1
00:00:04,843 --> 00:00:06,960
_

2
00:00:08,800 --> 00:00:10,733
This is a really big moment, all right?

3
00:00:10,767 --> 00:00:13,100
We've been waiting for this
moment for a long time, right?

4
00:00:13,169 --> 00:00:14,790
I mean, you're gonna finally meet

5
00:00:14,815 --> 00:00:18,049
your baby sister for the first time.

6
00:00:19,330 --> 00:00:20,741
You know,

7
00:00:20,766 --> 00:00:23,536
her name is Talia Collins Short,

8
00:00:23,561 --> 00:00:25,827
and she's gonna be in your life forever.

9
00:00:26,759 --> 00:00:28,036
Oh, boy.

10
00:00:28,209 --> 00:00:30,005
And-and she's gonna look up to you,

11
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and she's gonna want to hold your hand,

12
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you know, even when you're 80.

13
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You'll be just two old
ladies who hold hands

14
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and watch sunsets together.

15
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Doesn't that sound nice?

16
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Can I push the buttons?

17
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Yeah, fine. Go for it.

18
00:00:44,853 --> 00:00:46,686
Knock yourself out.

19
00:00:51,186 --> 00:00:52,519
Come on.

20
00:00:52,739 --> 00:00:54,653
- Hey, honey.
- Are you guys here?

21
00:00:54,722 --> 00:00:57,145
Oh, I can't wait for the girls to meet.

22
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Yeah, I know. Can you believe it?

23
00:00:58,942 --> 00:01:00,793
We're a family of four.

24
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Now we can each be one
of our kids' favorites.

25
00:01:03,700 --> 00:01:05,681
Well, that's not necessarily true.

26
00:01:05,706 --> 00:01:07,361
- Well...
- Hey, did you put Lark

27
00:01:07,386 --> 00:01:08,485
in that special dress?

28
00:01:08,568 --> 00:01:10,768
Yep, and, uh, I've got the gift

29
00:01:10,837 --> 00:01:13,404
from her to the baby, the
gift from the baby to her,

30
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the gift from me to
you and nothing for me.

31
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So, everyone's taken care of.

32
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You're doing a great job, honey.

33
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Thanks. You know, I know they say

34
00:01:20,480 --> 00:01:22,480
going from one kid to two is hard,

35
00:01:22,548 --> 00:01:26,119
but I'm gonna be
honest, so far, so good.

36
00:01:26,213 --> 00:01:27,459
I'll see you in a second.

37
00:01:31,391 --> 00:01:32,657
No, Lark! No!

38
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Lark! No.

39
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Come on.

40
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Do you know where the burn unit is?

41
00:01:46,506 --> 00:01:47,972
I can't help you. I'm sorry.

42
00:01:48,134 --> 00:01:49,245
Jerk.

43
00:01:50,845 --> 00:01:53,311
Lark! Lark!

44
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That's not good.

45
00:01:58,095 --> 00:02:00,718
Officer. Officer, I-I lost my kid.

46
00:02:00,787 --> 00:02:03,020
She's, uh, four years old,
she has short brown hair,

47
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uh, she's got a big heart
and-and her favorite color

48
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is-is every color.

49
00:02:06,759 --> 00:02:08,959
- Have you tried the morgue?
- Oh, God.

50
00:02:09,028 --> 00:02:09,960
What? It's next to the McDonald's.

51
00:02:09,985 --> 00:02:11,128
All the kids end up there.

52
00:02:11,197 --> 00:02:13,731
Well, why didn't you
just say McDonald's?

53
00:02:16,936 --> 00:02:18,536
Lark! Lark!

54
00:02:18,561 --> 00:02:20,571
Lark! Lark!

55
00:02:21,547 --> 00:02:23,614
Oh, no.

56
00:02:23,639 --> 00:02:25,309
Uh, hey, honey.

57
00:02:25,378 --> 00:02:26,877
Hey, where are you guys?

58
00:02:26,946 --> 00:02:29,046
Uh, w-we just got turned
around a little bit.

59
00:02:29,115 --> 00:02:31,048
Yeah. You know, hospitals
are like casinos.

60
00:02:31,117 --> 00:02:33,718
They-they just don't want you to leave.

61
00:02:33,786 --> 00:02:35,252
That's literally the exact opposite

62
00:02:35,321 --> 00:02:37,088
of what a hospital wants.

63
00:02:37,156 --> 00:02:38,889
Hey, honey, will you
put Lark on the phone?

64
00:02:38,914 --> 00:02:40,725
I just want to prepare her for this.

65
00:02:40,793 --> 00:02:43,861
Lark can't talk right
now. Um, she has got, uh,

66
00:02:43,930 --> 00:02:45,563
some gumballs in her mouth.

67
00:02:45,631 --> 00:02:47,932
Yeah. S-She's probably
got, like, 20 in there.

68
00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:49,500
What? Is that safe?

69
00:02:50,168 --> 00:02:52,068
Well, you know, this is a hospital, Jen.

70
00:02:52,093 --> 00:02:54,905
Uh, there's help around every corner.

71
00:02:54,930 --> 00:02:57,624
Will somebody please help me?

72
00:02:58,362 --> 00:02:59,867
Lark?

73
00:03:03,516 --> 00:03:05,516
Hello? Hello?

74
00:03:05,585 --> 00:03:07,852
I need some help here!

75
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Congratulations.

76
00:03:09,155 --> 00:03:11,176
- Oh.
- What's the matter?

77
00:03:11,201 --> 00:03:12,239
I lost Lark.

78
00:03:12,264 --> 00:03:14,122
Honey, listen, just take a breath, okay?

79
00:03:14,147 --> 00:03:16,471
It's no big deal. Kids
run off, all right?

80
00:03:16,496 --> 00:03:17,928
How long has she been gone?

81
00:03:17,997 --> 00:03:19,730
I don't know. Maybe three minutes?

82
00:03:19,799 --> 00:03:22,104
Three minutes? Oh, my gosh!

83
00:03:22,129 --> 00:03:24,112
Greg, why are you
standing here? I got this!

84
00:03:24,137 --> 00:03:27,571
You go, run! Why are you not
looking for her? Call her name!

85
00:03:27,640 --> 00:03:29,907
Lark? Oh...

86
00:03:29,976 --> 00:03:32,076
Oh, sorry.

87
00:03:32,410 --> 00:03:34,979
Whoa. Delicious. Uh, whoa, uhp.

88
00:03:35,047 --> 00:03:36,881
Oh! Lark!

89
00:03:42,424 --> 00:03:43,687
Lark!

90
00:03:44,671 --> 00:03:46,984
I have the flu.

91
00:03:57,381 --> 00:04:01,071
I heard somebody was
in a grizzly accident.

92
00:04:08,675 --> 00:04:11,943
Excuse me. H-Have you
seen a little girl?

93
00:04:12,782 --> 00:04:14,249
Hi, Daddy.

94
00:04:14,274 --> 00:04:16,899
Lark! Lark! Oh!

95
00:04:16,989 --> 00:04:19,290
Oh. You're here. You're here.

96
00:04:19,358 --> 00:04:21,292
Oh, wow. Thank you so much.

97
00:04:21,360 --> 00:04:23,327
Oh. Are you okay?

98
00:04:23,688 --> 00:04:27,598
I saw a sleeping man with
a price tag on his toe.

99
00:04:28,743 --> 00:04:30,801
You didn't try to wake him up, did you?

100
00:04:31,003 --> 00:04:32,256
No.

101
00:04:32,505 --> 00:04:34,038
All right.

102
00:04:34,106 --> 00:04:36,307
Here we are.

103
00:04:36,332 --> 00:04:38,068
Finally. I was getting worried.

104
00:04:38,093 --> 00:04:39,659
Hi, sweetie.

105
00:04:40,046 --> 00:04:41,879
Mm. Oh.

106
00:04:41,948 --> 00:04:45,182
So someone has been asking to meet you.

107
00:04:45,251 --> 00:04:46,650
Should we go over?

108
00:04:46,719 --> 00:04:48,152
Here.

109
00:04:49,782 --> 00:04:51,715
She's so cute.

110
00:04:54,727 --> 00:04:56,660
I love you, Talia.

111
00:04:57,641 --> 00:04:59,830
It's just how I pictured it.

112
00:04:59,899 --> 00:05:03,000
See, honey? I told you, we got this.

113
00:05:03,069 --> 00:05:04,635
Yeah, we do.

114
00:05:05,250 --> 00:05:06,303
Oh!

115
00:05:06,372 --> 00:05:07,972
Oh, thank God. You found her.

116
00:05:08,040 --> 00:05:10,040
Oh, Lark. I was worried

117
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that we'd lost you forever. Oh...

118
00:05:13,763 --> 00:05:15,646
Did you lose Lark?

119
00:05:15,671 --> 00:05:18,682
No.

120
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Code pink. Missing child.

121
00:05:21,002 --> 00:05:22,586
Answers to the name of Lark.

122
00:05:25,625 --> 00:05:27,265
I never wanted to be
one of these parents,

123
00:05:27,293 --> 00:05:28,993
but I think we should get a leash.

124
00:05:31,283 --> 00:05:32,939
_

125
00:05:36,197 --> 00:05:37,746
Hey, Sophia, when are
you gonna come join

126
00:05:37,770 --> 00:05:40,267
the rest of the family for dinner?

127
00:05:40,292 --> 00:05:41,917
Oh, you have that
constipated look on your face.

128
00:05:41,941 --> 00:05:43,073
You need a banana?

129
00:05:43,142 --> 00:05:45,776
No. It's my math homework.

130
00:05:45,845 --> 00:05:47,211
It's impossible.

131
00:05:47,280 --> 00:05:48,379
I can't do it.

132
00:05:48,447 --> 00:05:50,045
Now I know why people skateboard.

133
00:05:50,070 --> 00:05:52,917
Oh, sweetie, listen,
it's okay. I can help you.

134
00:05:52,985 --> 00:05:56,154
Hey. Can I go to a silent
rave with Jenna tonight?

135
00:05:56,179 --> 00:05:58,022
Absolutely not. It's a school night.

136
00:05:58,090 --> 00:06:01,625
Fine. I'll just stay in
and send pictures of my butt

137
00:06:01,694 --> 00:06:02,912
to every boy in school.

138
00:06:02,937 --> 00:06:04,970
Yeah, okay, sweetie, have a good time.

139
00:06:04,995 --> 00:06:08,012
All right, doing a little
math. Okay, so we've got...

140
00:06:08,037 --> 00:06:09,199
W-Where are the numbers?

141
00:06:09,268 --> 00:06:10,828
Where are the plus signs? What is this?

142
00:06:10,870 --> 00:06:12,536
- This is the prompt. 
- Mm-hmm.

143
00:06:12,638 --> 00:06:13,938
And these are the unit cubes.

144
00:06:14,368 --> 00:06:15,973
I don't...

145
00:06:16,462 --> 00:06:17,608
Mom, it's okay.

146
00:06:17,633 --> 00:06:19,577
I'll just copy off
Beverly in the morning.

147
00:06:19,645 --> 00:06:21,478
I'm pretty sure she's in love with me.

148
00:06:21,503 --> 00:06:23,445
Okay, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

149
00:06:23,845 --> 00:06:27,117
I am four credits shy
of a college degree.

150
00:06:31,076 --> 00:06:33,319
Were those four credits for math?

151
00:06:33,608 --> 00:06:34,933
Ugh.

152
00:06:38,230 --> 00:06:40,355
Mom, I'm hungry.

153
00:06:40,380 --> 00:06:43,110
- You'll eat once we get this.
- Get what?

154
00:06:43,135 --> 00:06:45,135
Your daughter's stupid homework.

155
00:06:45,204 --> 00:06:46,971
Ooh, I'm good at homework.

156
00:06:47,387 --> 00:06:48,472
What is this?

157
00:06:48,541 --> 00:06:50,941
- Math.
- I disagree.

158
00:06:51,010 --> 00:06:52,276
I'll just Google it.

159
00:06:52,345 --> 00:06:54,532
How are you gonna Google
a bunch of grids on a page?

160
00:06:54,557 --> 00:06:56,391
Okay, wait, wait, wait,
listen, we are not gonna

161
00:06:56,415 --> 00:06:58,150
pull the answers off the Internet, okay.

162
00:06:58,175 --> 00:06:59,528
'Cause it's not gonna be the day

163
00:06:59,552 --> 00:07:02,157
that our daughter's homework
is too difficult for us.

164
00:07:02,822 --> 00:07:05,089
You're a doctor. I'm a doctor's wife.

165
00:07:05,157 --> 00:07:07,257
We can handle a little
bit of middle school math.

166
00:07:07,326 --> 00:07:09,360
- Come on.
- All right, let me get at this thing.

167
00:07:09,428 --> 00:07:13,150
And then I'll climb up in
here and see what we got. Okay.

168
00:07:15,267 --> 00:07:17,736
I don't know, I give
up. This is that day.

169
00:07:17,761 --> 00:07:19,703
- Ooh, Colleen. Hey.
- Yeah?

170
00:07:19,728 --> 00:07:20,405
Hi.

171
00:07:20,430 --> 00:07:21,664
Hey, we're having a little trouble

172
00:07:21,688 --> 00:07:22,828
with some math in here.

173
00:07:22,853 --> 00:07:24,953
- Can you help us?
- Of course.

174
00:07:24,978 --> 00:07:26,977
Oh, great. Can you go get Jen?

175
00:07:27,523 --> 00:07:28,680
Thank you.

176
00:07:30,273 --> 00:07:32,449
- Eighteen.
- That's the answer?

177
00:07:32,518 --> 00:07:34,958
No, that's how many years
it's been since I've done math.

178
00:07:34,983 --> 00:07:37,955
Ugh! Come on, Jen, you're a lawyer.

179
00:07:38,024 --> 00:07:39,597
You go to an office.

180
00:07:39,622 --> 00:07:42,226
Those are facts about my job, yes.

181
00:07:42,294 --> 00:07:43,961
Do you want me to sue the school

182
00:07:44,030 --> 00:07:46,296
- for giving her homework?
- Can you do that?

183
00:07:46,365 --> 00:07:48,901
The teacher did say something
about a sequence pattern...

184
00:07:48,926 --> 00:07:51,168
You know what, honey,
let the grown-ups think.

185
00:07:51,237 --> 00:07:51,979
Okay?

186
00:07:52,004 --> 00:07:55,190
Look, I'm sure that it's secretly easy.

187
00:07:55,215 --> 00:07:56,884
We just don't know what it's asking

188
00:07:56,909 --> 00:08:00,678
or what it's about or,
you know, what it is.

189
00:08:00,746 --> 00:08:02,457
Why don't we ask Sam?
Didn't she just do this

190
00:08:02,481 --> 00:08:03,747
a few years ago?

191
00:08:03,772 --> 00:08:06,350
Because I am not
gonna ask a 16-year-old

192
00:08:06,419 --> 00:08:07,946
to help me with this homework.

193
00:08:07,971 --> 00:08:09,829
I can't believe you don't
have any faith in us.

194
00:08:09,854 --> 00:08:11,555
Heather, we are too old for math.

195
00:08:11,580 --> 00:08:13,346
All right, we're not too old.

196
00:08:13,552 --> 00:08:15,118
What is nine times seven?

197
00:08:15,475 --> 00:08:17,842
- See, we're too old for math.
- It's sixty...

198
00:08:17,867 --> 00:08:20,865
Hey, nobody asked you
to do math, Sophia.

199
00:08:20,890 --> 00:08:22,978
Okay, I happen to know
a nerd in this family

200
00:08:23,002 --> 00:08:25,253
who is, like, legitimately
good at this kind of stuff.

201
00:08:25,292 --> 00:08:27,838
Oh, Colleen? Yeah?

202
00:08:27,907 --> 00:08:29,707
Will you get Greg for me?

203
00:08:29,995 --> 00:08:31,275
Mm-hmm.

204
00:08:32,206 --> 00:08:35,946
Mm-hmm. Yep. Yep.

205
00:08:36,015 --> 00:08:37,856
You gotta figure that out. That's math.

206
00:08:37,881 --> 00:08:39,170
- Are you kidding me?
- Oh, come on.

207
00:08:39,194 --> 00:08:40,551
You dumb, lying nerd.

208
00:08:40,619 --> 00:08:42,953
I can't believe you guys
didn't ask me for help.

209
00:08:42,988 --> 00:08:44,621
"No, Colleen can't do numbers."

210
00:08:44,690 --> 00:08:46,630
Well, joke's on you.

211
00:08:46,655 --> 00:08:49,226
Wait, are you saying that
you understand unit cubes?

212
00:08:49,478 --> 00:08:51,762
Unit what? No. Sorry.

213
00:08:51,787 --> 00:08:53,130
I got confused for a second.

214
00:08:53,199 --> 00:08:54,409
You know what, I just remembered,

215
00:08:54,433 --> 00:08:56,002
I've got some math stuff at home,

216
00:08:56,027 --> 00:08:58,299
- so I'm gonna run and get it.
- Mm.

217
00:08:59,472 --> 00:09:01,205
She's not coming back, is she?

218
00:09:01,273 --> 00:09:02,539
Nope.

219
00:09:02,608 --> 00:09:04,541
Hey, did you guys figure it out?

220
00:09:04,610 --> 00:09:07,277
Yeah, Sophia, you should just
do what I used to do in school.

221
00:09:07,346 --> 00:09:09,663
Flirt with the teacher,
don't turn in your homework,

222
00:09:09,688 --> 00:09:11,315
and then turn in the teacher.

223
00:09:11,383 --> 00:09:12,663
Heather, go get Sam.

224
00:09:12,688 --> 00:09:15,119
No. Come on, how is it that
a group of educated adults

225
00:09:15,187 --> 00:09:16,942
- can't figure this out?
- Because we can't.

226
00:09:16,974 --> 00:09:17,788
It's too hard.

227
00:09:17,813 --> 00:09:19,858
Oh, it is not!

228
00:09:21,341 --> 00:09:23,808
I must've just forgotten the easy stuff.

229
00:09:24,777 --> 00:09:27,511
Okay, nine goes in the second box.

230
00:09:28,221 --> 00:09:29,869
27 goes over here.

231
00:09:29,894 --> 00:09:31,527
And the output is...

232
00:09:31,668 --> 00:09:33,801
- Uh, seven and a half?
- Yep.

233
00:09:33,908 --> 00:09:35,272
Ooh, I am turned on.

234
00:09:35,341 --> 00:09:37,775
- I never made it with a nerd before.
- Oh...

235
00:09:37,800 --> 00:09:40,677
Yep, 7.5. That's what I came up with.

236
00:09:40,702 --> 00:09:43,247
That's a really pretty
pattern on the page.

237
00:09:43,315 --> 00:09:44,848
- Mm.
- Mom, you're the best.

238
00:09:44,917 --> 00:09:46,510
Oh, thank you, sweetie.

239
00:09:46,535 --> 00:09:48,550
I love you 7.5 times more.

240
00:09:50,212 --> 00:09:51,566
Peach crumble in the dining room.

241
00:09:51,590 --> 00:09:55,192
All right, go get some dessert,
sweetie, you deserve it.

242
00:09:55,261 --> 00:09:58,128
Oh, look at that.

243
00:09:58,197 --> 00:09:59,429
Mom.

244
00:09:59,498 --> 00:10:00,664
Yeah?

245
00:10:00,733 --> 00:10:01,845
Oh, I know.

246
00:10:01,870 --> 00:10:06,438
I see you. Okay, listen,
this will cover pizza

247
00:10:06,463 --> 00:10:08,689
and what I hope is a soda.

248
00:10:08,714 --> 00:10:11,175
And how much for doing your homework?

249
00:10:11,517 --> 00:10:15,112
Go. Take your freaky outfit and go.

250
00:10:15,181 --> 00:10:16,647
Hey, hey!

251
00:10:16,761 --> 00:10:17,795
Love you.

252
00:10:20,647 --> 00:10:22,530
_

253
00:10:23,581 --> 00:10:25,448
Hey, uh, have you seen Mom?

254
00:10:25,516 --> 00:10:27,036
I need her to take Lucas to art class.

255
00:10:27,085 --> 00:10:28,517
I got a-a work emergency.

256
00:10:28,586 --> 00:10:29,769
Emergency?

257
00:10:29,794 --> 00:10:32,088
I thought you were a graphic dealer.

258
00:10:32,156 --> 00:10:33,356
I'm a graphic designer.

259
00:10:33,424 --> 00:10:35,351
And, yeah, there's an emergency.

260
00:10:35,376 --> 00:10:37,126
They wanted the logo in Helvetica,

261
00:10:37,195 --> 00:10:39,073
we made it in Arial, so
this is an all-hands-on-deck

262
00:10:39,097 --> 00:10:40,038
sort of situation.

263
00:10:40,063 --> 00:10:43,032
You know, in my day,
a work emergency was

264
00:10:43,101 --> 00:10:46,502
nearly 500 passengers
plummeting to their death.

265
00:10:46,571 --> 00:10:48,516
Dad, I'm not looking
for perspective, okay.

266
00:10:48,565 --> 00:10:50,765
I'm looking for a ride
for Lucas to art class.

267
00:10:50,834 --> 00:10:53,405
What's the big deal?
Just tell him to skip it.

268
00:10:53,430 --> 00:10:56,671
No. He really enjoys it,
and I'm trying to be a father

269
00:10:56,740 --> 00:10:59,174
who encourages him,
unlike, you know, you,

270
00:10:59,242 --> 00:11:01,743
who referred to art
class as "fart" class.

271
00:11:01,811 --> 00:11:03,444
I said that?

272
00:11:03,513 --> 00:11:05,513
- Yeah. Yeah, I know.
- Amazing.

273
00:11:05,582 --> 00:11:07,660
It was hilarious, especially
when you made me skip it

274
00:11:07,684 --> 00:11:08,783
to go to golf lessons.

275
00:11:08,852 --> 00:11:10,429
Well, it's incredible you remember that.

276
00:11:10,453 --> 00:11:11,953
- I forgot the whole thing.
- Yeah.

277
00:11:12,022 --> 00:11:13,818
Well, that's how trauma works, Dad.

278
00:11:13,843 --> 00:11:15,790
Well, tell that to Phil Donahue.

279
00:11:15,815 --> 00:11:17,192
Ah, great. Thank you.

280
00:11:17,260 --> 00:11:20,528
Okay, I'll-I'll take
the kid to art class.

281
00:11:20,597 --> 00:11:21,529
Really?

282
00:11:21,598 --> 00:11:22,897
Yeah, it'll give me a chance

283
00:11:22,966 --> 00:11:24,933
to get to know my new grandson.

284
00:11:25,001 --> 00:11:27,356
Yeah, okay. I think
he'd really like that.

285
00:11:27,450 --> 00:11:29,028
Great, huh?

286
00:11:30,270 --> 00:11:31,191
Dad?

287
00:11:31,216 --> 00:11:32,407
Hmm?

288
00:11:32,889 --> 00:11:34,556
Oh, you mean now?

289
00:11:38,114 --> 00:11:40,915
Well, I got to say I'm sorry
I ever doubted you, Dad.

290
00:11:40,984 --> 00:11:44,288
Lucas had a great time
hanging out with his Pop-Pop.

291
00:11:44,358 --> 00:11:46,788
In fact, here's a little
something to say thank you.

292
00:11:46,856 --> 00:11:48,890
Well, how about that.

293
00:11:48,959 --> 00:11:51,326
I swear, you art hasn't
gotten any better.

294
00:11:51,394 --> 00:11:52,663
That's from Lucas.

295
00:11:52,706 --> 00:11:54,740
He's really advanced, don't you think?

296
00:11:54,765 --> 00:11:56,998
Well, all I see is a
pile of brown rocks,

297
00:11:57,067 --> 00:12:00,218
but you know, I'll put it
up here in the art gallery.

298
00:12:00,243 --> 00:12:02,237
Oh, wow, that's awesome.

299
00:12:02,305 --> 00:12:03,762
I never made the fridge.

300
00:12:03,787 --> 00:12:05,051
Well, you got to earn it.

301
00:12:05,076 --> 00:12:08,620
I mean, this took Heather
six wine and design classes.

302
00:12:08,645 --> 00:12:11,746
Man, it's so great that he's
invested in something so young.

303
00:12:11,815 --> 00:12:13,581
Maybe I should double
up on his art classes.

304
00:12:13,650 --> 00:12:15,683
Why don't I keep taking him?

305
00:12:15,752 --> 00:12:17,418
- Really?
- Mm-hmm.

306
00:12:17,487 --> 00:12:19,287
I've got to say, I'm
kind of blown away, Dad.

307
00:12:19,356 --> 00:12:21,204
It's cool that you want
to be a part of his life.

308
00:12:21,228 --> 00:12:23,691
Well, I-I guess it's just because

309
00:12:23,760 --> 00:12:26,033
Lucas is my first grandson.

310
00:12:26,502 --> 00:12:29,330
But I'm your first grandson.

311
00:12:30,026 --> 00:12:31,244
No, I'm sure that he just means

312
00:12:31,268 --> 00:12:34,802
his first grandson with
a... you know, with a dream.

313
00:12:34,871 --> 00:12:37,472
But I had a band for years,

314
00:12:37,540 --> 00:12:40,208
and no one in this family
ever came to see me play.

315
00:12:40,277 --> 00:12:42,510
Oh, buddy, I'll come see you play.

316
00:12:42,579 --> 00:12:43,778
When's your next gig?

317
00:12:44,161 --> 00:12:45,493
I quit.

318
00:12:45,518 --> 00:12:47,624
Well, that's why I didn't support you.

319
00:12:47,649 --> 00:12:48,815
You're a quitter.

320
00:12:50,758 --> 00:12:52,998
- Hello?
- Hi, sweetie.

321
00:12:53,023 --> 00:12:55,523
- Hi.
- Your father and Lucas are still out.

322
00:12:55,592 --> 00:12:57,525
Oh, cool. Have you seen his artwork?

323
00:12:57,594 --> 00:12:59,961
Yeah, I saw the rocks on the fridge.

324
00:13:00,030 --> 00:13:02,969
Anything to cover up
Heather's drunken art.

325
00:13:03,719 --> 00:13:05,633
Isn't it so nice to
see Dad supporting Lucas

326
00:13:05,702 --> 00:13:06,634
in something that he loves.

327
00:13:06,703 --> 00:13:07,880
I mean, this is coming from the man

328
00:13:07,904 --> 00:13:09,904
who literally told me to quit art.

329
00:13:09,973 --> 00:13:11,572
Well, to be fair, dear,

330
00:13:11,641 --> 00:13:14,466
you were 36 and living in our garage.

331
00:13:14,794 --> 00:13:16,177
Yeah.

332
00:13:17,263 --> 00:13:19,466
What are Lucas' art
supplies still doing here?

333
00:13:19,669 --> 00:13:22,325
Why would they need art
supplies on the golf course?

334
00:13:22,591 --> 00:13:24,729
Why would they need a golf course?

335
00:13:24,846 --> 00:13:28,356
Because it's embarrassing to
drink at home at 11:00 a.m.?

336
00:13:29,065 --> 00:13:30,631
Damn it.

337
00:13:34,776 --> 00:13:37,733
Wow. Really thought
you had changed, Dad.

338
00:13:37,758 --> 00:13:39,210
I thought you were gonna support Lucas

339
00:13:39,234 --> 00:13:40,579
in a way that you never supported me.

340
00:13:40,603 --> 00:13:42,337
- Oh, geez. I can explain.
- No, no, no.

341
00:13:42,405 --> 00:13:43,825
You don't have to. I
think that we all know

342
00:13:43,849 --> 00:13:45,120
what's happening here.

343
00:13:45,145 --> 00:13:48,880
Look. This one is igneous, see?

344
00:13:50,983 --> 00:13:52,123
What's happening here?

345
00:13:52,148 --> 00:13:53,281
Well, he likes rocks.

346
00:13:53,350 --> 00:13:55,079
That's why we skipped fart class

347
00:13:55,104 --> 00:13:57,118
and came here. He hates art.

348
00:13:57,187 --> 00:13:58,553
What? That's not true.

349
00:13:58,621 --> 00:14:00,969
Who hates art and only loves rocks?

350
00:14:00,994 --> 00:14:02,924
I love you, I love you.

351
00:14:03,714 --> 00:14:07,181
What's worse is I think that's
an old doody from a goose.

352
00:14:07,206 --> 00:14:10,064
He doesn't like art? Why
didn't he tell me that?

353
00:14:10,133 --> 00:14:13,717
'Cause his dad is pushing
him to be something he wasn't.

354
00:14:14,069 --> 00:14:15,636
I made the same mistake you did.

355
00:14:15,705 --> 00:14:19,530
Well, you'll do better on the
next kid, if you can afford one.

356
00:14:20,007 --> 00:14:22,311
Thanks, Dad. Or...

357
00:14:23,007 --> 00:14:25,113
I could just support my
son no matter what he likes.

358
00:14:25,181 --> 00:14:28,713
I love this one, I love
this one, I love this one.

359
00:14:28,910 --> 00:14:30,885
I guess I could, too.

360
00:14:30,910 --> 00:14:34,105
You want to take in a quick nine?

361
00:14:34,690 --> 00:14:36,284
No, I hate golf.

362
00:14:36,574 --> 00:14:38,931
Well, then, we'll do it your way.

363
00:14:41,251 --> 00:14:43,789
Okay, I really want to see definition

364
00:14:43,814 --> 00:14:45,359
in those rose petals.

365
00:14:45,384 --> 00:14:46,915
Thanks for coming with me, Dad.

366
00:14:47,165 --> 00:14:48,569
Oh.

367
00:14:48,638 --> 00:14:52,774
I can see why Heather likes
this wine-ing and designing.

368
00:14:56,103 --> 00:14:59,038
Excuse me. You can't have alcohol here.

369
00:14:59,200 --> 00:15:01,841
Oh. Heather?

370
00:15:01,911 --> 00:15:02,950
Yeah?

371
00:15:03,019 --> 00:15:04,852
I thought this was the whole point.

372
00:15:04,877 --> 00:15:08,089
Oh. No, Dad. You have to
put it in a water bottle

373
00:15:08,114 --> 00:15:09,690
so no one knows you're drinking.

374
00:15:09,759 --> 00:15:10,958
Oh...

375
00:15:16,551 --> 00:15:18,457
_

376
00:15:19,001 --> 00:15:21,028
Thank you for coming over for tea.

377
00:15:21,053 --> 00:15:23,753
Sorry I was all out, but
I microwaved some Snapple.

378
00:15:23,965 --> 00:15:26,732
Mm. Mm-hmm.

379
00:15:26,801 --> 00:15:29,419
Hot strawberry kiwi.

380
00:15:29,444 --> 00:15:30,910
So, now that we have Lucas,

381
00:15:30,935 --> 00:15:32,872
and Jen and Greg have their new baby,

382
00:15:32,941 --> 00:15:35,641
I was thinking it's time
that we take a family photo.

383
00:15:35,710 --> 00:15:36,755
Ooh.

384
00:15:36,780 --> 00:15:39,449
- Family photo. No, no. 
- Mm-hmm.

385
00:15:39,474 --> 00:15:41,080
We don't want more things

386
00:15:41,149 --> 00:15:43,050
for Facebook to sell to the Russians.

387
00:15:43,075 --> 00:15:44,238
- Oh.
- We don't want that.

388
00:15:44,262 --> 00:15:47,587
You know what? I think I have
some tea bags in my purse.

389
00:15:47,612 --> 00:15:50,173
Not that this isn't delicious.

390
00:15:50,198 --> 00:15:51,220
Okay.

391
00:15:51,245 --> 00:15:52,573
I'll be right back.

392
00:15:52,618 --> 00:15:53,995
Okay, just so you know,

393
00:15:54,020 --> 00:15:57,254
my mom has never been
in a single family photo.

394
00:15:57,323 --> 00:15:59,389
She runs every time she sees a camera.

395
00:15:59,414 --> 00:16:01,299
Yeah, that's why nobody
can ever catch her on film.

396
00:16:01,323 --> 00:16:03,504
I mean, we have gotten a
couple blurs of her, like,

397
00:16:03,529 --> 00:16:05,095
loping through the kitchen.

398
00:16:05,131 --> 00:16:08,413
She's basically the Bigfoot
of suburban therapists.

399
00:16:08,788 --> 00:16:12,904
Okay, well, I am gonna convince
her to be in the family photo.

400
00:16:12,972 --> 00:16:14,505
Okay.

401
00:16:14,702 --> 00:16:17,350
- You're so cute. I love it.
- You go do that.

402
00:16:17,608 --> 00:16:22,022
Yeah, listen, she wouldn't even
take one for Lark's christening.

403
00:16:22,296 --> 00:16:24,061
My daughter was christened?

404
00:16:24,086 --> 00:16:26,991
Oh, yeah. You were on
a work trip in Houston.

405
00:16:30,960 --> 00:16:33,457
Joan, I really want
you in the family photo.

406
00:16:33,482 --> 00:16:35,262
It's not complete without you.

407
00:16:35,287 --> 00:16:37,461
Oh, thank you, dear,
but it's a hard pass.

408
00:16:37,530 --> 00:16:40,932
I-I really am miserable
getting photographed.

409
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:42,166
But you're so beautiful.

410
00:16:42,235 --> 00:16:43,968
Why do you hate the camera so much?

411
00:16:44,037 --> 00:16:46,635
I-I don't hate it, it hates me.

412
00:16:46,660 --> 00:16:48,005
In fourth grade,

413
00:16:48,107 --> 00:16:49,734
my smile was so pained

414
00:16:49,759 --> 00:16:51,686
in-in the class photo
that they called in

415
00:16:51,711 --> 00:16:55,112
a special investigator to
question all the teachers.

416
00:16:55,181 --> 00:16:56,614
Well, the camera doesn't hate you,

417
00:16:56,683 --> 00:16:58,616
it just needs to get to know you.

418
00:16:58,685 --> 00:17:01,485
So allow me to make the introduction.

419
00:17:01,554 --> 00:17:03,287
Are you gonna break into song?

420
00:17:03,356 --> 00:17:05,704
Nope, I'm gonna break
into my makeup kit.

421
00:17:05,729 --> 00:17:08,421
Because if you're just upset
about the way you look in photos,

422
00:17:08,446 --> 00:17:09,560
I can fix that.

423
00:17:09,629 --> 00:17:12,413
No, honey. I-I'm not
much of a makeup person.

424
00:17:12,438 --> 00:17:13,831
You know, where I grew up,

425
00:17:13,856 --> 00:17:16,866
the only person that wore
makeup was the butcher's wife,

426
00:17:16,891 --> 00:17:19,303
and she wasn't somebody
you wanted to emulate.

427
00:17:19,372 --> 00:17:20,902
Joan, trust me. In high school,

428
00:17:20,927 --> 00:17:22,493
I worked at the cosmetics counter,

429
00:17:22,518 --> 00:17:25,620
and I helped fix a ton
of weird-looking freaks.

430
00:17:25,645 --> 00:17:26,878
Not that you're one of them.

431
00:17:26,946 --> 00:17:28,813
I just don't think makeup's the answer.

432
00:17:29,014 --> 00:17:30,546
- Oh, really?
- Mm-hmm.

433
00:17:30,603 --> 00:17:31,983
Can you tell which eyebrow I lost

434
00:17:32,051 --> 00:17:33,953
in a sorority hazing incident?

435
00:17:33,978 --> 00:17:36,211
Right. No, left.

436
00:17:36,236 --> 00:17:38,023
No. No, r-the right.

437
00:17:38,048 --> 00:17:40,978
- Both.
- Oh, are you good.

438
00:17:41,439 --> 00:17:42,827
Thank you.

439
00:17:45,131 --> 00:17:47,656
I'm so impressed you got Joan on board.

440
00:17:47,681 --> 00:17:49,508
Yeah. How did you do that?
Did you get her drunk?

441
00:17:49,532 --> 00:17:51,532
Ooh, was it pills?

442
00:17:51,557 --> 00:17:53,657
No. I just worked my makeup magic

443
00:17:53,682 --> 00:17:54,950
and helped her feel comfortable.

444
00:17:54,974 --> 00:17:56,946
A little blending, a little contouring,

445
00:17:56,971 --> 00:17:58,360
a little defining.

446
00:17:58,385 --> 00:17:59,703
In fact, if I had more time,

447
00:17:59,728 --> 00:18:02,539
I could make both of your
eyes look the same size,

448
00:18:02,564 --> 00:18:04,993
and I could give you an upper lip.

449
00:18:05,191 --> 00:18:06,256
Excuse me.

450
00:18:06,551 --> 00:18:09,102
I think that your lips are perfect.

451
00:18:09,127 --> 00:18:10,812
- Thank you.
- Yeah.

452
00:18:10,837 --> 00:18:12,821
You... okay.

453
00:18:12,846 --> 00:18:14,042
Okay.

454
00:18:14,067 --> 00:18:15,699
There she is.

455
00:18:27,723 --> 00:18:29,990
Did I just scream? Because I wanted to.

456
00:18:30,015 --> 00:18:34,000
Wow, Mom. Look at all your features.

457
00:18:35,014 --> 00:18:37,715
Okay. It's like an eclipse,
don't look directly at it.

458
00:18:37,784 --> 00:18:39,250
I can't look at Joan's face,

459
00:18:39,319 --> 00:18:40,596
I can't look at Colleen's cleavage.

460
00:18:40,620 --> 00:18:43,120
- Where am I supposed to look?
- Okay.

461
00:18:43,189 --> 00:18:44,722
You look hot, Joanie.

462
00:18:44,791 --> 00:18:46,941
You look like when, uh, Bugs Bunny

463
00:18:46,966 --> 00:18:49,581
tried to get that hunter
to make love to him.

464
00:18:49,606 --> 00:18:52,930
It's so much. I feel like
the local news anchor.

465
00:18:52,999 --> 00:18:54,865
No, no. You're the weather girl.

466
00:18:54,934 --> 00:18:57,003
Do I want to be the weather girl?

467
00:18:57,028 --> 00:18:58,502
Okay, everyone. Let's do this.

468
00:18:58,571 --> 00:19:00,338
Mom-Mom, let me help you down.

469
00:19:00,406 --> 00:19:02,873
It looks like it might be
hard to see with those lashes.

470
00:19:02,942 --> 00:19:05,984
Well, honey, the weight
is the actual impediment.

471
00:19:06,009 --> 00:19:06,563
Mm.

472
00:19:06,625 --> 00:19:08,600
When I close my eyes,
I feel like I don't have

473
00:19:08,625 --> 00:19:10,147
the strength to open them.

474
00:19:10,216 --> 00:19:11,382
Okay.

475
00:19:11,451 --> 00:19:13,184
What did you do to my mother?

476
00:19:13,252 --> 00:19:15,519
Assuming that my mother
is underneath all of that.

477
00:19:15,588 --> 00:19:17,455
I know I might have
gone a little overboard,

478
00:19:17,523 --> 00:19:19,301
but she's here and she's
gonna be in the photo,

479
00:19:19,325 --> 00:19:20,711
which is more than any
of you have ever done,

480
00:19:20,735 --> 00:19:21,984
- so...
- Oh. Eh...

481
00:19:22,163 --> 00:19:23,327
Oh, dear.

482
00:19:23,396 --> 00:19:25,647
Ah, front and center.

483
00:19:25,672 --> 00:19:28,099
Right in the middle. All
the eyes are on me. Oh.

484
00:19:28,167 --> 00:19:31,635
Okay, Lark, so you're gonna stay
right in front of Mom-Mom, okay?

485
00:19:32,605 --> 00:19:34,672
That lady is scary.

486
00:19:35,742 --> 00:19:37,174
No way.

487
00:19:37,940 --> 00:19:39,877
I'll get her. I got it, I got it.

488
00:19:39,946 --> 00:19:42,824
Oh, I'm so sorry, I just
don't feel like myself.

489
00:19:42,849 --> 00:19:44,782
I-I can't do this.

490
00:19:48,013 --> 00:19:49,497
Guys, I can fix this.

491
00:19:49,622 --> 00:19:51,855
Yeah. I don't think
the answer's in there.

492
00:19:51,880 --> 00:19:54,458
But what do I know? I have no upper lip.

493
00:20:00,449 --> 00:20:02,483
I'm so sorry about the other day, Joan.

494
00:20:02,551 --> 00:20:04,178
Don't be silly, sweetie.

495
00:20:04,203 --> 00:20:07,748
I just feel so badly that
you didn't get a family photo.

496
00:20:07,790 --> 00:20:09,490
Oh, it's okay. We'll get it someday.

497
00:20:09,558 --> 00:20:10,792
Oh, you look nice.

498
00:20:10,817 --> 00:20:12,433
Here, why don't you hold the baby?

499
00:20:12,458 --> 00:20:14,464
Oh, thank you, honey.

500
00:20:14,489 --> 00:20:18,232
She especially loves it when
you look up and say cheese.

501
00:20:18,300 --> 00:20:20,400
Cheese.

502
00:20:20,469 --> 00:20:22,569
Oh, you sons of bitches.

503
00:20:25,312 --> 00:20:30,312
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