336 --> 00:05:51,815
a little bit differently here today.
172
00:05:52,405 --> 00:05:53,871
That's it, go on.
173
00:05:53,873 --> 00:05:55,639
Yeah. Ha-ha.
174
00:05:56,197 --> 00:05:57,207
All right.
175
00:05:57,209 --> 00:06:00,790
Anyone who ripped up
their workbook has failed.
176
00:06:00,916 --> 00:06:02,512
You just destroyed company property.
177
00:06:02,513 --> 00:06:04,848
- Get out!
- Aw, man.
178
00:06:04,850 --> 00:06:06,483
That's the third time
I've fell for this.
179
00:06:08,301 --> 00:06:09,934
"Attention employees,
180
00:06:09,936 --> 00:06:11,571
please gather in the break room
181
00:06:11,572 --> 00:06:16,075
for our regularly-scheduled
refresher on store rules."
182
00:06:16,077 --> 00:06:18,577
I'm emphasizing "regularly-scheduled"
183
00:06:18,579 --> 00:06:20,179
because it's underlined twice
184
00:06:20,181 --> 00:06:22,477
on this piece of paper
Amy just handed me.
185
00:06:23,084 --> 00:06:24,984
Okay, no phones on the floor,
186
00:06:24,986 --> 00:06:27,052
Laptops are for customers.
187
00:06:27,054 --> 00:06:30,055
If there's time to lean,
there's time to...
188
00:06:30,057 --> 00:06:31,824
Oh, I know, dream.
189
00:06:31,826 --> 00:06:33,092
No, not dream.
190
00:06:33,094 --> 00:06:35,261
- Lean.
- I just said lean.
191
00:06:35,263 --> 00:06:37,796
Oh, come on, guys.
You know she means clean,
192
00:06:37,798 --> 00:06:39,398
which most of us are already doing
193
00:06:39,400 --> 00:06:40,978
in our downtime anyway.
194
00:06:40,979 --> 00:06:42,301
Yep, that's right.
195
00:06:42,302 --> 00:06:43,856
'Cause we know if we ever stopped
196
00:06:43,858 --> 00:06:45,191
working our tails off,
197
00:06:45,193 --> 00:06:47,393
Amy will swoop in to smack us around.
198
00:06:47,395 --> 00:06:49,829
Well, not quite smack us around,
199
00:06:49,831 --> 00:06:51,058
but write us up.
200
00:06:51,059 --> 00:06:53,293
Yeah, no, I don't hit my employees.
201
00:06:53,295 --> 00:06:55,695
- I figured that.
- Okay.
202
00:06:56,138 --> 00:06:59,032
Next rule, always clock in on time.
203
00:06:59,034 --> 00:07:00,734
What if on your way
to work, you see a plane crash
204
00:07:00,735 --> 00:07:02,035
and need to stop to pull passengers
205
00:07:02,037 --> 00:07:03,169
from the wreckage?
206
00:07:03,171 --> 00:07:05,672
Um, if on your way in,
207
00:07:05,674 --> 00:07:09,142
you see a plane crash,
then you can be late.
208
00:07:09,144 --> 00:07:11,711
Oh, but what about a train crash?
209
00:07:11,713 --> 00:07:14,018
Um, any of the crashes.
210
00:07:14,024 --> 00:07:15,000
All right, we're moving on.
211
00:07:15,001 --> 00:07:16,433
Well, what if it's a fender bender
212
00:07:16,435 --> 00:07:17,681
where someone could have been hurt?
213
00:07:17,682 --> 00:07:18,981
Okay, Marcus, I'm sure they're fine.
214
00:07:18,983 --> 00:07:20,483
We should probably keep going.
215
00:07:20,517 --> 00:07:21,517
But what if they're not?
216
00:07:21,519 --> 00:07:22,941
What if they have a baby in the back
217
00:07:22,942 --> 00:07:24,779
and it's, like, loose
and it's rolling around
218
00:07:24,809 --> 00:07:26,110
like a volleyball?
All right, that's it.
219
00:07:26,111 --> 00:07:27,744
I'm writing you up for insubordination.
220
00:07:27,746 --> 00:07:30,277
I get written up for that,
but Russell can smoke pot
221
00:07:30,331 --> 00:07:31,364
in the garden center?
222
00:07:31,366 --> 00:07:32,516
What?
223
00:07:32,517 --> 00:07:35,064
Well, I didn't know that was happening,
224
00:07:35,104 --> 00:07:38,038
so now that I do,
I'm gonna right him up.
225
00:07:38,040 --> 00:07:39,418
Hey, thanks, dick.
226
00:07:39,419 --> 00:07:40,820
This is why you weren't
invited to bowling.
227
00:07:40,821 --> 00:07:43,432
I knew you guys were bowling!
I knew it!
228
00:07:43,625 --> 00:07:45,990
And you looked me in my eyes,
and you told me it was a myth.
229
00:07:45,992 --> 00:07:47,259
Yeah, what are you gonna do about it?
230
00:07:47,260 --> 00:07:48,392
Oh, come at me, bro.
231
00:07:48,394 --> 00:07:50,027
Jonah, get my back.
232
00:07:50,029 --> 00:07:51,329
I'm not gonna do that.
233
00:07:52,599 --> 00:07:54,365
Hey, hey, hey! No, no, no, no!
234
00:07:56,169 --> 00:07:57,468
- Horseman!
- Russell!
235
00:07:57,470 --> 00:07:58,870
"Horseman," that's the cue!
236
00:08:02,402 --> 00:08:04,736
Well, Maya reported the fight to HR.
237
00:08:05,149 --> 00:08:06,475
She said it wasn't a big deal,
238
00:08:06,476 --> 00:08:08,376
but she couldn't even look me
in the eye when she said it,
239
00:08:08,377 --> 00:08:10,778
which I have a teenager
daughter, I know what that means.
240
00:08:10,780 --> 00:08:11,812
It's not even your fault.
241
00:08:11,814 --> 00:08:13,847
It's not like you're the one
who slammed Russell on the table.
242
00:08:13,848 --> 00:08:15,357
If anything, you broke the fight up
243
00:08:15,394 --> 00:08:16,560
by pouring oat milk on 'em.
244
00:08:16,562 --> 00:08:17,961
It was weird but effective.
245
00:08:17,963 --> 00:08:19,129
It doesn't even matter.
246
00:08:19,131 --> 00:08:20,430
At this point, it just looks like
247
00:08:20,432 --> 00:08:22,499
I have zero control over my employees.
248
00:08:22,760 --> 00:08:24,526
Oh, it'll be fine.
249
00:08:24,614 --> 00:08:26,827
You just need to find
a way to show Maya
250
00:08:26,828 --> 00:08:28,428
that you mean business.
251
00:08:28,724 --> 00:08:30,812
It's too bad you can't
just fire someone, though.
252
00:08:30,813 --> 00:08:34,147
Yeah. But maybe I could.
253
00:08:34,149 --> 00:08:36,383
Wait, are you talking about me?
254
00:08:36,385 --> 00:08:39,001
Fine, Amy, you can't fire me. I quit.
255
00:08:39,341 --> 00:08:41,681
Glenn, calm down.
I'm gonna fire anyone.
256
00:08:41,708 --> 00:08:43,808
I'm just saying,
maybe I can make it look
257
00:08:43,810 --> 00:08:45,476
like I'm firing someone.
258
00:08:45,478 --> 00:08:46,732
You know, it's just not fair.
259
00:08:46,733 --> 00:08:48,796
Dina's using, like,
hypnosis or some crap.
260
00:08:48,923 --> 00:08:51,427
You gotta stop blaming
all your problems on hypnosis.
261
00:08:52,092 --> 00:08:53,157
Hello there.
262
00:08:53,158 --> 00:08:55,594
I'd like to buy these apples, please.
263
00:08:55,596 --> 00:08:57,875
No problem. That'll be 50 cents.
264
00:08:58,097 --> 00:09:01,432
But apples usually cost 40 cents.
265
00:09:01,535 --> 00:09:03,191
I don't understand.
266
00:09:03,263 --> 00:09:04,629
Cloud 9 had to raise the price
267
00:09:04,772 --> 00:09:06,939
due to all the people stealing them.
268
00:09:06,941 --> 00:09:08,540
But I never stole.
269
00:09:08,542 --> 00:09:11,376
Now my children shall
go hungry tonight.
270
00:09:11,378 --> 00:09:13,912
And scene.
271
00:09:18,485 --> 00:09:20,118
You think we can get a bathroom break?
272
00:09:20,120 --> 00:09:21,653
It's been two hours of this.
273
00:09:21,655 --> 00:09:23,102
Oh, you need to use the restroom?
274
00:09:23,103 --> 00:09:25,340
Why, so you can steal
a quart of our pink soap?
275
00:09:25,394 --> 00:09:27,561
You think I don't know how much
that stuff goes for on the street?
276
00:09:27,562 --> 00:09:28,672
Absolutely not.
277
00:09:28,673 --> 00:09:30,107
All right, Mateo,
could you play Dock Worker
278
00:09:30,108 --> 00:09:31,308
number one in this next series?
279
00:09:31,405 --> 00:09:33,542
Yep. No, wait.
280
00:09:33,544 --> 00:09:35,402
Yep. Yep.
281
00:09:35,403 --> 00:09:36,410
I'll find it.
282
00:09:36,447 --> 00:09:37,803
Okay, so what's in it for me?
283
00:09:38,124 --> 00:09:39,639
Well, I mean, if you help me out
284
00:09:39,640 --> 00:09:42,515
and all goes well,
I'll... I'll make sure
285
00:09:42,549 --> 00:09:44,449
Dina passes you
in the shoplifter class.
286
00:09:46,320 --> 00:09:47,953
- A'ight, I'm in.
- Okay, great.
287
00:09:47,955 --> 00:09:50,789
So you just slack off,
and then I'll come find you
288
00:09:50,791 --> 00:09:53,224
and say, "Where's that
Turtle Wax endcap"
289
00:09:53,226 --> 00:09:55,460
I told you to put up?
This is your third strike."
290
00:09:55,462 --> 00:09:57,462
And I'll fire you in front of Maya.
291
00:09:57,464 --> 00:09:59,089
- Oh.
- Okay, here's your vest.
292
00:09:59,733 --> 00:10:01,633
What? "Dave"?
293
00:10:01,635 --> 00:10:05,503
I wanna be Puma,
raised in the jungles of Peru,
294
00:10:05,505 --> 00:10:07,305
but his parents snuck him into America
295
00:10:07,307 --> 00:10:08,940
on an atomic submarine.
296
00:10:08,942 --> 00:10:11,182
- Oh, does he ever go back?
- Okay, so...
297
00:10:11,216 --> 00:10:12,644
Okay, I don't have time for this.
298
00:10:12,646 --> 00:10:14,412
Somebody put Skittles
in the Coinstar machine.
299
00:10:14,414 --> 00:10:16,267
I have to fix it before Maya sees.
300
00:10:17,084 --> 00:10:18,483
Okay, back to work.
301
00:10:18,485 --> 00:10:20,018
Check it out. What's up?
302
00:10:20,020 --> 00:10:21,252
I'm an employee right now.
303
00:10:21,254 --> 00:10:22,520
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
304
00:10:22,522 --> 00:10:25,290
Uh, excuse me. Attention, everybody.
305
00:10:25,292 --> 00:10:28,193
Green beans are now $1 million, so...
306
00:10:28,195 --> 00:10:30,362
Okay, Bo, stop. All right?
307
00:10:30,364 --> 00:10:32,497
You need to take this seriously.
308
00:10:32,499 --> 00:10:34,366
I can't keep bailing you out of jail.
309
00:10:34,368 --> 00:10:36,201
We have, like, no money.
310
00:10:36,572 --> 00:10:38,503
Fine, okay.
311
00:10:38,893 --> 00:10:42,674
Green beans are now the normal price.
312
00:10:43,484 --> 00:10:44,757
- That was good.
- Yeah.
313
00:10:45,766 --> 00:10:46,886
Mmm.
314
00:10:48,553 --> 00:10:51,330
I like this one, but I don't
think we can do Funfetti.
315
00:10:51,331 --> 00:10:53,164
Jerry's family is very conservative.
316
00:10:53,166 --> 00:10:55,666
Wait, there's one more
I want you to try.
317
00:10:55,668 --> 00:10:57,301
It's homemade.
318
00:10:57,303 --> 00:11:00,471
- Oh, you... you made that?
- Yeah, just for you.
319
00:11:00,473 --> 00:11:02,273
It's got a secret ingredient.
320
00:11:02,275 --> 00:11:03,474
Ooh.
321
00:11:03,476 --> 00:11:05,009
- Oh.
- Come on, open up.
322
00:11:05,011 --> 00:11:06,144
Okay.
323
00:11:09,349 --> 00:11:11,983
Mmm.
324
00:11:11,985 --> 00:11:14,118
So good.
325
00:11:14,120 --> 00:11:17,789
- And now we wait.
- For what?
326
00:11:17,791 --> 00:11:19,991
- For your wedding.
- Oh.
327
00:11:24,216 --> 00:11:26,016
Um, hey, Dave.
328
00:11:26,132 --> 00:11:27,605
Oh, what up, Amy?
329
00:11:27,606 --> 00:11:30,993
What up, Dave, is that
I asked you hours ago
330
00:11:30,994 --> 00:11:33,859
to assemble the Turtle Wax
endcap, and it's still not done.
331
00:11:33,860 --> 00:11:35,192
Oh, actually, I was gonna tell you...
332
00:11:35,194 --> 00:11:36,960
No, I don't wanna hear
any of your excuses.
333
00:11:36,962 --> 00:11:39,418
You know what?
This is your third strike this month.
334
00:11:39,602 --> 00:11:40,985
I made up my mind.
335
00:11:41,026 --> 00:11:42,355
I'm gonna have to let you go.
336
00:11:42,357 --> 00:11:44,691
I'm so sorry you have
to witness this, Maya.
337
00:11:44,693 --> 00:11:46,426
No, please, these are your employees.
338
00:11:46,428 --> 00:11:49,062
Yeah, I was gonna say
I did that endcap a while ago.
339
00:11:49,064 --> 00:11:50,663
I set it up in the breezeway, you know,
340
00:11:50,665 --> 00:11:52,398
more foot traffic and et ceteras.
341
00:11:53,462 --> 00:11:56,263
Wow, um... uh... wow.
342
00:11:56,351 --> 00:11:58,017
I'm... I'm just stunned,
343
00:11:58,073 --> 00:12:01,538
because this is isn't what
we agreed upon, Dave.
344
00:12:01,596 --> 00:12:04,932
Yeah, well, I was thinking
about something Cheyenne said,
345
00:12:04,946 --> 00:12:06,946
and I figured, like,
if I did a really good job,
346
00:12:06,948 --> 00:12:08,915
then it wouldn't really
make sense to fire me,
347
00:12:08,917 --> 00:12:10,984
because that would be,
like, bad management.
348
00:12:11,031 --> 00:12:12,320
Know what I'm saying?
349
00:12:12,366 --> 00:12:14,400
So, uh, guess I still work here.
350
00:12:14,429 --> 00:12:15,895
Maybe I can pick up a few extra shifts.
351
00:12:16,024 --> 00:12:17,284
No. No, no, no.
352
00:12:17,319 --> 00:12:19,319
I already said that you're fired.
353
00:12:19,407 --> 00:12:21,841
And... and... and what I say goes,
354
00:12:21,876 --> 00:12:23,442
and I'm a... I'm a woman of my word.
355
00:12:23,464 --> 00:12:26,465
So... so all of those
things put together
356
00:12:26,601 --> 00:12:27,700
means you're fired.
357
00:12:27,702 --> 00:12:29,113
Aw, man.
358
00:12:29,124 --> 00:12:31,022
Cheyenne was right. I'm a screwup.
359
00:12:31,306 --> 00:12:33,464
I'm just a dumb, useless butt.
360
00:12:33,508 --> 00:12:35,141
- No, Dave, no.
- No, no, no.
361
00:12:35,276 --> 00:12:38,778
No, nobody is getting fired
today, all right?
362
00:12:38,914 --> 00:12:40,219
- Really?
- Yes.
363
00:12:42,984 --> 00:12:45,385
Amy, why don't you and I go have lunch?
364
00:12:48,256 --> 00:12:50,277
What's up? Dave's back, y'all.
365
00:12:51,726 --> 00:12:53,059
Heh-heh.
366
00:12:54,206 --> 00:12:57,591
She's taking me out to lunch.
She's gonna fire me, right?
367
00:12:57,741 --> 00:12:58,748
No.
368
00:12:58,761 --> 00:13:01,249
I mean, that is how they fired Marty,
369
00:13:01,289 --> 00:13:02,623
so he wouldn't have
some violent outburst
370
00:13:02,624 --> 00:13:03,656
in the store.
371
00:13:03,726 --> 00:13:05,158
But maybe Maya's got
372
00:13:05,220 --> 00:13:06,894
some really great news for you,
373
00:13:06,915 --> 00:13:09,783
and she's worried about you
having a positive outburst.
374
00:13:09,838 --> 00:13:11,504
Yeah, like, you know,
375
00:13:11,539 --> 00:13:13,083
"Oh, this news is so great,
376
00:13:13,108 --> 00:13:15,508
I wanna choke somebody out."
377
00:13:15,564 --> 00:13:18,732
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, I'm sure that's what it is.
378
00:13:23,412 --> 00:13:24,792
This is not good.
379
00:13:25,474 --> 00:13:26,518
So?
380
00:13:26,868 --> 00:13:28,601
Yeah, I think they're gonna fire her.
381
00:13:28,663 --> 00:13:30,820
Wow.
382
00:13:30,821 --> 00:13:32,521
So I guess you'll be manager again.
383
00:13:32,523 --> 00:13:33,688
What? No.
384
00:13:33,690 --> 00:13:35,590
I would never take Amy's job.
385
00:13:35,592 --> 00:13:37,359
Why not? You did it for years.
386
00:13:37,361 --> 00:13:38,700
Who else is gonna do it?
387
00:13:39,971 --> 00:13:42,030
I mean, I guess I got no choice.
388
00:13:42,032 --> 00:13:43,765
And the store needs a manager.
389
00:13:43,767 --> 00:13:47,102
And we need one, like, now.
This place is crazy.
390
00:13:47,104 --> 00:13:49,538
There was a fight earlier.
391
00:13:51,175 --> 00:13:53,675
This is perfect for the honeymoon.
392
00:13:53,677 --> 00:13:56,044
There's just so many holes.
393
00:13:56,046 --> 00:13:58,967
Oh, Sandra, our bodies are
vessels of beauty.
394
00:13:58,988 --> 00:14:00,588
Don't be ashamed.
395
00:14:00,590 --> 00:14:02,856
God, I can't wait to see Jerry's face
396
00:14:02,858 --> 00:14:04,358
when he sees this.
397
00:14:04,360 --> 00:14:05,657
Huh?
398
00:14:06,195 --> 00:14:08,596
I said, I can't wait
for you to see Jerry's face
399
00:14:08,598 --> 00:14:09,697
when he sees this.
400
00:14:13,769 --> 00:14:16,036
Attention, shoppers, please gather
401
00:14:16,038 --> 00:14:18,038
for a very special parade.
402
00:14:18,040 --> 00:14:19,707
That's right, it's the Cloud 9
403
00:14:19,709 --> 00:14:22,710
Shoplifters Parade of Shame.
404
00:14:22,712 --> 00:14:24,211
Here, you read these.
405
00:14:24,213 --> 00:14:25,363
I'm gonna pass out the tomatoes.
406
00:14:25,393 --> 00:14:27,060
Tomatoes? Dina...
407
00:14:27,183 --> 00:14:28,816
those aren't for throwing, are they?
408
00:14:28,818 --> 00:14:30,884
What? Oh, no.
409
00:14:30,886 --> 00:14:32,820
No, no, no. These are free samples.
410
00:14:32,822 --> 00:14:34,223
And if someone felt
compelled to throw one,
411
00:14:34,224 --> 00:14:35,956
that would be both illegal and wrong,
412
00:14:35,958 --> 00:14:37,689
just like shoplifting.
413
00:14:40,896 --> 00:14:43,364
Ooh, wow, "local clams."
414
00:14:43,366 --> 00:14:45,399
Where do you think
they're getting those from?
415
00:14:45,401 --> 00:14:46,911
Uh... uh, the river.
416
00:14:47,057 --> 00:14:48,202
The river?
417
00:14:48,629 --> 00:14:50,495
Okay, I can't do this anymore.
418
00:14:50,497 --> 00:14:52,946
Maya, I know that I have
been messing up all day.
419
00:14:52,947 --> 00:14:54,513
But before you fire me,
420
00:14:54,515 --> 00:14:57,149
I think you should know that
I am a really good manager
421
00:14:57,151 --> 00:14:58,850
and... and... and...
and I command respect
422
00:14:58,852 --> 00:14:59,946
and I don't do drugs
423
00:14:59,947 --> 00:15:01,373
and I don't steal Splenda packets.
424
00:15:01,374 --> 00:15:03,835
Amy, I asked you to lunch
425
00:15:04,006 --> 00:15:05,538
because I thought a
break from the store
426
00:15:05,540 --> 00:15:07,807
might help you chill out, girl.
427
00:15:07,809 --> 00:15:09,576
- Really?
- Yes.
428
00:15:09,578 --> 00:15:12,078
I am not here to fire anybody.
429
00:15:12,080 --> 00:15:16,850
Okay, 'cause, um,
today has been a disaster.
430
00:15:16,852 --> 00:15:18,084
I mean, I would fire me.
431
00:15:18,086 --> 00:15:20,987
- It has been weird.
- Yeah.
432
00:15:21,042 --> 00:15:24,143
Sure, but you're nervous. I get it.
433
00:15:24,646 --> 00:15:26,285
When the DM would visit my store,
434
00:15:26,294 --> 00:15:29,015
I would sweat through my shirt.
435
00:15:29,220 --> 00:15:32,855
Yeah, there's a storm
brewing underneath here.
436
00:15:32,905 --> 00:15:33,951
Yeah.
437
00:15:33,953 --> 00:15:36,998
So then if I... if I wanted to get
438
00:15:37,039 --> 00:15:38,990
a glass of wine, is...
439
00:15:38,992 --> 00:15:41,064
I mean, you are going back
to the store after this,
440
00:15:41,105 --> 00:15:42,126
though, right?
441
00:15:42,311 --> 00:15:44,211
Yeah, no, I just... I meant for later,
442
00:15:44,213 --> 00:15:46,547
for a friend... you're just joking.
443
00:15:46,549 --> 00:15:48,115
Of course. I knew that.
444
00:15:48,117 --> 00:15:49,316
I got it.
445
00:15:49,318 --> 00:15:51,142
Can I have some of the house red?
446
00:15:52,188 --> 00:15:54,113
That's not a waiter. It's just a man.
447
00:15:55,191 --> 00:15:56,790
- Get out.
- What?
448
00:15:56,792 --> 00:15:57,891
What?
449
00:15:57,893 --> 00:15:59,560
- Oh!
- Oh.
450
00:15:59,562 --> 00:16:03,063
Uh, Bo, Maya's not here.
451
00:16:03,065 --> 00:16:05,332
You don't have to keep
pretending to be an employee.
452
00:16:05,408 --> 00:16:07,709
Oh, no, it's cool. Glenn hired him.
453
00:16:07,949 --> 00:16:11,038
Yeah, what's up?
Your boy Dave is here to stay.
454
00:16:11,040 --> 00:16:12,821
- Ah!
- I'm sorry, Glenn?
455
00:16:12,908 --> 00:16:14,574
- Why would Glenn...
- Hey, Preet, go to two.
456
00:16:14,576 --> 00:16:16,714
Oh, uh, Jonah, we've
got a Hazmat situation
457
00:16:16,715 --> 00:16:18,119
over in housewares.
458
00:16:18,120 --> 00:16:19,673
Grab a pair of gloves and head over.
459
00:16:19,674 --> 00:16:22,074
Preety, I need those POUs.
460
00:16:22,076 --> 00:16:24,276
Why would... do I have to?
461
00:16:24,278 --> 00:16:26,222
Was he wearing a tie this morning?
462
00:16:26,827 --> 00:16:28,627
And I was like,
"I don't care. Write me up."
463
00:16:28,749 --> 00:16:31,411
I am not doing a Latin
accent to sell some queso.
464
00:16:31,412 --> 00:16:33,519
Oh, my God, that happened to me,
465
00:16:33,521 --> 00:16:34,887
but with salsa.
466
00:16:37,402 --> 00:16:39,224
We have so much in common.
467
00:16:41,062 --> 00:16:42,928
I like you, Amy.
468
00:16:42,930 --> 00:16:45,731
Hell, that's why I stuck
around another day.
469
00:16:47,618 --> 00:16:48,734
You know, I just wanna make sure
470
00:16:48,736 --> 00:16:50,932
that you're being... careful.
471
00:16:52,773 --> 00:16:54,306
Uh, what do you mean?
472
00:16:54,308 --> 00:16:57,380
I know about your branch's
history with unionizing.
473
00:16:57,978 --> 00:16:59,478
Mm-hmm.
474
00:16:59,480 --> 00:17:00,530
And in my experience,
475
00:17:00,531 --> 00:17:02,114
These things never go away.
476
00:17:02,116 --> 00:17:03,649
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
477
00:17:03,911 --> 00:17:06,051
I mean, I'm not saying
that you're caught up
478
00:17:06,078 --> 00:17:07,086
in all of this,
479
00:17:07,088 --> 00:17:08,287
but if corporate even thinks
480
00:17:08,289 --> 00:17:09,555
that you're helping the union,
481
00:17:09,557 --> 00:17:11,349
you will be throwing away
your future with them.
482
00:17:12,159 --> 00:17:15,060
- My... my future with corporate?
- Yes, girl.
483
00:17:15,062 --> 00:17:17,963
You are bright. Your numbers are great.
484
00:17:17,965 --> 00:17:19,898
Chicago could really use
somebody like you.
485
00:17:19,900 --> 00:17:24,169
Well, I don't know what to say.
486
00:17:24,613 --> 00:17:28,112
Protect your future, chica.
You could be going places.
487
00:17:29,326 --> 00:17:30,676
Salud.
488
00:17:36,317 --> 00:17:40,119
Anytime one of you is
tempted to steal this money,
489
00:17:40,542 --> 00:17:42,688
Mateo is gonna spray you in the face
490
00:17:42,690 --> 00:17:43,845
with that squirt bottle.
491
00:17:44,799 --> 00:17:46,492
Now, is it just water in there?
492
00:17:46,494 --> 00:17:49,294
For legal reasons, let's say yes.
493
00:17:49,635 --> 00:17:51,363
- This is messed up.
- What's that?
494
00:17:51,365 --> 00:17:53,608
That's what I thought.
495
00:17:54,635 --> 00:17:55,879
I'm gonna check on Gerald,
496
00:17:55,930 --> 00:17:57,297
see if he's done crying
in the men's room.
497
00:17:57,372 --> 00:17:58,805
In the meantime, Mateo,
498
00:17:59,219 --> 00:18:00,772
don't be stingy with the squirts.
499
00:18:02,550 --> 00:18:04,583
Don't worry.
I'm not gonna squirt anyone.
500
00:18:04,645 --> 00:18:06,678
I know you're not gonna
steal the money.
501
00:18:06,680 --> 00:18:09,982
We should steal it,
at least get my 200 bucks back.
502
00:18:09,984 --> 00:18:11,550
- What 200?
- The fee for this
503
00:18:11,552 --> 00:18:13,185
ridiculous class.
504
00:18:13,187 --> 00:18:15,287
Wait, Cloud 9 is charging
you to take this?
505
00:18:15,289 --> 00:18:16,622
- Yeah.
- Mm-hmm.
506
00:18:16,624 --> 00:18:18,223
So the company won't file
507
00:18:18,225 --> 00:18:20,893
a police report so
long as you pay $200?
508
00:18:20,895 --> 00:18:22,461
These people, they're evil.
509
00:18:22,845 --> 00:18:24,756
Oh, trust me. You have no idea.
510
00:18:28,831 --> 00:18:31,229
Jen went home sick,
so I'm putting you on deli.
511
00:18:31,268 --> 00:18:32,634
But don't eat that ham,
512
00:18:32,703 --> 00:18:34,282
'cause that's what made Jen sick.
513
00:18:34,515 --> 00:18:35,527
Okay.
514
00:18:36,820 --> 00:18:38,353
Oh, thank God.
515
00:18:39,843 --> 00:18:40,912
Oh.
516
00:18:42,513 --> 00:18:44,541
Alex, could you... thank you.
517
00:18:44,588 --> 00:18:45,820
And get out.
518
00:18:45,916 --> 00:18:47,738
So how'd it go?
519
00:18:47,771 --> 00:18:50,786
Oddly, really well.
Guess I'm still the manager.
520
00:18:50,788 --> 00:18:52,087
Yeah, great.
521
00:18:52,229 --> 00:18:54,196
See, I knew you'd be okay.
522
00:18:54,358 --> 00:18:55,606
- You sure did.
- Yeah.
523
00:18:57,941 --> 00:19:01,196
Hey, you guys. I'm sorry, Bo.
524
00:19:01,198 --> 00:19:03,031
It turns out, I'm not the manager.
525
00:19:03,033 --> 00:19:06,177
- So you're not hired.
- Whoa, this is not okay.
526
00:19:06,630 --> 00:19:07,996
Look at this thing.
527
00:19:08,037 --> 00:19:10,771
This display's my
masterpiece right here.
528
00:19:10,874 --> 00:19:13,364
If I'm not staying here,
neither are my turtles.
529
00:19:13,610 --> 00:19:15,978
Turt-turt, we're out of here.
530
00:19:15,980 --> 00:19:17,379
Oh...
531
00:19:17,381 --> 00:19:19,916
I mean, I guess that's only fair.
532
00:19:20,384 --> 00:19:22,058
Well, it's Amy's problem now.
533
00:19:23,220 --> 00:19:24,850
I've got the bucket of wet socks.
534
00:19:26,004 --> 00:19:27,389
Where is everyone?
535
00:19:27,391 --> 00:19:29,189
On one of their precious
bathroom breaks?
536
00:19:29,266 --> 00:19:30,699
I let them go.
537
00:19:31,940 --> 00:19:32,969
You what?
538
00:19:33,022 --> 00:19:34,129
I just couldn't stand the fact
539
00:19:34,130 --> 00:19:35,930
that this company
was extorting these people
540
00:19:35,932 --> 00:19:37,198
out of their hard-earned money.
541
00:19:37,200 --> 00:19:38,397
- It wasn't right.
- Huh.
542
00:19:40,542 --> 00:19:41,585
Wait.
543
00:19:42,122 --> 00:19:43,971
Did you take their money instead?
544
00:19:44,410 --> 00:19:45,870
Well, it had to go somewhere.
545
00:19:45,945 --> 00:19:47,044
Uh-huh.
546
00:19:47,213 --> 00:19:48,585
Half to me for a new security camera,
547
00:19:48,618 --> 00:19:49,933
and I look the other way.
548
00:19:50,817 --> 00:19:52,016
A third.
549
00:19:54,053 --> 00:19:55,286
Your hand is like velvet.
550
00:19:55,288 --> 00:19:57,475
- I sleep with gloves on.
- Hmm.
551
00:19:57,676 --> 00:19:59,660
And then she said she thought
I was smart and capable,
552
00:19:59,661 --> 00:20:00,748
which, duh.
553
00:20:00,822 --> 00:20:03,074
And I mean, I know this is silly,
554
00:20:03,221 --> 00:20:05,087
but she even mentioned something like...
555
00:20:05,089 --> 00:20:07,990
I don't know... someone like me
had a future at corporate.
556
00:20:07,992 --> 00:20:09,125
Wow.
557
00:20:09,127 --> 00:20:11,160
Sounds like corporate's really
pulling out all the stops.
558
00:20:11,162 --> 00:20:12,495
Taking you to lunch,
559
00:20:12,497 --> 00:20:13,934
trying to buy your allegiance
560
00:20:13,935 --> 00:20:15,902
with some bogus career opportunity...
561
00:20:15,904 --> 00:20:17,504
It's the same crap
they pulled with Jeff.
562
00:20:17,773 --> 00:20:20,264
Well, I mean, I don't know
that it was a ploy.
563
00:20:20,265 --> 00:20:21,342
I mean, is it so hard to believe
564
00:20:21,343 --> 00:20:22,778
she just thinks I'm a good manager?
565
00:20:22,779 --> 00:20:24,669
No, no. You're obviously
a great manager.
566
00:20:24,683 --> 00:20:27,582
It's just there's always
an agenda with these people.
567
00:20:27,901 --> 00:20:30,435
Anyway, it's not like you're
truly considering going off
568
00:20:30,437 --> 00:20:32,170
to be an executive at Cloud 9.
569
00:20:32,172 --> 00:20:33,845
Ha. Yeah.
570
00:20:33,873 --> 00:20:37,675
I mean, could you imagine...
me going off to the dark side?
571
00:20:40,380 --> 00:20:43,107
Why are there pictures
of Jerusha in my office?
572
00:20:44,719 --> 00:20:47,820
Sandra, relax. This is gonna
be a fun little road trip.
573
00:20:48,055 --> 00:20:50,455
I'm telling you,
it's the fantasy wedding venue.
574
00:20:50,457 --> 00:20:52,030
Uh-huh. Yeah, it's just...
575
00:20:52,031 --> 00:20:53,603
I'm curious what other people think,
576
00:20:53,630 --> 00:20:55,129
so maybe Marcus could join us?
577
00:20:55,131 --> 00:20:56,297
There's no time.
578
00:20:56,299 --> 00:20:57,965
We want to get there before sunset.
579
00:20:57,967 --> 00:20:59,252
God, you're gonna love it...
580
00:20:59,253 --> 00:21:02,152
Beautiful cliffside view.
It's super remote.
581
00:21:02,316 --> 00:21:04,316
I mean no one for miles.
582
00:21:04,851 --> 00:21:06,851
You've got... Sandra!
583
00:21:07,071 --> 00:21:09,071
She kidnapped me! Get the cops.
584
00:21:09,558 --> 00:21:11,558
Synced and corrected by hawken45
for www.addic7ed.com