1 00:00:06,339 --> 00:00:11,052 ‪NETFLIX 原創影集 2 00:00:13,263 --> 00:00:16,141 ‪小桑德斯先生? ‪我是阿拉希根的法蘭克墨菲 3 00:00:16,224 --> 00:00:17,475 ‪很高興認識你,法蘭克 4 00:00:17,559 --> 00:00:20,937 ‪我想跟你握手,但我腕骨粉碎了 5 00:00:21,021 --> 00:00:21,896 ‪好 6 00:00:21,980 --> 00:00:26,067 ‪明天一早,747會從雪城飛來 7 00:00:26,151 --> 00:00:28,236 ‪等煙燻消毒後,我們就會放… 8 00:00:28,319 --> 00:00:30,947 ‪讓我猜猜,放坡道在兩邊嗎? 9 00:00:31,031 --> 00:00:33,867 ‪聽著,快把飛機放好 10 00:00:33,950 --> 00:00:37,662 ‪我會給這個爛鎮難忘的鳥表演 11 00:00:37,746 --> 00:00:38,705 ‪懂嗎? 12 00:00:38,788 --> 00:00:39,789 ‪非常清楚 13 00:00:39,873 --> 00:00:42,959 ‪如果沒別的事,我要回家找… 14 00:00:43,043 --> 00:00:45,962 ‪這個晚上還沒結束 15 00:00:46,046 --> 00:00:48,631 ‪我不喜歡一個人喝酒 16 00:00:49,507 --> 00:00:51,551 ‪我都自己喝,但我不喜歡 17 00:00:51,634 --> 00:00:54,721 ‪(小巴斯特桑德 ‪比另一個人帶種多了) 18 00:00:55,930 --> 00:01:00,060 ‪我最喜歡的啤酒就是…手中的酒 19 00:01:01,686 --> 00:01:03,104 ‪(醫院) 20 00:01:05,982 --> 00:01:09,527 ‪法蘭克,你沒狂喝,怎麼了? 21 00:01:10,236 --> 00:01:11,696 ‪沒事,我沒事 22 00:01:11,780 --> 00:01:14,199 ‪快點,我給你靠,兄弟 23 00:01:14,866 --> 00:01:18,870 ‪我們剛經過我父親去世的醫院 24 00:01:19,704 --> 00:01:22,707 ‪老實說,在那之後我很不好過 25 00:01:22,791 --> 00:01:24,626 ‪我一團糟 26 00:01:24,709 --> 00:01:27,796 ‪找你飛越能讓我領到一大筆獎金 27 00:01:27,879 --> 00:01:30,924 ‪我想我爸去世時就是想告訴我 28 00:01:31,007 --> 00:01:33,760 ‪工作會賦予你的人生價值 29 00:01:36,054 --> 00:01:37,847 ‪你認為這話是真的嗎? 30 00:01:39,224 --> 00:01:43,019 ‪對不起,你有說什麼嗎? ‪我的右耳聽不到 31 00:01:43,103 --> 00:01:45,563 ‪我說我爸死了 32 00:01:45,647 --> 00:01:47,482 ‪心情不好嗎? 33 00:01:47,565 --> 00:01:52,195 ‪我只知道一個解憂的辦法 34 00:01:52,278 --> 00:01:55,115 ‪-你在做什麼? ‪-你得放下這鳥事,法蘭克 35 00:01:55,198 --> 00:01:58,451 ‪我已經放開鳥事了,不憂鬱了 36 00:01:59,577 --> 00:02:01,412 ‪咿哈 37 00:02:01,496 --> 00:02:04,499 ‪該死 38 00:02:15,552 --> 00:02:17,762 ‪晚餐和帽子 39 00:02:17,846 --> 00:02:20,723 ‪這是十二月的七月聖誕節 40 00:02:35,280 --> 00:02:38,032 {\an8}‪(兵單) 41 00:02:47,417 --> 00:02:48,668 {\an8}‪(過期) 42 00:03:08,855 --> 00:03:12,066 ‪與吉姆內柏斯 ‪及摩門大會堂唱詩班共度平安夜 43 00:03:12,150 --> 00:03:13,651 ‪今天取消 44 00:03:13,735 --> 00:03:17,655 ‪本體育台要為您播出特別節目 45 00:03:17,739 --> 00:03:19,282 ‪(小巴斯特桑德平安夜直播) 46 00:03:19,365 --> 00:03:23,036 ‪來自鐵銹帶紀念機場和停車場的直播 47 00:03:23,119 --> 00:03:26,873 ‪白宮啤酒和蒂普迪杜髮膠為您呈獻 48 00:03:26,956 --> 00:03:32,128 ‪小巴斯特桑德“平安夜飛越” 49 00:03:32,212 --> 00:03:34,380 {\an8}‪祝各位平安夜愉快 50 00:03:34,464 --> 00:03:36,591 {\an8}‪再過一小時,小巴斯特桑德 51 00:03:36,674 --> 00:03:40,136 {\an8}‪將嘗試1970年代的成功第一跳 52 00:03:40,220 --> 00:03:45,225 {\an8}‪飛越阿拉希根航空提供的波音747 53 00:03:45,308 --> 00:03:47,685 {\an8}‪巴斯特才飛不過 54 00:03:48,519 --> 00:03:51,648 {\an8}‪看看我,我上電視了 55 00:03:52,899 --> 00:03:57,445 {\an8}‪戴夫,這些頭腦簡單 ‪沒讀過書的人能動搖選舉 56 00:03:57,528 --> 00:03:59,614 {\an8}‪讓我感受身為美國人的驕傲 57 00:03:59,697 --> 00:04:03,493 ‪法蘭克,他應該要在飛越後才昏過去 58 00:04:03,576 --> 00:04:07,538 ‪艾德,他告訴我 ‪這是他飛越前的儀式,別管他了 59 00:04:07,622 --> 00:04:09,958 ‪好,但他似乎沒有呼吸 60 00:04:10,041 --> 00:04:12,752 ‪去死吧,小傢伙 61 00:04:15,004 --> 00:04:17,715 ‪我見到小巴斯特桑德了 62 00:04:17,799 --> 00:04:19,759 {\an8}‪董事會主席來了 63 00:04:21,594 --> 00:04:23,846 ‪我得去拍馬屁 64 00:04:24,514 --> 00:04:26,516 ‪熱椒鹽卷餅、雨衣 65 00:04:26,599 --> 00:04:29,727 ‪我太太昨晚做的烤牛肉剩菜 66 00:04:29,811 --> 00:04:34,357 ‪-媽,座位好棒 ‪-視野比我們看那雕像男爆炸還棒 67 00:04:34,440 --> 00:04:36,276 ‪好,開心狂歡 68 00:04:36,359 --> 00:04:40,738 ‪你會看到救護車的漂亮閃燈 69 00:04:43,825 --> 00:04:45,451 {\an8}‪(注意:前三排有潑濕疑慮) 70 00:04:45,535 --> 00:04:47,203 {\an8}‪-法蘭克 ‪-爸 71 00:04:47,287 --> 00:04:49,914 {\an8}‪大家,我要去拚獎金,愛你們 72 00:04:49,998 --> 00:04:52,292 ‪我也愛你,法蘭克墨菲 73 00:04:53,167 --> 00:04:55,086 ‪聖誕老人真的有讀我的信 74 00:05:00,049 --> 00:05:01,676 ‪嘿,美女 75 00:05:01,759 --> 00:05:04,178 ‪加州,我們來了 76 00:05:04,262 --> 00:05:06,931 {\an8}‪我在聖誕樹下留了一張紙條給兒子 77 00:05:07,015 --> 00:05:08,641 ‪他們現在是葛雷的問題了 78 00:05:08,725 --> 00:05:12,729 {\an8}‪我終於自由了,我要改回本姓 79 00:05:12,812 --> 00:05:14,397 ‪再見了,金妮霍爾特 80 00:05:14,480 --> 00:05:17,442 ‪歡迎回來,金妮戴希斯特 81 00:05:18,443 --> 00:05:20,570 {\an8}‪後座好顛 82 00:05:20,653 --> 00:05:23,156 ‪跟東條買東西就是這樣 83 00:05:23,239 --> 00:05:24,741 ‪她也要來嗎? 84 00:05:24,824 --> 00:05:27,744 {\an8}‪她是我媽,我們跟她一起住 85 00:05:27,827 --> 00:05:32,707 {\an8}‪踩右邊的踏板,開車吧,小鬍子小姐 86 00:05:32,790 --> 00:05:36,252 {\an8}‪她走了,她真的走了 87 00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:42,884 ‪我永遠不會忘記 ‪我跟她在一起的六百萬秒 88 00:05:42,967 --> 00:05:45,720 {\an8}‪(考慮黑人家庭,白飛房地產) 89 00:05:45,803 --> 00:05:49,724 ‪不准妳搖下窗戶,我冷死了 90 00:05:49,807 --> 00:05:52,977 {\an8}‪看到你為可愛的小寶寶演奏音樂真棒 91 00:05:53,061 --> 00:05:54,771 ‪對,很讚吧? 92 00:05:54,854 --> 00:05:58,441 ‪我本來會受到起立鼓掌 ‪但他們還站不起來 93 00:05:58,524 --> 00:06:02,236 ‪凱文,我喜歡你裝笨的時候 94 00:06:02,320 --> 00:06:05,323 ‪妳說得對,我聰明得要命 95 00:06:07,033 --> 00:06:11,204 {\an8}‪大家記得凱文吧? ‪他惹毛了整個猶太社區 96 00:06:11,287 --> 00:06:13,539 {\an8}‪對,我真的很抱歉 97 00:06:13,623 --> 00:06:14,624 ‪你的下巴還好嗎? 98 00:06:14,707 --> 00:06:18,211 ‪我現在得用吸管喝漢堡了 99 00:06:18,294 --> 00:06:22,006 ‪不會吧,有這種漢堡?你一定很會吸 100 00:06:22,090 --> 00:06:26,052 ‪凱文,今天是平安夜 ‪你該在家嚇家人才對吧 101 00:06:26,135 --> 00:06:29,472 {\an8}‪他們全去機場 ‪看巴斯特桑德飛越我爸的架設了 102 00:06:29,555 --> 00:06:34,435 ‪對喔,騎車飛越大噴射機 103 00:06:34,519 --> 00:06:35,520 ‪(《今日精神病》) 104 00:06:35,603 --> 00:06:38,147 ‪聽起來某人有未解決的童年問題 105 00:06:38,231 --> 00:06:41,609 ‪對,還很帶種 ‪如果你想看的話,在第九頻道 106 00:06:41,692 --> 00:06:45,696 ‪我想我可以基於研究目的看一下 107 00:06:45,780 --> 00:06:48,491 ‪我在寫一本關於男性逞勇的書 108 00:06:48,574 --> 00:06:52,328 ‪書名是《嘆氣的穴居人》 109 00:06:52,412 --> 00:06:56,499 ‪-封面是諷刺畫… ‪-爸,我們要去我的房間聊天 110 00:06:56,582 --> 00:06:58,292 ‪好,寶貝 111 00:06:58,376 --> 00:07:01,212 ‪我想妳會知道好歹… 112 00:07:03,297 --> 00:07:05,466 ‪他才飛不過 113 00:07:05,550 --> 00:07:07,009 {\an8}‪請,普萊斯考特先生 114 00:07:07,093 --> 00:07:10,346 {\an8}‪在前排能看清楚降落坡道 ‪就在捐血車後面 115 00:07:10,430 --> 00:07:12,640 ‪對,很棒,做得好,墨菲 116 00:07:12,723 --> 00:07:17,061 {\an8}‪謝謝,我想說 ‪我很感激你欣賞我的點子… 117 00:07:17,145 --> 00:07:19,939 ‪墨菲,哪裡有威士忌加蘇打? 118 00:07:20,022 --> 00:07:23,025 {\an8}‪我們只有一個啤酒篷 ‪我可以給你拿一瓶 119 00:07:23,109 --> 00:07:26,279 {\an8}‪太好了,給董事會都拿一些來吧 120 00:07:26,362 --> 00:07:28,197 ‪-我要一瓶 ‪-啤酒聽起來很棒 121 00:07:28,281 --> 00:07:30,908 ‪你要現在給我錢還是… 122 00:07:32,076 --> 00:07:34,745 {\an8}‪算我的,該死 123 00:07:34,829 --> 00:07:37,957 ‪市長先生,很高興認識你 124 00:07:38,040 --> 00:07:39,709 ‪這是第一次 125 00:07:39,792 --> 00:07:41,794 ‪我也很高興認識你 126 00:07:41,878 --> 00:07:43,838 ‪我從沒見過你 127 00:07:43,921 --> 00:07:47,425 ‪視情況而定,說不定現在也沒見過 128 00:07:47,508 --> 00:07:51,596 ‪謝謝你讓我工會的人負責這個工程 129 00:07:51,679 --> 00:07:54,932 ‪我們沒在喇叭塔裝螺帽,省下不少錢 130 00:07:55,016 --> 00:07:59,020 ‪有螺栓,沒螺帽,懂我的意思吧 131 00:07:59,103 --> 00:08:02,106 ‪我知道你的意思,你懂我的意思吧 132 00:08:02,190 --> 00:08:05,109 ‪他們在那裡,該死的騙子 133 00:08:05,193 --> 00:08:08,279 ‪等我們活剝他們的皮 ‪他們還搞不清楚 134 00:08:08,821 --> 00:08:11,574 ‪皮,我以前很喜歡這個字 135 00:08:11,657 --> 00:08:15,203 ‪你把我弄進採訪車 ‪我就把隱藏攝影機的帶子偷放進去 136 00:08:15,286 --> 00:08:17,872 ‪帶子上有賈戈里阿迪賄賂市長 137 00:08:17,955 --> 00:08:19,749 ‪我本來去年要播放 138 00:08:19,832 --> 00:08:23,503 ‪但市長聽到風聲,把我的名聲毀掉 139 00:08:23,586 --> 00:08:27,673 ‪胡謅我“迷戀孕肚” 140 00:08:27,757 --> 00:08:29,675 ‪所以你沒喜歡大肚孕婦? 141 00:08:29,759 --> 00:08:31,135 ‪那純屬虛構 142 00:08:37,266 --> 00:08:39,894 ‪-繼續來 ‪-老天,你老婆離開你了嗎? 143 00:08:39,977 --> 00:08:41,812 ‪為什麼大家都這樣問我? 144 00:08:41,896 --> 00:08:44,732 ‪我想灌醉我老闆,這叫事業 145 00:08:44,815 --> 00:08:47,276 ‪路易斯舅舅,很高興你回來了 146 00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:48,236 ‪我也是,小子 147 00:08:48,319 --> 00:08:50,988 ‪你會闖進別人家說你來了 148 00:08:51,072 --> 00:08:52,323 ‪就像《布魯斯又來了》? 149 00:08:52,990 --> 00:08:56,118 ‪親愛的 ‪如果妳想在電視上看真正的同性戀 150 00:08:56,202 --> 00:08:58,287 ‪就去看伯特跟恩尼 151 00:08:58,371 --> 00:09:00,414 {\an8}‪節目再過30分鐘就要開始 152 00:09:00,498 --> 00:09:04,293 {\an8}‪歡迎從心臟地帶來的幾個乾淨年輕人 153 00:09:04,377 --> 00:09:06,379 {\an8}‪《和諧國度》 154 00:09:06,462 --> 00:09:09,674 ‪大家好,我們代表美國青年 155 00:09:10,675 --> 00:09:12,802 ‪美國很不錯 156 00:09:12,885 --> 00:09:15,596 ‪從監理處到中情局 157 00:09:15,680 --> 00:09:17,056 ‪我們愛荷華和喬治亞 158 00:09:17,139 --> 00:09:22,019 ‪有這種音樂聽 ‪何必要聽《齊柏林飛船》? 159 00:09:22,103 --> 00:09:23,229 ‪(蘇墨菲的笑笑扭扭) 160 00:09:23,312 --> 00:09:26,941 ‪維克,這個廣告很棒 ‪對我的事業會很有幫助 161 00:09:27,024 --> 00:09:30,278 ‪我知道,見報以後 ‪妳就會被寶寶淹沒 162 00:09:30,361 --> 00:09:31,529 ‪這是好事嗎? 163 00:09:31,612 --> 00:09:33,531 ‪就這個比喻來說,是 164 00:09:33,614 --> 00:09:36,784 ‪好,瓊西,我們現在闖進採訪車 165 00:09:36,867 --> 00:09:40,580 ‪如果有人想阻止我們 ‪我就說我是廂型車檢查員 166 00:09:40,663 --> 00:09:45,209 ‪你瘋了嗎?你怎麼會覺得 ‪有人會相信這種爛藉口 167 00:09:45,293 --> 00:09:48,087 ‪對喔,你是白人 168 00:09:48,170 --> 00:09:50,464 ‪你們黑人的問題就在這裡 169 00:09:50,548 --> 00:09:53,092 ‪什麼都要硬扯種族 170 00:09:53,175 --> 00:09:57,096 ‪去你的,波哥 ‪等我們搞定,我就跟你沒瓜葛了 171 00:09:57,179 --> 00:09:59,098 ‪哎呀呀 172 00:10:01,892 --> 00:10:06,314 ‪這可不是從旋轉烤架逃脫的豬嗎? 173 00:10:06,397 --> 00:10:08,482 ‪這下你害我肚子餓了 174 00:10:08,566 --> 00:10:12,570 ‪我想說,這是你的司機嗎? 175 00:10:12,653 --> 00:10:14,864 ‪我是市議員,混蛋 176 00:10:14,947 --> 00:10:18,743 ‪你就該跟垃圾與廁所為伍 177 00:10:18,826 --> 00:10:21,329 ‪我不怕你,市長先生 178 00:10:21,412 --> 00:10:24,624 ‪叫我市長先生先生 179 00:10:27,543 --> 00:10:29,754 ‪告訴你,戴夫,想到白人 180 00:10:29,837 --> 00:10:33,507 ‪藐視安全操作機器的法律 181 00:10:33,591 --> 00:10:38,220 ‪就讓我想到在我們來之前 ‪在這裡自由生活的人為何會被毀掉 182 00:10:38,304 --> 00:10:40,389 ‪沒錯,恩 183 00:10:40,473 --> 00:10:44,810 ‪那是早餐,該著裝了 184 00:10:47,396 --> 00:10:51,734 ‪搞什麼?坡道在兩端 ‪那飛機應該橫著擺才對 185 00:10:51,817 --> 00:10:56,030 ‪這能對電視攝影機突顯我們的商標 186 00:10:56,113 --> 00:10:57,823 ‪A代表阿拉希根 187 00:10:57,907 --> 00:10:59,617 ‪這我沒辦法跳 188 00:10:59,700 --> 00:11:01,160 ‪你的經紀人同意了 189 00:11:01,243 --> 00:11:05,164 ‪我的經紀人是我的前妻 ‪她什麼都能分一半 190 00:11:05,247 --> 00:11:09,418 ‪就連兩頭獅子上一條鱷魚 ‪她也會叫我飛越 191 00:11:09,502 --> 00:11:10,711 ‪我要走了 192 00:11:13,089 --> 00:11:16,175 ‪-怎麼了? ‪-法蘭克,你會騎車飛越嗎? 193 00:11:16,258 --> 00:11:19,261 ‪-不,我不會,艾德 ‪-那事情就大條了 194 00:11:20,471 --> 00:11:22,223 ‪該死 195 00:11:25,101 --> 00:11:26,936 ‪所以你最近在做什麼? 196 00:11:27,019 --> 00:11:28,270 ‪沒什麼 197 00:11:28,354 --> 00:11:32,066 ‪我大部分的時間都在替寶寶寫歌 198 00:11:32,149 --> 00:11:36,362 ‪我正在寫尿布疹的搖滾歌劇 199 00:11:36,445 --> 00:11:40,950 ‪妳跟我分手,讓我有時間思考 200 00:11:41,033 --> 00:11:45,454 ‪我發現,也許 201 00:11:45,538 --> 00:11:49,750 ‪我現在還不急著認真 202 00:11:49,834 --> 00:11:53,170 ‪我很樂意只跟妳做朋友 203 00:11:55,923 --> 00:11:57,049 ‪不要也行 204 00:12:03,431 --> 00:12:04,765 ‪巴斯特 205 00:12:05,516 --> 00:12:06,559 ‪別這樣對我 206 00:12:06,642 --> 00:12:08,686 ‪這是為了宣傳阿拉希根 207 00:12:08,769 --> 00:12:11,105 ‪不在電視上秀商標就沒意義了 208 00:12:11,188 --> 00:12:12,189 ‪意義? 209 00:12:12,273 --> 00:12:14,650 ‪意義在於看一個神話人物 210 00:12:14,734 --> 00:12:17,653 ‪老二比你的脖子還長,看他對抗死亡 211 00:12:17,737 --> 00:12:21,031 ‪讓你們這些 ‪只會窩在室內喝果汁的人知道 212 00:12:21,115 --> 00:12:25,953 ‪你們不用娶 ‪給你們一片派吃的第一個妓女 213 00:12:26,036 --> 00:12:27,747 ‪這些話讓我無法反駁 214 00:12:27,830 --> 00:12:31,125 ‪現在我得倒馬桶,你們在哪裡釣魚? 215 00:12:32,126 --> 00:12:33,794 ‪巴斯特,拜託 216 00:12:33,878 --> 00:12:37,590 ‪我的人生就靠這件事了 ‪這分工作是我的全部 217 00:12:37,673 --> 00:12:41,427 ‪如果你不跳飛機 ‪解救航空公司,我就是個屁 218 00:12:41,510 --> 00:12:45,973 ‪你不是屁,好嗎? ‪你是該死的財團奴僕 219 00:12:48,517 --> 00:12:50,311 ‪我不知道該怎麼辦 220 00:12:53,439 --> 00:12:55,191 ‪天啊,你真可悲 221 00:12:55,274 --> 00:12:57,067 ‪難怪你爸死了 222 00:12:58,319 --> 00:12:59,195 ‪好吧 223 00:12:59,278 --> 00:13:01,697 ‪我會飛越你的飛機,小傢伙 224 00:13:01,781 --> 00:13:04,575 ‪反正我明天也不記得了 225 00:13:06,827 --> 00:13:09,997 ‪你要去哪裡?你再過21分鐘才能飛越 226 00:13:10,080 --> 00:13:13,501 ‪你要我飛越,我現在就飛越 227 00:13:13,584 --> 00:13:17,254 ‪另一邊見,咿哈 228 00:13:17,338 --> 00:13:18,964 ‪該死 229 00:13:20,174 --> 00:13:24,553 ‪保持樂觀讓我們頂天立地 230 00:13:24,637 --> 00:13:26,096 ‪幹 231 00:13:34,230 --> 00:13:36,190 ‪你有遺言嗎? 232 00:13:36,273 --> 00:13:39,401 ‪你知道嗎?快點開槍 233 00:13:39,485 --> 00:13:41,695 ‪要就快點打我 234 00:13:41,779 --> 00:13:45,783 ‪你可以殺了我,但你殺不死我的堅持 235 00:13:45,866 --> 00:13:47,618 ‪你的時間也不多了 236 00:13:47,701 --> 00:13:49,703 ‪我不會求饒的 237 00:13:49,787 --> 00:13:53,624 ‪我是男人,我不會奉承鼠輩的 238 00:13:54,792 --> 00:14:00,297 ‪你要承受他這種侮辱? ‪開槍打他吧,朋友 239 00:14:00,381 --> 00:14:01,590 ‪天啊,去你的,波哥 240 00:14:01,674 --> 00:14:03,759 ‪好,就這樣 241 00:14:03,843 --> 00:14:06,512 ‪正中戈登 242 00:14:08,430 --> 00:14:09,557 ‪你有保險套嗎? 243 00:14:09,640 --> 00:14:12,476 ‪謝天謝地,我放火燒了妳的會堂 244 00:14:12,560 --> 00:14:15,020 ‪-這是我上班時在卡車上拿到的 ‪-你有工作? 245 00:14:15,104 --> 00:14:18,190 ‪有,我做了兩小時 ‪然後我的老闆就哭了 246 00:14:18,941 --> 00:14:20,776 ‪你們看,爸爸是節目的一部分 247 00:14:20,860 --> 00:14:23,571 ‪巴斯特,不,現在在播廣告 248 00:14:23,654 --> 00:14:25,114 ‪-滾開 ‪-現在在播廣告 249 00:14:25,197 --> 00:14:28,617 ‪對,法蘭克,繼續像星星一樣放光芒 250 00:14:28,701 --> 00:14:29,743 ‪真希望我死了 251 00:14:29,827 --> 00:14:33,539 {\an8}‪巴斯特要提前20分鐘飛越 252 00:14:33,622 --> 00:14:36,041 ‪這個人對電視台的規定視若無睹 253 00:14:36,125 --> 00:14:38,294 ‪不會吧 254 00:14:38,377 --> 00:14:41,130 ‪-菲利普,我們快去看 ‪-讓開 255 00:14:41,213 --> 00:14:44,758 ‪我唯一一次決定在室內拉屎就這樣 256 00:14:44,842 --> 00:14:48,387 ‪-讓開 ‪-我們要倒了 257 00:14:48,470 --> 00:14:50,931 ‪你的螺帽害死人了 258 00:14:52,641 --> 00:14:54,101 ‪瓊西,小心 259 00:14:56,604 --> 00:14:59,773 ‪我們要中斷廣告 ‪因為小巴斯特桑德準備飛越 260 00:15:01,609 --> 00:15:05,529 ‪-孩子們,穿好雨衣 ‪-不了,我想感受血噴濺我的臉 261 00:15:36,477 --> 00:15:39,688 ‪你是我的西斯汀教堂 262 00:15:39,772 --> 00:15:43,984 ‪拜託,以上帝之名 ‪讓那個長老二混蛋飛到另一邊吧 263 00:15:53,285 --> 00:15:57,039 ‪他成功了,艾德 ‪他成功了,那瘋子做到了 264 00:15:57,122 --> 00:15:58,707 ‪我好硬 265 00:15:59,667 --> 00:16:01,502 ‪飛機來了 266 00:16:01,585 --> 00:16:04,421 ‪-那該死的瘋子成功了 ‪-爸 267 00:16:06,548 --> 00:16:10,427 ‪再也不要接近我女兒 ‪你這個非猶太混蛋 268 00:16:10,511 --> 00:16:14,056 ‪我什麼都沒做,你嚇到我,害我歪了 269 00:16:14,139 --> 00:16:16,266 ‪再見,凱文,學校見 270 00:16:16,350 --> 00:16:19,228 ‪好耶,巴斯特 271 00:16:19,311 --> 00:16:21,981 ‪鮑伯,你救了我一命 272 00:16:22,064 --> 00:16:25,484 ‪這是應該的,你是好人 273 00:16:25,567 --> 00:16:30,614 ‪我發誓我以後要變得更好,瓊西 274 00:16:31,323 --> 00:16:34,702 ‪我有幸福的生活可以期待 275 00:16:34,785 --> 00:16:38,080 ‪但你癱瘓了,你的餘生都要… 276 00:16:38,163 --> 00:16:41,834 ‪坐椅子,很棒的椅子 277 00:16:41,917 --> 00:16:44,294 ‪這是美夢成真 278 00:16:45,379 --> 00:16:48,048 ‪可以給我一根餵食管嗎? 279 00:16:51,593 --> 00:16:55,097 ‪巴斯特,你終於飛越成功了 ‪你有什麼感想? 280 00:16:55,764 --> 00:16:59,184 ‪恩尼,我在上面飛越飛機時 281 00:16:59,268 --> 00:17:01,228 ‪有時間思考 282 00:17:01,311 --> 00:17:03,605 ‪我看到你們為我加油 283 00:17:04,523 --> 00:17:05,357 {\an8}‪耶 284 00:17:05,441 --> 00:17:09,903 {\an8}‪電視攝影機、全世界都在看 ‪我突然想通了 285 00:17:09,987 --> 00:17:12,239 ‪我討厭我的人生 286 00:17:13,699 --> 00:17:14,867 ‪天啊 287 00:17:14,950 --> 00:17:16,201 ‪看看我這副德性 288 00:17:16,285 --> 00:17:19,079 ‪一個得謀生的小丑 289 00:17:19,163 --> 00:17:23,250 ‪內臟差點抹在飛機上 290 00:17:23,333 --> 00:17:28,005 ‪就為了一堆渺小的該死喪屍 291 00:17:28,088 --> 00:17:33,218 ‪在我們救世主 ‪從祂聖母的屄被擠出來的前夕 292 00:17:34,219 --> 00:17:37,181 ‪因為我告訴你,羅素維爾的民眾 293 00:17:37,264 --> 00:17:39,516 ‪-耶,羅素維爾 ‪-羅素維爾 294 00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:42,311 ‪我受夠娛樂你們這些笨蛋了 295 00:17:44,146 --> 00:17:46,774 ‪找別的王八蛋填補你們的下午吧 296 00:17:46,857 --> 00:17:48,567 ‪這個鎮醜到爆 297 00:17:48,650 --> 00:17:51,862 ‪女人醜、料理平庸 298 00:17:53,697 --> 00:17:55,824 ‪料理的事他沒說錯 299 00:17:55,908 --> 00:17:58,494 ‪各位,謝謝小巴斯特桑德 300 00:17:59,161 --> 00:18:02,456 ‪-好吧,掌聲… ‪-我之所以願意飛越 301 00:18:02,539 --> 00:18:06,460 ‪是因為這可悲的狗屁穿上西裝開始哭 302 00:18:06,543 --> 00:18:09,546 ‪說他在這個墜機失火的航空公司 303 00:18:09,630 --> 00:18:12,049 ‪會無法升官拍馬屁 304 00:18:12,132 --> 00:18:17,596 ‪對了,我是四分之一切羅基人 ‪所以阿拉希根順便去死 305 00:18:17,679 --> 00:18:19,765 ‪我們為什麼要付錢讓他說這種話? 306 00:18:21,058 --> 00:18:23,352 ‪順道一提,我每到一個地方 307 00:18:23,435 --> 00:18:25,687 ‪都會上起碼一個男人的老婆 308 00:18:25,771 --> 00:18:27,606 ‪在這個鎮也一樣 309 00:18:27,689 --> 00:18:29,358 ‪開心坐車回家吧 310 00:18:42,121 --> 00:18:44,998 ‪祝你聖誕快樂 311 00:18:45,082 --> 00:18:47,793 ‪祝你聖誕快樂 312 00:18:47,876 --> 00:18:50,546 ‪祝你聖誕快樂 313 00:18:50,629 --> 00:18:53,632 ‪新年快樂 314 00:18:53,715 --> 00:18:56,009 ‪我們帶來佳音 315 00:18:56,093 --> 00:18:58,804 ‪給你和你的至親 316 00:18:58,887 --> 00:19:03,267 ‪祝你聖誕快樂 317 00:19:03,350 --> 00:19:05,644 ‪新年快樂 318 00:19:05,727 --> 00:19:07,146 ‪(小殯葬員) 319 00:19:07,229 --> 00:19:08,272 ‪(討厭鬼) 320 00:19:09,439 --> 00:19:12,442 ‪法蘭克,一起來,開你的禮物 321 00:19:14,528 --> 00:19:16,613 ‪有什麼意義? 322 00:19:16,697 --> 00:19:21,577 ‪我沒拿到獎金,還被降職 323 00:19:21,660 --> 00:19:24,413 ‪老天,這是同工半薪 324 00:19:24,496 --> 00:19:27,124 ‪爸,工作沒帶給我快樂 325 00:19:27,207 --> 00:19:30,711 ‪歡迎繼續收看《寇特魯格聖誕特輯》 326 00:19:30,794 --> 00:19:32,754 ‪現在通通別吵 327 00:19:32,838 --> 00:19:35,799 ‪讓我享受人生僅剩的一個寶吧 328 00:19:35,883 --> 00:19:39,303 ‪我幹掉艾斯寇巴一幫人時 ‪我殺了你們的爸爸 329 00:19:39,386 --> 00:19:40,679 ‪把他們殺光 330 00:19:41,263 --> 00:19:42,764 ‪現在輪到你們了 331 00:19:43,557 --> 00:19:45,642 ‪準備吃熱… 332 00:19:46,518 --> 00:19:47,394 ‪軟糖 333 00:19:47,477 --> 00:19:52,316 ‪因為我要買下一座萵苣農場 ‪養育你們,當成親生小孩 334 00:19:52,399 --> 00:19:53,400 ‪聖誕快樂 335 00:19:53,483 --> 00:19:57,529 ‪聽啊,天使高聲唱 336 00:19:57,613 --> 00:19:59,656 ‪全世界都毀了 337 00:19:59,740 --> 00:20:02,201 ‪又是該死一年,讓人更失望 338 00:20:02,284 --> 00:20:04,870 ‪你知道嗎?射殺我吧,寇特 ‪讓我脫離痛苦 339 00:20:04,953 --> 00:20:07,372 ‪你自怨自艾的狗屁夠了 340 00:20:07,456 --> 00:20:08,373 ‪我做了什麼事? 341 00:20:08,457 --> 00:20:10,000 ‪法蘭克墨菲 342 00:20:10,083 --> 00:20:13,253 ‪這一家人在過去幾星期支持你 343 00:20:13,337 --> 00:20:17,424 ‪你滿嘴只有巴斯特桑德 344 00:20:17,507 --> 00:20:19,176 ‪結果事情不成功 345 00:20:19,259 --> 00:20:21,470 ‪現在你怪他害你心情不好 346 00:20:21,553 --> 00:20:24,097 ‪你永遠找得到人怪罪 347 00:20:24,181 --> 00:20:26,934 ‪鮑伯波哥或羅傑鄧巴頓 348 00:20:27,017 --> 00:20:28,894 ‪-諾拉奶奶 ‪-披頭四 349 00:20:28,977 --> 00:20:30,646 ‪強尼尤納斯那一次 350 00:20:30,729 --> 00:20:34,942 ‪比爾,我說過上千次了 ‪那是厄爾莫羅爾的錯 351 00:20:35,025 --> 00:20:38,487 ‪天啊,他們最後才叫尤納斯上場 ‪他差點就退出 352 00:20:38,570 --> 00:20:40,989 ‪該死,如果能讓他早點上場 353 00:20:41,073 --> 00:20:43,659 ‪他們就會贏了,不會輸給喬拿瑪斯 354 00:20:43,742 --> 00:20:46,203 ‪那個穿褲襪的該死混蛋 355 00:20:47,829 --> 00:20:49,665 ‪幹嘛?這是真的 356 00:20:49,748 --> 00:20:52,751 ‪但你最喜歡怪的人是你爸 357 00:20:52,834 --> 00:20:57,756 ‪他不在,但我們在 358 00:20:57,839 --> 00:21:01,969 ‪我們只想要一家人開心過聖誕節 359 00:21:02,052 --> 00:21:04,972 ‪結果你選擇哀怨一整天 360 00:21:05,055 --> 00:21:08,600 ‪這不是我選的,蘇珊,是人生決定的 361 00:21:10,394 --> 00:21:14,439 ‪做得好,法蘭克 ‪你女兒的第一個聖誕節真開心 362 00:21:15,941 --> 00:21:18,360 ‪也許我該去開車兜風 363 00:21:18,443 --> 00:21:20,070 ‪理清思緒 364 00:21:20,153 --> 00:21:21,655 ‪沒人攔你 365 00:21:27,244 --> 00:21:29,037 ‪我本著沈重的心 366 00:21:30,038 --> 00:21:33,834 ‪辭去市長一職 367 00:21:34,835 --> 00:21:35,711 ‪太好了 368 00:21:35,794 --> 00:21:39,798 ‪田詹堤被逮捕,被控同謀謀殺未遂 369 00:21:39,881 --> 00:21:41,758 ‪他也會因收賄遭到起訴 370 00:21:41,842 --> 00:21:46,847 ‪感謝同事占姆傑福茲 ‪提供的爆炸性偷拍影帶 371 00:21:46,930 --> 00:21:48,348 ‪噓 372 00:21:48,432 --> 00:21:50,225 ‪瓦拉奇收費公路停建 373 00:21:50,309 --> 00:21:54,646 ‪與已故工會大佬路賈戈里阿迪 ‪扯上關聯的所有城市工程皆停工 374 00:21:54,730 --> 00:21:57,149 ‪田詹堤的時代結束了 375 00:21:57,232 --> 00:22:01,903 ‪本市從未如此不堪過 376 00:22:01,987 --> 00:22:05,615 ‪-占姆,我似乎記得你… ‪-不,就這樣,現在播報體育新聞 377 00:22:05,699 --> 00:22:08,660 ‪喬吉雅,這裡有個聖誕老人 378 00:22:08,744 --> 00:22:10,579 ‪而且他是黑人 379 00:22:10,662 --> 00:22:12,331 ‪我們得救了 380 00:22:16,293 --> 00:22:21,423 {\an8}‪(田詹堤去死) 381 00:22:24,634 --> 00:22:27,804 ‪這是快樂的季節 382 00:22:27,888 --> 00:22:30,807 ‪去你的 383 00:22:36,438 --> 00:22:39,024 ‪(營業酒吧) 384 00:22:40,609 --> 00:22:42,527 ‪好,也給我一杯純酒 385 00:22:45,447 --> 00:22:47,991 ‪-算我的,瓦特 ‪-謝謝你,迪克 386 00:22:48,075 --> 00:22:50,077 ‪在這個美好的聖誕節早上 387 00:22:50,160 --> 00:22:52,454 ‪你怎麼會瞪著杯底? 388 00:22:52,537 --> 00:22:56,041 ‪我的太太和小孩 ‪不想看到我,那你呢? 389 00:22:56,124 --> 00:22:58,919 ‪我跟孫女玩紙牌輸了 390 00:22:59,002 --> 00:23:01,004 ‪然後叫她去死 391 00:23:05,509 --> 00:23:08,970 ‪再次感謝你替大比爾辦了感人的葬禮 392 00:23:09,054 --> 00:23:10,972 ‪他一定會喜歡 393 00:23:11,056 --> 00:23:13,183 ‪我很高興你喜歡他 394 00:23:13,266 --> 00:23:16,353 ‪但我不想再聽到我一輩子痛恨的人了 395 00:23:16,436 --> 00:23:20,816 ‪他再次闖進我的生活 ‪逼我重新思考一切 396 00:23:20,899 --> 00:23:24,403 ‪就在看來有希望解決時 397 00:23:24,486 --> 00:23:27,823 ‪他卻死了 ‪再給我來個“16號櫃”的狗屁 398 00:23:29,199 --> 00:23:31,493 ‪超讚的巴哈16 399 00:23:32,369 --> 00:23:35,288 ‪-你知道那是什麼? ‪-當然啊 400 00:23:35,372 --> 00:23:39,543 ‪我花了兩個月的時間 ‪想搞清楚那到底是什麼意思 401 00:23:39,626 --> 00:23:41,253 ‪城裡的櫃子可能都被我找遍了 402 00:23:41,336 --> 00:23:44,548 ‪櫃子?不,是巴哈啦 403 00:23:44,631 --> 00:23:46,883 ‪約翰塞巴斯蒂安巴哈 404 00:23:46,967 --> 00:23:48,885 ‪戴娘炮假髮的音樂人 405 00:23:48,969 --> 00:23:52,305 ‪巴哈的《第16號前奏曲與賦格》 406 00:23:52,389 --> 00:23:54,975 ‪那是你爸最喜歡的音樂 407 00:23:58,895 --> 00:24:01,148 ‪他是在跟我說音樂的事? 408 00:24:01,231 --> 00:24:04,526 ‪為什麼?這對他的人生很重要嗎? 409 00:24:04,609 --> 00:24:06,653 ‪那是白宮啤酒的廣告曲 410 00:24:06,736 --> 00:24:09,656 ‪1930年代在電臺常播 411 00:24:09,739 --> 00:24:12,242 ‪來個啤酒,喝個啤酒 412 00:24:12,325 --> 00:24:14,244 ‪要喝啤酒嗎?白宮啤酒 413 00:24:15,120 --> 00:24:17,914 ‪他進來這裡大醉時會唱 414 00:24:17,998 --> 00:24:20,125 ‪很多次在聖誕節 415 00:24:20,208 --> 00:24:22,002 ‪就像你一樣,怎麼樣啊? 416 00:24:22,544 --> 00:24:25,046 ‪他老是說他想在他的葬禮上播放 417 00:24:25,130 --> 00:24:27,007 ‪他說可以讓人發笑 418 00:24:28,508 --> 00:24:33,680 ‪真是抱歉,你以為這有別的意義 419 00:24:34,764 --> 00:24:35,807 ‪太好了 420 00:24:37,309 --> 00:24:38,643 ‪太好了 421 00:24:38,727 --> 00:24:41,396 ‪在他死前能對我說的話那麼多 422 00:24:41,480 --> 00:24:43,857 ‪卻偏偏在點歌 423 00:24:43,940 --> 00:24:45,609 ‪那個自私的混蛋 424 00:24:45,692 --> 00:24:49,488 ‪他不是壞人 ‪他只是不知道怎麼當爸爸 425 00:24:49,571 --> 00:24:53,158 ‪別對自己的孩子耍混蛋有多難? 426 00:24:53,241 --> 00:24:57,120 ‪你聖誕節在這裡喝酒 ‪所以你告訴我啊 427 00:25:10,842 --> 00:25:13,386 ‪(經典古典經典) 428 00:25:17,140 --> 00:25:21,770 ‪(威廉墨菲,1901至1974年) 429 00:25:32,405 --> 00:25:35,242 ‪聖誕快樂,爸,我們到此為止 430 00:25:38,828 --> 00:25:41,623 ‪可惡,麥克老鴨來了 431 00:25:41,706 --> 00:25:44,251 ‪快裝難過 ‪他才不會拿走我們的聖誕禮物 432 00:25:49,881 --> 00:25:52,133 ‪比利,你好嗎,菲利普? 433 00:25:54,928 --> 00:25:59,140 ‪他沒叫我去死,他可能生病了 434 00:25:59,224 --> 00:26:03,395 ‪我覺得他喝醉了 ‪但他喝醉通常會更兇 435 00:26:04,646 --> 00:26:08,483 ‪所以你有想到今天是聖誕節嗎? 436 00:26:09,776 --> 00:26:13,572 ‪-我知道“16號櫃”是什麼意思了 ‪-真的嗎? 437 00:26:13,655 --> 00:26:17,659 ‪意思是我爸媽是 ‪兩個搞上並生下我的瞎咖 438 00:26:17,742 --> 00:26:20,704 ‪就此而已,事情還是有希望 439 00:26:20,787 --> 00:26:21,788 ‪對 440 00:26:22,747 --> 00:26:25,709 ‪蘇,我很抱歉 441 00:26:26,376 --> 00:26:28,795 ‪妳說得對,妳永遠是對的 442 00:26:28,878 --> 00:26:31,881 ‪從今以後,我要聽妳的話 443 00:26:31,965 --> 00:26:35,552 ‪不聽敢死鬼、火大糖果男 444 00:26:36,428 --> 00:26:39,097 ‪神經病空軍飛官、喪禮妓女的話了 445 00:26:39,180 --> 00:26:40,015 ‪這是個開始 446 00:26:40,098 --> 00:26:45,020 ‪現在,可以的話 ‪我想跟家人愉快過聖誕節 447 00:26:45,103 --> 00:26:46,980 ‪我做了豬包毯 448 00:26:47,063 --> 00:26:49,941 ‪搭配你最愛的蔬菜,芥末 449 00:26:50,025 --> 00:26:51,109 ‪天啊,我愛妳 450 00:26:58,074 --> 00:27:00,910 ‪大家,我有話想說 451 00:27:02,120 --> 00:27:04,581 ‪過去這一年,我很難熬 452 00:27:04,664 --> 00:27:07,000 ‪這表示你們更難熬 453 00:27:07,083 --> 00:27:10,712 ‪我今天對自己有所發現 454 00:27:10,795 --> 00:27:12,547 ‪我發現,如果你… 455 00:27:22,307 --> 00:27:23,683 ‪來了 456 00:27:42,369 --> 00:27:45,038 ‪-開動吧 ‪-如果是公司打來呢? 457 00:27:45,121 --> 00:27:46,581 ‪可能有要事 458 00:27:46,665 --> 00:27:48,708 ‪不,這才重要 459 00:27:50,293 --> 00:27:52,629 ‪是他要中風了還是我要中風? 460 00:27:55,006 --> 00:27:56,091 ‪好好說話 461 00:27:57,008 --> 00:27:59,678 ‪告訴妳,蘇,他是小諧星 462 00:27:59,761 --> 00:28:00,929 ‪我也很好笑 463 00:28:01,012 --> 00:28:03,139 ‪對,但外表和味道不算 464 00:28:04,349 --> 00:28:05,725 ‪你死定了 465 00:28:06,267 --> 00:28:10,522 ‪還是要用功讀書,比爾 ‪搞笑不能糊口 466 00:29:05,910 --> 00:29:08,371 ‪字幕翻譯:張倩茜 467 00:29:08,496 --> 00:29:10,832 ‪你弄不到我的,你這個混蛋