1 00:00:04,265 --> 00:00:04,482 . 2 00:00:04,526 --> 00:00:06,267 - Okay, I'll go in first. 3 00:00:06,310 --> 00:00:08,008 - Wait, maybe I should go in first. 4 00:00:08,051 --> 00:00:09,096 - It doesn't matter who goes in first. 5 00:00:09,139 --> 00:00:10,271 We just can't go in together, 6 00:00:10,314 --> 00:00:11,489 'cause it's gonna look suspicious. 7 00:00:11,533 --> 00:00:13,143 - Well then, if it doesn't matter, 8 00:00:13,187 --> 00:00:14,362 I'll go in first. - That's fine, go in first. 9 00:00:14,405 --> 00:00:16,146 I'm happy to sit here for ten minutes 10 00:00:16,190 --> 00:00:17,626 and listen to the radio. - Okay, no, you go in first. 11 00:00:17,669 --> 00:00:18,627 - Oh. - Amy. 12 00:00:18,670 --> 00:00:20,324 Hey. Listen. 13 00:00:20,368 --> 00:00:22,022 Sorry for accidentally texting you that nude. 14 00:00:22,065 --> 00:00:23,849 - No worries. 15 00:00:23,893 --> 00:00:25,025 - What's Jonah doing in there? 16 00:00:25,068 --> 00:00:27,462 - Oh, hey, Dina. Uh, I was just 17 00:00:27,505 --> 00:00:29,725 looking for this Del Taco receipt 18 00:00:29,768 --> 00:00:32,075 for 12 tacos. 19 00:00:32,119 --> 00:00:33,946 - You must have been very hungry. No judgment. 20 00:00:33,990 --> 00:00:36,166 - So did you two drive together? 21 00:00:36,210 --> 00:00:38,299 - Um, yes? We did. 22 00:00:38,342 --> 00:00:40,605 We are carpooling to save some money. 23 00:00:40,649 --> 00:00:41,737 - And the environment. 24 00:00:41,780 --> 00:00:43,043 - Well, saving money is reason enough. 25 00:00:43,086 --> 00:00:44,174 No need to keep explaining. 26 00:00:44,218 --> 00:00:45,567 - What's going on? 27 00:00:45,610 --> 00:00:47,351 - Nothing! - Maybe we should get inside? 28 00:00:47,395 --> 00:00:49,223 - Amy and Jonah are carpooling. 29 00:00:49,266 --> 00:00:51,355 - Oh! I'm in. Carpool karaoke. 30 00:00:51,399 --> 00:00:52,922 - What's carpool karaoke? 31 00:00:52,965 --> 00:00:56,404 - You know how people like to sing in the car? That. 32 00:00:56,447 --> 00:00:58,362 - Well, that settles that. Dina, you're blocking my door. 33 00:00:58,406 --> 00:01:01,713 - Hey, Sayeed! Amy and Jonah are carpooling! 34 00:01:01,757 --> 00:01:03,889 - Whoo! Carpool Karaoke! 35 00:01:03,933 --> 00:01:06,109 - That's what I said! [laughs] 36 00:01:06,153 --> 00:01:07,284 - That's what she said! 37 00:01:07,328 --> 00:01:09,721 - That's... wild. 38 00:01:09,765 --> 00:01:12,724 [upbeat music] 39 00:01:12,768 --> 00:01:14,770 ♪ 40 00:01:14,813 --> 00:01:17,468 - It doesn't make any sense. Why are you guys carpooling 41 00:01:17,512 --> 00:01:19,340 when you live so far apart? 42 00:01:19,383 --> 00:01:21,124 You literally have to drive past the store 43 00:01:21,168 --> 00:01:22,734 to pick each other up. 44 00:01:22,778 --> 00:01:25,302 - I'm surprised this hasn't occurred to either one of you 45 00:01:25,346 --> 00:01:28,392 during your long morning drives to each other's houses. 46 00:01:28,436 --> 00:01:31,395 - You know what, Cheyenne? You are really good 47 00:01:31,439 --> 00:01:33,136 at this logistics stuff. You should be planning 48 00:01:33,180 --> 00:01:34,398 everybody's carpools. 49 00:01:34,442 --> 00:01:35,791 - Really? You think so? 50 00:01:35,834 --> 00:01:37,445 - Yeah, you're really great at it. 51 00:01:37,488 --> 00:01:39,229 - You have a gift for logistics. 52 00:01:39,273 --> 00:01:42,493 - Oh, because I could. I mean, I could do it right now. 53 00:01:42,537 --> 00:01:46,845 - Now would be great. - Okay. I'm gonna. 54 00:01:46,889 --> 00:01:48,238 - Get it, girl! 55 00:01:50,458 --> 00:01:52,373 - Why don't you just tell everybody you're dating? 56 00:01:52,416 --> 00:01:54,462 This is the most boring secret I've ever had to live with. 57 00:01:54,505 --> 00:01:56,116 - We don't need everybody in our business, okay? 58 00:01:56,159 --> 00:01:57,769 This place loves gossip. 59 00:01:57,813 --> 00:01:59,119 - Well, at least get better about hiding it. 60 00:01:59,162 --> 00:02:00,424 - What are you talking about? 61 00:02:00,468 --> 00:02:01,860 We're not acting different around each other. 62 00:02:01,904 --> 00:02:03,166 - I mean, it's obvious to me, 63 00:02:03,210 --> 00:02:05,342 but I'm more perceptive than most. 64 00:02:05,386 --> 00:02:07,649 Most people didn't even notice that Henry and Jay 65 00:02:07,692 --> 00:02:09,216 have been hooking up. 66 00:02:09,259 --> 00:02:12,175 I mean, it seems obvious to me. 67 00:02:12,219 --> 00:02:14,264 - There's an opening at the Fenton's store, 68 00:02:14,308 --> 00:02:16,223 and they said that I could transfer. 69 00:02:16,266 --> 00:02:19,139 You just need to sign this form. 70 00:02:21,532 --> 00:02:23,621 - Wait, is this about Jonah? 71 00:02:23,665 --> 00:02:25,884 Because I can make him take you back, okay? 72 00:02:25,928 --> 00:02:28,452 Yeah, I'm his boss. He's gotta do what I say. 73 00:02:28,496 --> 00:02:32,108 - That's so generous of you to offer 74 00:02:32,152 --> 00:02:34,328 to force someone to be with me. 75 00:02:34,371 --> 00:02:36,895 Makes me feel really good about myself. 76 00:02:36,939 --> 00:02:38,375 - It should. 77 00:02:38,419 --> 00:02:40,160 - Uh, but no, this isn't about Jonah. 78 00:02:40,203 --> 00:02:43,728 I mean, the Fenton location is just a lot closer to my house. 79 00:02:43,772 --> 00:02:48,037 - Well, if everyone only worked at places that were close 80 00:02:48,080 --> 00:02:52,998 to their house, then I'd only work at my neighbor's. 81 00:02:53,042 --> 00:02:54,870 - Yeah, that's a good point. 82 00:02:54,913 --> 00:02:57,525 - Should we get a scented candle for our nightstand? 83 00:02:57,568 --> 00:02:58,569 - Yeah. 84 00:02:58,613 --> 00:03:00,092 - This one smells like peanut butter. 85 00:03:00,136 --> 00:03:02,921 - Oh! [laughs] 86 00:03:02,965 --> 00:03:05,185 I already got a jelly one. 87 00:03:05,228 --> 00:03:07,230 - PB&J. - [laughs] 88 00:03:07,274 --> 00:03:09,232 - Jay! 89 00:03:09,276 --> 00:03:10,581 What are you doing here? 90 00:03:12,583 --> 00:03:15,238 - Jerry and I are moving in together. 91 00:03:15,282 --> 00:03:18,937 - Oh. Wow. Congratulations, Sandra. 92 00:03:18,981 --> 00:03:21,549 Enjoy my HPV. 93 00:03:23,246 --> 00:03:24,682 - Thank you. 94 00:03:24,726 --> 00:03:28,251 - Hey, Mateo, how many times in a row 95 00:03:28,295 --> 00:03:30,514 have you been employee of the month again? 96 00:03:30,558 --> 00:03:32,647 - Oh, I don't even keep track. 97 00:03:32,690 --> 00:03:35,519 - I think it's at least three-- - Five, it's five. Five. 98 00:03:35,563 --> 00:03:37,739 - Wow. That's a good run. 99 00:03:37,782 --> 00:03:42,396 Um, Kelly wants to transfer to a different store, 100 00:03:42,439 --> 00:03:45,094 and I was thinking maybe it's because 101 00:03:45,137 --> 00:03:47,270 she doesn't feel appreciated here. 102 00:03:47,314 --> 00:03:49,533 So, then I was thinking, 103 00:03:49,577 --> 00:03:53,581 "What if we made her Employee of the Month this month?" 104 00:03:53,624 --> 00:03:55,713 - Like, both of us at the same time? 105 00:03:55,757 --> 00:03:58,847 - Well, maybe just her, you know, as a token, 106 00:03:58,890 --> 00:04:01,110 to make her feel special. 107 00:04:01,153 --> 00:04:03,808 - Ah. What a cool idea. 108 00:04:03,852 --> 00:04:05,419 - Thank you. 109 00:04:05,462 --> 00:04:06,768 - So we would take it away from me-- 110 00:04:06,811 --> 00:04:08,726 - Yup. - And give it to her. 111 00:04:08,770 --> 00:04:10,075 - Yes! 112 00:04:10,119 --> 00:04:11,686 - Love that, so much. 113 00:04:11,729 --> 00:04:12,948 - Great. 114 00:04:12,991 --> 00:04:14,863 - Although I do wonder-- devil's advocate... 115 00:04:14,906 --> 00:04:15,907 - Mm-hmm? 116 00:04:15,951 --> 00:04:17,735 - If it somehow cheapens the award 117 00:04:17,779 --> 00:04:20,912 by just handing it out to anyone, if that makes sense. 118 00:04:20,956 --> 00:04:24,742 - Well, she's not just anyone. I mean, Kelly is wonderful. 119 00:04:24,786 --> 00:04:27,354 - Oh! Absolutely. Without a doubt. 120 00:04:27,397 --> 00:04:29,007 Kelly's a delight. 121 00:04:29,051 --> 00:04:32,054 But at the same time, she's also, you know, 122 00:04:32,097 --> 00:04:35,710 terrible... at the job. 123 00:04:35,753 --> 00:04:37,494 - Yeah. 124 00:04:37,538 --> 00:04:39,801 - I got a map and marked down where everyone lived, 125 00:04:39,844 --> 00:04:42,107 and then I used logistics to figure out 126 00:04:42,151 --> 00:04:43,935 the most efficient carpools. 127 00:04:43,979 --> 00:04:46,503 - Wow. You really put a lot of effort into this. 128 00:04:46,547 --> 00:04:48,940 - Yeah, I haven't sold, like, anything today. 129 00:04:48,984 --> 00:04:50,464 Like, nothing. 130 00:04:50,507 --> 00:04:53,031 - A few thoughts: you've got Mark riding with Terrence. 131 00:04:53,075 --> 00:04:54,337 They hate each other. 132 00:04:54,381 --> 00:04:55,991 Sarah and Rob are going through a divorce. 133 00:04:56,034 --> 00:04:59,690 Sarah had that secret family. So did Rob. 134 00:04:59,734 --> 00:05:01,736 Um, see this line between Heather and Cody? 135 00:05:01,779 --> 00:05:04,042 That's a river. So how are they carpooling? 136 00:05:04,086 --> 00:05:05,609 Submarine? Yeah. 137 00:05:05,653 --> 00:05:08,133 Herman's riding with Rico, but Rico's got BO, 138 00:05:08,177 --> 00:05:09,352 and Herman's dead. 139 00:05:09,396 --> 00:05:11,311 You can't put Phil with anyone Korean. 140 00:05:11,354 --> 00:05:13,530 He's not racist. He's too into it. 141 00:05:13,574 --> 00:05:15,445 And I wouldn't ride with Elias 142 00:05:15,489 --> 00:05:17,665 even if you promised to murder my entire family. 143 00:05:17,708 --> 00:05:21,712 But, uh, other than those, nice work. 144 00:05:21,756 --> 00:05:23,540 - Do you think Garret's right? 145 00:05:23,584 --> 00:05:25,977 Are we acting like we like each other? 146 00:05:26,021 --> 00:05:28,328 - I don't know, I mean, maybe I'm... 147 00:05:28,371 --> 00:05:29,981 annoying you less than I used to. 148 00:05:30,025 --> 00:05:32,288 - Ah, no, that's not it. - Oh, yeah? 149 00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:33,550 Name three things I do 150 00:05:33,594 --> 00:05:35,073 that are actually annoying to you. 151 00:05:35,117 --> 00:05:36,466 - Just three? - And you can't say-- 152 00:05:36,510 --> 00:05:37,772 can't say asking this question. 153 00:05:37,815 --> 00:05:39,251 That doesn't count. It's too easy. 154 00:05:39,295 --> 00:05:40,514 Okay, come on. Let's hear 'em. 155 00:05:40,557 --> 00:05:41,993 - You know what? Enough chit-chat. 156 00:05:42,037 --> 00:05:43,343 Get back to work. 157 00:05:43,386 --> 00:05:45,388 - What are you doing? I'm just joking. 158 00:05:46,650 --> 00:05:48,826 I was working until you interrupted me. 159 00:05:48,870 --> 00:05:51,742 - Just do your job, Jonah. - You do your job, Amy. 160 00:05:51,786 --> 00:05:55,659 - I am doing my job-- telling you to do your job. 161 00:05:57,835 --> 00:06:00,360 - Not bad. - That was good. 162 00:06:00,403 --> 00:06:02,144 - Today, we honor 163 00:06:02,187 --> 00:06:05,756 one of our most valued and cherished employees. 164 00:06:05,800 --> 00:06:10,326 On behalf of store 1217, it is my privilege 165 00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:14,243 to award the Golden Vest... 166 00:06:14,286 --> 00:06:15,853 to Kelly Watson! 167 00:06:15,897 --> 00:06:17,507 - What? 168 00:06:17,551 --> 00:06:19,683 - Wait. The Golden Vest? 169 00:06:19,727 --> 00:06:24,035 - Yes. It's one of Cloud 9's highest honors. 170 00:06:24,079 --> 00:06:26,168 - Oh, Glenn, you really don't have to do all of this. 171 00:06:26,211 --> 00:06:29,650 - Shh. The Golden Vest! 172 00:06:29,693 --> 00:06:31,826 [whispers] Cheyenne. 173 00:06:31,869 --> 00:06:33,871 - Congratulations. - Yay. 174 00:06:37,222 --> 00:06:37,614 . 175 00:06:37,658 --> 00:06:39,573 [irreverent pizzicato music] 176 00:06:39,616 --> 00:06:41,009 - Really, Jonah? 177 00:06:41,052 --> 00:06:43,533 You're spraying all-purpose cleaner on the fruit? 178 00:06:43,577 --> 00:06:44,926 - You know what? Chill out. 179 00:06:44,969 --> 00:06:47,058 I'll fix it, all right? Stop shrieking. 180 00:06:47,102 --> 00:06:48,930 - Oh, so anytime a woman tells you what to do, it's shrieking? 181 00:06:48,973 --> 00:06:50,322 - Oh, don't make this about sexism. 182 00:06:50,366 --> 00:06:51,585 - Have you ever looked in the mirror, 183 00:06:51,628 --> 00:06:52,847 listened to your own voice-- 184 00:06:52,890 --> 00:06:54,457 - It's about being a lunatic! 185 00:06:54,501 --> 00:06:56,546 - Listen to yourself. You're shrieking! 186 00:07:00,158 --> 00:07:02,204 God, I hate that guy. 187 00:07:05,120 --> 00:07:06,643 - So sparkly. 188 00:07:07,992 --> 00:07:09,864 - I'm sorry? 189 00:07:09,907 --> 00:07:12,432 - All these months. Playing dumb. 190 00:07:12,475 --> 00:07:13,868 Just playing so dumb. 191 00:07:13,911 --> 00:07:15,522 All the time! [chuckles] 192 00:07:15,565 --> 00:07:18,742 Well, you knew exactly what you were doing. 193 00:07:18,786 --> 00:07:20,962 You were going for the gold. 194 00:07:21,005 --> 00:07:22,964 - Are you talking about the vest? 195 00:07:23,007 --> 00:07:25,140 - You can drop the act, Helen Mirren. 196 00:07:25,183 --> 00:07:26,489 You got what you wanted. 197 00:07:26,533 --> 00:07:27,795 - Mateo, you know that this is just 198 00:07:27,838 --> 00:07:29,971 some silly made-up award, right? 199 00:07:30,014 --> 00:07:31,755 I mean, it's completely meaningless. 200 00:07:31,799 --> 00:07:34,279 It's like Employee of the Month. 201 00:07:35,759 --> 00:07:38,501 - You are the most petty, jealous, and bitter person 202 00:07:38,545 --> 00:07:40,155 I've ever met. 203 00:07:43,114 --> 00:07:46,074 - [sighs] 204 00:07:46,117 --> 00:07:48,990 I gotta get the [bleep] out of here. 205 00:07:49,033 --> 00:07:51,514 - Need help finding anything, Jer-Bear? 206 00:07:51,558 --> 00:07:52,950 - Yeah, I'm looking for some art 207 00:07:52,994 --> 00:07:54,996 with just, like, words on it. 208 00:07:55,039 --> 00:07:59,130 Like maybe it says dream or cat or merlot. 209 00:07:59,174 --> 00:08:01,219 I don't know, I'm not an artist. 210 00:08:01,263 --> 00:08:03,004 - Let's see what we can find. 211 00:08:04,701 --> 00:08:06,616 You look amazing, by the way. 212 00:08:06,660 --> 00:08:08,662 What have you lost, like, 10 pounds? 213 00:08:08,705 --> 00:08:11,316 - I don't know. I've never weighed myself. 214 00:08:11,360 --> 00:08:13,405 - [laughs] 215 00:08:13,449 --> 00:08:15,538 You are so funny! 216 00:08:15,582 --> 00:08:17,888 You make me laugh harder than anybody! 217 00:08:17,932 --> 00:08:21,283 I mean, I am laughing so hard, I am crying. 218 00:08:21,326 --> 00:08:22,502 [laughs] 219 00:08:22,545 --> 00:08:25,635 Oh. Oh, sorry. 220 00:08:25,679 --> 00:08:27,681 I forgot I wasn't wearing a bra. 221 00:08:27,724 --> 00:08:29,726 - Uh, that's okay. 222 00:08:29,770 --> 00:08:34,252 - I am so embarrassed. Don't look at my face. 223 00:08:37,081 --> 00:08:39,214 - Nobody cares about your obnoxious opinions, Jonah! 224 00:08:39,257 --> 00:08:40,520 - Oh, obnoxious! 225 00:08:40,563 --> 00:08:42,609 That's a pretty big word for you, Amy! 226 00:08:42,652 --> 00:08:44,741 - Oh, sure, keep on calling me dumb, 227 00:08:44,785 --> 00:08:49,790 you slick-haired, insecure, sad little fancy boy. 228 00:08:49,833 --> 00:08:51,226 - What an insulting 229 00:08:51,269 --> 00:08:54,882 and antiquated thing for you to say to me. 230 00:08:54,925 --> 00:08:56,623 You know what? If I'm a fancy boy, 231 00:08:56,666 --> 00:08:58,712 you know what you are? - No, what am I? 232 00:08:58,755 --> 00:09:01,715 - You are a loud-mouthed, domineering, crazy little-- 233 00:09:01,758 --> 00:09:03,586 [whispering] Is bitch too-- - No, it's good. 234 00:09:03,630 --> 00:09:05,719 - Bitch! 235 00:09:05,762 --> 00:09:06,981 Yeah, I said it. 236 00:09:07,024 --> 00:09:09,244 - Don't you use that word with me! 237 00:09:09,287 --> 00:09:10,506 Take this! 238 00:09:10,550 --> 00:09:11,899 - Ow! 239 00:09:11,942 --> 00:09:14,162 You shoved me, Amy! What is wrong with you? 240 00:09:14,205 --> 00:09:15,685 - Yeah, I did. 241 00:09:15,729 --> 00:09:17,165 What are you gonna do about it, you wuss? 242 00:09:17,208 --> 00:09:18,862 Ow! 243 00:09:20,342 --> 00:09:24,433 Um, why would you slam my clipboard 244 00:09:24,476 --> 00:09:25,739 on the floor like that? 245 00:09:25,782 --> 00:09:27,828 - Nice pivot. 246 00:09:27,871 --> 00:09:30,526 - And then I realized that Dom always says 247 00:09:30,570 --> 00:09:33,050 creepy things to women when he's alone with them. 248 00:09:33,094 --> 00:09:35,923 So I had him pick up Jarrett before Amanda. 249 00:09:35,966 --> 00:09:38,490 But then the problem was, who is driving Debbie? 250 00:09:38,534 --> 00:09:40,884 And then I remembered, Debbie had that cocaine problem 251 00:09:40,928 --> 00:09:42,973 so she can't smell a thing. 252 00:09:43,017 --> 00:09:47,108 Which brings us back to Kyle the farter. 253 00:09:48,196 --> 00:09:49,893 Boom. 254 00:09:49,937 --> 00:09:51,460 - Now, you know a lot of these people 255 00:09:51,503 --> 00:09:53,331 don't work the same shift, right? 256 00:09:55,377 --> 00:09:57,466 - Thank you for bringing that to my attention. 257 00:09:57,509 --> 00:10:00,121 - I mean, they wouldn't even be at the store at the same time. 258 00:10:00,164 --> 00:10:01,992 - Okay, yeah, I get your point. 259 00:10:03,254 --> 00:10:04,299 - Hey! 260 00:10:04,342 --> 00:10:06,431 - Keep your saggy boobs to yourself. 261 00:10:06,475 --> 00:10:08,956 - Oops. Did Jerry say something? 262 00:10:08,999 --> 00:10:10,958 I didn't hear him complain at the time. 263 00:10:11,001 --> 00:10:15,136 - That's because he's very soft-spoken. 264 00:10:15,179 --> 00:10:16,267 - Ow. Stop. 265 00:10:16,311 --> 00:10:17,878 - You stop. 266 00:10:21,316 --> 00:10:24,319 - There she is. Mrs. Golden Vest. 267 00:10:24,362 --> 00:10:25,973 She's the best. 268 00:10:26,016 --> 00:10:29,150 - Did you sign my transfer papers yet? 269 00:10:29,193 --> 00:10:31,282 - But you won the Golden Vest. 270 00:10:31,326 --> 00:10:32,675 - Glenn. 271 00:10:32,719 --> 00:10:34,459 - Come on, don't leave us. 272 00:10:34,503 --> 00:10:36,679 I mean, I know it's not a perfect workplace, 273 00:10:36,723 --> 00:10:38,812 but we love each other here. 274 00:10:38,855 --> 00:10:41,945 - Keep your hands off him! He's mine! 275 00:10:41,989 --> 00:10:45,296 - Excuse me, I've got to go stop the love. 276 00:10:46,254 --> 00:10:48,691 - Oh, great, working next to Amy. 277 00:10:48,735 --> 00:10:51,346 I can't wait to be scowled at. - No! 278 00:10:51,389 --> 00:10:53,087 You do not talk to my best friend that way. 279 00:10:53,130 --> 00:10:54,610 - No, Dina-- - Butt out, Amy. 280 00:10:54,654 --> 00:10:56,699 Listen to me, you rejected American Girl doll. 281 00:10:56,743 --> 00:10:58,396 You think you're so great? 282 00:10:58,440 --> 00:11:00,181 Your boyish good looks aren't gonna age well. 283 00:11:00,224 --> 00:11:01,661 You're hitting a wall, pretty boy, 284 00:11:01,704 --> 00:11:02,836 at a hundred miles an hour. 285 00:11:02,879 --> 00:11:04,533 Yeah, you can already see it. 286 00:11:04,576 --> 00:11:07,797 The crow's feet, receding hairline, hunchback. 287 00:11:07,841 --> 00:11:09,886 To think I used to masturbate to you. 288 00:11:09,930 --> 00:11:11,148 ♪ 289 00:11:11,192 --> 00:11:12,410 - Oh. - Multiple times a day. 290 00:11:15,587 --> 00:11:15,762 . 291 00:11:15,805 --> 00:11:18,068 - What is going on in this store? 292 00:11:18,112 --> 00:11:19,635 - Jonah and Amy are at each other's throats. 293 00:11:19,679 --> 00:11:22,682 Somebody started a Twitter campaign, #GoldenVestSoWhite. 294 00:11:22,725 --> 00:11:25,336 I mean, it's just been tense lately. 295 00:11:25,380 --> 00:11:26,947 - It must be my fault. 296 00:11:26,990 --> 00:11:31,342 It's like they say, the fish rots from the head. 297 00:11:31,386 --> 00:11:33,431 - What are you talking about? 298 00:11:33,475 --> 00:11:36,086 - It's the expression. Fish rots from the head. 299 00:11:36,130 --> 00:11:37,261 - I've never heard of that. 300 00:11:37,305 --> 00:11:38,567 Why would it rot from the head first? 301 00:11:38,610 --> 00:11:40,177 It would all rot simultaneously. 302 00:11:40,221 --> 00:11:42,353 - The point is, if things are toxic here, 303 00:11:42,397 --> 00:11:44,268 it's my job to fix it. 304 00:11:44,312 --> 00:11:45,922 - If anything, the guts would rot first, 305 00:11:45,966 --> 00:11:47,141 they're full of feces. 306 00:11:47,184 --> 00:11:48,708 Where are you getting this head thing? 307 00:11:48,751 --> 00:11:50,927 I mean, whoever told you that was not an ichthyologist. 308 00:11:50,971 --> 00:11:52,755 - I don't care how a fish rots. 309 00:11:52,799 --> 00:11:55,105 - Well, I don't care for you spreading lies about fish. 310 00:11:55,149 --> 00:11:56,628 - How is that a lie? 311 00:11:56,672 --> 00:11:59,806 [tinny music playing over stereo] 312 00:11:59,849 --> 00:12:04,636 ♪ 313 00:12:04,680 --> 00:12:07,465 A toxic workplace is a workplace 314 00:12:07,509 --> 00:12:10,947 where an employee feels both unhappy and unwelcome. 315 00:12:10,991 --> 00:12:12,949 Now, what could cause that? 316 00:12:12,993 --> 00:12:15,473 - Uh, your supervisor being a giant pain in the ass? 317 00:12:15,517 --> 00:12:18,563 - Oh, wow, Jonah had a little comment, shocking. 318 00:12:18,607 --> 00:12:21,262 - Wow. Those two really don't get along. 319 00:12:21,305 --> 00:12:23,220 - Well, no, no, this is a perfect example. 320 00:12:23,264 --> 00:12:25,135 Like, you need to communicate better. 321 00:12:25,179 --> 00:12:27,311 Look, let's practice. 322 00:12:27,355 --> 00:12:29,444 Who wants to say something critical about me? 323 00:12:29,487 --> 00:12:32,316 - Oh! Oh, Oh, Oh. Pick me. 324 00:12:32,360 --> 00:12:34,275 Pick me. I've got so many. 325 00:12:34,318 --> 00:12:35,711 - Uh... - Come on. 326 00:12:35,755 --> 00:12:37,104 - Anyone? Amy! 327 00:12:37,147 --> 00:12:40,890 Why don't you say what you don't like about me? 328 00:12:40,934 --> 00:12:44,241 -Um, no, there really isn't anything. 329 00:12:44,285 --> 00:12:47,723 - Oh, come on. I'm not made of glass. 330 00:12:47,767 --> 00:12:50,813 - Uh, okay. [clears throat] 331 00:12:50,857 --> 00:12:53,381 I guess if I had to make a complaint, 332 00:12:53,424 --> 00:12:55,339 because you're forcing me to, 333 00:12:55,383 --> 00:13:01,737 I don't love the way you pronounce "measure." 334 00:13:03,652 --> 00:13:05,349 - Mm-hmm. 335 00:13:05,393 --> 00:13:06,873 Okay. Good. 336 00:13:09,571 --> 00:13:12,269 It's just... kind of hard to shake off here. 337 00:13:12,313 --> 00:13:15,577 Really took the wind out of me, but... 338 00:13:17,927 --> 00:13:21,844 Okay, we're back, okay. All right, moving on, um... 339 00:13:24,847 --> 00:13:27,589 No, I'm gonna need another minute. 340 00:13:29,504 --> 00:13:33,073 [light music plays] 341 00:13:33,116 --> 00:13:39,470 ♪ 342 00:13:39,514 --> 00:13:42,038 Okay, so one way to deal with conflict 343 00:13:42,082 --> 00:13:46,738 is to try and see it from the other person's point of view. 344 00:13:46,782 --> 00:13:50,786 Uh, for example, these two had a terrible breakup, 345 00:13:50,830 --> 00:13:54,050 which left Kelly feeling a lot of pain. 346 00:13:54,094 --> 00:13:58,098 So, Kelly, I want you to imagine that you're Jonah, 347 00:13:58,141 --> 00:14:03,277 and I want you, Jonah, to tell Kelly how you're feeling. 348 00:14:03,320 --> 00:14:05,453 Yeah, you can do this. 349 00:14:06,933 --> 00:14:11,894 - Okay, uh, Kelly, I'm sorry I was such a bad boyfriend. 350 00:14:11,938 --> 00:14:15,202 But I also realize that you should be able 351 00:14:15,245 --> 00:14:18,640 to transfer stores if you want to. 352 00:14:18,683 --> 00:14:20,903 - Um, yeah. That-that was okay. 353 00:14:20,947 --> 00:14:23,253 You know, it's always a little rough at first. 354 00:14:23,297 --> 00:14:28,432 Now, Kelly, I want you to tell Jonah what you're feeling. 355 00:14:28,476 --> 00:14:29,825 - You know what-- actually, I'm sorry-- 356 00:14:29,869 --> 00:14:31,305 could you have them switch clothes? 357 00:14:31,348 --> 00:14:33,002 It would help me visualize it. 358 00:14:33,046 --> 00:14:35,439 - That's interesting. 359 00:14:35,483 --> 00:14:38,878 - I'm just gonna do it like this, okay? 360 00:14:38,921 --> 00:14:43,795 Jonah, I don't feel you were fair to me-- 361 00:14:43,839 --> 00:14:45,841 - Wait a minute. This sounds nothing like Kelly. 362 00:14:45,885 --> 00:14:46,973 It's more like... 363 00:14:47,016 --> 00:14:48,800 [high-pitched] Hi, everybody! I'm Kelly! 364 00:14:48,844 --> 00:14:51,847 Nope. Wait. Hold on. Let's do this. 365 00:14:51,891 --> 00:14:53,588 Nice and accurate. How about it? 366 00:14:53,631 --> 00:14:56,199 - Dina, it's not about doing impressions. 367 00:14:56,243 --> 00:14:57,635 - Hey, it's me, Kelly! 368 00:14:57,679 --> 00:15:00,073 Boy, it sure is windy out today. 369 00:15:00,116 --> 00:15:02,075 Whoa! 370 00:15:02,118 --> 00:15:03,641 - That seems unnecessary. 371 00:15:03,685 --> 00:15:04,904 - Jonah, you told me you loved me. 372 00:15:04,947 --> 00:15:06,470 And then you dumped me so that you could 373 00:15:06,514 --> 00:15:07,950 have sex with that pregnant whore. 374 00:15:07,994 --> 00:15:09,343 - Hey! 375 00:15:09,386 --> 00:15:10,648 - These are Kelly's words. Not mine. 376 00:15:10,692 --> 00:15:12,085 - I don't sound like that. 377 00:15:12,128 --> 00:15:13,695 - It's a little more squeaky, like... 378 00:15:13,738 --> 00:15:15,566 [high-pitched] Hey, everybody, I'm Kelly! 379 00:15:15,610 --> 00:15:16,828 - No, it's more like... 380 00:15:16,872 --> 00:15:19,396 [high-pitched] Hi, everybody, I'm Kelly! 381 00:15:19,440 --> 00:15:21,355 - [high-pitched] Hi, everyone, I'm Kelly! 382 00:15:21,398 --> 00:15:22,530 - It's your girl, Kelly! 383 00:15:22,573 --> 00:15:26,099 [all impersonating Kelly] 384 00:15:29,537 --> 00:15:32,409 [light music plays] 385 00:15:32,453 --> 00:15:37,849 ♪ 386 00:15:37,893 --> 00:15:39,416 - [as Fran Drescher] Oh, my God. 387 00:15:39,460 --> 00:15:42,158 These customers are so handsome. 388 00:15:42,202 --> 00:15:44,204 How am I supposed to work checkout? 389 00:15:44,247 --> 00:15:47,424 I'm too busy checking them out. 390 00:15:47,468 --> 00:15:49,861 - Okay. Thank you, Cheyenne. 391 00:15:49,905 --> 00:15:51,951 Now we know what it would sound like 392 00:15:51,994 --> 00:15:54,040 if Fran Drescher worked at Cloud 9. 393 00:15:54,083 --> 00:15:55,693 - Ah. That was so good. 394 00:15:55,737 --> 00:15:57,478 - [as Fran Drescher] Aww, thanks, doll. 395 00:15:57,521 --> 00:15:59,349 - I don't understand how this is helping. 396 00:15:59,393 --> 00:16:01,047 - I don't even know anymore. 397 00:16:01,090 --> 00:16:03,571 - Oh, wait, wait, wait. Who is this? 398 00:16:03,614 --> 00:16:07,923 I'm Sandra, and I'm a dirty slut who goes around 399 00:16:07,967 --> 00:16:10,534 stealing other people's boyfriends. 400 00:16:10,578 --> 00:16:12,101 - Oh, yeah? Well, who is this? 401 00:16:12,145 --> 00:16:15,017 I'm Carol, I'm a jealous psycho stalker who can't take 402 00:16:15,061 --> 00:16:17,541 the fact that Jerry chose Sandra over me. 403 00:16:17,585 --> 00:16:18,890 And now they're moving in together, 404 00:16:18,934 --> 00:16:20,849 and they're gonna be so happy. 405 00:16:20,892 --> 00:16:25,245 And I'll be alone. Which is sad. 406 00:16:25,288 --> 00:16:27,769 Because maybe I was happy with Jerry. 407 00:16:27,812 --> 00:16:29,640 But Sandra didn't care about my feelings. 408 00:16:29,684 --> 00:16:32,034 She just took what she wanted. 409 00:16:32,078 --> 00:16:35,385 Which people have always done to her. 410 00:16:35,429 --> 00:16:39,694 Maybe I only seem crazy because I'm lonely. 411 00:16:39,737 --> 00:16:45,961 Just a person who had love, and now it's gone. 412 00:16:48,355 --> 00:16:51,619 - Wow, Sandra. 413 00:16:51,662 --> 00:16:54,535 That was-- good breakthrough. 414 00:16:54,578 --> 00:16:55,753 - Yeah, but that didn't solve anything. 415 00:16:55,797 --> 00:16:57,059 - It's not about solving. 416 00:16:57,103 --> 00:17:00,062 It's about communication and empathy. 417 00:17:00,106 --> 00:17:03,283 - Screw empathy. I want Jerry back. 418 00:17:03,326 --> 00:17:04,893 - What? No. 419 00:17:04,936 --> 00:17:07,026 - Finders keepers. That is the law. 420 00:17:07,069 --> 00:17:08,592 - I think she should give him back. 421 00:17:08,636 --> 00:17:09,811 - How do we decide? 422 00:17:09,854 --> 00:17:11,247 - We could let Jerry decide. 423 00:17:11,291 --> 00:17:12,335 - How about we flip a coin? 424 00:17:12,379 --> 00:17:13,815 Winner takes Jerry, agreed? 425 00:17:13,858 --> 00:17:15,077 - No, I don't think-- - I'm good with that. 426 00:17:15,121 --> 00:17:16,165 - You guys, this is crazy. 427 00:17:16,209 --> 00:17:17,775 - Let the coin do its work. 428 00:17:17,819 --> 00:17:19,255 - Guys, listen, I'm not agreeing to give Jerry up. 429 00:17:19,299 --> 00:17:21,953 - Sandra, call it in the air. - No, no, heads! 430 00:17:21,997 --> 00:17:24,304 - Tails. Carol, he's all yours. 431 00:17:24,347 --> 00:17:25,348 - Yes! 432 00:17:25,392 --> 00:17:28,177 [all gasping] 433 00:17:28,221 --> 00:17:29,744 - No. 434 00:17:29,787 --> 00:17:31,615 - [as Fran Drescher] Uh-oh! [laughs] 435 00:17:31,659 --> 00:17:33,617 - [laughs] So good. 436 00:17:37,099 --> 00:17:37,230 . 437 00:17:37,273 --> 00:17:40,146 - Hey, how's it going? 438 00:17:40,189 --> 00:17:43,192 - Well, should I answer that as Jonah or Kelly? 439 00:17:43,236 --> 00:17:46,239 I don't do a really good Jonah. How is your Kelly? 440 00:17:46,282 --> 00:17:49,590 - [as Kelly] Hey, everybody, I'm Kelly. 441 00:17:49,633 --> 00:17:51,983 - [laughs] 442 00:17:52,027 --> 00:17:54,725 - Um, you were right. 443 00:17:54,769 --> 00:17:58,468 I-I was a bad boyfriend. 444 00:17:58,512 --> 00:18:00,514 I'm sorry. 445 00:18:00,557 --> 00:18:05,171 But I hope that's not the reason you're leaving. 446 00:18:06,259 --> 00:18:08,696 - It's--I don't know. 447 00:18:08,739 --> 00:18:11,046 It's just time for me to move on. 448 00:18:11,090 --> 00:18:12,700 Try something new. 449 00:18:12,743 --> 00:18:15,529 Like, um, like, what's it like to stock flatware 450 00:18:15,572 --> 00:18:18,184 at a different Cloud 9? I want to find out. 451 00:18:18,227 --> 00:18:19,968 - I can't even imagine. 452 00:18:20,011 --> 00:18:21,230 - It doesn't matter anyway. 453 00:18:21,274 --> 00:18:24,146 I can't get Glenn to sign the transfer. 454 00:18:24,190 --> 00:18:27,149 [as Glenn] Because we're a family, and I'm a man baby 455 00:18:27,193 --> 00:18:29,760 who won't let anyone leave! 456 00:18:29,804 --> 00:18:31,284 I can do impressions too. 457 00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:36,854 - I can do impressions too. - Oh, yeah? 458 00:18:36,898 --> 00:18:40,162 - Yeah, do you know Gail? - Uh, no? 459 00:18:40,206 --> 00:18:42,556 - Ah, too bad. I do a great Gail. 460 00:18:44,166 --> 00:18:45,211 - For each day of the week, 461 00:18:45,254 --> 00:18:46,951 each route has three variations-- 462 00:18:46,995 --> 00:18:48,388 one primary and two alternates 463 00:18:48,431 --> 00:18:50,955 based on shifts and road closures. 464 00:18:50,999 --> 00:18:53,306 Now, if you're that week's ride captain, 465 00:18:53,349 --> 00:18:57,136 it's your responsibility to delegate and sub-delegate-- 466 00:18:57,179 --> 00:18:59,660 - I'm sorry, I don't want to carpool. 467 00:18:59,703 --> 00:19:01,879 - Well, why wouldn't you-- 468 00:19:01,923 --> 00:19:03,490 - My drive is my only "me" time. 469 00:19:03,533 --> 00:19:05,405 And I don't want to clean my car. 470 00:19:05,448 --> 00:19:06,797 - I agree. 471 00:19:06,841 --> 00:19:08,364 This just seems like I'd have to leave my house 472 00:19:08,408 --> 00:19:10,149 a lot earlier and get home a lot later. 473 00:19:10,192 --> 00:19:11,367 - I need my car here. 474 00:19:11,411 --> 00:19:13,369 It's where I go to cry at lunch. 475 00:19:20,855 --> 00:19:23,597 - I don't know, Mateo... I'm starting to think 476 00:19:23,640 --> 00:19:26,034 that whole meeting was a waste of time. 477 00:19:26,077 --> 00:19:27,296 - Cheyenne killed. 478 00:19:27,340 --> 00:19:29,820 - Hey, Glenn, uh, I've been thinking. 479 00:19:29,864 --> 00:19:33,172 What if the problem wasn't actually a toxic workplace 480 00:19:33,215 --> 00:19:36,218 but a toxic worker? 481 00:19:36,262 --> 00:19:39,874 - Elias is my brother-in-law. Jerusha would kill me. 482 00:19:39,917 --> 00:19:41,049 - Oh, no, no, no. That's not-- 483 00:19:41,092 --> 00:19:43,747 no, I actually was thinking Kelly. 484 00:19:43,791 --> 00:19:45,184 - Kelly? 485 00:19:45,227 --> 00:19:47,925 - She's negative, she's unpleasant. 486 00:19:47,969 --> 00:19:49,536 - She kicked a child. 487 00:19:49,579 --> 00:19:51,320 - What? - Well, that's not-- 488 00:19:51,364 --> 00:19:53,322 I don't-- I don't know that to be true. 489 00:19:53,366 --> 00:19:55,846 But I do think that Kelly is the problem. 490 00:19:55,890 --> 00:19:58,284 I mean, think about it. Before she worked here, 491 00:19:58,327 --> 00:20:00,895 did you think of this place as toxic? 492 00:20:00,938 --> 00:20:03,202 - No. - And what about now? 493 00:20:05,029 --> 00:20:06,988 - Oh, my God. 494 00:20:07,031 --> 00:20:08,424 - So it's just over? 495 00:20:08,468 --> 00:20:12,036 - I'm sorry. I tried as hard as I could. 496 00:20:12,080 --> 00:20:14,256 - Did you say best two out of three? 497 00:20:14,300 --> 00:20:18,217 - No... I wish I had thought of that. 498 00:20:18,260 --> 00:20:20,088 - I wish you had too. 499 00:20:22,395 --> 00:20:24,614 I'll always love you. 500 00:20:24,658 --> 00:20:28,575 - That doesn't matter. You're with Carol now. 501 00:20:31,404 --> 00:20:33,667 - Can we still be friends? 502 00:20:33,710 --> 00:20:35,190 - Carol said no. 503 00:20:40,717 --> 00:20:43,198 - I don't appreciate you trashing me 504 00:20:43,242 --> 00:20:44,808 and laughing behind my back. 505 00:20:44,852 --> 00:20:47,724 - I never laugh at you, Jonah. You never say anything funny. 506 00:20:47,768 --> 00:20:49,465 - Oh, hey, there's nobody else around. 507 00:20:49,509 --> 00:20:50,901 We can stop. 508 00:20:50,945 --> 00:20:53,252 Do you, uh, do you feel like seeing a movie tonight? 509 00:20:53,295 --> 00:20:54,775 - No I don't feel like seeing a movie right now. 510 00:20:54,818 --> 00:20:56,385 - I just said there's nobody around. 511 00:20:56,429 --> 00:20:57,865 We don't have to fight anymore. 512 00:20:57,908 --> 00:20:59,867 - Okay, well I can't just switch it off on a dime. 513 00:20:59,910 --> 00:21:01,869 - So are we still fighting? 514 00:21:01,912 --> 00:21:03,044 - Yeah, kind of. 515 00:21:03,087 --> 00:21:04,915 Just give me a minute. It'll fade. 516 00:21:04,959 --> 00:21:08,267 - Take all the time you need-- - Don't tell me what to do. 517 00:21:08,310 --> 00:21:10,486 - Well, good luck to you, Kelly. 518 00:21:10,530 --> 00:21:13,402 - Thank you, Glenn. Bye! 519 00:21:13,446 --> 00:21:15,665 - Bye! - Bye, Kel! 520 00:21:15,709 --> 00:21:18,015 - Good luck to the Fenton store. 521 00:21:18,059 --> 00:21:19,974 They are going to need it. 522 00:21:20,017 --> 00:21:22,193 [irreverent music]