1
00:00:12,345 --> 00:00:14,556
[Frank] Yes.
It's... it's terrible. No excuse.
2
00:00:15,473 --> 00:00:19,227
No. We didn't try
to raise our kids like that.
3
00:00:20,186 --> 00:00:22,731
Oh, I promise you,
there will be hell to pay.
4
00:00:22,814 --> 00:00:23,773
[Maureen whimpers]
5
00:00:23,857 --> 00:00:24,858
Thank you.
6
00:00:26,109 --> 00:00:28,236
Any of you little shits
want to guess who that was?
7
00:00:28,319 --> 00:00:29,487
The cemetery?
8
00:00:29,571 --> 00:00:30,572
Guess again.
9
00:00:30,655 --> 00:00:32,032
President of Israel?
10
00:00:32,115 --> 00:00:33,324
A wrong number?
11
00:00:33,408 --> 00:00:34,242
Ow!
12
00:00:34,325 --> 00:00:36,077
It was the mother of a nine-year-old
13
00:00:36,161 --> 00:00:41,666
who wanted to know why I had
a giant wing-wang projected on my face!
14
00:00:43,585 --> 00:00:45,003
[Bill and Maureen laugh]
15
00:00:45,086 --> 00:00:48,298
Oh man, I missed the one thing
that might've cheered me up.
16
00:00:48,381 --> 00:00:50,300
They were doing it in Dad's office.
17
00:00:50,383 --> 00:00:53,720
[kids laughing]
18
00:00:53,803 --> 00:00:55,096
[Kevin] A wing-wang.
19
00:00:55,680 --> 00:00:57,140
That's enough of your shit!
20
00:00:57,724 --> 00:00:58,808
-Sorry, Mama.
-Okay.
21
00:00:58,892 --> 00:01:00,268
The fuck was that?
22
00:01:00,351 --> 00:01:01,895
Why are you frightened of her?
23
00:01:01,978 --> 00:01:04,814
I'm the one that yells all the time
about every little thing!
24
00:01:04,898 --> 00:01:07,442
All three of you kids
are heading down the wrong path,
25
00:01:07,525 --> 00:01:09,986
but we are straightening you out today.
26
00:01:10,070 --> 00:01:12,906
Maureen, you and your evil eye
are coming with me.
27
00:01:12,989 --> 00:01:14,491
Bill, your ass is mine.
28
00:01:14,574 --> 00:01:15,450
[groans]
29
00:01:15,533 --> 00:01:17,660
Who's gonna straighten me out? The dog?
30
00:01:17,744 --> 00:01:18,828
Yeah, you wish.
31
00:01:18,912 --> 00:01:20,872
[Smokey's horn tooting]
32
00:01:20,955 --> 00:01:24,125
Get in my candy wagon.
We're going to hell!
33
00:01:24,209 --> 00:01:27,128
[engine sputtering]
34
00:01:27,212 --> 00:01:29,380
Dad, no, please. This guy scares me.
35
00:01:29,464 --> 00:01:33,051
You don't think you scare me,
you long-haired witchy motherfucker?
36
00:01:33,134 --> 00:01:34,135
Get in!
37
00:01:34,219 --> 00:01:36,930
You going to have to run
like a hobo catching a train,
38
00:01:37,013 --> 00:01:39,099
'cause my brakes
are leaking worse than my dick.
39
00:01:39,182 --> 00:01:42,519
Why'd you let me go to New Orleans,
Frank Murphy?
40
00:01:42,602 --> 00:01:45,105
["Come and Get Your Love"
by Redbone playing]
41
00:01:53,488 --> 00:01:55,949
♪ Come and get your love ♪
42
00:01:57,909 --> 00:02:00,578
{\an8}♪ Come and get your love ♪
43
00:02:02,413 --> 00:02:04,666
♪ Come and get your love ♪
44
00:02:06,501 --> 00:02:09,129
{\an8}♪ Come and get your love ♪
45
00:02:10,547 --> 00:02:12,423
♪ Come and get your love
Come and get your love ♪
46
00:02:12,507 --> 00:02:14,134
♪ Come and get your love now ♪
47
00:02:15,301 --> 00:02:17,262
♪ Come and get your love
Come and get your love ♪
48
00:02:17,345 --> 00:02:18,763
♪ Come and get your love now ♪
49
00:02:18,847 --> 00:02:20,181
{\an8}[grunts, screaming]
50
00:02:20,265 --> 00:02:21,391
{\an8}♪ Come and get your love
Come and get your love ♪
51
00:02:21,474 --> 00:02:23,226
♪ Come and get your love now ♪
52
00:02:24,477 --> 00:02:25,979
♪ Come and get your love
Come and get your love ♪
53
00:02:26,062 --> 00:02:27,605
♪ Come and get your love now ♪
54
00:02:28,189 --> 00:02:29,399
[boom]
55
00:02:31,359 --> 00:02:34,904
Hurry up!
All my Kit Kats is melting into Shit Kats!
56
00:02:35,321 --> 00:02:37,157
Let's go, Captain Skin Flick.
57
00:02:37,574 --> 00:02:38,867
Where are we going?
58
00:02:38,950 --> 00:02:40,118
I'm taking you to church.
59
00:02:40,201 --> 00:02:43,121
{\an8}Father Pat is going to talk with you
about your dangerous obsession
60
00:02:43,204 --> 00:02:44,622
{\an8}with spookiness and the occult.
61
00:02:44,706 --> 00:02:48,209
Asmodeus, prince of demons, save me from--
62
00:02:48,293 --> 00:02:49,294
[Sue] No more demons!
63
00:02:49,377 --> 00:02:50,795
[chimes]
64
00:02:52,755 --> 00:02:55,133
{\an8}-Daddy's okay with this?
-You better believe it.
65
00:02:55,216 --> 00:03:00,096
{\an8}But he says church is 58 minutes of BS
and two minutes of shakedown.
66
00:03:00,180 --> 00:03:02,682
{\an8}That was before his daughter
started running around graveyards
67
00:03:02,765 --> 00:03:04,309
{\an8}trying to raise the dead.
68
00:03:06,019 --> 00:03:07,937
What you did was bad,
69
00:03:08,021 --> 00:03:11,441
and Father Pat is gonna have
a very serious talk with you.
70
00:03:11,524 --> 00:03:14,027
{\an8}♪ Hey! His name is Jesus ♪
71
00:03:14,527 --> 00:03:16,738
{\an8}♪ And when we sneezus ♪
72
00:03:16,821 --> 00:03:19,073
{\an8}♪ We say God bless you ♪
73
00:03:19,157 --> 00:03:21,409
{\an8}♪ So the devil won't get you ♪
74
00:03:21,492 --> 00:03:24,829
{\an8}Now, The Beatles said
they were bigger than Jesus,
75
00:03:24,913 --> 00:03:28,333
and so God punished them with Yoko Ono.
76
00:03:28,416 --> 00:03:32,045
{\an8}♪ Hey! This God
Will drown you in the sea! ♪
77
00:03:32,128 --> 00:03:33,254
{\an8}Everybody!
78
00:03:33,338 --> 00:03:35,340
{\an8}Thanks for taking the time with Maureen.
79
00:03:35,423 --> 00:03:37,592
{\an8}There is nothing I love more
80
00:03:37,675 --> 00:03:41,012
{\an8}than talking about our Lord
with young people.
81
00:03:41,095 --> 00:03:42,639
That and fried calamari.
82
00:03:42,722 --> 00:03:45,141
Oh, but only the rings.
Not those wiggly parts.
83
00:03:45,225 --> 00:03:46,559
I'll be out in the pews.
84
00:03:46,643 --> 00:03:47,936
You, listen.
85
00:03:49,354 --> 00:03:51,606
{\an8}Now, Maureen.
86
00:03:51,689 --> 00:03:56,736
{\an8}I was very upset when your mom told me
what you did at the cemetery last night.
87
00:03:56,819 --> 00:04:01,157
Witchcraft is a sin, and witches are evil.
88
00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:02,742
God tells us that
89
00:04:02,825 --> 00:04:07,247
by putting warts on their noses
and cursing them with the power of flight.
90
00:04:07,330 --> 00:04:08,498
You understand?
91
00:04:08,581 --> 00:04:09,666
I guess.
92
00:04:09,749 --> 00:04:11,334
This is the Christmas season.
93
00:04:11,417 --> 00:04:13,753
Your thoughts should be of the Baby Jesus,
94
00:04:13,836 --> 00:04:18,341
who came to Earth to save us from sin
by dying on the cross.
95
00:04:18,424 --> 00:04:20,510
So, um, Christmas is about death?
96
00:04:20,593 --> 00:04:23,012
No, that's Easter.
97
00:04:23,096 --> 00:04:25,640
Actually, that's about torture and murder,
98
00:04:25,723 --> 00:04:28,142
which is why we add the bunny
and the chocolate eggs.
99
00:04:28,226 --> 00:04:29,394
It takes the edge off.
100
00:04:29,477 --> 00:04:32,355
And we remember
Jesus's sacrifice on the cross
101
00:04:32,438 --> 00:04:35,316
by consuming his body and blood
in Holy Communion.
102
00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:36,859
You drink blood?
103
00:04:36,943 --> 00:04:39,362
Oh, that's just wine
that we get at a discount.
104
00:04:39,445 --> 00:04:41,197
It's not really blood.
105
00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:42,907
[man] Yes, it is!
106
00:04:42,991 --> 00:04:44,701
Well, not really.
107
00:04:44,784 --> 00:04:48,621
At every mass,
you say it's the blood of Christ!
108
00:04:48,705 --> 00:04:50,373
It's a metaphor, numbnuts!
109
00:04:50,456 --> 00:04:54,294
Wine becomes the blood of Christ
through transubstantiation!
110
00:04:54,377 --> 00:04:55,962
That doesn't make sense.
111
00:04:56,045 --> 00:04:59,257
It's not supposed to make sense.
It's religion!
112
00:04:59,340 --> 00:05:01,217
You have to trust what the priest says!
113
00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:05,305
Like when Father Brown told me he was
just adjusting my robes every Sunday.
114
00:05:05,388 --> 00:05:08,308
Uh, Father Brown has been transferred
to Albuquerque.
115
00:05:08,391 --> 00:05:13,771
We felt, in a less populated state,
it might help curb some of his cravings.
116
00:05:13,855 --> 00:05:18,609
[clears throat] So, Maureen, let's
get back to the miracle of Jesus' birth.
117
00:05:18,693 --> 00:05:22,905
Are we just gonna blow past the fact
that it's not really Christ's blood?
118
00:05:22,989 --> 00:05:25,366
That's one of the foundations
of our church!
119
00:05:25,450 --> 00:05:27,076
Like how Jesus was born
120
00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:30,204
by the Immaculate Conception
of Mary Magdalene.
121
00:05:30,288 --> 00:05:31,372
You mean just Mary.
122
00:05:31,456 --> 00:05:33,374
That's what I said, Mary Magdalene.
123
00:05:33,458 --> 00:05:36,252
No! Jesus's mom was Virgin Mary.
124
00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:40,465
Mary Magdalene could get dicked down
whenever she wanted. Right, Father?
125
00:05:41,049 --> 00:05:44,802
Well, minus the salty language, yes.
126
00:05:44,886 --> 00:05:48,848
But the Immaculate Conception
is about Mary being born without sin,
127
00:05:48,931 --> 00:05:51,642
not conceiving Jesus
through the Holy Spirit
128
00:05:51,726 --> 00:05:53,144
while remaining a virgin.
129
00:05:53,227 --> 00:05:55,521
Well, where in the sam hill
does it say that?
130
00:05:55,605 --> 00:05:57,231
Oh, it's simple!
131
00:05:58,024 --> 00:06:00,151
God is the father of us all.
132
00:06:00,234 --> 00:06:04,572
So he's Mary's father,
and he's also the father of Jesus.
133
00:06:04,655 --> 00:06:07,700
And Jesus is part of the Holy Trinity,
134
00:06:07,784 --> 00:06:11,037
which means that he's God and God's son!
135
00:06:11,120 --> 00:06:13,456
So Jesus had sex with himself?
136
00:06:13,539 --> 00:06:15,792
Nobody fornicated with anybody!
137
00:06:15,875 --> 00:06:20,171
God impregnated Mary, spiritually,
and he's also her father.
138
00:06:20,254 --> 00:06:24,801
And her son, Jesus, is also her father
and his own father.
139
00:06:24,884 --> 00:06:27,303
That sounds like the plot of Chinatown.
140
00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:30,640
It is not Chinatown. It is beautiful!
141
00:06:30,723 --> 00:06:32,392
Pull your dress down!
142
00:06:33,351 --> 00:06:34,268
[clears throat]
143
00:06:34,352 --> 00:06:37,563
The important thing is,
however it happened,
144
00:06:37,647 --> 00:06:40,817
Jesus was born our savior
on Christmas Day.
145
00:06:40,900 --> 00:06:43,152
I read that he was actually born in April.
146
00:06:43,236 --> 00:06:44,987
-You shut your mouth!
-He was not!
147
00:06:45,071 --> 00:06:46,406
[nun] Devil child!
148
00:06:46,489 --> 00:06:48,533
[Maureen] I didn't even want to come here!
149
00:06:48,616 --> 00:06:51,160
My mom made me!
150
00:06:51,953 --> 00:06:54,956
And I just thought,
if I could talk to my grandpa's ghost,
151
00:06:55,039 --> 00:07:00,044
my daddy would be happy, and I wouldn't
have to be co-princess anymore.
152
00:07:00,128 --> 00:07:03,673
[crying] I don't want to be Marty Allen!
153
00:07:03,756 --> 00:07:06,968
There, there. Neither does Marty Allen.
154
00:07:07,510 --> 00:07:09,220
Oh, sweetheart.
155
00:07:09,303 --> 00:07:11,305
Father Pat, what happened in here?
156
00:07:11,389 --> 00:07:12,890
Oh, I'll tell you what happened.
157
00:07:12,974 --> 00:07:15,101
The Catholic Church, as always,
158
00:07:15,184 --> 00:07:18,229
is being raked
over the coals for hypocrisy.
159
00:07:18,312 --> 00:07:20,815
And yet, no one questions the moon landing
160
00:07:20,898 --> 00:07:23,776
'cause it was Jack's dream
and it was Camelot.
161
00:07:23,860 --> 00:07:26,654
And meanwhile, that weak-backed bastard
162
00:07:26,737 --> 00:07:29,073
was banging every whore he could find
in the fucking pool,
163
00:07:29,157 --> 00:07:31,200
and nobody questions that!
164
00:07:34,328 --> 00:07:36,164
Oh, who gives a shit?
165
00:07:36,247 --> 00:07:37,874
I'm going for a walk.
166
00:07:38,416 --> 00:07:39,834
[door opens and closes]
167
00:07:39,917 --> 00:07:43,004
I feel better, Mommy. Can we go home now?
168
00:07:43,087 --> 00:07:45,173
I don't think we can stay here.
169
00:07:47,550 --> 00:07:48,551
[Smokey] Hurry up!
170
00:07:49,218 --> 00:07:50,219
[panting]
171
00:07:51,220 --> 00:07:52,221
No more demons!
172
00:07:52,638 --> 00:07:54,474
Let's go, Captain Skin Flick.
173
00:07:54,557 --> 00:07:57,685
It was an accident.
I didn't know it was a dirty movie.
174
00:07:57,768 --> 00:08:00,480
Well, how long did that guy have
to have sex with that hole in the wall
175
00:08:00,563 --> 00:08:01,814
before you figured it out?
176
00:08:01,898 --> 00:08:03,774
[chimes]
177
00:08:03,858 --> 00:08:06,986
Oh, I'm gonna give those cop friends
of yours a piece of my mind
178
00:08:07,069 --> 00:08:08,654
for making you a delinquent.
179
00:08:08,738 --> 00:08:11,741
You were their responsibility,
and they failed.
180
00:08:11,824 --> 00:08:14,827
When a man has a job to do,
he does it, or he's not a man.
181
00:08:14,911 --> 00:08:16,913
[grunts] What the fuck are these?
182
00:08:16,996 --> 00:08:20,750
My papers. I have to deliver them.
That's my job.
183
00:08:20,833 --> 00:08:21,876
[groans]
184
00:08:21,959 --> 00:08:23,336
Shit!
185
00:08:23,419 --> 00:08:26,547
Extra, extra, read all about it!
186
00:08:26,631 --> 00:08:29,800
"Family Man Who Never Gets a Break's
Unlucky Streak Continues"!
187
00:08:29,884 --> 00:08:31,469
♪ Don't make me angry! ♪
188
00:08:32,261 --> 00:08:34,847
♪ You won't like me when I'm angry! ♪
189
00:08:35,431 --> 00:08:36,974
♪ Don't make me angry! ♪
190
00:08:37,808 --> 00:08:40,478
♪ You won't like me when I'm angry! ♪
191
00:08:40,978 --> 00:08:41,896
-♪ Buzz off! ♪
-[grunts]
192
00:08:44,899 --> 00:08:49,570
Dad, I will pay you money
not to embarrass me in front of the cops.
193
00:08:49,654 --> 00:08:52,406
Ha! Money from what?
The job I just did for you?
194
00:08:52,490 --> 00:08:55,618
You did it all wrong!
You missed like 20 houses on my route!
195
00:08:55,701 --> 00:08:59,121
Oh, too bad they're not gonna get to read
"Marmaduke" today?
196
00:08:59,205 --> 00:09:00,706
I'll catch them up to speed.
197
00:09:00,790 --> 00:09:03,543
He jumps in the bathtub
and makes a big mess!
198
00:09:03,626 --> 00:09:06,087
I'll tell you right now,
he'd be the first fucking dog I'd put down
199
00:09:06,170 --> 00:09:07,672
if I ran the cartoon pound!
200
00:09:07,755 --> 00:09:09,715
Him and that smart-ass Snoopy.
201
00:09:09,799 --> 00:09:12,051
Thinking he's better than me
because he made it as a pilot!
202
00:09:12,134 --> 00:09:14,470
You can't fly a doghouse,
you fucking idiot!
203
00:09:14,554 --> 00:09:15,596
[sighs]
204
00:09:16,389 --> 00:09:17,765
All right, let's go in.
205
00:09:20,184 --> 00:09:22,937
Are you the two mental midgets
who corrupted my kid?
206
00:09:23,020 --> 00:09:27,692
We all know about the dirty movie.
Your wife won't shut up about it.
207
00:09:27,775 --> 00:09:30,278
Ah, Christ. She's not my wife.
208
00:09:30,361 --> 00:09:33,531
Frank, I'm so glad
I have you here for backup.
209
00:09:33,614 --> 00:09:35,449
Phillip, cover your ears.
210
00:09:35,533 --> 00:09:40,162
My son saw awful things!
Things that only Anthony talks about!
211
00:09:40,246 --> 00:09:42,540
Eat that nasty pussy!
212
00:09:42,623 --> 00:09:45,751
We said we wouldn't say that anymore,
honeybunch.
213
00:09:45,835 --> 00:09:48,546
-Sister want a big dick!
-Have a jawbreaker!
214
00:09:49,130 --> 00:09:50,381
[giggling]
215
00:09:50,464 --> 00:09:54,885
Okay, I think we settled this.
Thanks for coming in, and Merry Christmas.
216
00:09:54,969 --> 00:09:57,054
Oh, we have settled nothing!
217
00:09:57,138 --> 00:10:00,725
I left my son in your care,
and you gave him a dirty movie.
218
00:10:00,808 --> 00:10:03,144
Phillip got the movie. I got a pimp hat.
219
00:10:03,227 --> 00:10:05,104
I don't care what you-- Pimp hat?
220
00:10:05,187 --> 00:10:07,398
-With a bullet hole.
-Whatever!
221
00:10:07,481 --> 00:10:10,735
The bottom line is you failed these boys.
What are you gonna do about it?
222
00:10:10,818 --> 00:10:12,445
What are you gonna do about it?
223
00:10:12,528 --> 00:10:15,031
Well, I... I am doing something about it.
224
00:10:15,114 --> 00:10:18,159
I'm... I'm yelling at you
'cause... 'cause you didn't do your job.
225
00:10:18,242 --> 00:10:22,622
Your job was to make sure your kid
turned out right and followed the law.
226
00:10:22,705 --> 00:10:24,081
Clearly, you failed at that,
227
00:10:24,165 --> 00:10:27,293
or he wouldn't have got arrested
and been sent to us.
228
00:10:28,044 --> 00:10:32,131
You're his father.
Act like it for Chrissake.
229
00:10:36,177 --> 00:10:38,596
You are done with those cops.
You are never going back there.
230
00:10:38,679 --> 00:10:39,639
Okay.
231
00:10:40,431 --> 00:10:43,601
-So, can we go home now?
-That's what we're doing.
232
00:10:43,684 --> 00:10:46,395
Then why did we just drive past
our street again?
233
00:10:46,979 --> 00:10:47,855
[groans]
234
00:10:48,898 --> 00:10:50,358
[Frank] Well, none of this
would've happened
235
00:10:50,441 --> 00:10:52,610
if you were watching the kids
and not hanging out at Vic's.
236
00:10:52,693 --> 00:10:56,656
What is it about being in this house
that makes you want to leave so much?
237
00:10:56,739 --> 00:10:59,450
Because I'll tell you, Sue...
[scoffs] ...it's a mystery to me!
238
00:10:59,533 --> 00:11:02,244
You're the one who disappeared
so you could drive around town
239
00:11:02,328 --> 00:11:04,997
trying to find where some stupid key fits.
240
00:11:05,081 --> 00:11:06,165
It's not stupid.
241
00:11:06,916 --> 00:11:09,877
It's an inanimate object,
and it happens to mean a lot to me.
242
00:11:10,419 --> 00:11:13,297
And for your own edification,
I didn't find where it goes.
243
00:11:13,381 --> 00:11:14,924
-I'm done with that.
-Good.
244
00:11:15,007 --> 00:11:17,468
First thing tomorrow,
I'm taking Bill back down to the station
245
00:11:17,551 --> 00:11:19,303
to give those cops a piece of my mind.
246
00:11:19,387 --> 00:11:23,349
And then I think it's high time
you gave Bill the sex talk.
247
00:11:23,432 --> 00:11:25,768
Uh, well,
I don't know if that's necessary.
248
00:11:25,851 --> 00:11:30,106
Frank! That movie he saw tonight
could scar him for life.
249
00:11:30,189 --> 00:11:33,109
He needs to know
that is not what sex is really about.
250
00:11:34,068 --> 00:11:35,027
Does he?
251
00:11:35,111 --> 00:11:37,530
I don't know why
you're making such a big deal about it.
252
00:11:37,613 --> 00:11:39,448
Just tell him what you told Kevin.
253
00:11:39,532 --> 00:11:42,284
Yeah, uh, the words I said...
254
00:11:42,368 --> 00:11:44,829
You never told Kevin
about the birds and the bees?
255
00:11:44,912 --> 00:11:47,957
I was too busy
putting a roof over his head, Susan!
256
00:11:48,958 --> 00:11:51,502
Ah, Christ. I don't know what to say.
257
00:11:51,585 --> 00:11:54,880
It can't be that hard.
How did your father tell you?
258
00:11:54,964 --> 00:11:57,341
Women are the devil,
don't ever touch yourself,
259
00:11:57,425 --> 00:12:00,386
and now quit bugging me
and hand me that fucking monkey wrench
260
00:12:00,469 --> 00:12:01,971
before I hit you with it.
261
00:12:02,054 --> 00:12:03,764
That's healthy.
262
00:12:03,848 --> 00:12:06,976
This is your responsibility.
You're his father.
263
00:12:07,059 --> 00:12:10,604
-And I'm a damn good father!
-So don't let him down.
264
00:12:12,606 --> 00:12:15,609
-Dad, are you having a heart attack?
-I wish.
265
00:12:16,152 --> 00:12:17,236
[sighs]
266
00:12:17,319 --> 00:12:19,363
Christ. Here we go.
267
00:12:25,077 --> 00:12:26,120
[sighs]
268
00:12:26,203 --> 00:12:27,079
[engine sputters]
269
00:12:30,291 --> 00:12:31,500
Ah.
270
00:12:31,584 --> 00:12:32,585
So...
271
00:12:33,461 --> 00:12:34,462
Uh...
272
00:12:35,337 --> 00:12:38,799
There's something
I wanted to talk to you about, Bill.
273
00:12:38,883 --> 00:12:39,842
William.
274
00:12:39,925 --> 00:12:41,010
Remember a few years back
275
00:12:41,093 --> 00:12:43,345
when you asked me
what those dogs were doing,
276
00:12:43,429 --> 00:12:45,890
and I said one was giving the other
a piggyback ride?
277
00:12:45,973 --> 00:12:47,141
No.
278
00:12:47,224 --> 00:12:49,268
Okay, uh, how about when we went downtown
279
00:12:49,351 --> 00:12:52,563
and you saw those two hippies
"wrestling" in the park?
280
00:12:52,646 --> 00:12:54,273
What are you talking about?
281
00:12:54,356 --> 00:12:56,275
Okay, look.
282
00:12:56,358 --> 00:12:58,402
When people grow up... [sighs]
283
00:12:58,486 --> 00:13:01,030
...their... their... their body
wants to do some things.
284
00:13:01,113 --> 00:13:02,698
Like... like the way it wants to eat.
285
00:13:02,782 --> 00:13:04,992
You know, and there's nothing wrong
with being hungry.
286
00:13:05,075 --> 00:13:09,955
It's completely natural for your body
to tell you it wants to eat.
287
00:13:10,039 --> 00:13:11,957
And as you get older,
288
00:13:12,041 --> 00:13:15,169
you know, you're going to want
to eat a lot and at different times.
289
00:13:15,252 --> 00:13:17,546
You know, uh, in the shower,
290
00:13:18,422 --> 00:13:21,008
when you wake up sleeping on your stomach,
291
00:13:21,091 --> 00:13:23,260
when you see a billboard
for suntan lotion.
292
00:13:23,344 --> 00:13:26,055
-Uh, I'm not hungry.
-The hunger's just a metaphor!
293
00:13:26,138 --> 00:13:28,974
-A metaphor for what?
-I don't know anymore!
294
00:13:29,058 --> 00:13:31,560
[exhales]
Look, just give me a minute, will you?
295
00:13:33,187 --> 00:13:36,816
The vagina is, uh... is... No. Uh...
296
00:13:37,441 --> 00:13:41,403
Uh, uh, a woman's tulip is... is... is...
297
00:13:41,487 --> 00:13:43,781
Don't worry if you can't find it.
No guy's ever found it.
298
00:13:43,864 --> 00:13:45,533
Christ, it's... it's buried in there.
299
00:13:49,495 --> 00:13:50,955
Do you get it?
300
00:13:51,038 --> 00:13:54,458
A guy thing in a girl place
at the same time.
301
00:13:54,542 --> 00:13:57,795
And eventually, you see...
you see that little opening on the straw?
302
00:13:58,504 --> 00:14:01,298
Ah, Christ, just... just take
your dick out and figure it out!
303
00:14:01,382 --> 00:14:04,802
Dad, it's okay. You don't have to do this.
304
00:14:04,885 --> 00:14:07,096
Yes, I do. I'm your father and--
305
00:14:07,179 --> 00:14:10,182
No, really.
I know this is making you nervous.
306
00:14:10,266 --> 00:14:13,602
You don't have to tell me all this stuff.
I already know it.
307
00:14:13,686 --> 00:14:14,603
No, you don't.
308
00:14:14,687 --> 00:14:17,940
That movie is not what real people do.
Real people do what this straw and lid do.
309
00:14:18,023 --> 00:14:19,859
-No, I know that.
-How do you know?
310
00:14:19,942 --> 00:14:21,569
I just know, okay?
311
00:14:21,652 --> 00:14:25,406
I've seen people doing it. Up close.
312
00:14:25,489 --> 00:14:27,783
-The hell are you talking about?
-Nothing!
313
00:14:27,867 --> 00:14:30,661
Nah, don't "nothing" me!
Come on, out with it!
314
00:14:30,744 --> 00:14:33,664
-Ah, just forget about it!
-Tell me!
315
00:14:33,747 --> 00:14:35,499
[groans]
316
00:14:35,583 --> 00:14:39,336
That night last year
when I puked all over the table?
317
00:14:39,420 --> 00:14:43,382
I puked because I was hiding under the bed
when you and Mom were...
318
00:14:46,135 --> 00:14:47,261
[Frank] No!
319
00:14:48,262 --> 00:14:53,267
Oh, Jesus Christ! No!
320
00:14:57,813 --> 00:15:02,151
I don't care what you do
for the rest of your life
321
00:15:02,860 --> 00:15:06,071
as long as you never speak a word of this
to your mother.
322
00:15:06,155 --> 00:15:08,449
Okay? That woman's already half dead
from you kids.
323
00:15:08,532 --> 00:15:11,160
And this... this would put her
in the ground, you hear me?
324
00:15:11,243 --> 00:15:12,620
Okay.
325
00:15:12,703 --> 00:15:14,330
Can I still be a cop?
326
00:15:14,413 --> 00:15:17,625
Only if you promise to arrest me
and put me on death row.
327
00:15:22,296 --> 00:15:26,467
Hurry up! All my Kit Kats
is melting into Shit Kats.
328
00:15:26,550 --> 00:15:27,426
[grunts]
329
00:15:28,844 --> 00:15:31,347
Smokey, remember
I met you in September when--
330
00:15:31,430 --> 00:15:34,850
You will call me Black God.
331
00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:36,477
Yes, Black God.
332
00:15:36,560 --> 00:15:39,063
And I shall call you Larry.
333
00:15:40,147 --> 00:15:41,065
[chimes]
334
00:15:43,567 --> 00:15:44,860
So, where's Nuber?
335
00:15:44,944 --> 00:15:46,153
Oh, you mean Larry?
336
00:15:46,236 --> 00:15:49,365
Yeah, he decided to leave old Smokey
and go back to school
337
00:15:49,448 --> 00:15:52,076
where they filling his head
with all that book knowledge.
338
00:15:52,159 --> 00:15:54,495
Libraries are
for washing your socks in the sink!
339
00:15:54,578 --> 00:15:57,414
So what's this I hear
about you spending all your time
340
00:15:57,498 --> 00:15:59,541
crying over some mediocre white woman?
341
00:15:59,625 --> 00:16:01,293
Her name's Alice, and--
342
00:16:01,377 --> 00:16:05,255
Shut the fuck up!
That was rhetorical, motherfucker!
343
00:16:05,339 --> 00:16:08,676
You Murphys always coming to me
with your bullshit problem.
344
00:16:08,759 --> 00:16:12,471
"My daddy died and left me a mystery key."
345
00:16:12,554 --> 00:16:14,723
"Some girl dumped my ass."
346
00:16:14,807 --> 00:16:18,018
"Amy got the lead role
in the school play."
347
00:16:18,602 --> 00:16:21,563
You don't know jack shit
about real problems!
348
00:16:21,647 --> 00:16:26,276
As of this morning,
I got $14 to my name, in change.
349
00:16:26,360 --> 00:16:30,823
Got a cricket living in my ear,
and I'm about to lose my foot.
350
00:16:30,906 --> 00:16:33,993
Not 'cause of diabetes.
'Cause of gambling.
351
00:16:34,076 --> 00:16:37,204
Joke's on them though.
It's been dead for years,
352
00:16:37,287 --> 00:16:38,539
'cause of diabetes.
353
00:16:38,622 --> 00:16:41,959
So don't talk to me
about your fucking problems! That clear?
354
00:16:42,042 --> 00:16:43,669
Yes, Black God.
355
00:16:43,752 --> 00:16:47,214
You got too much time on your hands
to be thinking about all your shit.
356
00:16:47,297 --> 00:16:48,549
That ends today.
357
00:16:48,632 --> 00:16:52,636
Now, over the next nine hours
and one unpaid pee stop,
358
00:16:52,720 --> 00:16:54,054
I will break you.
359
00:16:54,138 --> 00:16:56,223
When you're loading 10,000 stale gumballs,
360
00:16:56,306 --> 00:16:58,559
you won't have time
to be thinking about no girl!
361
00:17:00,644 --> 00:17:03,647
I don't know.
She was the most perfect girl ever.
362
00:17:03,731 --> 00:17:06,900
She made me feel happy. She liked my vest.
363
00:17:06,984 --> 00:17:09,945
She inspired my greatest music ever.
364
00:17:10,904 --> 00:17:12,322
I wrote a song about it.
365
00:17:13,532 --> 00:17:17,828
♪ Alice, there's a thousand reasons why ♪
366
00:17:17,911 --> 00:17:20,748
♪ I'll never get over you ♪
367
00:17:20,831 --> 00:17:22,291
♪ One, hair ♪
368
00:17:23,042 --> 00:17:25,377
♪ Two, face ♪
369
00:17:25,461 --> 00:17:28,922
♪ Three, boobies ♪
370
00:17:29,006 --> 00:17:31,216
♪ Four, nipples ♪
371
00:17:32,301 --> 00:17:33,969
-How'd it go?
-[sighs]
372
00:17:34,053 --> 00:17:36,013
Don't ask. You?
373
00:17:36,096 --> 00:17:37,931
-Same.
-[Smokey's horn tooting]
374
00:17:38,015 --> 00:17:41,685
♪ Five hundred and fourteen
Your elbow-pits ♪
375
00:17:41,769 --> 00:17:44,271
-♪ Five hundred and fifteen-- ♪
-[tires squeal]
376
00:17:44,354 --> 00:17:45,189
[screams]
377
00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:49,026
Kevin, I'm so sorry!
378
00:17:49,943 --> 00:17:52,321
This world ain't nothing but pain!
379
00:17:52,404 --> 00:17:54,740
No one should have to suffer this life!
380
00:17:54,823 --> 00:17:58,035
And here I am making more babies!
381
00:17:58,118 --> 00:17:58,952
[cries]
382
00:17:59,036 --> 00:18:00,954
I'm a monster!
383
00:18:01,038 --> 00:18:02,748
[sobs]
384
00:18:02,831 --> 00:18:05,584
-[horn tooting]
-[tires squeal]
385
00:18:05,667 --> 00:18:07,127
He's a good listener.
386
00:18:09,129 --> 00:18:13,258
Jesus Christ, who knew being there
for your kids could be so exhausting?
387
00:18:14,551 --> 00:18:18,388
[sighs] I don't know what to do, Frank.
I... What are you doing?
388
00:18:18,472 --> 00:18:21,100
-Nothing. Just, uh, the bed.
-[Sue] What about it?
389
00:18:21,183 --> 00:18:25,354
It's... saggy. Maybe we should
stuff some luggage under here.
390
00:18:25,437 --> 00:18:29,149
Barbed wire, a bear trap.
Something to take up all the space.
391
00:18:29,233 --> 00:18:31,151
-Are you okay?
-No, I'm not.
392
00:18:31,235 --> 00:18:33,403
-Fucking kids are doing me in.
-[sighs]
393
00:18:33,487 --> 00:18:36,949
-Frank, they're becoming people.
-Yeah, and I don't like it.
394
00:18:37,032 --> 00:18:40,160
-So, what do we do now?
-We could both start drinking more.
395
00:18:40,244 --> 00:18:44,957
Seriously, Frank. I am at my wit's end.
What do we do?
396
00:18:45,040 --> 00:18:46,250
I don't know.
397
00:18:46,333 --> 00:18:50,546
Christ, we've given them to the church,
the police, a screaming Black guy.
398
00:18:50,629 --> 00:18:52,131
I mean, we've done everything we could.
399
00:18:53,257 --> 00:18:57,803
We could do something... nice?
400
00:18:57,886 --> 00:19:01,265
-They'll think they got away with it.
-Frank. They did.
401
00:19:02,933 --> 00:19:03,851
[chimes]
402
00:19:08,230 --> 00:19:09,565
Aw, shit.
403
00:19:09,648 --> 00:19:11,567
Fucking bowling.
404
00:19:11,650 --> 00:19:12,943
Not bad.
405
00:19:13,026 --> 00:19:15,028
Okay, let's see how everyone did.
406
00:19:15,112 --> 00:19:17,197
Sue, you got a 142.
407
00:19:17,281 --> 00:19:21,493
Dad, a solid 228. Thank you very much.
408
00:19:22,286 --> 00:19:25,164
Bill, 60. Maureen, 61.
409
00:19:25,247 --> 00:19:26,123
Kevin,
410
00:19:26,915 --> 00:19:27,749
zero.
411
00:19:27,833 --> 00:19:31,587
[chuckles] Hey, you tied
with Grandpa Bill, and he's dead.
412
00:19:31,670 --> 00:19:34,631
[chuckles] I've seen
blind people with no arms do better.
413
00:19:34,715 --> 00:19:37,467
Yeah, well, they're
not emotionally suffering like I am!
414
00:19:37,551 --> 00:19:38,594
-Ooh!
-Oh, Alice!
415
00:19:38,677 --> 00:19:41,013
-Kevin doesn't have a girlfriend!
-Please touch my wing-wang.
416
00:19:41,096 --> 00:19:41,930
-Shut up!
-[mocking]
417
00:19:42,014 --> 00:19:46,351
Okay, okay, leave Kevin alone, you two.
He's in pain, all right?
418
00:19:46,435 --> 00:19:48,770
And you're his fucking family,
so act like it!
419
00:19:50,606 --> 00:19:53,108
All right, time for a new game!
Lead us off, Maureen!
420
00:19:53,192 --> 00:19:55,903
[groans] Can I go play
in the game room instead?
421
00:19:55,986 --> 00:19:58,488
Me too?
They have that cool new video game.
422
00:19:58,572 --> 00:20:00,490
Fine. Here.
423
00:20:00,574 --> 00:20:04,453
Glad I shelled out a buck-fifty
renting you shoes to wear in the arcade.
424
00:20:04,536 --> 00:20:07,372
I'll go with them to make sure
they don't break any more laws.
425
00:20:07,456 --> 00:20:09,875
All right! [laughs]
426
00:20:09,958 --> 00:20:12,544
-Thanks for sticking up for me back there.
-I'm your father.
427
00:20:12,628 --> 00:20:15,714
Yeah, well, thanks.
Do I still have to bowl?
428
00:20:15,797 --> 00:20:19,301
Yep. Now let's see
if we can beat your high score of zero.
429
00:20:19,384 --> 00:20:22,930
Uh, you need to take the condoms
out of the machine?
430
00:20:23,013 --> 00:20:27,768
Uh, yeah, might be something wrong
with them, for some reason.
431
00:20:27,851 --> 00:20:30,604
Hey! You buy any of them rubbers in there?
432
00:20:30,687 --> 00:20:32,439
Give them back! You don't want them!
433
00:20:32,522 --> 00:20:35,275
-Do I hear a cricket?
-That's all I hear!
434
00:20:35,943 --> 00:20:36,902
[grunts]
435
00:20:40,072 --> 00:20:43,659
-Does that count for anything?
-You just lost me a hundred bucks!
436
00:20:43,742 --> 00:20:46,578
Sorry, buddy!
First-time bowler, long-time idiot.
437
00:20:46,662 --> 00:20:48,038
[chuckles] Won't happen again.
438
00:20:48,121 --> 00:20:49,289
Pfft, thanks a lot.
439
00:20:49,373 --> 00:20:50,958
I just saved your life.
440
00:20:51,041 --> 00:20:52,918
You need a heavier ball. Hang on.
441
00:20:55,087 --> 00:20:57,297
[emotional music playing]
442
00:21:01,802 --> 00:21:04,596
Use this one. Bet it's got a strike in it.
443
00:21:05,889 --> 00:21:08,267
This ball, it actually came from, uh--
444
00:21:08,350 --> 00:21:10,602
Yeah, that rack.
There's a shitload of them.
445
00:21:11,353 --> 00:21:12,479
[grunts]
446
00:21:14,690 --> 00:21:18,443
Hey, I got one! I got the little one
in the corner! The pinky pin!
447
00:21:18,527 --> 00:21:20,654
Yeah, you did! Way to go, buddy.
448
00:21:20,737 --> 00:21:24,741
Knocking just one over is probably harder
than knocking them all over, right, Dad?
449
00:21:24,825 --> 00:21:26,868
Well, sure.
450
00:21:26,952 --> 00:21:28,287
[beeping]
451
00:21:28,370 --> 00:21:30,914
-What is the point of this game?
-You make dots.
452
00:21:30,998 --> 00:21:33,834
-It's amazing!
-Shh! I'm trying to concentrate!
453
00:21:33,917 --> 00:21:35,669
I got a free dot!
454
00:21:35,752 --> 00:21:37,963
Whoa, she's making so many dots!
455
00:21:38,046 --> 00:21:40,841
The future is a fucking miracle,
I tell you.
456
00:21:40,924 --> 00:21:42,759
My kid's going to eat that up.
457
00:21:44,136 --> 00:21:46,638
I guess it's pretty good
when you get them all down.
458
00:21:46,722 --> 00:21:48,974
Yeah. Who says you're not good at math?
459
00:21:52,686 --> 00:21:54,980
-What?
-Nothing. Nothing.
460
00:21:55,063 --> 00:21:59,318
Listen, uh...
So, how you doing? How's Kevin?
461
00:21:59,401 --> 00:22:01,862
Dad. [sighs] Every time
we try to have a talk like this,
462
00:22:01,945 --> 00:22:03,739
we just end up getting in a fight.
463
00:22:03,822 --> 00:22:06,867
I know we do.
But that's just because we're so similar.
464
00:22:06,950 --> 00:22:08,327
-[groans]
-[chuckles]
465
00:22:08,410 --> 00:22:10,120
I know, it sucks!
466
00:22:12,414 --> 00:22:16,918
Look, I turned out screwed up
because my dad screwed me up,
467
00:22:17,544 --> 00:22:19,046
but I don't want you to be screwed up.
468
00:22:19,129 --> 00:22:22,382
Wow. You never said
anything like that before.
469
00:22:22,466 --> 00:22:26,720
I know. When you're a dad,
you don't want to admit that you're human.
470
00:22:26,803 --> 00:22:27,804
I mean... [chuckles]
471
00:22:27,888 --> 00:22:30,891
I mean, I know you kids
see me as some sort of superman.
472
00:22:30,974 --> 00:22:32,517
-Villain.
-What?
473
00:22:32,601 --> 00:22:33,560
Nothing.
474
00:22:33,643 --> 00:22:36,772
I don't want us to be
the way I was with my dad
475
00:22:36,855 --> 00:22:40,025
and then let years go by
before it's too late to make it better.
476
00:22:40,108 --> 00:22:42,986
So, that's why I want to check in with you
every once in a while.
477
00:22:43,070 --> 00:22:45,781
I know you're pretty torn up about Alice.
478
00:22:45,864 --> 00:22:47,657
Eh, only when I think about her.
479
00:22:47,741 --> 00:22:51,078
And, well, any other time really.
480
00:22:51,161 --> 00:22:53,997
[sighs] It's not gonna be easy
getting over her.
481
00:22:54,081 --> 00:22:55,624
No, I... I... I see that.
482
00:22:55,707 --> 00:22:58,168
And I'm sorry
I didn't understand that at first.
483
00:22:58,251 --> 00:22:59,836
I guess I just thought it was puppy love.
484
00:22:59,920 --> 00:23:02,839
Dad, what me and Alice had
was grown-dog love!
485
00:23:02,923 --> 00:23:04,132
I know. I know.
486
00:23:04,216 --> 00:23:06,885
I... I mean, we were doing stuff
that would make a puppy explode.
487
00:23:06,968 --> 00:23:08,095
I got it. I got it.
488
00:23:09,513 --> 00:23:11,431
Kevin, this may surprise you,
489
00:23:11,515 --> 00:23:14,017
but you're not the first person
in the world to feel this way.
490
00:23:14,101 --> 00:23:18,063
When I was your age, I was so in love
with this beautiful blond.
491
00:23:18,146 --> 00:23:21,400
Even though I was so crazy about her,
she dumped me.
492
00:23:21,483 --> 00:23:22,401
Mom dumped you?
493
00:23:22,484 --> 00:23:26,154
Nah, I'm not talking about Mom.
This was Phyllis Hibberman.
494
00:23:26,238 --> 00:23:28,824
Ew, you had a girlfriend before Mom?
495
00:23:28,907 --> 00:23:29,783
Uh-huh.
496
00:23:29,866 --> 00:23:32,536
-Was she cute?
-Oh, she was gorgeous.
497
00:23:32,619 --> 00:23:34,287
All-hands-on-deck.
498
00:23:34,371 --> 00:23:35,956
Hoo-hoo. Ah-oo-gah.
499
00:23:37,124 --> 00:23:39,876
Well, not as gorgeous as your mom.
But yeah.
500
00:23:39,960 --> 00:23:43,338
Anyway, after she broke up with me,
boy, I was a wreck.
501
00:23:43,422 --> 00:23:45,549
I thought I was gonna die without her.
502
00:23:45,632 --> 00:23:50,595
I tried everything to get her back,
but she started dating Jack Draski.
503
00:23:50,679 --> 00:23:52,973
And they got married
and moved to Rhode Island.
504
00:23:53,056 --> 00:23:56,101
But, after a while, I got over it.
505
00:23:57,185 --> 00:23:59,729
And then I met your mom.
Take that, Phyllis.
506
00:23:59,813 --> 00:24:02,107
And you and Mom
have been together ever since, huh?
507
00:24:02,190 --> 00:24:04,067
Nah, we were on and off for a while.
508
00:24:04,151 --> 00:24:06,111
Had a real big fight back in '58.
509
00:24:06,194 --> 00:24:09,448
It's about me applying to flight school
before she was finished with college.
510
00:24:09,531 --> 00:24:10,824
Broke up for a bit.
511
00:24:10,907 --> 00:24:12,951
But we took our time to cool off.
512
00:24:13,034 --> 00:24:16,204
And then we got back together,
and it was better than before
513
00:24:16,288 --> 00:24:18,165
because we knew
we were meant for each other.
514
00:24:18,248 --> 00:24:19,249
Then what happened?
515
00:24:19,332 --> 00:24:21,918
[chuckles] Well, you happened.
516
00:24:22,586 --> 00:24:24,838
And the rest, as they say, is history.
517
00:24:24,921 --> 00:24:29,885
So I should stop chasing Alice around
and play it cool,
518
00:24:29,968 --> 00:24:32,637
and if we're meant to be, it'll be.
519
00:24:32,721 --> 00:24:36,266
Yeah. And if you're not, you won't,
and you'll be okay.
520
00:24:36,349 --> 00:24:38,310
So try not to worry.
521
00:24:38,393 --> 00:24:41,813
And don't tell your mom
about Phyllis Hibberman. She's her cousin.
522
00:24:41,897 --> 00:24:46,902
I could've been a stereo salesman,
living in Miami,
523
00:24:46,985 --> 00:24:51,948
uh, shirt unbuttoned to my navel,
drinking mojitos,
524
00:24:52,032 --> 00:24:55,035
banging Cuban refugees every night.
525
00:24:55,118 --> 00:25:00,165
But no. I had to make my mom happy
and be a man of God.
526
00:25:00,248 --> 00:25:01,500
[panting]
527
00:25:01,583 --> 00:25:03,126
Oh, hi, Maureen.
528
00:25:03,210 --> 00:25:06,588
Hi, Father Pat.
Are priests allowed to drink?
529
00:25:06,671 --> 00:25:09,049
It's the only thing we're allowed to do.
530
00:25:09,132 --> 00:25:12,802
You gotta have faith
that things are gonna be okay, right?
531
00:25:12,886 --> 00:25:14,262
I mean, you have to.
532
00:25:14,346 --> 00:25:15,847
You're right. I do.
533
00:25:15,931 --> 00:25:17,891
-Do you still have your faith?
-No.
534
00:25:17,974 --> 00:25:19,184
Aw.
535
00:25:19,267 --> 00:25:22,354
But you're a nice man,
and I don't want you to be sad.
536
00:25:22,437 --> 00:25:26,983
-There's people who need you.
-Like Cuban women in Miami?
537
00:25:27,067 --> 00:25:28,235
Sure.
538
00:25:29,027 --> 00:25:30,070
Amen.
539
00:25:33,365 --> 00:25:36,076
Can I get a whiskey double, please?
One ice cube.
540
00:25:36,159 --> 00:25:38,119
Keep your fingers out of the glass
this time?
541
00:25:38,203 --> 00:25:39,871
I got you! [grunts]
542
00:25:40,372 --> 00:25:42,916
Your taillight's broken, dirtbag!
543
00:25:42,999 --> 00:25:46,253
Look at those kids of ours. They're okay.
544
00:25:46,336 --> 00:25:49,422
Yeah. They're not screwups.
They just screwed up.
545
00:25:49,506 --> 00:25:52,175
All they needed was a little family time.
546
00:25:52,259 --> 00:25:54,844
Yeah. For all that parenting we did today,
547
00:25:54,928 --> 00:25:56,930
who knew the answer
would be in a bowling alley?
548
00:25:57,013 --> 00:25:59,057
Since it was my idea, I did.
549
00:25:59,140 --> 00:26:00,475
[both laugh]
550
00:26:01,560 --> 00:26:05,188
Speaking of family time, I think I want
to invite my mom and sister for Christmas.
551
00:26:05,272 --> 00:26:07,607
Wow, you really are drunk.
552
00:26:07,691 --> 00:26:08,775
[both laugh]
553
00:26:08,858 --> 00:26:10,360
I know.
554
00:26:10,443 --> 00:26:11,778
I know. They're the worst!
555
00:26:11,861 --> 00:26:13,405
And I want to invite Louis!
556
00:26:13,488 --> 00:26:16,741
-[both laugh]
-Yeah, yeah! Let's pile it on!
557
00:26:17,367 --> 00:26:21,079
-But not your fucking father.
-I'm drunk, not concussed.
558
00:26:21,162 --> 00:26:22,372
[both laugh]
559
00:26:22,455 --> 00:26:26,334
Oh, it'll be fun,
as long as we keep that eggnog flowing.
560
00:26:26,960 --> 00:26:28,086
Speaking of flowing...
561
00:26:28,169 --> 00:26:32,549
♪ Time to pee for me
Ol' Frankie, he's got to pee ♪
562
00:26:32,632 --> 00:26:34,926
[suspenseful music plays]
563
00:26:37,512 --> 00:26:38,847
Ah, shit.
564
00:26:38,930 --> 00:26:41,308
What are you doing, Frankie boy?
565
00:26:41,391 --> 00:26:43,310
No. Walk away.
566
00:26:46,980 --> 00:26:49,524
Okay, last one, I promise.
567
00:26:50,692 --> 00:26:52,444
But there's no way it'll fit.
568
00:26:53,945 --> 00:26:55,363
Ah, shit.
569
00:26:55,447 --> 00:26:58,241
Goddamn it.
There's nothing in there, Frank.
570
00:26:58,325 --> 00:27:00,702
It's just gonna be empty,
you fucking loser.
571
00:27:01,911 --> 00:27:03,288
[sighs]
572
00:27:06,916 --> 00:27:08,418
Oh my God.
573
00:27:08,501 --> 00:27:10,420
[triumphant music playing]
574
00:27:11,463 --> 00:27:13,840
Holy shit, there's so much here!
575
00:27:14,382 --> 00:27:19,304
[gasps] I found you, you son of a bitch.
576
00:27:19,846 --> 00:27:23,058
Daddy, I got high score! Come see!
577
00:27:23,141 --> 00:27:25,852
Don't bother me, honey.
Daddy's having family time.
578
00:27:25,935 --> 00:27:26,978
[groans]