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‪NETFLIX 原創影集

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{\an8}‪（魯迪瓦雷、和諧國度）

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‪好，爸，我找到16號櫃了

4
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‪這裡有一大堆智慧

5
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‪你想跟我說什麼？

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‪你好，這是我的新錄音機

7
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‪我今天在蒙哥馬利區買的

8
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‪當時在打折

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‪我也買了毛圈布短褲

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‪褲子很寬鬆舒適

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‪好，快說重點

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‪來聽我的聲音如何

13
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‪我才不是這種聲音
‪我聽起來像邋遢的披頭族

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‪該死的日本爛貨

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‪天啊

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‪今天，我見識到會永遠改變我的事情

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‪我的大便拼出“泰德”的英文字樣

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‪天啊

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{\an8}‪（兵單）

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{\an8}‪（過期）

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{\an8}‪新聞快報

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{\an8}‪我們剛發現舉世最棒的歌手

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{\an8}‪比爾墨菲

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‪“亞巴達巴”，猴子對猩猩說

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‪“亞巴達巴”，猩猩對猴子說

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‪又在扯這個了？

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‪牠們整天只想玩…

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{\an8}‪法蘭克，現在是凌晨兩點

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{\an8}‪你不能上床睡覺嗎？

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{\an8}‪蘇，我爸死時要我找到這些錄音帶

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{\an8}‪我知道其中一卷一定有慈父的建議

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{\an8}‪有什麼箴言能幫助我的人生

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{\an8}‪我敢說勞倫斯維爾克有各種妹

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‪每個晚上都換妹

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‪快開導我啊，你這混蛋

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{\an8}‪法蘭克，我們一家人今天過得很愉快

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{\an8}‪我當初愛上的是打保齡球的法蘭克

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‪晚上磨牙嘟噥說
‪“那個死王八蛋”的法蘭克就不是了

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{\an8}‪你不能就算了嗎？

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{\an8}‪我只知道
‪事情不能就這樣結束，好嗎？

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‪不行

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‪慢慢來吧，好嗎？

43
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‪我的腳味道好怪
‪就像帕馬森起司加毛髮

44
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‪但不是好的毛髮
‪也不是好吃的帕馬森起司

45
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‪你妹和我訂了22日的飛機

46
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‪媽出現在爸的錄音帶裡幹嘛？

47
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‪那是她的答錄機留言

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‪上面說我們要搭“阿拉希根”
‪那是什麼？

49
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‪那是摩希根人現在的稱謂了，媽

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‪這些印第安名稱是怎麼回事？

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‪法蘭克，叫他們改成美國的名稱

52
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‪名稱不歸他負責，媽

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‪他說他是大人物

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‪也許他以前是…

55
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‪帶子沒了

56
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‪找他們來過聖誕節

57
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‪在我喝醉又善感時感覺是大好主意

58
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‪對了，你的老闆也留言了

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‪他要每個人今天早上十點整去上班

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‪我想那是五分鐘後

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‪幹！

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‪小巴斯特桑德轟隆隆朝你過來了

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‪他媽的艾德，星期天叫我進公司

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‪看他加速並且撞毀

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‪-他的彈簧手腳可以拆
‪-我的鑰匙呢？

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‪什麼都攔不了小巴斯特桑德

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‪小巴斯特桑德被攔下來了

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‪天啊，你不能在這房子放東西

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‪繼感恩節慘案後

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‪哈里斯里諾賭場決定不主持
‪巴斯特在12月24日的飛越表演了

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‪在平安夜賭博的可悲賭客
‪這下更可悲了

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‪-該死
‪-爸，你擋住電視了

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‪這是我付的錢，我愛擋就擋

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‪告訴你，再囉唆我就推你的臉撞穿…

75
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‪好，不說這種話了

76
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‪昨天很開心

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‪我愛你們

78
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‪我們再去打保齡球吧

79
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‪該死，把鑰匙給我
‪我要讓你安樂死，王八蛋

80
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‪再說一次，我非常愛你們

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‪我忘了會帶給我平靜的錄音帶了

82
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‪該死

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‪該死的艾德，我的一生

84
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‪我今天思考了一下我的人生

85
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‪太好了，再來點箴言吧，爸
‪你的大便變什麼名字了？

86
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‪在我失去店面後，我就像個行屍走肉

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‪醉生夢死、逃避失敗

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‪但在一年前的今天

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‪1970年6月23日

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‪我開始賣打字機色帶

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‪在那一刻，我的人生又有了目的

92
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‪現在我在工作，我有活下去的理由了

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‪去你的

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‪我有工作，而且很爛
‪你這該死的蠢貨

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‪妳哥凱文會孤獨而終

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‪或許比爾也是

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‪妳在幹嘛？這是一首悲傷的歌

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‪妳不該笑的，妳這寶寶

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‪梅根愛你真是可愛

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‪太好了，因為我需要你照顧她兩小時

101
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‪我要帶比爾跟莫琳去買東西

102
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‪別不高興

103
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‪我得買到
‪諾拉奶奶喜歡的7.5層衛生紙

104
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‪看梅根可以讓你不去想愛麗絲

105
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‪我知道，爸爸叫我給她空間

106
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‪91.4公尺的空間

107
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‪她對你申請了禁制令，會堂也是

108
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‪謝謝，你人真好

109
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‪還有，別接近屠夫，我想他是猶太人

110
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{\an8}‪（瓦拉奇收費公路）

111
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‪媽咪，我想爸爸的朋友
‪跟沙發融為一體了

112
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‪別擔心，他今天要走了
‪否則就是妳爸走

113
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‪喬吉雅，我們不能見死不救

114
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‪黑幫在追殺他，他是人啊

115
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‪再次謝謝你的款待

116
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‪你們不會注意到我在這裡的

117
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‪好，穿好一隻襪子了

118
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‪現在難的來了

119
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‪左腳

120
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‪等你們從教堂回來，他就會走了

121
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‪該死

122
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‪（新阿拉希根）

123
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‪該死

124
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‪抱歉，艾德

125
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‪沒關係，法蘭克

126
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‪我們全都靜靜等你到來

127
00:07:36,581 --> 00:07:38,749
‪我召集大家是要宣布

128
00:07:38,833 --> 00:07:43,045
‪很不幸，自從合併後
‪公司的利潤下降了

129
00:07:43,129 --> 00:07:46,591
‪公司的新形象廣告

130
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‪對業績產生負面的影響

131
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‪一起竄升，在空中相遇

132
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‪永不落地

133
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‪阿拉希根

134
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‪我們火紅了

135
00:08:06,360 --> 00:08:07,987
‪小朋友免費飛行

136
00:08:10,781 --> 00:08:15,203
‪回想起來，讓史丹利庫柏先生

137
00:08:15,286 --> 00:08:16,829
‪全面自由發揮是個錯誤

138
00:08:16,913 --> 00:08:21,250
‪結果是我們今年領不到聖誕獎金了

139
00:08:21,334 --> 00:08:23,377
‪不！拜託

140
00:08:23,461 --> 00:08:27,381
‪愛德，你幹嘛在星期天早上
‪把我們專程叫來說這種事？

141
00:08:27,465 --> 00:08:31,219
‪我不希望有人開始花獎金

142
00:08:31,302 --> 00:08:33,804
‪猜猜現在誰是足球明星了？

143
00:08:34,847 --> 00:08:35,806
‪幹嘛？

144
00:08:38,893 --> 00:08:40,978
‪我喜歡這種時節

145
00:08:41,062 --> 00:08:44,273
‪燈光、樹、耶穌誕生場景

146
00:08:44,357 --> 00:08:45,191
‪（沙威奇父子）

147
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‪酷，耶穌寶寶在餵肚子餓的鳥

148
00:08:49,153 --> 00:08:53,449
‪好，你們進去買個東西送爸爸吧

149
00:08:53,533 --> 00:08:55,451
‪去成人紙尿褲店？

150
00:08:55,535 --> 00:08:56,494
‪（失禁鐵道）

151
00:08:56,577 --> 00:08:59,288
‪別惹麻煩，我得…

152
00:08:59,372 --> 00:09:02,124
‪跟路易斯舅舅道歉
‪在感恩節騙了他的事？

153
00:09:02,208 --> 00:09:03,918
‪（虎盧，空手道館）

154
00:09:04,001 --> 00:09:06,212
‪我不會說那是說謊

155
00:09:06,295 --> 00:09:07,672
‪這是說謊

156
00:09:10,508 --> 00:09:11,968
‪感謝

157
00:09:12,051 --> 00:09:14,554
‪感謝

158
00:09:15,930 --> 00:09:17,848
‪他媽的

159
00:09:17,932 --> 00:09:20,184
‪他媽的

160
00:09:20,268 --> 00:09:21,102
‪（孟森鞋店）

161
00:09:21,185 --> 00:09:24,939
‪我們去買個便宜的東西給爸爸
‪把剩下的錢分了買糖果吧

162
00:09:27,108 --> 00:09:28,693
‪晚點見，魯蛇

163
00:09:28,776 --> 00:09:29,986
‪嘿，傑西

164
00:09:30,069 --> 00:09:32,822
‪比利，很高興見到你

165
00:09:32,905 --> 00:09:36,742
‪你想吼一下車子，讓我去撒泡尿嗎？

166
00:09:37,368 --> 00:09:38,202
‪當然想

167
00:09:38,286 --> 00:09:39,829
‪天啊

168
00:09:42,206 --> 00:09:44,458
‪尿尿

169
00:09:46,377 --> 00:09:48,588
‪我懷疑你的神性

170
00:09:48,671 --> 00:09:51,924
‪但這並不代表烏鴉可以吃你的臉

171
00:09:52,008 --> 00:09:55,553
‪希望這隻邪惡之眼
‪能讓你安息，耶穌寶寶

172
00:09:55,636 --> 00:09:58,306
‪拜託，你是要我們怎麼過聖誕節？

173
00:09:58,389 --> 00:09:59,807
‪我完蛋了

174
00:09:59,890 --> 00:10:03,019
‪我買漢堡會留收據，卻沒留這件的？

175
00:10:03,102 --> 00:10:04,895
‪這是純水豚毛

176
00:10:04,979 --> 00:10:07,773
‪各位，我有好消息

177
00:10:07,857 --> 00:10:11,152
‪我把你們的正當抱怨呈報管理階層

178
00:10:11,235 --> 00:10:13,988
‪他們說誰能想出點子

179
00:10:14,071 --> 00:10:16,532
‪修復公司的形象並增加利潤

180
00:10:16,616 --> 00:10:20,036
‪就能得到全額的聖誕節獎金加升職

181
00:10:20,119 --> 00:10:23,456
‪所以就算成功
‪我們也只有一個人能好過？

182
00:10:23,539 --> 00:10:24,915
‪其餘的就可以去死了？

183
00:10:24,999 --> 00:10:28,169
‪套句甘地的不朽名言，“是”

184
00:10:28,252 --> 00:10:29,920
‪-太扯了
‪-什麼？

185
00:10:30,004 --> 00:10:31,964
‪我不知道你要我說多少次

186
00:10:32,048 --> 00:10:34,133
‪但我很抱歉我騙了你

187
00:10:34,216 --> 00:10:36,969
‪你能原諒我嗎？

188
00:10:37,053 --> 00:10:40,056
‪或起碼我跟你說話時理我一下？

189
00:10:40,139 --> 00:10:41,849
‪妳真的傷我很深

190
00:10:41,932 --> 00:10:43,768
‪那只是因為我愛你

191
00:10:43,851 --> 00:10:47,730
‪我也希望家人再言歸於好

192
00:10:47,813 --> 00:10:50,858
‪我不想再過15年不相往來的日子

193
00:10:50,941 --> 00:10:52,985
‪我很抱歉…

194
00:10:53,069 --> 00:10:54,945
‪好，蘇，別說了

195
00:10:55,029 --> 00:10:56,155
‪你原諒我了？

196
00:10:56,238 --> 00:10:57,073
‪一點點

197
00:10:57,156 --> 00:11:00,368
‪但主要是因為
‪我的下一堂課再過五分鐘就開始了

198
00:11:00,451 --> 00:11:02,161
‪我需要妳滾蛋

199
00:11:02,244 --> 00:11:03,120
‪我接受

200
00:11:03,204 --> 00:11:06,040
‪感恩節的事我也很抱歉

201
00:11:06,123 --> 00:11:08,376
‪我不該叫法蘭克禿頭混蛋的

202
00:11:08,459 --> 00:11:11,420
‪最讓他難過的是說他禿頭

203
00:11:11,504 --> 00:11:12,630
‪他不知道

204
00:11:13,255 --> 00:11:16,801
‪你想來我們家過聖誕節嗎？

205
00:11:16,884 --> 00:11:20,721
‪我們可以喝蛋酒，再吵一場

206
00:11:20,805 --> 00:11:23,015
‪好啊，我會去你們家過聖誕節

207
00:11:23,099 --> 00:11:25,017
‪太棒了

208
00:11:25,101 --> 00:11:28,729
‪蘇，妳跟我的老師上床？
‪法蘭克知道嗎？

209
00:11:28,813 --> 00:11:31,190
‪還是我們要像禿頭的事一樣噤聲？

210
00:11:31,273 --> 00:11:32,692
‪維克，她是我妹妹

211
00:11:32,775 --> 00:11:34,819
‪盧老師是妳哥？

212
00:11:34,902 --> 00:11:36,320
‪天啊

213
00:11:36,404 --> 00:11:38,197
‪我就知道你不是日本人

214
00:11:38,280 --> 00:11:40,116
‪等等，你是那種白人日本人

215
00:11:40,199 --> 00:11:41,909
‪就像《檀島警騎》一樣嗎？

216
00:11:41,992 --> 00:11:43,202
‪維克是我的鄰居

217
00:11:43,285 --> 00:11:47,331
‪你是蘇跟我常提起的毒蟲

218
00:11:47,415 --> 00:11:51,585
‪而妳是很會養小孩的辣媽

219
00:11:51,669 --> 00:11:53,129
‪謝謝你，維克

220
00:11:53,212 --> 00:11:54,130
‪妳實至名歸

221
00:11:54,213 --> 00:11:55,840
‪妹子，妳知道妳很棒

222
00:11:55,923 --> 00:11:58,509
‪如果我是餅乾，而妳是肉汁
‪我就浸妳了

223
00:11:58,592 --> 00:11:59,427
‪嗯

224
00:11:59,510 --> 00:12:01,846
‪她在教我和朋友養小孩

225
00:12:01,929 --> 00:12:03,681
‪她是育嬰老師

226
00:12:03,764 --> 00:12:05,307
‪我很高興妳找到妳的路

227
00:12:05,391 --> 00:12:09,019
‪我覺得很好玩
‪但我覺得那不是一條路

228
00:12:09,103 --> 00:12:11,021
‪告訴妳，蘇，妳應該創業

229
00:12:11,105 --> 00:12:12,565
‪妳可以賺大錢

230
00:12:12,648 --> 00:12:14,775
‪像虎男一樣賺錢，懂嗎？

231
00:12:14,859 --> 00:12:16,861
‪我不知道，我要在哪裡做？

232
00:12:16,944 --> 00:12:18,070
‪這裡如何？

233
00:12:18,154 --> 00:12:21,157
‪這裡很寬敞、有鋪墊子

234
00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:23,409
‪我在週一與週三下午也沒課

235
00:12:23,492 --> 00:12:27,955
‪我的朋友也都沒有正職工作
‪就這麼辦

236
00:12:28,038 --> 00:12:30,750
‪那是一個女士殺害她丈夫的凶宅

237
00:12:30,833 --> 00:12:31,667
‪（沒有鬧鬼）

238
00:12:31,751 --> 00:12:33,586
‪那是古莫先生的家

239
00:12:37,131 --> 00:12:39,925
‪如果妳的內褲不見了，就是他幹的

240
00:12:40,009 --> 00:12:43,137
‪還有，如果妳失踪了，那就是他幹的

241
00:12:43,220 --> 00:12:46,932
‪妳在這個社區長大會很開心

242
00:12:48,768 --> 00:12:52,271
‪看來我們今天都過得很開心

243
00:12:52,354 --> 00:12:54,356
‪我讓耶穌寶寶有眼睛了

244
00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:56,776
‪我也把草從梅根的耳朵裡拿出來了

245
00:12:56,859 --> 00:13:00,112
‪好吧，我不要聽，享受聖誕氣氛

246
00:13:00,196 --> 00:13:01,906
‪法蘭克，我們剛剛過了最…

247
00:13:01,989 --> 00:13:04,116
‪好，飛機輪盤

248
00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:06,452
‪你到了之後才知道自己要去哪裡

249
00:13:06,535 --> 00:13:09,705
‪不，保證清醒的機師

250
00:13:09,789 --> 00:13:11,540
‪不，我絕對過不了工會那關

251
00:13:11,624 --> 00:13:14,752
‪快點，法蘭克，快想

252
00:13:14,835 --> 00:13:16,003
‪法蘭克，你還好嗎？

253
00:13:16,086 --> 00:13:18,923
‪我看起來像還好嗎？航空公司快垮了

254
00:13:19,006 --> 00:13:20,257
‪糟糕

255
00:13:20,341 --> 00:13:22,384
‪我想領到聖誕節獎金

256
00:13:22,468 --> 00:13:26,013
‪就得想出高明的點子挽救一切

257
00:13:26,096 --> 00:13:29,683
‪這個混蛋也說工作很棒

258
00:13:29,767 --> 00:13:33,729
‪小巴斯特桑德誓言回歸

259
00:13:33,813 --> 00:13:35,564
‪給我關掉，我在想事情

260
00:13:35,648 --> 00:13:38,234
‪如果我房間有電視，我就不會吵你了

261
00:13:38,317 --> 00:13:41,362
‪等我十分鐘後踹你屁股
‪你就不會吵我了

262
00:13:41,445 --> 00:13:43,697
‪哈拉斯里諾很沒用

263
00:13:43,781 --> 00:13:47,493
‪我的最後一次飛越被近四千萬人看到

264
00:13:47,576 --> 00:13:51,455
‪查爾斯布朗森親臨每個班機
‪不對，不合理

265
00:13:51,539 --> 00:13:53,916
‪我準備在平安夜去

266
00:13:53,999 --> 00:13:57,753
‪電視台的合約已經簽好了

267
00:13:57,837 --> 00:14:02,633
‪我會去你的小鎮，架什麼我就跳什麼

268
00:14:02,716 --> 00:14:03,801
‪隨你高興

269
00:14:03,884 --> 00:14:05,219
‪天啊

270
00:14:05,302 --> 00:14:07,763
‪我就是要騎

271
00:14:08,556 --> 00:14:09,807
‪我需要嗎啡

272
00:14:09,890 --> 00:14:11,892
‪我的腿有知覺

273
00:14:11,976 --> 00:14:12,810
‪就是這樣

274
00:14:12,893 --> 00:14:14,937
‪我想到了

275
00:14:15,020 --> 00:14:16,939
‪我會拿到獎金了

276
00:14:17,022 --> 00:14:20,985
‪蘇，我要拯救阿拉希根
‪我剛剛也拯救了聖誕節

277
00:14:21,068 --> 00:14:23,737
‪反正我們聖誕節會過得很開心

278
00:14:23,821 --> 00:14:25,364
‪只跟家人一起過？

279
00:14:25,447 --> 00:14:28,117
‪那樣就爛透了，蘇，但我挽救回來了

280
00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:31,120
‪而幸福的關鍵確實來自我的工作

281
00:14:31,203 --> 00:14:33,205
‪我爸說得對

282
00:14:33,289 --> 00:14:35,165
‪他是好男人

283
00:14:35,249 --> 00:14:38,252
‪過來，你這死混蛋

284
00:14:38,335 --> 00:14:40,045
‪也許他說得都對

285
00:14:40,129 --> 00:14:42,464
‪我要去拉屎，看看會拼出什麼來

286
00:14:46,385 --> 00:14:49,430
‪艾德，我想到提高利潤的大計了

287
00:14:49,513 --> 00:14:50,890
‪我洗耳恭聽

288
00:14:50,973 --> 00:14:54,560
‪如果是真的，我就是怪物了

289
00:14:54,643 --> 00:14:58,105
‪我有兩隻耳朵，但它們都在聽你說話

290
00:14:58,188 --> 00:14:59,857
‪很好，聽好了

291
00:14:59,940 --> 00:15:03,152
‪我們請小巴斯特桑德

292
00:15:03,235 --> 00:15:07,781
‪飛越我們的一架波音747飛機
‪電視實況轉播

293
00:15:07,865 --> 00:15:10,117
‪這是替阿拉希根免費打廣告

294
00:15:10,200 --> 00:15:12,119
‪在平安夜，五千萬美國人

295
00:15:12,202 --> 00:15:14,914
‪都會大聊這家航空有多讚

296
00:15:14,997 --> 00:15:17,291
‪不會提到可怕的空中對撞

297
00:15:17,374 --> 00:15:20,419
‪除非我們在這當中有空中對撞

298
00:15:20,502 --> 00:15:23,839
‪但發生機率是一半一半

299
00:15:25,883 --> 00:15:28,594
‪我收了，好主意，墨菲

300
00:15:30,179 --> 00:15:32,640
‪今年聖誕節會很快樂

301
00:15:32,723 --> 00:15:34,808
‪叮叮噹，唱著聖誕頌歌

302
00:15:34,892 --> 00:15:37,686
‪耶穌是王，耶

303
00:15:37,770 --> 00:15:41,065
‪愛與喜樂奔向你

304
00:15:41,148 --> 00:15:44,401
‪還有快樂的聖誕節

305
00:15:44,485 --> 00:15:51,283
‪願上帝保佑你
‪許你一個響叮噹的新年

306
00:15:51,367 --> 00:15:57,164
‪狂歡作樂，因為聖誕佳節已來到

307
00:15:57,247 --> 00:15:59,333
‪耶，開心點

308
00:15:59,416 --> 00:16:02,962
‪因為聖誕佳節

309
00:16:03,045 --> 00:16:07,633
‪已來到

310
00:16:07,716 --> 00:16:10,678
‪小心，聖尼古拉回來了

311
00:16:10,761 --> 00:16:12,137
‪傑克

312
00:16:12,221 --> 00:16:14,640
‪（蘇墨菲，笑笑扭扭）

313
00:16:14,723 --> 00:16:19,061
‪在球上彈跳很舒服
‪也讓你們有時間看電視

314
00:16:19,144 --> 00:16:22,940
‪我們用袋鼠凱文的另一首歌作結吧

315
00:16:23,023 --> 00:16:25,192
‪這是我為你們寫的快樂之歌

316
00:16:25,275 --> 00:16:29,363
‪叫做《寶貝棒棒》，希望大家喜歡

317
00:16:31,615 --> 00:16:32,866
‪寶貝棒棒

318
00:16:33,492 --> 00:16:34,994
‪寶貝棒棒

319
00:16:35,077 --> 00:16:36,620
‪你讓我看見什麼？

320
00:16:38,789 --> 00:16:40,749
‪謝謝，寶寶班

321
00:16:41,625 --> 00:16:46,213
‪雲朵、紫色香蕉和樹上的雙頭猴

322
00:16:51,802 --> 00:16:54,013
‪（康齊通克，始於1935年）

323
00:16:54,096 --> 00:16:55,472
‪可惡

324
00:16:55,556 --> 00:16:59,184
‪我正要過去補糖果棒

325
00:16:59,268 --> 00:17:01,895
‪這下我要怎麼處理這一堆貨？

326
00:17:01,979 --> 00:17:05,482
‪那該死的市長這麼做
‪只是為了報復我對抗他

327
00:17:05,566 --> 00:17:07,109
‪誰叫你這麼做的？

328
00:17:07,192 --> 00:17:08,944
‪你們啊，你們投票給我

329
00:17:09,028 --> 00:17:10,237
‪我不投票了

330
00:17:10,320 --> 00:17:11,655
‪他們就是這樣抓到你的

331
00:17:11,739 --> 00:17:16,160
‪他們會把你關起來，拿你做實驗

332
00:17:16,243 --> 00:17:17,411
‪天啊，你在發神經

333
00:17:17,494 --> 00:17:20,164
‪就是說啊，他們讓我染上梅毒

334
00:17:20,247 --> 00:17:22,374
‪我們該拿市長怎麼辦？

335
00:17:22,458 --> 00:17:23,792
‪我有個計畫

336
00:17:25,919 --> 00:17:27,921
‪天啊，他是真的？

337
00:17:28,005 --> 00:17:30,716
‪我還以為是卡絲媽媽的鬼魂

338
00:17:30,799 --> 00:17:32,134
‪常有人這麼說

339
00:17:32,217 --> 00:17:33,761
‪我想幫你

340
00:17:33,844 --> 00:17:35,721
‪你也可以幫我

341
00:17:35,804 --> 00:17:37,806
‪我們有共同的敵人

342
00:17:37,890 --> 00:17:41,560
‪就像餐廳的包廂，桌子不能動

343
00:17:41,643 --> 00:17:45,481
‪市長和黑幫串通想殺我

344
00:17:45,564 --> 00:17:48,817
‪串通？這種話可別亂說

345
00:17:48,901 --> 00:17:50,944
‪他們真的串通

346
00:17:51,028 --> 00:17:55,407
‪但我們聯手就能把他們斷開

347
00:17:55,491 --> 00:17:57,951
‪就像花生醬和果凍

348
00:17:58,035 --> 00:18:00,204
‪或花生醬和培根

349
00:18:00,287 --> 00:18:02,247
‪或花生醬和腸子

350
00:18:02,331 --> 00:18:03,749
‪或花生醬…

351
00:18:03,832 --> 00:18:07,628
‪快阻止我，以免我又開餐廳

352
00:18:07,711 --> 00:18:08,629
‪什麼？

353
00:18:08,712 --> 00:18:09,755
‪（卡斯柏酒廊）

354
00:18:09,838 --> 00:18:12,841
‪天啊，我就是在那裡結婚的

355
00:18:12,925 --> 00:18:15,719
‪這有什麼意義？我們贏不了

356
00:18:15,803 --> 00:18:19,681
‪抱歉，波哥，但我不跟你玩了
‪我也不想抗爭了

357
00:18:19,765 --> 00:18:23,227
‪我要帶小孩去購物中心看聖誕老人

358
00:18:23,310 --> 00:18:28,732
‪他也是幫不了我的胖子
‪但起碼他會發拐杖糖

359
00:18:30,067 --> 00:18:32,986
‪花生醬和拐杖糖

360
00:18:38,826 --> 00:18:41,286
‪我們今年聖誕比去年好過很多

361
00:18:41,370 --> 00:18:44,248
‪多虧了我的好點子，我會領到獎金

362
00:18:44,331 --> 00:18:46,416
‪大家也報名上蘇的課

363
00:18:46,500 --> 00:18:49,545
‪真是不可思議
‪一堆父母搞不清楚狀況

364
00:18:49,628 --> 00:18:52,214
‪這可能是我有一番作為的開端

365
00:18:52,297 --> 00:18:55,259
‪這都要感謝路易斯讓我用他的道館

366
00:18:55,342 --> 00:18:56,510
‪路易斯在哪裡？

367
00:18:56,593 --> 00:18:59,054
‪他在那邊，被霍爾特把

368
00:18:59,138 --> 00:19:01,932
‪空手道老師有太太嗎？

369
00:19:02,015 --> 00:19:02,850
‪我是同性戀

370
00:19:04,351 --> 00:19:06,186
‪連在聖誕節也是？

371
00:19:06,270 --> 00:19:08,272
‪在聖誕節尤其是

372
00:19:09,064 --> 00:19:11,233
‪-嘿，伊芙
‪-嗨

373
00:19:11,316 --> 00:19:16,572
‪聽著，我想去裡面上廁所

374
00:19:16,655 --> 00:19:18,073
‪太遲了

375
00:19:18,157 --> 00:19:19,658
‪要怎樣才可以？

376
00:19:19,741 --> 00:19:21,076
‪聖誕節出現奇蹟

377
00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:23,954
‪我很努力了，伊芙，別放棄我

378
00:19:24,037 --> 00:19:25,664
‪（法蘭克著名的聖誕潘趣）

379
00:19:25,747 --> 00:19:28,876
‪法蘭克，派對真好玩
‪你的朋友都好棒

380
00:19:28,959 --> 00:19:29,793
‪謝了，媽

381
00:19:29,877 --> 00:19:34,840
‪你竟然能把他們全都塞進這間小房子

382
00:19:34,923 --> 00:19:39,261
‪別酸法蘭克的小房子，媽
‪妳家也不是泰姬瑪哈陵

383
00:19:39,344 --> 00:19:42,556
‪要是妳找到男人結婚就不會那麼擠了

384
00:19:42,639 --> 00:19:44,057
‪我在努力了

385
00:19:44,141 --> 00:19:48,562
‪對啦，努力個屁
‪妳已經一年沒約會了，給我加把勁

386
00:19:48,645 --> 00:19:52,065
{\an8}‪（羅斯蘭市立監獄
‪現正出售馬桶香料酒）

387
00:19:52,149 --> 00:19:56,111
‪你們這些痞子是因為犯法才進來的

388
00:19:56,195 --> 00:20:00,282
‪乖乖聽話
‪也許你們就會像比爾墨菲一樣成功

389
00:20:00,365 --> 00:20:03,327
‪你們也可以繼續使壞

390
00:20:03,410 --> 00:20:08,415
‪跟這些罪犯一起墮落

391
00:20:11,460 --> 00:20:14,171
‪敢惹阮阮就死定了

392
00:20:14,254 --> 00:20:17,090
‪不相信我嗎？去問老公

393
00:20:17,174 --> 00:20:19,968
‪對喔，沒辦法問，我殺了他

394
00:20:22,095 --> 00:20:24,848
‪你尿在褲子裡嗎，大個子？

395
00:20:24,932 --> 00:20:27,893
‪等我逼你辦我的案子就知道了

396
00:20:27,976 --> 00:20:31,396
‪“消失的棒棒糖怪案”

397
00:20:31,480 --> 00:20:33,482
‪在你的屁股裡

398
00:20:34,024 --> 00:20:37,694
‪帶著禮物，我們遠道而來

399
00:20:37,778 --> 00:20:41,698
‪田野和噴泉、荒野和高山

400
00:20:41,782 --> 00:20:44,868
‪跟隨彼方的星星

401
00:20:48,288 --> 00:20:52,209
‪奇蹟之星、夜晚之星

402
00:20:52,292 --> 00:20:55,837
‪美麗燦爛之星

403
00:20:55,921 --> 00:20:59,258
‪他讓我發毛
‪但我聽到蛋蛋起雞皮疙搭了

404
00:21:00,217 --> 00:21:06,640
‪引導我們找到祢的完美之光

405
00:21:06,723 --> 00:21:08,892
‪這是我老公

406
00:21:08,976 --> 00:21:11,603
‪我愛你，華特巴奈特

407
00:21:11,687 --> 00:21:13,855
‪我愛妳，瑪莉瑪格麗特

408
00:21:15,148 --> 00:21:16,358
‪什麼？

409
00:21:16,441 --> 00:21:18,068
‪真好玩，爸爸

410
00:21:18,151 --> 00:21:19,903
‪為什麼聖誕老人是白人？

411
00:21:19,987 --> 00:21:23,448
‪因為購物中心在橋的另一邊，寶貝

412
00:21:23,991 --> 00:21:24,825
‪可惡

413
00:21:26,410 --> 00:21:28,745
‪乖乖坐好別說話，親愛的

414
00:21:32,833 --> 00:21:34,293
‪晚安，警官

415
00:21:34,376 --> 00:21:36,962
‪你離家很遠，你迷路了？

416
00:21:37,045 --> 00:21:40,007
‪沒有，我們只是
‪去購物中心看聖誕老人

417
00:21:40,090 --> 00:21:42,134
‪對了，我是羅斯福市議員

418
00:21:42,217 --> 00:21:43,844
‪羅斯福市議員

419
00:21:43,927 --> 00:21:46,221
‪那是什麼
‪某種艾靈頓公爵的鬼東西？

420
00:21:46,305 --> 00:21:50,642
‪不，我是市議員，我代表第12選區

421
00:21:50,726 --> 00:21:54,479
‪這是第一選區，市議員

422
00:21:54,563 --> 00:21:58,066
‪拜託，我們真的要這樣嗎？

423
00:21:58,150 --> 00:22:00,444
‪要下車嗎，大個子？

424
00:22:04,364 --> 00:22:06,116
‪手放在後車廂上

425
00:22:06,199 --> 00:22:10,412
‪我清楚程序，就像過去15次一樣

426
00:22:10,495 --> 00:22:11,913
‪這邊有個不一樣的地方

427
00:22:11,997 --> 00:22:13,623
‪去坐在人行道上

428
00:22:29,598 --> 00:22:33,852
‪田詹堤市長要我們代為問候你

429
00:22:33,935 --> 00:22:35,645
‪對，我在市區

430
00:22:37,606 --> 00:22:39,483
‪（田詹堤市長傳票）

431
00:22:46,865 --> 00:22:48,158
‪沒關係，親愛的

432
00:22:48,992 --> 00:22:50,535
‪我們回家吧

433
00:22:56,708 --> 00:22:58,752
‪田詹堤會愛死我們

434
00:22:58,835 --> 00:23:01,254
‪比爾，就是這樣才能當上隊長

435
00:23:01,338 --> 00:23:03,256
‪好，我們送比利回家吧

436
00:23:03,340 --> 00:23:05,425
‪他今晚過聖誕節夠歡樂了

437
00:23:18,355 --> 00:23:21,441
‪我們穿上色彩鮮豔的服裝

438
00:23:24,403 --> 00:23:26,446
‪高聲歌唱古老的聖誕頌歌

439
00:23:26,530 --> 00:23:27,489
‪老天

440
00:23:28,824 --> 00:23:30,659
‪我該死的人生

441
00:23:31,743 --> 00:23:35,372
‪平安夜

442
00:23:35,455 --> 00:23:39,251
‪聖善夜

443
00:23:39,334 --> 00:23:42,003
‪萬籟中

444
00:23:42,087 --> 00:23:45,048
‪我一個男人都釣不到

445
00:23:45,132 --> 00:23:47,801
‪我不懂為什麼，妳很漂亮

446
00:23:47,884 --> 00:23:50,095
‪我幾乎看不到妳的鬍子

447
00:23:51,096 --> 00:23:52,389
‪謝謝

448
00:23:52,472 --> 00:23:53,932
‪…孩

449
00:23:54,558 --> 00:23:57,686
‪聖…屄

450
00:23:59,980 --> 00:24:03,275
‪她在馬槽生孩子卻沒聲音？

451
00:24:03,358 --> 00:24:05,318
‪這一定是男人寫的

452
00:24:05,402 --> 00:24:07,821
‪沒錯，我們沒有同理心

453
00:24:08,530 --> 00:24:10,532
‪蘇，妳看，快八點了

454
00:24:10,615 --> 00:24:13,785
‪我要趕去機場
‪弄巴斯特桑德明天騎車飛越的事

455
00:24:13,869 --> 00:24:16,037
‪我知道，你告訴過我，沒關係

456
00:24:16,121 --> 00:24:17,539
‪真的嗎？

457
00:24:17,622 --> 00:24:20,208
‪還是這又是妳說“沒關係”

458
00:24:20,292 --> 00:24:22,711
‪但等我回家後，卻不讓我上床睡覺？

459
00:24:22,794 --> 00:24:25,630
‪法蘭克，我說真的，我明白

460
00:24:25,714 --> 00:24:28,216
‪明天是你的大日子，去吧

461
00:24:29,759 --> 00:24:32,262
‪你知道嗎？

462
00:24:32,345 --> 00:24:37,184
‪我說了，我不知道，但我很想知道

463
00:24:37,267 --> 00:24:40,812
‪各位，我很抱歉，但我得去機場

464
00:24:40,896 --> 00:24:44,274
‪你們的老爸要去見巴斯特桑德

465
00:24:44,357 --> 00:24:46,943
‪桑德？他酷到不行

466
00:24:47,027 --> 00:24:51,114
‪你媽大老遠從加州過來
‪你要把她丟下？

467
00:24:51,198 --> 00:24:54,826
‪我想機場花了一整天把你生下

468
00:24:54,910 --> 00:24:58,371
‪被你的大頭搞到四度撕裂

469
00:24:58,455 --> 00:25:01,374
‪才四度？妳很輕鬆

470
00:25:01,458 --> 00:25:04,085
‪我害我媽咪昏迷了

471
00:25:04,169 --> 00:25:05,962
‪媽，我得走了，我是大咖

472
00:25:06,046 --> 00:25:08,840
‪你現在的行徑跟你爸一樣

473
00:25:08,924 --> 00:25:13,803
‪他以前也會在聖誕節跑掉
‪因為他是“大咖”

474
00:25:13,887 --> 00:25:15,764
‪“小兒麻痺王”

475
00:25:15,847 --> 00:25:17,140
‪我有小兒麻痺

476
00:25:17,224 --> 00:25:18,725
‪別把爸爸扯進來

477
00:25:18,808 --> 00:25:21,561
‪我不會任憑妳打擊他的

478
00:25:21,645 --> 00:25:25,440
‪你痛恨你爸
‪你忘了他用拐杖打你嗎？

479
00:25:25,524 --> 00:25:28,318
‪就那麼一次，剩下的時候他都用皮帶

480
00:25:28,401 --> 00:25:29,778
‪你幹嘛替他說話？

481
00:25:29,861 --> 00:25:33,406
‪好吧，他對我真的很壞

482
00:25:33,490 --> 00:25:37,744
‪但他在臨終前
‪試著解決我們之間的問題

483
00:25:37,827 --> 00:25:39,412
‪他終於在照顧我了

484
00:25:39,496 --> 00:25:42,624
‪他告訴我，男人的工作會賦予他目的

485
00:25:42,707 --> 00:25:44,793
‪所以我現在要去機場了

486
00:25:44,876 --> 00:25:46,920
‪那就是我的目的，媽

487
00:25:47,003 --> 00:25:51,258
‪你要在一年第三神聖的夜晚
‪把小孩丟下？

488
00:25:51,341 --> 00:25:52,717
‪-我不在乎
‪-我們想要他去

489
00:25:52,801 --> 00:25:54,094
‪對，他說炸就炸

490
00:25:54,177 --> 00:25:55,929
‪看到了嗎，媽？他們懂我

491
00:25:57,013 --> 00:25:58,598
‪他媽的聖誕快樂

492
00:26:01,142 --> 00:26:03,853
‪我很高興我來了

493
00:26:07,190 --> 00:26:08,900
‪天啊

494
00:26:08,984 --> 00:26:13,029
‪法蘭克，你永遠猜不到
‪我剛剛對自己的發現

495
00:26:13,113 --> 00:26:15,824
‪我認識妳時就大概猜到了，下車

496
00:26:15,907 --> 00:26:19,619
‪你知道鴿子最棒的部位是哪裡吧？

497
00:26:19,703 --> 00:26:24,457
‪你再說一次“皮”
‪我就把你切開，鑽進裡頭睡

498
00:26:24,541 --> 00:26:27,085
‪-波哥
‪-瓊西？

499
00:26:27,168 --> 00:26:30,380
‪我想起我為什麼想試著
‪讓這個小鎮變得更好了

500
00:26:30,463 --> 00:26:32,632
‪我想打敗那該死的市長

501
00:26:32,716 --> 00:26:34,884
‪瓊西，我就知道你會醒過來

502
00:26:34,968 --> 00:26:37,345
‪你醒得正是時候

503
00:26:37,429 --> 00:26:39,848
‪我們明天報仇

504
00:26:39,931 --> 00:26:41,808
‪我都計畫好了

505
00:26:41,891 --> 00:26:44,144
‪算我一分，我們要做什麼？

506
00:26:44,227 --> 00:26:47,856
‪明天，等巴斯特桑德飛越飛機時

507
00:26:47,939 --> 00:26:51,234
‪我們就對他的全國電視觀眾

508
00:26:51,318 --> 00:26:56,823
‪端出擊垮市長跟賈戈里阿迪的證據

509
00:26:56,906 --> 00:26:59,784
‪太棒了，誰的證據？

510
00:26:59,868 --> 00:27:02,245
‪我是占姆傑福茲，我有獨家新聞

511
00:27:02,329 --> 00:27:03,747
‪還有腺鼠疫

512
00:27:03,830 --> 00:27:06,499
‪該死

513
00:27:08,585 --> 00:27:11,504
{\an8}‪（紀念馬克威爾默
‪編劇、演員、執行製作人）

514
00:27:11,588 --> 00:27:14,674
{\an8}‪愛與喜樂奔向你

515
00:27:14,758 --> 00:27:18,386
‪還有快樂的聖誕節

516
00:27:18,470 --> 00:27:24,934
{\an8}‪願上帝保佑你
‪許你一個響叮噹的新年

517
00:27:25,018 --> 00:27:30,565
{\an8}‪狂歡作樂，因為聖誕佳節已來到

518
00:27:31,316 --> 00:27:36,946
{\an8}‪耶，開心點，因為聖誕佳節

519
00:27:37,030 --> 00:27:41,534
‪已來到

520
00:27:41,618 --> 00:27:44,079
‪翻譯：張倩茜

521
00:27:44,162 --> 00:27:46,539
{\an8}‪小心，聖尼古拉回來了

522
00:27:46,623 --> 00:27:48,333
‪傑克