1
00:00:00,542 --> 00:00:02,462
It lasted, like, over two weeks.
2
00:00:02,463 --> 00:00:06,594
Sometimes, our ovaries...
they just get lazy.
3
00:00:06,595 --> 00:00:10,464
Yeah, and I guess these are what
you would call hot flashes.
4
00:00:10,465 --> 00:00:13,259
I can't believe this is actually
finally happening to me.
5
00:00:13,260 --> 00:00:16,541
Also, plus, my ex-husband
6
00:00:16,542 --> 00:00:19,523
is repeatedly raping me every night.
7
00:00:20,627 --> 00:00:21,955
Excuse me?
8
00:00:21,956 --> 00:00:23,510
In my dreams.
9
00:00:23,511 --> 00:00:25,148
No, not dreams.
10
00:00:25,149 --> 00:00:27,150
They're nightmares, in my nightmares.
11
00:00:27,151 --> 00:00:31,316
U-Uh, I'm sorry, that,
uh... sounds awful.
12
00:00:31,317 --> 00:00:33,462
Do you think it's, like, hormones?
13
00:00:33,463 --> 00:00:34,857
You think this is it?
14
00:00:34,858 --> 00:00:36,789
I mean, this has got to
be it. This is it, right?
15
00:00:36,790 --> 00:00:38,655
Well, we'll take your blood today
16
00:00:38,656 --> 00:00:40,142
and again in six months.
17
00:00:40,143 --> 00:00:41,707
And if you don't get another period,
18
00:00:41,708 --> 00:00:43,732
then you will be in perimenopause.
19
00:00:43,733 --> 00:00:45,373
We'll also check your FSH levels.
20
00:00:45,374 --> 00:00:49,883
Below 20 is normal, above
30 is change of life.
21
00:00:49,884 --> 00:00:51,662
This is normal.
22
00:00:51,663 --> 00:00:53,389
You're degenerating.
23
00:00:53,390 --> 00:00:55,225
Oh. Thank you.
24
00:00:55,226 --> 00:00:57,424
You're coming into your gland finale.
25
00:00:57,425 --> 00:01:00,204
Like, the fireworks at the
end of the Fourth of July.
26
00:01:00,205 --> 00:01:02,695
Okay, yes. Yes!
27
00:01:02,696 --> 00:01:04,664
I can't wait to have a full beard.
28
00:01:04,665 --> 00:01:05,865
Or a soul patch.
29
00:01:05,866 --> 00:01:07,683
Okay, well.
30
00:01:07,684 --> 00:01:08,851
Uh, let's have a look.
31
00:01:08,852 --> 00:01:10,412
Please put your heels
up in the stirrups.
32
00:01:10,413 --> 00:01:12,672
Okay.
33
00:01:25,687 --> 00:01:26,836
Okay.
34
00:01:26,837 --> 00:01:28,921
Uh, could you please, uh,
scoot down a little bit.
35
00:01:28,922 --> 00:01:31,227
- Little bit further, please?
- Okay.
36
00:01:34,421 --> 00:01:37,409
I'm-I'm sorry to ask,
37
00:01:37,410 --> 00:01:39,597
but are you gonna put on gloves?
38
00:01:39,598 --> 00:01:41,584
Oh, yes, I am.
39
00:01:41,585 --> 00:01:42,818
Um, I always do.
40
00:01:42,819 --> 00:01:43,886
See? Right here.
41
00:01:43,887 --> 00:01:46,671
- Okay, good.
- Got it.
42
00:01:46,672 --> 00:01:49,725
Sorry. I didn't mean to
question your professionalism.
43
00:01:49,726 --> 00:01:52,050
Does it, does it bother you
that I asked you that?
44
00:01:52,051 --> 00:01:53,577
Nah, we're all good, Sam.
45
00:01:53,578 --> 00:01:55,201
Okay, good.
46
00:01:56,128 --> 00:01:59,518
Because, if you think
about it, Dr. Chen,
47
00:01:59,519 --> 00:02:01,621
there's just one thin layer of latex
48
00:02:01,622 --> 00:02:04,723
that is the difference
between you examining me
49
00:02:04,724 --> 00:02:06,642
and you fingering me.
50
00:02:06,643 --> 00:02:08,158
You know what I'm saying?
51
00:02:09,598 --> 00:02:11,962
Let's just try to relax.
52
00:02:11,963 --> 00:02:13,518
Yeah.
53
00:02:13,519 --> 00:02:15,285
Uh, wiggle your toes, please.
54
00:02:15,286 --> 00:02:16,518
Why?
55
00:02:16,519 --> 00:02:19,326
It, uh, it helps to
open you up down there.
56
00:02:27,376 --> 00:02:32,401
Sync and corrections by btsix
www.addic7ed.com
57
00:02:34,712 --> 00:02:36,861
First thing
on your disclaimer...
58
00:02:36,862 --> 00:02:39,389
Entrants use this
facility at their own risk.
59
00:02:39,390 --> 00:02:40,751
Unsafe driving conditions can lead
60
00:02:40,752 --> 00:02:42,770
to injuries and/or death.
61
00:02:42,771 --> 00:02:44,689
So please be aware
62
00:02:44,690 --> 00:02:46,051
- of the front two pedals...
- Hey, buddy.
63
00:02:46,052 --> 00:02:47,832
Sorry to interrupt, but I...
64
00:02:47,833 --> 00:02:49,894
Can you talk a little bit louder?
65
00:02:49,895 --> 00:02:52,600
- I can't hear you.
- Mom. Stop.
66
00:02:52,601 --> 00:02:54,916
He's telling us important safety things.
67
00:02:54,917 --> 00:02:57,769
We're about to operate
dangerous machinery.
68
00:02:57,770 --> 00:02:59,787
- We need to hear this.
- It's not important, Sam.
69
00:02:59,788 --> 00:03:01,606
It's safety B.S. and legal disclaimers
70
00:03:01,607 --> 00:03:03,050
that would never hold up in court.
71
00:03:03,051 --> 00:03:05,352
Mom? Mom.
72
00:03:05,353 --> 00:03:07,506
Can I have more quarters for air hockey?
73
00:03:07,507 --> 00:03:10,102
I gave you ten dollars.
You already spent it?
74
00:03:10,103 --> 00:03:12,513
Uh-huh, on the claw machine.
Can we have more?
75
00:03:12,514 --> 00:03:14,719
- And we want to play air hockey.
- Where's Pepper?
76
00:03:14,720 --> 00:03:16,461
She's over there playing
at the pool table.
77
00:03:20,708 --> 00:03:22,274
Okay.
78
00:03:23,563 --> 00:03:24,962
- Okay?
- Bye.
79
00:03:24,963 --> 00:03:26,897
I love you. T.Y. T.Y. T.Y.
80
00:03:26,898 --> 00:03:29,258
Okay, you're welcome. Y.W.
81
00:03:29,259 --> 00:03:30,901
Please, continue.
82
00:03:30,902 --> 00:03:32,920
So.
83
00:03:32,921 --> 00:03:35,589
Keep a three-yard
distance between each kart
84
00:03:35,590 --> 00:03:37,591
- on the way, so if you get be...
- Buddy.
85
00:03:37,592 --> 00:03:40,377
Bro, not to be an asshole,
86
00:03:40,378 --> 00:03:42,979
but I still can't hear you. Not at all.
87
00:03:44,067 --> 00:03:46,697
Listen, I know this probably
isn't your dream job,
88
00:03:46,698 --> 00:03:48,953
but what you do here is important.
89
00:03:48,954 --> 00:03:51,646
You provide a very important service,
90
00:03:51,647 --> 00:03:53,787
so we need to hear you.
91
00:03:53,788 --> 00:03:54,801
Okay, yeah, sure.
92
00:03:54,802 --> 00:03:56,504
Mom, do you want to ride
the go-karts, or not?
93
00:03:56,505 --> 00:03:58,144
No, I really don't.
94
00:03:58,145 --> 00:04:00,401
But I'm trying to give
you guys a fun childhood
95
00:04:00,402 --> 00:04:03,985
and at the same time, to
not die or get paralyzed.
96
00:04:03,986 --> 00:04:06,577
All right, Mom,
97
00:04:06,578 --> 00:04:07,922
stop being so dramatic.
98
00:04:07,923 --> 00:04:11,926
And you, sir, are the only
thing that sits between
99
00:04:11,927 --> 00:04:14,729
my family and a horrible tragedy.
100
00:04:14,730 --> 00:04:17,932
So please make your
instructions clearer.
101
00:04:17,933 --> 00:04:19,750
Sing out, Louise.
102
00:04:19,751 --> 00:04:21,381
- Um, Ollivier.
- Oh.
103
00:04:21,382 --> 00:04:23,247
- My name's Ollivier.
- Oh, he's Ollivier.
104
00:04:23,248 --> 00:04:24,655
- Oh.
- Ollivier.
105
00:04:24,656 --> 00:04:25,907
- Oh.
- So funny, man.
106
00:04:25,908 --> 00:04:28,659
- I'm Ollivier, as well.
- That's crazy, man.
107
00:04:28,660 --> 00:04:29,960
Nice to meet you, Ollivier.
108
00:04:29,961 --> 00:04:31,478
Right back at you, man.
109
00:04:31,479 --> 00:04:34,167
Give us your instructions,
Go-Kart Ollivier.
110
00:04:36,585 --> 00:04:38,986
Um, entrants use this
facility at their own risk.
111
00:04:38,987 --> 00:04:40,726
Any unsafe driving
conditions can lead to
112
00:04:40,727 --> 00:04:42,949
injuries and/or death.
113
00:04:42,950 --> 00:04:44,659
There we have our first two pedals.
114
00:04:44,660 --> 00:04:45,810
The green pedal is for acceleration,
115
00:04:45,811 --> 00:04:48,249
and the red pedal is for the brakes.
116
00:05:01,760 --> 00:05:04,264
You got the wrong one.
117
00:05:04,265 --> 00:05:08,084
Hey! Fun mom!
118
00:05:14,723 --> 00:05:16,348
Yes.
119
00:05:16,349 --> 00:05:19,605
I'm a wheelman from way back.
120
00:05:19,606 --> 00:05:20,895
Yes, I am.
121
00:05:23,615 --> 00:05:25,699
Fun, right?
122
00:05:25,700 --> 00:05:27,701
Hey, Mom, hot behind.
123
00:05:28,887 --> 00:05:29,954
I love you, Mom!
124
00:05:29,955 --> 00:05:31,623
Me, more!
125
00:05:41,833 --> 00:05:44,001
- Shotgun.
- Duke, don't.
126
00:05:44,002 --> 00:05:45,586
Don't try.
127
00:05:45,587 --> 00:05:46,687
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
128
00:05:46,688 --> 00:05:48,873
- Getting in the car.
- Hey, no. No. Hey.
129
00:05:48,874 --> 00:05:51,726
- Duke. Duke. No, get out.
- What? What?
130
00:05:51,727 --> 00:05:54,441
- Hey! Stop. Are you kidding me?
- Out. Out.
131
00:05:54,442 --> 00:05:56,139
Are you coming home for dinner?
132
00:05:56,140 --> 00:05:57,428
Uh, I don't know.
133
00:05:57,429 --> 00:05:59,301
Why? This is unfair.
134
00:05:59,302 --> 00:06:01,331
- Those are so sweet.
- No, it's not unfair.
135
00:06:01,332 --> 00:06:02,441
- Will you send me those?
- Mm-hmm.
136
00:06:02,442 --> 00:06:04,559
You've been
getting it all this time.
137
00:06:04,560 --> 00:06:08,125
Stop, stop! You got
all last week, you got it.
138
00:06:08,126 --> 00:06:10,269
- I will always get it, I'm older.
- Guys.
139
00:06:10,270 --> 00:06:12,188
Listen, technically, you're too small
140
00:06:12,189 --> 00:06:13,598
to legally sit in the front seat.
141
00:06:13,599 --> 00:06:15,475
- Shut up!
- Enough.
142
00:06:15,476 --> 00:06:17,813
- Mom could get arrested, you know.
- You're so rude!
143
00:06:17,814 --> 00:06:19,986
Hey! That's enough.
144
00:06:19,987 --> 00:06:22,115
Be quiet. Stop it.
145
00:06:23,352 --> 00:06:25,284
- Hey!
- Selfish!
146
00:06:25,285 --> 00:06:27,553
- I'm done.
- Super dramatic, Mom.
147
00:06:27,554 --> 00:06:29,288
So mean.
148
00:06:29,289 --> 00:06:30,325
Oh.
149
00:06:34,495 --> 00:06:36,373
Okay, I tell you what.
150
00:06:37,181 --> 00:06:39,114
You have one minute.
151
00:06:39,115 --> 00:06:41,746
You can say anything you
want to each other.
152
00:06:41,747 --> 00:06:43,789
Anything. You get it all out.
153
00:06:43,790 --> 00:06:46,417
Say the worst things
that pop into your head.
154
00:06:46,418 --> 00:06:47,456
Anything.
155
00:06:47,457 --> 00:06:49,275
And then it's over.
156
00:06:49,276 --> 00:06:50,660
Okay?
157
00:06:50,661 --> 00:06:53,296
- Anything?
- Anything.
158
00:06:53,297 --> 00:06:56,658
For real, Mom? Like, bad words?
159
00:06:56,659 --> 00:06:58,178
Really bad words?
160
00:06:58,179 --> 00:06:59,917
Yep, no limit.
161
00:06:59,918 --> 00:07:01,557
Cursing? We can curse?
162
00:07:01,558 --> 00:07:03,631
Yes, go for it.
163
00:07:03,632 --> 00:07:05,643
But then it's over. Okay?
164
00:07:05,644 --> 00:07:06,843
Let me see you fight.
165
00:07:06,844 --> 00:07:09,195
You can really get it all out.
166
00:07:09,196 --> 00:07:11,788
Just say all the bad
things to each other.
167
00:07:12,675 --> 00:07:14,183
One minute.
168
00:07:14,184 --> 00:07:15,369
And, go.
169
00:07:15,370 --> 00:07:17,512
- Bitch, fucking asshole.
- Little baby.
170
00:07:17,513 --> 00:07:19,403
- Mommy's little perfect angel.
- Selfish, fishpussy psycho.
171
00:07:19,404 --> 00:07:20,625
- Manipulative.
- Dick breath.
172
00:07:20,626 --> 00:07:22,451
- Get everything you want.
- Shit licker.
173
00:07:22,452 --> 00:07:24,155
- Manipulative, spoiled...
- Psycho.
174
00:07:24,156 --> 00:07:26,776
Cock, douche sack, fuckface!
175
00:07:32,124 --> 00:07:33,321
What just happened?
176
00:07:34,423 --> 00:07:36,257
- I'm dizzy.
- Jew.
177
00:07:37,609 --> 00:07:39,493
Your mouth!
178
00:07:39,494 --> 00:07:40,662
Oh, my God!
179
00:07:40,663 --> 00:07:42,497
- Duke!
- No!
180
00:07:42,498 --> 00:07:45,383
Did she just say that?
181
00:07:45,384 --> 00:07:48,369
I'll wash out your mouth with soap.
182
00:07:48,370 --> 00:07:49,704
That's it.
183
00:07:51,133 --> 00:07:54,509
No, Pepper, close your ears.
184
00:07:54,510 --> 00:07:57,311
That's the worst thing.
185
00:07:57,312 --> 00:08:00,398
Oh, my God. Wash your
mouth out with soap.
186
00:08:00,399 --> 00:08:03,485
Oh, my God, I'm done.
187
00:08:06,589 --> 00:08:09,391
I didn't know you knew those words!
188
00:08:21,164 --> 00:08:23,518
Happy birthday.
189
00:08:23,519 --> 00:08:26,876
- What can this be?
- It's called The Womanizer.
190
00:08:26,877 --> 00:08:30,609
It, um, well, it sucks on your clit.
191
00:08:30,610 --> 00:08:33,562
- Oy.
- Sam, Sam.
192
00:08:33,563 --> 00:08:36,398
- It's for your clit.
- I don't like it.
193
00:08:36,399 --> 00:08:40,402
They did a study. Half of all
women orgasm within 60 seconds.
194
00:08:40,403 --> 00:08:42,454
- What? 60 seconds?
- 60 seconds.
195
00:08:42,455 --> 00:08:44,723
Excuse me.
196
00:08:44,724 --> 00:08:46,425
I'm sorry it doesn't come attached
197
00:08:46,426 --> 00:08:48,643
to an actual living,
breathing man, but...
198
00:08:48,644 --> 00:08:51,007
they seem to be all off with
25-year-olds these days.
199
00:08:51,008 --> 00:08:53,833
Oh, yeah. That's because
we've aged out of our men,
200
00:08:53,834 --> 00:08:56,435
like kids age out of the
foster care system.
201
00:08:56,436 --> 00:08:58,386
Facts on facts on facts on facts.
202
00:08:58,387 --> 00:09:00,355
That's it.
203
00:09:00,356 --> 00:09:03,542
- Thank you.
- Double fist.
204
00:09:05,578 --> 00:09:07,546
Ooh. Ooh. What?
205
00:09:07,547 --> 00:09:10,290
I don't, I don't see a
ring. I don't have a ring.
206
00:09:10,291 --> 00:09:12,301
- Who doesn't, even?
- My husband is just boring.
207
00:09:12,302 --> 00:09:14,486
He wasn't always boring. He's boring.
208
00:09:14,487 --> 00:09:16,388
And he talks and all I hear is...
209
00:09:18,491 --> 00:09:19,574
White noise.
210
00:09:19,575 --> 00:09:22,194
You're so lucky you got out, Sam.
211
00:09:22,195 --> 00:09:26,281
I am next, goddamm it. I'm next!
212
00:09:26,282 --> 00:09:29,217
Hello, ladies. Uh, so,
tonight's special...
213
00:09:29,218 --> 00:09:32,254
Oh, honey, hi, listen, no
offense, but could we have him?
214
00:09:32,255 --> 00:09:34,656
'Cause we never get to look
at anything nice like that.
215
00:09:34,657 --> 00:09:37,242
Come on, you get to
fuck him, we just want
216
00:09:37,243 --> 00:09:40,362
- to play with him a little.
- Seems fair.
217
00:09:40,363 --> 00:09:42,414
Buonasera, grazie.
218
00:09:42,415 --> 00:09:45,217
Don't give me that look. Did
you see that look she...
219
00:09:45,218 --> 00:09:46,663
I'll kill you, I'll kill you.
220
00:09:47,925 --> 00:09:50,173
Tonight I'm gonna do rails,
I'm gonna fuck that waiter,
221
00:09:50,174 --> 00:09:51,656
and I'm gonna leave my husband.
222
00:09:51,657 --> 00:09:54,526
It's all happening
tonight, all happening.
223
00:09:54,527 --> 00:09:56,445
Thank you.
224
00:09:56,446 --> 00:09:58,313
Buonasera, signorine.
225
00:09:58,314 --> 00:09:59,414
Buonasera.
226
00:09:59,415 --> 00:10:00,532
Buonasera.
227
00:10:00,533 --> 00:10:02,451
Da che parte dell'Italia vien?
228
00:10:02,452 --> 00:10:04,352
- Naples.
- Oh.
229
00:10:04,353 --> 00:10:06,354
Come hai imparato a parlare
cosi bene italiana?
230
00:10:06,355 --> 00:10:09,150
Well, I spent
summers in Avellino.
231
00:10:09,151 --> 00:10:12,427
Hai visitato il Santuario
di Montevergine?
232
00:10:12,428 --> 00:10:13,738
Of course.
233
00:10:13,739 --> 00:10:15,413
I spent my 40th birthday in Avellino.
234
00:10:15,414 --> 00:10:16,594
You are not 40.
235
00:10:16,595 --> 00:10:19,584
- Um, yeah, I am 40.
- Not possible.
236
00:10:19,585 --> 00:10:21,370
Shut up.
237
00:10:21,371 --> 00:10:23,180
Yes, look.
238
00:10:23,181 --> 00:10:26,513
I got this necklace
239
00:10:26,514 --> 00:10:28,460
on my 40th birthday.
240
00:10:28,461 --> 00:10:32,197
It's made from a
230-year-old Italian coin.
241
00:10:32,198 --> 00:10:34,649
So pretty. Marcello, you
have them all to yourself.
242
00:10:34,650 --> 00:10:36,468
This isn't fair.
243
00:10:36,469 --> 00:10:39,455
You have to share.
244
00:10:39,456 --> 00:10:40,739
I'll share.
245
00:10:40,740 --> 00:10:42,675
Oh, my God.
246
00:10:42,676 --> 00:10:45,644
When they do that, it makes me
feel like we're in wheelchairs
247
00:10:45,645 --> 00:10:47,690
lined up outside the nursing home.
248
00:10:47,691 --> 00:10:49,381
Just put a thin blanket over my legs
249
00:10:49,382 --> 00:10:52,057
- and point me towards the sun.
- Ugh.
250
00:10:52,058 --> 00:10:55,027
- When did we start being that?
- About ten years ago.
251
00:10:55,028 --> 00:10:57,952
Yeah, and about 20 years ago,
I would've believed them.
252
00:10:57,953 --> 00:11:00,576
And then they would've tried
to take us to a club after
253
00:11:00,577 --> 00:11:03,195
and most of us would've gotten laid.
254
00:11:03,196 --> 00:11:05,247
Oh, me the most. Me the most laid.
255
00:11:07,899 --> 00:11:09,218
We're irrelevant.
256
00:11:09,219 --> 00:11:10,586
- We're obsolete.
- We're disgusting.
257
00:11:10,587 --> 00:11:12,064
Absolutely disgusting.
258
00:11:12,065 --> 00:11:14,910
I have a belly and a
beard and my period.
259
00:11:14,911 --> 00:11:17,075
My stomach's trying to fuck my pussy.
260
00:11:20,941 --> 00:11:23,838
You realize this is as good as
we're ever gonna look, right?
261
00:11:23,839 --> 00:11:25,758
It's just gonna go downhill from here.
262
00:11:25,759 --> 00:11:27,303
I know. 100%.
263
00:11:27,304 --> 00:11:29,555
Can't wait, though.
264
00:11:29,556 --> 00:11:31,456
Yeah.
265
00:11:35,713 --> 00:11:39,314
This is... a goal of life.
266
00:11:39,315 --> 00:11:41,400
This was part of my flow chart.
267
00:11:48,391 --> 00:11:51,310
Do you and
Danny still do it every day?
268
00:11:53,941 --> 00:11:56,906
Well, in a word... yes.
269
00:11:57,927 --> 00:11:59,250
Sometimes more than once.
270
00:11:59,251 --> 00:12:02,780
But do you guys pretend to-to,
like, be other people,
271
00:12:02,781 --> 00:12:04,423
other people came over
to the house, like,
272
00:12:04,424 --> 00:12:07,086
"Oh, hello.
Nice to meet you."
273
00:12:09,245 --> 00:12:12,494
They were $379, it's real gold.
274
00:12:12,495 --> 00:12:13,953
I love you.
275
00:12:13,954 --> 00:12:17,304
All right, who wants to go
to the bathroom? Anybody?
276
00:12:17,305 --> 00:12:18,916
Exactly.
277
00:12:18,917 --> 00:12:20,450
Don't you want
to go to the bathroom?
278
00:12:20,451 --> 00:12:22,329
- No, I'm with Lala.
- You don't want to go...
279
00:12:22,330 --> 00:12:24,476
No, I don't want to.
280
00:12:26,613 --> 00:12:28,213
- Whoa!
- Hi.
281
00:12:28,214 --> 00:12:30,565
I'm so sorry I'm late. I can't
believe I even made it.
282
00:12:30,566 --> 00:12:33,685
It's good to see you. I'm
glad you made it, too.
283
00:12:33,686 --> 00:12:36,254
- I can't believe we're here.
- How's Randy?
284
00:12:36,255 --> 00:12:40,023
Oh, he's okay, but his dad is dying.
285
00:12:40,024 --> 00:12:41,609
- Oh...
- Yes.
286
00:12:41,610 --> 00:12:43,478
Shitshow as usual.
287
00:12:43,479 --> 00:12:46,666
I'm taking care of the
boys alone and his mama.
288
00:12:46,667 --> 00:12:48,886
Meanwhile, I'm supposed
to get back to Thailand
289
00:12:48,887 --> 00:12:50,469
to finish the film.
290
00:12:51,162 --> 00:12:52,654
Where in the hell is everybody else?
291
00:12:52,655 --> 00:12:54,087
- Bathroom.
- Yeah.
292
00:12:54,088 --> 00:12:56,139
- Already?
- Mm-hmm.
293
00:12:56,140 --> 00:12:59,244
Oh, yes. Mama blow.
294
00:12:59,245 --> 00:13:03,327
At last. Ladies, I gots to go.
295
00:13:08,187 --> 00:13:09,221
I see you.
296
00:13:10,491 --> 00:13:13,408
What's that for, huh?
297
00:13:28,559 --> 00:13:32,089
- How's Tom?
- He's good.
298
00:13:33,118 --> 00:13:35,580
- And the twins?
- I like one of them.
299
00:13:35,581 --> 00:13:40,352
Hmm. I like one of mine,
too. I'm not naming names.
300
00:13:40,353 --> 00:13:43,321
Why did we put ourselves
through all this?
301
00:13:43,322 --> 00:13:46,408
It's insane. Nobody told me
it was gonna be this hard.
302
00:13:46,409 --> 00:13:49,612
I suffered through four
years of IVF for this shit.
303
00:13:50,502 --> 00:13:52,091
I could've spent the money on a house.
304
00:13:52,092 --> 00:13:53,265
A big house.
305
00:13:53,266 --> 00:13:56,853
Yeah. But it's just so rewarding...
306
00:13:56,854 --> 00:14:01,590
Yeah, right. Not when
Tionna's screaming "no" at me
307
00:14:01,591 --> 00:14:04,442
and telling me, "You're the
meanest mom in the whole world,"
308
00:14:04,443 --> 00:14:06,016
and nobody loves her.
309
00:14:06,017 --> 00:14:07,345
Mm.
310
00:14:07,346 --> 00:14:10,582
And Tom's passed out in the living room,
311
00:14:10,583 --> 00:14:12,684
and Essex just wants his attention,
312
00:14:12,685 --> 00:14:15,187
and I work the longest hours.
313
00:14:17,818 --> 00:14:20,341
- You said mama blow?
- Oh, listen, I know what I'm doing.
314
00:14:20,342 --> 00:14:23,512
- Oh, I need a chair.
- Oh.
315
00:14:23,513 --> 00:14:25,280
We need a chair.
316
00:14:37,543 --> 00:14:40,345
I haven't had any surgery at all.
317
00:14:40,346 --> 00:14:41,546
What? What are you looking at?
318
00:14:41,547 --> 00:14:43,682
Just a little, little injection.
319
00:14:49,423 --> 00:14:51,589
- Oh!
- That's a Sicilian curse.
320
00:14:51,590 --> 00:14:53,828
She put the mark on you.
321
00:14:53,829 --> 00:14:57,699
She got the eye, the evil
eye! Call it the fury.
322
00:15:18,485 --> 00:15:20,419
Sam,
Sam, Sam, Sam, Sam...
323
00:15:28,279 --> 00:15:29,578
Mm-mm.
324
00:15:44,981 --> 00:15:46,747
Come on. You got to plank.
325
00:15:48,302 --> 00:15:50,905
- Like RBG.
- Oof.
326
00:15:50,907 --> 00:15:54,208
I don't know if I can
do this today, Ida.
327
00:15:54,210 --> 00:15:58,080
What? It's the best thing
for your hangover.
328
00:15:58,082 --> 00:16:00,365
You'll feel better, honey, I promise.
329
00:16:00,366 --> 00:16:02,285
Oh.
330
00:16:02,286 --> 00:16:05,138
Oh, my.
331
00:16:05,139 --> 00:16:07,407
The undercarriage smells.
332
00:16:07,408 --> 00:16:08,608
What?
333
00:16:08,609 --> 00:16:11,545
Ramen. The ramen noodle.
334
00:16:11,546 --> 00:16:14,730
- Ew... oh, my God.
- I'm serious.
335
00:16:14,731 --> 00:16:17,333
Oof. Is that me?
336
00:16:17,334 --> 00:16:18,872
Or is that you?
337
00:16:18,873 --> 00:16:22,188
Honey, I'm chicken broth,
338
00:16:22,189 --> 00:16:24,241
but it smells like you've
got a whole can of tuna
339
00:16:24,242 --> 00:16:25,525
shoved up there.
340
00:16:25,526 --> 00:16:28,245
It's pretty strong, bro.
341
00:16:29,467 --> 00:16:31,465
This is embarrassing.
342
00:16:31,466 --> 00:16:33,499
Well, it's not a hygiene thing.
343
00:16:33,500 --> 00:16:37,049
It's the fish oil I'm
taking, for fertility.
344
00:16:37,050 --> 00:16:39,235
Fish oil for fertility?
345
00:16:39,236 --> 00:16:41,947
Last night you were making
plans to leave your husband.
346
00:16:42,801 --> 00:16:45,891
That was... Look, I had too much wine.
347
00:16:45,892 --> 00:16:47,710
Your hand was up the waiter's shirt.
348
00:16:50,660 --> 00:16:52,436
It most certainly was not.
349
00:16:54,801 --> 00:16:56,361
I'm sorry.
350
00:16:57,068 --> 00:16:58,408
Your smell.
351
00:16:59,578 --> 00:17:01,237
I'm gonna be sick.
352
00:17:08,717 --> 00:17:10,553
Jesus, Mom.
353
00:17:10,554 --> 00:17:12,562
Are you pregnant? Is that,
is that even possible?
354
00:17:12,563 --> 00:17:14,581
Get out. Get out.
355
00:17:14,582 --> 00:17:16,777
Did you drink too much last night?
356
00:17:16,778 --> 00:17:19,436
I had two glasses of wine.
357
00:17:19,437 --> 00:17:21,723
Bullshit, you always have
more than two glasses.
358
00:17:21,724 --> 00:17:24,990
That's just something moms say,
"I only had two glasses,"
359
00:17:24,991 --> 00:17:26,527
when they really had more like four,
360
00:17:26,528 --> 00:17:28,663
but they don't want their kids
to think they're driving drunk.
361
00:17:28,664 --> 00:17:31,365
- Get out of the room right now.
- I mean, you hit your head
362
00:17:31,366 --> 00:17:32,600
pretty hard the other day.
363
00:17:32,601 --> 00:17:34,568
I mean, the-the-the contact,
364
00:17:34,569 --> 00:17:37,388
the way your head snapped forward.
365
00:17:37,389 --> 00:17:39,227
I'm pretty sure you have whiplash.
366
00:17:39,228 --> 00:17:40,660
Or maybe you're pregnant.
367
00:17:40,661 --> 00:17:42,726
Am I gonna have a baby brother, Sam?
368
00:17:42,727 --> 00:17:45,633
Anyway,
369
00:17:45,634 --> 00:17:48,566
you're sick from the whiplash.
I looked it up on WebMD.
370
00:17:48,567 --> 00:17:51,736
Symptoms include nausea,
headaches and dizziness.
371
00:17:53,657 --> 00:17:56,407
What do you say when you
get good medical advice?
372
00:17:58,944 --> 00:18:00,171
You're welcome.
373
00:18:09,959 --> 00:18:11,288
Sam?
374
00:18:11,289 --> 00:18:15,292
Sam... girls? I'm so
stupid, I've lost my key.
375
00:18:15,293 --> 00:18:18,362
Sam? Hello? Someone?
376
00:18:18,363 --> 00:18:20,298
I've lo... oh, it doesn't matter.
377
00:18:26,439 --> 00:18:28,456
Okay.
378
00:18:32,362 --> 00:18:36,368
Did you have a very salty
fucking meal last night?
379
00:18:36,369 --> 00:18:37,765
Excuse me?
380
00:18:37,766 --> 00:18:40,442
A salty fucking meal.
381
00:18:40,443 --> 00:18:41,819
Did you have one last night?
382
00:18:41,820 --> 00:18:43,764
Um, no. Why?
383
00:18:43,765 --> 00:18:47,164
Well, your blood pressure is
through the roof. 168/110.
384
00:18:47,165 --> 00:18:48,169
Oh.
385
00:18:48,170 --> 00:18:50,361
I don't want to put you
on BP meds just yet,
386
00:18:50,362 --> 00:18:51,883
so, you know, we'll
just keep an eye on it.
387
00:18:51,884 --> 00:18:53,498
- Okay.
- Your intake form here
388
00:18:53,499 --> 00:18:56,513
says that you hurt yourself go-karting?
389
00:18:56,514 --> 00:18:58,335
What the fuck were you doing that for?
390
00:18:58,336 --> 00:18:59,889
I took my kids.
391
00:19:00,807 --> 00:19:02,356
Come on.
392
00:19:02,357 --> 00:19:03,658
Move your hair.
393
00:19:05,479 --> 00:19:07,978
- Does that hurt?
- Nah, it's just tender.
394
00:19:07,979 --> 00:19:11,557
Relax. Relax.
395
00:19:12,385 --> 00:19:14,602
- Relax, come on.
- Okay.
396
00:19:14,603 --> 00:19:17,554
Okay. I think you have a muscle strain.
397
00:19:17,555 --> 00:19:20,307
The soreness will go away in
a few days, but, you know,
398
00:19:20,308 --> 00:19:23,327
go and see a fucking chiropractor
if it keeps bothering you.
399
00:19:23,328 --> 00:19:26,105
Now, what about this, uh, insomnia
400
00:19:26,106 --> 00:19:27,431
that you wrote down over here?
401
00:19:27,432 --> 00:19:30,768
I can't sleep. And when I
finally do get to sleep,
402
00:19:30,769 --> 00:19:32,586
I have nightmares that my ex-husband
403
00:19:32,587 --> 00:19:34,555
is repeatedly raping me.
404
00:19:34,556 --> 00:19:35,750
What the fuck?
405
00:19:36,525 --> 00:19:38,526
Have you been under a
lot of stress lately?
406
00:19:38,527 --> 00:19:40,427
I guess so. I don't know.
407
00:19:40,428 --> 00:19:43,247
Okay. Well, you need to
let some of that shit go.
408
00:19:43,248 --> 00:19:45,333
Otherwise, it's gonna
fucking kill you. Okay?
409
00:19:45,334 --> 00:19:46,980
All of it. Just let it go.
410
00:19:46,981 --> 00:19:49,637
You know, your hang-ups, your
fucking beefs, your past,
411
00:19:49,638 --> 00:19:52,390
your future, all of those
fucking worries, all right?
412
00:19:52,391 --> 00:19:53,724
All of it. Listen to me.
413
00:19:53,725 --> 00:19:57,361
Listen. Let it go.
414
00:19:57,362 --> 00:19:59,730
This advice is gonna put
years back on your life.
415
00:19:59,731 --> 00:20:02,800
Okay, Dr. Babu, but I think
it's a little more complicated
416
00:20:02,801 --> 00:20:05,369
- than just letting it go.
- No, it fucking isn't.
417
00:20:05,370 --> 00:20:07,438
Look, if you come to me
complaining of a burning hand
418
00:20:07,439 --> 00:20:08,689
and you're holding a hot fucking iron,
419
00:20:08,690 --> 00:20:10,424
well, guess what I'm gonna say?
420
00:20:10,425 --> 00:20:12,510
"Let it fucking go"?
421
00:20:12,511 --> 00:20:14,378
Now you understand.
422
00:20:14,379 --> 00:20:16,430
Well, there's a lot of it to let go of.
423
00:20:16,431 --> 00:20:18,516
So what? Let it go.
424
00:20:18,517 --> 00:20:20,518
First off, I took my daughter to college
425
00:20:20,519 --> 00:20:23,320
and she dropped out and
moved back into the house.
426
00:20:23,321 --> 00:20:25,606
- Fuck her.
- And then there's, uh,
427
00:20:25,607 --> 00:20:29,150
a mountain of mom shit that I
have to get through every day.
428
00:20:29,151 --> 00:20:30,595
What, errands? Who doesn't, huh?
429
00:20:30,596 --> 00:20:32,496
- Let it go.
- No.
430
00:20:32,497 --> 00:20:35,566
No, errands are, like, groceries
and going to the post office.
431
00:20:35,567 --> 00:20:37,668
- Mm-hmm. Yeah.
- The real mom stuff.
432
00:20:37,669 --> 00:20:40,755
Soccer club sign-ups and dance classes
433
00:20:40,756 --> 00:20:44,575
and tutors and tuition payments
and parent-teacher conferences
434
00:20:44,576 --> 00:20:47,645
and schools and camps that
I have to get them into,
435
00:20:47,646 --> 00:20:50,765
and, and mean girl issues
with my youngest at school
436
00:20:50,766 --> 00:20:53,734
and birth control with my oldest and...
437
00:20:53,735 --> 00:20:56,670
cruelty from my middle daughter!
438
00:20:56,671 --> 00:20:58,739
And then there's my own mom,
439
00:20:58,740 --> 00:21:02,343
who is driving me nuts,
and I'm pretty sure
440
00:21:02,344 --> 00:21:04,424
she has a mental something disorder
441
00:21:04,425 --> 00:21:07,773
and my middle daughter
is hitting puberty hard.
442
00:21:07,774 --> 00:21:11,080
- Mm-hmm.
- And I...
443
00:21:11,081 --> 00:21:13,471
am definitely going through menopause,
444
00:21:13,472 --> 00:21:17,358
yet I still get my period and I
have a beard and two mortgages,
445
00:21:17,359 --> 00:21:20,327
so, yeah,
Dr. Babu, it's like,
446
00:21:20,328 --> 00:21:23,631
it's a lot, and some mornings, I just...
447
00:21:23,632 --> 00:21:26,166
- Oh, my God.
- ...you know, lay in bed,
448
00:21:26,167 --> 00:21:28,433
in my room, and I stare at the ceiling
449
00:21:28,434 --> 00:21:33,233
and I just say I just can't
do it anymore. I just can't.
450
00:21:33,234 --> 00:21:36,978
I just can't, I just
can't, I can't, I can't.
451
00:21:40,103 --> 00:21:44,169
So, anyway, could you please
just give me some Xanax
452
00:21:44,170 --> 00:21:47,327
or Ativans or Ambiens or something?
453
00:21:48,013 --> 00:21:50,491
Anything you think that'll help
me get a full night's sleep,
454
00:21:50,492 --> 00:21:54,693
because that's what I
really need, Birju.
455
00:21:54,694 --> 00:21:56,397
I need a full night of sleep.
456
00:21:59,518 --> 00:22:02,370
You're fucked up. All right?
457
00:22:02,371 --> 00:22:04,521
You need to start taking
care of your brain.
458
00:22:04,522 --> 00:22:06,390
You know, shit like
this is caused by gunic
459
00:22:06,391 --> 00:22:09,301
and doshic imbalances, which
lead to a clouding of, uh,
460
00:22:09,302 --> 00:22:12,296
perception and a loss of
understanding. All right?
461
00:22:12,297 --> 00:22:14,298
Okay.
462
00:22:17,359 --> 00:22:19,918
I want you to see that guy.
He's a psychotherapist.
463
00:22:19,919 --> 00:22:21,877
Hey. Look, listen.
464
00:22:21,878 --> 00:22:24,559
At least four sessions with him, okay?
465
00:22:24,560 --> 00:22:28,563
And then I'll write you a
script for sleeping meds.
466
00:22:28,564 --> 00:22:31,665
- Deal?
- Fine.
467
00:22:31,666 --> 00:22:35,142
Oh, and also, do you
want to get an HPV shot?
468
00:22:35,143 --> 00:22:36,704
There are hundreds of strains of HPV.
469
00:22:36,705 --> 00:22:38,622
We have a vaccine against nine of them.
470
00:22:38,623 --> 00:22:40,670
I'm sure you have all nine.
471
00:22:41,804 --> 00:22:43,030
Uh...
472
00:22:43,031 --> 00:22:44,812
- Yeah.
- Okay.
473
00:22:44,813 --> 00:22:46,597
Good. Great.
474
00:22:46,598 --> 00:22:49,566
Feel better, and try to
have a good fucking day.
475
00:22:49,567 --> 00:22:51,485
- Okay.
- All right, I'll talk to you later.
476
00:22:51,486 --> 00:22:52,737
You fucking, too.
477
00:22:52,738 --> 00:22:53,898
Yeah.
478
00:22:53,899 --> 00:22:59,794
Sync and corrections by btsix
www.addic7ed.com