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‪NETFLIX 原創影集

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‪對，太糟了，沒有藉口

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‪不，我們沒有那樣教孩子

4
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‪我向你保證，他們慘了

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‪謝謝

6
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‪你們這些小混蛋
‪有誰想猜猜是誰打來？

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‪墓園？

8
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‪再猜一次

9
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‪以色列總統？

10
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‪打錯號碼？

11
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‪是一個九歲小孩的媽媽

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‪她想知道我的臉上
‪為什麼有大雞雞投影

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‪天啊，我錯過了可能讓我開心的事

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‪他們在爸爸的辦公室做的

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‪雞雞

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‪你們夠了

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‪-對不起，媽媽
‪-好

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‪那是怎樣？

19
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‪你們幹嘛怕她？

20
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‪每次出點小事鬼吼鬼叫的都是我

21
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‪你們三個都走歪了

22
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‪但我們今天要導正你們

23
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‪莫琳，帶著妳的邪惡之眼跟我來

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‪比爾，你跟著我

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‪誰要導正我？狗嗎？

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‪對啦，你想得美

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‪快上我的糖果車，我們要下地獄

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‪爸，不要，拜託，這傢伙嚇死我了

29
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‪你以為你沒嚇到我嗎
‪你這古怪的長髮混蛋？

30
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‪上車

31
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‪快學流浪漢追火車跑起來

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‪因為我的煞車洩得比我的老二還慘

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‪你為什麼讓我去紐奧良
‪法蘭克墨菲？

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{\an8}‪（兵單）

35
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‪（過期）

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‪快點，我的巧克力都要融化成屎了

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‪走吧，謎片隊長

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‪我們要去哪裡？

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‪我要帶妳去教堂

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{\an8}‪派特神父會跟妳聊妳那些有害的迷戀

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{\an8}‪喜歡怪力亂神

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‪魔王阿斯莫德解救我吧…

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‪不要再講惡魔了

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‪（莫琳）

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‪（沙威奇父子店鋪）

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{\an8}‪-爸爸同意嗎？
‪-妳最好相信

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{\an8}‪但他說教堂是58分鐘鬼扯
‪加兩分鐘徹底搜查

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{\an8}‪那時候他女兒還沒去墓園亂轉

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{\an8}‪想讓死者復活

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‪妳做的事很糟糕

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‪派特神父會好好找妳聊聊

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{\an8}‪嘿！祂的名字是耶穌

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{\an8}‪當我們打噴嚏

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{\an8}‪我們說上帝保佑你

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{\an8}‪這樣惡魔才不會抓到你

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{\an8}‪披頭四說他們比耶穌還偉大

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{\an8}‪所以上帝就用小野洋子來懲罰他們

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{\an8}‪嘿！這個神會讓你淹死在海裡

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{\an8}‪各位

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{\an8}‪謝謝你花時間跟莫琳談

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{\an8}‪我最愛的就是

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{\an8}‪跟年輕人談論上帝

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‪還有炸魷魚

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‪但只要圈圈，不要那些扭動的部分

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‪我去長椅那邊等

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‪妳，聽好了

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{\an8}‪現在，莫琳

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{\an8}‪妳媽告訴我妳昨晚在墓園做了什麼
‪讓我心情非常不好

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‪巫術是罪惡，女巫很邪惡

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‪上帝藉由讓她們的鼻頭長疣
‪詛咒她們有飛行的能力，來告訴我們

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‪妳懂嗎？

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‪我想是吧

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‪現在是聖誕季節

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‪妳應該想著聖嬰耶穌

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‪祂來到人間
‪藉由死在十字架上，解救人的罪惡

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‪所以聖誕節講的是死亡？

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‪不，那是復活節

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‪其實那講的是酷刑與謀殺

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‪所以我們才加了兔子跟巧克力蛋

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‪消除緊張

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‪為了記住耶穌在十字架上犧牲

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‪我們會吃他的肉喝他的血，行聖餐禮

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‪你喝血？

84
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‪那只是我們打折買的酒

85
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‪不是真的血

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‪明明就是

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‪不是

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‪每次彌撒，你都說那是基督的血

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‪這是比喻，蠢蛋

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‪酒是透過變體論化為基督的血

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‪這不合理啊

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‪沒有要合理，這是宗教

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‪妳必須相信神父的話

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‪就像布朗神父告訴我
‪他每逢週日只是在調整我的袍子

95
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‪布朗神父被調去阿布奎基了

96
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‪我們覺得人口少的州
‪或許能幫他抑制…欲求

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‪莫琳，我們回到耶穌誕生的奇蹟吧

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‪我們要忽略這不是基督的真血嗎？

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‪那是本教會的基礎

100
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‪就像耶穌是抹大拉的馬利亞
‪以無原罪始胎的方式生下的

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‪你是說馬利亞

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‪我就是這麼說的，抹大拉的馬利亞

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‪不對，耶穌的媽媽是聖母馬利亞

104
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‪抹大拉的馬利亞隨時能玩雞雞
‪神父，對嗎？

105
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‪撇掉鹹濕的語言，沒錯

106
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‪但無原罪始胎講的是
‪馬利亞不帶罪惡出生

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‪不是透過聖靈孕育耶穌

108
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‪保留童貞

109
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‪這套鬼說法是哪來的？

110
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‪很簡單

111
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‪上帝是我們所有人的父親

112
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‪所以祂是馬利亞的父親
‪也是耶穌的父親

113
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‪而耶穌是聖三一的一部分

114
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‪表示祂是神，也是神的兒子

115
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‪所以耶穌跟自己上床？

116
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‪沒人跟人私通

117
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‪上帝在精神上讓馬利亞懷孕
‪祂也是她的父親

118
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‪而她的兒子耶穌也是她的父親
‪與他自己的父親

119
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‪聽起來像《唐人街》的劇情

120
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‪不是《唐人街》，這很美

121
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‪把衣服拉下來

122
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‪重要的是不管事情經過如何

123
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‪耶穌在聖誕節出生，是我們的救世主

124
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‪我讀到祂其實是在四月出生

125
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‪-妳閉嘴
‪-祂才不是

126
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‪魔童

127
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‪我根本就不想來

128
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‪是我媽逼我的

129
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‪我只是以為
‪如果我能跟我爺爺的鬼魂說話

130
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‪我爸就會開心
‪這樣我就不用當共同公主了

131
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‪我不想當馬蒂艾倫

132
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‪好了，馬蒂艾倫也不想

133
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‪親愛的

134
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‪派特神父，發生什麼事了？

135
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‪我告訴妳發生什麼事了

136
00:07:12,974 --> 00:07:18,229
‪一如既往，天主教會被翻虛偽的舊帳

137
00:07:18,312 --> 00:07:20,815
‪但沒有人質疑登陸月球

138
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‪因為那是傑克的夢想，是卡美洛

139
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‪同時間，那個背不好的混蛋

140
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‪在池子裡搞婊子，能上就上

141
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‪卻沒人質疑

142
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‪誰在乎啊

143
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‪我要去散步

144
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‪我感覺好多了，媽咪
‪我們可以回家了嗎？

145
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‪我想我們不能留在這裡

146
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‪快點

147
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‪（香檳戰車，販賣服務）

148
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‪不要再搞惡魔那套了

149
00:07:52,305 --> 00:07:54,474
‪走吧，謎片隊長

150
00:07:54,557 --> 00:07:57,685
‪那是意外，我不知道那是猥褻片

151
00:07:57,768 --> 00:08:00,480
‪那傢伙對著牆壁的洞要戳多久

152
00:08:00,563 --> 00:08:01,814
‪你才會發現？

153
00:08:01,898 --> 00:08:03,774
‪（比爾）

154
00:08:03,858 --> 00:08:08,654
‪我要去破罵那些把你帶壞的警察朋友

155
00:08:08,738 --> 00:08:11,741
‪你是他們的責任，他們沒做好

156
00:08:11,824 --> 00:08:14,827
‪男人有工作就得完成
‪否則他就不是男人

157
00:08:15,453 --> 00:08:16,913
‪這是什麼鬼東西？

158
00:08:16,996 --> 00:08:20,750
‪我的報紙，我得送報，那是我的工作

159
00:08:21,959 --> 00:08:23,336
‪該死

160
00:08:23,419 --> 00:08:26,547
‪號外，號外，快來讀

161
00:08:26,631 --> 00:08:29,800
‪“衰到爆的愛家男人繼續衰下去”

162
00:08:37,058 --> 00:08:38,226
‪（漢迪曼特餐）

163
00:08:41,979 --> 00:08:44,815
‪(羅素維爾警局)

164
00:08:44,899 --> 00:08:49,570
‪爸，我給你錢
‪你別在警察面前害我丟臉

165
00:08:49,654 --> 00:08:52,406
‪什麼錢？我替你工作賺的？

166
00:08:52,490 --> 00:08:55,618
‪你都送錯了
‪你在我的路線上錯過了20家

167
00:08:55,701 --> 00:08:59,121
‪太慘了
‪他們今天沒辦法讀“馬馬杜”了？

168
00:08:59,205 --> 00:09:00,706
‪我幫他們趕上進度

169
00:09:00,790 --> 00:09:03,543
‪牠跳進浴缸，搞得亂七八糟

170
00:09:03,626 --> 00:09:07,713
‪我告訴你，如果那卡通收容所歸我管
‪我就讓牠第一個安樂死

171
00:09:07,797 --> 00:09:09,757
‪牠和自作聰明的史努比都是

172
00:09:09,840 --> 00:09:12,051
‪以為牠當上機師就比我強

173
00:09:12,134 --> 00:09:14,512
‪你不能飛狗窩，你這白痴

174
00:09:16,389 --> 00:09:17,765
‪好，我們進去吧

175
00:09:20,184 --> 00:09:22,937
‪帶壞我小孩的
‪就是你們兩個神經病嗎？

176
00:09:23,020 --> 00:09:27,692
‪我們都知道猥褻片的事
‪你太太說個不停

177
00:09:27,775 --> 00:09:30,278
‪天啊，她不是我太太

178
00:09:30,361 --> 00:09:33,531
‪法蘭克，很高興有你來幫忙

179
00:09:33,614 --> 00:09:35,449
‪菲利普，把耳朵遮住

180
00:09:35,533 --> 00:09:40,162
‪我兒子看到了可怕的事
‪只有安東尼才會說的事

181
00:09:40,246 --> 00:09:42,540
‪吃那噁心的鮑魚吧

182
00:09:42,623 --> 00:09:45,751
‪我們說過不會再說了，親愛的

183
00:09:45,835 --> 00:09:48,546
‪-姊姊想要大老二
‪-吃個糖果吧

184
00:09:50,506 --> 00:09:54,885
‪好，我想我們解決了
‪謝謝你們過來，聖誕快樂

185
00:09:54,969 --> 00:09:57,054
‪我們什麼都沒解決

186
00:09:57,138 --> 00:10:00,725
‪我把我兒子交給你照顧
‪你們卻給他看猥褻片

187
00:10:00,808 --> 00:10:03,144
‪片子在菲利普那裡，我是拿到皮條帽

188
00:10:03,227 --> 00:10:05,104
‪我才不在乎你…皮條帽？

189
00:10:05,187 --> 00:10:07,398
‪-有子彈孔
‪-隨便啦

190
00:10:07,481 --> 00:10:10,735
‪重點是你們對不起這幾個男生
‪你們打算怎麼做？

191
00:10:10,818 --> 00:10:12,445
‪你又打算怎麼做？

192
00:10:12,528 --> 00:10:15,031
‪我在處理了

193
00:10:15,114 --> 00:10:18,159
‪我正在罵你，因為你沒做好你的工作

194
00:10:18,242 --> 00:10:22,622
‪你的工作是
‪確保你的孩子以後能堂堂正正

195
00:10:22,705 --> 00:10:27,293
‪顯然你沒做到，否則他就不會被逮捕
‪送到我們這裡來

196
00:10:28,044 --> 00:10:32,173
‪你是他的父親，拜託你拿出樣子來

197
00:10:36,177 --> 00:10:38,596
‪你跟那些警察到此為止
‪再也不准你回去

198
00:10:38,679 --> 00:10:39,639
‪好

199
00:10:40,431 --> 00:10:43,601
‪-我們可以回家了嗎？
‪-我們就是要回家

200
00:10:43,684 --> 00:10:46,395
‪那我們幹嘛又經過我們的街了？

201
00:10:48,397 --> 00:10:49,398
‪（前一晚）

202
00:10:49,482 --> 00:10:52,610
‪妳不去維克家，好好看小孩
‪就不會發生這種事了

203
00:10:52,693 --> 00:10:56,656
‪這房子有怎樣嗎？
‪妳為什麼就是待不住？

204
00:10:56,739 --> 00:10:59,450
‪因為蘇，我實在想不透

205
00:10:59,533 --> 00:11:02,244
‪你才搞失蹤，開車到處跑

206
00:11:02,328 --> 00:11:04,997
‪想找合的蠢鑰匙孔

207
00:11:05,081 --> 00:11:06,832
‪一點都不蠢

208
00:11:06,916 --> 00:11:10,336
‪這個無生命物體對我來說意義重大

209
00:11:10,419 --> 00:11:13,339
‪這下妳爽了，我沒找到鑰匙孔

210
00:11:13,422 --> 00:11:14,882
‪-我不玩了
‪-很好

211
00:11:14,965 --> 00:11:17,426
‪我明天會立刻帶比爾去局裡

212
00:11:17,510 --> 00:11:19,261
‪訓誡那些警察一頓

213
00:11:19,345 --> 00:11:23,349
‪然後我覺得你該跟比爾談談性事了

214
00:11:23,432 --> 00:11:25,726
‪我不知道有沒有必要

215
00:11:25,810 --> 00:11:30,106
‪法蘭克，他今晚看的那部電影
‪可能會讓他受創一輩子

216
00:11:30,189 --> 00:11:33,442
‪他得知道性愛的意義不是這樣

217
00:11:33,526 --> 00:11:35,027
‪是嗎？

218
00:11:35,111 --> 00:11:37,530
‪我不知道你為什麼這麼大驚小怪

219
00:11:37,613 --> 00:11:39,448
‪告訴他你跟凱文說的話

220
00:11:39,532 --> 00:11:42,284
‪對，我說的話…

221
00:11:42,368 --> 00:11:44,829
‪你沒告訴過凱文性的二三事？

222
00:11:44,912 --> 00:11:47,957
‪我當時忙著養他，蘇珊

223
00:11:48,958 --> 00:11:51,502
‪天啊，我不知道該說什麼

224
00:11:51,585 --> 00:11:54,880
‪哪有那麼難，你爸是怎麼跟你說的？

225
00:11:54,964 --> 00:11:57,341
‪女人是惡魔，千萬別摸自己

226
00:11:57,425 --> 00:12:00,386
‪別煩我了，把該死的活動扳手拿來

227
00:12:00,469 --> 00:12:01,971
‪否則我拿它打你

228
00:12:02,054 --> 00:12:03,764
‪很健康

229
00:12:03,848 --> 00:12:06,976
‪這是你的責任，你是他的父親

230
00:12:07,059 --> 00:12:10,604
‪-我還是個好爸爸
‪-所以不要讓他失望

231
00:12:12,606 --> 00:12:15,609
‪-爸，你心髒病發嗎？
‪-我也希望是

232
00:12:17,236 --> 00:12:19,363
‪天啊，來吧

233
00:12:31,584 --> 00:12:32,585
‪所以…

234
00:12:35,337 --> 00:12:38,799
‪我有件事想跟你說，比爾

235
00:12:38,883 --> 00:12:39,842
‪威廉

236
00:12:39,925 --> 00:12:43,345
‪記得幾年前你問我那些狗在幹嘛

237
00:12:43,429 --> 00:12:45,890
‪我說一隻狗在背另一隻狗嗎？

238
00:12:45,973 --> 00:12:47,141
‪不記得

239
00:12:47,224 --> 00:12:49,769
‪好，那我們去市區時

240
00:12:49,852 --> 00:12:52,563
‪你看到有兩個嬉皮在公園裡“摔角”？

241
00:12:52,646 --> 00:12:54,273
‪你在說什麼？

242
00:12:54,356 --> 00:12:56,275
‪好，聽著

243
00:12:56,358 --> 00:13:01,030
‪人長大後，身體會想做一些事

244
00:13:01,113 --> 00:13:02,698
‪就像會想吃東西

245
00:13:02,782 --> 00:13:04,992
‪肚子餓沒有錯

246
00:13:05,075 --> 00:13:09,955
‪身體說想吃東西是很自然的事

247
00:13:10,039 --> 00:13:11,957
‪人長大後

248
00:13:12,041 --> 00:13:15,169
‪會想在不同的時候大吃特吃

249
00:13:15,252 --> 00:13:17,588
‪洗澡的時候

250
00:13:17,671 --> 00:13:21,008
‪你趴睡醒來的時候

251
00:13:21,091 --> 00:13:23,260
‪看到防曬乳廣告看板的時候

252
00:13:23,344 --> 00:13:26,055
‪-我不餓
‪-飢餓只是個比喻

253
00:13:26,138 --> 00:13:28,974
‪-什麼的比喻？
‪-我不知道了

254
00:13:29,558 --> 00:13:31,560
‪聽著，等我一下，好嗎？

255
00:13:33,187 --> 00:13:36,023
‪陰道是…不對

256
00:13:38,484 --> 00:13:41,403
‪女人的鮑魚是…

257
00:13:41,487 --> 00:13:43,781
‪找不到沒關係，男人都找不到

258
00:13:43,864 --> 00:13:45,533
‪天啊，它埋在很裡面

259
00:13:49,495 --> 00:13:50,955
‪你懂嗎？

260
00:13:51,038 --> 00:13:54,458
‪這是男人的傢伙跟女人那裡

261
00:13:54,542 --> 00:13:57,795
‪最後，看到吸管上的小開口嗎？

262
00:13:58,546 --> 00:14:01,340
‪老天，把你的老二拿出來搞清楚吧

263
00:14:01,423 --> 00:14:04,802
‪爸，沒關係，你不用麻煩

264
00:14:04,885 --> 00:14:07,096
‪我得教，我是你爸…

265
00:14:07,179 --> 00:14:10,182
‪真的不用，我知道這讓你很緊張

266
00:14:10,266 --> 00:14:13,602
‪你不必告訴我這些事，我已經知道了

267
00:14:13,686 --> 00:14:14,603
‪不，你不知道

268
00:14:14,687 --> 00:14:17,940
‪那部電影不是真實的情形
‪真正的人會做這種吸管和蓋子的事

269
00:14:18,023 --> 00:14:19,859
‪-不，我知道
‪-你是怎麼知道的？

270
00:14:19,942 --> 00:14:21,569
‪我就是知道，好嗎？

271
00:14:21,652 --> 00:14:25,406
‪我近距離看人做過

272
00:14:25,489 --> 00:14:27,783
‪-你到底在說什麼？
‪-沒事

273
00:14:27,867 --> 00:14:30,661
‪不，別說“沒事”，快點說

274
00:14:30,744 --> 00:14:33,747
‪-算了吧
‪-告訴我

275
00:14:35,583 --> 00:14:39,336
‪去年那天晚上
‪我在桌上吐得到處都是

276
00:14:39,420 --> 00:14:43,382
‪我吐是因為我躲在床底下
‪那時你跟媽在…

277
00:14:46,135 --> 00:14:47,261
‪不

278
00:14:49,430 --> 00:14:53,267
‪天啊，不

279
00:14:57,813 --> 00:15:02,776
‪我不管你這輩子要做什麼

280
00:15:02,860 --> 00:15:06,071
‪只要你一個字都不跟你媽提

281
00:15:06,155 --> 00:15:08,449
‪好嗎？她為了你們這些小孩
‪已經去掉半條命了

282
00:15:08,532 --> 00:15:11,160
‪這會讓她死掉，聽到了嗎？

283
00:15:11,243 --> 00:15:12,620
‪好

284
00:15:12,703 --> 00:15:14,330
‪我還能當警察嗎？

285
00:15:14,413 --> 00:15:17,625
‪除非你答應逮捕我，讓我判死刑

286
00:15:22,338 --> 00:15:26,467
‪快點，我的巧克力都融化成屎了

287
00:15:28,844 --> 00:15:31,347
‪史莫基，記得我在九月認識你時…

288
00:15:31,430 --> 00:15:34,850
‪叫我黑神

289
00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:36,477
‪是的，黑神

290
00:15:36,560 --> 00:15:39,063
‪我要叫你賴瑞

291
00:15:40,147 --> 00:15:41,065
‪（賴瑞）

292
00:15:43,567 --> 00:15:44,860
‪紐巴呢？

293
00:15:44,944 --> 00:15:46,153
‪你是說賴瑞嗎？

294
00:15:46,236 --> 00:15:49,365
‪對，他決定離開史莫基回學校去

295
00:15:49,448 --> 00:15:52,076
‪那裡會讓他的腦袋塞滿書本的知識

296
00:15:52,159 --> 00:15:54,495
‪圖書館是用來在水槽洗襪子的

297
00:15:54,578 --> 00:15:57,414
‪我聽說你花了一堆時間

298
00:15:57,498 --> 00:15:59,541
‪為了某個平庸的白女人哭
‪是怎麼回事？

299
00:15:59,625 --> 00:16:01,293
‪她叫愛莉絲

300
00:16:01,377 --> 00:16:05,255
‪閉嘴，不用回答，混蛋

301
00:16:05,339 --> 00:16:08,634
‪墨菲家老是拿一堆狗屁問題來煩我

302
00:16:08,717 --> 00:16:12,471
‪“我爸死了，還留下一把神秘鑰匙”

303
00:16:12,554 --> 00:16:14,723
‪“有人把我甩了”

304
00:16:14,807 --> 00:16:18,018
‪“艾美在學校話劇中扮演主角”

305
00:16:18,602 --> 00:16:21,563
‪你們才不懂真正的問題

306
00:16:21,647 --> 00:16:26,276
‪今天早上，我的名下有14塊的零錢

307
00:16:26,360 --> 00:16:30,823
‪我的耳朵裡有一隻蟋蟀
‪我的腳快保不住了

308
00:16:30,906 --> 00:16:33,993
‪不是糖尿病的關係，是因為賭博

309
00:16:34,076 --> 00:16:37,204
‪可笑的是他們，我的腳壞死好幾年了

310
00:16:37,287 --> 00:16:38,539
‪糖尿病的關係

311
00:16:38,622 --> 00:16:41,959
‪所以別提你的爛問題，清楚嗎？

312
00:16:42,042 --> 00:16:43,669
‪清楚，黑神

313
00:16:43,752 --> 00:16:47,256
‪你太閒了，才會想你那些狗屁

314
00:16:47,339 --> 00:16:48,590
‪到今天為止

315
00:16:48,674 --> 00:16:52,636
‪現在，接下來九小時
‪跟一次尿尿不給薪

316
00:16:52,720 --> 00:16:54,054
‪我會讓你屈服

317
00:16:54,138 --> 00:16:56,223
‪等你搬一萬個口香糖

318
00:16:56,306 --> 00:16:58,559
‪你就沒空想女生了

319
00:17:00,644 --> 00:17:03,647
‪我不知道，她是最完美的女孩

320
00:17:03,731 --> 00:17:06,900
‪她讓我覺得開心，她喜歡我的背心

321
00:17:06,984 --> 00:17:09,945
‪她啟發我寫出最棒的音樂

322
00:17:10,904 --> 00:17:12,322
‪我為此寫了一首歌

323
00:17:13,532 --> 00:17:17,828
‪愛麗絲，有一千個理由

324
00:17:17,911 --> 00:17:20,748
‪讓我永遠忘不了妳

325
00:17:20,831 --> 00:17:22,291
‪一，頭髮

326
00:17:23,042 --> 00:17:25,377
‪二，臉蛋

327
00:17:25,461 --> 00:17:28,964
‪三，咪咪

328
00:17:29,048 --> 00:17:31,216
‪四，奶頭

329
00:17:32,301 --> 00:17:33,385
‪怎麼樣？

330
00:17:34,053 --> 00:17:36,013
‪別問了，你呢？

331
00:17:36,096 --> 00:17:37,181
‪一樣

332
00:17:38,015 --> 00:17:41,685
‪514，妳的手肘凹

333
00:17:41,769 --> 00:17:44,313
‪515…

334
00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:49,026
‪凱文，對不起

335
00:17:49,943 --> 00:17:52,321
‪這個世界只有痛苦

336
00:17:52,404 --> 00:17:54,740
‪誰都不該受這種苦

337
00:17:54,823 --> 00:17:58,118
‪我居然還在製造更多寶寶

338
00:17:59,036 --> 00:18:00,954
‪我是禽獸

339
00:18:05,667 --> 00:18:07,127
‪他是好聽眾

340
00:18:09,129 --> 00:18:13,258
‪天啊，誰知道陪伴孩子會累成這樣？

341
00:18:15,010 --> 00:18:18,388
‪我不知道該怎麼辦，法蘭克…
‪你在做什麼？

342
00:18:18,472 --> 00:18:21,100
‪-沒事，看床
‪-床怎麼了？

343
00:18:21,183 --> 00:18:25,354
‪它往下掉了
‪也許我們該把行李放在下面

344
00:18:25,437 --> 00:18:29,149
‪弄個帶刺鐵網、陷阱
‪找東西占滿整個空間

345
00:18:29,233 --> 00:18:31,151
‪-你還好嗎？
‪-不，我不好

346
00:18:31,235 --> 00:18:33,403
‪該死的孩子們把我累死了

347
00:18:33,487 --> 00:18:36,949
‪-法蘭克，他們展露人性了
‪-對，我不喜歡

348
00:18:37,032 --> 00:18:40,160
‪-那我們現在該怎麼辦？
‪-我們可以開始喝更多

349
00:18:40,244 --> 00:18:44,957
‪說真的，法蘭克，我沒輒了
‪我們該怎麼辦？

350
00:18:45,040 --> 00:18:46,250
‪我不知道

351
00:18:46,333 --> 00:18:50,587
‪天啊，我們把孩子交給教會
‪警方跟一個鬼吼的黑人

352
00:18:50,671 --> 00:18:52,131
‪我們盡力了

353
00:18:53,298 --> 00:18:57,803
‪我們可以來個好活動？

354
00:18:57,886 --> 00:19:01,265
‪-他們會以為沒事了
‪-法蘭克，他們是

355
00:19:02,933 --> 00:19:03,851
‪（墨菲家）

356
00:19:08,438 --> 00:19:09,565
‪該死

357
00:19:09,648 --> 00:19:11,567
‪該死的保齡球

358
00:19:11,650 --> 00:19:12,943
‪不錯

359
00:19:13,026 --> 00:19:15,028
‪好，來看看大家的表現

360
00:19:15,112 --> 00:19:17,197
‪蘇，妳有142分

361
00:19:17,281 --> 00:19:21,493
‪爸爸打出高分228，謝謝大家

362
00:19:22,286 --> 00:19:25,164
‪比爾60分，莫琳61分

363
00:19:25,247 --> 00:19:26,123
‪凱文

364
00:19:26,915 --> 00:19:27,749
‪零分

365
00:19:28,500 --> 00:19:31,587
‪你跟比爾爺爺平手，而他死了

366
00:19:31,670 --> 00:19:34,631
‪我見過沒有手臂的盲人還打得更好

367
00:19:34,715 --> 00:19:37,467
‪對，他們不像我一樣心裡痛苦

368
00:19:37,551 --> 00:19:38,594
‪愛麗絲

369
00:19:38,677 --> 00:19:41,013
‪-凱文沒有女朋友
‪-拜託摸我的雞雞

370
00:19:41,096 --> 00:19:41,930
‪閉嘴

371
00:19:42,014 --> 00:19:46,351
‪好了，你們兩個別煩凱文
‪他很痛苦，好嗎？

372
00:19:46,435 --> 00:19:48,770
‪你們是他的家人，拿出樣子來

373
00:19:50,606 --> 00:19:53,859
‪好了，打新的一局吧
‪莫琳，妳來帶頭

374
00:19:53,942 --> 00:19:56,612
‪-我可以去遊戲室玩嗎？
‪-我也可以嗎？

375
00:19:56,695 --> 00:19:58,488
‪他們有很酷的新電玩

376
00:19:58,572 --> 00:20:00,490
‪好吧，拿去

377
00:20:00,574 --> 00:20:04,453
‪很高興我大撒1塊5
‪租鞋子讓你們穿去遊樂場玩

378
00:20:04,536 --> 00:20:07,372
‪我跟著去，確保他們不會再犯法

379
00:20:07,456 --> 00:20:08,457
‪好

380
00:20:09,958 --> 00:20:12,544
‪-謝謝你剛剛挺我
‪-我是你爸

381
00:20:12,628 --> 00:20:15,756
‪對，謝謝，我還得打保齡球嗎？

382
00:20:15,839 --> 00:20:19,301
‪對，現在來看看
‪我們能否戰勝你的零分

383
00:20:19,384 --> 00:20:22,930
‪你要把保險套從機器裡拿出來嗎？

384
00:20:23,013 --> 00:20:27,768
‪對，它們可能有問題，不知道為什麼

385
00:20:27,851 --> 00:20:30,604
‪嘿，你有在裡面買套子嗎？

386
00:20:30,687 --> 00:20:32,439
‪還給我，你不想要的

387
00:20:32,522 --> 00:20:35,275
‪-那是蟋蟀聲嗎？
‪-我只聽得到蟋蟀聲

388
00:20:40,239 --> 00:20:43,659
‪-這樣有分嗎？
‪-你害我輸掉一百塊

389
00:20:43,742 --> 00:20:48,038
‪抱歉，兄弟，他第一次打保齡球
‪平時是白癡，這件事不會再發生了

390
00:20:48,121 --> 00:20:49,289
‪多謝了

391
00:20:49,373 --> 00:20:50,958
‪我剛剛救了你一命

392
00:20:51,041 --> 00:20:52,918
‪你需要重一點的球，等一下

393
00:20:57,381 --> 00:21:01,218
‪（大比爾，法蘭克）

394
00:21:01,301 --> 00:21:04,596
‪用這顆，一定有全倒的潛力

395
00:21:05,889 --> 00:21:08,267
‪這顆球其實來自…

396
00:21:08,350 --> 00:21:10,602
‪那個架子，上面有一堆

397
00:21:14,690 --> 00:21:18,443
‪我打倒角落那根粉紅瓶了

398
00:21:18,527 --> 00:21:20,654
‪沒錯，做得好，小子

399
00:21:20,737 --> 00:21:24,741
‪打倒一瓶可能比全倒還難吧？

400
00:21:24,825 --> 00:21:26,868
‪對啊

401
00:21:28,370 --> 00:21:30,914
‪-這場比賽有什麼意義？
‪-你要製造點點

402
00:21:30,998 --> 00:21:33,834
‪-太棒了
‪-我在努力專心

403
00:21:33,917 --> 00:21:35,669
‪我得到一個免費的點

404
00:21:35,752 --> 00:21:38,005
‪哇，她做了好多點

405
00:21:38,088 --> 00:21:40,882
‪告訴你，未來是個奇蹟

406
00:21:40,966 --> 00:21:42,759
‪我的孩子隨便都贏

407
00:21:44,136 --> 00:21:46,638
‪我想全倒還不錯

408
00:21:46,722 --> 00:21:48,974
‪對，誰說你數學不好？

409
00:21:52,686 --> 00:21:54,980
‪-什麼？
‪-沒事

410
00:21:55,063 --> 00:21:59,318
‪聽著，你還好嗎？凱文還好嗎？

411
00:21:59,401 --> 00:22:01,862
‪爸，每次我們試著談心

412
00:22:01,945 --> 00:22:03,739
‪都會吵架

413
00:22:03,822 --> 00:22:06,867
‪我知道會，但那是因為我們很像

414
00:22:08,201 --> 00:22:10,120
‪我知道，爛透了

415
00:22:12,539 --> 00:22:16,918
‪聽著，我做不好是因為我爸害了我

416
00:22:17,002 --> 00:22:19,046
‪但我不希望你做不好

417
00:22:19,129 --> 00:22:22,382
‪你沒說過這種話

418
00:22:22,466 --> 00:22:26,720
‪我知道
‪當爸爸會不想承認自己也是凡人

419
00:22:26,803 --> 00:22:30,891
‪我知道你們把我當成超級…

420
00:22:30,974 --> 00:22:32,517
‪-反派
‪-什麼？

421
00:22:32,601 --> 00:22:33,560
‪沒事

422
00:22:33,643 --> 00:22:36,772
‪我不希望我們像我跟我爸一樣

423
00:22:36,855 --> 00:22:40,025
‪然後放任歲月流逝，來不及補救

424
00:22:40,108 --> 00:22:42,986
‪所以我偶爾會關心你

425
00:22:43,070 --> 00:22:45,781
‪我知道你因為愛麗絲的事很難過

426
00:22:45,864 --> 00:22:47,657
‪只有在我想到她的時候

427
00:22:47,741 --> 00:22:50,827
‪其他的任何時候也是

428
00:22:51,495 --> 00:22:53,997
‪忘掉她並不容易

429
00:22:54,081 --> 00:22:55,624
‪對，我看得出來

430
00:22:55,707 --> 00:22:58,168
‪抱歉我一開始不明白

431
00:22:58,251 --> 00:22:59,836
‪我以為那只是小狗般懞懂的早戀

432
00:22:59,920 --> 00:23:02,839
‪爸，我和愛麗絲是成狗的愛

433
00:23:02,923 --> 00:23:04,132
‪我知道

434
00:23:04,216 --> 00:23:06,885
‪我們做的事會讓小狗炸掉

435
00:23:06,968 --> 00:23:08,095
‪我知道了

436
00:23:09,513 --> 00:23:11,431
‪凱文，這或許會讓你驚訝

437
00:23:11,515 --> 00:23:14,017
‪但你不是世上第一個有這種感覺的人

438
00:23:14,101 --> 00:23:18,063
‪我在你這年紀的時候
‪瘋狂愛上一個金髮辣妹

439
00:23:18,146 --> 00:23:21,400
‪就算我為她癡狂，她還是甩了我

440
00:23:21,483 --> 00:23:22,401
‪媽甩了你？

441
00:23:22,484 --> 00:23:26,154
‪不，我不是在說媽媽
‪她是菲莉絲希柏曼

442
00:23:26,238 --> 00:23:28,824
‪好噁，你在媽媽之前交過女友？

443
00:23:29,866 --> 00:23:32,536
‪-她漂亮嗎？
‪-她美翻了

444
00:23:32,619 --> 00:23:34,287
‪美到沒話說

445
00:23:37,124 --> 00:23:39,876
‪沒有你媽美，但沒錯

446
00:23:39,960 --> 00:23:43,380
‪總之，在她跟我分手後，我慘得要命

447
00:23:43,463 --> 00:23:45,590
‪我以為沒有她我會死

448
00:23:45,674 --> 00:23:50,595
‪我想盡辦法挽回她
‪結果她開始跟傑克卓斯基交往

449
00:23:50,679 --> 00:23:52,973
‪後來他們結婚搬到羅德島去了

450
00:23:53,056 --> 00:23:56,101
‪但過了一陣子，我釋懷了

451
00:23:57,185 --> 00:23:59,729
‪然後我認識你媽，菲莉絲，接招吧

452
00:23:59,813 --> 00:24:02,107
‪然後你就和媽媽一直在一起？

453
00:24:02,190 --> 00:24:04,067
‪不，我們分分合合了一陣子

454
00:24:04,151 --> 00:24:06,111
‪在1958年大吵了一架

455
00:24:06,194 --> 00:24:09,448
‪那時我在申請飛行學校
‪她大學還沒畢業

456
00:24:09,531 --> 00:24:10,824
‪我們短暫分手

457
00:24:10,907 --> 00:24:12,951
‪但我們花了點時間冷靜一下

458
00:24:13,034 --> 00:24:16,204
‪後來我們復合，感情比以前還要好

459
00:24:16,288 --> 00:24:18,165
‪因為我們知道我們是天注定

460
00:24:18,248 --> 00:24:19,249
‪然後呢？

461
00:24:19,332 --> 00:24:21,918
‪然後就有了你

462
00:24:22,586 --> 00:24:24,838
‪其餘的你都知道了

463
00:24:24,921 --> 00:24:29,885
‪所以我不該再去追著愛麗絲跑
‪要酷一點

464
00:24:29,968 --> 00:24:32,637
‪如果我們是天注定就會在一起

465
00:24:32,721 --> 00:24:36,266
‪對，如果不是就不會，你也不會有事

466
00:24:36,349 --> 00:24:38,310
‪所以別煩惱

467
00:24:38,393 --> 00:24:41,813
‪也別告訴你媽菲莉絲希柏曼的事
‪她是她的表妹

468
00:24:41,897 --> 00:24:46,902
‪我原本可以去邁阿密賣音響

469
00:24:47,611 --> 00:24:51,948
‪衣服開到肚臍、喝莫希托

470
00:24:52,032 --> 00:24:55,035
‪每晚搞古巴難民

471
00:24:55,118 --> 00:25:00,165
‪結果我得討我媽歡心，去當神父

472
00:25:01,583 --> 00:25:03,126
‪嗨，莫琳

473
00:25:03,210 --> 00:25:06,588
‪嗨，派特神父，神父可以喝酒嗎？

474
00:25:06,671 --> 00:25:09,049
‪我們只能做這件事

475
00:25:09,132 --> 00:25:12,802
‪你要相信事情會沒事的吧？

476
00:25:12,886 --> 00:25:14,262
‪你非相信不可

477
00:25:14,346 --> 00:25:15,847
‪妳說得對，我是

478
00:25:15,931 --> 00:25:17,891
‪-妳還有信念嗎？
‪-沒有

479
00:25:19,267 --> 00:25:22,354
‪但你是好人，我不希望你難過

480
00:25:22,437 --> 00:25:26,983
‪-有人需要你
‪-比方邁阿密的古巴女人嗎？

481
00:25:27,067 --> 00:25:28,235
‪好啊

482
00:25:29,027 --> 00:25:30,070
‪阿門

483
00:25:33,365 --> 00:25:36,076
‪可以給我一杯雙倍威士忌嗎？
‪一個冰塊

484
00:25:36,159 --> 00:25:38,119
‪這次別把手指放進杯子裡？

485
00:25:38,203 --> 00:25:39,704
‪打到了

486
00:25:40,372 --> 00:25:42,916
‪你的尾燈壞了，髒鬼

487
00:25:42,999 --> 00:25:46,253
‪看看我們的孩子，他們沒事

488
00:25:46,336 --> 00:25:49,464
‪對，他們沒有常犯錯，只是搞砸了

489
00:25:49,548 --> 00:25:52,175
‪他們只需要一點家庭時間

490
00:25:52,259 --> 00:25:54,844
‪對，我們今天拚命調教兒女

491
00:25:54,928 --> 00:25:56,930
‪誰知道答案就在保齡球館？

492
00:25:57,013 --> 00:25:59,057
‪由於這是我的主意，我知道

493
00:26:01,560 --> 00:26:05,188
‪說到家庭時間
‪我想邀請我媽和我妹來過聖誕節

494
00:26:05,272 --> 00:26:07,607
‪你真的喝醉了

495
00:26:08,608 --> 00:26:10,360
‪我知道

496
00:26:10,443 --> 00:26:11,778
‪我知道，他們糟透了

497
00:26:11,861 --> 00:26:13,989
‪我想邀請路易斯

498
00:26:14,072 --> 00:26:16,741
‪好，再來啊

499
00:26:17,367 --> 00:26:21,079
‪-但別邀妳爸
‪-我是喝醉，不是腦震盪

500
00:26:22,455 --> 00:26:26,334
‪會很好玩的，只要蛋酒一直來就好了

501
00:26:26,960 --> 00:26:28,086
‪我要上廁所

502
00:26:28,169 --> 00:26:32,549
‪該尿尿了，法蘭克得尿尿

503
00:26:37,512 --> 00:26:38,847
‪該死

504
00:26:38,930 --> 00:26:41,308
‪法蘭克小子，你在做什麼？

505
00:26:41,391 --> 00:26:43,310
‪不，走開

506
00:26:46,980 --> 00:26:49,524
‪好，最後一次，我保證

507
00:26:50,692 --> 00:26:52,444
‪但不可能插得進去的

508
00:26:53,945 --> 00:26:55,363
‪該死

509
00:26:55,447 --> 00:26:58,241
‪該死，裡面什麼都沒有，法蘭克

510
00:26:58,325 --> 00:27:00,702
‪裡面是空的，你這廢物

511
00:27:05,248 --> 00:27:06,833
‪（比爾墨菲，1971到1973年）

512
00:27:06,916 --> 00:27:08,418
‪天啊

513
00:27:11,504 --> 00:27:13,882
‪天啊，有好多卷

514
00:27:15,175 --> 00:27:19,304
‪我找到了，你這個王八蛋

515
00:27:19,846 --> 00:27:23,058
‪爸爸，我拿到高分了，快來看

516
00:27:23,141 --> 00:27:26,186
‪別煩我，親愛的
‪爸爸在享受家庭時間

517
00:28:01,096 --> 00:28:03,098
‪字幕翻譯：張倩茜