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‪NETFLIX 原創影集

2
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‪（奇森與墨菲聯姻彌撒
‪下午一點，徵求輔祭）

3
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‪好，小傢伙

4
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‪只要你能撐過這一天，不讓我吐

5
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‪媽咪保證度蜜月時
‪你要我害喜多慘都行

6
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‪我的天使在那裡

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‪怎麼了嗎？

8
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‪沒有，爸爸，我只是很…

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‪開心

10
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‪蘇珊，親愛的

11
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‪妳卻步了嗎？

12
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‪卻步並不丟臉

13
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‪不，我沒有

14
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‪妳確定沒有？

15
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‪我確定

16
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‪好，但有也沒關係

17
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‪什麼？你在說什麼？

18
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‪妳現在走人，我就給妳一千塊

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‪-爸爸
‪-三千

20
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‪去歐洲旅行

21
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‪記得妳六歲時想要小馬嗎？

22
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‪小馬是妳的了

23
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‪快點清醒，取消婚禮吧

24
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‪我今天要跟法蘭克結婚

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‪妳知道我對那小子有意見

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‪妳卻拋棄妳的人生

27
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‪急著跟他結婚

28
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‪誰會在一週內就安排好婚禮？

29
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‪我只是愛他而已

30
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‪-我討厭他
‪-我要跟他結婚

31
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‪如果你不能接受
‪那我就不想跟你說話了

32
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‪再來，再來

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‪再來，再來

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‪蘇，妳好猛，法蘭克我寶刀未老

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‪閉嘴，爸

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{\an8}‪（兵單）

37
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{\an8}‪（過期）

38
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{\an8}‪（休伊朗高中高中，鰤魚加油）

39
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{\an8}‪這一題能看出醫生和溝渠工人的分別

40
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{\an8}‪我在兩加侖辣椒裡要加多少夸脫木屑

41
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‪它就會從食物

42
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‪變成塑合板？

43
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{\an8}‪凱文墨菲，明星學生

44
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{\an8}‪“新氣象的你”維持不久嘛

45
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‪你又回頭吸食大麻了？

46
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‪笨蛋

47
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{\an8}‪真是混蛋

48
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‪我很抱歉，杜金先生
‪但我爺爺剛過世

49
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‪我家深陷愁雲慘霧

50
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‪我媽超級緊繃

51
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‪我昨晚聽到我爸躲在廁所哭

52
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‪我問他好不好，他卻叫我去死

53
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‪我知道我才15歲，可是…

54
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‪我覺得要是情況不改變

55
00:03:15,528 --> 00:03:17,739
‪我有一天醒來會發現自己已經40歲

56
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‪做個爛工作
‪還有一個討厭我的搖滾神童

57
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‪答案是兩夸脫木屑

58
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‪或1.8927公升辣椒

59
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‪同學們，我想說我超恨你們這一代

60
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‪我不喜歡你們的穿著
‪髮型或怪奇音樂

61
00:03:41,429 --> 00:03:43,598
‪凱文，我最討厭你了

62
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‪但如果我忍受夢想破滅27年

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‪致力改變世界，能達到這一刻的成果

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‪該死，一切都值得了

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{\an8}‪大家現在把桌子轉過去

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‪不要看我

67
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‪杜金又哭了

68
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‪希望你們都用藥過量

69
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{\an8}‪好了，同學們，我們快到羅斯蘭堡了

70
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{\an8}‪這個美麗城市的誕生地

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‪這裡有歷史…

72
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‪快看，有毒蟲

73
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‪那個遊民用消防栓洗屁股

74
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{\an8}‪好噁心

75
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{\an8}‪你們這些小屁孩，小聲點

76
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{\an8}‪否則我就掉頭衝撞運油車

77
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‪謝謝你，菲奇先生

78
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‪我說他媽的閉嘴

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{\an8}‪莫琳，我聽說妳爺爺死了

80
00:04:44,575 --> 00:04:46,494
‪對，怎樣？

81
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‪這是妳爺爺從墳墓賞妳的

82
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‪-太瞎了
‪-這就是重點

83
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‪天啊，妳把我的眼睛打出來了

84
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‪糟了，對不起

85
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‪妳要坐牢了

86
00:04:58,798 --> 00:05:00,967
‪他們會用拖把捅妳

87
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‪拜託別把我送進監獄

88
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‪玻璃眼珠，妳上當了

89
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‪-蠢婊子
‪-我會報仇的

90
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‪讓妳的真眼珠爆掉

91
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‪只有妳的鮑魚會爆掉，未來婊子

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‪（隔離鄉村俱樂部）

93
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‪蘇，妳是男人最想要的妹妹

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‪法蘭克，你最好要照顧她

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‪否則你就完了

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‪歡迎加入這個家族，女婿

97
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‪如果你敢把我的寶貝女兒惹哭

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‪我就把你的舌根拔了

99
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‪你在祭壇上說過了，史丹

100
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‪天啊，鮑伯，他對我恨之入骨

101
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‪當然了，你搞大他女兒的肚子

102
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‪他還不知道

103
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‪那我得改寫我的賀詞

104
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{\an8}‪我租了小休伊寶寶服什麼的

105
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‪我很想告訴他
‪但蘇怕死那混蛋了，她很慘

106
00:06:11,037 --> 00:06:13,206
‪焦慮大吃，好慘

107
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‪我只為了營養吃東西

108
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‪我喜歡吃喜宴

109
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‪大家一踏上舞池，就會有一堆菜

110
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‪我想我前世可能是一隻海鷗

111
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‪天啊，這皮真好吃

112
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‪我爸打我，這傢伙會殺了我
‪他媽的韓國人還比較友善

113
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‪別忘了，就算你的親人不行

114
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‪你永遠都有我跟摩希根家族挺你

115
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‪（摩希根航空）

116
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‪（阿拉希根）

117
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‪這是我本週的第二場葬禮

118
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‪我被炒了，歐文，你得幫我找新差事

119
00:06:54,205 --> 00:06:56,916
‪他們需要更多可悲的印第安人
‪吵垃圾的事？

120
00:06:56,999 --> 00:06:58,793
‪我可以假裝在乎

121
00:06:58,876 --> 00:07:00,545
‪這裡都變樣了

122
00:07:00,628 --> 00:07:03,965
‪沒有露斯抱怨他有多討厭這裡了

123
00:07:04,048 --> 00:07:05,967
‪很好，他接受收購

124
00:07:06,050 --> 00:07:08,344
‪現在他能順從自己的心意
‪做全職市議員了

125
00:07:09,846 --> 00:07:13,307
‪別拿我們的圖騰柱
‪我嗨的時候會跟柱子說話

126
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‪天啊，瑞德，冷靜點
‪我們會沒事的

127
00:07:17,145 --> 00:07:18,396
‪我們還有工作

128
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‪我們替穩固的公司做事
‪支票不會跳的

129
00:07:22,692 --> 00:07:25,736
‪我們也受夠
‪那九層下巴吃熱狗的混蛋波哥了

130
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‪沒錯，我釋懷多了

131
00:07:28,239 --> 00:07:29,740
‪再見了，老朋友

132
00:07:29,824 --> 00:07:33,703
‪我永遠不會忘記
‪跟你一起用迷幻藥的美好時光

133
00:07:33,786 --> 00:07:37,540
‪我們沒用過迷幻藥
‪那是冰毒，你還有嗎？

134
00:07:37,623 --> 00:07:39,959
‪這是私人對話

135
00:07:40,042 --> 00:07:43,504
‪多虧了田詹堤市長的貪腐與怠惰

136
00:07:43,588 --> 00:07:46,757
‪第12選區休閒中心
‪只是取得毒品的地方

137
00:07:46,841 --> 00:07:50,595
‪但現在，這裡是打籃球得分的地方

138
00:07:51,554 --> 00:07:52,805
‪還有毒品

139
00:07:52,889 --> 00:07:55,224
‪但那是太陽下山之後的事

140
00:07:58,811 --> 00:08:01,105
‪我以你為榮，瓊西

141
00:08:01,189 --> 00:08:04,484
‪我沒有哭，這只是我的器官停止運作

142
00:08:04,567 --> 00:08:06,235
‪今天是籃板

143
00:08:06,319 --> 00:08:09,780
‪明天是198街以北有熱水

144
00:08:11,407 --> 00:08:15,453
‪如果你想要熱水，我就給你熱水

145
00:08:16,037 --> 00:08:18,664
‪-對不起，你在跟我說話嗎？
‪-閉嘴，蓋瑞

146
00:08:23,169 --> 00:08:27,882
‪（羅斯蘭堡，1761、1844與1952年
‪羅斯蘭大屠殺遺址）

147
00:08:27,965 --> 00:08:30,885
‪羅斯蘭遺產日快樂

148
00:08:30,968 --> 00:08:34,514
‪歡迎來到18世紀

149
00:08:34,597 --> 00:08:38,726
‪你們搭的奇怪黃車是什麼？

150
00:08:38,809 --> 00:08:40,436
‪那是公車，智障

151
00:08:41,270 --> 00:08:43,981
‪1761年11月的這一天

152
00:08:44,065 --> 00:08:48,361
‪羅斯蘭堡的殖民者正在吃午餐

153
00:08:48,444 --> 00:08:51,656
‪伙食有醃羊肉、鹽餅乾和鹽

154
00:08:51,739 --> 00:08:54,784
‪這時，敵對的印第安人攻來了

155
00:08:54,867 --> 00:08:57,620
‪蘇族嗎？蘇族印第安人？

156
00:08:57,703 --> 00:09:01,791
‪是肖尼族，他們發動偷襲

157
00:09:02,500 --> 00:09:06,337
‪看啊，莫琳和布麗姬特拉黃稀了

158
00:09:07,255 --> 00:09:08,506
‪需要尿布嗎？

159
00:09:08,589 --> 00:09:12,134
‪我要猛踹妳的妹妹
‪讓妳永遠生不出寶寶

160
00:09:12,218 --> 00:09:17,723
‪這些嗜血的蠻族惡意搶奪好幾穗玉米

161
00:09:17,807 --> 00:09:19,725
‪這是白人答應要給他們的

162
00:09:19,809 --> 00:09:22,311
‪走吧，好無聊的鬼話

163
00:09:22,395 --> 00:09:25,856
‪對，英法北美戰爭的傷亡人數

164
00:09:25,940 --> 00:09:27,984
‪比之後的衝突少多了

165
00:09:28,734 --> 00:09:31,737
‪這可不是羅素維爾鼠輩嗎？

166
00:09:31,821 --> 00:09:32,947
‪你

167
00:09:33,489 --> 00:09:36,576
‪看，是斯托頓那個米蟲孬種

168
00:09:36,659 --> 00:09:39,412
‪你的屁股沒露出我的棍子
‪害我沒認出你來

169
00:09:39,495 --> 00:09:44,125
‪好嗆喔，死小子準備吃我一拳了

170
00:09:45,167 --> 00:09:47,420
‪-你這混蛋
‪-婊子踢

171
00:09:48,337 --> 00:09:49,672
‪不准打架

172
00:09:49,755 --> 00:09:51,591
‪我要請治安官來

173
00:09:51,674 --> 00:09:55,219
‪現在是1974年，白痴
‪他們現在叫做豬

174
00:09:56,053 --> 00:09:56,971
‪抓住他

175
00:10:01,642 --> 00:10:03,060
‪他媽的

176
00:10:03,144 --> 00:10:04,520
‪-快跑
‪-抓住他們

177
00:10:05,605 --> 00:10:08,107
‪天啊

178
00:10:08,190 --> 00:10:12,612
‪我想把新鞋穿軟還真會挑日子

179
00:10:17,742 --> 00:10:20,620
‪好美的儀式

180
00:10:20,703 --> 00:10:23,581
‪妳哥路易斯好帥

181
00:10:24,457 --> 00:10:25,583
‪他不是妳的菜

182
00:10:25,666 --> 00:10:27,418
‪一定有人是

183
00:10:27,501 --> 00:10:30,171
‪昨天我以為有個男人在對我放電

184
00:10:30,254 --> 00:10:34,091
‪結果他只是想告訴我，我的牙縫有菜

185
00:10:34,175 --> 00:10:36,927
‪我爸今天很糟糕

186
00:10:37,011 --> 00:10:39,388
‪他說法蘭克是不可靠的愛爾蘭佬

187
00:10:39,472 --> 00:10:40,973
‪他也沒說錯

188
00:10:41,057 --> 00:10:45,645
‪妳覺得他會不會知道
‪“妳肚子裡的種”？

189
00:10:45,728 --> 00:10:47,980
‪要是他知道，我就成寡婦了

190
00:10:48,064 --> 00:10:50,608
‪我會等蜜月回來後再告訴我爸媽

191
00:10:50,691 --> 00:10:52,276
‪告訴我們什麼？

192
00:10:54,612 --> 00:10:56,781
‪（隔離鄉村俱樂部）

193
00:10:56,864 --> 00:10:59,700
‪（去隔離鄉村俱樂部）

194
00:11:03,287 --> 00:11:05,539
‪我的寶貝孫在那裡

195
00:11:05,623 --> 00:11:09,085
‪我從爺爺樹替梅根買了快樂紙

196
00:11:09,168 --> 00:11:11,128
‪看到你們真高興

197
00:11:11,212 --> 00:11:13,714
‪-謝謝你們過來
‪-當然了

198
00:11:13,798 --> 00:11:17,885
‪怎麼了？妳在電話上口氣很急

199
00:11:17,968 --> 00:11:20,221
‪我很難啟齒

200
00:11:22,181 --> 00:11:24,600
‪-法蘭克…
‪-妳終於要離婚了

201
00:11:24,684 --> 00:11:26,060
‪我就知道

202
00:11:26,143 --> 00:11:28,479
‪-我是不是說了？
‪-沒錯

203
00:11:28,562 --> 00:11:33,150
‪開車過來時，他在一個許願井停下來

204
00:11:33,234 --> 00:11:34,985
‪我沒有要離婚

205
00:11:36,904 --> 00:11:40,241
‪法蘭克的父親過世時
‪他們很多事都沒有說開來

206
00:11:40,324 --> 00:11:42,743
‪我不希望我們發生這種憾事

207
00:11:42,827 --> 00:11:47,665
‪蘇珊，妳真可愛

208
00:11:48,165 --> 00:11:50,584
‪我們之間沒有問題

209
00:11:50,668 --> 00:11:52,044
‪爸爸討厭法蘭克

210
00:11:52,128 --> 00:11:53,337
‪你一直都是

211
00:11:53,421 --> 00:11:55,214
‪沒有一直

212
00:11:55,297 --> 00:11:59,176
‪是打從我看到那個沒用的混蛋開始

213
00:12:04,640 --> 00:12:07,476
‪我很高興你感覺好多了

214
00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:10,479
‪對，妳喜歡我不哭的時候吧？

215
00:12:10,563 --> 00:12:12,273
‪愛麗絲？愛麗絲，妳在裡面嗎？

216
00:12:12,356 --> 00:12:14,024
‪糟了，是我爸

217
00:12:14,108 --> 00:12:16,193
‪他大白天在家裡做什麼？

218
00:12:16,277 --> 00:12:17,695
‪他是得了癌症嗎？

219
00:12:17,778 --> 00:12:21,282
‪寶貝，抱歉打擾妳
‪但我的筆沒墨水了

220
00:12:21,365 --> 00:12:23,242
‪這位是誰？

221
00:12:23,325 --> 00:12:26,245
‪-我什麼都沒做
‪-你一定是凱文

222
00:12:26,787 --> 00:12:28,664
‪艾文高曼醫生

223
00:12:28,748 --> 00:12:30,750
‪愛麗絲非常誇讚你

224
00:12:30,833 --> 00:12:33,836
‪-爸，別說了
‪-我還是什麼都沒做

225
00:12:33,919 --> 00:12:35,838
‪不需要假裝

226
00:12:35,921 --> 00:12:40,426
‪我也年輕過，那時死海才剛生病

227
00:12:42,970 --> 00:12:45,347
‪你們兩個都有健康青少年的衝動

228
00:12:45,431 --> 00:12:50,102
‪但我覺得你們還太年輕
‪不能完整摸索性慾

229
00:12:50,186 --> 00:12:52,271
‪也許我們可以到我的辦公室

230
00:12:52,354 --> 00:12:55,816
‪-一起坐下來談…
‪-你好丟臉

231
00:12:55,900 --> 00:12:59,111
‪你在治療過程中離開我，高醫生

232
00:12:59,195 --> 00:13:02,406
‪我正要有所突破，卻被你搞砸了

233
00:13:02,490 --> 00:13:05,868
‪我從現在開始做的任何事
‪都要算到你頭上

234
00:13:06,494 --> 00:13:08,621
‪-這個臭小子是誰？
‪-吃我啊

235
00:13:08,704 --> 00:13:09,789
‪我可能會喔

236
00:13:09,872 --> 00:13:12,374
‪去我辦公室等著
‪杰弗瑞，我馬上過去找你

237
00:13:14,043 --> 00:13:17,421
‪凱文，你想留下來吃晚餐嗎？
‪我要做紅酒燉雞

238
00:13:17,505 --> 00:13:20,174
‪-好喔，我很會吃晚餐
‪-太好了

239
00:13:20,257 --> 00:13:22,718
‪你們兩個把門打開

240
00:13:23,385 --> 00:13:25,930
‪天啊，我要逃走了

241
00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:29,725
‪各位，我叫艾德

242
00:13:29,809 --> 00:13:34,855
‪我不喜歡用“老闆”這個詞
‪叫我“管事的新朋友”吧

243
00:13:34,939 --> 00:13:37,149
‪我知道我們以前是競爭對手

244
00:13:37,233 --> 00:13:41,946
‪但如果我們一起合作
‪阿拉希根會無所不能

245
00:13:44,156 --> 00:13:45,825
‪祝大家在阿拉待得愉快

246
00:13:46,325 --> 00:13:50,079
‪看吧？事情會很順利的
‪艾德就像棉花糖三明治一樣棒

247
00:13:50,162 --> 00:13:53,290
‪你不想知道那在色情片裡代表什麼的

248
00:13:53,374 --> 00:13:56,669
‪我叫柏克，是你們的老闆

249
00:13:56,752 --> 00:14:00,673
‪第一個想知道柏克是我的名或姓的人

250
00:14:00,756 --> 00:14:02,675
‪可以來停車場找我單挑

251
00:14:03,634 --> 00:14:06,679
‪你們已經不替摩希根工作了

252
00:14:06,762 --> 00:14:08,722
‪這是正規的航空公司

253
00:14:08,806 --> 00:14:11,058
‪表示你們要詳讀規定

254
00:14:11,141 --> 00:14:14,186
‪滾瓜爛熟

255
00:14:14,270 --> 00:14:17,815
‪我不看這種東西
‪也不拿這種東西擦屁股

256
00:14:17,898 --> 00:14:20,276
‪好，冷靜
‪他是王八蛋，但他不是波哥

257
00:14:20,359 --> 00:14:22,486
‪抱歉，說吧，柏克

258
00:14:22,570 --> 00:14:24,238
‪不准你們叫我的名字

259
00:14:24,321 --> 00:14:28,534
‪稱呼我為“地勤總經理”

260
00:14:28,617 --> 00:14:29,577
‪或波哥

261
00:14:29,660 --> 00:14:31,912
‪叫這傢伙吸所有的老二吧

262
00:14:31,996 --> 00:14:34,164
‪大家別這樣

263
00:14:34,248 --> 00:14:36,792
‪好，等我一下，我會帶他們回來

264
00:14:37,334 --> 00:14:38,294
‪波哥

265
00:14:39,295 --> 00:14:40,212
‪去他的爛地方

266
00:14:42,006 --> 00:14:44,049
‪天啊，我好爽喔

267
00:14:44,133 --> 00:14:47,261
‪我還很氣、很睏、神經兮兮

268
00:14:47,344 --> 00:14:50,556
‪你們不能就這樣走掉…

269
00:14:51,056 --> 00:14:52,725
‪這是什麼地方？

270
00:14:52,808 --> 00:14:54,685
‪我們沒辦法跟這些混蛋一起做事

271
00:14:54,768 --> 00:14:56,687
‪看看這些該死的規定

272
00:14:56,770 --> 00:15:00,107
‪襯衫一定要塞進去？對顧客微笑？

273
00:15:00,190 --> 00:15:03,861
‪接下來呢？我們不能放屁進罐子
‪然後讓它飛到檀香山？

274
00:15:03,944 --> 00:15:07,114
‪-這個地方有多久了？
‪-我們要一次性請領

275
00:15:07,197 --> 00:15:11,827
‪然後去夢幻城市當全職色情攝影師

276
00:15:11,911 --> 00:15:13,579
‪加州查茲窩斯

277
00:15:13,662 --> 00:15:16,248
‪你不能辭職，我們同甘苦共患難

278
00:15:16,332 --> 00:15:17,458
‪我們是有歷史的

279
00:15:17,541 --> 00:15:18,626
‪操他的歷史

280
00:15:19,293 --> 00:15:21,170
‪下一部色情片就拍歷史劇

281
00:15:21,253 --> 00:15:23,756
‪奶奶哥倫布和拿破崙腿開開

282
00:15:23,839 --> 00:15:25,799
‪輪流出戰雞雞女王瑪麗

283
00:15:25,883 --> 00:15:29,345
‪寓教於樂，還能讓你清空蛋蛋

284
00:15:29,428 --> 00:15:31,430
‪各位，你們不能走

285
00:15:31,513 --> 00:15:33,682
‪法蘭克，冷靜點

286
00:15:33,766 --> 00:15:35,225
‪我很高興你希望我們留下來

287
00:15:35,309 --> 00:15:38,687
‪但我們對這份工作沒什麼心

288
00:15:39,647 --> 00:15:43,984
‪事實上，沒有工會
‪我們可能就被關了

289
00:15:45,694 --> 00:15:49,114
‪我這幾天不好過
‪聽著，給我機會跟艾德談

290
00:15:49,198 --> 00:15:51,992
‪他很好說話，我會解決的

291
00:15:52,493 --> 00:15:55,704
‪好吧，但如果失敗
‪就跟我們去查茲窩斯吧

292
00:15:55,788 --> 00:15:58,415
‪你當屁股替身可以撈很大

293
00:15:58,499 --> 00:16:01,293
‪爸，我要你和法蘭克和好

294
00:16:01,794 --> 00:16:04,296
‪我要你在感恩節來我們家進行

295
00:16:04,380 --> 00:16:07,257
‪我寧願在珍珠港紀念日親東條

296
00:16:07,341 --> 00:16:08,884
‪爸，我們不能再這樣子了

297
00:16:08,968 --> 00:16:12,721
‪你和法蘭克太交惡了，而我卡在中間

298
00:16:12,805 --> 00:16:15,557
‪我只是不明白妳為什麼

299
00:16:15,641 --> 00:16:19,144
‪被這種怒氣破表的人吸引

300
00:16:19,937 --> 00:16:21,647
‪但沒關係

301
00:16:21,730 --> 00:16:25,609
‪如果能讓妳開心，我們就去過感恩節

302
00:16:25,693 --> 00:16:28,070
‪-我可以講道理
‪-太好了

303
00:16:28,153 --> 00:16:31,156
‪-我還想邀請路易斯
‪-門都沒有

304
00:16:31,240 --> 00:16:33,659
‪他是同志，但他是你唯一的兒子

305
00:16:33,742 --> 00:16:35,411
‪你們兩個以前很親近

306
00:16:36,286 --> 00:16:37,663
‪爸，你們形影不離

307
00:16:38,789 --> 00:16:41,083
‪史丹，別再搞按鈴這套了

308
00:16:41,166 --> 00:16:44,545
‪記得你們會一起學卓別林走路嗎？

309
00:16:45,504 --> 00:16:47,464
‪路易斯是你的骨肉

310
00:16:47,548 --> 00:16:50,759
‪你把他趕出家門，你得解決這件事

311
00:16:50,843 --> 00:16:53,262
‪我？這是妳的錯

312
00:16:53,345 --> 00:16:54,513
‪才不是

313
00:16:54,596 --> 00:16:59,143
‪親愛的，我每隔幾年會跟路易斯聯絡

314
00:16:59,226 --> 00:17:01,645
‪他責怪的絕對是妳

315
00:17:01,729 --> 00:17:04,106
‪叮叮叮

316
00:17:04,189 --> 00:17:07,443
‪在印第安人軟弱突襲後

317
00:17:07,526 --> 00:17:11,905
‪白人殖民者打算英勇悄悄回擊

318
00:17:11,989 --> 00:17:13,198
‪（請勿踐踏草坪）

319
00:17:13,282 --> 00:17:15,451
‪在這裡，我聞到了

320
00:17:15,534 --> 00:17:17,494
‪那個紅髮小鬼嘴巴很臭

321
00:17:17,578 --> 00:17:19,079
‪他們都是紅髮

322
00:17:19,163 --> 00:17:21,290
‪真是有夠怪

323
00:17:21,373 --> 00:17:22,666
‪他們想殺了我們

324
00:17:22,750 --> 00:17:25,836
‪我們該利用惡霸的祕密武器了

325
00:17:25,919 --> 00:17:27,296
‪耍孬

326
00:17:27,379 --> 00:17:29,423
‪我們得找個大人躲在後面

327
00:17:29,506 --> 00:17:33,010
‪那個留男人髮型的可悲女人如何？

328
00:17:33,093 --> 00:17:35,387
‪你擦什麼古龍水？

329
00:17:35,471 --> 00:17:37,598
‪那是我從褲子裡做出來的

330
00:17:38,766 --> 00:17:40,976
‪你想在我的褲子裡做嗎？

331
00:17:41,060 --> 00:17:43,562
‪不用了，老大

332
00:17:44,354 --> 00:17:46,398
‪我差點就釣到他

333
00:17:47,107 --> 00:17:48,525
‪我寧可被踹

334
00:17:48,609 --> 00:17:51,153
‪你為什麼非得插那小子的會陰？

335
00:17:51,236 --> 00:17:52,863
‪我不知道他會記仇

336
00:17:54,865 --> 00:17:57,868
‪-該死，我們弄不到艾美
‪-我們可以

337
00:17:57,951 --> 00:18:01,789
‪我去年生日時
‪跟我爸看了一部超搞笑的電影

338
00:18:01,872 --> 00:18:06,043
‪裡面有個特殊能力的超殺紅髮女

339
00:18:06,126 --> 00:18:08,170
‪對，《長襪皮皮》

340
00:18:08,253 --> 00:18:09,963
‪是《大法師》啦

341
00:18:11,548 --> 00:18:15,135
‪我們可以用妳的邪惡之眼
‪把艾美發配地獄

342
00:18:19,181 --> 00:18:20,474
‪艾德，你有空嗎？

343
00:18:20,557 --> 00:18:24,269
‪法蘭克，我對你特別有空
‪我只是在聽《和諧國度》的歌

344
00:18:24,353 --> 00:18:25,187
{\an8}‪（和諧國度）

345
00:18:25,270 --> 00:18:27,981
‪在超級盃中場秀表演的怪胎？

346
00:18:28,065 --> 00:18:29,900
‪我當了十年的和諧人

347
00:18:29,983 --> 00:18:31,360
‪他們很棒

348
00:18:31,443 --> 00:18:36,031
‪眼神死的孩子們跟著班鳩琴走
‪我是說，那是好東西

349
00:18:36,115 --> 00:18:38,242
‪你介意我邊吃飯邊聊嗎？

350
00:18:39,451 --> 00:18:43,122
‪好，聽著
‪艾德，你對我的人太嚴厲了

351
00:18:43,205 --> 00:18:46,583
‪我們自有一套行得通的做事方法

352
00:18:46,667 --> 00:18:49,461
‪我們想維持摩希根的做法

353
00:18:49,545 --> 00:18:50,587
‪你懂的

354
00:18:51,588 --> 00:18:53,298
‪不，我不懂

355
00:18:53,382 --> 00:18:55,926
‪好，我說慢一點呢？

356
00:18:56,009 --> 00:18:58,512
‪我們自有一套…

357
00:18:58,595 --> 00:19:02,641
‪法蘭克，摩希根的做法
‪是你們落到我們手中的原因

358
00:19:02,724 --> 00:19:04,268
‪看看這裡

359
00:19:04,351 --> 00:19:09,314
‪你們的打卡鐘沒有分針
‪而且停在1961年

360
00:19:09,398 --> 00:19:10,816
‪我們有效率

361
00:19:10,899 --> 00:19:12,651
‪你們沒效率到

362
00:19:12,734 --> 00:19:16,655
‪去年因為遺失行李箱賠償兩百萬美金

363
00:19:16,738 --> 00:19:19,700
‪好了，我們要說
‪那有一半是萊西的關係

364
00:19:19,783 --> 00:19:21,994
‪我們沒有搞丟牠，牠只是凍僵了

365
00:19:22,077 --> 00:19:25,789
‪所以，不行，法蘭克
‪你們得聽我們的

366
00:19:25,873 --> 00:19:29,251
‪我要你們這週末進公司
‪參加額外的無薪訓練

367
00:19:30,377 --> 00:19:34,798
‪我的明星們
‪胡蘿蔔只是大地之母自己種的糖果

368
00:19:34,882 --> 00:19:39,219
‪艾德，你不能這樣對我們，好嗎？
‪我們占了公司的一半

369
00:19:39,303 --> 00:19:42,347
‪卡爾和瑞德準備閃人
‪我會跟他們一起走

370
00:19:42,431 --> 00:19:46,351
‪抱歉我愛爭論，法蘭克
‪但你是認真的嗎？

371
00:19:47,019 --> 00:19:50,772
‪我跟七月時胯下爛掉一樣真
‪這不是虛張聲勢

372
00:19:50,856 --> 00:19:53,984
‪我要求跟露斯一樣一次性請領
‪按年資算週薪

373
00:19:54,067 --> 00:19:55,903
‪而我在這裡待了20年

374
00:19:55,986 --> 00:19:58,947
‪沒錯，第一次的時候，你是

375
00:19:59,573 --> 00:20:00,407
‪什麼？

376
00:20:00,490 --> 00:20:04,786
‪你在去年聖誕節被解僱
‪然後在四月重新錄用

377
00:20:04,870 --> 00:20:08,707
‪所以你才來這裡六個月半

378
00:20:08,790 --> 00:20:11,460
‪這是你的一次性請領
‪給你50元有零錢找嗎？

379
00:20:11,543 --> 00:20:13,045
‪天啊

380
00:20:15,756 --> 00:20:16,965
‪（查克赫斯特船長）

381
00:20:17,049 --> 00:20:20,886
‪羅伯特，你現在是倒閉家庭比薩店

382
00:20:20,969 --> 00:20:23,597
‪兼機器熊奶奶店的老闆了

383
00:20:23,680 --> 00:20:26,391
‪很高興這次我們站在同一邊

384
00:20:26,475 --> 00:20:28,936
‪你不用威脅要把我分屍

385
00:20:29,019 --> 00:20:31,438
‪埋在美國每個體育場底下了

386
00:20:31,521 --> 00:20:35,025
‪對，這句嗆得真好

387
00:20:35,984 --> 00:20:40,197
‪這是有錢大家賺的開始

388
00:20:40,280 --> 00:20:43,700
‪每月房租兩百美元
‪外加八百美元保護費

389
00:20:43,784 --> 00:20:46,078
‪真是美好的一天

390
00:20:46,161 --> 00:20:50,832
‪我是世界上最快樂的男孩

391
00:21:06,014 --> 00:21:08,141
‪我拿到她的口水了

392
00:21:08,225 --> 00:21:11,395
‪現在我們可以開始糾纏了

393
00:21:12,771 --> 00:21:16,066
‪邪惡碰邪惡，把艾美往下拖

394
00:21:16,149 --> 00:21:19,444
‪讓那個遊民在她嘴裡拉屎

395
00:21:21,113 --> 00:21:22,656
‪他們有磚頭

396
00:21:22,739 --> 00:21:26,410
‪我們要怎麼躲進安全的公車？

397
00:21:26,493 --> 00:21:29,162
‪你們碰到我就是這麼害怕嗎？

398
00:21:30,414 --> 00:21:31,915
‪太酷了

399
00:21:31,999 --> 00:21:33,458
‪你們看這個

400
00:21:34,584 --> 00:21:38,046
‪他們雖寡不敵眾、勝算渺茫

401
00:21:38,130 --> 00:21:40,882
‪但英勇的白人開拓者

402
00:21:40,966 --> 00:21:47,723
‪單靠智慧與槍枝
‪就征服了營養不良的野蠻人

403
00:21:47,806 --> 00:21:50,225
‪我有辦法了

404
00:21:52,227 --> 00:21:54,688
‪-他媽的，我的胸骨
‪-快跑

405
00:21:57,607 --> 00:21:58,525
‪你們死定了

406
00:21:59,234 --> 00:22:01,236
‪該死，快開門

407
00:22:01,320 --> 00:22:04,281
‪別去找天使，老爹，讓我們進去

408
00:22:04,364 --> 00:22:06,325
‪-開門
‪-天啊，開門

409
00:22:07,659 --> 00:22:09,536
‪不，布朗神父

410
00:22:15,375 --> 00:22:16,293
‪別鬧了

411
00:22:16,376 --> 00:22:18,003
‪快對公車開槍

412
00:22:19,838 --> 00:22:21,298
‪邪惡碰邪惡

413
00:22:23,508 --> 00:22:25,927
‪不會吧

414
00:22:26,011 --> 00:22:27,763
‪邪惡之眼成功了

415
00:22:27,846 --> 00:22:29,556
‪我不能呼吸

416
00:22:29,639 --> 00:22:31,641
‪快叫救護車

417
00:22:31,725 --> 00:22:33,435
‪現在你知道那叫什麼了

418
00:22:33,518 --> 00:22:35,062
‪這是怎麼回事？

419
00:22:35,145 --> 00:22:36,396
‪他對我們丟匾額

420
00:22:36,480 --> 00:22:38,065
‪-是他起的頭
‪-夠了

421
00:22:38,148 --> 00:22:39,733
‪好，你們叫什麼名字？

422
00:22:39,816 --> 00:22:40,901
‪比爾墨菲

423
00:22:40,984 --> 00:22:42,152
‪占美菲茨西蒙斯

424
00:22:42,694 --> 00:22:43,904
‪別騙我，小子

425
00:22:43,987 --> 00:22:46,490
‪但我的名字是占美菲茨西蒙斯啊

426
00:22:46,573 --> 00:22:47,699
‪我叫你別說謊

427
00:22:49,159 --> 00:22:50,410
‪去死吧

428
00:22:52,245 --> 00:22:56,416
‪熱十字麵包

429
00:22:58,085 --> 00:23:01,797
‪我想告訴你，爸爸
‪但我怕你會做出什麼事

430
00:23:01,880 --> 00:23:02,881
‪妳說得對

431
00:23:02,964 --> 00:23:07,469
‪我要殺了那指甲骯髒的羅密歐
‪他性侵了我的寶寶

432
00:23:07,552 --> 00:23:10,889
‪他沒有性侵我，我也不是寶寶

433
00:23:10,972 --> 00:23:13,850
‪我21歲了，可以喝酒和投票

434
00:23:13,934 --> 00:23:16,895
‪現在我結婚了，還可以申請信用卡

435
00:23:16,978 --> 00:23:20,565
‪額度最好高一點
‪因為妳別想再跟我拿一毛錢了

436
00:23:20,649 --> 00:23:23,026
‪不，爸爸，拜託

437
00:23:23,110 --> 00:23:27,447
‪妹妹，該切蛋糕了…沒事吧？

438
00:23:27,531 --> 00:23:31,451
‪妳妹因為要生孩子，所以急著結婚

439
00:23:31,535 --> 00:23:33,620
‪蘇，不會吧

440
00:23:33,703 --> 00:23:36,081
‪就是

441
00:23:36,164 --> 00:23:38,667
‪那個黑手玷污了她

442
00:23:38,750 --> 00:23:41,044
‪而且是在福特汽車裡面

443
00:23:41,128 --> 00:23:43,213
‪妳不是這個家的一分子了

444
00:23:43,296 --> 00:23:44,756
‪爸爸，你怎麼能說這種話？

445
00:23:44,840 --> 00:23:46,425
‪妳騙了我

446
00:23:46,508 --> 00:23:50,387
‪我的人生還能更失望嗎？

447
00:23:50,470 --> 00:23:53,223
‪是嗎？路易斯是娘炮

448
00:23:55,767 --> 00:23:57,602
‪你是什麼炮？

449
00:23:57,686 --> 00:24:00,856
‪我不會原諒自己
‪那天晚上對路易斯做的事

450
00:24:00,939 --> 00:24:03,358
‪我知道他因此恨我

451
00:24:03,442 --> 00:24:06,153
‪但你對他也一樣糟

452
00:24:06,236 --> 00:24:08,238
‪怎麼可能？

453
00:24:08,321 --> 00:24:12,075
‪妳爸已經七年沒跟路易斯說過話了

454
00:24:12,159 --> 00:24:15,078
‪爸爸，他是你兒子，有心一點吧

455
00:24:15,162 --> 00:24:17,706
‪為什麼？好讓他再讓我心碎嗎？

456
00:24:17,789 --> 00:24:21,460
‪如果你不能接受他
‪我就不跟你往來了

457
00:24:21,543 --> 00:24:24,421
‪-我無所謂
‪-史丹利柏爾奇森

458
00:24:25,797 --> 00:24:28,508
‪你已經失去一個兒子了

459
00:24:28,592 --> 00:24:30,802
‪現在要找女兒的碴？

460
00:24:30,886 --> 00:24:33,555
‪老天，妳可別也這樣

461
00:24:33,638 --> 00:24:36,808
‪親愛的，我一向支持你

462
00:24:36,892 --> 00:24:41,062
‪但我不想老了只有你作伴

463
00:24:41,146 --> 00:24:44,941
‪只能重溫你一桿進洞的事

464
00:24:45,025 --> 00:24:46,735
‪那是奇蹟

465
00:24:46,818 --> 00:24:49,112
‪他們招待我吃開胃菜

466
00:24:49,196 --> 00:24:51,907
‪我只想要家人言歸於好

467
00:24:52,574 --> 00:24:54,659
‪這不公平

468
00:24:54,743 --> 00:25:00,499
‪妳知道我受不了妳哭
‪妳可能因此才搞這一齣

469
00:25:00,582 --> 00:25:02,334
‪這不是我現在哭的原因

470
00:25:02,417 --> 00:25:05,295
‪好，天使

471
00:25:05,378 --> 00:25:07,255
‪拜託妳別哭了

472
00:25:07,339 --> 00:25:09,257
‪我們會去過感恩節

473
00:25:09,341 --> 00:25:10,342
‪謝謝

474
00:25:10,425 --> 00:25:15,597
‪我會親切對待所謂的兒子

475
00:25:15,680 --> 00:25:21,186
‪條件是讓我說一桿進洞的事
‪而且妳不准翻白眼

476
00:25:30,070 --> 00:25:32,405
‪阿門

477
00:25:32,489 --> 00:25:34,157
‪撒旦萬歲

478
00:25:34,241 --> 00:25:35,951
‪凱文，在晚餐開動前

479
00:25:36,034 --> 00:25:39,829
‪我們都會分享
‪今天的一則趣事，我先說

480
00:25:41,039 --> 00:25:42,874
‪我剛剛跟一個病人在一起

481
00:25:42,958 --> 00:25:47,003
‪他有點奇形怪狀
‪看起來有點像大拇指

482
00:25:47,087 --> 00:25:49,673
‪他不自主地在林子裡排便

483
00:25:49,756 --> 00:25:53,885
‪這起因於他童年的一件慘案…

484
00:25:54,678 --> 00:25:57,931
‪這恐怕代表我有病人等著緊急治療

485
00:25:58,014 --> 00:26:01,518
‪但我會在48分鐘後回來
‪參加週一的鄉村民謠夜

486
00:26:01,601 --> 00:26:04,062
‪-我喜歡唱歌
‪-爸

487
00:26:04,646 --> 00:26:07,816
‪你媽媽說你今天出事了

488
00:26:07,899 --> 00:26:09,985
‪你要告訴我怎麼回事嗎？

489
00:26:10,068 --> 00:26:12,946
‪我的腦袋去了紅場

490
00:26:15,156 --> 00:26:18,577
‪羅斯蘭市長田詹堤今天下午宣布

491
00:26:18,660 --> 00:26:23,248
‪懷茨白勒與平頓高地之間
‪新架高的收費公路計畫生變

492
00:26:23,832 --> 00:26:25,834
‪媽咪今天表現很好，親愛的

493
00:26:25,917 --> 00:26:27,252
‪她沒有抽菸

494
00:26:27,794 --> 00:26:30,589
‪我們家很快就會好起來

495
00:26:39,055 --> 00:26:40,515
‪幹

496
00:26:40,599 --> 00:26:41,558
‪（建議收費公路）

497
00:26:41,641 --> 00:26:44,936
‪約瑟夫瓦拉奇收費公路
‪計畫穿越小愛爾蘭

498
00:26:45,020 --> 00:26:47,188
‪但我們發現穿越第12選區

499
00:26:47,272 --> 00:26:49,316
‪只會讓幾個…

500
00:26:50,442 --> 00:26:52,527
‪不受歡迎的人無家可歸

501
00:26:52,611 --> 00:26:56,364
‪這些人過的生活
‪把他們的房子剷平是相形進步

502
00:26:56,448 --> 00:26:59,618
‪-他媽的王八蛋去死
‪-你說什麼，寶貝？

503
00:26:59,701 --> 00:27:02,162
‪我說：“他媽的王八蛋去死”

504
00:27:02,245 --> 00:27:04,289
‪我只是想確定你沒事

505
00:27:05,290 --> 00:27:08,460
‪今天早上起床神清氣爽

506
00:27:08,543 --> 00:27:11,796
‪我心裡想著特別的事

507
00:27:12,380 --> 00:27:14,299
‪昨晚我認識一個新女孩

508
00:27:14,382 --> 00:27:16,551
‪就在附近

509
00:27:17,052 --> 00:27:18,470
‪喔耶

510
00:27:19,304 --> 00:27:24,225
‪我隱約覺得好事來了

511
00:27:26,519 --> 00:27:31,858
‪我隱約覺得好事來了

512
00:27:32,776 --> 00:27:34,819
‪好事來了

513
00:27:34,903 --> 00:27:36,237
‪喔耶

514
00:27:37,322 --> 00:27:42,202
‪我隱約覺得好事來了

515
00:27:50,085 --> 00:27:51,044
‪吉他獨奏

516
00:27:58,802 --> 00:28:01,721
‪-凱文，你挺會撥弦的
‪-你自己也不賴

517
00:28:01,805 --> 00:28:04,224
{\an8}‪我跟金斯頓三重奏其中一人靜坐過

518
00:28:04,307 --> 00:28:06,226
{\an8}‪我想還是最大咖那個

519
00:28:06,309 --> 00:28:08,144
{\an8}‪真的嗎？

520
00:28:08,228 --> 00:28:10,021
‪我不知道那是誰，但好酷

521
00:28:10,105 --> 00:28:11,398
‪愛麗絲，一起來

522
00:28:11,481 --> 00:28:14,067
‪你好丟臉

523
00:28:14,150 --> 00:28:16,152
‪字幕翻譯：張倩茜