1 00:00:01,369 --> 00:00:01,539 . 2 00:00:01,569 --> 00:00:03,039 - A few last bits of housekeeping-- 3 00:00:03,071 --> 00:00:04,171 We switched the aisle six endcaps, so don't be alarmed. 4 00:00:06,574 --> 00:00:10,644 The softball team will once again not be happening. 5 00:00:10,678 --> 00:00:12,808 And lastly, uh-- 6 00:00:12,846 --> 00:00:17,246 We found out that Jerusha has an abnormally shaped uterus 7 00:00:17,285 --> 00:00:19,615 which will prevent her from getting pregnant. 8 00:00:19,653 --> 00:00:21,523 So if any of you know any women 9 00:00:21,555 --> 00:00:26,325 who might like to carry our baby, you know, let me know. 10 00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:28,430 Any questions about softball? 11 00:00:28,462 --> 00:00:29,402 - [sighs] 12 00:00:29,430 --> 00:00:32,100 - Okay then, well, Jeff, the floor is yours. 13 00:00:32,133 --> 00:00:35,173 - Yeah, thank you. 14 00:00:36,204 --> 00:00:37,714 Thank you for that warm reception. 15 00:00:37,738 --> 00:00:39,438 - I mean, you're here a lot. 16 00:00:39,473 --> 00:00:40,843 - True. Today's not about me, though. 17 00:00:40,874 --> 00:00:42,714 It's about something big. 18 00:00:42,743 --> 00:00:44,113 Bigger than all of us. 19 00:00:44,145 --> 00:00:45,145 - Is it your forehead? 20 00:00:45,179 --> 00:00:46,809 - No. Hi, Mateo. 21 00:00:46,847 --> 00:00:48,417 Um, sales are up this quarter. 22 00:00:48,449 --> 00:00:51,519 We are within $80,000 of reclassification. 23 00:00:51,552 --> 00:00:53,392 If we can make that by the end of the day, 24 00:00:53,421 --> 00:00:57,061 we will go from being a triple-A store to a... 25 00:00:58,792 --> 00:01:00,662 See where I'm going? - No. 26 00:01:00,694 --> 00:01:03,304 - Reclassified as a... 27 00:01:03,331 --> 00:01:05,301 - Nobody's following you. Just finish. 28 00:01:05,333 --> 00:01:09,243 - Quadruple-A, guys. We're gonna be a Quad-A store. 29 00:01:09,270 --> 00:01:11,470 We're gonna be a high volume store. 30 00:01:11,505 --> 00:01:13,705 Whoo! Huh? 31 00:01:13,741 --> 00:01:15,781 Any questions? Garrett. 32 00:01:15,809 --> 00:01:17,609 - Abnormally shaped how? 33 00:01:17,645 --> 00:01:20,445 - Oh, okay, well, if a woman's uterus is normally shaped 34 00:01:20,481 --> 00:01:23,681 like a V, Jerusha's is kinda like a corkscrew. 35 00:01:23,717 --> 00:01:26,417 Kinda like a duck's. Wait, I'll--I'll draw it. 36 00:01:26,454 --> 00:01:28,194 - I meant questions about the reclassification. 37 00:01:28,222 --> 00:01:29,492 - What are we now? 38 00:01:29,523 --> 00:01:32,193 - Well, we're triple-A. I just said that. 39 00:01:32,226 --> 00:01:34,456 - So this would be one more A then? 40 00:01:34,495 --> 00:01:35,655 - Exactly. 41 00:01:35,696 --> 00:01:37,766 Believe me, you guys are gonna love this. 42 00:01:37,798 --> 00:01:39,398 - So do we get anything or-- 43 00:01:39,433 --> 00:01:40,533 - Yes, you get a sense of pride, 44 00:01:40,568 --> 00:01:42,338 a sense of accomplishment. 45 00:01:42,370 --> 00:01:44,240 Quad-A stores are the first to feature new products. 46 00:01:44,272 --> 00:01:45,742 Once they take our cafeteria 47 00:01:45,773 --> 00:01:47,543 and transfer it into a Pizza Hut, there's gonna be-- 48 00:01:47,575 --> 00:01:49,875 - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Did you just say Pizza Hut? 49 00:01:49,910 --> 00:01:53,280 - Yeah. [excited chatter] 50 00:01:53,314 --> 00:01:55,784 - Like we're famous or something? 51 00:01:55,816 --> 00:01:57,616 - Uh, a point of clarification, Jeff, 52 00:01:57,651 --> 00:02:00,251 would it have the soda too? 53 00:02:00,288 --> 00:02:02,388 - Yeah, I believe so. [excited chatter] 54 00:02:02,423 --> 00:02:03,763 - Oh! 55 00:02:03,791 --> 00:02:07,661 - That's a formal Pizza Hut. [indistinct chatter] 56 00:02:07,695 --> 00:02:09,525 - There she is. 57 00:02:10,964 --> 00:02:14,374 [upbeat music] 58 00:02:15,869 --> 00:02:18,669 [lively percussive music] 59 00:02:18,706 --> 00:02:19,666 * 60 00:02:19,707 --> 00:02:21,237 - Give me the marker 61 00:02:21,275 --> 00:02:23,335 'cause someone just made a thousand dollar sale. 62 00:02:23,377 --> 00:02:24,577 - It was Brett. - I know. 63 00:02:24,612 --> 00:02:26,312 I just like filling in the thermometer. 64 00:02:26,347 --> 00:02:27,347 It's very satisfying. 65 00:02:27,381 --> 00:02:29,381 - Is Pizza Hut that great? 66 00:02:29,417 --> 00:02:31,417 - When you've been here long enough, any change is amazing. 67 00:02:31,452 --> 00:02:33,292 Plus, it's like, Where do you work? Cloud 9. 68 00:02:33,321 --> 00:02:34,561 The regular one? 69 00:02:34,588 --> 00:02:36,388 Uh, no, the one with the Pizza Hut. 70 00:02:36,424 --> 00:02:39,694 - It just--it seems odd that Jeff waited until today 71 00:02:39,727 --> 00:02:40,927 to tell us about all this. 72 00:02:40,961 --> 00:02:42,561 And he was selling it so hard. 73 00:02:42,596 --> 00:02:43,796 "Believe me, you're gonna love it." 74 00:02:43,831 --> 00:02:45,331 That's what my dad said 75 00:02:45,366 --> 00:02:46,896 before he moved out and got his own place. 76 00:02:46,934 --> 00:02:48,874 - Oh, boo-hoo, poor Jonah. 77 00:02:48,902 --> 00:02:50,242 Both of his parents were homeowners. 78 00:02:50,271 --> 00:02:51,541 What a tragedy. 79 00:02:51,572 --> 00:02:52,812 - Actually, it was his friend's condo. 80 00:02:52,840 --> 00:02:54,280 That's not gonna help. 81 00:02:54,308 --> 00:02:55,608 - You're just looking for problems. 82 00:02:55,643 --> 00:02:58,413 - Maybe, but there's a Quad-A in Crestwood. 83 00:02:58,446 --> 00:03:00,376 We could go over there at lunch. 84 00:03:00,414 --> 00:03:02,524 Check it out, maybe. Just to be safe. 85 00:03:02,550 --> 00:03:04,290 - I mean, it's not the worst idea. 86 00:03:04,318 --> 00:03:08,958 - Hey, keep your eye on the prize, okay? 87 00:03:08,989 --> 00:03:10,959 - That's a good point. - Is it? 88 00:03:10,991 --> 00:03:13,691 - You know, I honestly didn't know how many candidates 89 00:03:13,727 --> 00:03:15,797 we'd get from a Craigslist ad, but-- 90 00:03:15,829 --> 00:03:17,899 - Wonderful things can happen in all sorts of ways. 91 00:03:17,931 --> 00:03:19,631 - I agree. 92 00:03:19,667 --> 00:03:22,467 But you did see the part where we said we couldn't afford 93 00:03:22,503 --> 00:03:24,313 the going rate for surrogates? 94 00:03:24,338 --> 00:03:28,438 I mean, I know the agencies say it could be as much as $50,000. 95 00:03:28,476 --> 00:03:30,336 But we've only saved 20. 96 00:03:30,378 --> 00:03:32,648 - Oh, 20's more than enough. 97 00:03:32,680 --> 00:03:34,320 - Oh. 98 00:03:34,348 --> 00:03:36,448 Of which we can only give you 15. 99 00:03:36,484 --> 00:03:37,754 - It's not a problem. 100 00:03:37,785 --> 00:03:39,645 - Sorry, I meant ten. - That's low, so-- 101 00:03:39,687 --> 00:03:42,317 - Okay, no, 15, 15, 15. We agree on 15. 102 00:03:42,356 --> 00:03:44,386 - Great. - Okay. 103 00:03:44,425 --> 00:03:46,455 - You should go with this one. 104 00:03:46,494 --> 00:03:47,304 It's 4K. 105 00:03:47,328 --> 00:03:49,598 - What does 4K mean? 106 00:03:49,630 --> 00:03:52,830 - Oh, um, 107 00:03:52,866 --> 00:03:56,736 The first K is "knowledge." 108 00:03:56,770 --> 00:03:58,370 And then the second K-- 109 00:03:58,406 --> 00:04:01,406 - 4K televisions have 8.3 megapixels. 110 00:04:01,442 --> 00:04:03,412 The human eye is literally incapable 111 00:04:03,444 --> 00:04:05,454 of appreciating a finer resolution than this. 112 00:04:05,479 --> 00:04:08,249 - Wow. Okay, I'll take it. 113 00:04:10,718 --> 00:04:13,618 - There you go. - Thank you. 114 00:04:13,654 --> 00:04:16,764 - It has all of the channels. 115 00:04:16,790 --> 00:04:18,630 - Okay, so Charles Marquard, 116 00:04:18,659 --> 00:04:20,759 this is your American Express Business card. 117 00:04:20,794 --> 00:04:22,004 - Yep. 118 00:04:22,029 --> 00:04:23,799 - And you don't have an ID with you. 119 00:04:23,831 --> 00:04:25,571 - Left it at the office. 120 00:04:25,599 --> 00:04:29,039 - You'd like to purchase an Xbox One and a pile of candy. 121 00:04:29,069 --> 00:04:30,969 - Yeah, you know, for the kids. 122 00:04:31,004 --> 00:04:33,074 - What kinda business you in? 123 00:04:33,106 --> 00:04:35,376 - Oil and gas. 124 00:04:35,409 --> 00:04:36,779 - Oh, you know if it was me, 125 00:04:36,810 --> 00:04:39,380 I might pick up a second Xbox to have one upstairs, 126 00:04:39,413 --> 00:04:41,453 have one downstairs. - Okay. 127 00:04:41,482 --> 00:04:44,392 - You're a good dad, Mr. Marquard. 128 00:04:44,418 --> 00:04:47,388 [upbeat pop music] 129 00:04:47,421 --> 00:04:52,561 * 130 00:04:52,593 --> 00:04:55,563 - Okay, as soon as we hit $80,000, drop the balloons, 131 00:04:55,596 --> 00:04:57,466 hit the music, get a candid picture of me 132 00:04:57,498 --> 00:04:58,768 celebrating with everybody to send to corporate. 133 00:04:58,799 --> 00:05:01,369 - Got it, got it. Hey, now let's talk dancers. 134 00:05:01,402 --> 00:05:04,412 How many are we talking? And--all dudes? 135 00:05:04,438 --> 00:05:05,668 - Maybe no dancers. 136 00:05:05,706 --> 00:05:07,636 - Music and balloons with no dancers? 137 00:05:07,675 --> 00:05:10,475 That's--gonna look insane, but fine. 138 00:05:10,511 --> 00:05:13,481 - Jeff. Uh, new hat? 139 00:05:13,514 --> 00:05:14,924 - Yeah. I splurged. 140 00:05:14,948 --> 00:05:17,618 You know, it's a huge day. It's a very huge day. 141 00:05:17,651 --> 00:05:19,551 - Definitely. Um, we were wondering 142 00:05:19,587 --> 00:05:21,917 if you could maybe tell us a little bit more 143 00:05:21,955 --> 00:05:25,085 about what we can expect once this store becomes Quad-A. 144 00:05:25,125 --> 00:05:27,625 - Oh, uh, well, yeah, I mean, 145 00:05:27,661 --> 00:05:29,601 things are pretty much gonna be the same. 146 00:05:29,630 --> 00:05:31,970 - Well, but earlier you said it would be better. 147 00:05:31,999 --> 00:05:33,729 - Yes, obviously better. 148 00:05:33,767 --> 00:05:35,997 Better and the same. - Nice. 149 00:05:36,036 --> 00:05:36,996 [chuckles] That sounds amazing. 150 00:05:37,037 --> 00:05:38,667 - Right. 151 00:05:38,706 --> 00:05:42,576 Is there any possibility that it could maybe get worse? 152 00:05:42,610 --> 00:05:45,850 - You know what, there's a lot of liars out there, okay? 153 00:05:45,879 --> 00:05:48,379 Look for people who have scores to settle, perhaps. 154 00:05:48,416 --> 00:05:49,976 And don't believe everything you hear. 155 00:05:50,017 --> 00:05:51,847 - What would we have heard? 156 00:05:51,885 --> 00:05:53,845 - Oh, I don't know, but whatever it is, 157 00:05:53,887 --> 00:05:54,987 it would've been untrue. 158 00:05:55,022 --> 00:05:56,722 That's why it's a paradox. 159 00:05:56,757 --> 00:05:58,587 [laughing mockingly] 160 00:05:59,126 --> 00:06:01,526 Believe me. It's gonna be great. 161 00:06:01,562 --> 00:06:03,762 Trust me. 162 00:06:03,797 --> 00:06:07,497 - Man, I can't wait for it to be great. 163 00:06:08,636 --> 00:06:10,466 - So, what's next? 164 00:06:10,504 --> 00:06:12,474 - You write me a check and I can have a baby for you 165 00:06:12,506 --> 00:06:13,666 in as little as a week. 166 00:06:14,708 --> 00:06:16,608 - A week? - Oh, is that too long? 167 00:06:16,644 --> 00:06:17,614 I mean, if you're really impatient, 168 00:06:17,645 --> 00:06:18,945 I can get you one earlier, 169 00:06:18,979 --> 00:06:20,909 but you're not gonna get to choose the color. 170 00:06:23,517 --> 00:06:25,687 - Turns out that when you can't pay top dollar, 171 00:06:25,719 --> 00:06:28,489 the surrogates you get are just a bunch of plops. 172 00:06:28,522 --> 00:06:30,092 - Aw, I'm sure you'll find someone. 173 00:06:30,123 --> 00:06:31,533 - I don't know. 174 00:06:31,559 --> 00:06:34,029 Sometimes I think that maybe God is trying 175 00:06:34,061 --> 00:06:37,031 to send me a message that people in their late 50s 176 00:06:37,064 --> 00:06:38,704 shouldn't conceive a child. 177 00:06:38,732 --> 00:06:40,632 - [snickers] That's crazy talk. 178 00:06:40,668 --> 00:06:43,168 You guys are gonna have a killer baby. 179 00:06:43,203 --> 00:06:44,713 Everyone's gonna wanna carry it. 180 00:06:44,738 --> 00:06:47,068 - Yeah, right. Would you? 181 00:06:47,107 --> 00:06:48,677 - Of course, I would. 182 00:06:50,210 --> 00:06:52,150 - Really? You mean that? 183 00:06:52,179 --> 00:06:54,749 - Absolutely. - [gasps] 184 00:06:56,750 --> 00:06:59,050 Thank you! Oh, my God. 185 00:06:59,086 --> 00:07:00,516 [lively music] 186 00:07:00,554 --> 00:07:04,934 Jerusha, this is a blessed day. I found her. 187 00:07:08,161 --> 00:07:08,531 . 188 00:07:08,562 --> 00:07:09,062 - Wow, it is busy here. 189 00:07:10,931 --> 00:07:12,701 - Is it always like this? 190 00:07:12,733 --> 00:07:17,073 - Welcome to the show, people. Welcome to the show. 191 00:07:17,104 --> 00:07:18,914 - Excuse me, hi, sorry to interrupt. 192 00:07:18,939 --> 00:07:20,809 Uh, can I ask you a question? - Oh, sure. 193 00:07:20,841 --> 00:07:22,811 - Do you like working here? 194 00:07:22,843 --> 00:07:24,683 - I love working here. 195 00:07:24,712 --> 00:07:26,112 It's the best job I've ever had. 196 00:07:26,146 --> 00:07:28,176 - Great. Thank you. - Have a heavenly day. 197 00:07:28,215 --> 00:07:31,115 - All right. See? Best job she's ever had? 198 00:07:31,151 --> 00:07:33,721 Where I come from, something being the best thing 199 00:07:33,754 --> 00:07:35,124 usually means it's pretty good. 200 00:07:35,155 --> 00:07:37,485 - Oh, hey, sorry, just out of curiosity, 201 00:07:37,525 --> 00:07:41,255 what's, uh, what's the worst part of your job? 202 00:07:41,294 --> 00:07:44,134 - No part. It's wonderful. 203 00:07:44,164 --> 00:07:45,904 It's the best job I've ever had. 204 00:07:45,933 --> 00:07:47,773 Have a heavenly day. 205 00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:49,001 - Did you hear that? That was-- 206 00:07:49,036 --> 00:07:50,596 That was two "best job I ever hads" 207 00:07:50,638 --> 00:07:52,868 - It's a colloquialism. Like, "It is what it is." 208 00:07:52,906 --> 00:07:54,036 Or, "Women be shopping." 209 00:07:54,074 --> 00:07:55,914 - Excuse me. Hi. 210 00:07:55,943 --> 00:07:57,753 Um, how long have you been working here? 211 00:07:57,778 --> 00:07:59,978 - Well, it's been the best job I've ever had 212 00:08:00,013 --> 00:08:01,983 for about 4 1/2 years. 213 00:08:02,015 --> 00:08:03,915 Best job I've ever had. 214 00:08:03,951 --> 00:08:06,151 Have a heavenly day. 215 00:08:06,186 --> 00:08:08,956 - People love it here. Obviously. 216 00:08:08,989 --> 00:08:12,189 [upright bass music] 217 00:08:14,728 --> 00:08:15,698 [shutter clicks] - Ah! 218 00:08:15,729 --> 00:08:17,199 - Oh, sorry about that. 219 00:08:17,230 --> 00:08:21,840 Jerusha is making embroidery of your face on a rabbit's body. 220 00:08:21,869 --> 00:08:23,239 - Mm. - To say thank you. 221 00:08:23,270 --> 00:08:25,310 You know, and she wanted something she could work with. 222 00:08:25,338 --> 00:08:27,908 Could you profile? [camera shutter clicks] 223 00:08:27,941 --> 00:08:30,311 - So Jerusha's on board? - Yeah. 224 00:08:30,343 --> 00:08:34,953 It just means so much to us that you're willing to do this. 225 00:08:34,982 --> 00:08:36,852 - Means so much to me. 226 00:08:36,884 --> 00:08:40,994 So she doesn't think that I'm, you know, too young, 227 00:08:41,021 --> 00:08:43,161 or irresponsible? Or stupid? 228 00:08:43,190 --> 00:08:44,490 - No. 229 00:08:44,524 --> 00:08:47,194 - 'Cause, you know, if you guys wanted to go with someone else, 230 00:08:47,227 --> 00:08:49,627 I--I wouldn't be offended. 231 00:08:50,598 --> 00:08:53,068 - Cheyenne, do you still wanna do this? 232 00:08:53,100 --> 00:08:54,800 - Oh-- [laughs nervously] 233 00:08:54,835 --> 00:08:57,965 Yes. Definitely. 234 00:08:58,005 --> 00:08:59,635 Totally. - Great. 235 00:08:59,673 --> 00:09:01,883 - You just, you know, try and stop me. 236 00:09:01,909 --> 00:09:05,149 - I won't. [laughter] 237 00:09:05,178 --> 00:09:07,308 - Yeah. The thing is-- 238 00:09:07,347 --> 00:09:10,747 Um... - Ah, is it Bo? 239 00:09:11,952 --> 00:09:15,222 - Mm-hmm, yeah. It's Bo. 240 00:09:15,255 --> 00:09:17,085 If it were up to me, I would just say, 241 00:09:17,124 --> 00:09:19,894 You put a baby in me right now, mister. 242 00:09:19,927 --> 00:09:24,697 But Bo, he just sucks, you know. 243 00:09:24,732 --> 00:09:28,142 - Yeah. Bo sucks. 244 00:09:36,109 --> 00:09:40,279 - Uh, hey, Len. I'm--I'm Jonah. 245 00:09:40,313 --> 00:09:42,253 How's it going today? 246 00:09:42,282 --> 00:09:45,722 - [whimpering] - Are you okay? 247 00:09:45,753 --> 00:09:47,253 - Mm-hmm. 248 00:09:47,287 --> 00:09:50,157 - Oh, she's fine. She does this every day. 249 00:09:52,793 --> 00:09:53,993 - Nothing. 250 00:09:54,027 --> 00:09:55,227 - You guys aren't supposed to be back here. 251 00:09:55,262 --> 00:09:56,732 - Relax, we're legit. 252 00:09:56,764 --> 00:09:59,074 - We work at the Ozark Highlands store. 253 00:09:59,099 --> 00:10:00,399 And we're about to go Quad-A, 254 00:10:00,433 --> 00:10:02,273 so we just wanted to see what that was like. 255 00:10:02,302 --> 00:10:04,942 - [snickers] They're quaddin' ya, huh? 256 00:10:04,972 --> 00:10:06,772 - Yeah. They're quadding us. 257 00:10:06,807 --> 00:10:09,207 So, um, what's it like? 258 00:10:09,242 --> 00:10:11,712 - Be straight with me. Polo to polo. 259 00:10:11,745 --> 00:10:14,675 - Honestly, you're screwed. 260 00:10:15,949 --> 00:10:18,249 - We cannot become a Quad-A. 261 00:10:18,285 --> 00:10:20,685 - I don't understand. - It's total chaos. 262 00:10:20,721 --> 00:10:22,661 Everyday there is like Black Friday. 263 00:10:22,690 --> 00:10:24,290 It's hell. - Hell on steroids. 264 00:10:24,324 --> 00:10:26,994 - Isn't hell bad enough without adding steroids? 265 00:10:27,027 --> 00:10:29,757 - Everyone there is exhausted all the time. 266 00:10:29,797 --> 00:10:31,297 They are open 24 hours. 267 00:10:31,331 --> 00:10:33,001 Which means they never have a chance to catch up. 268 00:10:33,033 --> 00:10:34,773 - So when do they have time to clean? 269 00:10:34,802 --> 00:10:38,212 - No, guys, we've come too far. We are this close to Quad-A. 270 00:10:38,238 --> 00:10:39,438 Now is not the time to-- 271 00:10:39,472 --> 00:10:41,142 - They don't let employees eat the pizza. 272 00:10:41,174 --> 00:10:43,244 - Withdrawn. - So what do we do? 273 00:10:43,276 --> 00:10:45,046 - We need to slow down sales. 274 00:10:45,078 --> 00:10:47,108 - Guys, when do they have time to clean? 275 00:10:47,147 --> 00:10:48,317 - They don't. 276 00:10:48,348 --> 00:10:49,818 - Well, then it never gets clean. 277 00:10:49,850 --> 00:10:51,380 - All right, you heard Amy, guys, 278 00:10:51,418 --> 00:10:54,448 let's cross that finish line and become Quad-A. 279 00:10:54,487 --> 00:10:56,057 - Marcus, were you even listening? 280 00:10:56,089 --> 00:10:58,329 - Sorry, I got a text earlier. 281 00:10:58,358 --> 00:11:01,058 Honestly, I missed a lot of what you guys were saying. 282 00:11:01,094 --> 00:11:04,334 - * Jah at the controller, Bua bua bua yeah * 283 00:11:04,364 --> 00:11:06,804 * Wha gwan rasta Control the simma * 284 00:11:06,834 --> 00:11:09,304 - Bo? - Oh, yo, what up, spouse? 285 00:11:09,336 --> 00:11:11,466 - What're you doing here? Where's Harmonica? 286 00:11:11,504 --> 00:11:13,274 - Ah, she's at the zoo. She's good. 287 00:11:13,306 --> 00:11:16,076 - Oh, good. Bo's here. 288 00:11:16,109 --> 00:11:19,349 So, why don't we all go have a chat, you know, and-- 289 00:11:19,379 --> 00:11:21,209 see if we can't change your mind? 290 00:11:21,248 --> 00:11:22,778 - Yeah, let's do this. - Okay. 291 00:11:22,816 --> 00:11:24,076 - What're we gonna change my mind about? 292 00:11:24,117 --> 00:11:26,317 - I think you know. - Huh? 293 00:11:31,859 --> 00:11:32,029 . 294 00:11:32,059 --> 00:11:32,789 - Yeah, I called you, and I was like, 295 00:11:34,227 --> 00:11:36,497 "Please, Bo, let me have Glenn's baby." 296 00:11:36,529 --> 00:11:39,369 And you were like, "Nah, girl, no way, no how, okay? 297 00:11:39,399 --> 00:11:41,099 Squash that noise. Peace." 298 00:11:41,134 --> 00:11:43,444 - Wow, that's crazy, 'cause, like, the way I remember it, 299 00:11:43,470 --> 00:11:45,210 that never happened at all. 300 00:11:45,238 --> 00:11:47,168 It's funny how perception is, you know what I'm sayin'? 301 00:11:47,207 --> 00:11:51,077 - Bo, is there anything that Cheyenne and I can say 302 00:11:51,111 --> 00:11:53,111 to help you change your mind? 303 00:11:53,146 --> 00:11:54,476 - Mm, I don't know. 304 00:11:54,514 --> 00:11:57,224 It's like, I wanna be sex-positive, but, like, 305 00:11:57,250 --> 00:11:58,990 on the other side of the hand, 306 00:11:59,019 --> 00:12:01,249 thinking about my wife banging an old couple-- 307 00:12:01,288 --> 00:12:02,758 - No, no, no! 308 00:12:02,790 --> 00:12:04,220 - And would I get to go with Jerusha? 309 00:12:04,257 --> 00:12:06,227 - Almost definitely not. 310 00:12:06,259 --> 00:12:08,329 - Well, I really wanna do this for Glenn. 311 00:12:08,361 --> 00:12:09,831 - Well, I guess I-- 312 00:12:09,863 --> 00:12:11,503 - But I also understand your point that 313 00:12:11,531 --> 00:12:14,131 me having another man's baby might make you look 314 00:12:14,167 --> 00:12:15,767 like some kind of-- 315 00:12:15,803 --> 00:12:18,213 I don't know-- a punk-ass chump or something. 316 00:12:18,238 --> 00:12:20,008 - Yep, uh-huh. 317 00:12:20,040 --> 00:12:21,370 - It--It's okay. 318 00:12:21,408 --> 00:12:24,478 I--I accept your decision and-- 319 00:12:24,511 --> 00:12:26,381 Well, I'm disappointed, you know. 320 00:12:26,413 --> 00:12:29,083 I respect that you guys won't change your morals 321 00:12:29,116 --> 00:12:31,076 for a measly $20,000. 322 00:12:31,118 --> 00:12:33,388 - 20 grand? Huh? 323 00:12:33,420 --> 00:12:35,860 - Of course, for Bo, it's not about the money. 324 00:12:35,889 --> 00:12:37,389 - I didn't know there was money. 325 00:12:37,424 --> 00:12:38,994 I thought this was like a dare or something. 326 00:12:39,026 --> 00:12:41,386 Yo, for 20 grand you can stick whatever you want 327 00:12:41,428 --> 00:12:43,298 in either of us. [laughs] 328 00:12:44,164 --> 00:12:47,004 - Okay, everyone, I made some quick shift assignment changes. 329 00:12:47,034 --> 00:12:49,404 Henry, Elias, you're in ladies' shoes. 330 00:12:49,436 --> 00:12:50,996 Mateo, you're in sports. 331 00:12:51,038 --> 00:12:52,238 - So what do I do? 332 00:12:52,272 --> 00:12:53,842 - Oh, ah, Kelly, you're on register. 333 00:12:53,874 --> 00:12:55,414 - Oh, I've never done that before. 334 00:12:55,442 --> 00:12:57,282 - Oh, I know, you're gonna be so bad at it. 335 00:12:57,310 --> 00:12:58,510 - Hey, Ames, what about me? 336 00:12:58,545 --> 00:13:00,475 - Oh, Marcus, yes, you just float. 337 00:13:00,513 --> 00:13:02,323 I want the customers to feel like you're everywhere. 338 00:13:02,349 --> 00:13:04,119 - Nice. MVP. 339 00:13:04,151 --> 00:13:06,151 - We also need someone to run interference on Jeff. 340 00:13:06,186 --> 00:13:08,416 Just keep him occupied with stories that are boring 341 00:13:08,455 --> 00:13:10,155 that no one would ever care about. 342 00:13:10,190 --> 00:13:13,430 - I--will do my best to act like somebody who does that. 343 00:13:13,460 --> 00:13:15,260 - You don't need to act, I mean, you're brutal-- 344 00:13:15,295 --> 00:13:17,325 - Dina. He knows what he is. 345 00:13:17,364 --> 00:13:18,834 - All right, guys, listen up. 346 00:13:18,866 --> 00:13:20,296 This is not a time for words. 347 00:13:20,333 --> 00:13:21,973 But I should say 348 00:13:22,002 --> 00:13:25,312 that this is a chance for this store to become bigger, 349 00:13:25,338 --> 00:13:27,368 to become more. 350 00:13:27,407 --> 00:13:29,337 But if we work together, 351 00:13:29,376 --> 00:13:31,436 we can stop that from happening. 352 00:13:31,478 --> 00:13:33,448 [chatter] - All right, guys. 353 00:13:33,480 --> 00:13:35,450 Bring it in. On three. 354 00:13:35,482 --> 00:13:36,882 - Okay. - Ow, ow. 355 00:13:36,917 --> 00:13:38,447 - Hold on a sec. - Okay, okay, okay. 356 00:13:38,485 --> 00:13:40,445 - No pushing. - You just stepped on my foot. 357 00:13:40,487 --> 00:13:42,357 - Okay, okay. - Be gentle. 358 00:13:42,389 --> 00:13:44,259 - This is gonna work. 359 00:13:44,291 --> 00:13:47,261 [electronic dance music] 360 00:13:47,294 --> 00:13:52,234 * 361 00:13:52,265 --> 00:13:53,865 - Attention, Cloud 9 shoppers, 362 00:13:53,901 --> 00:13:56,571 there is a carbon monoxide leak in the store. 363 00:13:56,603 --> 00:13:59,543 It's the silent killer, so you're gonna wanna go. 364 00:13:59,572 --> 00:14:02,482 - Buying some apples, huh? [chuckles] 365 00:14:02,509 --> 00:14:05,409 * - Whoops. 366 00:14:05,445 --> 00:14:07,275 Nope. Not that one. 367 00:14:07,314 --> 00:14:08,454 - I mean, maybe it was just who we are 368 00:14:08,481 --> 00:14:10,481 collectively as a nation at the time, 369 00:14:10,517 --> 00:14:13,487 but things just really felt like they could be solved. 370 00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:20,960 * 371 00:14:20,994 --> 00:14:23,364 - I can't let you buy these. - What? Why? 372 00:14:23,396 --> 00:14:25,096 - It's been recalled, sorry. 373 00:14:25,132 --> 00:14:27,502 - All right, now it's buzzing at me like it's mad at me. 374 00:14:27,534 --> 00:14:29,274 [laughs] Or something. 375 00:14:29,302 --> 00:14:30,942 Making some fruit salad? 376 00:14:30,971 --> 00:14:32,941 - My wife needs this. I promised her I'd get it. 377 00:14:32,973 --> 00:14:35,643 - She needs them? Nobody needs coconut shrimp. 378 00:14:35,675 --> 00:14:37,905 - Perhaps we've lost some innocence. 379 00:14:37,945 --> 00:14:40,105 Perhaps the collective zeitgeist of the country 380 00:14:40,147 --> 00:14:41,677 has soured. 381 00:14:41,714 --> 00:14:44,424 - Here, let me help you with that. 382 00:14:44,451 --> 00:14:46,951 * 383 00:14:46,987 --> 00:14:49,987 Whoo! Not today, bro. 384 00:14:50,023 --> 00:14:51,893 - Oh, we're in. 385 00:14:53,093 --> 00:14:55,533 But it's not turning. 386 00:14:55,562 --> 00:14:57,232 Ah. Almost. 387 00:14:57,264 --> 00:14:58,634 - But then it got good again, 388 00:14:58,665 --> 00:15:02,165 so I guess ultimately "Bloodline" was worth watching. 389 00:15:02,469 --> 00:15:03,699 - While that's fascinating, 390 00:15:03,736 --> 00:15:06,106 I'm not sure it constitutes an emergency 391 00:15:06,139 --> 00:15:07,669 that we need to talk about right now, 392 00:15:07,707 --> 00:15:09,307 so I gotta get back in there, okay? 393 00:15:09,342 --> 00:15:11,112 - Wait, no, no, no, wait, no. That wasn't the emergency. 394 00:15:11,144 --> 00:15:14,584 No, that was--that was just pre-emergency small talk. 395 00:15:14,614 --> 00:15:17,024 No, the, um, emergency 396 00:15:17,050 --> 00:15:18,690 is, uh-- 397 00:15:19,987 --> 00:15:21,617 You. 398 00:15:21,654 --> 00:15:23,164 - What're you talking about? 399 00:15:23,190 --> 00:15:25,090 - Aw, Jeff, come on. 400 00:15:25,125 --> 00:15:27,555 You're obviously going through something and--and I-- 401 00:15:27,594 --> 00:15:29,964 I just want you to know that I see you, 402 00:15:29,997 --> 00:15:34,227 and I am here if you ever wanna talk. 403 00:15:36,369 --> 00:15:37,569 - I'd like that. 404 00:15:37,604 --> 00:15:40,274 [stammers] - Oh, you would, yeah, uh-- 405 00:15:40,307 --> 00:15:41,267 Cool. 406 00:15:41,308 --> 00:15:42,578 - I'm torn. 407 00:15:42,609 --> 00:15:44,479 On one hand, that doesn't look good on you. 408 00:15:44,511 --> 00:15:46,281 On the other hand, what would? 409 00:15:48,148 --> 00:15:49,978 - Yes, good work. 410 00:15:50,017 --> 00:15:51,347 - I'm just saying what I feel 411 00:15:51,384 --> 00:15:53,454 and people do not like what they're hearing. 412 00:15:53,486 --> 00:15:56,156 [chuckles] I am a strong cup of coffee. 413 00:15:56,189 --> 00:15:58,689 - We're still under and we only have five minutes till closing. 414 00:15:58,725 --> 00:16:00,185 - We might just crap this bed yet. 415 00:16:00,227 --> 00:16:01,527 [alarm rings] 416 00:16:01,561 --> 00:16:03,961 ["Hot, Hot, Hot" by Buster Poindexter plays] 417 00:16:04,497 --> 00:16:05,727 - What's happening? 418 00:16:05,765 --> 00:16:07,365 - Did we hit our goal? - No, wait. 419 00:16:07,400 --> 00:16:09,740 This has to be a mistake. We're like thousands under. 420 00:16:09,769 --> 00:16:12,339 - No, we're not. I couldn't stop him. 421 00:16:12,372 --> 00:16:14,672 - Hell yeah. [vocalizes alarm] 422 00:16:14,707 --> 00:16:16,637 Hot tub, son. Ha-ha! 423 00:16:16,676 --> 00:16:18,306 Like we always dreamed of. 424 00:16:18,345 --> 00:16:20,345 It's gonna be like living in a Holiday Inn Express. 425 00:16:20,380 --> 00:16:23,350 - We can't afford a hot tub. - We got 20 grand now. 426 00:16:23,383 --> 00:16:25,293 That's literally an infinite amount of money. 427 00:16:25,318 --> 00:16:27,518 - No, Bo, you have to return that right now. 428 00:16:27,554 --> 00:16:30,624 - Can't. It's a floor model. No returns. 429 00:16:30,657 --> 00:16:32,087 - So what does that mean? 430 00:16:32,125 --> 00:16:33,225 * 431 00:16:33,260 --> 00:16:36,400 - Congrats. We're officially Quad-A. 432 00:16:36,429 --> 00:16:38,229 May God have mercy on us all. 433 00:16:38,265 --> 00:16:43,195 - * Feelin' hot, hot, hot 434 00:16:43,236 --> 00:16:46,136 - This is a disaster. Why are you dropping balloons? 435 00:16:46,173 --> 00:16:48,113 It's not my fault canceling balloon drop 436 00:16:48,141 --> 00:16:50,411 looks the exact same as dropping balloons. 437 00:16:53,746 --> 00:16:54,246 . 438 00:16:54,281 --> 00:16:55,221 - You think you know where your life is going. 439 00:16:56,349 --> 00:16:57,679 And then suddenly, you're 40, 440 00:16:57,717 --> 00:16:59,447 running a rat race you don't even understand. 441 00:16:59,486 --> 00:17:00,746 You're trying to fix everything on the outside. 442 00:17:00,787 --> 00:17:02,417 So I get the boots, I get the earring. 443 00:17:02,455 --> 00:17:03,815 I get the lipo. - The hat. 444 00:17:03,856 --> 00:17:06,356 - What's wrong with the hat? The hat's working. 445 00:17:06,393 --> 00:17:09,233 - Exactly. Yeah, nothing. 446 00:17:09,262 --> 00:17:10,562 - Where was I? 447 00:17:10,597 --> 00:17:13,227 - Okay, so I put all the important dates 448 00:17:13,266 --> 00:17:15,296 on this pregnancy calendar, see? 449 00:17:15,335 --> 00:17:18,805 Like the implantation and the ultrasounds. 450 00:17:18,838 --> 00:17:20,608 So I guess you know what you're gonna be doing 451 00:17:20,640 --> 00:17:23,480 with all your free time for the next nine months. 452 00:17:23,510 --> 00:17:27,850 - Great, I'll be pregnant when it's really hot. 453 00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:30,220 That's fun. 454 00:17:31,518 --> 00:17:33,648 - Cheyenne, do you really wanna do this? 455 00:17:33,686 --> 00:17:35,686 - Mm-hmm. 456 00:17:35,722 --> 00:17:37,792 I'm really happy about it. 457 00:17:39,759 --> 00:17:40,859 - The deal's off. 458 00:17:40,893 --> 00:17:42,333 - No, I can do it. 459 00:17:42,362 --> 00:17:43,762 - I don't want you to. 460 00:17:43,796 --> 00:17:47,826 Because I don't want my baby carried by a huge stinker, 461 00:17:47,867 --> 00:17:49,637 like you. - I'm a stinker? 462 00:17:49,669 --> 00:17:51,269 You're a fat bitch. 463 00:17:51,304 --> 00:17:53,814 Oh, wait, you're being nice. 464 00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:56,510 - No, I'm not being nice. I'm being mean. 465 00:17:56,543 --> 00:18:00,153 And--now I don't want a big stinky baby 466 00:18:00,180 --> 00:18:01,850 from a big stinker like you. 467 00:18:01,881 --> 00:18:03,881 Get out of my office. 468 00:18:03,916 --> 00:18:05,816 You're stinking up the place. 469 00:18:05,852 --> 00:18:08,192 Pee-yew! Ugh. 470 00:18:08,221 --> 00:18:11,821 Go take a bath in some tomatoes. 471 00:18:11,858 --> 00:18:14,228 - [sighs] 472 00:18:14,261 --> 00:18:16,231 Quad-A, after all. 473 00:18:16,263 --> 00:18:18,203 We were so close. 474 00:18:18,231 --> 00:18:19,501 - I just gotta say-- 475 00:18:19,532 --> 00:18:22,302 Been a privilege taking breaks with you guys. 476 00:18:22,335 --> 00:18:24,535 Sitting here, looking at my phone, 477 00:18:24,571 --> 00:18:27,741 while you guys are looking at your phones. 478 00:18:27,774 --> 00:18:28,644 I'm gonna miss it. 479 00:18:28,675 --> 00:18:31,275 - We never appreciated what we had here. 480 00:18:31,311 --> 00:18:34,481 - Let's relax. It was a crappy store. 481 00:18:34,514 --> 00:18:35,854 - Yeah, fair enough. 482 00:18:35,882 --> 00:18:37,782 - It'll be fine, you guys. 483 00:18:37,817 --> 00:18:39,717 We'll clean as we go. 484 00:18:41,188 --> 00:18:43,618 We'll clean as we go. 485 00:18:43,656 --> 00:18:46,256 - How do you get money stains off your hands? 486 00:18:46,293 --> 00:18:47,533 - What're you talking about? 487 00:18:47,560 --> 00:18:49,230 - You know how when you handle money, 488 00:18:49,262 --> 00:18:51,302 the ink comes off on your hands? 489 00:18:53,433 --> 00:18:54,703 - Another counterfeit. 490 00:18:54,734 --> 00:18:56,804 - But I used the pen thingy and it was yellow. 491 00:18:56,836 --> 00:18:58,766 - Yeah, that means fake. You want brown. 492 00:18:58,805 --> 00:19:00,535 - I thought it was, If it's yellow, let it mellow. 493 00:19:00,573 --> 00:19:01,673 Wait, no, that's piss. 494 00:19:01,708 --> 00:19:03,778 - There are so many of these. 495 00:19:03,810 --> 00:19:04,880 - Where we at? 496 00:19:07,414 --> 00:19:09,484 - We're not Quad-A. We did it! 497 00:19:09,516 --> 00:19:10,816 [excited chatter] 498 00:19:10,850 --> 00:19:15,290 - Alright! - You tiny little fool. 499 00:19:15,322 --> 00:19:18,532 - We're not number one. We're not nu--no. 500 00:19:18,558 --> 00:19:20,288 It doesn't work as well. 501 00:19:20,327 --> 00:19:23,397 - I guess it was when Mateo dumped me, you know, I just-- 502 00:19:23,430 --> 00:19:24,760 I just dove into my work, 503 00:19:24,797 --> 00:19:26,767 'cause I thought that would be fulfilling, but-- 504 00:19:26,799 --> 00:19:29,699 So here I am, on the cusp of having a Quad-A store 505 00:19:29,736 --> 00:19:33,466 and it's like, I don't even know if I want that, you know? 506 00:19:33,506 --> 00:19:36,206 - Oh, actually, we didn't make Quad-A. 507 00:19:36,243 --> 00:19:37,713 - What? Dammit. 508 00:19:37,744 --> 00:19:41,414 - Oh, no, it's gonna be-- - No! No, no, no, no, no, no. 509 00:19:41,448 --> 00:19:44,218 This is bad. I can't go home, Jonah. 510 00:19:44,251 --> 00:19:46,621 I'm [bleep]. I'm [bleep]. 511 00:19:46,653 --> 00:19:49,593 I bought a Subaru! That money's gone! 512 00:19:49,622 --> 00:19:51,362 Gone. I couldn't wait a week? 513 00:19:51,391 --> 00:19:53,891 One week. No discipline. 514 00:19:53,926 --> 00:19:55,626 [bleep]! 515 00:19:56,663 --> 00:19:58,373 - Hey, Glenn. - Mm. 516 00:19:58,398 --> 00:19:59,998 - Just wanted to let you know we didn't make the target. 517 00:20:00,032 --> 00:20:01,632 No Quad-A. 518 00:20:01,668 --> 00:20:03,368 - Oh, okay. 519 00:20:04,504 --> 00:20:06,374 - You all right? - Hmm? 520 00:20:06,406 --> 00:20:08,576 Yeah, I'll be fine. 521 00:20:08,608 --> 00:20:11,338 I was so close to having a baby. 522 00:20:11,378 --> 00:20:12,878 But-- 523 00:20:12,912 --> 00:20:14,782 You wanna be my surrogate? 524 00:20:14,814 --> 00:20:16,554 - The idea of carrying your child 525 00:20:16,583 --> 00:20:18,353 makes me wanna put a bullet through my uterus. 526 00:20:18,385 --> 00:20:19,845 - I was joking. 527 00:20:19,886 --> 00:20:21,486 I wouldn't want you to carry my baby 528 00:20:21,521 --> 00:20:24,021 if you paid me the $20,000. 529 00:20:24,056 --> 00:20:26,586 - Wait, you're paying $20,000? 530 00:20:26,626 --> 00:20:28,756 Just for someone to squirt out your kid? 531 00:20:28,795 --> 00:20:31,255 - Well, yeah, a little bit more. 532 00:20:31,298 --> 00:20:34,628 - I mean, that's practically what I take home in a year. 533 00:20:34,667 --> 00:20:38,337 I could fix up my house. Pay off my credit card bills. 534 00:20:38,371 --> 00:20:41,011 I could put my mom away for good with money like that. 535 00:20:41,040 --> 00:20:43,540 - Well, I mean-- 536 00:20:43,576 --> 00:20:46,746 If that's something you wanted, I could think about it. 537 00:20:46,779 --> 00:20:49,479 - I mean, if you were interested 538 00:20:49,516 --> 00:20:51,916 then I would think about it. 539 00:20:51,951 --> 00:20:56,461 - It's not something I want. - Oh, I would want it far less. 540 00:21:04,564 --> 00:21:06,074 Okay. - Okay. 541 00:21:06,098 --> 00:21:07,528 - This is cool. 542 00:21:07,567 --> 00:21:08,797 You know, I've always wanted 543 00:21:08,835 --> 00:21:10,535 to have a family of my own someday, 544 00:21:10,570 --> 00:21:11,670 so it'll be great to have a practice baby 545 00:21:11,704 --> 00:21:13,044 where nothing matters. 546 00:21:13,072 --> 00:21:15,342 - Wait, wait-- - Like, whatever happens to it 547 00:21:15,375 --> 00:21:17,635 happens to it, you know? [chuckles]