1
00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:08,800
-[marching band playing]
-[crowd cheering]
2
00:00:10,760 --> 00:00:16,433
[Ray] Welcome to the 19th Semi-Annual
Rustland City Thanksgiving Day Parade.
3
00:00:16,516 --> 00:00:18,601
And our parade would not be complete
4
00:00:18,685 --> 00:00:21,980
without a visit
from America's favorite cartoon lazybones,
5
00:00:22,063 --> 00:00:23,481
Sleepy Ramirez.
6
00:00:23,565 --> 00:00:25,233
[all cheering]
7
00:00:25,316 --> 00:00:28,987
Fun fact, Sleepy is
the only anatomically correct balloon
8
00:00:29,070 --> 00:00:30,363
in the parade today.
9
00:00:30,447 --> 00:00:32,824
[all gasp]
10
00:00:32,907 --> 00:00:35,368
Sleepy's helium-filled donkey organ
11
00:00:35,452 --> 00:00:38,413
is big enough to hold
200 gallon-sized cans
12
00:00:38,496 --> 00:00:39,914
of latex house paint.
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00:00:39,998 --> 00:00:41,666
[Jim] You stink, Ray!
14
00:00:41,750 --> 00:00:46,212
You're a disgrace to ceremony mastering!
[grunts]
15
00:00:46,838 --> 00:00:51,009
Get your trunk out of my ass!
There's no peanuts in it! Wait! [screams]
16
00:00:51,092 --> 00:00:53,428
[sighs] There but for the grace of God
17
00:00:53,511 --> 00:00:56,890
and no uncontrollable sexual interest
in pregnant women,
18
00:00:56,973 --> 00:00:58,016
go I.
19
00:00:58,516 --> 00:01:01,436
Let's hear it
for our trusted city aldermen.
20
00:01:03,605 --> 00:01:04,731
[groans]
21
00:01:04,814 --> 00:01:09,527
{\an8}Damn mayor, fucking me over.
He gave my Caddy to the janitor lady!
22
00:01:09,611 --> 00:01:13,323
{\an8}In Russia, I am pediatric oncologist.
23
00:01:13,406 --> 00:01:16,076
My ride's got a boy
with a dick on his face.
24
00:01:16,159 --> 00:01:19,746
And just like that boy,
you got to put on a smile and take it.
25
00:01:19,829 --> 00:01:22,582
[groans] Time for the minstrel show.
26
00:01:22,665 --> 00:01:24,793
Happy Thanksgiving! [chuckles]
27
00:01:24,876 --> 00:01:28,463
Stop the tollway! Save the Twelfth Ward!
28
00:01:28,546 --> 00:01:29,923
-[clanging]
-[grunts]
29
00:01:30,006 --> 00:01:33,384
Motherfucker! That's the third time
your float rammed me this morning!
30
00:01:33,468 --> 00:01:36,971
Maybe it wouldn't happen
if you got out of the way of progress!
31
00:01:37,055 --> 00:01:41,684
Your progress is going to put my people
on the street! They all hate you!
32
00:01:41,768 --> 00:01:46,773
We'll see how they feel after they get
one of my Tollway Tom Turkeys!
33
00:01:46,856 --> 00:01:49,484
-[crowd cheering]
-[Mayor Tangenti] Hey, there we go.
34
00:01:49,567 --> 00:01:53,822
Everybody gets a turkey!
Compliments of the mayor! Oh!
35
00:01:55,532 --> 00:01:57,492
This progress looks delicious!
36
00:01:57,575 --> 00:01:59,661
He's turning my people against me.
37
00:01:59,744 --> 00:02:01,496
Mayor Tangenti loves the cripples!
38
00:02:01,579 --> 00:02:04,666
[grunts] Now I can't see!
39
00:02:04,749 --> 00:02:07,418
But I can smell this beautiful bird!
40
00:02:07,502 --> 00:02:09,045
Motherfucker!
41
00:02:09,129 --> 00:02:11,840
["Come and Get Your Love"
by Redbone playing]
42
00:02:20,014 --> 00:02:22,475
{\an8}♪ Come and get your love ♪
43
00:02:24,519 --> 00:02:27,188
{\an8}♪ Come and get your love ♪
44
00:02:28,982 --> 00:02:31,192
♪ Come and get your love ♪
45
00:02:33,528 --> 00:02:35,655
{\an8}♪ Come and get your love ♪
46
00:02:37,073 --> 00:02:39,033
♪ Come and get your love
Come and get your love ♪
47
00:02:39,117 --> 00:02:40,493
♪ Come and get your love now ♪
48
00:02:41,870 --> 00:02:43,621
♪ Come and get your love
Come and get your love ♪
49
00:02:43,705 --> 00:02:45,290
♪ Come and get your love now ♪
50
00:02:45,373 --> 00:02:46,708
{\an8}[grunts, screaming]
51
00:02:46,791 --> 00:02:47,917
{\an8}♪ Come and get your love
Come and get your love ♪
52
00:02:48,001 --> 00:02:49,752
♪ Come and get your love now ♪
53
00:02:51,045 --> 00:02:52,630
♪ Come and get your love
Come and get your love ♪
54
00:02:52,714 --> 00:02:54,424
♪ Come and get your love now ♪
55
00:02:54,507 --> 00:02:55,633
[boom]
56
00:02:57,177 --> 00:02:58,636
♪ Over the river and through the woods ♪
57
00:02:58,720 --> 00:03:00,889
{\an8}♪ To Grandmother's house we go ♪
58
00:03:00,972 --> 00:03:03,057
{\an8}♪ The horse knows the way
To carry the sleigh ♪
59
00:03:03,141 --> 00:03:05,310
{\an8}♪ Through white and drifted snow ♪
60
00:03:05,393 --> 00:03:08,938
♪ Over the river and through the woods
Oh, how the wind does blow ♪
61
00:03:09,022 --> 00:03:13,318
{\an8}♪ It stings the toes and bites the nose
As over the ground we go, hooray! ♪
62
00:03:13,401 --> 00:03:14,736
{\an8}Perfect.
63
00:03:14,819 --> 00:03:16,821
{\an8}I wish I had me as a wife.
64
00:03:17,655 --> 00:03:19,908
{\an8}-Ugh! Jesus!
-[grunts]
65
00:03:19,991 --> 00:03:22,160
{\an8}Stop messing with my evil eye!
66
00:03:22,243 --> 00:03:24,037
-Stop resisting arrest!
-Ah!
67
00:03:24,120 --> 00:03:26,414
-[Bill grunts]
-Goddamn it to hell!
68
00:03:27,916 --> 00:03:30,001
{\an8}I'm sorry, kids.
69
00:03:30,084 --> 00:03:33,630
{\an8}This Thanksgiving
is a very important one for me.
70
00:03:33,713 --> 00:03:37,175
{\an8}I just need you to stay out of my hair
while I get everything ready.
71
00:03:37,258 --> 00:03:39,928
{\an8}If you can't sit still,
then please do me a favor
72
00:03:40,011 --> 00:03:41,512
{\an8}and annoy your dad instead.
73
00:03:41,596 --> 00:03:44,182
He's taking his morning beer nap.
74
00:03:44,265 --> 00:03:45,934
{\an8}[upbeat music playing on TV]
75
00:03:46,017 --> 00:03:47,435
{\an8}[announcer] Tonight, after football,
76
00:03:47,518 --> 00:03:50,480
{\an8}it's the ABS Thanksgiving Special,
77
00:03:50,563 --> 00:03:53,650
{\an8}with the stars of Colt Luger,
78
00:03:53,733 --> 00:03:54,984
{\an8}Bruce Again!,
79
00:03:55,068 --> 00:03:56,110
{\an8}Police Cop!,
80
00:03:56,194 --> 00:03:57,820
{\an8}Beach Magician M.D.!,
81
00:03:57,904 --> 00:03:59,822
{\an8}My Dog, The President!,
82
00:03:59,906 --> 00:04:04,410
{\an8}and Secretary of Agriculture, Earl Butz!
83
00:04:04,494 --> 00:04:06,537
{\an8}Frank? Frank?
84
00:04:06,621 --> 00:04:09,249
[announcer] And it all ends
with the return of stunt legend
85
00:04:09,332 --> 00:04:11,668
Buster Thunder Junior!
86
00:04:11,751 --> 00:04:14,420
This doctor said I'd never punch again!
87
00:04:14,504 --> 00:04:15,421
[grunts]
88
00:04:15,505 --> 00:04:17,548
Who's the doctor now?
89
00:04:17,632 --> 00:04:19,217
Yeehaw!
90
00:04:19,300 --> 00:04:20,885
Frank, are you asleep?
91
00:04:20,969 --> 00:04:22,929
[snoring]
92
00:04:25,515 --> 00:04:27,850
-I'm pregnant again.
-The fuck you are!
93
00:04:27,934 --> 00:04:31,271
Look at this mess. The house has
to look immaculate when my parents come,
94
00:04:31,354 --> 00:04:32,897
like nobody lives here.
95
00:04:32,981 --> 00:04:36,442
Honey, take it easy.
Don't put so much pressure on yourself.
96
00:04:36,526 --> 00:04:39,904
I have to. I'm really worried about today.
97
00:04:39,988 --> 00:04:42,699
It took so much to get my dad and Louis
in the same room,
98
00:04:42,782 --> 00:04:45,868
and if it doesn't go right,
we'll never have the chance again.
99
00:04:45,952 --> 00:04:49,163
Oh, I understand, honey.
I'll do anything to help you.
100
00:04:49,247 --> 00:04:51,040
Could you take the baby
and make a quick run to the store
101
00:04:51,124 --> 00:04:52,208
to get cranberry sauce?
102
00:04:52,292 --> 00:04:55,003
Aw, Jesus, Sue,
the store's gonna be a zoo!
103
00:04:55,086 --> 00:04:58,840
Whatever we're missing, I'm sure you made
plenty of other bullshit for us to eat.
104
00:04:58,923 --> 00:05:01,342
Bill and Maureen
ruined the cranberries my dad loves!
105
00:05:01,426 --> 00:05:03,428
Well, your dad ruins everything I love.
106
00:05:04,095 --> 00:05:05,513
Please?
107
00:05:06,806 --> 00:05:07,890
Ugh.
108
00:05:07,974 --> 00:05:09,058
Okay.
109
00:05:09,142 --> 00:05:10,268
I'll go get them.
110
00:05:10,351 --> 00:05:12,312
Your punishment for fucking up
111
00:05:12,395 --> 00:05:14,439
is spending quality time
with your old man.
112
00:05:14,522 --> 00:05:16,357
-Aw! No fair!
-No fair!
113
00:05:17,025 --> 00:05:19,444
Some fucking holiday this is.
114
00:05:19,527 --> 00:05:22,905
Got to take my dad's car
because the safety seat's in it.
115
00:05:22,989 --> 00:05:24,991
I guess we're coddling babies now.
116
00:05:25,074 --> 00:05:29,245
Goddamn seat, why won't this...
why won't this stupid thing tighten?
117
00:05:29,329 --> 00:05:31,164
[gasping]
118
00:05:31,247 --> 00:05:32,290
Holy shit!
119
00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:35,209
Uh, I don't think we need
to tell Mom about that.
120
00:05:35,293 --> 00:05:36,669
What's in it for me?
121
00:05:36,753 --> 00:05:39,172
-Well, do you like Christmas?
-Yeah.
122
00:05:39,255 --> 00:05:42,216
-Would you like to live see another one?
-Yeah.
123
00:05:42,300 --> 00:05:45,511
Then shut the fuck up
and help me with this baby seat!
124
00:05:45,595 --> 00:05:48,389
-[line ringing]
-Come on, Alice, pick up.
125
00:05:49,390 --> 00:05:52,727
[Dr. Goldman on recording]
♪ No one's home, please leave a message ♪
126
00:05:52,810 --> 00:05:56,314
♪ For the Goldmans at the tone ♪
127
00:05:56,397 --> 00:05:57,440
[beep]
128
00:05:57,523 --> 00:06:01,027
Alice, hey, this is Kevin Murphy from...
129
00:06:01,110 --> 00:06:02,737
your boyfriend.
130
00:06:03,613 --> 00:06:05,782
Are you there? Please pick up.
131
00:06:05,865 --> 00:06:09,243
I'm really sorry about the other night
when you got all weird. I just know that--
132
00:06:09,327 --> 00:06:10,870
-[Sue] Kevin?
-Alice! I love you.
133
00:06:10,953 --> 00:06:12,789
I know you're mad,
but everything'll be okay
134
00:06:12,872 --> 00:06:14,332
if we do the kiss-kiss game
with your boobies.
135
00:06:14,415 --> 00:06:16,459
-[Sue] It's your mother.
-Oh God!
136
00:06:16,542 --> 00:06:20,004
What are you doing at Alice's house?
Are you talking about me?
137
00:06:20,088 --> 00:06:21,839
[Sue] Get off the phone
so I can call the neighbors
138
00:06:21,923 --> 00:06:23,925
to tell them what time to come over
for coffee and cake.
139
00:06:24,008 --> 00:06:25,343
Mom, you sound like a lunatic!
140
00:06:25,426 --> 00:06:27,637
Would you put Alice on the phone?
141
00:06:27,720 --> 00:06:29,722
Mom? Mom?
142
00:06:30,306 --> 00:06:31,224
Erwin?
143
00:06:31,307 --> 00:06:34,018
Off the fucking phone!
144
00:06:34,727 --> 00:06:36,145
What'd the phone ever do to you?
145
00:06:36,229 --> 00:06:40,316
Ah! You crumpled the bed!
I need to put coats on it later!
146
00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:44,320
Oh, I'm sorry I'm affected by gravity!
What do you want me to do?
147
00:06:46,197 --> 00:06:47,907
This sucks ass.
148
00:06:47,990 --> 00:06:50,243
I had a whole day of sulking planned.
149
00:06:50,326 --> 00:06:52,829
Then just a pinch-a the cinnamon.
150
00:06:52,912 --> 00:06:56,416
That's the secret
to a traditional Thanksgiving
151
00:06:56,499 --> 00:06:59,502
Tagliatelle Arrogost Bachagaloop!
152
00:06:59,585 --> 00:07:00,628
[doorbell rings]
153
00:07:01,504 --> 00:07:03,464
-[chuckles] Hey, my man!
-[baby babbling]
154
00:07:03,548 --> 00:07:06,300
I'm... I'm going to say Petey?
Is your mom home?
155
00:07:06,384 --> 00:07:10,680
She's busy at the moment.
You don't look like you usually do.
156
00:07:10,763 --> 00:07:13,641
I can't see the pulse in your eyes.
157
00:07:13,724 --> 00:07:17,353
Well, that's 'cause I stopped taking
the, uh... special vitamins
158
00:07:17,437 --> 00:07:18,521
that kept me perky.
159
00:07:18,604 --> 00:07:21,858
You mean Schedule II narcotics?
160
00:07:21,941 --> 00:07:22,942
Yeah.
161
00:07:23,025 --> 00:07:25,027
[baby crying]
162
00:07:26,362 --> 00:07:29,490
All right, little man.
Can you be cool for just a little while?
163
00:07:29,574 --> 00:07:31,909
You're giving Daddy the sweats.
[chuckles nervously]
164
00:07:33,244 --> 00:07:35,079
Listen, Petey, I got a problem.
165
00:07:35,163 --> 00:07:37,123
I'm stuck raising my little man by myself
166
00:07:37,206 --> 00:07:39,667
because, uh, his mom
ran off with a Santa elf,
167
00:07:39,750 --> 00:07:43,463
so could I ask your mom
how to get a fussy baby to eat?
168
00:07:43,546 --> 00:07:46,424
Oh, she's never had trouble with that.
169
00:07:46,507 --> 00:07:48,759
[Anthony] Nom, nom.
You know what? You know what?
170
00:07:48,843 --> 00:07:50,261
Nom, nom, nom, nom.
171
00:07:50,344 --> 00:07:52,430
You know what? You know what?
172
00:07:52,513 --> 00:07:53,556
-Aw.
-You know what?
173
00:07:53,639 --> 00:07:56,517
You've got a big Thanksgiving appetite.
174
00:07:56,601 --> 00:07:59,103
I can feel your tonsils getting swollen.
175
00:07:59,187 --> 00:08:03,649
I went to Tijuana once
and paid 30 pesos to see that.
176
00:08:03,733 --> 00:08:04,775
Never again.
177
00:08:06,861 --> 00:08:11,532
Aw, I don't get why we all have
to clear out so Mom can be crazy.
178
00:08:11,616 --> 00:08:14,994
Ah, she's not crazy. [splutters]
She's just doing crazy things. Okay?
179
00:08:15,077 --> 00:08:16,329
This is important to her.
180
00:08:16,412 --> 00:08:18,831
So you have to help her out
by minding your manners,
181
00:08:18,915 --> 00:08:21,334
getting your head out of your ass
about your girlfriend,
182
00:08:21,417 --> 00:08:24,253
and don't get upset if she says
Pop-Pop is dying of a brain tumor.
183
00:08:24,337 --> 00:08:25,505
Pop-Pop is dying?
184
00:08:25,588 --> 00:08:27,590
No, but Uncle Louis thinks he is.
185
00:08:27,673 --> 00:08:28,799
Why does he think that?
186
00:08:28,883 --> 00:08:30,468
Oh, because Mom told him he was.
187
00:08:30,551 --> 00:08:31,844
Why did she tell him that?
188
00:08:31,928 --> 00:08:35,598
Because she's crazy! People do
weird things when they love someone.
189
00:08:35,681 --> 00:08:39,227
[scoffs] Like you crying over
Grandpa Bill's box with the 91 on it?
190
00:08:39,310 --> 00:08:41,687
I still say it's probably a 16,
191
00:08:41,771 --> 00:08:43,648
and it might mean something!
192
00:08:43,731 --> 00:08:44,732
Shit!
193
00:08:44,815 --> 00:08:46,275
-[tires squeal]
-[kids scream]
194
00:08:46,359 --> 00:08:47,693
What the hell is this?
195
00:08:47,777 --> 00:08:49,904
I guess the parade is still going on.
196
00:08:49,987 --> 00:08:51,781
Oh, fucking Thanksgiving!
197
00:08:51,864 --> 00:08:54,158
Just go home and eat, you assholes!
198
00:08:54,242 --> 00:08:57,078
-[marching band playing]
-Come to Skinneees!
199
00:08:57,161 --> 00:09:00,164
You won't be horrified,
or your money back!
200
00:09:01,749 --> 00:09:05,169
-Where's the rest of the chicken?
-In the trash where it belongs!
201
00:09:06,462 --> 00:09:08,172
Ooh, a Tollway Turkey!
202
00:09:08,256 --> 00:09:09,590
Everybody gets a turkey!
203
00:09:09,674 --> 00:09:13,553
-[woman] Thanks, Mr. Mayor! We love you!
-Hey! Stop stealing my business!
204
00:09:13,636 --> 00:09:16,514
I should be filling those mouths!
205
00:09:16,597 --> 00:09:18,849
-[grunts]
-[squeals] Ow!
206
00:09:18,933 --> 00:09:20,643
Right in the implant!
207
00:09:20,726 --> 00:09:23,145
Nobody hits my girls but me!
208
00:09:23,229 --> 00:09:25,982
Keep your dirty birds to yourself!
209
00:09:26,065 --> 00:09:30,194
Fuck you!
I will turkey your grandchildren!
210
00:09:30,653 --> 00:09:31,862
[grunts]
211
00:09:34,907 --> 00:09:38,160
-[crowd screaming]
-No! No!
212
00:09:38,244 --> 00:09:40,871
My three-week-old dream!
213
00:09:42,540 --> 00:09:45,084
-There. Perfect.
-[dog whining]
214
00:09:45,167 --> 00:09:46,377
[gagging]
215
00:09:46,460 --> 00:09:48,045
Oh, shit!
216
00:09:48,129 --> 00:09:50,047
Major, no! Major!
217
00:09:50,131 --> 00:09:52,675
Hold it in! Hold it in!
Hold it in, sweet baby!
218
00:09:53,175 --> 00:09:54,552
Hello, angel.
219
00:09:56,262 --> 00:09:59,015
Well, this is a good omen.
220
00:09:59,098 --> 00:10:02,602
Hi, Mom. Hi, Dad. Uh, sorry about the...
221
00:10:04,270 --> 00:10:06,105
Never mind. Come in!
222
00:10:07,398 --> 00:10:10,234
So, where's that husband of yours?
223
00:10:10,318 --> 00:10:13,279
He get a new job
at the disappointment factory?
224
00:10:13,362 --> 00:10:17,325
No, he took the kids to the grocery store
to get the special cranberries you like.
225
00:10:17,408 --> 00:10:18,701
[grunts]
226
00:10:18,784 --> 00:10:21,746
Uh, speaking of special fruit
that's been in the can...
227
00:10:21,829 --> 00:10:26,125
Now, Stan, you promised
you'd be nice to Louis.
228
00:10:26,208 --> 00:10:29,420
He's making an effort to come here today.
229
00:10:29,503 --> 00:10:32,590
Fine, but if he gives me any lip,
230
00:10:32,673 --> 00:10:37,053
we have backup reservations
at the Szechuan Palace.
231
00:10:37,136 --> 00:10:39,430
They do a fantastic white rice.
232
00:10:39,513 --> 00:10:42,183
There's absolutely no taste!
233
00:10:42,266 --> 00:10:45,311
-[siren blares]
-[horn honks]
234
00:10:45,394 --> 00:10:48,648
...58, 59, 60,
235
00:10:48,731 --> 00:10:51,525
61, 62...
236
00:10:51,609 --> 00:10:54,111
Wait, that's a toenail! Give it back!
237
00:10:54,195 --> 00:10:57,073
Hey, lady, can you hurry up?
I got my baby in the car.
238
00:10:57,156 --> 00:10:59,367
Well, I got places to be too, you know.
239
00:10:59,450 --> 00:11:02,328
Aw, bullshit! You're buying cat food
on Thanksgiving.
240
00:11:03,496 --> 00:11:04,497
[baby babbling]
241
00:11:04,580 --> 00:11:08,167
-Hey, happy Turkey Day, Gooms!
-Uh, hey-a, Vic. What, uh...
242
00:11:08,250 --> 00:11:09,794
What are you doing here?
243
00:11:09,877 --> 00:11:14,340
Worried about what wild animal left
that surprise on your walkway last night?
244
00:11:14,423 --> 00:11:17,551
No, man, from the looks of that poop,
he's not gonna be around much longer.
245
00:11:17,635 --> 00:11:20,304
Something eating him alive
from the inside, know what I mean?
246
00:11:20,388 --> 00:11:23,182
-It's like a goddamn alien in there.
-[baby crying]
247
00:11:23,265 --> 00:11:27,019
Say, I need some advice
on how to calm down Vic Junior here.
248
00:11:27,103 --> 00:11:28,354
You guys have kids, right?
249
00:11:28,437 --> 00:11:30,523
-[groans]
-Uh...
250
00:11:30,606 --> 00:11:32,858
No, Vic, we don't.
251
00:11:32,942 --> 00:11:35,152
Uh, I'm afraid we can't help you.
252
00:11:35,236 --> 00:11:38,614
[crying]
253
00:11:38,698 --> 00:11:41,158
Aw, man, I don't know where else to turn.
254
00:11:41,242 --> 00:11:43,577
I knocked at Chet's place,
but he didn't answer.
255
00:11:43,661 --> 00:11:45,246
Let me try to soothe him.
256
00:11:45,329 --> 00:11:49,041
-Oh, it's okay, Evie. You don't have to.
-I already am!
257
00:11:49,125 --> 00:11:51,544
There you go. Evie's got you now.
258
00:11:51,627 --> 00:11:54,755
Oh, thank you. You two are good people.
259
00:11:54,839 --> 00:11:56,257
Uh...
260
00:11:56,340 --> 00:11:58,759
Yeah.
261
00:11:59,969 --> 00:12:02,722
In just four short hours,
Buster Thunder Junior
262
00:12:02,805 --> 00:12:06,517
will jump the Los Angeles River,
a majestic body of water
263
00:12:06,600 --> 00:12:09,854
that flows with the waste
of Hollywood's biggest stars.
264
00:12:09,937 --> 00:12:13,733
So, where's that brother of yours?
265
00:12:13,816 --> 00:12:16,152
Maybe he was arrested
at the bus station.
266
00:12:16,235 --> 00:12:17,570
-Again.
-Dad!
267
00:12:17,653 --> 00:12:21,782
Pardon me for acknowledging
the lavender elephant in the room.
268
00:12:21,866 --> 00:12:23,117
-[door opens]
-[Louis] Hi, Dad.
269
00:12:23,200 --> 00:12:24,201
[dramatic music plays]
270
00:12:24,285 --> 00:12:25,369
Louis.
271
00:12:25,453 --> 00:12:28,080
Oh, son, I hope you didn't hear
272
00:12:28,164 --> 00:12:32,126
the horrible thing
your father just said about you.
273
00:12:32,209 --> 00:12:33,294
I did.
274
00:12:34,920 --> 00:12:36,255
[dramatic music crescendos]
275
00:12:36,756 --> 00:12:37,673
Ah!
276
00:12:37,757 --> 00:12:38,758
I love you.
277
00:12:39,925 --> 00:12:41,469
And I forgive you.
278
00:12:41,552 --> 00:12:44,346
Well, this is, uh, quite the hello.
279
00:12:44,430 --> 00:12:48,893
I know I'm not supposed to say anything,
but you're so courageous.
280
00:12:48,976 --> 00:12:50,144
[Stan] Courageous?
281
00:12:50,227 --> 00:12:52,354
I'm not afraid of catching anything.
282
00:12:52,438 --> 00:12:54,398
Just don't touch
that scraped knuckle, okay?
283
00:12:54,482 --> 00:12:57,109
Oh, this is wonderful.
284
00:12:57,193 --> 00:12:59,653
Yeah, so great.
How about some mulled wine?
285
00:12:59,737 --> 00:13:02,114
I want us to get along, son.
286
00:13:02,198 --> 00:13:05,326
This has been eating
at the pit of my stomach.
287
00:13:05,409 --> 00:13:08,662
-It moved to your stomach?
-Hey, look, a deodorant commercial!
288
00:13:08,746 --> 00:13:11,040
-[women] ♪ That's Turteltaub's! ♪
-[men] ♪ And sons! ♪
289
00:13:11,123 --> 00:13:13,125
[man] It's a schmear for your pits!
290
00:13:13,626 --> 00:13:17,254
[humming "Hush, Little Baby"]
291
00:13:17,338 --> 00:13:19,840
Hey, you're a real natural there, Lady G.
292
00:13:19,924 --> 00:13:22,551
-I practice with the dog every night.
-[whimpering]
293
00:13:22,635 --> 00:13:24,804
[Goomer] Turns out dogs
don't need solid food.
294
00:13:24,887 --> 00:13:26,138
Very cool.
295
00:13:26,222 --> 00:13:29,099
So, uh, what'd you do
to get him to be so calm?
296
00:13:29,183 --> 00:13:32,228
If I told you that,
you'd never bring him back.
297
00:13:32,311 --> 00:13:34,480
[chuckles] Oh, yeah,
you're probably right.
298
00:13:34,563 --> 00:13:36,982
Well, I don't want to interfere
with your Thanksgiving. We should go.
299
00:13:37,066 --> 00:13:39,527
No. I'm not finished yet.
300
00:13:39,610 --> 00:13:42,530
But I promised the little guy I'd teach
him how to adjust a carburetor, so--
301
00:13:42,613 --> 00:13:44,490
-I said back off!
-[Goomer chuckles]
302
00:13:44,573 --> 00:13:46,408
Well, you heard her.
303
00:13:46,492 --> 00:13:49,161
Why don't you have a tall glass
of Goomer's special eggnog,
304
00:13:49,245 --> 00:13:52,331
and we'll catch up on neighborhood gossip
when you wake up?
305
00:13:55,835 --> 00:14:01,131
Oh, I never thought
a nightmare could smell so delicious.
306
00:14:01,215 --> 00:14:03,634
Robert, I came as soon as you called.
307
00:14:03,717 --> 00:14:07,638
I'm so sorry
about your unfortunate misfortune.
308
00:14:07,721 --> 00:14:10,558
Thank you, Lou. You're a good friend.
309
00:14:10,641 --> 00:14:14,728
And don't despair.
Your insurance will cover this.
310
00:14:14,812 --> 00:14:16,564
I don't have insurance.
311
00:14:16,647 --> 00:14:20,943
I spent the money on this chicken suit,
which I did insure.
312
00:14:21,652 --> 00:14:25,072
Then you should most definitely despair.
313
00:14:25,155 --> 00:14:26,740
That's why I called.
314
00:14:26,824 --> 00:14:31,287
Now that I'm ruined,
I won't be able to pay you what I owe you.
315
00:14:31,370 --> 00:14:33,038
I hate to disappoint you,
316
00:14:33,122 --> 00:14:37,084
but I'm afraid
we're gonna have to cancel our agreement.
317
00:14:37,167 --> 00:14:39,545
I hate to disappoint you,
318
00:14:39,628 --> 00:14:43,465
but as they say in Sicily, no backsies.
319
00:14:43,549 --> 00:14:45,175
-[Pogo] Oh.
-[dramatic music plays]
320
00:14:49,597 --> 00:14:51,765
Oh, boy, they're here.
321
00:14:51,849 --> 00:14:53,976
All right, kids,
get ready to watch a battle royale
322
00:14:54,059 --> 00:14:56,353
between the Sadist
and the San Francisco Treat.
323
00:14:56,437 --> 00:14:58,397
Why does Pop-Pop hate Uncle Louis?
324
00:14:58,480 --> 00:15:01,150
Sweetie, hate is such a strong word.
325
00:15:01,233 --> 00:15:05,863
All Pop-Pop has done for the last 15 years
is reject his own flesh and blood.
326
00:15:05,946 --> 00:15:07,823
Uncle Louis is a pickle sniffer.
327
00:15:07,907 --> 00:15:09,074
-Hey!
-Ow!
328
00:15:09,158 --> 00:15:12,328
He's not a pickle sniffer.
He's a song-and-dance man.
329
00:15:12,411 --> 00:15:13,662
And you shouldn't judge him.
330
00:15:13,746 --> 00:15:16,957
If what Uncle Louis does makes him happy,
then so be it.
331
00:15:17,041 --> 00:15:18,500
Live and let live.
332
00:15:18,584 --> 00:15:22,379
Now, having said that, if I ever catch you
playing footsie with another man,
333
00:15:22,463 --> 00:15:25,132
I swear to God,
I will put you through that fucking wall!
334
00:15:25,215 --> 00:15:28,010
Now get inside
and treat him like an equal!
335
00:15:29,470 --> 00:15:30,596
What the fuck?
336
00:15:30,679 --> 00:15:32,348
[Stan and Louis laughing]
337
00:15:32,431 --> 00:15:35,851
Stan. Louis. Happy Thanksgiving.
338
00:15:35,935 --> 00:15:37,269
Hello, Frank.
339
00:15:37,353 --> 00:15:41,190
What moldy, dented cans
did you get at the food bank this year?
340
00:15:41,273 --> 00:15:44,944
Yeah, and which one of your shoes
are we boiling for dinner?
341
00:15:45,027 --> 00:15:46,278
[both laugh]
342
00:15:46,362 --> 00:15:47,655
[Louis] He's so cheap!
343
00:15:47,738 --> 00:15:51,742
[Stan] Be nice to Frank.
He's not cheap. He's poor!
344
00:15:51,825 --> 00:15:54,244
[both laugh]
345
00:15:54,328 --> 00:15:58,165
I miss how we used
to shit on Frank together.
346
00:15:58,248 --> 00:15:59,833
[chuckles] It's so easy!
347
00:15:59,917 --> 00:16:03,379
[chuckles] Yeah, Louis,
you really know how to stick it to a guy.
348
00:16:04,296 --> 00:16:08,467
Uh, stick it to a guy
with your jokes, you know.
349
00:16:08,550 --> 00:16:11,303
Not with your, uh... your penis.
350
00:16:11,387 --> 00:16:13,806
-Hey, looks like it's going well.
-Too well.
351
00:16:13,889 --> 00:16:16,016
[Louis] Sue, thank you.
352
00:16:16,100 --> 00:16:20,479
It's such a blessing to spend
one last Thanksgiving with the old man.
353
00:16:20,562 --> 00:16:22,189
I want to tell him how much I'll miss him.
354
00:16:22,272 --> 00:16:24,733
[chuckles] Yeah, but don't.
355
00:16:26,026 --> 00:16:29,071
-[Stan and Louis laughing]
-I have to stop them from being so chummy.
356
00:16:29,154 --> 00:16:32,282
Twice now he's almost said something
that would blow the whole lie apart.
357
00:16:32,366 --> 00:16:36,620
Sue, just exactly how did you see
this whole thing playing out?
358
00:16:36,704 --> 00:16:37,538
I don't know!
359
00:16:37,621 --> 00:16:40,457
I was at a gay bar. I saw my old boss
getting his pickle sniffed.
360
00:16:40,541 --> 00:16:41,583
I had to think quick.
361
00:16:41,667 --> 00:16:46,005
You have to help me keep them distracted
until the neighbors get here for dessert.
362
00:16:47,047 --> 00:16:49,633
Honey, I wish I could, but what can I do?
363
00:16:49,717 --> 00:16:52,011
They're not gonna talk to me.
They hate me.
364
00:16:52,094 --> 00:16:54,304
[both laughing]
365
00:16:54,388 --> 00:16:58,308
Oh, Dad, these are the kind of things
I'm going to miss when you're--
366
00:16:58,392 --> 00:16:59,351
Dad!
367
00:17:02,521 --> 00:17:08,277
Uh, Frank just said
he's happy Nixon got a full pardon!
368
00:17:08,360 --> 00:17:10,571
-He said what?
-I said what?
369
00:17:13,824 --> 00:17:15,951
That's right, Stan. I'm ecstatic!
370
00:17:16,035 --> 00:17:19,413
I'll tell you, you know,
I wish he did a dozen Watergates!
371
00:17:19,496 --> 00:17:21,165
-What about accountability?
-How can you say that?
372
00:17:21,248 --> 00:17:23,292
Ah, fuck accountability!
373
00:17:23,375 --> 00:17:26,670
Christ, the Democrats should've had
better locks, and you know it, Stan!
374
00:17:26,754 --> 00:17:29,048
-Are you serious?
-He did some great things with China!
375
00:17:29,131 --> 00:17:31,675
-I've heard things in my day, but this...
-[Frank] Right over!
376
00:17:31,759 --> 00:17:34,178
-[no audible dialogue]
-♪ Now thank we all our God ♪
377
00:17:34,261 --> 00:17:37,473
♪ With hearts and hands and voices ♪
378
00:17:37,556 --> 00:17:40,601
♪ Who wondrous things has done ♪
379
00:17:40,684 --> 00:17:43,771
♪ In whom his world rejoices ♪
380
00:17:43,854 --> 00:17:46,315
♪ From our mothers' arms ♪
381
00:17:46,398 --> 00:17:48,817
♪ Has blessed us on our way ♪
382
00:17:48,901 --> 00:17:52,029
♪ With countless gifts of love ♪
383
00:17:52,112 --> 00:17:55,365
♪ And still is ours today ♪
384
00:17:58,410 --> 00:18:01,205
♪ O may this bounteous God ♪
385
00:18:01,288 --> 00:18:04,041
♪ Through all our life be near us ♪
386
00:18:04,124 --> 00:18:06,752
♪ With ever joyful hearts ♪
387
00:18:06,835 --> 00:18:09,797
♪ And blessed peace to cheer us ♪
388
00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:12,925
♪ To keep us in his grace ♪
389
00:18:13,008 --> 00:18:16,303
-♪ And guide us when perplexed... ♪
-[grunting]
390
00:18:16,386 --> 00:18:19,473
-So, are you gonna get me my money?
-I'll pay!
391
00:18:19,556 --> 00:18:21,683
I will! I will! I promise!
392
00:18:21,767 --> 00:18:23,352
I think he's had enough.
393
00:18:23,435 --> 00:18:25,062
Thank you so much.
394
00:18:28,357 --> 00:18:29,983
[indistinct chatter]
395
00:18:30,067 --> 00:18:34,488
Mrs. Bonfiglio, how have you been?
396
00:18:34,571 --> 00:18:35,614
Ah, wet!
397
00:18:35,697 --> 00:18:38,700
Whoa, guys, look! Buster's about to jump!
398
00:18:38,784 --> 00:18:40,994
How do you feel
on this Thanksgiving, Buster?
399
00:18:41,078 --> 00:18:44,498
Like the original Pilgrims did
all those years ago,
400
00:18:45,082 --> 00:18:49,002
ready to kick ass
with 400 pounds between my legs!
401
00:18:49,086 --> 00:18:51,588
-[Stan] Look who's here!
-[gasps]
402
00:18:51,672 --> 00:18:54,216
-Charlie Chaplins!
-[silent film piano music playing]
403
00:18:54,299 --> 00:18:56,885
-[indistinct chatter]
-My little tramps!
404
00:18:56,969 --> 00:19:00,514
-You haven't done this in years!
-[Stan scatting]
405
00:19:00,597 --> 00:19:01,849
[Otto gasps]
406
00:19:01,932 --> 00:19:03,559
[both chuckling]
407
00:19:03,642 --> 00:19:05,853
They cloned him!
408
00:19:05,936 --> 00:19:06,895
[plate shatters]
409
00:19:07,396 --> 00:19:10,232
Look at them together.
Why aren't you arguing right now?
410
00:19:10,315 --> 00:19:13,443
I'm sorry, but I ran out of nice things
to say about Nixon.
411
00:19:14,153 --> 00:19:16,530
I mean, I... I... I guess your dad
turned me a little.
412
00:19:17,281 --> 00:19:20,117
-[applause]
-[both laughing]
413
00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:23,120
-[indistinct chatter]
-[Louis] You still got it, Dad.
414
00:19:23,203 --> 00:19:27,040
Hey, kids, did you know
I once got a hole in one at Baltusrol?
415
00:19:27,124 --> 00:19:30,711
Kevin, I hear you've got a lady
in your life.
416
00:19:30,794 --> 00:19:33,672
She'd be in my life
if she picked up the stupid phone.
417
00:19:33,755 --> 00:19:37,426
I keep calling, but she stands
over the machine, mocking me.
418
00:19:37,509 --> 00:19:38,468
I can feel it!
419
00:19:38,552 --> 00:19:39,845
Oh dear.
420
00:19:39,928 --> 00:19:42,973
Young love can be so hard.
421
00:19:43,056 --> 00:19:45,893
I'll bet there's
a perfectly sensible reason
422
00:19:45,976 --> 00:19:48,187
why she's not answering the phone.
423
00:19:48,270 --> 00:19:50,147
What's that mean? You think
she got back together with Joel?
424
00:19:50,230 --> 00:19:53,192
I'm sure whoever this Joel is,
425
00:19:53,275 --> 00:19:55,777
he's not as handsome as you are.
426
00:19:55,861 --> 00:19:59,448
What are you talking about?
He's a man! He was bar mitzvahed!
427
00:19:59,531 --> 00:20:02,284
She... she's probably not
with anyone else.
428
00:20:02,367 --> 00:20:05,579
-You mean she's dead?
-I'm not saying she's dead.
429
00:20:05,662 --> 00:20:09,625
Then it's not too late to save her life!
I got to go find her. [groans] Alice.
430
00:20:09,708 --> 00:20:12,294
I didn't know
what Nguyen-Nguyen was gonna do.
431
00:20:12,377 --> 00:20:14,504
I just told her about a Columbo episode
432
00:20:14,588 --> 00:20:17,174
where a Vietnamese woman
poisoned her husband.
433
00:20:17,257 --> 00:20:18,842
Then I lent her some bleach.
434
00:20:18,926 --> 00:20:20,844
Yeah, you probably shouldn't repeat
that story.
435
00:20:20,928 --> 00:20:23,222
Well, thanks for the eggnog and the, uh...
436
00:20:24,806 --> 00:20:27,392
the memory loss, but I better get
Vic Junior to beddy-bye.
437
00:20:27,476 --> 00:20:29,978
Where is he anyway?
Did he, uh, leave without me?
438
00:20:30,062 --> 00:20:31,730
Oh, Jesus Christ.
439
00:20:31,813 --> 00:20:34,816
Evelyn, what have you done with that baby?
440
00:20:34,900 --> 00:20:38,737
I warned you! I don't want to move again!
I like these names!
441
00:20:38,820 --> 00:20:41,031
Here we are. I was changing him.
442
00:20:41,114 --> 00:20:43,158
Oh, right. [chuckles]
443
00:20:43,242 --> 00:20:44,868
I knew you were here all along
444
00:20:44,952 --> 00:20:48,247
and not dyeing your hair
and making a break for the state line.
445
00:20:48,330 --> 00:20:50,332
Okay. [chuckles]
446
00:20:50,415 --> 00:20:51,667
Good times. Better go.
447
00:20:51,750 --> 00:20:54,628
Please, just let me sniff my Geraldine
one more time.
448
00:20:54,711 --> 00:20:57,714
Don't touch my baby!
449
00:20:57,798 --> 00:21:00,050
Your woman is fucking weird, man!
450
00:21:00,133 --> 00:21:01,260
[screams]
451
00:21:01,343 --> 00:21:06,014
For God's sake, Evelyn, move on!
We're never gonna have a kid!
452
00:21:06,098 --> 00:21:08,225
You're the one who can't face the truth!
453
00:21:08,308 --> 00:21:10,727
It wasn't clams!
454
00:21:10,811 --> 00:21:14,064
And I'm starting to think
you lied about Frank's pants!
455
00:21:14,147 --> 00:21:18,485
I stole his pants
because they made me feel alive, Ev!
456
00:21:18,568 --> 00:21:20,237
In a way you never do!
457
00:21:20,320 --> 00:21:22,447
-You all have a Happy Easter. Okay.
-[giggling]
458
00:21:22,531 --> 00:21:24,116
You don't take me dancing!
459
00:21:24,199 --> 00:21:27,536
And you've never once watched me
shit in the woods!
460
00:21:27,619 --> 00:21:29,454
A man has needs!
461
00:21:29,538 --> 00:21:33,000
This neighborhood was way more normal
when I was on the goofies.
462
00:21:34,167 --> 00:21:36,378
[man] Buster Thunder Junior
is ready to jump!
463
00:21:36,461 --> 00:21:37,629
Here he goes!
464
00:21:37,713 --> 00:21:41,883
Sue, this was lovely,
but we should be on our way.
465
00:21:41,967 --> 00:21:45,178
It's a four-hour drive,
and I'd like to have your father awake
466
00:21:45,262 --> 00:21:46,763
at James Dean Curve.
467
00:21:46,847 --> 00:21:49,349
Oh, please don't go,
but here's your coats!
468
00:21:50,017 --> 00:21:51,935
Thank you, angel.
469
00:21:52,519 --> 00:21:54,438
And thank you, Frank.
470
00:21:54,521 --> 00:21:57,149
The turkey was... competently sliced.
471
00:21:57,232 --> 00:21:59,568
And I know how hard
that must've been for you to say.
472
00:22:00,402 --> 00:22:02,863
-Good to see you, son.
-You too, Dad.
473
00:22:02,946 --> 00:22:04,948
[man on TV]
Buster just might pull this off!
474
00:22:05,032 --> 00:22:09,411
-Let's all do this again next year!
-Sue, how could you be so insensitive?
475
00:22:09,494 --> 00:22:11,747
-What?
-[man] Uh-oh, he's picked up a wobble.
476
00:22:11,830 --> 00:22:15,334
Do this again next year?
Where? On Dad's grave?
477
00:22:15,417 --> 00:22:16,501
My what?
478
00:22:16,585 --> 00:22:19,504
Sue told me, Dad. Told me you're dying.
479
00:22:19,588 --> 00:22:22,549
-You told him I was dying?
-[man] Buster is airborne!
480
00:22:22,632 --> 00:22:23,717
Not in those words.
481
00:22:23,800 --> 00:22:25,635
Exactly in those words!
482
00:22:25,719 --> 00:22:28,680
[man] And he crashes
into the concrete riverbank!
483
00:22:28,764 --> 00:22:30,098
[all gasp]
484
00:22:30,182 --> 00:22:34,061
He came so close and then shit-a the bed!
485
00:22:34,144 --> 00:22:35,437
Why would you lie to me?
486
00:22:35,520 --> 00:22:37,356
I wanted you and Dad to make up!
487
00:22:37,439 --> 00:22:38,940
You thought so little of us
488
00:22:39,024 --> 00:22:42,486
that we couldn't make up
without you putting a tumor in his brain?
489
00:22:42,569 --> 00:22:44,529
You said you didn't give a shit about him!
490
00:22:44,613 --> 00:22:47,866
-Well, that's real nice!
-Oh, as nice as disowning me, Dad?
491
00:22:47,949 --> 00:22:49,326
[Stan] You disowned yourself
492
00:22:49,409 --> 00:22:52,245
the minute you decided
to lust over other men!
493
00:22:52,329 --> 00:22:55,749
It's not lust, Dad. It's love.
I'm a human being!
494
00:22:55,832 --> 00:22:57,626
I'm just the way God made me.
495
00:22:57,709 --> 00:23:01,505
There you go,
always blaming somebody else!
496
00:23:03,715 --> 00:23:05,050
Alice!
497
00:23:05,133 --> 00:23:06,927
Alice! Come out, please!
498
00:23:07,010 --> 00:23:09,888
I'm here to prove to you
I can give you your space!
499
00:23:11,139 --> 00:23:13,642
-Oh, Alice!
-Kevin, what are you doing here?
500
00:23:13,725 --> 00:23:16,061
Where the hell have you been, young lady?
501
00:23:16,144 --> 00:23:18,814
We had Thanksgiving at my aunt's house.
502
00:23:18,897 --> 00:23:20,440
You believe in Thanksgiving?
503
00:23:20,524 --> 00:23:22,651
[pants] I thought you were Jewish.
504
00:23:22,734 --> 00:23:25,487
[chuckles]
505
00:23:25,570 --> 00:23:28,740
This is a story
we're gonna tell our grandkids. [chuckles]
506
00:23:28,824 --> 00:23:30,117
You're creeping me out.
507
00:23:30,200 --> 00:23:32,786
Am I creeping you out
down there? [chuckles]
508
00:23:33,286 --> 00:23:36,373
-Hey, Alice, is this kid bothering you?
-Is this that fucking Joel?
509
00:23:36,456 --> 00:23:37,666
No, Kevin, this is--
510
00:23:37,749 --> 00:23:39,084
-[Mrs. Goldman] Oh my God!
-[Dr. Goldman] Daniel!
511
00:23:39,167 --> 00:23:40,085
My brother!
512
00:23:40,168 --> 00:23:41,545
Ow, shit, my hand!
513
00:23:41,628 --> 00:23:42,963
You knocked out my tooth!
514
00:23:43,046 --> 00:23:44,840
[splutters] You can have one of mine.
515
00:23:44,923 --> 00:23:46,842
Kevin, get out of here!
516
00:23:46,925 --> 00:23:48,844
I never want to see you again!
517
00:23:48,927 --> 00:23:50,595
But it's Thanksgiving!
518
00:23:50,679 --> 00:23:53,723
[Louis] You have no idea
what it's like being your son!
519
00:23:53,807 --> 00:23:56,893
You have no idea
what it's like being your father!
520
00:23:56,977 --> 00:24:01,606
I had to bail you out of jail
for defiling that Greyhound station!
521
00:24:01,690 --> 00:24:04,526
Bus travel has lost all its class.
522
00:24:04,609 --> 00:24:05,610
Dad, stop!
523
00:24:05,694 --> 00:24:08,947
You shame Louis, but maybe
if his lifestyle was more accepted,
524
00:24:09,030 --> 00:24:11,533
he wouldn't have to do those things
in secret at the bus station.
525
00:24:11,616 --> 00:24:14,369
-Oh, Sue, I'd still go to the bus station.
-See?
526
00:24:14,453 --> 00:24:16,496
-The man's a deviant.
-And you're a bigot!
527
00:24:16,580 --> 00:24:19,374
Stan, come on. It's Thanksgiving.
528
00:24:19,458 --> 00:24:21,084
Louis is a good guy.
529
00:24:21,168 --> 00:24:23,587
Yeah, he's got a little sugar in his tank,
but you know...
530
00:24:23,670 --> 00:24:27,466
Sugar in the tank?
I could kick your ass across this room.
531
00:24:27,549 --> 00:24:30,135
-I was sticking up for you!
-Stay out of this.
532
00:24:30,218 --> 00:24:33,138
Like you should've stayed out
of my daughter 15 years ago.
533
00:24:33,221 --> 00:24:34,639
-Dad!
-He's right.
534
00:24:34,723 --> 00:24:38,768
Dad and I got along great until the day
you married this balding piece of shit.
535
00:24:38,852 --> 00:24:42,606
Eh, you know what?
You two can just go fuck off!
536
00:24:42,689 --> 00:24:45,650
Jesus Christ,
this woman worked herself to the bone
537
00:24:45,734 --> 00:24:47,319
to make this perfect day for you.
538
00:24:47,402 --> 00:24:50,030
And she asked me to help. Did I complain?
539
00:24:50,113 --> 00:24:51,698
A little at first.
540
00:24:51,781 --> 00:24:54,951
But then, I cut short
a very, very happy nap,
541
00:24:55,035 --> 00:24:56,244
one of those good ones
542
00:24:56,328 --> 00:24:58,914
where you're sleeping so peacefully
you feel like you're dead,
543
00:24:58,997 --> 00:25:00,874
you know, and you're thinking,
"Oh my God, it's finally over,"
544
00:25:00,957 --> 00:25:03,627
right, to drive my snotty kids
to the grocery store
545
00:25:03,710 --> 00:25:06,087
to get the fancy cranberries that I hate,
546
00:25:06,171 --> 00:25:08,423
just to help her
bring you two back together.
547
00:25:08,507 --> 00:25:09,841
And now I'm the bad guy?
548
00:25:09,925 --> 00:25:12,177
Well, fuck you and your fighting!
549
00:25:12,260 --> 00:25:14,012
Jesus Christ,
why don't you count your blessings?
550
00:25:14,095 --> 00:25:15,972
You're lucky your old man's still alive.
551
00:25:16,056 --> 00:25:18,850
Christ, what I wouldn't give
to hear my dad call me a "whiny bitch"
552
00:25:18,934 --> 00:25:20,018
just one more time!
553
00:25:20,101 --> 00:25:22,646
I'm happy to fill in, shit-bird!
554
00:25:22,729 --> 00:25:25,982
Oh, no, no, no,
I said "whiny bitch," you fuck!
555
00:25:26,066 --> 00:25:28,527
So fuck you, Stan! And fuck you, Louis!
556
00:25:28,610 --> 00:25:32,239
And, Marilyn, I really enjoyed
the story about the ducks.
557
00:25:32,322 --> 00:25:34,282
I hope that law passes
so the state doesn't kill 'em.
558
00:25:34,366 --> 00:25:36,451
-Aw.
-But fuck you!
559
00:25:36,535 --> 00:25:39,287
[groaning]
560
00:25:39,371 --> 00:25:41,081
[sad music playing]
561
00:25:45,168 --> 00:25:46,002
Ah!
562
00:25:46,086 --> 00:25:47,212
[tires squeal]
563
00:25:55,720 --> 00:25:57,973
[sobs]
564
00:25:58,056 --> 00:25:59,516
[babbling]
565
00:25:59,599 --> 00:26:02,102
Oh, you like Grandpa Bill's keys.
566
00:26:02,185 --> 00:26:03,937
Yeah.
567
00:26:04,020 --> 00:26:09,359
He was a miserable son of a bitch,
but his keys go jingle-jangle-jingle.
568
00:26:09,442 --> 00:26:11,444
[Sue chewing voraciously]
569
00:26:13,863 --> 00:26:15,282
-Hey, Sue.
-[baby laughs]
570
00:26:15,365 --> 00:26:17,867
Look, I'm sorry
that today went so badly for you.
571
00:26:17,951 --> 00:26:19,077
I can't talk now.
572
00:26:20,370 --> 00:26:21,955
I didn't eat anything all day.
573
00:26:22,038 --> 00:26:23,915
Hey, remember how you said
I was too obsessed
574
00:26:23,999 --> 00:26:27,627
with figuring out what my dad meant
when he said "box 16"?
575
00:26:27,711 --> 00:26:31,756
Well, I think this thing with Louis
is your version of that.
576
00:26:31,840 --> 00:26:34,676
And it's not good for you either. [scoffs]
577
00:26:34,759 --> 00:26:36,636
We're never gonna get what we want.
578
00:26:36,720 --> 00:26:38,096
You're right.
579
00:26:38,179 --> 00:26:39,848
I'm gonna go wolf down some cobbler
580
00:26:39,931 --> 00:26:43,351
and then pass out in the bathtub
with this thermos of mulled wine.
581
00:26:43,977 --> 00:26:45,562
You're on Megan duty.
582
00:26:47,939 --> 00:26:49,024
[laughing]
583
00:26:49,107 --> 00:26:50,984
Guess what, Megan?
584
00:26:51,067 --> 00:26:53,445
We never have to see Pop-Pop again
585
00:26:53,528 --> 00:26:55,488
'cause Mommy was nutty today.
586
00:26:55,572 --> 00:26:57,365
Yes, she was.
587
00:26:57,449 --> 00:26:59,451
[laughing] Ah!
588
00:27:00,577 --> 00:27:02,912
[Frank] Oh, you like that little one, huh?
589
00:27:05,332 --> 00:27:07,917
Oh my God. Sixteen.
590
00:27:10,378 --> 00:27:12,797
So much to be thankful for.
591
00:27:12,881 --> 00:27:14,507
-[baby babbling]
-[thud]
592
00:27:14,591 --> 00:27:15,925
Holy shit!
593
00:27:16,009 --> 00:27:18,887
-[Sue] You okay down there?
-Everyone's alive, honey bear!
594
00:27:18,970 --> 00:27:20,263
Keep drinking!
595
00:27:20,930 --> 00:27:23,892
♪ Now thank we all our God ♪
596
00:27:23,975 --> 00:27:26,645
♪ With hearts and hands and voices ♪
597
00:27:26,728 --> 00:27:29,481
♪ Who wondrous things has done ♪
598
00:27:29,564 --> 00:27:33,026
♪ In whom his world rejoices ♪
599
00:27:33,109 --> 00:27:35,528
♪ From our mothers' arms ♪
600
00:27:35,612 --> 00:27:38,657
♪ Has blessed us on our way ♪
601
00:27:38,740 --> 00:27:41,159
♪ With countless gifts of love ♪
602
00:27:41,242 --> 00:27:44,913
♪ And still is ours today ♪
603
00:27:44,996 --> 00:27:47,415
♪ Of this world and the next ♪
604
00:27:48,124 --> 00:27:50,293
♪ Of this world and the next ♪
605
00:27:53,505 --> 00:27:55,882
[Mayor Tangenti] I will turkey
your grandchildren.