1 00:00:06,745 --> 00:00:08,008 - Attention, Cloud 9 shoppers. 2 00:00:08,051 --> 00:00:09,487 It's really comin' down out there. 3 00:00:09,531 --> 00:00:11,359 Now, I'm not a licensed meteorologist, 4 00:00:11,402 --> 00:00:14,405 but I believe the technical term is snowy AF. 5 00:00:14,449 --> 00:00:16,277 For anyone stocking up, we are limiting 6 00:00:16,320 --> 00:00:19,019 all water purchases to one case per person, 7 00:00:19,062 --> 00:00:21,151 and that does include coconut water, 8 00:00:21,195 --> 00:00:23,762 watermelon water, cucumber water, 9 00:00:23,806 --> 00:00:25,895 aloe water, probiotic water, 10 00:00:25,938 --> 00:00:27,027 and electric water, 11 00:00:27,070 --> 00:00:28,202 which is something I just made up 12 00:00:28,245 --> 00:00:30,073 but you probably got all excited about. 13 00:00:30,117 --> 00:00:33,163 And if anybody lost a blue hair thingie, 14 00:00:33,207 --> 00:00:35,687 please come pick it up at customer service. 15 00:00:35,731 --> 00:00:37,515 - Oh, that's mine! 16 00:00:37,559 --> 00:00:39,039 - What? 17 00:00:55,055 --> 00:00:57,274 - The snow is already at my knees 18 00:00:57,318 --> 00:00:59,494 and shows no signs of slowing. 19 00:00:59,537 --> 00:01:02,497 I know it doesn't look very high, but, once again, 20 00:01:02,540 --> 00:01:06,283 I'm 6'7", so it would be above the waist 21 00:01:06,327 --> 00:01:08,111 of a normal size person. 22 00:01:08,155 --> 00:01:10,331 - So much for global warming. 23 00:01:10,374 --> 00:01:13,377 - Actually, this--this is direct proof of the-- 24 00:01:13,421 --> 00:01:15,466 nope, I'm not gonna take the bait. 25 00:01:15,510 --> 00:01:17,120 - I knew this blizzard was coming a week ago 26 00:01:17,164 --> 00:01:19,470 'cause my macaw started having diarrhea. 27 00:01:19,514 --> 00:01:22,604 - Don't all birds diarrhea all the time? 28 00:01:22,647 --> 00:01:23,692 - Not like this. 29 00:01:23,735 --> 00:01:24,867 - Hey, Glenn? - Mm-hmm? 30 00:01:24,910 --> 00:01:27,217 - Um, it's really bad out there. 31 00:01:27,261 --> 00:01:29,393 Do you think maybe we could all go home early? 32 00:01:29,437 --> 00:01:31,178 - Well, we're supposed to stay open till 11:00. 33 00:01:31,221 --> 00:01:33,397 - Come on, the only people left in the store are us 34 00:01:33,441 --> 00:01:35,225 and a few sample suckers. 35 00:01:35,269 --> 00:01:36,313 - Okay, you know what, yeah, 36 00:01:36,357 --> 00:01:38,750 I could give corporate a call, sure. 37 00:01:38,794 --> 00:01:40,317 So much for global warming, huh? 38 00:01:40,361 --> 00:01:42,145 - It's not-- it's not global warming. 39 00:01:42,189 --> 00:01:43,364 It's climate change. - Shh. 40 00:01:43,407 --> 00:01:44,930 - No, but, if anything, this is proof... 41 00:01:44,974 --> 00:01:47,150 - Shh. - This-- 42 00:01:50,762 --> 00:01:52,460 - Jerry. 43 00:01:52,503 --> 00:01:54,114 - Sandra, hi. 44 00:01:54,157 --> 00:01:56,638 - Hi. What are you-- 45 00:01:56,681 --> 00:02:00,032 - Oh, you are a lifesaver. 46 00:02:00,076 --> 00:02:01,425 Mmm. 47 00:02:01,469 --> 00:02:03,123 I ran out of vape juice. 48 00:02:03,166 --> 00:02:04,733 - It's really bad out there. 49 00:02:04,776 --> 00:02:06,822 I hit some ice and almost skidded into a pet cem-- 50 00:02:06,865 --> 00:02:09,346 - Oh, this is cotton candy. 51 00:02:09,390 --> 00:02:11,609 I asked you for candy cane. 52 00:02:11,653 --> 00:02:13,263 - Oh, sorry. 53 00:02:13,307 --> 00:02:14,873 Whatever. 54 00:02:14,917 --> 00:02:16,658 I guess I don't matter. 55 00:02:20,052 --> 00:02:21,489 - Bye. 56 00:02:21,532 --> 00:02:22,620 - Bye. 57 00:02:25,406 --> 00:02:27,930 - Oh, you look so sad right now. 58 00:02:27,973 --> 00:02:30,193 It's, like, haunting. 59 00:02:30,237 --> 00:02:31,673 Can I take your picture? 60 00:02:31,716 --> 00:02:33,501 - Okay. 61 00:02:35,285 --> 00:02:37,722 - Oh, now you just look like a sad clown. 62 00:02:37,766 --> 00:02:39,159 - I can do it. 63 00:02:39,202 --> 00:02:41,291 - No, it's fine. The moment's passed. 64 00:02:41,335 --> 00:02:43,598 - It is really coming down out there, 65 00:02:43,641 --> 00:02:46,296 and I'm worried about people making it home safely. 66 00:02:46,340 --> 00:02:48,124 - Oh, of course, the most important thing 67 00:02:48,168 --> 00:02:49,473 is the safety of our employees. 68 00:02:49,517 --> 00:02:51,388 - Exactly, so, uh, I was hoping 69 00:02:51,432 --> 00:02:53,869 I could let everyone go a little early? 70 00:02:53,912 --> 00:02:56,219 - Oh, wouldn't that be such a sweet gesture? 71 00:02:56,263 --> 00:02:59,309 - Uh-huh, it--it would be, yes. 72 00:02:59,353 --> 00:03:01,355 - Well, if you need anything at all, 73 00:03:01,398 --> 00:03:02,660 we're here for you and, uh, 74 00:03:02,704 --> 00:03:05,315 we will be right up until closing time. 75 00:03:05,359 --> 00:03:08,231 - So you're saying we can't leave? 76 00:03:08,275 --> 00:03:12,017 - I'm saying we appreciate your commitment to stay. 77 00:03:12,061 --> 00:03:13,018 - Thank you. 78 00:03:13,062 --> 00:03:17,240 - ♪ I didn't know nobody 79 00:03:17,284 --> 00:03:20,156 ♪ And then I saw you coming my way ♪ 80 00:03:21,375 --> 00:03:22,854 - Attention, all remaining customers. 81 00:03:22,898 --> 00:03:25,857 The governor has declared a state of emergency. 82 00:03:25,901 --> 00:03:29,600 Customers are advised to get home before conditions worsen, 83 00:03:29,644 --> 00:03:32,299 which begs the question, what about employees 84 00:03:32,342 --> 00:03:35,693 who also drive cars and also have families 85 00:03:35,737 --> 00:03:38,218 and/or video games to get home to? 86 00:03:39,523 --> 00:03:41,133 - Yeah, I--I checked on that, 87 00:03:41,177 --> 00:03:44,180 and corporate would like us to stay until closing so... 88 00:03:45,486 --> 00:03:47,227 Glenn, this is crazy. 89 00:03:47,270 --> 00:03:48,358 It's really bad out there. 90 00:03:48,402 --> 00:03:49,664 - Oh, I don't know. 91 00:03:49,707 --> 00:03:52,319 Maybe it's starting to lighten up a bit. 92 00:03:52,362 --> 00:03:54,234 - No, actually, it's getting worse. 93 00:03:54,277 --> 00:03:56,714 Uh, they're calling it the snow-poca-blizz. 94 00:03:56,758 --> 00:03:58,238 Oh, wait, nope, that's just some guy on Twitter 95 00:03:58,281 --> 00:03:59,587 trying to get it going. 96 00:03:59,630 --> 00:04:02,720 - Okay, well, you know, I'll try 'em again. 97 00:04:04,156 --> 00:04:05,767 - Oh, no, no, no, Glenn, no, that's-- 98 00:04:05,810 --> 00:04:07,595 you're still using the intercom phone. 99 00:04:08,944 --> 00:04:09,945 - Ow! - Put it down. 100 00:04:09,988 --> 00:04:11,381 - Oh, phooey to corporate. 101 00:04:11,425 --> 00:04:13,122 Let's just get outta here. 102 00:04:13,165 --> 00:04:14,906 - You heard the man, go, go! 103 00:04:14,950 --> 00:04:17,735 - Okay, before you go, can you unlock the razor case? 104 00:04:17,779 --> 00:04:20,085 I don't know why you guys lock up the razor blades. 105 00:04:20,129 --> 00:04:22,784 - They're actually one of the most shoplifted items, 106 00:04:22,827 --> 00:04:24,264 high-ticket and easy to pocket. 107 00:04:24,307 --> 00:04:26,788 People also steal name-brand detergent, 108 00:04:26,831 --> 00:04:28,398 condoms, baby formula. 109 00:04:28,442 --> 00:04:30,618 You wouldn't think it, but they sell it and buy heroin. 110 00:04:30,661 --> 00:04:34,099 Pretty grim. Anyway, happy to help. 111 00:04:34,143 --> 00:04:35,579 - Holy moly! 112 00:04:35,623 --> 00:04:38,278 - It is the snow-poca-blizz! 113 00:04:38,321 --> 00:04:39,931 - It is colder than the critical reception 114 00:04:39,975 --> 00:04:41,542 of Drake's last album! 115 00:04:41,585 --> 00:04:44,501 - That's what you said when we came out here last night! 116 00:04:44,545 --> 00:04:45,720 - Shut up. None of them heard it! 117 00:04:45,763 --> 00:04:47,461 - You guys think the bus is running 118 00:04:47,504 --> 00:04:49,201 on its regular schedule? 119 00:04:49,245 --> 00:04:50,420 - I doubt it! 120 00:04:50,464 --> 00:04:52,509 But maybe we can split an Uber! 121 00:04:52,553 --> 00:04:54,381 - I can't see my car! 122 00:04:54,424 --> 00:04:55,773 - I lost one of my shoes! 123 00:04:55,817 --> 00:04:57,775 - Maybe we should go back inside! 124 00:04:57,819 --> 00:05:00,343 - No, we just have to get to our cars! 125 00:05:00,387 --> 00:05:02,040 - Oh, there's surge pricing! 126 00:05:02,084 --> 00:05:03,346 - I lost my other shoe! 127 00:05:03,390 --> 00:05:05,522 - It costs $1,400! 128 00:05:05,566 --> 00:05:07,829 - Okay, we have to go back inside! 129 00:05:07,872 --> 00:05:09,091 We're gonna die out here! 130 00:05:09,134 --> 00:05:11,180 - It is colder than the critical reception 131 00:05:11,223 --> 00:05:13,313 of Justin Timberlake's last album! 132 00:05:13,356 --> 00:05:15,750 - We heard you the first time! 133 00:05:18,883 --> 00:05:20,972 - Well, I just heard an update 134 00:05:21,016 --> 00:05:23,279 on KFR-AM 520 with Bill Mudd, the Weather Stud-- 135 00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:25,542 who, by the way, if you go to their website, 136 00:05:25,586 --> 00:05:26,891 is far from studly. 137 00:05:26,935 --> 00:05:28,371 - Oh, his eyes are on the side of his head. 138 00:05:28,415 --> 00:05:29,851 - I know. - Yeah. 139 00:05:29,894 --> 00:05:32,897 - Anyway, it looks as though we are stuck here tonight. 140 00:05:32,941 --> 00:05:33,898 - Oh! - What? 141 00:05:33,942 --> 00:05:34,899 - What? - Come on. 142 00:05:34,943 --> 00:05:36,031 - So because corporate 143 00:05:36,074 --> 00:05:37,685 couldn't let us home a tad bit earlier, 144 00:05:37,728 --> 00:05:39,948 now I can't get home to my children? 145 00:05:39,991 --> 00:05:42,298 - I thought Adam has the kids tonight. 146 00:05:42,342 --> 00:05:45,214 - He does. I'm just trying to make a point. 147 00:05:45,257 --> 00:05:46,955 - I was gonna host chili night tonight. 148 00:05:46,998 --> 00:05:49,436 - Wewere gonna host chili night tonight. 149 00:05:49,479 --> 00:05:50,698 - Well, it's my apartment. 150 00:05:50,741 --> 00:05:52,090 You're just bringing the chili. 151 00:05:52,134 --> 00:05:53,396 - The chili's the whole point. 152 00:05:53,440 --> 00:05:54,789 - So we're just supposed to spend the night here 153 00:05:54,832 --> 00:05:56,007 like homeless people. 154 00:05:56,051 --> 00:05:58,314 - Yes, this is the exact sleeping situation 155 00:05:58,358 --> 00:05:59,446 homeless people have. 156 00:05:59,489 --> 00:06:00,577 - They wouldn't sleep here. 157 00:06:00,621 --> 00:06:02,927 This place is crawling with raccoons. 158 00:06:02,971 --> 00:06:04,973 - I let a homeless guy use my bathroom once. 159 00:06:05,016 --> 00:06:06,931 Now he just does it when I'm not even home. 160 00:06:06,975 --> 00:06:09,934 - Okay, we have no idea how long we're gonna be stuck here, 161 00:06:09,978 --> 00:06:11,762 so we need to ration our food. 162 00:06:11,806 --> 00:06:14,112 The less we eat up front, the longer we can go 163 00:06:14,156 --> 00:06:15,766 before we start eating each other later. 164 00:06:15,810 --> 00:06:17,725 - Um, I have a child here. 165 00:06:17,768 --> 00:06:19,117 - That is an amazing offer, 166 00:06:19,161 --> 00:06:21,293 but why don't we just try and get out of here alive 167 00:06:21,337 --> 00:06:23,687 before we start eating the children, huh? 168 00:06:23,731 --> 00:06:25,428 - I--I don't think it'll come to that. 169 00:06:25,472 --> 00:06:27,561 Let's just help ourselves to whatever we need: 170 00:06:27,604 --> 00:06:29,737 bedding, food, pajamas, you know. 171 00:06:29,780 --> 00:06:32,827 Mi casa is sues mos, wazzas. 172 00:06:32,870 --> 00:06:34,219 - Cell phones are out. 173 00:06:34,263 --> 00:06:36,308 Do you have a landline I can call my family from? 174 00:06:36,352 --> 00:06:38,746 - Oh, sure, yeah, you can use the phone at customer service. 175 00:06:38,789 --> 00:06:40,400 - And can I also use it to call my mistress? 176 00:06:43,054 --> 00:06:45,753 - Is--is--is-- is she nice? 177 00:06:45,796 --> 00:06:47,363 - She's okay. 178 00:06:47,407 --> 00:06:49,887 - Well, that's good. 179 00:06:52,194 --> 00:06:54,457 - ♪ Oh, you nasty boys 180 00:06:54,501 --> 00:06:56,459 ♪ I don't like no nasty car 181 00:06:56,503 --> 00:06:58,026 ♪ I don't like nasty-- 182 00:07:05,076 --> 00:07:07,688 - So how have you been? 183 00:07:07,731 --> 00:07:09,777 - Good. 184 00:07:09,820 --> 00:07:12,170 Carol doesn't let me eat sugar. 185 00:07:12,214 --> 00:07:15,609 - Oh, cool. 186 00:07:15,652 --> 00:07:16,610 You look good. 187 00:07:16,653 --> 00:07:18,612 - Thanks. 188 00:07:20,352 --> 00:07:22,398 You look nice too. 189 00:07:22,442 --> 00:07:23,878 - Thanks. 190 00:07:25,793 --> 00:07:29,492 I was thinking about getting bangs, 191 00:07:29,536 --> 00:07:32,190 but I didn't. 192 00:07:32,234 --> 00:07:33,888 Hmm. 193 00:07:36,238 --> 00:07:38,545 - Where should I set up my stuff? 194 00:07:38,588 --> 00:07:40,242 - Oh, anywhere is fine. 195 00:07:40,285 --> 00:07:41,069 - Are you crazy? 196 00:07:41,112 --> 00:07:42,374 You know that we're liable 197 00:07:42,418 --> 00:07:44,638 for any assaults that take place tonight, right? 198 00:07:44,681 --> 00:07:45,639 - I-- 199 00:07:45,682 --> 00:07:46,727 - Now, you need to set up 200 00:07:46,770 --> 00:07:47,902 in the very center of the floor, okay? 201 00:07:47,945 --> 00:07:49,164 We need to keep the hotties in the middle, 202 00:07:49,207 --> 00:07:50,470 make them harder to get to. 203 00:07:50,513 --> 00:07:52,384 That's how wolves protect their hottest wolves. 204 00:07:52,428 --> 00:07:53,603 - Okay. 205 00:07:53,647 --> 00:07:55,257 - Listen, I'm gonna do everything in my power 206 00:07:55,300 --> 00:07:57,825 to make sure you make it through the night alive, okay? 207 00:07:57,868 --> 00:08:00,088 - Oh, all right, thanks, Dina. 208 00:08:01,089 --> 00:08:02,394 - You know, we should really tie bells 209 00:08:02,438 --> 00:08:04,092 to some of the creeps so we can hear them coming. 210 00:08:05,746 --> 00:08:07,356 - No, I'm not gonna make it tonight. 211 00:08:07,399 --> 00:08:10,011 Just enjoy the hotel room. Watch some HBO. 212 00:08:10,054 --> 00:08:12,796 Use all the blankets. Take 'em in the shower. 213 00:08:12,840 --> 00:08:14,145 Doesn't cost nothin'. 214 00:08:14,189 --> 00:08:16,626 Just nothing from the minibar. 215 00:08:21,675 --> 00:08:23,415 - See, this isn't so bad. 216 00:08:23,459 --> 00:08:25,592 It's like we're all having a big slumber party. 217 00:08:25,635 --> 00:08:27,898 - Ooh, we should do a Ouija board. 218 00:08:27,942 --> 00:08:29,073 - Nah, the only dead guy here is Sal, 219 00:08:29,117 --> 00:08:30,379 and I don't want to talk to that dude. 220 00:08:30,422 --> 00:08:32,207 - Oh, we could play Spin the Bottle. 221 00:08:32,250 --> 00:08:33,600 - I'm awesome at Spin the Bottle. 222 00:08:33,643 --> 00:08:34,775 I can make it spin forever. 223 00:08:34,818 --> 00:08:35,950 It's like a wrist thing. 224 00:08:35,993 --> 00:08:37,342 - All right, let's go around 225 00:08:37,386 --> 00:08:39,257 and each of us say how we lost our virginity. 226 00:08:39,301 --> 00:08:40,302 - Oh, no, we don't need to do that. 227 00:08:40,345 --> 00:08:41,825 - Okay, for me, it was Mark Benthis. 228 00:08:41,869 --> 00:08:43,348 He was this jock in high school, 229 00:08:43,392 --> 00:08:44,741 and I was tutoring him in English. 230 00:08:44,785 --> 00:08:46,003 So one day, he comes to my house 231 00:08:46,047 --> 00:08:48,092 to study after basketball practice 232 00:08:48,136 --> 00:08:51,922 and he's all sweaty and one thing leads to another. 233 00:08:51,966 --> 00:08:52,923 Alley-oop. 234 00:08:52,967 --> 00:08:54,098 - Swish. - That's awesome. 235 00:08:54,142 --> 00:08:55,622 Did you guys date after that? 236 00:08:55,665 --> 00:08:57,580 - No, he pretended not to know me, 237 00:08:57,624 --> 00:08:59,364 so I started tutoring him wrong. 238 00:08:59,408 --> 00:09:02,454 If he thought he was dyslexic before... 239 00:09:02,498 --> 00:09:03,891 - Oh. - Mine was 240 00:09:03,934 --> 00:09:05,588 a French foreign exchange student 241 00:09:05,632 --> 00:09:07,634 my family hosted when I was 16. 242 00:09:07,677 --> 00:09:11,855 After a couple weeks, it was avoir la petit mort. 243 00:09:11,899 --> 00:09:13,465 - Please tell me that means sex. 244 00:09:13,509 --> 00:09:15,163 - Uh, yes. 245 00:09:15,206 --> 00:09:17,731 - Yes, awesome. Lucky girl. 246 00:09:18,645 --> 00:09:20,690 - Jasmine Mendoza. 247 00:09:20,734 --> 00:09:22,126 - Oh? - Wow. 248 00:09:22,170 --> 00:09:23,606 - I know. I was so freaked out afterwards, 249 00:09:23,650 --> 00:09:25,173 she had to take me to the emergency room. 250 00:09:25,216 --> 00:09:27,218 - Aww. - I'm crying. 251 00:09:27,262 --> 00:09:29,656 - For me, it was Adam, duh. 252 00:09:29,699 --> 00:09:32,615 It was the night before his state wrestling championship, 253 00:09:32,659 --> 00:09:34,008 and he begged me because 254 00:09:34,051 --> 00:09:35,836 he didn't want to pop a boner during his match. 255 00:09:35,879 --> 00:09:37,489 - So how'd he do? 256 00:09:37,533 --> 00:09:39,361 - He broke his foot and lost his scholarship. 257 00:09:39,404 --> 00:09:40,405 - Ouch. 258 00:09:40,449 --> 00:09:41,406 - At least he didn't get a boner. 259 00:09:41,450 --> 00:09:42,973 - No, he still did, actually. 260 00:09:43,017 --> 00:09:44,279 To this day, he still calls that 261 00:09:44,322 --> 00:09:46,194 the week of boners that ruined his life. 262 00:09:46,237 --> 00:09:48,588 - Hmm. - All right, who's next? 263 00:09:48,631 --> 00:09:50,633 Sandra, you go. 264 00:09:50,677 --> 00:09:52,504 - Um, what do we do 265 00:09:52,548 --> 00:09:56,030 if the person we did it with is here? 266 00:10:09,260 --> 00:10:11,741 - Jesus, your feet are freezing. 267 00:10:11,785 --> 00:10:13,177 - Come on. How 'bout now? 268 00:10:13,221 --> 00:10:16,050 - No, I--they're like blocks of ice. 269 00:10:16,093 --> 00:10:17,704 - Come on, that's your job. 270 00:10:17,747 --> 00:10:18,966 - It's not my job. - Yes. 271 00:10:19,009 --> 00:10:20,141 - Then I quit. 272 00:10:20,184 --> 00:10:21,185 - Stop. - It's freezing. 273 00:10:21,229 --> 00:10:25,233 - Oh, so you guys are sharing a bed. 274 00:10:25,276 --> 00:10:27,409 That's so husband and wife. 275 00:10:27,452 --> 00:10:29,324 - Yeah, well, there--there weren't many mattresses. 276 00:10:29,367 --> 00:10:32,849 - Oh, never mind, cool. Cool. 277 00:10:32,893 --> 00:10:34,024 It just-- 278 00:10:34,068 --> 00:10:37,549 you know, could you not maybe... 279 00:10:37,593 --> 00:10:39,160 If you could avoid... 280 00:10:39,203 --> 00:10:44,078 - Having sex on an air mattress surrounded by our coworkers? 281 00:10:44,121 --> 00:10:46,210 We will try to contain ourselves. 282 00:10:46,254 --> 00:10:48,648 - Oh, okay, great, thank you. 283 00:10:48,691 --> 00:10:50,258 - Good night. 284 00:10:56,220 --> 00:10:57,961 - Good night. - Huh? 285 00:10:58,005 --> 00:10:59,093 - Jesus! 286 00:10:59,136 --> 00:11:01,356 - Good night, Marcus. 287 00:11:02,923 --> 00:11:04,359 - Ah. 288 00:11:11,758 --> 00:11:12,889 - No, Glenn, we're okay. 289 00:11:12,933 --> 00:11:14,151 We don't-- - Oh. 290 00:11:14,195 --> 00:11:15,544 Oh. - Yeah, that's cozy. 291 00:11:15,587 --> 00:11:16,458 - There we go. 292 00:11:16,501 --> 00:11:19,722 That is--that is comfortable. 293 00:11:29,950 --> 00:11:31,995 - Is this good? - No, Jerry. 294 00:11:32,039 --> 00:11:33,083 - Sorry. 295 00:11:33,127 --> 00:11:36,130 - Don't apologize. Just be better. 296 00:11:37,827 --> 00:11:39,568 - Sandra, where are you going? 297 00:11:39,611 --> 00:11:41,135 - I'm gonna sleep in the break room. 298 00:11:41,178 --> 00:11:42,440 - Nobody moves after light's out. 299 00:11:42,484 --> 00:11:44,094 It's for Cheyenne's security. 300 00:11:44,138 --> 00:11:46,140 - Oh, okay. 301 00:11:47,010 --> 00:11:48,620 - Don't move your arms so much. 302 00:11:48,664 --> 00:11:50,231 Just lie there. 303 00:11:59,631 --> 00:12:00,458 Hey. 304 00:12:02,286 --> 00:12:03,461 - Cheyenne, wake up. 305 00:12:03,505 --> 00:12:06,029 - Rise and Cheyenne. 306 00:12:07,117 --> 00:12:08,205 - Girl, wake up. 307 00:12:09,250 --> 00:12:11,818 - Jesus, wake up, you ox! 308 00:12:13,123 --> 00:12:15,778 I think our mattress deflated. 309 00:12:15,822 --> 00:12:17,475 - Oh, is that what that sound was? 310 00:12:17,519 --> 00:12:20,740 I thought you were just continuously farting all night, 311 00:12:20,783 --> 00:12:22,437 which I thought was cute. 312 00:12:22,480 --> 00:12:24,526 Mornin'. 313 00:12:24,569 --> 00:12:26,615 You guys want coffee? 314 00:12:26,658 --> 00:12:28,269 - Um, no, that's-- 315 00:12:28,312 --> 00:12:30,706 - No, I'm...penis. - We're okay. 316 00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:33,230 - Thanks. - All right. 317 00:12:36,059 --> 00:12:37,931 - Oh, hey, do you guys wanna come for breakfast? 318 00:12:37,974 --> 00:12:39,933 It's Thursday, so we're having waffle sticks 319 00:12:39,976 --> 00:12:42,936 and pancake rollovers and French toast poppers. 320 00:12:42,979 --> 00:12:44,633 - Yeah, I think we've spent enough time 321 00:12:44,676 --> 00:12:46,853 with each other for a while. 322 00:12:49,203 --> 00:12:51,683 - That is a lot of snow. 323 00:12:51,727 --> 00:12:53,642 - Yes! I told you! 324 00:12:53,685 --> 00:12:55,122 I said we need to ration our food 325 00:12:55,165 --> 00:12:56,950 because we may be stuck in there for a while, 326 00:12:56,993 --> 00:12:58,647 but did any of you listen to me? 327 00:12:58,690 --> 00:13:01,563 Nope, and now we very well may starve to death. 328 00:13:01,606 --> 00:13:04,305 In your faces! 329 00:13:04,348 --> 00:13:06,089 Boom! Always right. 330 00:13:06,133 --> 00:13:08,483 Another one for the good guys. 331 00:13:10,006 --> 00:13:11,834 - Sorry, baby, I'm just gonna be a few more hours. 332 00:13:11,878 --> 00:13:14,358 Um, hey, uh, don't eat the free breakfast 333 00:13:14,402 --> 00:13:15,925 and see if they'll credit it to the room. 334 00:13:15,969 --> 00:13:18,972 And, uh, you didn't do laundry, did you? 335 00:13:19,015 --> 00:13:20,364 Okay, mention that. 336 00:13:20,408 --> 00:13:22,540 Would you mention that you didn't do any laundry? 337 00:13:25,761 --> 00:13:30,548 - Okay, um, how about what is the most embarrassing way 338 00:13:30,592 --> 00:13:32,986 you've ever injured yourself? 339 00:13:33,029 --> 00:13:34,814 Go. 340 00:13:34,857 --> 00:13:37,773 - Uh, about ten years ago, I tried to run a marathon, 341 00:13:37,817 --> 00:13:39,993 and I made it almost the entire way, 342 00:13:40,036 --> 00:13:42,473 but three feet before the finish line, 343 00:13:42,517 --> 00:13:44,649 I passed out from dehydration. 344 00:13:44,693 --> 00:13:46,216 - Wait, how is that embarrassing? 345 00:13:46,260 --> 00:13:49,698 That's just bragging that you finished most of a marathon. 346 00:13:49,741 --> 00:13:51,656 - I chipped my tooth biting a chocolate coin 347 00:13:51,700 --> 00:13:53,571 that turned out to just be a quarter. 348 00:13:53,615 --> 00:13:54,921 And then another time, 349 00:13:54,964 --> 00:13:57,837 I fell up an escalator when I was taking a selfie. 350 00:13:57,880 --> 00:14:00,404 - I got my penis caught in my friend Russell's zipper. 351 00:14:00,448 --> 00:14:01,405 - Oh. 352 00:14:01,449 --> 00:14:03,103 - I'm sorry, I just gotta-- 353 00:14:03,146 --> 00:14:04,713 where was Russell's penis? 354 00:14:04,756 --> 00:14:06,541 - For a while, neither of us knew. 355 00:14:06,584 --> 00:14:08,630 - I slipped in the shower once. 356 00:14:08,673 --> 00:14:10,197 - That's not that embarrassing. 357 00:14:10,240 --> 00:14:11,285 - Oh, yeah? 358 00:14:11,328 --> 00:14:13,722 'Cause I slipped on my own poop. 359 00:14:13,765 --> 00:14:15,506 - What? - Why? 360 00:14:15,550 --> 00:14:17,291 - I had just deuced in the shower. 361 00:14:17,334 --> 00:14:18,901 - Ugh. - Ugh. 362 00:14:18,945 --> 00:14:20,207 - Why? 363 00:14:20,250 --> 00:14:21,730 - Okay, right, when you guys are in the shower 364 00:14:21,773 --> 00:14:24,080 and you have to go, you just hold it. 365 00:14:24,124 --> 00:14:25,342 - Yes. Yeah. 366 00:14:25,386 --> 00:14:28,345 That's what you do when it's a number two. 367 00:14:28,389 --> 00:14:32,088 - Sure, so you don't poop in the shower every morning 368 00:14:32,132 --> 00:14:33,829 and stamp it down the drain with your feet? 369 00:14:33,873 --> 00:14:35,483 - Oh, my God. 370 00:14:35,526 --> 00:14:36,919 - Oh, my-- - No. 371 00:14:36,963 --> 00:14:39,530 - Okay, whatever. Screw you, snowflakes. 372 00:14:39,574 --> 00:14:42,011 Bunch of princesses. 373 00:14:50,280 --> 00:14:52,717 - All right, we've narrowed it down to two choices: 374 00:14:52,761 --> 00:14:54,589 "Game of Thrones" season one 375 00:14:54,632 --> 00:14:55,938 or "Friends" season nine. 376 00:14:55,982 --> 00:14:57,548 - Is that the season with Paul Rudd? 377 00:14:57,592 --> 00:14:59,246 - Uh, I believe so, yeah. 378 00:14:59,289 --> 00:15:00,290 - Pass. 379 00:15:00,334 --> 00:15:01,422 - My son's six. 380 00:15:01,465 --> 00:15:02,466 "Game of Thrones" has too much nudity. 381 00:15:02,510 --> 00:15:03,728 - I feel like both those shows 382 00:15:03,772 --> 00:15:05,208 have way too many white people. 383 00:15:05,252 --> 00:15:06,688 - Yeah, I got to agree. 384 00:15:06,731 --> 00:15:08,516 I watch TV as an escape, not to see more white people. 385 00:15:08,559 --> 00:15:11,780 - Well, I could watch something with a little more diversity. 386 00:15:11,823 --> 00:15:12,955 - How about "Empire"? 387 00:15:14,130 --> 00:15:15,262 Gonna start right in the deep end, huh? 388 00:15:15,305 --> 00:15:18,004 - Guys, there are two DVDs: 389 00:15:18,047 --> 00:15:21,485 "Game of Thrones" season one, "Friends" season nine. 390 00:15:21,529 --> 00:15:22,573 That's it. 391 00:15:22,617 --> 00:15:24,097 It has to be one of those choices. 392 00:15:24,924 --> 00:15:25,968 - You know, I've always wanted to watch 393 00:15:26,012 --> 00:15:27,100 "Orange Is the New Black." 394 00:15:27,143 --> 00:15:28,492 - I'd watch that. 395 00:15:28,536 --> 00:15:29,798 - I thought you said your son couldn't watch nudity. 396 00:15:29,841 --> 00:15:32,540 - He likes strong female leads. 397 00:15:32,583 --> 00:15:36,805 - Just a little more color on your cheeks. 398 00:15:37,414 --> 00:15:38,372 There. 399 00:15:38,415 --> 00:15:40,287 - How do I look? 400 00:15:40,330 --> 00:15:43,290 - You look good. 401 00:15:43,333 --> 00:15:44,508 - Really? 402 00:15:44,552 --> 00:15:46,858 I think he looks like his whore sister. 403 00:16:07,183 --> 00:16:10,360 - Ah! 404 00:16:10,404 --> 00:16:11,492 - Can you stop doing that? 405 00:16:11,535 --> 00:16:12,667 - What? 406 00:16:12,710 --> 00:16:15,104 - That "ah" you do every time you move. 407 00:16:15,148 --> 00:16:16,236 - It bugs. 408 00:16:16,279 --> 00:16:17,715 - I'm sorry. I didn't realize I did that. 409 00:16:17,759 --> 00:16:20,544 Let me know if I'm doing anything else that "bugs." 410 00:16:20,588 --> 00:16:22,938 - Um, those bunny ears with your hands 411 00:16:22,982 --> 00:16:24,679 when you talk are annoying. 412 00:16:24,722 --> 00:16:26,028 - Um, noted. 413 00:16:26,072 --> 00:16:29,118 Um, I'll try not to do anything else, um, annoying 414 00:16:29,162 --> 00:16:30,293 when I, um, talk. 415 00:16:30,337 --> 00:16:31,425 - Thank you. 416 00:16:31,468 --> 00:16:32,861 - He's making fun of you, Cheyenne, 417 00:16:32,904 --> 00:16:34,776 because he thinks he's better than everyone else here. 418 00:16:34,819 --> 00:16:37,518 - Oh, I'm sorry, hethinks he's better than everyone? 419 00:16:37,561 --> 00:16:39,694 You're the one who walks into the break room every morning 420 00:16:39,737 --> 00:16:42,827 and says, "Good morning, turd people." 421 00:16:42,871 --> 00:16:44,438 It wasn't funny the first time. 422 00:16:44,481 --> 00:16:45,917 - It's not supposed to be funny. 423 00:16:45,961 --> 00:16:47,919 It's supposed to make you feel bad for being turd people. 424 00:16:47,963 --> 00:16:49,573 - Okay, guys, come on. 425 00:16:49,617 --> 00:16:51,488 Let's be nice to each other, you know. 426 00:16:51,532 --> 00:16:52,576 Spending all this time together 427 00:16:52,620 --> 00:16:54,274 can make us a little bit bonkers. 428 00:16:54,317 --> 00:16:55,666 - It's true. 429 00:16:55,710 --> 00:16:57,407 Do you know how many murders happen on submarines? 430 00:16:57,451 --> 00:16:58,669 - Okay, great. 431 00:16:58,713 --> 00:16:59,583 Well, then let's all stop annoying each other 432 00:16:59,627 --> 00:17:01,063 and nobody has to get hurt. 433 00:17:01,107 --> 00:17:03,065 - What if we don't know what we're doing that's annoying? 434 00:17:03,109 --> 00:17:04,501 Paradox. 435 00:17:04,545 --> 00:17:06,677 - Maybe we should go around and each say something 436 00:17:06,721 --> 00:17:08,070 about someone that annoys us. 437 00:17:08,114 --> 00:17:10,159 - Mm, that sounds like a real bad idea. 438 00:17:10,203 --> 00:17:12,422 - "That sounds like a real bad idea." 439 00:17:12,466 --> 00:17:13,423 Who am I? 440 00:17:13,467 --> 00:17:15,556 - Oh! Amy. Easy. 441 00:17:15,599 --> 00:17:17,645 - Okay, fine, let's do this. 442 00:17:17,688 --> 00:17:20,648 Uh, Mateo, when you say "touché," 443 00:17:20,691 --> 00:17:23,129 you sound like a douché. 444 00:17:23,172 --> 00:17:24,478 Who's next? 445 00:17:27,046 --> 00:17:29,483 - ♪ I don't mind if there's not much to say ♪ 446 00:17:29,526 --> 00:17:30,701 ♪ Sometimes the silence guides a mind ♪ 447 00:17:30,745 --> 00:17:31,920 ♪ To move to a place so far away ♪ 448 00:17:31,963 --> 00:17:33,791 - You don't know how to tell a story, Glenn. 449 00:17:33,835 --> 00:17:35,010 You get lost in the details, 450 00:17:35,054 --> 00:17:36,881 like whatever people were having for lunch. 451 00:17:36,925 --> 00:17:38,187 - I am trying to paint a picture. 452 00:17:38,231 --> 00:17:41,103 - Nobody cares if it doesn't impact the story. 453 00:17:41,147 --> 00:17:43,105 - I hate Mateo's anticlimactic sneezes. 454 00:17:43,149 --> 00:17:45,803 It's a lot of build-up for a tiny, little "achoo." 455 00:17:45,847 --> 00:17:48,110 - Yeah, and it's always, like, three or four of them in a row. 456 00:17:48,154 --> 00:17:49,894 - He just likes the attention. 457 00:17:49,938 --> 00:17:51,766 - Isaac, you need to stop calling me brother. 458 00:17:51,809 --> 00:17:52,767 - I don't do that. 459 00:17:52,810 --> 00:17:54,116 - You do. I've heard it. 460 00:17:54,160 --> 00:17:55,987 - Okay, maybe, but I don't do it to sound cool. 461 00:17:56,031 --> 00:17:57,119 I do it 'cause you're black. 462 00:17:57,163 --> 00:17:59,121 - Garrett, your breath smells like farts, 463 00:17:59,165 --> 00:18:01,123 and your farts smell like food. 464 00:18:01,167 --> 00:18:02,385 You need to see a doctor. 465 00:18:02,429 --> 00:18:04,996 And, Marcus, why do you smell like sour milk? 466 00:18:05,040 --> 00:18:06,911 - I eat cereal while I drive to work, 467 00:18:06,955 --> 00:18:08,348 and most of the time, it spills. 468 00:18:08,391 --> 00:18:11,090 - Dina, your voice is a smidge loud. 469 00:18:11,133 --> 00:18:13,048 - Well, I'm so sorry that I have 470 00:18:13,092 --> 00:18:15,050 an unusually large diaphragm! 471 00:18:15,094 --> 00:18:17,008 - That makes two of us! Up top! 472 00:18:17,052 --> 00:18:18,793 - Get your ing hand out of my face! 473 00:18:18,836 --> 00:18:20,142 - Speaking of loud, 474 00:18:20,186 --> 00:18:21,926 when Amy chews chips, 475 00:18:21,970 --> 00:18:25,060 it sounds like she's eating a microphone. 476 00:18:27,106 --> 00:18:29,456 - Aren't you just, like, a customer? 477 00:18:29,499 --> 00:18:31,675 - Yeah, I'm Terry. 478 00:18:31,719 --> 00:18:32,763 - Hi, Terry. 479 00:18:32,807 --> 00:18:33,895 Shut the hell up. 480 00:18:33,938 --> 00:18:35,636 - Yeah, you're not a part of this. 481 00:18:35,679 --> 00:18:36,898 - This is Cloud 9. 482 00:18:36,941 --> 00:18:38,204 We don't give a damn what customers think. 483 00:18:38,247 --> 00:18:40,815 - Yeah, why don't you go stew in softlines? 484 00:18:40,858 --> 00:18:42,164 - Bye-bye. - Yeah, get out of here. 485 00:18:42,208 --> 00:18:43,426 - Bye. - Okay, okay. 486 00:18:43,470 --> 00:18:44,601 - Bye. 487 00:18:44,645 --> 00:18:46,037 - Can you believe that guy, 488 00:18:46,081 --> 00:18:48,170 barging in here like he's part of the family? 489 00:18:48,214 --> 00:18:50,346 - Guys, guys, who am I? 490 00:18:50,390 --> 00:18:53,132 "I'm Terry." 491 00:18:55,221 --> 00:18:57,788 - Yeah, that's exactly what he sounds like. 492 00:18:57,832 --> 00:18:59,094 - So good. 493 00:18:59,138 --> 00:19:01,140 - Nailed it. 494 00:19:01,183 --> 00:19:03,751 Okay, so if I had to eat someone here, 495 00:19:03,794 --> 00:19:07,015 it would be...Glenn 496 00:19:07,058 --> 00:19:09,713 'cause he eats a lot of sugar, so he'd be the sweetest. 497 00:19:09,757 --> 00:19:11,019 - Aw, thank you. 498 00:19:11,062 --> 00:19:12,803 My blood sugar is really high. 499 00:19:12,847 --> 00:19:14,327 I'm prediabetic. 500 00:19:14,370 --> 00:19:17,068 - Personally, I wouldn't eat anyone over the age of 35. 501 00:19:17,112 --> 00:19:18,853 I know there's no expiration date on people, 502 00:19:18,896 --> 00:19:21,334 but that's when they start to turn. 503 00:19:21,377 --> 00:19:23,379 - Oh, Jenga! 504 00:19:23,423 --> 00:19:24,380 - Yes! - Jenga! 505 00:19:24,424 --> 00:19:25,729 - That's a Jenga. - Yas, Jenga. 506 00:19:25,773 --> 00:19:27,340 - Cheers. - That's a Jenga. 507 00:19:27,383 --> 00:19:28,341 - Nice. 508 00:19:31,344 --> 00:19:34,042 Okay, okay, well, it's a cherry cola. 509 00:19:34,085 --> 00:19:37,219 The acidity is too intense for Coca-Cola Cherry, 510 00:19:37,263 --> 00:19:39,961 and it's not quite full-bodied enough 511 00:19:40,004 --> 00:19:42,442 to be Cloud 9 Cherry Splash. 512 00:19:43,007 --> 00:19:45,053 RC Cherry Cola. 513 00:19:45,096 --> 00:19:46,576 - It's Bud Light Lime. 514 00:19:46,620 --> 00:19:48,796 - Oh, yeah. 515 00:19:48,839 --> 00:19:50,101 Yeah, I'm getting that. 516 00:19:52,800 --> 00:19:53,757 - Yes! 517 00:19:53,801 --> 00:19:55,063 - How are you so good? 518 00:19:55,106 --> 00:19:57,935 You never golfed before, like, a year ago. 519 00:19:57,979 --> 00:19:59,241 - I never big golfed, 520 00:19:59,285 --> 00:20:01,069 but I used to mini golf all the time. 521 00:20:01,112 --> 00:20:02,549 - Big golfed? 522 00:20:02,592 --> 00:20:03,593 - Yeah. 523 00:20:03,637 --> 00:20:05,073 If we make it out of here alive, 524 00:20:05,116 --> 00:20:06,901 I might take you to my favorite mini golf place. 525 00:20:06,944 --> 00:20:08,424 - You're not sick of me yet? 526 00:20:09,947 --> 00:20:12,776 - No. Are you sick of me? 527 00:20:14,343 --> 00:20:15,431 - Nah. 528 00:20:16,693 --> 00:20:18,478 - What about now? Are you sick of me now? 529 00:20:19,653 --> 00:20:20,610 - Um. 530 00:20:20,654 --> 00:20:21,742 - Is this making you sick of me? 531 00:20:21,785 --> 00:20:23,178 - Well. 532 00:20:23,787 --> 00:20:25,006 - Breath smells like farts. 533 00:20:25,049 --> 00:20:26,486 I'm sure my breath doesn't smell like farts. 534 00:20:27,313 --> 00:20:28,923 - Oh, hey, excuse me, man. Is this place open? 535 00:20:28,966 --> 00:20:30,272 - How'd you get in here? 536 00:20:30,316 --> 00:20:31,534 - Just through the doors. 537 00:20:31,578 --> 00:20:33,014 - Did they plow the parking lot? 538 00:20:33,057 --> 00:20:34,102 - I guess so. 539 00:20:34,145 --> 00:20:35,277 - Oh, thank God. 540 00:20:35,321 --> 00:20:36,713 - I mean, it's kind of cold outside. 541 00:20:36,757 --> 00:20:38,715 You might want to put on-- - No, I'm good. I'm good. 542 00:20:38,759 --> 00:20:41,022 Whoo! 543 00:20:42,328 --> 00:20:46,070 - ♪ I'm not sick, but I'm not well ♪ 544 00:20:46,114 --> 00:20:48,551 ♪ And I'm so hot 545 00:20:48,595 --> 00:20:53,687 - The trick is to take a box out 546 00:20:53,730 --> 00:20:57,908 without knocking over the rest of the tower. 547 00:20:57,952 --> 00:20:58,996 - Whoa. 548 00:20:59,040 --> 00:21:00,911 - Yep, that's the trick. - Cool. 549 00:21:00,955 --> 00:21:02,130 - We're out of orange juice. 550 00:21:02,173 --> 00:21:03,958 - I got a secret stash in my office. 551 00:21:04,001 --> 00:21:06,308 - On it. 552 00:21:11,531 --> 00:21:13,054 - Dina. 553 00:21:13,097 --> 00:21:14,142 - Hi, Dina. 554 00:21:14,185 --> 00:21:15,970 - I was just coming to get some juice, 555 00:21:16,013 --> 00:21:19,626 but, um, think I'll just drink it straight. 556 00:21:19,669 --> 00:21:21,541 - Okay.