1 00:00:01,335 --> 00:00:01,495 . 2 00:00:03,404 --> 00:00:06,644 - You guys, look, he's just like... 3 00:00:06,674 --> 00:00:08,314 - Cool. - Great, a rat. 4 00:00:08,342 --> 00:00:10,042 - No. 5 00:00:10,078 --> 00:00:12,108 - Come on. - You ask me that every year. 6 00:00:12,146 --> 00:00:13,746 - One of these days, I'm gonna wear you down. 7 00:00:13,781 --> 00:00:16,051 Your poor husband. 8 00:00:16,084 --> 00:00:18,654 - Actually, um, no, we, uh, 9 00:00:18,686 --> 00:00:20,746 we got a divorce a few months ago. 10 00:00:20,788 --> 00:00:22,088 - Oh no, I'm sorry to hear that. 11 00:00:22,123 --> 00:00:23,323 - Oh, no, it's totally fine, 12 00:00:23,357 --> 00:00:25,827 I'm in a healthy relationship with my DVR. 13 00:00:27,561 --> 00:00:29,131 Okay, this might be a little bit out of left field, 14 00:00:29,163 --> 00:00:31,433 but, um, I know this awesome steak house. 15 00:00:31,465 --> 00:00:34,095 Let me buy you dinner, and then I can answer 16 00:00:34,135 --> 00:00:37,465 all of your groundhog 17 00:00:37,505 --> 00:00:39,665 - Um, oh, so, like, 18 00:00:39,707 --> 00:00:41,737 you and I, we would-- 19 00:00:41,775 --> 00:00:44,375 we would go to the steak house and, 20 00:00:44,412 --> 00:00:47,082 like, eat the steak or maybe, 21 00:00:47,115 --> 00:00:50,215 like, order some sides or something like that? 22 00:00:50,251 --> 00:00:52,251 - Yeah, yeah, something like that. 23 00:00:52,286 --> 00:00:53,816 - Oh, my God, this is so hard to watch. 24 00:00:53,854 --> 00:00:55,124 - I know. 25 00:00:55,156 --> 00:00:56,456 - So, the thing is, like, 26 00:00:56,490 --> 00:01:00,360 I just got out of a really long-term relationship-- 27 00:01:00,394 --> 00:01:01,564 Oww! 28 00:01:01,595 --> 00:01:03,155 - Watch it! Gary! 29 00:01:03,197 --> 00:01:04,527 - Oww, he bit me. 30 00:01:04,565 --> 00:01:06,595 - Oh, come on, come on, little buddy, you okay? 31 00:01:06,634 --> 00:01:08,874 - He's gonna be okay. 32 00:01:08,902 --> 00:01:11,512 - Does that mean we go straight to summer? 33 00:01:14,542 --> 00:01:16,612 * 34 00:01:16,644 --> 00:01:18,354 - Attention shoppers, 35 00:01:18,379 --> 00:01:21,319 our groundhog meet and greet has been cancelled. 36 00:01:21,349 --> 00:01:23,419 But if you were coming here to meet a rodent, 37 00:01:23,451 --> 00:01:26,851 your day was probably not gonna be amazing anyway. 38 00:01:26,887 --> 00:01:29,187 - Ugh, I mean, that poor groundhog. 39 00:01:29,223 --> 00:01:30,523 - Look, I just got flustered. 40 00:01:30,558 --> 00:01:33,458 I'm not used to being flirted with. 41 00:01:33,494 --> 00:01:36,164 - Well, at least you're getting back out there. 42 00:01:36,197 --> 00:01:37,697 You're greasing up the old gears? 43 00:01:37,731 --> 00:01:39,231 Hitting the road again? 44 00:01:39,267 --> 00:01:41,567 Seeing if that rusty hull is still seaworthy? 45 00:01:43,237 --> 00:01:45,867 No, I'm not ready to start dating. 46 00:01:47,441 --> 00:01:49,841 I have, like, five cousins who are very single. 47 00:01:49,877 --> 00:01:51,447 - Well, thank you, but no. 48 00:01:51,479 --> 00:01:53,309 I am taking this time to focus on me. 49 00:01:53,347 --> 00:01:54,817 I bought a bunch of succulents, 50 00:01:54,848 --> 00:01:56,778 and also, I'm trying Sudoku. 51 00:01:56,817 --> 00:01:59,487 I feel like I missed that craze the first time around. 52 00:01:59,520 --> 00:02:02,820 - You are a very, very boring woman. 53 00:02:02,856 --> 00:02:04,556 - Okay. - Okay, thank you. 54 00:02:04,592 --> 00:02:06,332 - Thanks for the Band-Aids. - That's all right. 55 00:02:06,360 --> 00:02:07,700 - That's the embryo 56 00:02:07,728 --> 00:02:09,898 right before they implanted it in Dina's uterus. 57 00:02:09,930 --> 00:02:10,930 Isn't it cute? 58 00:02:10,964 --> 00:02:12,504 - Yeah, I suppose it's cute, 59 00:02:12,533 --> 00:02:15,203 as far as amoeba-looking things can be. 60 00:02:15,236 --> 00:02:17,436 - Well, I know it's just a bunch of cells now, 61 00:02:17,471 --> 00:02:19,411 but if everything goes well, 62 00:02:19,440 --> 00:02:21,240 that's my and Jerusha's baby. 63 00:02:21,275 --> 00:02:22,305 - Look, I don't wanna freak you out, 64 00:02:22,343 --> 00:02:23,443 but are you sure it's yours? 65 00:02:23,477 --> 00:02:26,377 'cause it kinda looks like Elias. 66 00:02:26,414 --> 00:02:29,324 - To be fair, all babies look like Elias. 67 00:02:29,350 --> 00:02:31,420 - Hey, I need you to sign this accident report. 68 00:02:31,452 --> 00:02:34,262 I'm gone for one morning, and Amy spikes a groundhog. 69 00:02:35,656 --> 00:02:37,686 The doctor said to spend the rest of the day resting. 70 00:02:37,725 --> 00:02:39,685 - I'm fine, I've never missed a day of work before, 71 00:02:39,727 --> 00:02:41,357 and I'm not about to start 72 00:02:41,395 --> 00:02:42,855 because I had a few boba balls shot up my runway. 73 00:02:42,896 --> 00:02:44,296 - The miracle of life. 74 00:02:44,332 --> 00:02:46,202 - Okay, no, I am taking you home. 75 00:02:46,234 --> 00:02:47,344 Come on. 76 00:02:47,368 --> 00:02:49,738 - I'm not leaving the store. 77 00:02:49,770 --> 00:02:50,970 This is dumb. 78 00:02:51,004 --> 00:02:52,574 If I wanna relax, I fly to Ohio. 79 00:02:52,606 --> 00:02:53,806 I don't just sit and do nothing. 80 00:02:53,841 --> 00:02:54,881 - Dina, please, 81 00:02:54,908 --> 00:02:56,338 if this implantation fails, 82 00:02:56,377 --> 00:02:58,677 I don't have enough money to try again. 83 00:02:58,712 --> 00:03:01,822 - Fine, but I want it on the record that this is stupid. 84 00:03:01,849 --> 00:03:03,919 - Noted, and thank you. 85 00:03:03,951 --> 00:03:05,291 - All right. 86 00:03:05,319 --> 00:03:06,819 You know, you might be surprised. 87 00:03:06,854 --> 00:03:09,294 A little fresh air and quiet might be just the thing 88 00:03:09,323 --> 00:03:12,763 to, you know, put a smile back on your face. 89 00:03:12,793 --> 00:03:13,993 Enjoy. 90 00:03:18,599 --> 00:03:20,469 - I need you to give me that walkie. 91 00:03:20,501 --> 00:03:23,501 Excuse me. Jessica. 92 00:03:24,872 --> 00:03:27,412 - So, word on the street is 93 00:03:27,441 --> 00:03:30,281 you are horny and looking for love. 94 00:03:32,746 --> 00:03:34,946 - Let's just say a little dumb bird 95 00:03:34,982 --> 00:03:37,592 and her gay friend bird told me. 96 00:03:37,618 --> 00:03:39,718 - Well, turns out you have bad information. 97 00:03:39,753 --> 00:03:41,923 - Shh, shh, look, here's what we're gonna do. 98 00:03:41,955 --> 00:03:44,785 The second our shift ends, we're going to my place, 99 00:03:44,825 --> 00:03:46,325 we're getting in my water bed, 100 00:03:46,360 --> 00:03:47,730 and we're not leaving till we figure out 101 00:03:47,761 --> 00:03:49,761 this whole will they, won't they, 102 00:03:49,797 --> 00:03:52,397 Kermit and Miss Piggy thing we got going on. 103 00:03:52,433 --> 00:03:54,573 - Wait, sorry, am I Kermit or-- 104 00:03:54,602 --> 00:03:56,302 - Yeah, 'cause you're smart with skinny legs 105 00:03:56,337 --> 00:03:58,807 and I'm Miss Piggy because I'm a star. 106 00:03:58,839 --> 00:04:00,639 So, what do you think? 107 00:04:00,674 --> 00:04:02,414 - I just think it might be weird 108 00:04:02,443 --> 00:04:05,313 to date someone I work with, so... 109 00:04:05,346 --> 00:04:08,616 - Okay, fine, then screw it. 110 00:04:08,649 --> 00:04:11,619 I will quit right now. - No. 111 00:04:11,652 --> 00:04:13,752 - I no longer work here. - No, no. 112 00:04:13,787 --> 00:04:16,587 - I need someone to cover for Dina today. 113 00:04:16,624 --> 00:04:17,434 Any volunteers? 114 00:04:17,458 --> 00:04:19,358 - Well, I guess I could. - Question. 115 00:04:19,393 --> 00:04:20,833 Is it possible to hook up an Xbox 116 00:04:20,861 --> 00:04:22,901 to the security monitors in Dina's office? 117 00:04:22,930 --> 00:04:24,030 - I suppose so, yeah. 118 00:04:24,064 --> 00:04:25,574 - You know, Glenn, 119 00:04:25,599 --> 00:04:26,669 I've always had an interest in management. 120 00:04:26,700 --> 00:04:28,500 I'll cover for Dina. - Great. 121 00:04:28,536 --> 00:04:30,336 - Ooh, Glenn, if he's doing that, 122 00:04:30,371 --> 00:04:31,541 can I do the announcements? 123 00:04:31,572 --> 00:04:33,412 - Well, Garrett's assistant manager now, 124 00:04:33,441 --> 00:04:34,641 so it's up to him. 125 00:04:34,675 --> 00:04:36,375 - I once did a radio play in college. 126 00:04:36,410 --> 00:04:37,750 - Okay, fine, 127 00:04:37,778 --> 00:04:39,778 just don't tell me one more word about it. 128 00:04:39,813 --> 00:04:41,453 - This is a good team. 129 00:04:43,083 --> 00:04:44,923 Come on. 130 00:04:44,952 --> 00:04:46,852 Relax. 131 00:04:48,456 --> 00:04:50,986 Relax, relax, relax, relax, relax. 132 00:04:51,024 --> 00:04:53,664 Relax, damn it. 133 00:04:53,694 --> 00:04:55,804 Come on. 134 00:04:55,829 --> 00:04:57,829 Ugh. 135 00:04:59,867 --> 00:05:02,797 Nailed it. 136 00:05:02,836 --> 00:05:05,406 - I--sorry, I mean, I would help him myself, 137 00:05:05,439 --> 00:05:07,609 but he insisted on speaking with a manager. 138 00:05:07,641 --> 00:05:10,381 - Hi, I'm Amy, the floor manager. 139 00:05:10,411 --> 00:05:11,551 - I'm Castor. 140 00:05:11,579 --> 00:05:13,409 You look really nice. 141 00:05:16,884 --> 00:05:20,094 - Uh, Castor mentioned that he works in insurance, 142 00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:22,560 which is a very stable industry. 143 00:05:22,590 --> 00:05:24,120 - I used to work in textiles, 144 00:05:24,157 --> 00:05:26,127 but insurance was a dream of mine, 145 00:05:26,159 --> 00:05:28,059 so now I work in insurance. 146 00:05:28,095 --> 00:05:31,465 - He took the leap. 147 00:05:31,499 --> 00:05:34,369 - I'm sorry, do you two know each other? 148 00:05:34,402 --> 00:05:35,642 - No. - Mateo's my cousin. 149 00:05:35,669 --> 00:05:37,039 - Hmm. 150 00:05:37,070 --> 00:05:38,810 Cousin, in, like, you know, 151 00:05:38,839 --> 00:05:40,439 all Filipinos are related... 152 00:05:40,474 --> 00:05:42,684 - Our mothers are sisters. 153 00:05:42,710 --> 00:05:43,880 - Okay. 154 00:05:49,483 --> 00:05:49,783 . 155 00:05:49,817 --> 00:05:50,717 - Uh, he's weird, 156 00:05:51,852 --> 00:05:53,422 I'm not attracted to him, 157 00:05:53,454 --> 00:05:54,994 and when you mentioned that he "worked" in insurance, 158 00:05:55,022 --> 00:05:57,092 you could've mentioned it was horse insurance. 159 00:05:57,124 --> 00:05:58,734 - There's a lot of money in that. 160 00:05:58,759 --> 00:05:59,989 Horses' lives are crazy. 161 00:06:00,027 --> 00:06:01,727 - I can handle my own love life, thank you. 162 00:06:01,762 --> 00:06:05,432 - Are you sure, 'cause you are taking forever to smash it out. 163 00:06:05,466 --> 00:06:06,396 - Again, 164 00:06:06,434 --> 00:06:09,874 I am not ready to start dating, and if I were, 165 00:06:09,903 --> 00:06:11,843 why is that the cousin you set me up with? 166 00:06:11,872 --> 00:06:13,012 How about the one who always comes in 167 00:06:13,040 --> 00:06:14,410 to buy his protein powder? 168 00:06:15,175 --> 00:06:17,005 You think you can land Rogelio? 169 00:06:17,044 --> 00:06:18,484 Straight girl, please. 170 00:06:18,512 --> 00:06:20,412 - Cheyenne, back me up here. 171 00:06:20,448 --> 00:06:21,948 I mean, I am way 172 00:06:21,982 --> 00:06:23,652 out of Castor's league, right? 173 00:06:26,454 --> 00:06:28,564 Right now? I... 174 00:06:28,589 --> 00:06:31,559 Castor seems good. 175 00:06:31,592 --> 00:06:33,662 - Attention Cloud 9 shoppers. 176 00:06:33,694 --> 00:06:36,464 Sushi is on sale at the deli. 177 00:06:36,497 --> 00:06:39,627 Mmm, discount sushi from a big box store. 178 00:06:39,667 --> 00:06:43,467 Why just eat when you can gamble at the same time? 179 00:06:43,504 --> 00:06:44,444 You know what, 180 00:06:44,472 --> 00:06:46,142 that sounded harsher than what I meant it to. 181 00:06:46,173 --> 00:06:48,443 If you like the sushi, just get the sushi. 182 00:06:49,543 --> 00:06:51,513 - Yeah, I just, I'm trying to do it like Garrett, 183 00:06:51,545 --> 00:06:53,775 but I'm a little better, I think, feeding off someone, 184 00:06:53,814 --> 00:06:55,654 you know, riffing in the moment. 185 00:06:55,683 --> 00:06:57,523 - Yeah, sure, like a co-host, 186 00:06:57,551 --> 00:06:58,791 like, like, Kelly Ripa. 187 00:06:58,819 --> 00:06:59,949 - Yes, or Hoda. 188 00:06:59,987 --> 00:07:01,187 - Okay, all right... 189 00:07:03,657 --> 00:07:05,057 Then let's riff. 190 00:07:05,092 --> 00:07:07,162 - Oh, all right. You ready? 191 00:07:07,194 --> 00:07:08,064 - Yeah. 192 00:07:12,966 --> 00:07:14,666 - Maybe we need to rehearse a little bit. 193 00:07:14,702 --> 00:07:15,972 - Okay. 194 00:07:16,003 --> 00:07:17,873 - No, I am at work. 195 00:07:17,905 --> 00:07:21,205 I'm getting paid to sit around and play video games all day. 196 00:07:21,241 --> 00:07:24,081 Aww, sorry, Craig, I forgot you got fired, 197 00:07:24,111 --> 00:07:26,211 - Hey, Garrett, can I leave a little early? 198 00:07:26,246 --> 00:07:28,246 I teach water aerobics to seniors after work, 199 00:07:28,281 --> 00:07:30,221 and they yell at me if I'm late. 200 00:07:30,250 --> 00:07:31,850 It can get racist. 201 00:07:31,885 --> 00:07:33,045 They don't know what I am, 202 00:07:33,086 --> 00:07:34,816 so it's kind of all over the place. 203 00:07:34,855 --> 00:07:37,085 - Kinda busy, I say you just do you. 204 00:07:37,124 --> 00:07:38,964 Dina normally says that-- 205 00:07:38,992 --> 00:07:42,702 - Just do whatever you want. 206 00:07:42,730 --> 00:07:45,070 No, not you, Craig, you need to go back to Staples 207 00:07:45,098 --> 00:07:46,828 and make things right. 208 00:07:46,867 --> 00:07:48,667 - Amy, I'm gonna give you some 209 00:07:48,702 --> 00:07:49,972 gay man tough love right now. 210 00:07:50,003 --> 00:07:51,913 Okay 211 00:07:51,939 --> 00:07:52,939 I wanna make sure you're ready. 212 00:07:52,973 --> 00:07:54,983 What, Mateo? 213 00:07:56,009 --> 00:07:57,809 Okay, no tea, no shade-- 214 00:07:57,845 --> 00:07:59,845 you're not a ten right now. 215 00:07:59,880 --> 00:08:01,110 It's not about your looks. 216 00:08:01,148 --> 00:08:02,878 You just have some major dings. 217 00:08:02,916 --> 00:08:04,716 You're over 30, you're divorced, 218 00:08:04,752 --> 00:08:05,722 you have a kid. 219 00:08:05,753 --> 00:08:06,723 - Cheyenne has a baby, 220 00:08:06,754 --> 00:08:07,894 does that give her a ding? 221 00:08:07,921 --> 00:08:09,221 - No, because I have a baby 222 00:08:09,256 --> 00:08:11,156 the way that Chrissy Teigen has a baby. 223 00:08:11,191 --> 00:08:12,761 You have an old baby, 224 00:08:12,793 --> 00:08:14,703 so that's a double ding. - Yeah. 225 00:08:14,728 --> 00:08:17,868 - Plus, you're probably really out of practice sex-wise. 226 00:08:19,332 --> 00:08:20,832 - And I'm guessing your downstairs is a jungle? 227 00:08:20,868 --> 00:08:21,968 - Mm, retro. 228 00:08:22,002 --> 00:08:23,142 Nothing wrong with that. 229 00:08:23,170 --> 00:08:25,240 - No, it is a manicu-- you know what? 230 00:08:25,272 --> 00:08:27,012 I am not gonna defend myself. 231 00:08:27,040 --> 00:08:30,010 This whole system of rating people is gross. 232 00:08:31,344 --> 00:08:33,954 - Um, you're a four, Justine's a three. 233 00:08:33,981 --> 00:08:36,081 - But it's cool, 'cause I clean up on twos. 234 00:08:36,116 --> 00:08:37,646 Girl's trip! 235 00:08:37,685 --> 00:08:39,685 - No, Sarah's a seven, Brett's an eight, 236 00:08:39,720 --> 00:08:42,120 Tate's a ten because he has a good job and abs. 237 00:08:42,155 --> 00:08:44,055 - That's correct, I'm the complete package. 238 00:08:44,091 --> 00:08:46,161 Are we tied? 239 00:08:46,193 --> 00:08:48,103 - God, no. 240 00:08:48,128 --> 00:08:49,898 I'm sorry, that was not-- 241 00:08:49,930 --> 00:08:51,830 no, I think you're beautiful. 242 00:08:51,865 --> 00:08:53,695 See, this whole system just sets us back. 243 00:08:53,734 --> 00:08:55,074 - You're just a little bit higher than Justine. 244 00:08:57,070 --> 00:09:00,110 No offense, Justine, we're all God's creatures. 245 00:09:00,140 --> 00:09:01,740 What? 246 00:09:01,775 --> 00:09:03,175 - Attention Cloud 9 shoppers. 247 00:09:03,210 --> 00:09:06,880 Roma tomatoes are now $2.99 a pound. 248 00:09:06,914 --> 00:09:08,154 $2.99, Kelly-- 249 00:09:08,181 --> 00:09:11,181 a small price to pay for a taste of Italy. 250 00:09:11,218 --> 00:09:12,318 - That's for sure. 251 00:09:12,352 --> 00:09:14,092 Now, Jonah, I always forget-- 252 00:09:14,121 --> 00:09:16,791 are tomatoes a fruit or are they a vegetable? 253 00:09:16,824 --> 00:09:18,594 - Oh, I say vegetables 254 00:09:18,626 --> 00:09:20,686 so I get credit for eating my veggies. 255 00:09:21,829 --> 00:09:23,629 - Busted, okay, I'm busted. 256 00:09:28,636 --> 00:09:31,766 - Well, someone's looking relaxed. 257 00:09:31,805 --> 00:09:33,735 Oh, yeah. 258 00:09:33,774 --> 00:09:36,044 I've been staring at these rocks for the past hour. 259 00:09:36,076 --> 00:09:37,606 If you soften your focus, 260 00:09:37,645 --> 00:09:39,675 it kinda looks like two bats making paella. 261 00:09:39,713 --> 00:09:41,683 - Oh yeah, yeah. 262 00:09:41,715 --> 00:09:43,075 Yeah, anyway, um, 263 00:09:43,116 --> 00:09:45,886 if you really wanna get up, I guess it's okay, 264 00:09:45,919 --> 00:09:47,389 you have to promise to take it easy. 265 00:09:47,420 --> 00:09:49,820 - Actually, I'd like another ten minutes if it's okay. 266 00:09:49,857 --> 00:09:52,227 A hummingbird flew by and I wanna see if he comes back. 267 00:09:52,259 --> 00:09:54,829 - Take all the time you need. 268 00:09:54,862 --> 00:09:56,102 Can I get you anything? 269 00:09:56,129 --> 00:09:57,999 - Yeah. 270 00:09:58,031 --> 00:09:59,831 - I mean, I could use a snack-- 271 00:09:59,867 --> 00:10:00,827 just some baby carrots. 272 00:10:00,868 --> 00:10:01,868 - Okay. 273 00:10:01,902 --> 00:10:03,142 - And pita chips. - Mm-hmm. 274 00:10:03,170 --> 00:10:05,070 - Ooh, and dips-- 275 00:10:05,105 --> 00:10:06,935 hummus, vegan tzatziki, maybe a guac. 276 00:10:06,974 --> 00:10:08,214 Yeah, for sure a guac. 277 00:10:08,241 --> 00:10:10,111 And if you could stack them in a bowl-- 278 00:10:10,143 --> 00:10:12,083 preferably glass so I can see the layers-- 279 00:10:12,112 --> 00:10:13,882 that'd be great, thanks. 280 00:10:13,914 --> 00:10:15,254 - Okay. 281 00:10:15,282 --> 00:10:16,982 I'll see what we have that wasn't 282 00:10:17,017 --> 00:10:20,047 part of the listeria outbreak. 283 00:10:21,388 --> 00:10:23,758 - Yeah, I don't say this very often, 284 00:10:23,791 --> 00:10:25,831 but that Cloud 9 suit looks really great on you. 285 00:10:25,859 --> 00:10:28,129 - Oh, thanks. 286 00:10:28,161 --> 00:10:30,401 - Hey, um, can I ask you a question? 287 00:10:30,430 --> 00:10:31,430 - Yeah. 288 00:10:31,464 --> 00:10:35,104 - Would you go out on a date with someone like me? 289 00:10:35,135 --> 00:10:36,335 - Oh, I'm married. 290 00:10:36,369 --> 00:10:37,939 - Oh, no, no, no, I'm not asking you out. 291 00:10:37,971 --> 00:10:39,741 I just mean, like, theoretically. 292 00:10:39,773 --> 00:10:42,013 Like, say your wife died and you're single now. 293 00:10:42,042 --> 00:10:43,412 Why would she have died? 294 00:10:43,443 --> 00:10:44,883 - Okay fine, she never existed, 295 00:10:44,912 --> 00:10:45,982 or she was abducted. 296 00:10:46,013 --> 00:10:47,153 And you're not sad, you're fine. 297 00:10:47,180 --> 00:10:48,180 You were looking for a way out, 298 00:10:48,215 --> 00:10:49,275 and it led you to me, 299 00:10:49,316 --> 00:10:51,316 so on a scale from one to ten, 300 00:10:51,351 --> 00:10:56,161 I'm like a eight minimum, right? 301 00:10:58,191 --> 00:11:00,891 I, uh, I have a lot of great clothes at home, 302 00:11:00,928 --> 00:11:02,728 so I'll just-- 303 00:11:02,763 --> 00:11:04,933 I'll just wear those before I go out shopping. 304 00:11:04,965 --> 00:11:06,065 Thank you. 305 00:11:06,099 --> 00:11:08,339 - Okay. 306 00:11:10,137 --> 00:11:12,437 - Yeah, I don't know, Sandra was on softlines. 307 00:11:12,472 --> 00:11:13,442 - What... 308 00:11:14,641 --> 00:11:18,351 She had to do something, so I told her she could bounce. 309 00:11:18,378 --> 00:11:19,708 All right, I'll see you later. 310 00:11:19,747 --> 00:11:20,647 - No, wh-wh-wh-wh-whoa. 311 00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:23,120 You can't go home until this is cleaned up. 312 00:11:24,151 --> 00:11:25,421 - Well, it's gotta get done, 313 00:11:25,452 --> 00:11:27,922 Mr. Acting Assistant Manager. 314 00:11:29,022 --> 00:11:32,032 Oh, why are these pants moist? 315 00:11:32,059 --> 00:11:33,429 - Oh yeah, that happens. 316 00:11:33,460 --> 00:11:34,930 - Ugh. 317 00:11:34,962 --> 00:11:37,002 - Hey, so, um, 318 00:11:37,030 --> 00:11:38,100 I know this might sound weird, 319 00:11:38,131 --> 00:11:39,931 but on a scale from one to ten-- 320 00:11:39,967 --> 00:11:41,427 - Sorry, hang on, one second. 321 00:11:41,468 --> 00:11:43,368 Hey, do you wanna run it once before we get on the mic, 322 00:11:43,403 --> 00:11:46,373 or just kinda dive in and use that opening night energy? 323 00:11:46,406 --> 00:11:47,806 - Let's just go for it. 324 00:11:47,841 --> 00:11:49,341 - That's what I thought. 325 00:11:49,376 --> 00:11:52,506 Sorry, what were you saying? 326 00:11:52,545 --> 00:11:53,975 - Uh, you're busy. 327 00:11:54,014 --> 00:11:55,184 I'll come back later. 328 00:11:58,085 --> 00:12:01,045 - * ...hear percussion 329 00:12:01,088 --> 00:12:03,318 * Turn it upside down 330 00:12:04,992 --> 00:12:07,192 both: * Swiss cheese is on sale now * 331 00:12:07,227 --> 00:12:08,497 - * On sale now 332 00:12:08,528 --> 00:12:10,328 - * Better get it fast 333 00:12:10,363 --> 00:12:12,503 both: * 'Cause it will sell o-out 334 00:12:12,532 --> 00:12:15,102 - Ugh, maybe we should allow bullying in schools 335 00:12:15,135 --> 00:12:16,835 if it'll prevent stuff like this. 336 00:12:16,870 --> 00:12:18,370 - Yeah, tell me about it. 337 00:12:19,973 --> 00:12:21,443 I'm just kidding, you don't have an office. 338 00:12:21,474 --> 00:12:24,114 - You know, it hasn't been great, Tate. 339 00:12:24,144 --> 00:12:26,114 I killed a groundhog-- probably-- 340 00:12:26,146 --> 00:12:27,476 and if it lives, it'll never be the same. 341 00:12:27,514 --> 00:12:29,954 And I learned that on a scale from one to ten, 342 00:12:29,983 --> 00:12:31,323 I am immensely unappealing. 343 00:12:31,351 --> 00:12:33,121 - You can't listen to what people here say. 344 00:12:33,153 --> 00:12:34,793 They're all idiots. 345 00:12:34,822 --> 00:12:36,292 Today, one of them asked me whether he's supposed 346 00:12:36,323 --> 00:12:38,133 to eat the cotton inside the pill bottle. 347 00:12:38,158 --> 00:12:40,388 - Elias, yeah. 348 00:12:40,427 --> 00:12:41,957 - Look, I know everyone here 349 00:12:41,995 --> 00:12:43,425 is trying to hook you up with a bunch of randos, 350 00:12:43,463 --> 00:12:45,103 but you should hold out for a good one. 351 00:12:45,132 --> 00:12:47,332 You deserve that. 352 00:12:49,169 --> 00:12:50,269 - Well, that-- 353 00:12:50,303 --> 00:12:51,843 that kinda sounds like a line, 354 00:12:51,872 --> 00:12:53,412 but, um, thank you. 355 00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:55,280 - Well, listen, I don't know if you feel like a drink, 356 00:12:55,308 --> 00:12:57,278 but I know a great little spot. 357 00:12:57,310 --> 00:12:59,150 I told them that I'm a veteran, 358 00:12:59,179 --> 00:13:00,949 so I drink for half price. 359 00:13:02,883 --> 00:13:04,523 - * We do whatever we want 360 00:13:05,385 --> 00:13:06,485 - Ow, ow, ow, ow. 361 00:13:06,519 --> 00:13:08,159 - Okay, good to know. That's fine. 362 00:13:08,188 --> 00:13:10,288 - Um, more drinks please. 363 00:13:10,323 --> 00:13:12,293 Mm, mm. 364 00:13:12,325 --> 00:13:14,285 Just one second, okay. - Sure, sure. 365 00:13:18,598 --> 00:13:18,968 . 366 00:13:18,999 --> 00:13:19,899 - * Jebediah Grey's got a baby on the way * 367 00:13:21,401 --> 00:13:23,101 * Oh goodness me 368 00:13:23,136 --> 00:13:25,236 * A papa he will be 369 00:13:25,272 --> 00:13:27,542 * For the lord-- 370 00:13:27,574 --> 00:13:28,444 Dina? 371 00:13:32,545 --> 00:13:35,175 Oh, yeah, I guess I fell asleep. 372 00:13:35,215 --> 00:13:37,845 Oh wow, I feel rested. 373 00:13:37,885 --> 00:13:39,515 You know, some of my birds have night terrors, 374 00:13:39,552 --> 00:13:41,492 so it's usually hard for me to get that deep REM. 375 00:13:41,521 --> 00:13:43,291 - Well, ah, that's, that's great. 376 00:13:43,323 --> 00:13:45,333 I'm glad you got some rest. 377 00:13:45,358 --> 00:13:47,258 Yeah, why don't you, uh, you know, 378 00:13:47,294 --> 00:13:49,264 get changed and we'll get to work, huh? 379 00:13:49,296 --> 00:13:50,496 - Yeah, okay. 380 00:13:50,530 --> 00:13:52,870 - Hey, it's gonna be a big day. 381 00:13:52,900 --> 00:13:53,830 Quarterlies are due. 382 00:13:53,867 --> 00:13:56,137 Plus, we're doing double coupons on catheters, 383 00:13:56,169 --> 00:13:57,469 and at least two retirement homes 384 00:13:57,504 --> 00:13:59,114 are bussing in the oldies. 385 00:13:59,139 --> 00:14:01,239 Ooh, boy. 386 00:14:01,274 --> 00:14:03,014 - Oh, I... 387 00:14:03,043 --> 00:14:04,513 Just got this feeling like a marble 388 00:14:04,544 --> 00:14:06,884 rolling around in my uterus, I mean, 389 00:14:06,914 --> 00:14:08,954 gosh, I wonder what that's about. 390 00:14:08,982 --> 00:14:10,182 Probably nothing. 391 00:14:10,217 --> 00:14:11,887 Anyway, up and at 'em. 392 00:14:11,919 --> 00:14:14,119 - No, no, no, no, you stay on that couch! 393 00:14:14,154 --> 00:14:15,424 That sweet little marble 394 00:14:15,455 --> 00:14:16,915 is the only thing that matters. 395 00:14:16,957 --> 00:14:19,227 - Okay, I mean, I will continue to lay, 396 00:14:19,259 --> 00:14:20,589 but only if that's what you want. 397 00:14:20,627 --> 00:14:21,897 - I do. 398 00:14:21,929 --> 00:14:23,359 You relax. 399 00:14:23,396 --> 00:14:25,296 - Hey, would you mind grabbing me 400 00:14:25,332 --> 00:14:27,172 some wet wipes and a bottle of Febreze? 401 00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:30,000 I wanna take a little whore's bath before the store opens. 402 00:14:33,606 --> 00:14:35,976 - Well, hey there, brown hair. 403 00:14:36,009 --> 00:14:37,239 - Hi. 404 00:14:37,277 --> 00:14:38,947 - Hi. 405 00:14:38,979 --> 00:14:40,679 - Okay, bye. 406 00:14:40,713 --> 00:14:44,123 - Well, I woke up feeling very satisfied this morning. 407 00:14:44,151 --> 00:14:46,121 Must've been the great night I had last night. 408 00:14:46,153 --> 00:14:49,023 - Cool, um, I threw up in my driveway. 409 00:14:49,056 --> 00:14:50,016 - Oof. 410 00:14:50,057 --> 00:14:51,057 - So, um, Tate, 411 00:14:51,091 --> 00:14:54,291 last night was fun and impulsive. 412 00:14:54,327 --> 00:14:56,057 - Mm-hmm. - And expensive. 413 00:14:56,096 --> 00:14:58,466 - Yeah, sorry I forgot my credit card. 414 00:14:58,498 --> 00:15:00,198 - Yeah, uh, 415 00:15:00,233 --> 00:15:02,943 but I think it would be great if we kept it between us. 416 00:15:02,970 --> 00:15:04,400 You know how people around here 417 00:15:04,437 --> 00:15:07,067 talk and gossip, and we don't want that, so-- 418 00:15:07,107 --> 00:15:08,077 - Understood. 419 00:15:08,108 --> 00:15:09,438 Your secret's safe with me. 420 00:15:09,476 --> 00:15:12,276 When I journal about this-- and I will-- 421 00:15:12,312 --> 00:15:15,222 I will call you Consuela. 422 00:15:15,248 --> 00:15:16,218 - Okay. 423 00:15:16,249 --> 00:15:19,149 - Adios, Consuela. 424 00:15:22,355 --> 00:15:24,085 - Protip--if you cup the mic, 425 00:15:24,124 --> 00:15:25,734 you get a nice voice-of-God effect. 426 00:15:25,758 --> 00:15:27,358 - Oh, why don't you go out to Los Angeles 427 00:15:27,394 --> 00:15:28,964 and give Laura Dern some acting tips? 428 00:15:28,996 --> 00:15:30,696 - Always with Laura Dern. - She's amazing. 429 00:15:30,730 --> 00:15:33,530 - Okay, I gotta go feed Dina's birds, 430 00:15:33,566 --> 00:15:35,396 so today's the same as yesterday. 431 00:15:35,435 --> 00:15:36,635 Garrett, you're AM, 432 00:15:36,669 --> 00:15:38,369 Jonah and Kelly, you're on announcements. 433 00:15:38,405 --> 00:15:39,635 - Wait, no, I just-- - No. no. 434 00:15:39,672 --> 00:15:41,172 I don't have time to argue, okay? 435 00:15:41,208 --> 00:15:46,108 I gotta go Google how to give insulin to a parrot. 436 00:15:47,380 --> 00:15:49,120 - So, this is my cousin, Nestor. 437 00:15:49,149 --> 00:15:50,519 He is studying to be a receptionist, 438 00:15:50,550 --> 00:15:52,250 and he sleeps on the top bunk. 439 00:15:52,285 --> 00:15:53,715 - Hard pass. 440 00:15:53,753 --> 00:15:55,463 Okay, you can't just wait for the Rogelios of the world. 441 00:15:55,488 --> 00:15:56,588 you gotta lower the bar a little. 442 00:15:56,623 --> 00:15:58,363 - Yeah, eventually you're gonna 443 00:15:58,391 --> 00:16:00,261 have to put yourself back out there. 444 00:16:00,293 --> 00:16:02,163 - Okay, 445 00:16:02,195 --> 00:16:04,355 not that it's any of your business, 446 00:16:04,397 --> 00:16:07,267 but, um, last night, 447 00:16:07,300 --> 00:16:08,740 I did put myself out there. 448 00:16:08,768 --> 00:16:11,138 With who? 449 00:16:11,171 --> 00:16:12,641 - Doesn't matter, all you need to know 450 00:16:12,672 --> 00:16:14,542 is that I can definitely do better than Nestor. 451 00:16:16,309 --> 00:16:18,009 - Guy. 452 00:16:18,045 --> 00:16:20,145 - Yes, but I really shouldn't-- 453 00:16:20,180 --> 00:16:22,650 - Sometimes, I don't know. We're not playing "Guess Who?" 454 00:16:22,682 --> 00:16:25,122 'Cause I've been shipping you guys. 455 00:16:25,152 --> 00:16:26,222 - No. 456 00:16:26,253 --> 00:16:27,793 - Oh, my God, did you have a three 457 00:16:27,820 --> 00:16:29,620 These are your guesses? 458 00:16:29,656 --> 00:16:32,556 No, it was somebody better-looking, 459 00:16:32,592 --> 00:16:34,462 someone more on my level. 460 00:16:34,494 --> 00:16:36,164 - Marcus. - Cody. 461 00:16:36,196 --> 00:16:37,796 Mary. - Okay, it was Tate. 462 00:16:37,830 --> 00:16:39,730 - You bitch. 463 00:16:39,766 --> 00:16:41,596 - Yeah, and it wasn't a big deal, 464 00:16:41,634 --> 00:16:43,704 and technically, he's a ten, 465 00:16:43,736 --> 00:16:45,306 and he was totally into it. 466 00:16:45,338 --> 00:16:49,038 So, maybe do the math on that. 467 00:16:50,410 --> 00:16:52,210 So, hang on now, 468 00:16:52,245 --> 00:16:54,175 Sandra, you're from Hawaii, 469 00:16:54,214 --> 00:16:55,454 but you've never been to the beach? 470 00:16:56,716 --> 00:16:59,446 - No, I am deathly afraid of the water. 471 00:16:59,486 --> 00:17:00,716 Never even saw the ocean. 472 00:17:00,753 --> 00:17:02,723 - Wow, that is too much. 473 00:17:02,755 --> 00:17:04,585 Now, are you afraid of all water, 474 00:17:04,624 --> 00:17:06,494 or just the ocean? 475 00:17:06,526 --> 00:17:09,326 - I'd like to answer your question with another question. 476 00:17:09,362 --> 00:17:10,702 Where do hermit crabs live? 477 00:17:10,730 --> 00:17:12,370 - Get a load of her. 478 00:17:13,633 --> 00:17:15,203 You know what I mean? 479 00:17:15,235 --> 00:17:18,065 - * I put my hand up on your hip * 480 00:17:18,105 --> 00:17:19,565 * When I dip you dip we dip * 481 00:17:19,606 --> 00:17:21,566 * You put your 482 00:17:21,608 --> 00:17:23,508 - There she is. 483 00:17:23,543 --> 00:17:25,153 So, I was thinking that maybe we could 484 00:17:25,178 --> 00:17:27,208 head up the Delta Sky Lounge, 485 00:17:27,247 --> 00:17:29,747 drop some miles at the bar, see where it goes. 486 00:17:29,782 --> 00:17:32,192 - Tate, I was thinking. 487 00:17:32,219 --> 00:17:37,089 - Maybe we should just keep last night as a one-time thing. 488 00:17:37,124 --> 00:17:38,064 - Oh. 489 00:17:38,091 --> 00:17:40,191 - It's just that, like, I was in a weird place 490 00:17:40,227 --> 00:17:42,157 and I was sort of feeling down on myself, 491 00:17:42,195 --> 00:17:43,495 and people even in this store were saying, 492 00:17:43,530 --> 00:17:44,660 like, I couldn't bag a ten. 493 00:17:44,697 --> 00:17:45,867 - Okay, so, 494 00:17:45,898 --> 00:17:47,468 I was just some kind of trophy 495 00:17:47,500 --> 00:17:48,470 for you to wave around to your friends? 496 00:17:48,501 --> 00:17:49,541 Is that it, huh? 497 00:17:49,569 --> 00:17:50,769 Another notch in your bedpost? 498 00:17:50,803 --> 00:17:52,573 Shh, shh, no. 499 00:17:52,605 --> 00:17:55,375 Tate, can we please just not make a scene? 500 00:17:55,408 --> 00:17:56,678 - Well, well, well. 501 00:17:56,709 --> 00:17:59,149 Look who banged the pharmacist. - Yeah. 502 00:17:59,179 --> 00:18:01,579 - I guess sometimes Kermit goes home with Beaker. 503 00:18:05,385 --> 00:18:05,515 . 504 00:18:05,552 --> 00:18:06,392 - I thought you didn't date people from work. 505 00:18:07,854 --> 00:18:09,364 - I didn't, I don't, we're not dating. 506 00:18:09,389 --> 00:18:10,719 - Oh, no, you made that abundantly clear. 507 00:18:10,757 --> 00:18:12,187 I guess I'm just a human vibrator, 508 00:18:12,225 --> 00:18:13,355 built for Amy's pleasure. 509 00:18:13,393 --> 00:18:15,903 - Okay, um, could we just, you know, 510 00:18:15,928 --> 00:18:17,758 this is a very public space. 511 00:18:17,797 --> 00:18:19,467 - May I remind you that I had dibs, 512 00:18:19,499 --> 00:18:22,469 so whatever you did with him, you also have to do with me. 513 00:18:22,502 --> 00:18:23,672 Yep, that's what's fair. 514 00:18:23,703 --> 00:18:24,773 - Um, that's not a thing. 515 00:18:24,804 --> 00:18:26,314 - But you promised. 516 00:18:26,339 --> 00:18:27,639 - Oh, so you're just tossing that cat around, 517 00:18:27,674 --> 00:18:28,914 but Nestor can't get a turn. 518 00:18:28,941 --> 00:18:32,551 - I'm not tossing anything around, 519 00:18:32,579 --> 00:18:36,149 and I don't want to be dating anyone anywhere. 520 00:18:36,183 --> 00:18:37,353 - Well, that's not how it seemed yesterday. 521 00:18:37,384 --> 00:18:38,624 You were totally hitting on me. 522 00:18:39,952 --> 00:18:40,922 - It's a store, I'm allowed to be here. 523 00:18:40,953 --> 00:18:42,193 - Unbelievable. 524 00:18:42,222 --> 00:18:43,462 - Someone's thirsty. 525 00:18:43,490 --> 00:18:44,490 - Guys, enough. 526 00:18:44,524 --> 00:18:45,794 Look, I had dibs, 527 00:18:45,825 --> 00:18:49,895 so the order goes me, beard guy, then Nestor, 528 00:18:49,929 --> 00:18:51,699 before we come back around to Tate again. 529 00:18:53,233 --> 00:18:54,333 - Amy hooked up with Tate, 530 00:18:54,367 --> 00:18:55,637 and then asked bearded guy out 531 00:18:55,668 --> 00:18:56,738 even though Marcus has dibs. 532 00:18:56,769 --> 00:18:57,769 Nestor's still in the mix, 533 00:18:57,804 --> 00:18:59,244 and that woman needs Tide, 534 00:18:59,272 --> 00:19:00,742 but no one's helping her. 535 00:19:02,675 --> 00:19:03,905 - Um, I-- 536 00:19:03,943 --> 00:19:07,313 - I mean, wow, it's a big day for you. 537 00:19:07,347 --> 00:19:09,377 - Maybe you need to take a little break from dating 538 00:19:09,416 --> 00:19:10,476 and get tested. 539 00:19:10,517 --> 00:19:11,947 - I can't take a break from dating 540 00:19:11,984 --> 00:19:13,654 because I never started dating. 541 00:19:13,686 --> 00:19:16,486 - Yeah, guys, she's just banging out dudes right now. 542 00:19:16,523 --> 00:19:17,893 - Bzz, bzz, bzz. 543 00:19:17,924 --> 00:19:19,794 Human vibrator reporting for duty. 544 00:19:19,826 --> 00:19:21,526 Yeah, turn me on, use me up, 545 00:19:21,561 --> 00:19:22,831 and chuck me back in the drawer. 546 00:19:22,862 --> 00:19:24,232 - I just want the Tide. 547 00:19:24,264 --> 00:19:26,274 - Aisle 17. Stop ruining this. 548 00:19:26,299 --> 00:19:30,599 - Yep, get back in there. 549 00:19:30,637 --> 00:19:32,907 Ohh, mama. 550 00:19:32,939 --> 00:19:34,739 I think I wanna call Jerusha 551 00:19:34,774 --> 00:19:36,284 and tell her what we're doing. 552 00:19:36,309 --> 00:19:39,249 - Already called her. She's cool with it. 553 00:19:40,747 --> 00:19:42,417 There it is. 554 00:19:42,449 --> 00:19:43,419 Yeah... 555 00:19:50,557 --> 00:19:51,787 - Hey, Garrett. 556 00:19:51,824 --> 00:19:53,394 So, softlines is all good. 557 00:19:53,426 --> 00:19:54,656 Could I maybe take an early lunch? 558 00:19:54,694 --> 00:19:55,804 My cat's in the hospice. 559 00:19:55,828 --> 00:19:57,328 - No, if I let you leave early, 560 00:19:57,364 --> 00:19:58,574 then I have to take somebody off register, 561 00:19:58,598 --> 00:19:59,898 to cover your section. 562 00:19:59,932 --> 00:20:01,902 - Yeah, but this is my last chance to say goodbye. 563 00:20:01,934 --> 00:20:05,844 - Shut up, Sandra! 564 00:20:05,872 --> 00:20:07,772 I'm not-- 565 00:20:07,807 --> 00:20:10,707 this is not-- 566 00:20:10,743 --> 00:20:12,253 here, you take it. 567 00:20:12,279 --> 00:20:13,609 You be the assistant manager. 568 00:20:14,647 --> 00:20:16,877 - Just take it! 569 00:20:22,389 --> 00:20:23,859 - Cloud 9's new bath towels 570 00:20:23,890 --> 00:20:26,590 are extra fluffy and made from recycled other towels. 571 00:20:26,626 --> 00:20:27,826 And here to talk to us about them 572 00:20:27,860 --> 00:20:30,500 is famous actor, Al Pacino. 573 00:20:30,530 --> 00:20:32,470 How's Hollywood, Al? 574 00:20:32,499 --> 00:20:35,639 - Oh, uh, these towels are great. 575 00:20:35,668 --> 00:20:37,868 Hoo-ah. 576 00:20:39,306 --> 00:20:40,866 Oh, yeah, yeah, I'm just, 577 00:20:40,907 --> 00:20:42,877 I'm not really feeling it, so... 578 00:20:42,909 --> 00:20:46,649 - Oh, okay. 579 00:20:46,679 --> 00:20:48,449 If you like towels, 580 00:20:48,481 --> 00:20:49,521 then, uh, 581 00:20:49,549 --> 00:20:51,979 this is "The Godfather" of towels. 582 00:20:52,018 --> 00:20:54,888 You can use them to clean up your "Scarface." 583 00:20:54,921 --> 00:20:58,331 - That is not good. 584 00:20:58,358 --> 00:21:01,588 - These towels are 40% off. 585 00:21:02,895 --> 00:21:05,895 These towels are 40% off. 586 00:21:05,932 --> 00:21:08,032 And even if it's not a question, 587 00:21:08,067 --> 00:21:09,767 you gotta end up here. 588 00:21:09,802 --> 00:21:11,042 But then you're down, 589 00:21:11,070 --> 00:21:12,470 then you're down here. 590 00:21:12,505 --> 00:21:13,905 Because when you were younger, 591 00:21:13,940 --> 00:21:14,970 when you were in "Serpico"-- 592 00:21:15,007 --> 00:21:16,407 - No... 593 00:21:16,443 --> 00:21:19,913 - Hoo-ah, I'm just getting warmed up. 594 00:21:19,946 --> 00:21:22,546 - Al Pacino, everyone. He's back.