1 00:00:06,256 --> 00:00:10,969 ‪NETFLIX 原创剧集 2 00:00:12,053 --> 00:00:13,221 ‪(“射”出天际 XXX级) 3 00:00:13,304 --> 00:00:15,223 ‪伙计 今天我们 ‪往这条色情梦工厂之路 4 00:00:15,306 --> 00:00:18,435 ‪迈出了第一步 5 00:00:18,518 --> 00:00:19,436 ‪(玛菲·杰特成人片娱乐公司) 6 00:00:19,519 --> 00:00:23,648 ‪我们的未来 ‪就在这扇残破、龌龊的大门后面 7 00:00:23,732 --> 00:00:25,150 ‪我来跟他谈吧 8 00:00:28,278 --> 00:00:30,488 ‪走开 不然我一枪打爆你的头 9 00:00:30,572 --> 00:00:34,826 ‪提森先生 能够吃你一颗子弹 ‪是我们的荣幸 10 00:00:35,660 --> 00:00:36,745 {\an8}‪(铁锈城好市长 ‪羞辱黑人市议员阿德曼) 11 00:00:36,828 --> 00:00:39,080 {\an8}‪该死的市长 ‪建设收费公路 摆明跟我作对 12 00:00:39,164 --> 00:00:41,166 ‪小心我抬起一辆花车往那个混蛋砸去 13 00:00:41,249 --> 00:00:44,169 ‪到时他们扔的就是我的屁股蛋子 ‪而不是那些火鸡 14 00:00:44,252 --> 00:00:45,920 ‪这火鸡其实挺好吃的 15 00:00:46,004 --> 00:00:47,380 ‪火鸡有多好吃还用你说吗? 16 00:00:50,008 --> 00:00:52,552 ‪我今天就要遏止他们建设收费公路 17 00:00:52,635 --> 00:00:54,846 ‪该好好将那个小人一军了 18 00:00:54,929 --> 00:00:59,726 ‪圣诞老人随时登场 19 00:00:59,809 --> 00:01:04,898 ‪为这场欢乐美好的 ‪感恩节后促销季主持开幕礼 20 00:01:06,483 --> 00:01:11,237 ‪敬请大家有秩序地冲进商店购物 21 00:01:13,031 --> 00:01:16,326 ‪谁敢挡住我的去路 ‪我就一刀捅破他的肠子 22 00:01:17,202 --> 00:01:20,288 ‪以纪念耶稣的诞生 23 00:01:20,371 --> 00:01:23,041 ‪梅根 你看 圣诞节快到了 24 00:01:23,124 --> 00:01:26,169 ‪妈 她不懂英语 25 00:01:26,252 --> 00:01:28,338 ‪懂英语的是爱丽丝 26 00:01:28,421 --> 00:01:32,217 ‪凯文 今天我们一家人出来玩 ‪别想爱丽丝了 27 00:01:32,300 --> 00:01:34,511 ‪你听到你妈怎么说了 ‪好好沉浸在圣诞氛围里 28 00:01:34,594 --> 00:01:35,762 ‪我做不到 29 00:01:35,845 --> 00:01:37,972 ‪目光所及 都可以看到她的身影 30 00:01:38,056 --> 00:01:39,349 ‪她在那边 31 00:01:39,432 --> 00:01:40,391 ‪(逼逼乐队) 32 00:01:40,475 --> 00:01:41,518 ‪她在那边 33 00:01:42,102 --> 00:01:45,021 ‪天啊 她真的在那边! 34 00:01:45,105 --> 00:01:48,149 ‪爱丽丝 我好想念你发丝的味道 35 00:01:48,233 --> 00:01:51,361 ‪臭小子 你以后会想念 ‪你被砍下的头颅 36 00:01:52,946 --> 00:01:55,406 ‪-爱丽丝 ‪-还是我 臭小子 37 00:01:55,490 --> 00:01:58,493 ‪他没救了 ‪起码还有比利让我感到自豪 38 00:01:58,576 --> 00:02:00,578 ‪各位小子 快轮到我们上场了 39 00:02:00,662 --> 00:02:04,124 ‪记住 这些人很可能 ‪是你们的朋友和邻居 40 00:02:04,207 --> 00:02:06,167 ‪可是这些商店开门后 41 00:02:06,251 --> 00:02:08,795 ‪他们会为了省一块钱 ‪买一个会尿尿的玩具娃娃 42 00:02:08,878 --> 00:02:13,466 ‪把断一条腿的残障人士踩在脚下 43 00:02:13,550 --> 00:02:18,930 ‪一旦圣诞乐园开放后 ‪马上站到我们身后 44 00:02:19,013 --> 00:02:21,141 ‪好样的 比利 45 00:02:21,224 --> 00:02:23,643 ‪亲爱的 我想提早离开 46 00:02:23,726 --> 00:02:26,646 ‪我打算给你这个圣诞美女买礼物 47 00:02:26,729 --> 00:02:29,440 ‪得了吧 弗兰克 ‪你没打算血拼 别骗我了 48 00:02:29,524 --> 00:02:32,068 ‪你要去研究你刚发现的那把钥匙 ‪你这是在白费力气 49 00:02:32,152 --> 00:02:34,863 ‪苏 我保证这不是在白费力气 50 00:02:34,946 --> 00:02:36,823 ‪这叫水到渠成! 51 00:02:36,906 --> 00:02:38,366 ‪这把钥匙就是关键 52 00:02:38,449 --> 00:02:41,661 ‪上面写着“16”这个数字 ‪我只要找出匙孔在哪里就行了 53 00:02:41,744 --> 00:02:44,414 ‪弗兰克 ‪今天是我们一家人出来玩的日子 54 00:02:44,497 --> 00:02:45,915 ‪得了吧 到底谁在说笑? 55 00:02:45,999 --> 00:02:50,503 ‪我们都知道这个家最开心的时刻 ‪就是我踏出家门后 56 00:02:50,587 --> 00:02:52,172 ‪我听得到你们的欢呼声 57 00:02:52,255 --> 00:02:54,757 ‪今晚再见到你时 ‪事情已经迎刃而解了 58 00:02:54,841 --> 00:02:55,925 ‪别等我了 59 00:03:00,805 --> 00:03:02,098 ‪圣诞老人来了 60 00:03:02,182 --> 00:03:03,308 ‪圣诞老人 61 00:03:03,391 --> 00:03:06,311 ‪各位 圣诞快乐! 62 00:03:06,394 --> 00:03:09,105 ‪那犹太人怎么办 你这个冰屌? 63 00:03:09,189 --> 00:03:11,399 ‪爱丽丝 我在替你平反! 64 00:03:11,482 --> 00:03:12,984 ‪你在这里吗? 65 00:03:13,067 --> 00:03:17,447 ‪圣诞老人为各年龄层的小朋友 ‪准备一大袋礼物 66 00:03:17,530 --> 00:03:22,368 ‪就因为你穿着圣诞老人装 ‪口交就不用付钱了吗? 67 00:03:22,452 --> 00:03:24,204 ‪把袋子给我! 68 00:03:24,287 --> 00:03:28,791 ‪昆西 妈妈提早给你准备了圣诞礼物 ‪就像圣诞老人一样 早早就射了 69 00:03:28,875 --> 00:03:31,628 ‪你也答应过圣诞老人啪啪时 ‪会保持眼神交流的 70 00:03:31,711 --> 00:03:34,047 ‪但你从头到尾都没看过我一眼 71 00:03:34,756 --> 00:03:36,216 ‪有免费赠品! 72 00:03:36,299 --> 00:03:38,843 ‪好了 大家保持冷静 73 00:03:42,931 --> 00:03:45,725 ‪你们惹错小战士了 74 00:03:47,435 --> 00:03:50,230 ‪-放手 给我! ‪-这些野蛮人一年比一年凶猛 75 00:03:50,313 --> 00:03:54,192 ‪老板 放心吧 ‪铁锈城最出色的警察会保护你 76 00:03:54,275 --> 00:03:57,528 ‪小子们 我们过去了 学着点 77 00:04:00,448 --> 00:04:02,116 ‪这是我们第一次参与治暴行动 78 00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:04,035 ‪谢谢你 圣诞老人 79 00:04:18,591 --> 00:04:21,344 ‪(入伍通知书) 80 00:04:30,728 --> 00:04:32,063 ‪(逾期) 81 00:04:53,543 --> 00:04:54,752 {\an8}‪莫林 很好玩的 82 00:04:54,836 --> 00:04:58,631 {\an8}‪我们墨菲家的两个女人 ‪一起做女人爱做的事 83 00:04:58,715 --> 00:05:00,883 ‪我们去给你爸爸 ‪买些内裤当圣诞礼物吧 84 00:05:00,967 --> 00:05:02,010 ‪布丽奇特也来了 85 00:05:02,093 --> 00:05:04,012 {\an8}‪她能帮我让爸爸恢复正常 86 00:05:05,096 --> 00:05:06,723 ‪再见 妈妈 不用等我了 87 00:05:09,559 --> 00:05:11,894 ‪梅根 看来只剩下我们俩了 88 00:05:11,978 --> 00:05:13,730 ‪她听不懂英语 89 00:05:13,813 --> 00:05:16,024 ‪我知道 只是其他家人都离我而去了 90 00:05:16,107 --> 00:05:18,609 {\an8}‪你说要不要用魔眼 ‪来召唤我爷爷的灵魂? 91 00:05:18,693 --> 00:05:21,612 ‪我爸是不是在偷喷水池里的硬币? 92 00:05:23,865 --> 00:05:25,450 ‪天啊 是50美分! 93 00:05:25,533 --> 00:05:28,077 ‪我马上把你藏在安全的地方 94 00:05:29,287 --> 00:05:31,539 ‪总统先生 三天后见 95 00:05:33,374 --> 00:05:36,502 {\an8}‪求求你别再哭了 96 00:05:36,586 --> 00:05:41,007 ‪你搞得我彻夜未眠还不够吗? ‪求求你别再哭了 97 00:05:41,090 --> 00:05:42,675 ‪我愿意为你做任何事 98 00:05:42,759 --> 00:05:44,010 ‪我不介意杀了一个修女 99 00:05:44,093 --> 00:05:46,929 ‪微克 我来教一个小伎俩 100 00:05:50,433 --> 00:05:53,644 {\an8}‪我懂了 苏 就像卷烟草一样 101 00:05:53,728 --> 00:05:56,230 ‪或是用襁褓裹住宝宝的感觉 102 00:05:58,274 --> 00:06:01,152 ‪瞧瞧他们俩的好交情 ‪就像我和弗兰克一样 103 00:06:01,235 --> 00:06:02,779 ‪是啊 104 00:06:02,862 --> 00:06:06,282 {\an8}‪对了 待会儿有几个父母的朋友 ‪会带小宝宝到我家聚一聚 105 00:06:06,366 --> 00:06:08,284 {\an8}‪你和梅根也来凑凑热闹吧 106 00:06:08,368 --> 00:06:12,246 {\an8}‪维克 谢谢你的邀请 但我还是不去了 107 00:06:12,330 --> 00:06:15,333 {\an8}‪今天有很多事… 108 00:06:15,416 --> 00:06:17,502 ‪(前往夹楼层) 109 00:06:23,049 --> 00:06:24,092 ‪要跟家人一起做 110 00:06:24,175 --> 00:06:27,762 ‪是吗?忙着盯住自己的脚?好不热闹 111 00:06:27,845 --> 00:06:29,222 ‪克制点 112 00:06:31,516 --> 00:06:34,936 ‪那个年轻人打开 ‪他已故父亲留下的箱子后 113 00:06:35,019 --> 00:06:37,647 ‪发现里面有一张父亲写给他的纸条 114 00:06:37,730 --> 00:06:40,691 ‪“长大后 你的名字将会红遍全球” 115 00:06:41,651 --> 00:06:43,611 ‪那个年轻人叫什么名字呢? 116 00:06:43,694 --> 00:06:46,155 ‪人人称他为 ‪“那个杀害威廉·麦金莱的凶手” 117 00:06:46,239 --> 00:06:48,199 ‪好在是个无名小卒 118 00:06:48,282 --> 00:06:51,411 ‪接下来这首歌 ‪描述另一个寻找人生真谛的人 119 00:06:51,494 --> 00:06:55,206 ‪这是WKWBG频道 你人生的背景音乐 120 00:06:55,289 --> 00:06:56,290 ‪(银行) 121 00:06:58,709 --> 00:07:00,378 ‪(买卖、借贷) 122 00:07:12,348 --> 00:07:14,475 ‪(铁锈城车站) 123 00:07:14,559 --> 00:07:16,018 ‪(公交车停车区 不准停车) 124 00:07:19,856 --> 00:07:25,069 ‪我要买一张 ‪前往意大利人口较少的城市 125 00:07:25,153 --> 00:07:26,737 ‪那你是指罗马和纽约了 126 00:07:26,821 --> 00:07:28,573 ‪罗伯特 打算出城吗? 127 00:07:29,240 --> 00:07:32,994 ‪你忘了你还欠我一笔钱吗? 128 00:07:33,077 --> 00:07:36,747 ‪如果我说我忘了 ‪这笔债是不是就一笔勾销了? 129 00:07:37,665 --> 00:07:39,292 ‪不要 求你们饶了我吧 130 00:07:39,375 --> 00:07:41,794 ‪我的车票是不能退款的 131 00:07:42,462 --> 00:07:43,504 ‪搞什么? 132 00:07:44,755 --> 00:07:46,215 ‪狗娘养的 133 00:07:46,299 --> 00:07:48,426 ‪手放开 你这个流浪汉! 134 00:07:48,509 --> 00:07:51,679 ‪我不是流浪汉 ‪只是一个正在寻找人生真谛的灵魂 135 00:07:51,762 --> 00:07:54,932 ‪如果你不是来搭公车或是找男炮友的 136 00:07:55,016 --> 00:07:56,934 ‪麻烦你马上滚出我看守的公车站! 137 00:07:59,228 --> 00:08:02,940 ‪你不能拖走我的车 ‪我不是开着双闪灯吗? 138 00:08:03,024 --> 00:08:06,277 ‪这是“我去去就回来”的信号 ‪全世界通用! 139 00:08:09,155 --> 00:08:12,325 ‪即使你已经死了 ‪还是不断给我带来麻烦 140 00:08:12,867 --> 00:08:13,910 ‪(铁锈城警局) 141 00:08:13,993 --> 00:08:16,287 ‪今年在商场值班还真划算 142 00:08:16,370 --> 00:08:21,125 ‪没什么比一场让所有店长懂得 ‪警察劳苦的暴动更令我们欢喜了 143 00:08:21,209 --> 00:08:22,168 ‪(证物室) 144 00:08:22,251 --> 00:08:26,881 ‪-他们就这么把钱送给你们? ‪-送给我们?是我们应得的 145 00:08:26,964 --> 00:08:29,675 ‪你们几个小子知不知道 ‪一个人要在清晨3点截停一辆车 146 00:08:29,759 --> 00:08:33,846 ‪却不知道车窗另一端有什么危险 147 00:08:33,930 --> 00:08:36,682 ‪要有多大胆量吗? 148 00:08:36,766 --> 00:08:39,852 ‪你们理解那种下一刻 ‪可能再也见不到妻儿的感受吗? 149 00:08:39,936 --> 00:08:43,397 ‪我7点前就穿上睡衣准备睡觉了 ‪所以不理解 150 00:08:43,481 --> 00:08:47,818 ‪这是民众对我们过去一年的劳苦 ‪所表达的敬意 懂吗? 151 00:08:47,902 --> 00:08:49,654 ‪懂了 欧罗克警官 152 00:08:49,737 --> 00:08:53,157 ‪那以后如果我当上警察 ‪别人也会给我小费了? 153 00:08:53,241 --> 00:08:55,451 ‪你很可能活不到那一天 154 00:08:55,535 --> 00:08:59,080 ‪适逢圣诞佳节 请你们走进证物室 155 00:08:59,163 --> 00:09:01,832 ‪或是我们所谓的“礼物店” 156 00:09:02,792 --> 00:09:05,836 ‪你们几个家伙进去 157 00:09:05,920 --> 00:09:08,506 ‪从写着“无法采信”的箱子里 ‪挑一件礼物吧 158 00:09:09,173 --> 00:09:10,466 ‪只有枪不能拿! 159 00:09:10,550 --> 00:09:12,301 ‪枪是留给我们自家小孩的 160 00:09:12,385 --> 00:09:14,136 ‪-圣诞快乐 ‪-圣诞快乐 161 00:09:14,929 --> 00:09:17,473 ‪枫糖口味的香烟! 162 00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:22,270 ‪我是给科尔特·鲁格提供情报 ‪最后惨遭他人杀害的同伴 163 00:09:22,353 --> 00:09:24,313 ‪我弄到了卡通片! 164 00:09:24,397 --> 00:09:28,025 ‪这些胶片是在骗税案中被充公的 165 00:09:28,109 --> 00:09:30,987 ‪刻意不申请退税? 166 00:09:31,070 --> 00:09:33,698 ‪这是阿尔·卡彭才做得出的事 167 00:09:37,243 --> 00:09:39,245 ‪去把清单上的物品找来 168 00:09:39,328 --> 00:09:44,125 ‪我们就能召唤你死去爷爷的灵魂了 169 00:09:44,208 --> 00:09:46,669 ‪这看起来倒像你的购物清单 170 00:09:46,752 --> 00:09:52,675 ‪罐头汤、卫生纸、运动型内衣 ‪针筒、热狗? 171 00:09:52,758 --> 00:09:56,512 ‪还要是软香肠 鬼魂都讨厌硬香肠 172 00:09:56,596 --> 00:09:58,347 ‪这事对我来说很重要 173 00:09:58,431 --> 00:10:01,434 ‪我也是 我需要那个内衣 ‪我的乳头都快激突了 174 00:10:01,517 --> 00:10:04,854 ‪我不是闹着玩的 ‪我一定要跟我爷爷说话 175 00:10:05,438 --> 00:10:09,942 ‪我只有这个机会 ‪再次变回爸爸的小公主 176 00:10:10,026 --> 00:10:11,485 ‪真替你感到难过 177 00:10:11,569 --> 00:10:14,739 ‪好吧 你回去找些你爷爷的遗物过来 178 00:10:14,822 --> 00:10:17,491 ‪太阳下山后 到墓园找我 179 00:10:17,575 --> 00:10:21,078 ‪我们要召唤死不瞑目的鬼魂 180 00:10:22,622 --> 00:10:25,166 ‪只要给我买个热狗就行了 ‪面包甚至可以免了 181 00:10:28,336 --> 00:10:30,254 ‪梅根 很好玩吧? 182 00:10:30,921 --> 00:10:33,424 ‪妈 我找到工作了 ‪我获录用成为全职礼仪师助理 183 00:10:33,507 --> 00:10:34,884 ‪我懂你的心情 184 00:10:34,967 --> 00:10:36,969 ‪这都要感谢美国殡葬服务学院 185 00:10:37,053 --> 00:10:39,138 ‪宝宝就像大人 186 00:10:39,221 --> 00:10:40,514 ‪我不管了 187 00:10:41,724 --> 00:10:43,351 ‪苏 抱歉 是不是我们太吵了? 188 00:10:43,434 --> 00:10:46,479 ‪我会叫宝宝们克制一下 ‪他们的笑声音量 189 00:10:46,562 --> 00:10:49,065 ‪维克 其实我们是应邀来的 190 00:10:49,148 --> 00:10:51,984 ‪太好了 请把奶嘴儿放在碗里 进来吧 191 00:10:52,526 --> 00:10:53,694 ‪我觉得这点很好啊 192 00:10:53,778 --> 00:10:56,238 ‪各位 这位是苏·墨菲 193 00:10:56,322 --> 00:10:58,574 ‪苏 他们是我已经当爸妈的好朋友 194 00:10:58,658 --> 00:11:02,286 ‪他们分别是水沙发小子 ‪货车涂鸦小子、癞蛤蟆小子 195 00:11:02,370 --> 00:11:03,954 ‪还有他们漂亮的女伴 196 00:11:04,038 --> 00:11:05,206 ‪-嗨 ‪-嗨 197 00:11:05,289 --> 00:11:06,374 ‪你们好 198 00:11:06,457 --> 00:11:08,167 ‪这年头不少年纪轻轻的爸妈呢 199 00:11:08,250 --> 00:11:11,128 ‪我们都在同一时期有了宝宝 200 00:11:11,212 --> 00:11:13,047 ‪肯定是我们喝的水有问题 201 00:11:13,130 --> 00:11:17,635 ‪一、二、三 宝宝! 202 00:11:22,098 --> 00:11:23,724 ‪大麻都抽完了 203 00:11:23,808 --> 00:11:25,518 ‪我还是心里很不爽 204 00:11:26,435 --> 00:11:28,604 ‪你真让我失望! 205 00:11:30,523 --> 00:11:32,650 ‪凯文 别对宝宝这么粗鲁 206 00:11:32,733 --> 00:11:35,444 ‪它对你做错了什么? ‪它还帮你看到龙呢 不是吗? 207 00:11:35,528 --> 00:11:37,196 ‪对不起 208 00:11:37,279 --> 00:11:39,782 ‪我以为我和艾莉丝能够天长地久 209 00:11:39,865 --> 00:11:42,118 ‪那是不可能的 210 00:11:42,201 --> 00:11:45,371 ‪犹太女人通常会跟非犹太男人交往 211 00:11:45,454 --> 00:11:47,832 ‪但结婚都会找犹太人 212 00:11:47,915 --> 00:11:49,250 ‪不会吧?真的吗? 213 00:11:49,333 --> 00:11:53,879 ‪对啊 《塔木德》上就是这么写的 ‪我把希望都寄托在这本书上了 214 00:11:53,963 --> 00:11:57,341 ‪等桑迪·莫斯科维茨 ‪跟同年级的所有爱尔兰人和意大利人 215 00:11:57,425 --> 00:12:01,804 ‪上过床后 她就会找我结婚了 216 00:12:01,887 --> 00:12:04,473 ‪可惜你不是犹太人 217 00:12:04,557 --> 00:12:06,892 ‪真他妈的父母! 218 00:12:07,476 --> 00:12:08,936 ‪除非… 219 00:12:11,105 --> 00:12:11,939 ‪凯文? 220 00:12:12,022 --> 00:12:14,191 ‪“赫克努珀”先生 ‪你可以教我怎么在短时间内 221 00:12:14,275 --> 00:12:15,526 ‪变成犹太人吗? 222 00:12:17,987 --> 00:12:20,740 ‪提森先生 我们想在你手下做事 223 00:12:20,823 --> 00:12:22,032 ‪你是我们的偶像 224 00:12:22,116 --> 00:12:24,744 ‪你的电影带给我们人生启发 225 00:12:24,827 --> 00:12:25,953 ‪也是我们的性启蒙 226 00:12:26,036 --> 00:12:29,248 ‪你早期的作品彻底改变了 ‪“吞吐”的定义 227 00:12:29,331 --> 00:12:31,709 ‪你这句话对我而言意义重大 228 00:12:31,792 --> 00:12:34,962 ‪我们在老家的成人片商店 229 00:12:35,045 --> 00:12:38,883 ‪观赏你的经典作品 ‪《性爱大学》前两分钟不下两百遍 230 00:12:38,966 --> 00:12:44,096 ‪请容我们为你播放我们的原创成人片 ‪《校园啪啪乐》 231 00:12:45,139 --> 00:12:46,640 ‪好新颖的题材 232 00:12:46,724 --> 00:12:49,560 ‪让我有点性奋起来 233 00:12:49,643 --> 00:12:52,646 ‪听着 我在凡奈斯约了几个人群交 ‪我已经迟到了 好吗? 234 00:12:52,730 --> 00:12:55,065 ‪5点回来找我 如果我还活着 235 00:12:55,149 --> 00:12:58,319 ‪我们大可边吃尼斯沙拉 ‪边聊你们在色情行业的未来 236 00:12:58,402 --> 00:13:00,696 ‪“尼斯”在法语中是“小穴”的意思 237 00:13:01,697 --> 00:13:04,909 ‪苏 你忙得连接电话也没时间吗? ‪赶紧接电话 238 00:13:05,743 --> 00:13:08,496 ‪这是墨菲家 我们目前不在家 可是… 239 00:13:08,579 --> 00:13:12,249 ‪去你妈的 去你故作开朗的态度! ‪你明明恨死了那个电话! 240 00:13:12,333 --> 00:13:14,210 ‪天啊 你整个人生都是个骗局 241 00:13:14,293 --> 00:13:15,878 ‪-弗兰克·墨菲! ‪-斯莫奇! 242 00:13:15,961 --> 00:13:17,880 ‪不知道见到你该不该高兴 243 00:13:17,963 --> 00:13:19,590 ‪我的车被拖走了 244 00:13:19,673 --> 00:13:21,801 ‪你应该开着双闪灯才对 你也太蠢了 245 00:13:21,884 --> 00:13:24,011 ‪我从头到尾都开着双闪灯 246 00:13:24,094 --> 00:13:25,930 ‪别对着我大声嚷嚷 弗兰克·墨菲 247 00:13:26,680 --> 00:13:29,391 ‪对不起 斯莫奇 我气疯了 248 00:13:29,475 --> 00:13:31,685 ‪上车吧 我送你一程 249 00:13:31,769 --> 00:13:34,480 ‪汽车拘留场就在屠宰场旁边 250 00:13:36,524 --> 00:13:37,399 ‪(窝囊废) 251 00:13:37,483 --> 00:13:39,527 ‪那些宰奶牛的屠夫 ‪最爱吃花生巧克力棒了 252 00:13:39,610 --> 00:13:42,071 ‪没想到宰母牛也会让血糖飙升 253 00:13:42,154 --> 00:13:45,324 ‪说到血糖飙升 ‪帮我掌方向盘一下 我要… 254 00:13:45,407 --> 00:13:47,785 ‪-我要晕倒了 ‪-该死的 255 00:13:47,868 --> 00:13:51,330 ‪格兰尼警官太厉害了 ‪我真希望他是我老爸 256 00:13:51,413 --> 00:13:56,043 ‪听好 我以后不当神父了 ‪我现在的梦想是当警察 257 00:13:56,126 --> 00:13:58,379 ‪如果圣彼得不让我进天堂 258 00:13:58,462 --> 00:14:00,631 ‪我就悄悄把可卡因塞在他身上 259 00:14:00,714 --> 00:14:01,882 ‪天啊 260 00:14:01,966 --> 00:14:02,967 ‪你们瞧瞧 261 00:14:03,050 --> 00:14:06,428 ‪是《奴隶之歌》 ‪由普兰特森·阿莫斯主演 262 00:14:06,512 --> 00:14:08,430 ‪而且是塞·朱威森执导的作品 263 00:14:08,514 --> 00:14:10,724 ‪当奴隶肯定很悠闲了 264 00:14:10,808 --> 00:14:11,976 ‪我们进去看吧 265 00:14:12,059 --> 00:14:15,813 ‪这里就是让我爱上音乐剧的地方 266 00:14:16,438 --> 00:14:19,650 ‪我看了《欢乐满人间》 267 00:14:19,733 --> 00:14:23,028 ‪就撑开雨伞从屋顶往下跳 268 00:14:23,112 --> 00:14:26,657 ‪结果摔坏了骨盆 269 00:14:27,241 --> 00:14:29,827 ‪给我们三张票 我们是警察 270 00:14:29,910 --> 00:14:31,078 ‪(铁锈城警察 小警察) 271 00:14:31,161 --> 00:14:33,289 ‪真可爱 总共两块钱 272 00:14:33,372 --> 00:14:35,541 ‪搞什么?我们可是小警察 273 00:14:35,624 --> 00:14:37,585 ‪我们在外头为你们卖命呢 274 00:14:37,668 --> 00:14:41,130 ‪连还能不能 ‪再见到老婆孩子都是未知数 275 00:14:41,213 --> 00:14:43,632 ‪所以不应该跟我们收费 276 00:14:43,716 --> 00:14:45,259 ‪两块钱 277 00:14:45,342 --> 00:14:47,219 ‪我们没有两块钱 278 00:14:47,303 --> 00:14:49,054 ‪这个地方真他妈烂! 279 00:14:50,931 --> 00:14:52,391 ‪你知道我们能做什么吗? 280 00:14:52,474 --> 00:14:55,102 ‪放火烧掉整个电影院 281 00:14:55,185 --> 00:14:58,063 ‪我们要向自己表达敬意 282 00:14:58,147 --> 00:15:01,191 ‪我们可以放映你的卡通片 ‪给附近的小孩观看 并跟他们收费 283 00:15:01,275 --> 00:15:05,946 ‪我们要放映 ‪令人脑洞大开的无厘头动画片 284 00:15:06,030 --> 00:15:10,993 ‪我的蛋蛋卡住了 285 00:15:11,702 --> 00:15:13,829 ‪在1290年 286 00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:18,751 ‪爱德华一世将犹太人驱逐出英格兰 287 00:15:18,834 --> 00:15:22,296 ‪他将此事取名为《驱逐令》 288 00:15:22,379 --> 00:15:24,465 ‪犹太人则习以为常了 289 00:15:25,466 --> 00:15:27,551 ‪很精彩 但我有个疑问 290 00:15:27,635 --> 00:15:30,763 ‪如果我搞懂了“友”太教 ‪你说爱丽丝会不会跟我复合? 291 00:15:30,846 --> 00:15:32,264 ‪你说我去烫发好吗? 292 00:15:32,348 --> 00:15:34,642 ‪第一 是“犹”太教 不是“友”太教 293 00:15:34,725 --> 00:15:38,312 ‪第二 我要走路到教堂祈祷了 294 00:15:38,395 --> 00:15:42,274 ‪不过我可以给你一样东西 ‪像你这种年轻人 295 00:15:42,358 --> 00:15:44,193 ‪大可通过这本书来理解我们的信仰 296 00:15:44,276 --> 00:15:45,653 ‪(101个流行犹太段子) 297 00:15:45,736 --> 00:15:49,073 ‪“麻烦你带走我的老婆” 298 00:15:49,156 --> 00:15:50,407 ‪太棒了 299 00:15:50,491 --> 00:15:52,284 ‪“汉堡赫博”先生 300 00:15:52,368 --> 00:15:53,535 ‪其实我叫赫登沃瑟… 301 00:15:54,411 --> 00:15:55,788 ‪算了 302 00:15:55,871 --> 00:16:00,125 ‪这么说吧 如果过去三年以来 ‪如果你舔过癞蛤蟆 303 00:16:00,209 --> 00:16:03,921 ‪那只癞蛤蟆很有可能源自我的水箱 304 00:16:04,004 --> 00:16:08,217 ‪好的 话说你们的宝宝都在哪里? 305 00:16:08,300 --> 00:16:10,511 ‪他们在水沙发上玩耍 306 00:16:12,137 --> 00:16:16,183 ‪不行 你们不能把宝宝放在沙发上 ‪他们会摔倒的 307 00:16:16,266 --> 00:16:18,519 ‪难道要把他们放在 ‪堆满可卡因的桌面上? 308 00:16:18,602 --> 00:16:20,604 ‪那也不行 309 00:16:20,688 --> 00:16:23,524 ‪我只知道把宝宝放在桌椅上 ‪他们就不哭了 310 00:16:23,607 --> 00:16:26,694 ‪想让宝宝安静下来 ‪大可把他们放在地板上 311 00:16:28,195 --> 00:16:32,032 ‪-我从没想过这么做 ‪-这个女人真有一套 312 00:16:32,116 --> 00:16:33,742 ‪她有四个孩子了 313 00:16:35,619 --> 00:16:39,248 ‪你肯定很享受怀孕期间的每一刻 314 00:16:43,377 --> 00:16:46,547 ‪我以为这把钥匙属于某个地方的匙孔 315 00:16:46,630 --> 00:16:47,715 ‪结果不是 316 00:16:47,798 --> 00:16:50,801 ‪我可能永远都不知道 ‪我爸临死前想跟我说什么了 317 00:16:50,884 --> 00:16:52,803 ‪弗兰克 那也太难了 318 00:16:52,886 --> 00:16:55,180 ‪我的房子迟早被收费大道铲平 319 00:16:55,264 --> 00:16:57,933 ‪我的冰箱里只有几个洋葱 320 00:16:58,017 --> 00:17:01,937 ‪我有14个亲兄弟姐妹活不到20岁 321 00:17:02,021 --> 00:17:05,107 ‪今天早上 有个警察用枪指着我的头 322 00:17:05,190 --> 00:17:07,401 ‪威胁我说 ‪如果我不给一盒花生巧克力棒 323 00:17:07,484 --> 00:17:10,070 ‪他就会直接送我下地狱 324 00:17:10,154 --> 00:17:14,241 ‪你找不到那个匙孔 ‪我真替你感到难过啊 325 00:17:14,324 --> 00:17:15,784 ‪别闹了 那是我的钥匙 326 00:17:15,868 --> 00:17:18,620 ‪弗兰克·墨菲 ‪你的钥匙和烦恼算什么? 327 00:17:18,704 --> 00:17:20,289 ‪我送你去把车取回来 328 00:17:20,372 --> 00:17:22,666 ‪但你得先帮我 ‪去给贩卖机填满好时巧克力棒 329 00:17:22,750 --> 00:17:25,085 ‪然后我就会给你灌输一些智慧 330 00:17:25,169 --> 00:17:26,837 ‪(瓦拉奇收费大道 即将动工) 331 00:17:26,920 --> 00:17:28,172 ‪(唐詹迪兄弟公司 ‪拆除工程与橄榄油) 332 00:17:28,255 --> 00:17:31,467 ‪唐詹迪市长要摧毁你们的社区 333 00:17:31,550 --> 00:17:33,218 ‪目的只是为了报复我 334 00:17:33,302 --> 00:17:35,095 ‪我们能够轻易放过他吗? 335 00:17:35,179 --> 00:17:36,263 ‪不能! 336 00:17:36,346 --> 00:17:38,057 ‪-可能 ‪-闭嘴 雷吉 337 00:17:38,140 --> 00:17:41,977 ‪我想到了一个能够一劳永逸地阻断 ‪这项收费公路工程的方法 338 00:17:42,061 --> 00:17:44,313 ‪只要我们都签署这份请愿书 339 00:17:44,396 --> 00:17:47,983 ‪将康乐中心列为历史地标 事就成了 340 00:17:48,067 --> 00:17:50,986 ‪比赛诈分就是这样发明的 341 00:17:51,070 --> 00:17:53,489 ‪城里的有权发声! 342 00:17:54,865 --> 00:17:58,660 ‪我们要向市长 ‪清楚明确地传达我们的心声! 343 00:17:58,744 --> 00:18:01,330 ‪-闪开 ‪-我就是这个意思 叫他们闪开 344 00:18:01,413 --> 00:18:04,249 ‪-不是 我叫你闪开! ‪-搞什么鬼?该死的! 345 00:18:12,591 --> 00:18:15,344 ‪扬帆远行 感受微风 346 00:18:15,427 --> 00:18:19,598 ‪艳阳高照 岁月静好 347 00:18:19,681 --> 00:18:23,185 ‪你带宝宝的本事终于派上用场了 348 00:18:23,268 --> 00:18:25,437 ‪这个动作就像小宝宝的大麻 349 00:18:25,521 --> 00:18:26,730 ‪谢谢你的赞赏 350 00:18:27,856 --> 00:18:31,693 ‪这种双脚踩蹬的动作 ‪能够促进血液循环 351 00:18:31,777 --> 00:18:33,695 ‪小宝宝做起来也很可爱 352 00:18:35,072 --> 00:18:36,573 ‪我从没想过这么做 353 00:18:36,657 --> 00:18:39,952 ‪真是令人大开眼界 ‪之后我们还要做什么? 354 00:18:40,035 --> 00:18:42,412 ‪可以把宝宝翻过去 355 00:18:43,622 --> 00:18:45,499 ‪天啊! 356 00:18:45,582 --> 00:18:48,293 ‪-斯莫奇 你不懂的 ‪-我懂的可多了 357 00:18:48,377 --> 00:18:50,170 ‪你感到内疚 358 00:18:50,254 --> 00:18:53,549 ‪只因为你爸临死前在某个地方 ‪给你留下了一个箱子 359 00:18:53,632 --> 00:18:54,883 ‪但那并不意味着什么啊 360 00:18:54,967 --> 00:18:58,178 ‪我觉得如果找不到那个东西 ‪我就会失去前进的动力 361 00:18:58,262 --> 00:19:02,057 ‪也许那个东西能够解释 ‪我爸生前为什么对我这么恶劣 362 00:19:03,600 --> 00:19:07,020 ‪我这就跟你说我哥临刑前说了什么吧 363 00:19:07,104 --> 00:19:11,024 ‪他死前说的最后一句话是: ‪“狱警先生 等着看你自己笑话吧 364 00:19:11,108 --> 00:19:13,193 ‪我从保释听证会到现在都没拉过屎” 365 00:19:14,111 --> 00:19:16,780 ‪但在那之前 我哥曾经撂下一句话 366 00:19:17,489 --> 00:19:20,409 ‪“不要成为过去的囚徒 367 00:19:20,492 --> 00:19:23,078 ‪有些事是改变不了的 368 00:19:23,162 --> 00:19:25,164 ‪你只是想要撕开一道 369 00:19:25,247 --> 00:19:27,207 ‪永远无法痊愈的伤口 370 00:19:27,291 --> 00:19:30,127 ‪那个伤口会结痂 ‪你看了想要把痂皮挖破 371 00:19:30,210 --> 00:19:32,254 ‪结果伤口越来越深 痂皮越来越大 372 00:19:32,337 --> 00:19:34,590 ‪搞得全身都结痂 373 00:19:34,673 --> 00:19:39,178 ‪等你意识过来时 ‪已经被医生和四个护士绑在床上 374 00:19:39,261 --> 00:19:41,972 ‪他们不断往你身上扎针 ‪缓解你的痛苦 375 00:19:42,055 --> 00:19:44,433 ‪接着你开始对那种药上瘾 376 00:19:44,516 --> 00:19:47,519 ‪然后跟踪那个医生回家 ‪以取得更多药 377 00:19:47,603 --> 00:19:51,690 ‪他跟你说他从不把药放在家里 ‪你就杀了他 真蠢 378 00:19:51,773 --> 00:19:53,817 ‪最后你被绑在电椅上 379 00:19:53,901 --> 00:19:58,030 ‪肚子里装满最后一餐的辣椒 ‪等着把屎喷发在狱警身上” 380 00:19:58,113 --> 00:19:59,656 ‪(闲人免进 切勿堵门) 381 00:20:00,282 --> 00:20:03,076 ‪弗兰克 你的车就在这边 ‪这是你的钥匙 382 00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:06,872 ‪如果你够聪明 ‪你会意识到那个匙孔并不重要 383 00:20:18,550 --> 00:20:19,426 ‪(超低价出售) 384 00:20:19,509 --> 00:20:25,515 ‪准备好观赏这些未曾公映 ‪从警局证物室新鲜出炉 385 00:20:25,599 --> 00:20:28,644 ‪未经授权 ‪并由瞌睡驴拉米雷斯主演的卡通片 386 00:20:28,727 --> 00:20:30,896 ‪除了负责描绘这些动画的孟加拉儿童 387 00:20:30,979 --> 00:20:35,192 ‪你们是第一批 ‪有幸观赏到这些片子的小朋友 388 00:20:35,275 --> 00:20:37,527 ‪准备好看些好玩的东西了吗? 389 00:20:42,324 --> 00:20:45,410 {\an8}‪威廉·墨菲的幽灵 390 00:20:45,494 --> 00:20:48,205 ‪我们从痛苦的炼狱中召唤的你上来 391 00:20:48,288 --> 00:20:53,168 {\an8}‪告诉我们 ‪你临死前到底想跟爸爸说什么? 392 00:20:53,252 --> 00:20:58,131 ‪也告诉我们 如果两个天使做爱 ‪他们会不会爆炸 变成一颗星星? 393 00:20:58,215 --> 00:20:59,508 ‪比尔爷爷 394 00:20:59,591 --> 00:21:02,135 ‪-我们召唤你! ‪-我们召唤你! 395 00:21:04,304 --> 00:21:05,973 ‪爷爷 是你吗? 396 00:21:08,016 --> 00:21:11,812 ‪天啊 他的灵魂在炼狱中受苦 397 00:21:15,190 --> 00:21:16,316 ‪挖好了 398 00:21:16,858 --> 00:21:18,986 ‪看来我们扯平了吧 399 00:21:19,069 --> 00:21:21,571 ‪你们真好 只让我挖个洞 400 00:21:21,655 --> 00:21:25,200 ‪来抵消我的千万美元债务 401 00:21:25,284 --> 00:21:27,369 ‪你打算在这边建一座喷水池吗? 402 00:21:27,911 --> 00:21:29,997 ‪罗伯特 你应该还钱才对的 403 00:21:30,080 --> 00:21:34,418 ‪你们不能在这里杀了我 ‪不会有人发现的! 404 00:21:34,501 --> 00:21:36,628 ‪原来宝宝不能吃鸡骨 405 00:21:36,712 --> 00:21:38,964 ‪我们从你身上学到太多了 406 00:21:39,047 --> 00:21:40,924 ‪这种活动可以每星期办一次吗? 407 00:21:41,008 --> 00:21:44,052 ‪如果你们认为我帮得上忙 ‪我大可抽空过来 408 00:21:44,136 --> 00:21:45,637 ‪我会给你应有的酬劳 409 00:21:45,721 --> 00:21:47,306 ‪苏 你带孩子很有一手 410 00:21:47,389 --> 00:21:50,475 ‪我想给你一样珍贵的东西 411 00:21:50,559 --> 00:21:52,686 ‪65美元 412 00:21:52,769 --> 00:21:54,229 ‪不用 没必要 413 00:21:54,313 --> 00:21:55,522 ‪我的钱不多 414 00:21:55,605 --> 00:21:58,859 ‪但如果你想在车身上做色情涂鸦 ‪不妨来找我 415 00:21:58,942 --> 00:22:01,194 ‪我的专长是大胸维京女战士 416 00:22:01,278 --> 00:22:03,530 ‪大胸飞龙也难不倒我 417 00:22:03,613 --> 00:22:06,533 ‪这是柬埔寨树蛙 418 00:22:06,616 --> 00:22:08,160 ‪送你的 419 00:22:08,243 --> 00:22:10,537 ‪添一下 然后看《泽普鲁德影片》 420 00:22:10,620 --> 00:22:12,998 ‪你就会找到答案了 凶手是杰奎琳 421 00:22:13,081 --> 00:22:17,461 ‪天啊 谢了 我在努力戒掉这个习惯 422 00:22:20,922 --> 00:22:22,132 ‪搞什么鬼? 423 00:22:22,758 --> 00:22:26,178 ‪求你们别开枪 我不能就这么走了 424 00:22:26,261 --> 00:22:30,265 ‪有个吉普赛人告诉我 ‪我会死在太空针塔上或太空针塔附近 425 00:22:30,349 --> 00:22:33,101 ‪不要! 426 00:22:33,185 --> 00:22:35,270 ‪-我们惹怒我爷爷了 ‪-不要! 427 00:22:35,354 --> 00:22:36,813 ‪-我们错了 ‪-不要! 428 00:22:36,897 --> 00:22:39,066 ‪-别临阵退缩 好吗? ‪-不要! 429 00:22:39,149 --> 00:22:40,525 ‪放我出去! 430 00:22:40,609 --> 00:22:44,029 {\an8}‪-不理你了 胆小鬼 ‪-等等我 431 00:22:44,112 --> 00:22:45,864 {\an8}‪(比尔·墨菲的私人物件) 432 00:22:49,951 --> 00:22:51,411 ‪再见了 我的朋友 433 00:22:53,372 --> 00:22:57,709 ‪是我们以前干掉的马戏团侏儒 ‪他们的鬼魂从同一个墓穴里出来了! 434 00:22:59,669 --> 00:23:01,505 ‪膝盖受击真的好痛! 435 00:23:04,299 --> 00:23:06,093 ‪对不起 436 00:23:06,176 --> 00:23:08,178 ‪我一定会抓到你的! 437 00:23:08,261 --> 00:23:10,889 ‪你松垮垮的屁股是我的! 438 00:23:11,431 --> 00:23:15,435 ‪当上帝赐予我们祝福和恩泽时 439 00:23:15,519 --> 00:23:17,437 ‪记住这一点 440 00:23:17,521 --> 00:23:19,398 ‪不要跟别人分享 441 00:23:21,274 --> 00:23:24,945 ‪他每星期都说同一个段子 ‪但每次听起来还是很好笑 442 00:23:25,028 --> 00:23:27,114 ‪测试 一、二、三 443 00:23:27,197 --> 00:23:31,326 ‪-非犹太姑娘芬芳扑鼻 ‪-凯文? 444 00:23:32,035 --> 00:23:33,120 ‪-天啊 ‪-凯文 445 00:23:33,203 --> 00:23:37,666 ‪爱丽丝 还有你的族人 ‪大家好 可喜可贺 446 00:23:38,333 --> 00:23:41,962 ‪我知道我给你惹了不少麻烦 447 00:23:42,045 --> 00:23:46,216 ‪不知道你能不能 ‪大人不计小人过 原谅我? 448 00:23:46,299 --> 00:23:52,097 ‪如果能得到你的原谅 ‪我很乐意开车接送你上下学 449 00:23:52,180 --> 00:23:55,267 ‪你甚至不用给我撸管子 450 00:23:55,350 --> 00:23:56,601 ‪你在干什么? 451 00:23:56,685 --> 00:23:59,479 ‪-他在为给你弟造成心理创伤而道… ‪-闭嘴 老爸! 452 00:23:59,563 --> 00:24:01,064 ‪爱丽丝 我爱你 453 00:24:01,148 --> 00:24:02,607 ‪我不会再纠缠你 454 00:24:02,691 --> 00:24:04,234 ‪我不是闹着玩的 455 00:24:04,317 --> 00:24:06,403 ‪求你跟我复合吧 456 00:24:09,656 --> 00:24:11,616 ‪是戈仑! 457 00:24:14,244 --> 00:24:15,579 ‪莫林? 458 00:24:15,662 --> 00:24:17,330 ‪我操! 459 00:24:19,458 --> 00:24:21,793 ‪别担心 没事了 我刚刚唱到哪里? 460 00:24:21,877 --> 00:24:25,213 ‪爱丽丝 我天天想你 461 00:24:25,297 --> 00:24:26,590 ‪(铁锈城平安堂) 462 00:24:27,549 --> 00:24:30,844 ‪谁做了这种亵渎上帝的事? 463 00:24:30,927 --> 00:24:34,431 ‪我不是故意的 ‪我只是听从了赫登沃瑟先生的意见 464 00:24:36,057 --> 00:24:39,227 ‪偏偏这个时候叫对我的名字? 465 00:24:39,311 --> 00:24:42,564 ‪今天玩得很开心吧? 466 00:24:44,816 --> 00:24:46,651 ‪该死的小孩! 467 00:24:46,735 --> 00:24:48,695 ‪以为电是免费的吗? 468 00:24:48,778 --> 00:24:50,363 ‪提森先生 请看 469 00:24:50,447 --> 00:24:52,365 ‪我们花了好几个星期摄制 470 00:24:52,449 --> 00:24:55,535 ‪还从一个非正规警察突袭行动中 ‪把它赎回来了 471 00:24:55,619 --> 00:24:57,370 ‪如今这部影片落入你手中 472 00:24:57,454 --> 00:25:00,332 ‪赶紧打开润滑剂涂满老二吧 473 00:25:00,415 --> 00:25:04,461 ‪我们隆重为你呈现《校园啪啪乐》 474 00:25:06,046 --> 00:25:08,048 ‪(瞌睡驴拉米雷斯) 475 00:25:08,131 --> 00:25:09,424 ‪(风中打盹记) 476 00:25:09,508 --> 00:25:11,384 ‪色情动画片 477 00:25:12,093 --> 00:25:13,762 ‪一定会在日本大火 478 00:25:13,845 --> 00:25:17,182 ‪如果这是卡通片 ‪那《校园啪啪乐》跑哪儿去了? 479 00:25:17,807 --> 00:25:19,851 ‪“爽插”教授 480 00:25:19,935 --> 00:25:24,523 ‪我迟到了 ‪肯定有什么办法可以补偿吧 481 00:25:24,606 --> 00:25:27,567 ‪我要把你“插入”纪律组 482 00:25:31,571 --> 00:25:32,906 ‪比尔! 483 00:25:32,989 --> 00:25:34,241 ‪这是什么鬼? 484 00:25:35,867 --> 00:25:37,035 ‪-爸爸! ‪-比尔! 485 00:25:37,994 --> 00:25:39,579 ‪苏 不要看! 486 00:25:39,663 --> 00:25:42,791 ‪你爸脸上有个一刀未剪的大屌! 487 00:25:42,874 --> 00:25:45,085 ‪不要啊 拿开! 488 00:25:55,762 --> 00:25:56,888 ‪我活不下去了 489 00:25:58,473 --> 00:25:59,766 ‪我活不下去了 490 00:26:01,226 --> 00:26:03,270 ‪你在这里干什么? 491 00:26:03,353 --> 00:26:07,315 ‪这是怀疑人生时专用的桥! 492 00:26:07,399 --> 00:26:08,858 ‪嗨 罗西 493 00:26:09,359 --> 00:26:12,445 ‪今晚最不可思议的事情发生了 494 00:26:13,488 --> 00:26:15,574 ‪我竟然跑得动! 495 00:26:18,952 --> 00:26:21,746 ‪我后悔刚刚没收下那只树蛙 496 00:26:21,830 --> 00:26:24,749 ‪真想舔一下 497 00:26:24,833 --> 00:26:27,335 ‪我现在无法去解读任何隐喻 好吗? 498 00:26:27,419 --> 00:26:29,671 ‪刚刚个大屌投影在我脸上 499 00:26:30,422 --> 00:26:32,465 ‪-嗨 爸爸、妈妈 ‪-又来了一个麻烦 500 00:26:32,549 --> 00:26:36,094 ‪待会儿有个拉比会打电话给你们 501 00:26:36,177 --> 00:26:39,639 ‪你们只要知道一件事 他是个骗子 502 00:26:43,059 --> 00:26:46,021 {\an8}‪(谨以此片纪念编剧兼行政制片人 ‪戴维·理查森) 503 00:26:46,688 --> 00:26:48,982 ‪这是墨菲家 我们目前不在家 504 00:26:49,065 --> 00:26:52,152 ‪可是你可以想办法用这个玩意留言 505 00:26:52,235 --> 00:26:53,528 ‪请便 506 00:26:54,904 --> 00:26:59,534 ‪你好 我是摩西·费因斯坦拉比 ‪来自铁锈城平安堂 507 00:26:59,618 --> 00:27:03,163 ‪今天是安息日 按照犹太教教义 ‪我本来不允许在今天打电话的 508 00:27:03,246 --> 00:27:05,373 ‪但有个非犹太籍消防员… 509 00:27:05,457 --> 00:27:07,792 ‪说白了 所有消防员都不是犹太人 510 00:27:07,876 --> 00:27:10,086 ‪这个非犹太籍消防员 ‪刚刚给我打了电话 511 00:27:10,170 --> 00:27:13,465 ‪上帝可以赦免很多罪 ‪但纵火罪是例外 512 00:27:13,548 --> 00:27:15,967 ‪尤其是反犹太主义者犯下的纵火罪 513 00:27:16,051 --> 00:27:17,677 ‪与林火不同 514 00:27:17,761 --> 00:27:23,141 ‪你儿子今晚造成的火患 ‪烧毁了我教堂前院的绿茵草坪 515 00:27:23,224 --> 00:27:24,434 ‪以及教堂的门匾 516 00:27:24,517 --> 00:27:27,520 ‪那个门匾是小萨米·戴维斯赞助的 517 00:27:27,604 --> 00:27:29,648 ‪当年他在我的帮助下 ‪放下黑人身份 皈依犹太教 518 00:27:29,731 --> 00:27:32,025 ‪字幕翻译:张庆龄