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‪NETFLIX 原創影集

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‪歡迎參加第19屆
‪半年一度羅斯蘭市感恩節遊行

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‪（遊行花車司機
‪身上現金不到20美元）

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‪而這場遊行絕對不能沒有

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‪美國人最愛的懶散卡通人物

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‪超睏拉米雷茲

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‪趣味小知識
‪它是今天遊行中唯一構造正確的氣球

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‪這驢子充過氦氣的器官

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‪大到能裝757公升乳膠漆

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‪你爛透了，雷

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‪你到底會不會主持大會啊

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‪象鼻別碰我的屁股，那裡沒有花生

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‪要不是為了上帝的恩典

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‪加上對孕婦沒有控制不住的性慾

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‪我才不來

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‪歡迎受人信賴的市議員

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‪（搶救第12選區，停建收費公路）

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{\an8}‪（瓊西羅斯福市議員）

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{\an8}‪可惡的市長整人嘛
‪他把我的桿弟給女工友用

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{\an8}‪在俄羅斯，我是小兒腫瘤醫師

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{\an8}‪（衛生專員）

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‪我的花車是臉上有老二的男生

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‪就像那個男孩，你必須欣然接受

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‪黑臉扮裝秀該上場了

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‪感恩節快樂

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‪停建收費公路，搶救第12選區

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‪混蛋，你的花車早上撞我第三次了！

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‪你別阻礙進步，可能就不會發生了

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‪（收費公路，一毛一毛創建未來）

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‪你的進步會讓我的人流落街頭
‪他們都痛恨你

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{\an8}‪看他們拿到
‪我的“收費公路火雞”後感受如何吧

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{\an8}‪人人都有市長致贈的火雞

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‪謝謝市長先生，我們愛你

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‪進步真是可口

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‪他在挑撥人民對我的愛戴

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‪田詹堤市長愛殘廢

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‪現在我看不到了

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‪但我能聞到漂亮火雞的香味

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‪王八蛋

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{\an8}‪（兵單）

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{\an8}‪（過期）

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‪越過河流、穿越樹林

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{\an8}‪（關，大，中）

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{\an8}‪我們前往奶奶家

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{\an8}‪馬兒知道拉雪橇的方向

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{\an8}‪穿越白色飄雪

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{\an8}‪越過河流、穿越樹林，風兒狂吹

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{\an8}‪在我們於地面前行時
‪風兒讓腳趾與鼻子刺痛，讚

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{\an8}‪完美

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{\an8}‪真希望我有這種好老婆

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{\an8}‪天啊

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{\an8}‪別再亂搞我的邪惡之眼了

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{\an8}‪別再拒捕了

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{\an8}‪該死下地獄

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{\an8}‪對不起，孩子們

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{\an8}‪這個感恩節對我來說很重要

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{\an8}‪在我準備的當兒，你們別來惹我

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{\an8}‪你們不能乖乖待好
‪就幫我一個忙，去煩爸爸吧

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‪他在喝啤酒睡早覺

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{\an8}‪今晚在足球賽後

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{\an8}‪將播出ABS感恩節特別節目

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{\an8}‪為您請來《寇特魯格》

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{\an8}‪《布魯斯又來了》

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{\an8}‪《警察條子》

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{\an8}‪《海灘魔術醫師》

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{\an8}‪《我的狗總統》等劇中明星

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{\an8}‪以及農業部長厄爾巴茲

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{\an8}‪法蘭克

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‪最後以特技傳奇
‪小巴斯特桑德回歸作結

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‪這醫生說我再也別想打了

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‪現在誰才是醫生？

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‪法蘭克，你睡著了嗎？

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‪-我又懷孕了
‪-他媽的才怪

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‪看看這一團亂
‪我爸媽來的時候，房子得一塵不染

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‪像是沒住人一樣

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‪親愛的，別緊張
‪別給自己太大壓力

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‪沒辦法，今天真的讓我擔心

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‪我好不容易
‪才能讓我爸跟路易斯見面

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‪出差錯就再也不會有機會了

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‪我了解，親愛的，我願意盡力幫妳

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‪你能帶寶寶去商店買蔓越莓醬嗎？

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‪天啊，蘇，商店會兵荒馬亂

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‪不管我們缺什麼
‪妳一定還做了很多有的沒的給大家吃

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‪比爾和莫琳毀了我爸最愛的蔓越莓

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‪妳爸毀了我愛的一切

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‪拜託？

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‪好吧

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‪我去買

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‪你們搗蛋的懲罰
‪就是跟老爸共度好時光

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‪-不公平
‪-不公平

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‪什麼他媽的假日

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‪我不得不開我爸的車
‪因為裡面有“安全座椅”

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‪我們現在太寵溺寶寶了

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‪該死的座椅
‪這蠢東西怎麼扣不起來？

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‪哇靠

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‪我們不用跟媽說這件事

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‪我有什麼好處？

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‪-你喜歡聖誕節嗎？
‪-喜歡

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‪-你想活著再過一次節嗎？
‪-想

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‪那就給我閉嘴，幫我弄寶寶座椅

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‪快點，愛麗絲，接電話

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‪沒人在家，請在嗶聲後

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‪留言給高曼家

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‪愛麗絲，我是凱文墨菲…

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‪妳的男朋友

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‪妳在嗎？拜託接電話

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‪那天晚上的事很抱歉
‪妳變得怪怪的，我只知道…

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‪-凱文？
‪-愛麗絲，我愛妳

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‪我知道妳很氣我，但我們用妳的胸部
‪玩“親親遊戲”就沒事了

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‪-這是你媽
‪-天啊

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‪妳在愛麗絲家做什麼？
‪妳們在談論我嗎？

112
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‪趕快給我掛電話，我才能打給鄰居

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‪跟他們說幾點過來喝咖啡吃蛋糕

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‪媽，妳聽起來像神經病

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‪妳叫愛麗絲聽電話好嗎？

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‪媽？

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‪艾文？

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‪掛掉電話

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‪電話有招惹妳嗎？

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‪你把床弄皺了，我晚點要穿大衣

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‪對不起
‪我被重力影響了，妳要我怎樣？

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‪太爛了

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‪我打算一整天悶悶不樂

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‪然後再放一點肉桂

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‪這就是傳統感恩節祕方

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‪阿拉嘎巴恰拉古扁寬麵

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‪嘿，老兄

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‪我要說，彼提，你媽在家嗎？

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‪她正在忙，你跟平常看起來不一樣

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‪你眼中的興奮不見了

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‪那是因為我停止服用
‪讓我保持活力的“特殊維他命”了

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‪你是說二級毒品嗎？

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‪對

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‪好了，小傢伙，你冷靜一下好嗎？

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‪你讓爸爸很辛苦

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‪聽著，彼提，我有麻煩

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‪我現在得獨自照顧兒子
‪因為他媽跟聖誕小精靈跑了

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‪我能問你媽
‪要怎麼讓煩躁的寶寶乖乖吃東西嗎？

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‪她從來沒有過這種麻煩

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‪妳知道嗎？

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‪妳知道嗎？

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‪妳知道嗎？

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‪妳在感恩節胃口特別大

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‪我都感覺得到妳的扁桃腺腫起來了

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‪我有一次去提華納
‪特地花了30披索看這個

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‪再也不看了

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‪我不懂為什麼
‪我們得全部出門，好讓媽發瘋

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‪她沒瘋，只是在做瘋事，好嗎？

149
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‪這對她來說很重要

150
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‪所以你們得多幫她，拿出禮貌

151
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‪別再吵女友的事

152
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‪如果她說爺爺得腦瘤快死了也別難過

153
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‪爺爺快死了？

154
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‪沒有，但路易斯舅舅以為他是

155
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‪他為什麼會這麼想？

156
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‪因為你媽跟他這麼說的

157
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‪她為什麼要跟他這麼說？

158
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‪因為她瘋了
‪人愛一個人時會做出怪事

159
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‪就像是你對著比爾爺爺
‪寫著91的盒子大哭嗎？

160
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‪我還是認為那有可能是16

161
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‪而且可能有意義

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‪該死

163
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‪這是什麼鬼？

164
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‪看來遊行還在進行

165
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‪他媽的感恩節

166
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‪回家吃飯吧，混蛋

167
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‪（皮皮餐廳盛大開幕）

168
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‪快來皮皮餐廳

169
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‪你不會嚇死的，否則退錢

170
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‪-其他部位呢？
‪-在垃圾桶裡

171
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‪收費公路火雞

172
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‪人人都有火雞

173
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‪-謝謝市長先生，我們愛你
‪-別再搶我的生意了

174
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‪他們應該由我來餵飽才對

175
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‪正中假奶

176
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‪只有我才能打我的女人

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‪爛雞別過來

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‪去你的，我要用火雞打你孫子

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‪不

180
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‪我的三週美夢

181
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‪好了，完美

182
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‪該死

183
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‪少校，不要，少校

184
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‪忍住…寶貝

185
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‪哈囉，寶貝

186
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‪這是好兆頭

187
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‪嗨，媽，爸，抱歉…

188
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‪沒事，進來

189
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‪妳丈夫在哪裡？

190
00:10:10,318 --> 00:10:13,279
‪他在失望工廠找到新工作了？

191
00:10:13,362 --> 00:10:17,325
‪沒有，他帶孩子們去雜貨店
‪買你喜歡的蔓越莓

192
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‪說到特殊水果罐頭…

193
00:10:21,829 --> 00:10:26,125
‪好了，史丹
‪你保證會給路易斯好臉色的

194
00:10:26,208 --> 00:10:29,420
‪他今天要過來很有心

195
00:10:29,503 --> 00:10:32,632
‪好吧，如果他敢頂嘴

196
00:10:32,715 --> 00:10:37,053
‪我們在四川皇宮有備案訂位

197
00:10:37,136 --> 00:10:39,430
‪他們的白米很好吃

198
00:10:39,513 --> 00:10:42,183
‪完全沒有味道

199
00:10:42,266 --> 00:10:45,311
‪（普朗普）

200
00:10:45,394 --> 00:10:48,648
‪58、59、60

201
00:10:48,731 --> 00:10:51,525
‪61、62

202
00:10:51,609 --> 00:10:54,111
‪等等，那是腳趾甲，還給我

203
00:10:54,195 --> 00:10:57,073
‪小姐，妳可以快一點嗎？
‪我的寶寶在車上

204
00:10:57,156 --> 00:10:59,367
‪我也有地方要去

205
00:10:59,450 --> 00:11:02,328
‪屁啦，妳在感恩節買貓食

206
00:11:04,580 --> 00:11:08,167
‪-嘿，古莫，火雞節快樂
‪-嘿，維克，你…

207
00:11:08,250 --> 00:11:09,794
‪你怎麼來了？

208
00:11:09,877 --> 00:11:14,340
‪擔心昨晚野生動物
‪在你的走道留下什麼驚喜嗎？

209
00:11:14,423 --> 00:11:17,551
‪沒有，從大便看來
‪牠不會再待太久了

210
00:11:17,635 --> 00:11:20,304
‪牠的內心遭到吞噬，懂我的意思嗎？

211
00:11:20,388 --> 00:11:22,431
‪裡面就像有外星人

212
00:11:23,265 --> 00:11:27,019
‪我需要建議，好讓小維克安靜下來

213
00:11:27,103 --> 00:11:28,354
‪你們有小孩吧？

214
00:11:30,606 --> 00:11:32,858
‪不，維克，我們沒有

215
00:11:32,942 --> 00:11:35,152
‪我們恐怕幫不了你

216
00:11:38,698 --> 00:11:41,158
‪天啊，我不知道還能去哪裡

217
00:11:41,242 --> 00:11:43,577
‪我去敲過切特家的門，但他沒應

218
00:11:43,661 --> 00:11:45,246
‪讓我試著安撫他吧

219
00:11:45,329 --> 00:11:49,041
‪-沒關係，伊芙琳，不用麻煩
‪-我已經在做了

220
00:11:49,125 --> 00:11:51,544
‪好了，我會照顧你

221
00:11:51,627 --> 00:11:54,797
‪謝謝，你們兩個人真好

222
00:11:56,382 --> 00:11:58,759
‪對啊

223
00:11:59,969 --> 00:12:02,722
‪再過四小時，小巴斯特桑德

224
00:12:02,805 --> 00:12:06,517
‪就要飛越寬闊的洛杉磯河

225
00:12:06,600 --> 00:12:09,854
‪這裡流有好萊塢大明星的廢物

226
00:12:09,937 --> 00:12:13,733
‪所以妳的哥哥呢？

227
00:12:13,816 --> 00:12:16,152
‪他可能在巴士站被捕

228
00:12:16,235 --> 00:12:17,570
‪-又來了
‪-爸

229
00:12:17,653 --> 00:12:21,782
‪抱歉我哪壺不開提哪壺

230
00:12:21,866 --> 00:12:23,117
‪嗨，爸

231
00:12:24,285 --> 00:12:25,369
‪路易斯

232
00:12:25,453 --> 00:12:28,080
‪兒子，希望你沒聽到

233
00:12:28,164 --> 00:12:32,126
‪你爸剛剛對你的可怕批評

234
00:12:32,209 --> 00:12:33,294
‪我聽到了

235
00:12:37,757 --> 00:12:38,758
‪-什麼…
‪-我愛你

236
00:12:39,925 --> 00:12:41,469
‪我也原諒你

237
00:12:41,552 --> 00:12:44,305
‪好熱情的問候

238
00:12:44,388 --> 00:12:48,893
‪我知道我不該說什麼的，但你好勇敢

239
00:12:48,976 --> 00:12:50,144
‪勇敢？

240
00:12:50,227 --> 00:12:52,354
‪我才不怕染病

241
00:12:52,438 --> 00:12:54,398
‪別碰這個刮傷的指節就好

242
00:12:55,065 --> 00:12:57,109
‪太好了

243
00:12:57,193 --> 00:12:59,653
‪對，太棒了，來杯香料紅酒如何？

244
00:12:59,737 --> 00:13:02,114
‪我希望我們好好相處，兒子

245
00:13:02,198 --> 00:13:05,326
‪我的胃為此翻騰了好久

246
00:13:05,409 --> 00:13:08,662
‪-轉移到你的胃了？
‪-你們看，是除臭劑廣告

247
00:13:08,746 --> 00:13:11,040
‪-圖爾特陶布
‪-父子

248
00:13:11,123 --> 00:13:13,125
‪你腋下的好幫手

249
00:13:17,338 --> 00:13:19,882
‪妳真是天生好手

250
00:13:19,965 --> 00:13:22,551
‪我每天晚上用狗練習

251
00:13:22,635 --> 00:13:24,804
‪原來狗狗不需要固體食物

252
00:13:24,887 --> 00:13:26,138
‪很酷

253
00:13:26,222 --> 00:13:29,099
‪所以妳是怎麼讓他靜下來的？

254
00:13:29,183 --> 00:13:32,228
‪要是我告訴你
‪你就不會再帶他過來了

255
00:13:32,311 --> 00:13:34,480
‪對，可能喔

256
00:13:34,563 --> 00:13:36,982
‪我不想打擾你們過感恩節
‪我們該走了

257
00:13:37,066 --> 00:13:39,527
‪不行，我還沒餵完

258
00:13:39,610 --> 00:13:42,530
‪但我答應過這小傢伙
‪要教他怎麼調整化油器…

259
00:13:42,613 --> 00:13:43,739
‪給我退下

260
00:13:44,573 --> 00:13:46,408
‪你聽到了

261
00:13:46,492 --> 00:13:49,161
‪你來喝杯古莫的特製蛋酒吧

262
00:13:49,245 --> 00:13:52,873
‪等你睡醒再來聊鄰居的八卦？

263
00:13:56,669 --> 00:14:01,173
‪我沒想過惡夢的滋味會如此香甜

264
00:14:01,257 --> 00:14:03,634
‪羅伯特，你一打來我就趕來了

265
00:14:03,717 --> 00:14:07,638
‪真是的，你好倒楣

266
00:14:07,721 --> 00:14:10,558
‪謝謝，路，你是好朋友

267
00:14:10,641 --> 00:14:14,728
‪不要絕望，你的保險會理賠的

268
00:14:14,812 --> 00:14:16,564
‪我沒有保險

269
00:14:16,647 --> 00:14:21,068
‪我把錢花在這套雞裝上了
‪這件有保險

270
00:14:21,652 --> 00:14:25,072
‪那你絕對要絕望

271
00:14:25,155 --> 00:14:26,740
‪所以我才打給你

272
00:14:26,824 --> 00:14:31,287
‪現在我毀了，我欠你的錢沒辦法還了

273
00:14:31,370 --> 00:14:33,038
‪我不想讓你失望

274
00:14:33,122 --> 00:14:37,084
‪但我們恐怕得取消協議

275
00:14:37,167 --> 00:14:39,545
‪我也不想讓你失望

276
00:14:39,628 --> 00:14:43,924
‪但西西里有句話說，不得取消

277
00:14:49,597 --> 00:14:51,765
‪天啊，他們來了

278
00:14:51,849 --> 00:14:53,976
‪好了，孩子們，準備觀賞大逃殺

279
00:14:54,059 --> 00:14:56,353
‪看虐待狂對戰同志了

280
00:14:56,437 --> 00:14:58,397
‪爺爺為什麼恨路易斯舅舅？

281
00:14:58,480 --> 00:15:01,150
‪親愛的，“恨”這個字眼太重了

282
00:15:01,233 --> 00:15:05,863
‪過去15年來
‪爺爺只是排斥自己的骨肉

283
00:15:05,946 --> 00:15:07,823
‪路易斯舅舅喜歡聞“醃黃瓜”

284
00:15:07,907 --> 00:15:09,074
‪喂！

285
00:15:09,158 --> 00:15:12,328
‪他沒有愛聞醃黃瓜，他是喜歡歌舞

286
00:15:12,411 --> 00:15:13,662
‪你們也不該批評他

287
00:15:13,746 --> 00:15:16,957
‪如果路易斯舅舅這麼做很爽
‪就隨他去吧

288
00:15:17,041 --> 00:15:18,500
‪放人一條生路

289
00:15:18,584 --> 00:15:22,421
‪話雖如此
‪被我抓到你跟別的男人碰腳互撩

290
00:15:22,504 --> 00:15:25,132
‪我對天發誓，我會抓你去撞牆

291
00:15:25,215 --> 00:15:28,010
‪現在快進去給他平等對待

292
00:15:29,470 --> 00:15:30,596
‪搞什麼？

293
00:15:32,431 --> 00:15:35,851
‪史丹、路易斯，感恩節快樂

294
00:15:35,935 --> 00:15:37,269
‪哈囉，法蘭克

295
00:15:37,353 --> 00:15:41,190
‪你今年在食物銀行
‪領到什麼發霉的凹罐頭？

296
00:15:41,273 --> 00:15:45,694
‪對啊
‪我們要煮你的哪隻鞋子當晚餐？

297
00:15:46,278 --> 00:15:47,571
‪他好小氣

298
00:15:47,655 --> 00:15:51,742
‪對法蘭克好一點
‪他不是小氣，他是沒錢

299
00:15:54,328 --> 00:15:58,540
‪好懷念我們以前一起嗆法蘭克的日子

300
00:15:58,624 --> 00:15:59,833
‪太好嗆了

301
00:15:59,917 --> 00:16:03,379
‪沒錯，路易斯，你真的很會捅男人

302
00:16:05,339 --> 00:16:08,467
‪用你的笑話捅男人

303
00:16:08,550 --> 00:16:11,303
‪不是你的老二

304
00:16:11,387 --> 00:16:13,806
‪-看來進行得很順利
‪-太順利了

305
00:16:13,889 --> 00:16:16,016
‪蘇，謝謝妳

306
00:16:16,100 --> 00:16:20,479
‪能跟老爸一起度過
‪最後一次感恩節真是太好了

307
00:16:20,562 --> 00:16:22,856
‪我很想告訴他我日後會多想念他

308
00:16:22,940 --> 00:16:24,733
‪對，但別說

309
00:16:26,402 --> 00:16:29,071
‪我得阻止他們這麼要好

310
00:16:29,154 --> 00:16:32,282
‪他已經兩次差點說出露餡的話了

311
00:16:32,366 --> 00:16:36,620
‪蘇，妳到底覺得這件事會怎麼演變？

312
00:16:36,704 --> 00:16:37,538
‪我不知道

313
00:16:37,621 --> 00:16:40,457
‪我去一間同志酒吧
‪看到有人在聞我前老闆的醃黃瓜

314
00:16:40,541 --> 00:16:41,583
‪我腦筋得轉快一點

315
00:16:41,667 --> 00:16:46,005
‪你得幫我分散他們的注意力
‪直到鄰居來吃甜點

316
00:16:47,089 --> 00:16:49,633
‪親愛的，我也希望我可以
‪但我能做什麼？

317
00:16:49,717 --> 00:16:52,011
‪他們又不跟我說話，他們討厭我

318
00:16:54,388 --> 00:16:58,308
‪爸，我會懷念這種事，等你…

319
00:16:58,392 --> 00:16:59,351
‪爸

320
00:17:03,772 --> 00:17:08,277
‪法蘭克說他很高興
‪尼克森獲得全面特赦

321
00:17:08,360 --> 00:17:10,571
‪-他說什麼？
‪-我說什麼？

322
00:17:13,824 --> 00:17:15,951
‪沒錯，史丹，我好開心

323
00:17:16,035 --> 00:17:19,413
‪告訴你，我希望他做12個水門案

324
00:17:19,496 --> 00:17:21,749
‪-那責任歸屬呢？
‪-你怎麼能說這種話？

325
00:17:21,832 --> 00:17:23,292
‪去他的責任歸屬

326
00:17:23,375 --> 00:17:26,670
‪老天，民主黨的鎖應該加強，你知道

327
00:17:26,754 --> 00:17:29,131
‪對，他的中國政策很成功

328
00:17:29,214 --> 00:17:31,675
‪-我從前聽過很多，但這個…
‪-過去

329
00:17:47,107 --> 00:17:48,817
‪（豆子，第二品牌）

330
00:17:49,902 --> 00:17:50,986
‪（阿拉希根）

331
00:18:06,835 --> 00:18:08,212
‪（珊瑚泉飯店）

332
00:18:08,295 --> 00:18:10,130
‪（查茲窩斯保釋服務，24小時）

333
00:18:16,386 --> 00:18:19,473
‪-所以你要還錢嗎？
‪-我會給錢

334
00:18:19,556 --> 00:18:21,683
‪我會的，我保證

335
00:18:21,767 --> 00:18:23,352
‪我想可以了

336
00:18:23,435 --> 00:18:25,062
‪非常感謝

337
00:18:30,067 --> 00:18:34,488
‪邦菲利奧太太，妳好嗎？

338
00:18:34,571 --> 00:18:35,614
‪很濕

339
00:18:35,697 --> 00:18:38,700
‪你們看，巴斯特要跳了

340
00:18:38,784 --> 00:18:40,994
‪你對這次感恩節有何感想，巴斯特？

341
00:18:41,078 --> 00:18:44,498
‪就像古早以前的第一批清教徒

342
00:18:45,082 --> 00:18:49,002
‪準備夾著兩腿間的181公斤重物
‪大顯神威了

343
00:18:49,086 --> 00:18:50,671
‪看看誰來了

344
00:18:50,754 --> 00:18:51,588
‪什麼？

345
00:18:51,672 --> 00:18:54,216
‪查理卓别林

346
00:18:54,299 --> 00:18:56,885
‪我的小流浪漢

347
00:18:56,969 --> 00:18:59,638
‪你們好多年沒玩了

348
00:19:03,642 --> 00:19:06,019
‪他們複製希特勒了

349
00:19:07,396 --> 00:19:10,232
‪看看他們在一起多開心
‪你怎麼不去爭執？

350
00:19:10,315 --> 00:19:13,443
‪對不起
‪但我對尼克森的好話都用光了

351
00:19:14,153 --> 00:19:16,530
‪我是說，妳爸讓我有點轉變了

352
00:19:21,326 --> 00:19:22,703
‪爸，你還是寶刀未老

353
00:19:23,203 --> 00:19:27,040
‪孩子們，你們知道我曾經
‪在巴圖斯羅高球場一桿進洞嗎？

354
00:19:27,124 --> 00:19:30,711
‪凱文，我聽說你有女友了

355
00:19:30,794 --> 00:19:33,672
‪如果她接蠢電話才是

356
00:19:33,755 --> 00:19:37,426
‪我打個不停
‪但她站在答錄機旁邊嘲笑我

357
00:19:37,509 --> 00:19:38,468
‪我感覺得到

358
00:19:38,552 --> 00:19:39,845
‪天啊

359
00:19:39,928 --> 00:19:42,973
‪年輕人談戀愛很辛苦

360
00:19:43,056 --> 00:19:48,187
‪我敢說她不接電話是有好理由的

361
00:19:48,270 --> 00:19:50,147
‪什麼意思？妳覺得她跟喬爾復合了？

362
00:19:50,230 --> 00:19:53,192
‪我相信不管這個喬爾是誰

363
00:19:53,275 --> 00:19:55,777
‪他都沒有你帥

364
00:19:55,861 --> 00:19:59,448
‪妳在說什麼？
‪他是男人，他有過成年禮

365
00:19:59,531 --> 00:20:03,202
‪-她可能沒有跟別人在一起
‪-妳是說她死了？

366
00:20:03,285 --> 00:20:05,579
‪我不是說她死了

367
00:20:05,662 --> 00:20:08,916
‪那麼救她還不嫌晚，我得去找她

368
00:20:09,708 --> 00:20:12,294
‪我不知道阮阮會怎麼做

369
00:20:12,377 --> 00:20:14,546
‪我只是跟她說
‪在一集《神探可倫坡》中

370
00:20:14,630 --> 00:20:17,216
‪有個越南女人毒死老公而已

371
00:20:17,299 --> 00:20:18,842
‪後來我借她一些漂白劑

372
00:20:18,926 --> 00:20:23,222
‪你或許不該再說一次，謝謝你的蛋酒

373
00:20:24,806 --> 00:20:27,392
‪還有失憶，但我最好帶
‪小維克去睡覺了

374
00:20:27,476 --> 00:20:29,978
‪他到底在哪裡？
‪他是不是丟下我就走了？

375
00:20:30,062 --> 00:20:31,730
‪天啊

376
00:20:31,813 --> 00:20:34,816
‪伊芙琳，妳對那孩子做了什麼？

377
00:20:34,900 --> 00:20:38,737
‪我警告過妳了，我不想再搬家了
‪我喜歡這些名字

378
00:20:38,820 --> 00:20:41,031
‪在這裡，我在替他換尿布

379
00:20:41,114 --> 00:20:42,157
‪對

380
00:20:43,242 --> 00:20:44,868
‪我知道妳一直在這裡

381
00:20:44,952 --> 00:20:48,247
‪沒有在染頭髮、逃離這個州

382
00:20:48,330 --> 00:20:49,248
‪好

383
00:20:50,415 --> 00:20:51,667
‪我很開心，我該走了

384
00:20:51,750 --> 00:20:54,628
‪拜託，讓我再聞一次傑拉汀就好

385
00:20:54,711 --> 00:20:57,714
‪別碰我的寶寶

386
00:20:57,798 --> 00:21:00,217
‪你的女人他媽的真怪

387
00:21:01,343 --> 00:21:06,014
‪拜託，伊芙琳，算了吧
‪我們永遠不會有孩子

388
00:21:06,098 --> 00:21:08,225
‪不能面對真相的人是你

389
00:21:08,308 --> 00:21:10,727
‪不是蛤蜊的關係

390
00:21:10,811 --> 00:21:14,064
‪我開始覺得
‪法蘭克的褲子那件事是你說謊

391
00:21:14,147 --> 00:21:18,485
‪我偷他的褲子是為了有活著的感覺

392
00:21:18,568 --> 00:21:20,237
‪妳讓我生不如死

393
00:21:20,320 --> 00:21:22,447
‪祝你們復活節快樂，好

394
00:21:22,531 --> 00:21:24,116
‪你都不帶我去跳舞

395
00:21:24,199 --> 00:21:27,536
‪我去樹林拉屎，妳一次都不願意把風

396
00:21:27,619 --> 00:21:29,454
‪男人有需求

397
00:21:29,538 --> 00:21:33,000
‪這個社區在我犯傻時正常多了

398
00:21:33,083 --> 00:21:34,084
‪（巴斯特）

399
00:21:34,167 --> 00:21:36,378
‪小巴斯特桑德準備跨躍

400
00:21:36,461 --> 00:21:37,629
‪他出發了

401
00:21:37,713 --> 00:21:41,883
‪蘇，聚會很棒，但我們該走了

402
00:21:41,967 --> 00:21:46,763
‪開車要四小時，我希望妳爸
‪開到詹姆斯狄恩死亡彎道時保持清醒

403
00:21:46,847 --> 00:21:49,349
‪拜託別走，不過你們的外套在這裡

404
00:21:49,433 --> 00:21:51,935
‪謝謝妳，寶貝

405
00:21:52,519 --> 00:21:54,438
‪謝謝你，法蘭克

406
00:21:54,521 --> 00:21:57,149
‪火雞…切得很好

407
00:21:57,232 --> 00:21:59,568
‪我知道要你說這句話有多難

408
00:22:00,402 --> 00:22:02,863
‪-很高興見到你，兒子
‪-我也是，爸

409
00:22:02,946 --> 00:22:04,948
‪巴斯特可能會成功

410
00:22:05,032 --> 00:22:09,411
‪-我們明年再聚吧
‪-蘇，妳怎麼能這樣說話？

411
00:22:09,494 --> 00:22:11,747
‪-什麼？
‪-他搖晃起來了

412
00:22:11,830 --> 00:22:15,334
‪明年再聚？
‪在哪裡聚？爸的墳前嗎？

413
00:22:15,417 --> 00:22:16,501
‪我的什麼？

414
00:22:16,585 --> 00:22:19,504
‪蘇告訴我了，爸，說你快死了

415
00:22:19,588 --> 00:22:21,465
‪妳跟他說我快死了？

416
00:22:21,548 --> 00:22:22,549
‪巴斯特飛到空中了

417
00:22:22,632 --> 00:22:23,717
‪不是這幾個字

418
00:22:23,800 --> 00:22:25,635
‪就是這幾個字

419
00:22:25,719 --> 00:22:28,680
‪然後他撞到水泥河岸

420
00:22:30,182 --> 00:22:34,061
‪他差點就成功，結果屎了

421
00:22:34,144 --> 00:22:35,437
‪妳為什麼要騙我？

422
00:22:35,520 --> 00:22:37,356
‪我希望你和爸爸和好

423
00:22:37,439 --> 00:22:38,940
‪妳太瞧不起我們了

424
00:22:39,024 --> 00:22:42,486
‪沒有妳往他腦子裡塞一顆瘤
‪我們就不能和好嗎？

425
00:22:42,569 --> 00:22:44,529
‪你說你不在乎他的

426
00:22:44,613 --> 00:22:47,866
‪-真是太好了
‪-爸，跟斷絕父子關係一樣好？

427
00:22:47,949 --> 00:22:49,326
‪是你自己斷絕的

428
00:22:49,409 --> 00:22:52,245
‪就從你決定對其他男人起淫念開始

429
00:22:52,329 --> 00:22:55,749
‪那不是淫念，爸，那是愛，我是人

430
00:22:55,832 --> 00:22:57,626
‪上帝就是把我造成這樣

431
00:22:57,709 --> 00:23:01,505
‪對啦，總是怪罪別人

432
00:23:03,715 --> 00:23:05,050
‪愛麗絲

433
00:23:05,133 --> 00:23:06,927
‪愛麗絲，拜託妳出來

434
00:23:07,010 --> 00:23:09,888
‪我來證明我能給妳空間

435
00:23:11,139 --> 00:23:13,642
‪-愛麗絲
‪-凱文，你在這裡做什麼？

436
00:23:13,725 --> 00:23:16,061
‪小姐，妳到底去哪裡了？

437
00:23:16,144 --> 00:23:18,814
‪我們去我阿姨家過感恩節

438
00:23:18,897 --> 00:23:20,440
‪妳相信感恩節？

439
00:23:21,191 --> 00:23:22,651
‪我以為妳是猶太人

440
00:23:25,570 --> 00:23:28,740
‪我們以後要把這件事告訴孫子

441
00:23:28,824 --> 00:23:30,117
‪你嚇到我了

442
00:23:30,200 --> 00:23:32,786
‪我在下面有嚇到妳嗎？

443
00:23:33,286 --> 00:23:36,373
‪-愛麗絲，這小子在煩妳嗎？
‪-這是該死的喬爾嗎？

444
00:23:36,456 --> 00:23:37,666
‪不，凱文，這是…

445
00:23:37,749 --> 00:23:39,084
‪-天啊
‪-丹尼爾

446
00:23:39,167 --> 00:23:40,085
‪我弟

447
00:23:40,168 --> 00:23:41,545
‪糟糕，我的手

448
00:23:41,628 --> 00:23:42,963
‪你把我的牙齒打掉了

449
00:23:43,046 --> 00:23:44,840
‪我拿一顆給你

450
00:23:44,923 --> 00:23:46,842
‪凱文，滾

451
00:23:46,925 --> 00:23:48,844
‪我再也不想見到你了

452
00:23:48,927 --> 00:23:50,595
‪但今天是感恩節啊

453
00:23:50,679 --> 00:23:53,723
‪你不曉得當你兒子有多痛苦

454
00:23:53,807 --> 00:23:56,893
‪你才不知道當你父親有多痛苦

455
00:23:56,977 --> 00:24:01,606
‪你污損那個灰狗巴士站
‪我還得去保釋你出獄

456
00:24:01,690 --> 00:24:04,526
‪巴士旅行變低級了

457
00:24:04,609 --> 00:24:05,610
‪爸，好了

458
00:24:05,694 --> 00:24:08,947
‪你羞辱路易斯
‪但或許他的生活得到更多人接受

459
00:24:09,030 --> 00:24:11,533
‪他就不用去巴士站偷雞摸狗了

460
00:24:11,616 --> 00:24:14,369
‪-蘇，我還是會去巴士站
‪-看吧？

461
00:24:14,453 --> 00:24:16,496
‪-這個人是變態
‪-你是頑固分子

462
00:24:16,580 --> 00:24:19,374
‪史丹，拜託，今天是感恩節

463
00:24:19,458 --> 00:24:21,084
‪路易斯人很好

464
00:24:21,168 --> 00:24:23,587
‪對，他有點娘炮，可是呢…

465
00:24:23,670 --> 00:24:27,466
‪娘炮？我踹你飛到另一邊喔

466
00:24:27,549 --> 00:24:30,135
‪-我這是在挺你耶
‪-別插手

467
00:24:30,218 --> 00:24:33,138
‪你15年前也不該接近我女兒

468
00:24:33,221 --> 00:24:34,639
‪-爸
‪-他說得對

469
00:24:34,723 --> 00:24:39,144
‪爸和我一直處得很好
‪直到你嫁給這個禿頭王八蛋

470
00:24:39,227 --> 00:24:42,606
‪你知道嗎？你們兩個去死吧

471
00:24:42,689 --> 00:24:45,650
‪天啊，這女人做死做活

472
00:24:45,734 --> 00:24:47,319
‪就希望你們有完美的一天

473
00:24:47,402 --> 00:24:50,030
‪她還叫我幫忙，我有抱怨嗎？

474
00:24:50,614 --> 00:24:51,698
‪一開始有一點

475
00:24:51,781 --> 00:24:55,076
‪但後來我縮短開心睡午覺的時間

476
00:24:55,160 --> 00:24:58,914
‪就是睡得超安祥，感覺像死掉

477
00:24:58,997 --> 00:25:00,874
‪搞到你心想
‪“天啊，終於結束了”那種

478
00:25:00,957 --> 00:25:03,627
‪然後我載我的死小孩去雜貨店

479
00:25:03,710 --> 00:25:06,087
‪去買我討厭的高級蔓越莓

480
00:25:06,171 --> 00:25:08,423
‪只是為了幫她讓你們兩個和好

481
00:25:08,507 --> 00:25:09,883
‪這下我成了壞人？

482
00:25:09,966 --> 00:25:12,177
‪你們去死，去你們的吵架

483
00:25:12,260 --> 00:25:14,012
‪老天，為什麼不惜福呢？

484
00:25:14,095 --> 00:25:15,972
‪你要慶幸你的老爸還活著

485
00:25:16,056 --> 00:25:18,850
‪老天，我真想聽
‪我爸罵我一聲“愛抱怨的賤貨”

486
00:25:18,934 --> 00:25:20,018
‪再一次就好

487
00:25:20,101 --> 00:25:22,646
‪我很樂意代勞，廢物

488
00:25:22,729 --> 00:25:25,982
‪不，我說“愛抱怨的賤貨”，你他媽的

489
00:25:26,066 --> 00:25:28,527
‪去你的，史丹，去你的，路易斯

490
00:25:28,610 --> 00:25:32,239
‪瑪麗蓮，我很喜歡妳的鴨子故事

491
00:25:32,322 --> 00:25:35,033
‪我希望法律能通過
‪這樣國家才不會殺死牠們

492
00:25:35,116 --> 00:25:36,451
‪但去你們的

493
00:25:46,086 --> 00:25:48,838
‪（詹姆斯狄恩死亡彎道）

494
00:25:53,009 --> 00:25:54,094
‪（鰤魚，1973年）

495
00:25:54,177 --> 00:25:55,637
‪（巴黎之旅）

496
00:25:59,599 --> 00:26:02,102
‪妳喜歡比爾爺爺的鑰匙

497
00:26:02,185 --> 00:26:03,937
‪對

498
00:26:04,020 --> 00:26:09,359
‪他是可憐的混蛋
‪但他的鑰匙會叮噹響

499
00:26:13,863 --> 00:26:14,823
‪蘇

500
00:26:15,365 --> 00:26:17,867
‪聽著，妳今天這麼慘讓我難過

501
00:26:17,951 --> 00:26:19,077
‪我現在沒辦法說話

502
00:26:20,370 --> 00:26:21,955
‪我整天都沒吃

503
00:26:22,038 --> 00:26:23,915
‪記得妳說我太著魔了

504
00:26:23,999 --> 00:26:27,627
‪一直想搞清楚
‪我爸說“16號盒子”的意思？

505
00:26:27,711 --> 00:26:31,798
‪我想路易斯之於妳是相同的事

506
00:26:31,881 --> 00:26:33,717
‪這樣對妳也不好

507
00:26:34,759 --> 00:26:36,636
‪我們永遠都不能如願

508
00:26:36,720 --> 00:26:38,096
‪你說得對

509
00:26:38,179 --> 00:26:39,848
‪我要去狂塞水果派

510
00:26:39,931 --> 00:26:43,351
‪然後進浴缸昏迷喝這瓶熱香料紅酒了

511
00:26:43,977 --> 00:26:45,562
‪你負責照顧梅根

512
00:26:48,857 --> 00:26:50,984
‪妳猜怎著，梅根？

513
00:26:51,067 --> 00:26:53,445
‪我們再也不必見到爺爺了

514
00:26:53,528 --> 00:26:55,488
‪因為媽咪今天發瘋了

515
00:26:55,572 --> 00:26:57,365
‪對，她是

516
00:27:01,077 --> 00:27:02,912
‪妳喜歡這根嗎？

517
00:27:05,332 --> 00:27:07,917
‪天啊，16

518
00:27:10,378 --> 00:27:12,839
‪真是太感謝了

519
00:27:14,591 --> 00:27:15,925
‪哇靠

520
00:27:16,009 --> 00:27:18,887
‪-你們在樓下沒事吧？
‪-大家都還活著，寶貝

521
00:27:18,970 --> 00:27:20,263
‪繼續喝吧

522
00:27:48,875 --> 00:27:50,877
‪字幕翻譯：張倩茜

523
00:27:53,505 --> 00:27:55,882
‪我要用火雞打你孫子