Yep. That's a predator.
So, what... like, a coyote?
Oh, no, no. That's a bigger animal than that.
How much bigger?
That's bear scat.
- Oh. - See the turds' end?
How they taper? Yep.
I say that that's unfailingly
the shit of a 500-pound female black bear.
Whoa.
Do you own a firearm?
Sync and corrections by btsix www.addic7ed.com
It's today!
- It's today! It's today! - It's today,
it's today, it's today.
Yay! Mwah.
I love you. Voilà.
Oh, my God.
This is stunning.
It's booze and health food.
I love our day, hey, I love our day, hey.
I love our day, hey...
I love this.
This is paradise here.
We need our lady time.
Bro.
- Happy New Year. - Har-loo!
It's all happening!
Ladies, Mama needs a drink!
Ooh, I want a smoke, too.
- Damn it. Hi, baby. - Har-loo!
Har-loo!
- Menopause. - I missed you, hon.
- Ooh, here, have some very cheap wine. - Please.
- Kick it up my notches! - My notches!
I love bread.
Is this thing on?
- You want a Primo? Okay. - Ah, yes, ma'am.
- Yes, miss. - Right, honey?
Har-loo!
- Oh, Tressa. - Sam.
It's okay.
Aw...
I was scared you wouldn't come today because of me.
I didn't want to miss the thing.
And I meant what I said.
- We're friends too long. - Mmm.
Besides, I like you better as a friend than a client.
Thank you?
Pace car.
Whoa.
Here.
- I've got you. - Thank you, honey.
- We're friends forever. - My God.
I don't like when that happens.
Baby, yes. Come to Mama.
She's in her element here.
Your Royal Heiny. Mm, mm, mm.
Wait a minute, is there any vodka in this at all?
You know I like more vodka than soda.
My mother has Murray. I'm never leaving.
I'm gonna let my mother raise Murray. I'm staying here.
Ida is so upset she couldn't be here.
She was gonna fly in a day early and everything,
but then she got tickets to Springsteen.
She did?
How much do you want to bet Ida got backstage passes?
- Yeah. - Magic.
Show me the magic.
"Is he, like, single? Is that... or is he in a relationship?"
She said, "No he's single and he's straight.
Wait, how old are your daughters?"
- And I was like, "Bitch!" - Bitch...
Hello? Over here?
Put your lips together and suck.
I like when my kids say, "What happened to your boobs?"
- You! That's right. - You, you little bastards.
You have the maternity section in your fucking closet.
- Yes. - Well, that, I'd go back to.
Can I move in your pool house?
It feels so good to get untense.
- Yeah. - Oh...
L'chaim, l'chaim.
- Thank you. - Lala Land!
- Lala. - Lala Land.
- It's freezing. - Well, get in here!
It's so good. Come on.
Do you use this thing a lot?
- Yes. Every day. - Oh.
You guys have your drugs and alcohol, I have my Jacuzzi.
I'll get in if you turn off the lights.
I think that's Mars.
Ooh, Tressa, you still got good boobs.
Thank you. Don't look, though.
Do you want to hug naked in the Jacuzzi?
- No, thank you. - Just whip them around
- a little a bit? - No!
Come on, Sam!
Those aren't really school shirts.
The communal nudity, I...
Well, can you just watch Yesenia for me, please?
- Bro, she's right here. - Can you pick her up?
It's just so dark out here and she's so tiny.
She's just a little potato chip tuna fish salad.
Please?
Thank you.
This is the last food...
I shop for groceries all the time.
The boys are both teenagers now, they need constant food.
It's insane. It's my job.
It's my actual job, groceries.
Stop asking my ETA.
You're supposed to be taking care of our kids.
- Leave me alone. - Put down your phone.
- I can't. - I got to put my clothes back on.
It's so cold. Aren't you freezing?
- I'm hot all the time. - You know, some people say
don't take anything,
and other people say you have to take something,
- otherwise, you'll get the bad thing. - Right, right,
- right, right, right. - If you don't take,
like, hormones or whatever.
- I'm gonna check it out. - Yes.
- 'cause I'm just sweating. - No.
Try the Progesterone.
It's plant-based, it works great.
Literally, it's the only reason I'm sane right now.
So all you women have had kids,
and that means you've had a hormone in you that protects you
as you get older. I haven't had any kids.
- What? - So I'm at a higher risk for...
Finally, a reason.
I got a... I-I've got a couple of hormones in me.
That's something.
No one else is on anything but me?
Well, I'm on something,
but not for that.
Can I just say, the hardest part about going
through all of this is that you realize, too, on top of it all,
you no longer exist as a woman.
You are like, literally invisible to people.
Oh, I love being invisible.
It's like I have a superpower. I can just run all my errands
and go about my day and nobody bothers me.
But how about that you don't realize how much juice
you used to get from it? That's what freaked me out.
- Yeah. - You know what I mean?
Like, that day I walked into Starbucks,
and the two cute young chicks were getting all the juice.
And then I realized, I liked that juice.
You've gone through a whole day and nobody's, like,
engaging with you, and it's not just guys.
- No. It's everybody. - It's girls, too. It's like...
I knew it. You guys, I think that the problem is,
is that nobody is talking to anybody.
There has to be some kind of outlet for women
and-and people.
Because we are all so busy.
We have to compare notes, right?
'Cause the pressure builds up,
and this... This lets the pus out.
- Gross. - No, it's true. It's true, though.
- It's true. - People aren't sharing.
Women don't talk to each other.
- Mm-mm. - Even Cadence Ford...
The-the asshole robot mom
at Duke's school... Like, needs her own
come to Jesus moment where she, like, reveals her inners
and doesn't feel judged or picked on.
Even her.
I hate her so much.
But even she needs to do that with her own...
type of people.
I'm sure there's some around.
I mean, women have to, we have to.
- We owe it to the future. - Well, we just,
- We owe it to now. - We got to do this more.
This is so, so important.
Yeah.
Lala? Why are all the lights off?
Can't see anything, Lala.
Hey, there you are, little girl. There you go.
Oh...
Hello.
- Oh, hey. Really. - Hello.
What were you talking about?
Were you talking about your men?
- Hey. - Guys, this is, um,
Tom's oldest and dearest friend Stan.
- Hi. - How was the game?
We left early. Stripling got lit up for seven
in the bottom of the fifth.
Hey, did you guys want some food?
Uh, we had Dodger Dogs.
- Was traffic bad? - Oh. It was awful.
I mean, you know, this is the reason I left L.A.
You know, the smog, the traffic, the earthquakes.
Northridge still wakes me up in the middle of the night.
I'm telling you, the rude people flip you off
and then drive away. No accountability.
Mary Jane.
Why are you clearing? Are we done?
Oh, you're not done? Oh, I'll...
I'll put out more plates. I thought we were done.
Uh, we don't need new plates. We pretty much just sat down.
No, hon. Here, I-I'll put out more plates.
No, it's okay. Forget it. We can be done.
Oh, I have dessert.
- Who wants dessert? - Oh, yes. Yes, me, please.
- Are we gonna watch the thing? - Yes, that's why we're here.
- Come on. - Hey.
What were you guys talking about tonight?
Sex?
Hmm?
- You look drunk. Ha-ha. - Yeah, you think so, Tom?
And you, Sammy.
Are you?
Just a little?
Ha-ha.
Night, girls.
- I'll have dessert. - Yes.
I thanked Tom for letting us be here
and that it means a lot
and it's really nice.
Why?
Uh, 'cause it's his house.
No, it's not. It's Lala's house, too.
He shouldn't even be here. He left the game early.
He could've gone someplace else.
That's disgusting.
What?
Yeah, we've been planning this for months.
Ida was gonna fly in.
Hey, Tom!
You want some ice cream and fruit?
Jesus Christ, don't offer him dessert.
What are you doing?
I know, right? I know.
It's, like, this thing I do, where I'm like, "Ah."
Yeah, you, like, become, like, some kind of weird geisha.
Are you serious?
I am serious.
Can't you just ask him to leave or something?
No, he doesn't have to go anywhere.
I'm sorry, but I love my husband.
So, if you have a problem with him staying here,
then you get the fuck out.
- Oh. Okay... - Uh-uh-uh. Hey, hey, hey.
Come on, guys.
Tress,
you want to help me set up Sam's movie?
Oh.
Are we still doing that?
I'm a little drunk.
Am I wrong?
It's okay.
Sorry. But I'm not.
Sorry.
Mm.
Hello!
It's just me.
- Hi. - Hi, Gran.
You look really nice.
Ah, thank you, Her Nibs.
You want some breakfast, Phil?
Um, I've eaten.
I'm going to an Irish wake today.
It's day two.
What's an Irish wake?
It's a wake where they put the body
out on a table and there's, like, candles
and everybody sings and dances
and loses their mind and gets shithouse drunk.
Well.
Mom!
Grandpa's in my room!
But it's really nice, because it goes on
- for, like, four days. - Mom, Mom, it's Grandpa.
It's kind of like shivah, and the body's never alone.
Grandpa's in my room! Mom!
He is certainly not.
He's in a chest at the foot of my bed.
What?
What do you mean?
All this nonsense. It's so much fuss.
I just had him cremated.
I'm not even sure
why I've kept his ashes.
More things underfoot.
Mom, I saw him.
He's here. He's here right now.
Okay, baby, calm down.
Mom!
Okay! Okay, okay, okay.
- Wait, let me turn down the burner. - Wait, I want to see.
Hang on!
Do any of you want to join me for the wake?
It's ever so much fun.
Well, I'm off.
There's nobody here except Mandy Patinkin.
I'm not lying!
- I know, honey. - No!
Grandpa was sitting right there,
in a brown suit, and he asked me
what was up with my friend Django's mom.
Dude, that's a big buttprint.
Duke couldn't have made that.
Huh.
I need my dog.
Mom, I told you. There is something in the house.
It's not a joke.
You never listen.
Thank you for
seeing me over your lunch.
Not a problem.
It sounded urgent. So...
Well, how are the pills working out?
You get any sleep?
Oh. Great.
They're terrific.
Also,
I maybe forgot to start taking them.
Okay.
Well, that seemed like an important reason
for coming here.
- Yeah. - Is this about...
Okay.
Fine.
Um...
Okay, I have this thing.
- Thing? - Yeah.
There's this thing in the house.
It's, like, um...
a presence,
I guess?
What-What do you mean, like a ghost?
Sure. Okay.
Yes.
And it's driving my kids insane,
which is not that hard to do.
I mean, they're actually terrified.
And I usually can keep a good handle on it.
But this otherworldly shit is a bit too much for me.
I mean, I'm a single lady.
Only one realm at a time, you know what I mean?
Okay, well, I'm not a-a children's specialist.
What I want is, can you just come over to my house...
and lie to them?
- You want me to lie to them? - My kids
can't be reasoned with on any kind of normal human level.
So, I don't know,
I just thought maybe you could...
come over and pretend to be a medium
and say that you sense that the spirits are angry
because they're mean to their mom or...
whatever.
Okay.
Okay, that is an insane idea,
and I don't know why you'd come to me about it.
Isn't that what you do...
Talk people down from the made-up shit in their heads?
Well, it's a little more complicated than that, Sam.
And, you know what, this whole game, it's kind of a, uh...
it's kind of a bullshit move on your part.
Oh.
Uh, what?
Why did you text me when you were out of town?
Why'd you text me when you were away?
I don't know.
Yes, you do.
Jesus, who cares?
- I just texted you... - I care.
I care, Sam, and you know it.
I'm not gonna lie to your kids the first time I meet them.
And if you were trying to sabotage this whole thing...
Whatever's happening between you and me...
Uh, then mission accomplished.
And, uh...
I really...
I actually do have a-a busy afternoon,
so, uh, if that's it...
Oh.
Yeah.
Okay.
I'll just... I'll leave, I guess.
I...
Um...
I'm gonna go.
I don't really know how to do this.
Well,
I don't either, but...
maybe I could help you out.
Obviously, I'm not gonna charge you for this session.
Mm.
Is that turkey?
- Mm-hmm. - Did you eat the whole pickle?
- Not yet. - Okay, good.
You know, kid...
whatever fathers say to their daughters
about their love lives...
...it's toxic.
All of it.
A bullshit bunch of fear
that's projected onto young women.
So you know what?
I'm not gonna say a thing to you
about what just happened in there.
- Okay. - That shrink, though...
he was kind of adorable.
Excuse me?
I mean, if I ever swung that way. You know.
Hey, back in the '70s...
things got a little blurry.
Whole years, actually.
Oh, come on, lighten up! Kid!
You should be laughing, okay?
That was funny. Jesus, so serious.
Hey, mister.
You know what those are?
Comics?
Mm-hmm. See that?
Murray Fox.
- That's Grandpa. - Mm-hmm.
He wrote it?
He wrote all of these.
All of those.
Hot Knives.
The Martian Who Loved Me.
- What's that? - This...
is his word ball.
Whenever Grandpa would get stuck,
he would take this, and he would spin this around
and look for words that would inspire him.
- Can I try? - Yes.
Read one... one to me.
What does...
"in-effa-ble" mean?
Like, uh...
something that...
you can't describe with words.
Isn't that cool?
Yeah.
Did your dad leave you when you were little, too?
Honey, my dad didn't leave me.
He had a heart attack.
Remember? We talked about it.
Okay.
Was he old?
No, not really.
How old was he?
He was almost 50.
Aren't you almost fif...
Shah.
Shi-shi-shah.
Do you miss him?
Not all the time.
Sometimes.
I miss him today.
Hang on.
Remind me that story about, uh, Marion.
Oh, the one a few weeks ago?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah. - All right. Well...
- Is that...? - Mm-hmm.
Who's the other voice?
- Who do you think? - Marion was
- teaching you to make an egg? - Uh-huh.
What? No. No.
What do you mean, no?
I was probably around your age there.
You sound weird.
- You sound weird! - No. Oh, okay.
- You sound weird! Take it back! - No! Stop! Stop!
Take it back.
- I take back nothing. - Take it back. Take it back.
I take back nothing.
- You gotta write it down. - I don't write it down.
You have to write it down.
With these things, I tell you,
- I know, I know. - Got to keep a journal.
Okay, I will, I will.
Whether God exists or not,
it doesn't make any difference.
The difference is, you've got to do life
believing in somebody or something.
You have to have faith in them.
If they let you down for any reason,
well, that's the way it is.
But I just take life as it comes.
Comes and goes...
That's definitely in!
I'm not gonna say it.
Fine. I'll say it.
Monkey?
Oh...
Mandy.
Shit.
Oh.
Whew!
Whew.
Mm.