1 00:00:11,559 --> 00:00:12,959 God damn it! 2 00:00:16,824 --> 00:00:22,488 3 00:00:40,233 --> 00:00:42,767 So do me a favor and wake him up a bit. 4 00:00:42,802 --> 00:00:44,002 Huh? 5 00:00:44,037 --> 00:00:45,737 Just, it's on him now, 6 00:00:45,772 --> 00:00:47,204 so I need you to surprise him 7 00:00:47,240 --> 00:00:49,541 because he's, he's too controlled now. 8 00:00:49,576 --> 00:00:51,108 - Okay. - Do you mind? 9 00:00:51,144 --> 00:00:53,444 No. Totally, I, I think I got it. 10 00:00:53,479 --> 00:00:54,678 - All right, good. - Okay. 11 00:00:54,713 --> 00:00:56,147 Okay, last looks, please. 12 00:00:56,182 --> 00:00:59,517 So... it's the big turning point now, right? 13 00:00:59,552 --> 00:01:00,717 - Yeah, yeah. - Right? 14 00:01:00,753 --> 00:01:02,986 This is on you, this is real close. 15 00:01:03,022 --> 00:01:04,622 We want to see this thing hit you, right? 16 00:01:04,657 --> 00:01:05,756 Yeah, I got it. 17 00:01:05,791 --> 00:01:08,059 And, and... the feeling. 18 00:01:08,094 --> 00:01:09,126 - Right. - Mm-hmm. 19 00:01:09,162 --> 00:01:11,995 - Hey, uh... - Thanks, Kunta. 20 00:01:12,031 --> 00:01:15,231 Are you, uh, above this? Because I want to... 21 00:01:15,267 --> 00:01:16,733 You're tight. You're tight. 22 00:01:16,769 --> 00:01:17,737 All right, all right. 23 00:01:17,846 --> 00:01:20,256 - All right, finishing up. - Here we go. 24 00:01:21,540 --> 00:01:24,207 All right, and let's roll sound, please. 25 00:01:24,242 --> 00:01:25,442 Rolling, rolling. 26 00:01:25,477 --> 00:01:26,709 Quiet, please. 27 00:01:26,744 --> 00:01:28,578 Sound speed. Marker. 28 00:01:28,613 --> 00:01:30,346 Uh... Cameras are set. 29 00:01:30,382 --> 00:01:31,914 Action. 30 00:01:33,017 --> 00:01:34,717 So I'm really sorry. 31 00:01:34,752 --> 00:01:36,119 There's nothing I can do. 32 00:01:36,154 --> 00:01:38,654 You lost custody of Maggie. 33 00:01:38,690 --> 00:01:40,190 Oh, my God, Maggie. 34 00:01:40,225 --> 00:01:42,258 Yeah. 35 00:01:42,294 --> 00:01:43,759 You're never gonna see her again, 36 00:01:43,795 --> 00:01:45,360 and it's all your fault. 37 00:01:49,366 --> 00:01:50,332 What? 38 00:01:50,367 --> 00:01:51,601 Cut! 39 00:01:51,636 --> 00:01:53,168 Why did you say that? That's... 40 00:01:53,204 --> 00:01:54,648 - Sorry. - That's, that's not in the script. 41 00:01:54,672 --> 00:01:56,016 - Sorry. - That's not in the script. 42 00:01:56,040 --> 00:01:57,272 That felt... That felt weird. 43 00:01:57,308 --> 00:01:58,908 Big man, that was... That was amazing. 44 00:01:58,943 --> 00:02:00,709 - Yeah? - It's a great, great day. 45 00:02:01,812 --> 00:02:02,911 It's a great, great day. 46 00:02:02,946 --> 00:02:04,679 You're doing... Yeah. Oh, yeah. 47 00:02:04,715 --> 00:02:06,681 - Oh, okay. - Right. 48 00:02:07,985 --> 00:02:09,618 Thank you. 49 00:02:12,823 --> 00:02:13,888 Hey. 50 00:02:13,924 --> 00:02:15,056 Hey. 51 00:02:15,092 --> 00:02:16,290 How are you holding up? 52 00:02:16,326 --> 00:02:19,227 I'm all right. You know, it's, uh, 53 00:02:19,262 --> 00:02:21,496 - this is work, but, uh, - Yeah. 54 00:02:21,531 --> 00:02:23,464 I'm blessed to be working. 55 00:02:23,500 --> 00:02:24,666 That is right. 56 00:02:24,701 --> 00:02:26,134 I just want to say 57 00:02:26,653 --> 00:02:27,885 I'm a fan from way back. 58 00:02:27,921 --> 00:02:30,155 - I mean, you are great. - Oh, no, no. 59 00:02:30,190 --> 00:02:31,323 You are so... 60 00:02:31,358 --> 00:02:33,290 You don't have to say that, Mel, but I do. 61 00:02:33,326 --> 00:02:34,826 I love your movies. 62 00:02:34,861 --> 00:02:38,329 Well, I used to, too, when they were my movies. 63 00:02:38,364 --> 00:02:39,831 I know, but you're great, 64 00:02:39,866 --> 00:02:42,399 and it's an honor to be working with you, really. 65 00:02:42,435 --> 00:02:43,935 Oh, thanks, Sammy. 66 00:02:43,970 --> 00:02:46,270 Well, then it's only fair to tell you 67 00:02:46,305 --> 00:02:49,306 that my brother and I used to say 68 00:02:49,342 --> 00:02:52,184 "Oh, stop it" all the time. 69 00:02:52,296 --> 00:02:53,688 Oh, my God, that's a nightmare. 70 00:02:53,712 --> 00:02:54,945 No, no. Seriously, 71 00:02:54,980 --> 00:02:55,780 that show killed us. 72 00:02:55,814 --> 00:02:57,348 And when you did the sad episodes, 73 00:02:57,383 --> 00:02:59,150 we'd both pretend not to be crying. 74 00:02:59,185 --> 00:03:00,384 Aw. 75 00:03:00,419 --> 00:03:01,985 Yeah, the sad shows were the best. 76 00:03:02,021 --> 00:03:04,555 I don't need you. I don't need anybody. 77 00:03:05,991 --> 00:03:07,824 Well, 78 00:03:07,860 --> 00:03:09,926 not to jerk each other off too much, 79 00:03:09,962 --> 00:03:13,630 but Move Down is my Bible. 80 00:03:13,666 --> 00:03:16,700 And it formed me. 81 00:03:16,735 --> 00:03:19,002 - Really? - Yeah. It did. 82 00:03:19,038 --> 00:03:20,937 A little bit. It did a little bit. 83 00:03:20,973 --> 00:03:23,306 Well, that's... That's all right. 84 00:03:23,341 --> 00:03:24,641 Melly Mel! 85 00:03:24,676 --> 00:03:27,009 Mel, I found these, uh, Tibetan prayer beads 86 00:03:27,045 --> 00:03:29,078 over at, uh, props, and I-I want to wear them. 87 00:03:29,113 --> 00:03:30,558 Teak's, uh, Teak's going to wear these. 88 00:03:30,582 --> 00:03:31,981 I know it doesn't match, 89 00:03:32,016 --> 00:03:33,727 - but continuity's for pussies, right? - Uh... 90 00:03:33,751 --> 00:03:35,818 So Teak's a Buddhist now. Right? It's cool. 91 00:03:35,853 --> 00:03:37,720 - Or Hindu. - Prayer-prayer beads? 92 00:03:37,755 --> 00:03:39,188 Yeah. 93 00:03:39,223 --> 00:03:41,023 He's... 94 00:03:45,797 --> 00:03:49,464 Well... we used to both do our own thing, 95 00:03:49,500 --> 00:03:51,901 and, uh, now we're doing his thing. 96 00:03:51,936 --> 00:03:55,171 Yeah, but it's good to work with good people, though, 97 00:03:55,206 --> 00:03:56,538 along the way. 98 00:03:56,574 --> 00:03:59,575 Well, that's what keeps me going. 99 00:03:59,610 --> 00:04:01,176 You doing okay? 100 00:04:01,212 --> 00:04:02,844 Yeah. I mean, 101 00:04:02,879 --> 00:04:04,646 it's hard for me being out here. 102 00:04:04,682 --> 00:04:07,949 I mean, I-I need my-my home comforts 103 00:04:07,984 --> 00:04:09,818 and, uh... 104 00:04:09,853 --> 00:04:11,687 living in a hotel for a month, 105 00:04:11,722 --> 00:04:13,221 you know, gets old, but, uh, 106 00:04:13,256 --> 00:04:15,289 Yeah, of course it does. 107 00:04:15,325 --> 00:04:16,691 I'm whining. 108 00:04:16,727 --> 00:04:19,794 No, no. Everybody needs to be home. 109 00:04:19,830 --> 00:04:21,750 You should come to my house for dinner. 110 00:04:21,868 --> 00:04:23,776 Come have dinner with me and my girls. 111 00:04:23,800 --> 00:04:25,600 And my mom. Just be 112 00:04:25,635 --> 00:04:27,180 with a family for a night. You could have 113 00:04:27,204 --> 00:04:30,238 some home-cooked food or some home-ordered takeout. 114 00:04:30,273 --> 00:04:31,872 Come on, Mel, we're bros. 115 00:04:31,907 --> 00:04:33,006 Seriously? 116 00:04:33,042 --> 00:04:35,443 Because, I mean, I mean, I'm-I'm tempted. 117 00:04:35,478 --> 00:04:36,910 Yeah, you want to come tomorrow? 118 00:04:36,946 --> 00:04:38,812 Um, I could swing tomorrow. 119 00:04:38,848 --> 00:04:40,314 Good. You're coming. 120 00:04:42,017 --> 00:04:43,284 Tomorrow. 121 00:04:43,319 --> 00:04:44,918 You bet. 122 00:04:44,954 --> 00:04:47,554 Wait. I'm sorry. Was that Mel Trueblood? 123 00:04:47,589 --> 00:04:49,556 Yeah. 124 00:04:49,591 --> 00:04:51,424 Are you having dirty with Mel Trueblood? 125 00:04:51,460 --> 00:04:53,093 Oh, my God, I love your life. 126 00:04:53,129 --> 00:04:55,796 You love what you pretend my life is. 127 00:04:55,831 --> 00:04:57,765 And no, we're not doing any dirty things. 128 00:04:57,800 --> 00:04:59,366 You are. You totally are. 129 00:04:59,401 --> 00:05:00,834 How would I not tell you? 130 00:05:00,870 --> 00:05:02,636 On what planet am I not telling you? 131 00:05:02,671 --> 00:05:04,537 Okay, so you're hoping. 132 00:05:04,573 --> 00:05:05,772 No. 133 00:05:05,807 --> 00:05:07,907 No, he's a nice guy. 134 00:05:07,942 --> 00:05:11,244 And, uh, he's also a genius. 135 00:05:13,915 --> 00:05:16,516 Sunny, stop. That's gross. 136 00:05:16,551 --> 00:05:19,152 Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for being gross. 137 00:05:20,288 --> 00:05:21,520 Yeah. I mean, 138 00:05:21,555 --> 00:05:24,290 he's cute, he's sexy. 139 00:05:24,325 --> 00:05:26,659 And I'm pretty sure he's married. 140 00:05:27,728 --> 00:05:28,928 Let's find out. 141 00:05:28,963 --> 00:05:30,797 What are you doing? Don't. 142 00:05:30,832 --> 00:05:32,832 I'm googling your genius new boyfriend. 143 00:05:32,867 --> 00:05:34,733 No, no. Not while you're driving. 144 00:05:34,769 --> 00:05:36,302 We're gonna get into an accident. 145 00:05:36,337 --> 00:05:37,803 - I hate this! - Dummy... 146 00:05:37,838 --> 00:05:40,105 - This is nervous... - A Tesla. 147 00:05:40,140 --> 00:05:41,139 It drives itself. 148 00:05:41,175 --> 00:05:44,677 Can you please put your hands on the wheel? 149 00:05:44,712 --> 00:05:46,945 This gives me a terrible feeling in my stomach. 150 00:05:46,980 --> 00:05:48,011 I hate it. 151 00:05:48,131 --> 00:05:49,493 Aw, man, he's wicked married. 152 00:05:49,517 --> 00:05:50,783 Okay, good. 153 00:05:50,818 --> 00:05:52,750 Now you driving and not the robot doing it. 154 00:05:52,786 --> 00:05:54,252 - Thank you. - Okay. 155 00:05:55,889 --> 00:05:57,722 Do you have to go right home? 156 00:05:57,757 --> 00:05:59,457 Yeah, honey. I don't want to go out. 157 00:05:59,492 --> 00:06:01,993 No, just come over for a little bit. 158 00:06:02,029 --> 00:06:03,728 Fine. 159 00:06:07,483 --> 00:06:09,392 You know, you still could sleep with him. 160 00:06:09,393 --> 00:06:10,506 Who? 161 00:06:10,541 --> 00:06:12,841 Mr. Mo' Money Farouk back there. 162 00:06:14,011 --> 00:06:15,076 No. 163 00:06:15,112 --> 00:06:17,578 You just have to promise to tell me if you do. 164 00:06:18,615 --> 00:06:20,248 You promise to tell me if you do. 165 00:06:20,283 --> 00:06:22,450 Pinky swear right now before we go into the house. 166 00:06:22,486 --> 00:06:24,052 I'm not gonna do it. He's married. 167 00:06:24,087 --> 00:06:26,154 - Uh-huh. - Will you make me a lemon drop? 168 00:06:26,189 --> 00:06:27,588 Totally. 169 00:06:27,624 --> 00:06:30,024 Hey, Sammy. 170 00:06:30,059 --> 00:06:32,292 Hi, Jeff. 171 00:06:33,029 --> 00:06:34,161 Hey, hon. 172 00:06:34,196 --> 00:06:37,965 Hey, baby. Your I, uh, deal keeps making noise. 173 00:06:38,001 --> 00:06:39,667 Yeah, I know. 174 00:06:39,702 --> 00:06:42,102 Can you look at it like I asked you? 175 00:06:42,138 --> 00:06:43,804 All my stuff is broken. 176 00:06:43,840 --> 00:06:44,906 Oh, Jesus, I'm so tired. 177 00:06:44,941 --> 00:06:46,407 You know what, though? Later, maybe. 178 00:06:46,442 --> 00:06:51,311 So are you wasted right now? 179 00:06:51,347 --> 00:06:52,913 Okay, eat shit. 180 00:06:52,948 --> 00:06:53,947 Kidding. 181 00:06:53,982 --> 00:06:56,517 You know, but eat you some shit, though. 182 00:06:56,552 --> 00:06:58,152 Right? 183 00:07:00,256 --> 00:07:02,056 What? 184 00:07:02,091 --> 00:07:04,257 Baby! 185 00:07:06,528 --> 00:07:08,962 Eh, women, huh? 186 00:07:08,997 --> 00:07:11,330 Yeah. 187 00:07:11,366 --> 00:07:12,532 - Right? - Mm-hmm. 188 00:07:12,568 --> 00:07:14,367 Seriously, though, 189 00:07:14,402 --> 00:07:16,169 she's often a psycho. 190 00:07:16,204 --> 00:07:17,303 Right, Sam? 191 00:07:17,338 --> 00:07:19,105 Yeah. 192 00:07:19,140 --> 00:07:21,107 I mean... 193 00:07:21,142 --> 00:07:22,486 I don't want to preach to the choir. 194 00:07:22,510 --> 00:07:24,277 No, totally. I get it. 195 00:07:24,312 --> 00:07:25,545 You're awesome, Sammy. 196 00:07:25,580 --> 00:07:27,080 Yeah. 197 00:07:27,115 --> 00:07:28,714 Hey, seriously, for a second, though, 198 00:07:28,749 --> 00:07:30,950 like, what would she do without me? 199 00:07:30,985 --> 00:07:31,817 You know? 200 00:07:31,852 --> 00:07:33,786 Or you, for that matter. 201 00:07:33,821 --> 00:07:36,722 I mean, I know I don't have to tell you. 202 00:07:36,757 --> 00:07:38,591 It's like you know... You know her forever. 203 00:07:38,626 --> 00:07:40,459 You guys go, like, way back. 204 00:07:40,494 --> 00:07:43,261 Yeah. We go way, way back. 205 00:07:43,297 --> 00:07:45,731 You know this. 206 00:07:45,766 --> 00:07:48,634 My dad and I got in a fight, and, uh, 207 00:07:48,669 --> 00:07:49,780 he kicked me out of the house, 208 00:07:49,804 --> 00:07:51,770 and I was so scared, 209 00:07:51,806 --> 00:07:54,973 and she took me in, and she got me a job. 210 00:07:55,008 --> 00:07:55,974 Whoa. 211 00:07:56,009 --> 00:07:57,576 Yeah, she was 212 00:07:57,611 --> 00:08:00,612 19, she was already taking care of people. 213 00:08:00,647 --> 00:08:02,481 She was amazing. 214 00:08:02,516 --> 00:08:03,648 She was full of confidence. 215 00:08:03,683 --> 00:08:05,750 She was so beautiful. 216 00:08:05,785 --> 00:08:09,988 I mean, I never knew anybody who had so much potential. 217 00:08:10,023 --> 00:08:13,625 And then she met you, Jeff. 218 00:08:13,660 --> 00:08:15,292 Jesus, did she love you. 219 00:08:15,328 --> 00:08:16,527 Yeah. 220 00:08:16,562 --> 00:08:18,429 And here's Sunny... 221 00:08:18,464 --> 00:08:20,564 All right, this woman who 222 00:08:20,600 --> 00:08:22,500 loves so hard and she tries so hard, 223 00:08:22,535 --> 00:08:25,036 and she just ends up 224 00:08:25,071 --> 00:08:28,071 pouring all of that love into you for years. 225 00:08:28,107 --> 00:08:30,941 Jeff, do you know what that's like 226 00:08:30,976 --> 00:08:33,644 to watch your friend, someone you love, 227 00:08:33,679 --> 00:08:35,779 someone who is like a goddess 228 00:08:35,814 --> 00:08:38,449 with the power to fly to the moon 229 00:08:38,484 --> 00:08:40,851 and shine a light on the world, 230 00:08:40,886 --> 00:08:43,820 and she ends up using all of that power 231 00:08:43,856 --> 00:08:46,690 just to keep her fat, shit, 232 00:08:46,725 --> 00:08:48,925 useless, boring 233 00:08:48,961 --> 00:08:51,662 stoner husband barely afloat? 234 00:08:51,697 --> 00:08:53,997 It's just a shame, Jeff. 235 00:08:55,067 --> 00:08:57,567 Well, here's the thing. 236 00:08:57,602 --> 00:09:00,903 I know that you have... 237 00:09:00,938 --> 00:09:04,374 sucked your share of dicks, huh? 238 00:09:04,409 --> 00:09:06,876 I've heard about you. 239 00:09:06,911 --> 00:09:08,611 That's okay, buddy. Don't bother. 240 00:09:08,647 --> 00:09:10,180 I don't care what you know. 241 00:09:10,215 --> 00:09:12,848 Okay, well, here's the thing. 242 00:09:12,884 --> 00:09:14,850 I'm gonna have to say that I cannot believe 243 00:09:14,886 --> 00:09:18,453 that you just said all of that to me. 244 00:09:18,489 --> 00:09:20,990 Jesus, I'm offended. 245 00:09:21,025 --> 00:09:22,858 Serious. 246 00:09:22,894 --> 00:09:24,160 Don't worry about it. 247 00:09:24,195 --> 00:09:25,394 You won't remember. 248 00:09:25,429 --> 00:09:26,729 You know why I know that? 249 00:09:26,764 --> 00:09:28,798 Because I said all of this to you 250 00:09:28,833 --> 00:09:31,667 five years ago, and you don't remember 251 00:09:31,702 --> 00:09:34,503 because you've smoked 10,000 joints since then, 252 00:09:34,538 --> 00:09:37,872 so... good night, Jeff. 253 00:09:37,908 --> 00:09:40,309 See you at the next thing. 254 00:09:43,714 --> 00:09:45,914 All right, good night, Sammy. 255 00:09:49,116 --> 00:09:51,423 Hello. I'm home. 256 00:09:51,425 --> 00:09:54,349 Mama, you're home. I missed you. 257 00:09:54,385 --> 00:09:55,384 Hi. 258 00:09:55,420 --> 00:09:57,386 - Oh! - Where were you? 259 00:09:57,422 --> 00:09:59,021 Mommy had to work today, remember? 260 00:09:59,056 --> 00:10:00,456 - Hi, Mom. - I told you. 261 00:10:00,491 --> 00:10:02,757 Hey, come meet our guest! 262 00:10:02,793 --> 00:10:04,726 Mel, this is Max, 263 00:10:04,761 --> 00:10:07,195 and this little one I'm holding is Duke. 264 00:10:07,231 --> 00:10:08,297 She's very small. 265 00:10:08,332 --> 00:10:10,198 - Hiya, Duke. - Hi. 266 00:10:10,234 --> 00:10:11,066 Sam? 267 00:10:11,101 --> 00:10:13,568 Oh, this is my sitter Lauren. 268 00:10:13,603 --> 00:10:14,702 It's Mel. 269 00:10:14,738 --> 00:10:16,571 Can I talk to you? 270 00:10:16,606 --> 00:10:18,740 Yeah. What's up? 271 00:10:18,775 --> 00:10:20,219 It's just getting really difficult the way 272 00:10:20,243 --> 00:10:21,976 your girls talk to me when you're not here, 273 00:10:22,011 --> 00:10:24,256 - and I just think that they should learn some respect, - Oh, okay. 274 00:10:24,280 --> 00:10:26,091 - And I don't know anything about... - Okay, I have 275 00:10:26,115 --> 00:10:28,182 to cook good dinner, and so thanks for coming. 276 00:10:28,217 --> 00:10:30,151 I love you. Bye. 277 00:10:30,186 --> 00:10:31,218 Frankie, come here. 278 00:10:31,254 --> 00:10:33,988 Mel, this is Frankie. 279 00:10:34,023 --> 00:10:35,589 Hi. 280 00:10:35,624 --> 00:10:37,291 Hi. 281 00:10:37,327 --> 00:10:38,926 Hi. 282 00:10:38,962 --> 00:10:40,094 Hi. 283 00:10:40,129 --> 00:10:41,195 Oh. 284 00:10:41,230 --> 00:10:42,496 Hi. 285 00:10:42,531 --> 00:10:43,564 - Hi. - Hi. 286 00:10:43,599 --> 00:10:45,066 Hi. 287 00:10:45,101 --> 00:10:46,200 Hi. 288 00:10:46,235 --> 00:10:47,501 Wait, one more hi. 289 00:10:47,536 --> 00:10:48,569 Hi. 290 00:10:48,604 --> 00:10:49,681 Oh, then I got to do this again 291 00:10:49,705 --> 00:10:51,772 to make it even. Hi. 292 00:10:54,810 --> 00:10:59,012 Put on pants. 293 00:11:00,983 --> 00:11:01,882 What? 294 00:11:01,917 --> 00:11:04,184 Are you gonna marry him? 295 00:11:04,219 --> 00:11:05,285 Hey, Duke? 296 00:11:05,320 --> 00:11:07,488 You need to learn how to whisper. 297 00:11:07,523 --> 00:11:10,690 Wait, so you're, like, an actor in the movie Mom's in? 298 00:11:10,725 --> 00:11:11,958 No, I'm the director. 299 00:11:11,994 --> 00:11:13,360 - Hello! - Oh. 300 00:11:13,395 --> 00:11:14,127 There's my mom. 301 00:11:14,162 --> 00:11:15,561 You're about to meet my mother. 302 00:11:15,597 --> 00:11:17,330 Hi, Mom. 303 00:11:17,366 --> 00:11:19,232 Hello, sweetheart. 304 00:11:19,267 --> 00:11:20,433 Mom, this is Mel. 305 00:11:20,469 --> 00:11:22,602 Mel, this is my mother Phyllis. 306 00:11:22,637 --> 00:11:25,337 - Oh. Hello. - Oh, hello, Mrs. Fox. 307 00:11:25,373 --> 00:11:26,739 It's very nice to meet you. 308 00:11:26,774 --> 00:11:27,940 Yes, well. 309 00:11:28,429 --> 00:11:30,195 Mom, did you take our phone book? 310 00:11:30,230 --> 00:11:31,574 Because I noticed all the neighbors 311 00:11:31,598 --> 00:11:32,842 - have their phone books. - No, no. 312 00:11:32,866 --> 00:11:34,010 Why would I take your phone book? 313 00:11:34,034 --> 00:11:35,100 I took my phone book, 314 00:11:35,135 --> 00:11:36,212 which was left at your step. 315 00:11:36,236 --> 00:11:37,744 No, that's mine. 316 00:11:37,918 --> 00:11:39,515 I always ask for two phone books, 317 00:11:39,539 --> 00:11:40,605 and they only brought one, 318 00:11:40,640 --> 00:11:42,474 so the one at your step must be mine. 319 00:11:42,509 --> 00:11:43,541 Mom! 320 00:11:43,577 --> 00:11:45,610 I learned a piano song, come listen. 321 00:11:48,014 --> 00:11:50,147 Come with me to the kitchen. 322 00:11:50,183 --> 00:11:52,951 Okay, off you go. 323 00:11:59,892 --> 00:12:02,293 I know this one. 324 00:12:02,328 --> 00:12:05,062 Um, did you not tell your mother 325 00:12:05,098 --> 00:12:06,541 that you were bringing home a black man? 326 00:12:06,565 --> 00:12:09,333 What? Oh, no. Of course not. 327 00:12:09,369 --> 00:12:10,468 That's not... No. 328 00:12:10,503 --> 00:12:11,969 - I mean... - What? No! 329 00:12:12,005 --> 00:12:13,337 You should've told her. 330 00:12:13,373 --> 00:12:14,405 No, no, no, no, no. 331 00:12:14,440 --> 00:12:15,817 I'm telling you, that's not a thing. 332 00:12:15,841 --> 00:12:18,809 My mother is just insane. She makes people feel weird. 333 00:12:18,844 --> 00:12:19,877 It's like her hobby. 334 00:12:19,912 --> 00:12:20,978 No, Sam. 335 00:12:21,013 --> 00:12:22,846 She's over 70, okay? 336 00:12:22,882 --> 00:12:25,749 You warn her that a black man's coming over, 337 00:12:25,784 --> 00:12:27,618 even if it's to fix the cable box. 338 00:12:27,653 --> 00:12:29,887 Oh, my God. I'm telling you, 339 00:12:29,922 --> 00:12:31,154 My mother is not like that. 340 00:12:31,189 --> 00:12:32,989 She marched for integration. 341 00:12:33,025 --> 00:12:34,190 It doesn't matter, okay? 342 00:12:34,226 --> 00:12:35,892 I'm not calling your mother racist. 343 00:12:35,927 --> 00:12:37,660 I'm calling her over 70. 344 00:12:37,695 --> 00:12:41,331 You tell an old white lady ahead of time, okay? 345 00:12:41,366 --> 00:12:43,566 You warn her. It's the right thing to do 346 00:12:43,601 --> 00:12:46,336 for the old lady and the black guy coming over. 347 00:12:46,371 --> 00:12:49,438 Okay. No. I think you're wrong. 348 00:12:49,473 --> 00:12:51,206 - Mm-hmm. - I'm hearing you, 349 00:12:51,242 --> 00:12:53,676 and I know you feel certain of this, 350 00:12:53,711 --> 00:12:57,146 but I think that this is your thing. 351 00:12:57,181 --> 00:13:00,750 That's not real. It's not. 352 00:13:00,785 --> 00:13:02,317 Oh, yeah, we don't have a mezuzah. 353 00:13:02,353 --> 00:13:03,597 - What's up with that? - We're not that. 354 00:13:03,621 --> 00:13:05,387 - Yeah. - Mm-mm! One time, 355 00:13:05,423 --> 00:13:07,056 Max was going to dance class, 356 00:13:07,091 --> 00:13:09,224 and she had this awful stomach virus. 357 00:13:09,260 --> 00:13:11,771 - Frankie, don't tell that story. - It was like a dress rehearsal 358 00:13:11,795 --> 00:13:13,628 - for a dance concert. - Right. 359 00:13:13,664 --> 00:13:15,264 And she was wearing this white leotard. 360 00:13:15,299 --> 00:13:17,399 - Okay, stop it. - Frankie? 361 00:13:17,435 --> 00:13:18,412 - Stop. - No, let her tell it. 362 00:13:18,436 --> 00:13:19,535 - Come on. What?! - Mm-mm. 363 00:13:19,570 --> 00:13:22,270 So she misses the, the dress rehearsal. 364 00:13:22,305 --> 00:13:24,839 She's gonna be dropped out of the concert. 365 00:13:24,875 --> 00:13:26,274 - Mm-hmm. - Mom! 366 00:13:26,309 --> 00:13:27,520 But she has this stomach virus... 367 00:13:27,544 --> 00:13:28,788 Frankie, you can't tell this story 368 00:13:28,812 --> 00:13:30,979 - 'cause we're eating. - Oh, come on. Mom... 369 00:13:31,014 --> 00:13:32,547 No! Shut up! 370 00:13:32,583 --> 00:13:33,815 Frankie, you're stopping. 371 00:13:33,850 --> 00:13:35,283 Fine. Fine. Fine. 372 00:13:35,318 --> 00:13:36,429 - Thank you. - Okay, I'm done. 373 00:13:36,453 --> 00:13:37,985 - You're welcome. - I'm done. 374 00:13:40,623 --> 00:13:42,468 And then, right in the middle of doing a big split, 375 00:13:42,492 --> 00:13:43,702 brown poop squirted out of her butt 376 00:13:43,726 --> 00:13:45,259 all over the perfect white leotard! 377 00:13:46,696 --> 00:13:47,895 Mom! 378 00:13:50,900 --> 00:13:52,533 Sorry, Mel. 379 00:13:52,569 --> 00:13:55,302 We like that kind of humor at dinner. 380 00:13:55,337 --> 00:13:57,137 Oh, no, no, no. It's-it's fine. 381 00:13:57,172 --> 00:13:58,338 What are you doing? 382 00:13:58,373 --> 00:14:00,140 Are you, uh, still studying dance? 383 00:14:00,175 --> 00:14:01,541 I do this thing. 384 00:14:01,577 --> 00:14:02,710 It's-it's a modern class. 385 00:14:02,745 --> 00:14:04,778 It's based on this thing called Alvin Ailey. 386 00:14:04,814 --> 00:14:05,646 I don't know if... 387 00:14:05,681 --> 00:14:07,948 Sure, I-I-I studied there, actually. 388 00:14:07,984 --> 00:14:09,382 You did? 389 00:14:09,418 --> 00:14:11,351 Yeah, in New York when I was in high school. 390 00:14:11,386 --> 00:14:13,653 That's great that you're doing that. 391 00:14:13,688 --> 00:14:15,388 Even if you don't dance, which, 392 00:14:15,424 --> 00:14:17,290 you know, I gave it up when I was 19, 393 00:14:17,326 --> 00:14:19,092 but you'll never regret it. 394 00:14:19,128 --> 00:14:20,860 I mean, it's still a part of me. 395 00:14:20,895 --> 00:14:22,295 Yeah? 396 00:14:22,331 --> 00:14:23,997 Thanks. 397 00:14:24,032 --> 00:14:25,520 No, you're lucky, 398 00:14:25,522 --> 00:14:27,712 because when I was your age and I was aching to be an artist, 399 00:14:27,736 --> 00:14:30,136 I had to explain that to my parents. 400 00:14:30,171 --> 00:14:32,005 My father was a janitor. 401 00:14:32,040 --> 00:14:34,273 My mom's still a nurse. 402 00:14:34,308 --> 00:14:36,709 But they didn't know from art. 403 00:14:36,745 --> 00:14:40,079 You're lucky because your mother is an artist. 404 00:14:40,115 --> 00:14:41,881 Well, she's not, like, an artist. 405 00:14:41,916 --> 00:14:45,451 Yes, she is. She's, like, an artist. 406 00:14:45,486 --> 00:14:47,386 Well, thank you, Mel. 407 00:14:47,421 --> 00:14:49,288 That's very nice of you, Mel. 408 00:14:49,323 --> 00:14:51,823 The last time I was in London, 409 00:14:51,859 --> 00:14:55,161 I went to Harrods to buy pantyhose, and so, 410 00:14:55,196 --> 00:14:58,464 I go to the lingerie department, 411 00:14:58,499 --> 00:15:00,732 and Harrods had their own brand of pantyhose, 412 00:15:00,768 --> 00:15:02,901 and they're the only ones I wear, 413 00:15:02,936 --> 00:15:05,137 and you can only buy them at that counter. 414 00:15:05,172 --> 00:15:06,972 And their hose has three colors, 415 00:15:07,741 --> 00:15:10,642 Nude, White, and Nigger Brown. 416 00:15:10,678 --> 00:15:13,111 That was the name of the color. 417 00:15:13,147 --> 00:15:15,080 And that's the color I always buy. 418 00:15:15,115 --> 00:15:16,781 So I go to the counter, 419 00:15:16,816 --> 00:15:18,916 and the young woman who was working there 420 00:15:18,951 --> 00:15:20,518 happened to be black. 421 00:15:20,554 --> 00:15:23,588 And I said to her, "I would like medium-size hose." 422 00:15:23,623 --> 00:15:25,790 And she says, "What color, please?" 423 00:15:25,825 --> 00:15:28,059 and so I said, "Nigger Brown." 424 00:15:28,094 --> 00:15:29,994 And she was shocked. 425 00:15:30,029 --> 00:15:33,197 I said it just like that. I could see she was upset. 426 00:15:33,232 --> 00:15:35,299 I said to her, "I did you the honor 427 00:15:35,334 --> 00:15:36,801 "of not noticing your color. 428 00:15:36,836 --> 00:15:40,171 Would you do me the honor of getting my item for me?" 429 00:15:40,206 --> 00:15:41,371 So she went and got them, 430 00:15:41,407 --> 00:15:44,374 and after that, I paid for the hose. 431 00:15:44,410 --> 00:15:46,043 Just so you know. 432 00:15:46,079 --> 00:15:49,746 Oh, I need to use the loo. 433 00:16:03,667 --> 00:16:05,518 You know, you're are really nice fimily. 434 00:16:05,519 --> 00:16:07,457 Thank you. They love you, 435 00:16:07,547 --> 00:16:09,780 and I am sorry about my mom. 436 00:16:09,816 --> 00:16:11,456 No, no, no. Don't be sorry about your mom. 437 00:16:11,484 --> 00:16:12,883 Never be sorry about your mom. 438 00:16:12,919 --> 00:16:16,721 No, Mel. I'm very sorry about my shitty mother. 439 00:16:16,756 --> 00:16:19,156 Okay, well, I don't know her. 440 00:16:19,192 --> 00:16:21,592 No, you don't. 441 00:16:22,829 --> 00:16:24,929 Um... 442 00:16:24,964 --> 00:16:26,030 Yeah. 443 00:16:26,065 --> 00:16:27,664 I... 444 00:16:29,301 --> 00:16:30,667 You know, I have a friend 445 00:16:30,703 --> 00:16:35,239 who is very invested in wanting us to have sex. 446 00:16:35,274 --> 00:16:36,707 Really? 447 00:16:36,742 --> 00:16:39,743 She needs us to do it. It's pretty bad. 448 00:16:40,946 --> 00:16:42,145 Well... 449 00:16:44,082 --> 00:16:46,583 But I'm not about to get into a thing with a married guy. 450 00:16:46,619 --> 00:16:49,686 That's just not, that's not me. 451 00:16:52,257 --> 00:16:55,792 Well, I mean, I'm going through a divorce right now, 452 00:16:55,827 --> 00:16:58,061 and I've been going through a divorce, 453 00:16:58,096 --> 00:17:00,797 and we've been separated for months. 454 00:17:02,267 --> 00:17:04,367 But I, uh, you know, 455 00:17:04,402 --> 00:17:05,969 am going back to New York tomorrow. 456 00:17:06,004 --> 00:17:07,237 Yeah. 457 00:17:07,272 --> 00:17:09,739 And as much as my brother 458 00:17:09,774 --> 00:17:12,541 would want me to throw down with Sammy Fox, I mean... 459 00:17:12,577 --> 00:17:15,411 - Hey. - Hey. You know. 460 00:17:15,446 --> 00:17:18,080 I don't know. I mean... 461 00:17:18,115 --> 00:17:20,249 I mean, I like you. 462 00:17:21,486 --> 00:17:23,952 But I don't want to hook up with you. 463 00:17:23,988 --> 00:17:27,322 I mean, actually, I really like you. 464 00:17:27,357 --> 00:17:29,324 Yeah, me, too. 465 00:17:29,359 --> 00:17:30,893 I mean, there's... 466 00:17:30,928 --> 00:17:31,994 No. Yeah. 467 00:17:32,029 --> 00:17:34,596 ...a feeling there. Uh, it's... 468 00:17:34,631 --> 00:17:36,765 it's a nice feeling. 469 00:17:37,868 --> 00:17:38,934 Yeah. 470 00:17:38,969 --> 00:17:40,269 But me, too. 471 00:17:40,304 --> 00:17:42,904 I-I'm... I don't want to... 472 00:17:42,939 --> 00:17:44,339 I mean... 473 00:17:44,374 --> 00:17:45,540 - No, I... - Just like... 474 00:17:45,575 --> 00:17:48,142 That's... There's your ride. 475 00:17:48,178 --> 00:17:50,144 - That's my ride. - Yeah. 476 00:17:53,283 --> 00:17:54,783 Come here. 477 00:17:54,818 --> 00:17:55,750 Mm. 478 00:18:04,894 --> 00:18:08,662 Can I just tell you this was the first peace I've felt 479 00:18:08,698 --> 00:18:12,066 in a very long time? 480 00:18:12,101 --> 00:18:13,634 Same. 481 00:18:16,071 --> 00:18:17,604 Bye, Sam. 482 00:18:22,044 --> 00:18:23,477 See you, Mel. 483 00:18:48,239 --> 00:18:54,290