1 00:00:01,635 --> 00:00:01,865 . 2 00:00:01,902 --> 00:00:05,012 [tense music] 3 00:00:05,439 --> 00:00:07,379 * 4 00:00:07,408 --> 00:00:09,808 - "Barbarian's Gate 3" is being released today, 5 00:00:09,843 --> 00:00:11,583 so I need everybody on their A-game, 6 00:00:11,612 --> 00:00:14,322 as this store is going to be packed with video game nerds. 7 00:00:14,348 --> 00:00:16,148 And we don't want to risk a trampling. 8 00:00:16,184 --> 00:00:18,294 - Well, we're never going to totally prevent tramplings. 9 00:00:18,319 --> 00:00:21,419 - Oh, no, obviously we're never going to have zero tramplings, 10 00:00:21,455 --> 00:00:23,815 but we can have fewer tramplings. 11 00:00:23,857 --> 00:00:25,187 - Um, can I set one of the video games aside 12 00:00:25,226 --> 00:00:27,126 before we sell out? 13 00:00:27,161 --> 00:00:30,331 - Amy, employees can't reserve merchandise, you know this. 14 00:00:30,364 --> 00:00:33,174 - You're into video games? - After a long day of work, 15 00:00:33,201 --> 00:00:35,171 It's nice to have a glass of wine and reach into 16 00:00:35,203 --> 00:00:37,173 a stable boy's chest and pull out his still-beating heart. 17 00:00:37,205 --> 00:00:38,265 - [laughs] - Feed the birds. 18 00:00:38,306 --> 00:00:39,436 - I just don't get how 19 00:00:39,473 --> 00:00:42,343 murdering people is considered fun. 20 00:00:42,376 --> 00:00:44,606 I mean, what happened to all those innocent games? 21 00:00:44,645 --> 00:00:48,145 You know, like "Frogger," and "Qbert," and "Donkey Kong." 22 00:00:48,182 --> 00:00:50,622 - Innocent? "Qbert" is about a big-nosed, creepily little 23 00:00:50,651 --> 00:00:53,151 freak that commits suicide when things get hard. 24 00:00:53,187 --> 00:00:55,457 - "Frogger" is basically a frog Holocaust. 25 00:00:55,489 --> 00:00:58,689 - I remember a glitch in the original "Donkey Kong" 26 00:00:58,726 --> 00:01:01,426 where it looks like the ape has a penis. 27 00:01:01,462 --> 00:01:03,262 - Sometimes when I'm playing "The Sims," 28 00:01:03,297 --> 00:01:06,067 I give myself a family. 29 00:01:07,635 --> 00:01:09,535 - Jesus Christ. 30 00:01:09,570 --> 00:01:12,540 [upbeat music] 31 00:01:12,573 --> 00:01:14,443 * 32 00:01:14,475 --> 00:01:19,605 [indistinct chatter] 33 00:01:19,647 --> 00:01:21,717 - The nerd smell is overwhelming. 34 00:01:21,749 --> 00:01:23,379 - It's like a potent blend 35 00:01:23,417 --> 00:01:25,487 of BO, pizza rolls, and misogyny. 36 00:01:25,519 --> 00:01:28,659 - Hey, Dina, so I know that employees aren't supposed 37 00:01:28,689 --> 00:01:31,329 to set aside merch, but I was just wondering 38 00:01:31,359 --> 00:01:33,159 if maybe you'd want to make an exception 39 00:01:33,194 --> 00:01:34,504 for your best friend? 40 00:01:34,528 --> 00:01:36,158 - My old best friend is currently in prison 41 00:01:36,197 --> 00:01:37,567 for cheating on her taxes. 42 00:01:37,598 --> 00:01:40,168 Ask her if I'm willing to "make an exception." 43 00:01:40,201 --> 00:01:41,371 [sniffs] 44 00:01:41,402 --> 00:01:44,712 Ugh, hair gel and urine. 45 00:01:44,738 --> 00:01:47,278 I can't, I can't. 46 00:01:47,308 --> 00:01:50,508 - Oh, come on, three of them? That's not fair. 47 00:01:50,544 --> 00:01:52,554 They're going to sell out before my shift is over. 48 00:01:52,580 --> 00:01:54,450 - Why don't you just sneak one out of the cage 49 00:01:54,482 --> 00:01:56,422 and put it aside for later? - No, it's fine. 50 00:01:56,450 --> 00:01:58,490 I guess I'll just wait until we get another restock. 51 00:01:58,519 --> 00:02:00,319 - Oh, but you shouldn't have to. 52 00:02:00,354 --> 00:02:03,494 You des-- - Don't say "you deserve this." 53 00:02:03,524 --> 00:02:05,494 - I wasn't going to say that. - What were you going to say? 54 00:02:05,526 --> 00:02:08,426 - [stammering] You...deserve this. 55 00:02:08,462 --> 00:02:10,302 - Okay, you're right, I do deserve this. 56 00:02:10,331 --> 00:02:12,271 I deserve to disembowel warlocks. 57 00:02:12,300 --> 00:02:13,630 - Yes, you...do. 58 00:02:13,667 --> 00:02:15,537 - Then let's do this. - Let's do this. 59 00:02:15,569 --> 00:02:19,239 - [sniffs] Oh, yep, urine. 60 00:02:19,273 --> 00:02:22,443 - Thank you so much for coming by. 61 00:02:22,476 --> 00:02:24,306 - Hey, how you doing, Mr. Evans? 62 00:02:24,345 --> 00:02:25,705 Good to meet you. - Nice to meet you. 63 00:02:25,746 --> 00:02:28,316 - I'm a huge fan of your voiceover work. 64 00:02:28,349 --> 00:02:30,549 In fact, my text alert is you from "Alpha Strike" 65 00:02:30,584 --> 00:02:33,454 saying "Decapitation bonus!" 66 00:02:33,487 --> 00:02:36,257 - [deep voice] Decapitation bonus! 67 00:02:36,290 --> 00:02:38,690 - [laughing] That is awesome! 68 00:02:38,726 --> 00:02:40,656 - Thanks. - Yeah, cool, well, hey. 69 00:02:40,694 --> 00:02:42,264 That's all I wanted to say. 70 00:02:42,296 --> 00:02:43,526 You know, I just think you're great, 71 00:02:43,564 --> 00:02:46,434 and you know, you mean the world to me. 72 00:02:46,467 --> 00:02:48,237 - Okay. - That's... 73 00:02:48,269 --> 00:02:49,569 that sounded weird. 74 00:02:49,603 --> 00:02:51,573 I mean, not the world, but a lot, you know? 75 00:02:51,605 --> 00:02:55,205 You, you mean a lot to me. 76 00:02:55,243 --> 00:02:58,213 Oh, my mouth, my mouth is so dry. 77 00:02:58,246 --> 00:02:59,746 - [laughs] 78 00:02:59,780 --> 00:03:03,480 - Yeah, yeah, I can taste it. 79 00:03:03,517 --> 00:03:08,757 - If we could just, like, move, and make a line to the side. 80 00:03:08,789 --> 00:03:11,559 And then people could pass on this side. 81 00:03:11,592 --> 00:03:15,362 And if we then-- if we could all go this way. 82 00:03:15,396 --> 00:03:17,296 - Sandra, we need this area clear. 83 00:03:17,331 --> 00:03:19,231 This is a fire hazard. - I know. 84 00:03:19,267 --> 00:03:21,297 I told them and they told me that my butt's a fire hazard. 85 00:03:21,335 --> 00:03:22,765 I'm trying to think of a comeback. 86 00:03:22,803 --> 00:03:27,583 - Okay, guys, I really need you to make a line that way. 87 00:03:27,608 --> 00:03:29,708 Okay? 88 00:03:29,743 --> 00:03:33,313 - Attention, all soft boys. Get off your butts, 89 00:03:33,347 --> 00:03:35,647 and move to the side, now! 90 00:03:35,683 --> 00:03:37,723 The first person to step out of line 91 00:03:37,751 --> 00:03:41,491 is going to get my foot in their throat. 92 00:03:41,522 --> 00:03:43,822 Use...less. 93 00:03:43,857 --> 00:03:46,727 Useless. 94 00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:51,570 - [groans] Come on. 95 00:03:52,566 --> 00:03:54,396 You try. Your arms are longer. 96 00:03:54,435 --> 00:03:55,735 - Me? Yeah, but you know, 97 00:03:55,769 --> 00:03:57,669 I think my bicep might be a little big for-- 98 00:03:57,705 --> 00:03:59,665 Oh, hey. - Slipped right in there. 99 00:03:59,707 --> 00:04:01,677 - Mmm, not long enough. 100 00:04:01,709 --> 00:04:03,809 - [groans] 101 00:04:03,844 --> 00:04:08,454 Well, I guess I'll just stick to "Barbarian's Gate 2," 102 00:04:08,482 --> 00:04:10,752 like a commoner. - Wait, what's that back there? 103 00:04:10,784 --> 00:04:14,724 Is that a door? - Um, maybe. 104 00:04:14,755 --> 00:04:16,615 It kind of just looks like a closet. 105 00:04:16,657 --> 00:04:19,627 - Or it's another way into the cage. 106 00:04:19,660 --> 00:04:22,060 Like an access tunnel. - You know, 107 00:04:22,095 --> 00:04:25,325 Glenn does still have the plans from the renovation. 108 00:04:25,366 --> 00:04:28,536 We could break into his office, steal the blueprints, 109 00:04:28,569 --> 00:04:29,899 and navigate our way around the-- 110 00:04:29,937 --> 00:04:31,807 - Okay, you don't have to mock me. 111 00:04:31,839 --> 00:04:34,309 - We crawl through the tunnel and then we jimmy the door-- 112 00:04:34,342 --> 00:04:36,782 - I was only trying to help-- - I'm agreeing with you! 113 00:04:36,810 --> 00:04:39,350 - Oh. Cool, all right. 114 00:04:39,380 --> 00:04:40,780 Well, uh, let's do this, then. 115 00:04:40,814 --> 00:04:42,624 It'll be like a little adventure. 116 00:04:42,650 --> 00:04:44,620 - Yeah, it's going to be the adventure of a lifetime. 117 00:04:44,652 --> 00:04:45,652 - Was that-- - Sarcasm. 118 00:04:49,089 --> 00:04:49,419 . 119 00:04:49,457 --> 00:04:51,827 - Okay, so it seems like there's another access point 120 00:04:52,560 --> 00:04:54,800 on this floor right around... 121 00:04:54,828 --> 00:04:57,058 this office. - Really, where? 122 00:04:57,097 --> 00:04:59,997 - According to this, it's right there. 123 00:05:00,033 --> 00:05:02,403 - Well, there's clearly nothing there. 124 00:05:02,436 --> 00:05:03,796 - To the naked eye. 125 00:05:03,837 --> 00:05:05,707 There might be a false wall, you know? 126 00:05:05,739 --> 00:05:07,709 The thing about drywall is, you have to listen to it. 127 00:05:07,741 --> 00:05:09,481 Because it sings a song. - Oh. 128 00:05:09,510 --> 00:05:11,110 - It lets you know where you need to go. 129 00:05:11,144 --> 00:05:12,714 [knocking on wall] - Uh-huh. 130 00:05:12,746 --> 00:05:14,416 - What I'm trying to do right now 131 00:05:14,448 --> 00:05:17,818 is find a hollow spot, okay? 132 00:05:17,851 --> 00:05:19,991 They're pretty much all hollow spots. 133 00:05:20,020 --> 00:05:22,860 - Maybe this is it? 134 00:05:22,890 --> 00:05:24,430 - Oh. 135 00:05:24,458 --> 00:05:26,028 - I'm just guessing. 136 00:05:26,059 --> 00:05:28,759 - I see what I did there. 137 00:05:28,796 --> 00:05:32,426 I confused the title block and the revision block. 138 00:05:32,466 --> 00:05:34,966 - Totally, yeah, that happens all the time. 139 00:05:35,002 --> 00:05:37,942 - Do you know why we're always the victims? 140 00:05:37,971 --> 00:05:40,441 - Because... 141 00:05:40,474 --> 00:05:41,984 I'm sorry, Glenn, I don't know. 142 00:05:42,009 --> 00:05:44,849 - It's because we make ourselves the victim. 143 00:05:44,878 --> 00:05:46,948 But I am done being a doormat. 144 00:05:46,980 --> 00:05:48,780 - It would be nice not to get pushed around. 145 00:05:48,816 --> 00:05:50,846 - Yeah. - My mailman uses the bathroom 146 00:05:50,884 --> 00:05:52,594 in my apartment every day. 147 00:05:52,620 --> 00:05:55,820 He used to knock, but then he made me make him a key. 148 00:05:55,856 --> 00:05:56,856 So... 149 00:05:56,890 --> 00:05:59,390 - Well, no more. 150 00:05:59,427 --> 00:06:01,827 Yeah, from now on, 151 00:06:01,862 --> 00:06:03,932 we are going to stand up for ourselves. 152 00:06:03,964 --> 00:06:05,174 - Okay, I guess. 153 00:06:05,198 --> 00:06:07,028 - Come on, say it like you mean it. 154 00:06:07,067 --> 00:06:08,137 - Okay, I guess! 155 00:06:08,168 --> 00:06:10,398 - That's the spirit! 156 00:06:10,438 --> 00:06:11,608 - Ah, got to get back to work. 157 00:06:11,639 --> 00:06:12,609 - Right. - Good talking with you. 158 00:06:12,640 --> 00:06:14,810 - No problem. 159 00:06:14,842 --> 00:06:16,812 - Do you have any idea who you were just talking to? 160 00:06:16,844 --> 00:06:18,954 - Who, that guy? - Yeah, that's Erick Evans. 161 00:06:18,979 --> 00:06:21,419 He's been nominated for like, five DICE awards. 162 00:06:21,449 --> 00:06:23,579 - Okay. - He's a legend. 163 00:06:23,617 --> 00:06:25,147 That's like if you met J. Lo. 164 00:06:25,185 --> 00:06:28,085 - Oh, what, just because I'm gay, I like J. Lo? 165 00:06:28,121 --> 00:06:30,891 I mean, I do, she's flawless. But expand your mind. 166 00:06:30,924 --> 00:06:32,034 - What did you guys talk about? 167 00:06:32,059 --> 00:06:34,129 - I don't know, just small talk. 168 00:06:34,161 --> 00:06:37,031 - Tell me everything he said. 169 00:06:37,064 --> 00:06:38,834 - Fine, ugh. 170 00:06:38,866 --> 00:06:40,166 He was like, 171 00:06:40,200 --> 00:06:42,100 "There's so much traffic on Delmar this morning." 172 00:06:42,135 --> 00:06:44,805 And I was like, "You're right, Delmar was bumper to bumper." 173 00:06:44,838 --> 00:06:46,038 - Forget it. - No, no, wait. 174 00:06:46,073 --> 00:06:47,173 I haven't gotten to the juicy part yet. 175 00:06:47,207 --> 00:06:48,837 So, apparently, 176 00:06:48,876 --> 00:06:50,906 he doesn't think his Taurus has enough power. 177 00:06:50,944 --> 00:06:52,014 - Yeah, whatever, dude. 178 00:06:52,045 --> 00:06:54,105 - [clears throat] Hi, ma'am. 179 00:06:54,147 --> 00:06:57,887 - Once again, mouth breathers, this is not personal. 180 00:06:57,918 --> 00:06:59,888 It's not about who you are. 181 00:06:59,920 --> 00:07:01,890 It's about how you smell. 182 00:07:01,922 --> 00:07:04,562 And your stench is overwhelming. 183 00:07:04,592 --> 00:07:07,602 This is not attacking any one individual. 184 00:07:07,628 --> 00:07:09,998 Although if I had to single out the stink king, 185 00:07:10,030 --> 00:07:12,570 it would for sure be fatty in the purple hoodie. 186 00:07:12,600 --> 00:07:14,970 Ugh. 187 00:07:15,002 --> 00:07:16,502 - Whoa. 188 00:07:16,537 --> 00:07:17,867 I can't believe I've never been 189 00:07:17,905 --> 00:07:19,835 in this part of the store before. 190 00:07:19,873 --> 00:07:22,083 - Figured at some point during your illustrious Cloud 9 tenure 191 00:07:22,109 --> 00:07:23,509 you would have ventured back here. 192 00:07:23,544 --> 00:07:25,254 - No, I think they give you access 193 00:07:25,278 --> 00:07:28,918 to the bowels of the store at 15 years, so I'm almost there. 194 00:07:28,949 --> 00:07:31,179 - Well, this is weird. According to the blueprints, 195 00:07:31,218 --> 00:07:36,088 there should be a ladder, like, right here. 196 00:07:38,659 --> 00:07:41,959 Oh, yes, right there. 197 00:07:41,995 --> 00:07:44,965 [rousing hip-hop music] 198 00:07:44,998 --> 00:07:52,008 * 199 00:07:57,044 --> 00:08:00,054 [calm music] 200 00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:05,190 * 201 00:08:05,218 --> 00:08:08,188 [rousing hip-hop music resumes] 202 00:08:08,221 --> 00:08:12,191 * 203 00:08:12,225 --> 00:08:13,725 - Hey, Sandra. - Mm-hmm? 204 00:08:13,761 --> 00:08:15,601 - You think all these other sweaters 205 00:08:15,629 --> 00:08:19,069 are just going to magically get up and fold themselves? 206 00:08:19,099 --> 00:08:23,139 - No, Glenn, because magic doesn't [bleep] exist! 207 00:08:23,170 --> 00:08:24,710 * 208 00:08:24,738 --> 00:08:27,268 - One per customer. 209 00:08:27,307 --> 00:08:31,007 * 210 00:08:31,044 --> 00:08:33,584 Aww. - Oh, my goodness. 211 00:08:33,614 --> 00:08:35,284 - The sign says "do not sit." 212 00:08:35,315 --> 00:08:37,275 - But I'm feeding my child, so... 213 00:08:37,317 --> 00:08:39,087 - Oh. - "I'm feeding my child, so." 214 00:08:39,119 --> 00:08:40,919 No one cares. You're not special. 215 00:08:40,954 --> 00:08:43,924 - Yeah, so could you scram? - I'm trying, I'm just-- 216 00:08:43,957 --> 00:08:45,587 - Oh, you're trying? Vertical. - You and your bag 217 00:08:45,626 --> 00:08:47,626 and your baby and your boobs need to go. 218 00:08:47,661 --> 00:08:48,961 - Tell you what, why don't you take 219 00:08:48,996 --> 00:08:51,726 your cold French fries with you? 220 00:08:51,765 --> 00:08:53,695 - This is ridiculous. 221 00:08:53,734 --> 00:08:55,944 - This is fun. - I know! 222 00:08:55,969 --> 00:08:57,299 - Enjoy. 223 00:08:57,337 --> 00:08:59,307 - Hey, do you want coffee? 224 00:08:59,339 --> 00:09:01,639 I accidentally got an extra one. 225 00:09:01,675 --> 00:09:02,775 So it's just going to go to waste. 226 00:09:02,810 --> 00:09:04,650 - Oh, thank you. - Yeah. 227 00:09:04,678 --> 00:09:07,248 - Oh, is there any-- - Almond milk. 228 00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:09,050 Because I know you're lactose intolerant. 229 00:09:09,082 --> 00:09:10,682 - Yeah, yeah. - Not because I'm stalking you 230 00:09:10,718 --> 00:09:13,348 or anything like that, I just, I read an interview, so. 231 00:09:13,386 --> 00:09:14,586 - Right. - Right. 232 00:09:14,622 --> 00:09:17,222 - Thank you. - Mm-hmm. 233 00:09:25,198 --> 00:09:28,138 - This is an adventure. It's like "The Goonies." 234 00:09:28,168 --> 00:09:31,038 - I never saw that. - "The Goonies"? 235 00:09:31,071 --> 00:09:32,371 How have you never seen "The Goonies"? 236 00:09:32,405 --> 00:09:34,165 [phone buzzes] - Well, it's a funny story, 237 00:09:34,207 --> 00:09:37,037 actually: when the movie came out, I just didn't see it. 238 00:09:37,077 --> 00:09:39,347 Oh, my God. It's Dina. 239 00:09:39,379 --> 00:09:41,279 - Answer it. No, don't answer it. 240 00:09:41,314 --> 00:09:42,784 [whispering] Answer it. 241 00:09:42,816 --> 00:09:45,316 - How is this helpful? 242 00:09:45,352 --> 00:09:47,692 - Amy, where are you? I need you in electronics. 243 00:09:47,721 --> 00:09:50,221 One of the gamers is trying to teach Alexa racial slurs. 244 00:09:50,257 --> 00:09:52,187 Sir, if you put that magnet on your armor, 245 00:09:52,225 --> 00:09:54,055 you are buying it, I swear to God. 246 00:09:54,094 --> 00:09:56,364 - Um, I'm--I'm right here. 247 00:09:56,396 --> 00:09:58,366 - Where? - Here. 248 00:09:58,398 --> 00:10:00,268 You can't see me? 249 00:10:00,300 --> 00:10:02,100 - Yeah, I don't see you. 250 00:10:02,135 --> 00:10:03,365 - Dina, I am right here. 251 00:10:03,403 --> 00:10:05,773 Just, um, turn left. 252 00:10:05,806 --> 00:10:07,806 No, not, uh, the other way. 253 00:10:07,841 --> 00:10:10,641 No--no, turn around, Dina. 254 00:10:10,678 --> 00:10:11,848 I'm behind you. 255 00:10:11,879 --> 00:10:14,149 Oh, my God, um, can you hold on? 256 00:10:14,181 --> 00:10:16,821 There's a customer who's trying to get my attention. 257 00:10:16,850 --> 00:10:19,350 - Hang on? No, Amy, I need you right now. 258 00:10:19,386 --> 00:10:22,716 - [bad accent] I--I need a lawnmower. 259 00:10:22,756 --> 00:10:25,156 - Okay, I'm going to go help him, bye. 260 00:10:25,192 --> 00:10:28,232 - Amy? Amy? 261 00:10:28,261 --> 00:10:30,731 - What is that voice? - I'm sorry. 262 00:10:30,764 --> 00:10:33,134 I never pass up an opportunity to do a character. 263 00:10:33,166 --> 00:10:34,766 - No. - That's when I shine. 264 00:10:34,802 --> 00:10:36,242 - That is not okay. 265 00:10:36,269 --> 00:10:37,769 - I was shining. - No. 266 00:10:37,805 --> 00:10:40,235 - Did you hear what that guy called me? 267 00:10:40,273 --> 00:10:42,083 Sir! 268 00:10:42,109 --> 00:10:44,139 I could get used to that, boy. 269 00:10:44,177 --> 00:10:46,807 "Oh, hello, sir. Good-bye, sir." 270 00:10:46,847 --> 00:10:48,317 - And people could call me "ma'am." 271 00:10:48,348 --> 00:10:49,878 "Get out of my way, ma'am." 272 00:10:49,917 --> 00:10:53,387 That's the only one I could think of, but... 273 00:10:53,420 --> 00:10:56,660 [indistinct chatter] 274 00:11:00,828 --> 00:11:03,858 - Oh, hi. I came back with friends. 275 00:11:03,897 --> 00:11:06,397 Say hi, say hi. 276 00:11:06,433 --> 00:11:07,703 [laughs] 277 00:11:11,338 --> 00:11:11,708 . 278 00:11:11,739 --> 00:11:14,669 - So, apparently, what's happening is called a nurse in. 279 00:11:15,709 --> 00:11:16,279 It's meant to promote breastfeeding rights. 280 00:11:17,344 --> 00:11:17,914 - Wait, so they're going to be doing this in public? 281 00:11:18,611 --> 00:11:19,951 That's gross. [all groan] 282 00:11:21,048 --> 00:11:23,278 All I'm saying is that, from a hetero male perspective, 283 00:11:23,316 --> 00:11:25,316 the female breast is a beautiful thing. 284 00:11:25,352 --> 00:11:26,892 And when we see milk squirting out of it, 285 00:11:26,920 --> 00:11:28,360 it's a real boner-killer. all: Oh, my God. 286 00:11:28,388 --> 00:11:29,788 - I just want everyone to know 287 00:11:29,823 --> 00:11:31,423 that I do not agree with this guy. 288 00:11:31,458 --> 00:11:33,758 - We allow breastfeeding, so why are they protesting? 289 00:11:33,794 --> 00:11:36,004 - No one knows. Yeah, women are crazy. 290 00:11:36,029 --> 00:11:38,399 - Well, it might be because-- - Shut up, Sandra. 291 00:11:38,431 --> 00:11:40,331 No one knows, so why don't we just move on? 292 00:11:40,367 --> 00:11:42,767 - Okay, so if women can show their boobs in the store, 293 00:11:42,803 --> 00:11:44,373 can I walk around with my penis hanging out? 294 00:11:44,404 --> 00:11:45,874 - You can't feed a baby with your penis. 295 00:11:45,906 --> 00:11:47,306 - But if I did, then it would be okay? 296 00:11:47,340 --> 00:11:48,940 - Wait, you're fighting for the right 297 00:11:48,976 --> 00:11:50,876 to walk around the store with your penis hanging out? 298 00:11:50,911 --> 00:11:53,051 - No, I'm just trying to figure out where the line is here. 299 00:11:53,080 --> 00:11:54,450 - Yeah, I think the line is somewhere 300 00:11:54,481 --> 00:11:55,951 between breast and penis. 301 00:11:55,983 --> 00:11:57,893 - Okay, these are all good points, 302 00:11:57,918 --> 00:12:01,318 but I think that maybe we need a woman's perspective. 303 00:12:01,354 --> 00:12:03,324 - Well, I think, historically-- - I think a woman would say 304 00:12:03,356 --> 00:12:05,286 she's just happy to be a part of the conversation. 305 00:12:05,325 --> 00:12:06,785 - Why do they have to do it in public? 306 00:12:06,827 --> 00:12:08,057 Why can't they just do it in their cars, 307 00:12:08,095 --> 00:12:09,525 or by the dumpsters? Right? Up top. 308 00:12:09,562 --> 00:12:11,872 [all groan] - No, never gonna happen. 309 00:12:11,899 --> 00:12:15,299 - Again, maybe we could have a woman's perspective? 310 00:12:15,335 --> 00:12:19,765 - In my day, we called a gal who took her top off a whore. 311 00:12:19,807 --> 00:12:21,937 - There you are, the woman's perspective. 312 00:12:21,975 --> 00:12:23,335 - If breast milk is so healthy, 313 00:12:23,376 --> 00:12:25,346 why aren't we all drinking it all the time? 314 00:12:25,378 --> 00:12:26,778 Or making cheese with it? 315 00:12:26,814 --> 00:12:28,924 - Hold on, business idea. 316 00:12:28,949 --> 00:12:30,519 Human cheese. 317 00:12:30,550 --> 00:12:32,490 Nobody steal that. I call patent. 318 00:12:32,519 --> 00:12:34,289 - Oh, so gross. - Gross? 319 00:12:34,321 --> 00:12:35,961 Are you telling me you'll have sex with a woman, 320 00:12:35,989 --> 00:12:37,929 but not a cow, but drink a cow's milk 321 00:12:37,958 --> 00:12:39,358 and not a woman's? 322 00:12:39,392 --> 00:12:41,492 - Is that a real question? Of course. 323 00:12:41,528 --> 00:12:42,898 [all groan] - Oh, boy. 324 00:12:42,930 --> 00:12:44,400 - We eat cows. 325 00:12:44,431 --> 00:12:46,271 - I think what Garrett's trying to say is that, 326 00:12:46,299 --> 00:12:48,839 if we ate human women, then we could drink their milk. 327 00:12:48,869 --> 00:12:50,399 [all groan] - Oh, wow, Garrett, 328 00:12:50,437 --> 00:12:51,837 that is way too far. - No, I'm not saying that-- 329 00:12:51,872 --> 00:12:53,412 [indistinct chatter] - Disgusting. 330 00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:55,540 - I want everybody to know, I am not with this guy. 331 00:12:55,575 --> 00:12:57,845 - So, Chunk, a child, wants to adopt 332 00:12:57,878 --> 00:12:59,878 a full-grown man with severe physical and mental 333 00:12:59,913 --> 00:13:02,883 disabilities, and his parents are just like, fine with that? 334 00:13:02,916 --> 00:13:05,846 - Wait, what is this? 335 00:13:05,886 --> 00:13:08,386 - I'm not sure. 336 00:13:10,590 --> 00:13:13,330 Huh. - What? 337 00:13:13,360 --> 00:13:16,100 - "Cindy Silly Stove." 338 00:13:16,129 --> 00:13:18,529 Yikes. 339 00:13:18,565 --> 00:13:21,565 Oh, my God, this must be the room 340 00:13:21,601 --> 00:13:23,541 where they used to put all the recalled merch. 341 00:13:23,570 --> 00:13:25,110 - That explains "Border Hopper," 342 00:13:25,138 --> 00:13:27,138 the zany illegal alien game. 343 00:13:27,174 --> 00:13:29,084 - So zany. 344 00:13:29,109 --> 00:13:31,009 Shut up. 345 00:13:31,044 --> 00:13:33,414 Sugar Logs? [gasps] 346 00:13:33,446 --> 00:13:35,376 Do you remember Sugar Logs? 347 00:13:35,415 --> 00:13:37,545 Expires 2023, score. 348 00:13:37,584 --> 00:13:39,124 - I don't. 349 00:13:39,152 --> 00:13:40,922 - Oh, I used to love these when I was a kid, 350 00:13:40,954 --> 00:13:42,864 before everything had to be so damn healthy. 351 00:13:42,890 --> 00:13:44,590 - 300 grams of sugar? 352 00:13:44,624 --> 00:13:47,564 A can of soda has like, 40. 353 00:13:47,594 --> 00:13:51,634 - Mmmm, oh, my God, it's so good! 354 00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:53,634 - Most of these ingredients are just colors. 355 00:13:53,666 --> 00:13:55,466 - What is this? - I don't know, 356 00:13:55,502 --> 00:13:58,342 but I want to put them on me. - Put it on! 357 00:13:58,371 --> 00:14:01,341 [upbeat music playing] 358 00:14:01,374 --> 00:14:05,914 * 359 00:14:05,946 --> 00:14:08,176 - This is supposed to be a family store. 360 00:14:08,215 --> 00:14:10,415 My child shouldn't have to see a bunch of women 361 00:14:10,450 --> 00:14:14,350 flaunting their bare breasts. It's disgusting. 362 00:14:14,387 --> 00:14:16,557 Let's get your game signed and get out of here. 363 00:14:16,589 --> 00:14:20,459 - We're on it. Have a heavenly day. 364 00:14:20,493 --> 00:14:21,963 - Hey, what's up, skinny? [laughs] 365 00:14:21,995 --> 00:14:23,625 - What? 366 00:14:23,663 --> 00:14:26,003 - You look like you lost like, 20 pounds or something. 367 00:14:26,033 --> 00:14:28,373 - Okay, you obviously want something from me, 368 00:14:28,401 --> 00:14:29,441 but I still like it. 369 00:14:29,469 --> 00:14:30,669 - You know, I was thinking, 370 00:14:30,703 --> 00:14:32,473 since you're so close with Erick, 371 00:14:32,505 --> 00:14:34,465 if you wouldn't mind introducing me as a friend. 372 00:14:34,507 --> 00:14:36,177 - Wait, you want me to be your wingman 373 00:14:36,209 --> 00:14:37,509 for that middle-aged guy in Crocs 374 00:14:37,544 --> 00:14:39,384 who I've had one conversation with? 375 00:14:39,412 --> 00:14:42,052 - Hey, look, hey, all you need you to do is set it up, 376 00:14:42,082 --> 00:14:43,922 and I'll knock it down. 377 00:14:43,951 --> 00:14:45,491 - What is that? Is that a black thing? 378 00:14:45,518 --> 00:14:46,488 Can I start saying it? 379 00:14:46,519 --> 00:14:48,959 - No, it's bowling. 380 00:14:48,989 --> 00:14:50,459 - Yeah. - Okay, then, just, 381 00:14:50,490 --> 00:14:52,030 hold on to the thing. 382 00:14:52,059 --> 00:14:53,589 - Over, over. 383 00:14:53,626 --> 00:14:55,396 [cheering] 384 00:14:55,428 --> 00:14:57,098 [both laughing] 385 00:14:57,130 --> 00:14:59,570 [rock music] 386 00:14:59,599 --> 00:15:02,099 - Ha-ha! - [yells] 387 00:15:03,236 --> 00:15:05,936 It burns, it burns, it burns, it burns, get it off. 388 00:15:05,973 --> 00:15:08,643 This is just a witch's broom. Why would they recall this? 389 00:15:08,675 --> 00:15:11,435 - Oh, I remember this. Here. 390 00:15:11,478 --> 00:15:12,978 [broom vibrating] 391 00:15:13,013 --> 00:15:16,483 - Oh, oh, I see it, got it, good recall. 392 00:15:16,516 --> 00:15:18,486 - * Take the money and run 393 00:15:18,518 --> 00:15:21,118 - Okay, I reloaded! 394 00:15:21,154 --> 00:15:24,264 - That's very funny, but I can't--I need your help. 395 00:15:24,291 --> 00:15:25,991 Stop! 396 00:15:26,026 --> 00:15:29,626 - I got you know, you-- - Boom, oh, in your face! 397 00:15:29,662 --> 00:15:31,732 - You're turning violet, Violet. 398 00:15:31,764 --> 00:15:36,274 - But Daddy, I want an Oompa-Loompa now. 399 00:15:36,303 --> 00:15:38,713 * 400 00:15:38,738 --> 00:15:40,968 - Hyperdrive! 401 00:15:44,744 --> 00:15:46,614 That's enough of that. 402 00:15:46,646 --> 00:15:48,446 [game spinner turns] 403 00:15:48,481 --> 00:15:51,551 - * I'm a jalapeno I'm a jalapeno * 404 00:15:51,584 --> 00:15:54,154 - All right, jalapeno, your border tunnel caved in. 405 00:15:54,187 --> 00:15:56,457 - Oh, come on. - Move back two spaces. 406 00:15:56,489 --> 00:15:58,159 - There is just no way to win this game. 407 00:15:58,191 --> 00:16:00,461 - Sorry, jalapeno. - Mm. 408 00:16:00,493 --> 00:16:02,033 - You know what's funny? 409 00:16:02,062 --> 00:16:04,562 We actually drank these in the parking lot 410 00:16:04,597 --> 00:16:06,497 at the end of my first day here. 411 00:16:06,533 --> 00:16:09,773 - Oh, yeah, I remember that. God, that was a long time ago. 412 00:16:09,802 --> 00:16:12,172 - It was back when you really hated me. 413 00:16:12,205 --> 00:16:14,205 - Come on, I didn't hate you. - Oh, you hated me. 414 00:16:14,241 --> 00:16:16,041 - No, I didn't. - Okay. 415 00:16:16,076 --> 00:16:20,206 - I just thought you were like, naive and useless.. 416 00:16:20,247 --> 00:16:22,517 - Naive and useless? - Mm-hmm. 417 00:16:22,549 --> 00:16:24,319 - Oh, okay, wow. I can take that. 418 00:16:24,351 --> 00:16:26,021 And now? - And now... 419 00:16:26,053 --> 00:16:28,063 - Uh-huh. 420 00:16:28,088 --> 00:16:31,218 - Same, but I... - Okay. 421 00:16:31,258 --> 00:16:32,728 - I'm not so bothered by it. 422 00:16:32,759 --> 00:16:34,689 - [laughs] See? 423 00:16:34,727 --> 00:16:37,557 I grow on a person. - Or wear them down. 424 00:16:37,597 --> 00:16:40,067 Whichever one you prefer. - Either way, 425 00:16:40,100 --> 00:16:41,800 there's some sort of a progress happening here. 426 00:16:41,834 --> 00:16:44,644 - Progress, that's right. 427 00:16:44,671 --> 00:16:47,671 - And you never know, one day you might even like me. 428 00:16:47,707 --> 00:16:50,507 - Ah. - [laughs] 429 00:16:55,248 --> 00:16:59,788 I didn't take off my boots in the river and I've drowned. 430 00:17:03,056 --> 00:17:03,186 . 431 00:17:03,223 --> 00:17:05,163 - So the door to the cage should be 432 00:17:05,792 --> 00:17:06,192 right around this corner. 433 00:17:06,826 --> 00:17:07,556 - [gasps] - There it is. 434 00:17:08,328 --> 00:17:09,758 - Oh, my God, you did it! - Hah. 435 00:17:09,796 --> 00:17:12,096 - I thought you would never find it. 436 00:17:12,132 --> 00:17:15,742 - If that's Amy for thank you, then you're welcome. 437 00:17:15,768 --> 00:17:19,068 Goonies never say die! 438 00:17:19,106 --> 00:17:20,836 - Hi. - Hi. 439 00:17:20,873 --> 00:17:22,713 - Hi. 440 00:17:22,742 --> 00:17:26,212 - Uh, I read the blueprints wrong. 441 00:17:26,246 --> 00:17:29,316 - I'm getting coffee with my ex-wife. 442 00:17:29,349 --> 00:17:32,689 - Excuse us. 443 00:17:32,719 --> 00:17:34,719 - Sorry. 444 00:17:34,754 --> 00:17:36,224 - [exhales] 445 00:17:36,256 --> 00:17:38,686 Hey, Jill. 446 00:17:38,725 --> 00:17:40,285 [deeper voice] Hey. 447 00:17:40,327 --> 00:17:43,257 - I am not trying to shame anyone, 448 00:17:43,296 --> 00:17:47,096 but I need you to move out of this aisle. 449 00:17:47,134 --> 00:17:49,344 Please? - Pretty please? 450 00:17:49,369 --> 00:17:51,739 With a cherry on top and rainbow sprinkles? 451 00:17:51,771 --> 00:17:54,841 - Or chocolate, you choose, whatever you want. 452 00:17:54,874 --> 00:17:56,614 - Oh, you're pathetic. 453 00:17:56,643 --> 00:17:59,183 I can't believe I'm having your baby. 454 00:17:59,212 --> 00:18:01,252 - My...what? - What? 455 00:18:01,281 --> 00:18:03,151 - You're pa-the-tic. 456 00:18:03,183 --> 00:18:05,723 - No, no, no, no, I know that. What about the baby? 457 00:18:05,752 --> 00:18:07,192 - Didn't you get my text? 458 00:18:07,220 --> 00:18:09,190 The implantation worked. I'm pregnant. 459 00:18:09,222 --> 00:18:10,892 Or preggers, as my horrid niece would say, 460 00:18:10,923 --> 00:18:13,333 trying to make herself sound like she has a personality. 461 00:18:13,360 --> 00:18:15,360 - [muffled yelp] - [scoffs] 462 00:18:15,395 --> 00:18:17,395 - That's the most beautiful, magical thing 463 00:18:17,430 --> 00:18:19,170 anyone has ever said to me. 464 00:18:19,199 --> 00:18:21,199 - [sobbing] I'm just so happy for you. 465 00:18:21,234 --> 00:18:22,304 - [sobbing] Thank you. 466 00:18:22,335 --> 00:18:23,395 - No, I am sure I texted you. 467 00:18:23,436 --> 00:18:24,866 It was like a week ago. 468 00:18:24,904 --> 00:18:27,474 I see what happened. Texted the wrong Glen. 469 00:18:27,507 --> 00:18:31,737 "Sorry, pregnant with Glenn with two Ns. 470 00:18:31,778 --> 00:18:32,748 LOL." 471 00:18:32,779 --> 00:18:34,679 My mechanic. 472 00:18:34,714 --> 00:18:38,154 - My assistant manager and I, we're going to have a baby. 473 00:18:38,185 --> 00:18:39,785 - Oh, boy. 474 00:18:39,819 --> 00:18:42,689 - Oh, God, I can't wait to tell my wife. 475 00:18:42,722 --> 00:18:44,922 - What is happening here? - I don't know. 476 00:18:44,957 --> 00:18:47,787 - I'm going to be a daddy. 477 00:18:47,827 --> 00:18:50,897 Who's pathetic now? 478 00:18:50,930 --> 00:18:54,170 [all muttering] 479 00:18:55,268 --> 00:18:57,468 - I was, um... 480 00:18:57,504 --> 00:18:58,914 No, no, never mind. 481 00:18:58,938 --> 00:19:02,278 [both laugh nervously] 482 00:19:02,309 --> 00:19:06,809 - Um, set them up and knock them down? 483 00:19:06,846 --> 00:19:11,516 - [exhales] Soap. 484 00:19:11,551 --> 00:19:14,951 - Soap. 485 00:19:14,987 --> 00:19:18,787 - So, this is--this is cool. 486 00:19:18,825 --> 00:19:21,285 I'm so glad we're doing this. 487 00:19:21,328 --> 00:19:23,758 - Yeah, it's...it's very cool. 488 00:19:23,796 --> 00:19:25,496 - [chuckles] 489 00:19:25,532 --> 00:19:27,702 - No, it's not cool. 490 00:19:27,734 --> 00:19:29,274 Normally I'm the cool guy. 491 00:19:29,302 --> 00:19:31,702 They call me the Samuel L. Jackson of this store. 492 00:19:31,738 --> 00:19:33,338 - Who calls you the-- - But for some reason, 493 00:19:33,373 --> 00:19:34,943 around you, and I don't know what it is, 494 00:19:34,974 --> 00:19:36,414 because you're just some guy who stands in a booth 495 00:19:36,443 --> 00:19:37,843 and does a bunch of silly voices, 496 00:19:37,877 --> 00:19:39,707 so I don't know why you think you're so great. 497 00:19:39,746 --> 00:19:41,346 - I don't--I don't-- I never said that. 498 00:19:41,381 --> 00:19:43,951 - You know, I met Scott Bakula at an Outback Steakhouse, 499 00:19:43,983 --> 00:19:46,953 and it was smooth sailing. And that guy, he quantum leapt. 500 00:19:46,986 --> 00:19:50,856 Or leaped, or whatever it was. I don't care, because I'm cool. 501 00:19:50,890 --> 00:19:53,260 You're not better than me! 502 00:19:53,293 --> 00:19:55,903 So enjoy losing another DICE award to Troy Baker. 503 00:19:55,928 --> 00:19:57,228 Jerk. 504 00:19:57,264 --> 00:20:00,334 Taurus-driving loser. 505 00:20:01,901 --> 00:20:03,871 - [clears throat] 506 00:20:03,903 --> 00:20:06,913 I mean, the sad thing is, he is the cool one. 507 00:20:06,939 --> 00:20:08,479 So... 508 00:20:08,508 --> 00:20:10,938 - [sighs] - Oh, no. 509 00:20:10,977 --> 00:20:13,407 It's over, huh? - Yeah. 510 00:20:13,446 --> 00:20:15,576 It's fine, I made too big a deal out of it. 511 00:20:15,615 --> 00:20:18,445 - Oh, okay, then I guess you won't want this. 512 00:20:18,485 --> 00:20:21,315 - What? How? - I bribed some kid 513 00:20:21,354 --> 00:20:22,994 with a couple of cans of that malt drink. 514 00:20:23,022 --> 00:20:25,332 He was a bigger kid, so I think his heart can handle it. 515 00:20:25,358 --> 00:20:27,488 - Jonah, thank you! 516 00:20:27,527 --> 00:20:29,997 Oh, my God, I can't wait to decapitate somebody. 517 00:20:30,029 --> 00:20:31,599 - Yeah, well, I am happy to help. 518 00:20:31,631 --> 00:20:33,001 - Do you want to see how it's done? 519 00:20:33,032 --> 00:20:34,332 I could put it in the demo, 520 00:20:34,367 --> 00:20:35,467 and I could show you really quick. 521 00:20:35,502 --> 00:20:37,802 It's so much fun. - Oh, uh... 522 00:20:37,837 --> 00:20:41,007 I kind of promised Kelly that I would meet her tonight. 523 00:20:41,040 --> 00:20:42,480 I so would, though. 524 00:20:42,509 --> 00:20:43,579 - Oh, my God, of course. Yeah, no. 525 00:20:43,610 --> 00:20:45,410 - But tomorrow. 526 00:20:45,445 --> 00:20:46,845 - Yes. - Let's do this. 527 00:20:46,879 --> 00:20:49,949 - Let's do it tomorrow. Play the game. 528 00:20:49,982 --> 00:20:51,952 - Okay. - Okay, have a good night. 529 00:20:51,984 --> 00:20:54,854 - You too, enjoy that. - I will, thank you. 530 00:20:54,887 --> 00:20:57,987 - [chuckles] - Thank you. 531 00:20:58,024 --> 00:20:59,834 - Ugh. 532 00:20:59,859 --> 00:21:01,289 I can still smell them. 533 00:21:01,328 --> 00:21:03,898 It's like Cool Ranch and scrotum. 534 00:21:03,930 --> 00:21:07,030 Hey, Rodriguez, pay attention, I'm talking. 535 00:21:07,066 --> 00:21:11,336 What, have you got a crush on Jonah or something? 536 00:21:11,371 --> 00:21:13,041 - [exhales] 537 00:21:13,072 --> 00:21:16,582 Yeah, I think I do. 538 00:21:16,609 --> 00:21:18,549 - [retching] 539 00:21:18,578 --> 00:21:21,908 It's the smell. It's not this.