1 00:00:13,763 --> 00:00:17,983 This is the final boarding call for Mohican Airways flight 38, 2 00:00:18,059 --> 00:00:20,649 hopefully flying nonstop to Cleveland. 3 00:00:20,729 --> 00:00:22,859 Thanks for taking me on this trip, Bob. 4 00:00:22,939 --> 00:00:25,439 I promise, after these training sessions, 5 00:00:25,525 --> 00:00:28,395 there won't be any more problems with that X-ray doohickey. 6 00:00:28,486 --> 00:00:30,066 That's splendid, Red. 7 00:00:30,155 --> 00:00:32,405 I just hope that teacher knows the difference 8 00:00:32,490 --> 00:00:34,700 between giving lessons and giving orders, 9 00:00:34,784 --> 00:00:37,004 'cause I don't like being pushed around. 10 00:00:37,787 --> 00:00:39,157 Don't like it one bit. 11 00:00:39,247 --> 00:00:41,617 Oh, Christ, are you gonna talk the whole flight? 12 00:00:41,708 --> 00:00:43,498 Only until the quaaludes kick in. 13 00:00:43,585 --> 00:00:48,005 This trip is gonna be great. Just you and me, the two musketeers. 14 00:00:48,089 --> 00:00:52,389 Thanks for letting me come along, Bob. Things at home are a fucking nightmare. 15 00:00:52,469 --> 00:00:54,639 Aw, shit, Frank's coming? 16 00:00:54,721 --> 00:00:57,061 Yes, he is. Now move your crap off my seat. 17 00:00:57,140 --> 00:00:59,980 - You're not the boss of me! - Yes, I am! That's all I am! 18 00:01:00,060 --> 00:01:02,770 - Hold the plane for Rosie! - Him too? 19 00:01:02,854 --> 00:01:06,444 Ooh, boy. This trip came at the right time. 20 00:01:06,524 --> 00:01:11,284 Now I can clear my head and figure out how I can stop that shifty-ass mayor 21 00:01:11,362 --> 00:01:13,162 from ruining my neighborhood. 22 00:01:13,239 --> 00:01:15,329 And I'm giving my wife four days to realize 23 00:01:15,408 --> 00:01:18,618 that when she married me, she struck fucking gold. 24 00:01:18,703 --> 00:01:21,713 And I'm gonna patch things up with my son! 25 00:01:22,499 --> 00:01:25,129 Ah, shit. Maybe next year. 26 00:01:36,012 --> 00:01:38,432 ♪ Come and get your love ♪ 27 00:01:40,558 --> 00:01:43,188 ♪ Come and get your love ♪ 28 00:01:45,063 --> 00:01:47,273 ♪ Come and get your love ♪ 29 00:01:49,442 --> 00:01:51,742 ♪ Come and get your love ♪ 30 00:01:53,488 --> 00:01:55,408 ♪ Come and get your love Come and get your love ♪ 31 00:01:55,432 --> 00:01:56,892 ♪ Come and get your love now ♪ 32 00:01:57,951 --> 00:01:59,871 ♪ Come and get your love Come and get your love ♪ 33 00:01:59,953 --> 00:02:01,253 ♪ Come and get your love now ♪ 34 00:02:01,329 --> 00:02:02,789 Ah! 35 00:02:02,872 --> 00:02:04,792 ♪ Come and get your love Come and get your love ♪ 36 00:02:04,816 --> 00:02:06,566 ♪ Come and get your love now ♪ 37 00:02:07,043 --> 00:02:08,963 ♪ Come and get your love Come and get your love ♪ 38 00:02:08,987 --> 00:02:10,633 ♪ Come and get your love now ♪ 39 00:02:14,425 --> 00:02:17,255 This Sunday, celebrate the mellow West Coast sounds 40 00:02:17,345 --> 00:02:19,755 of the new Kweeze 109.5 41 00:02:19,848 --> 00:02:22,848 at the sunniest, breeziest blowout of the fall: 42 00:02:22,934 --> 00:02:24,814 KweezeToberfest. 43 00:02:25,311 --> 00:02:27,151 Get your citrus on, 44 00:02:27,230 --> 00:02:29,520 try something called an avocado, 45 00:02:29,607 --> 00:02:32,857 and kick back to tranquil, easy vibes 46 00:02:32,944 --> 00:02:36,114 from La Cienega Sunset, La Cienega Sunrise, 47 00:02:36,197 --> 00:02:40,867 Pomona Freeway, Mild Salsa Alert, and others! 48 00:02:41,244 --> 00:02:44,334 Did you hear that? He's talking about you! 49 00:02:45,415 --> 00:02:47,165 "And others!" 50 00:02:47,250 --> 00:02:49,840 Oh, my God! This is our big break! 51 00:02:49,919 --> 00:02:52,049 How much pussy can you get when you're "and others"? 52 00:02:52,130 --> 00:02:55,840 I don't know, but I think you're gonna leave that washing machine behind. 53 00:02:55,925 --> 00:02:57,635 Y'all mind if I put a load in her? 54 00:02:57,719 --> 00:03:00,559 Hey, hey, let's focus on the music now. 55 00:03:00,638 --> 00:03:03,598 If all you want to do is get some stank on your hang-down, 56 00:03:03,683 --> 00:03:06,103 start... cleaning chimneys. 57 00:03:07,270 --> 00:03:09,690 I thought we were here to bring this band into the big time. 58 00:03:09,772 --> 00:03:12,152 Yeah, we are. Listen to Vic, guys. 59 00:03:12,233 --> 00:03:14,493 He's been in the music business forever. 60 00:03:15,528 --> 00:03:18,408 - Well, not forever, Kevin. - Well, longer than I've been alive. 61 00:03:18,489 --> 00:03:21,449 Hey, man, I only got 15 years on you! 62 00:03:21,534 --> 00:03:23,954 Let me tell you something, it goes like that! 63 00:03:24,662 --> 00:03:27,542 Now we got a lot of work ahead of us before Sunday. 64 00:03:27,624 --> 00:03:30,214 We're gonna change your look, change your names, 65 00:03:30,293 --> 00:03:33,173 work on your sound until it's breezy as shit. 66 00:03:33,922 --> 00:03:38,642 No pressure, but if this doesn't work out, I'm gonna kill myself. 67 00:03:39,761 --> 00:03:41,801 Now let's get fucking mellow! 68 00:03:42,722 --> 00:03:44,352 Uh, this is your captain speaking. 69 00:03:44,432 --> 00:03:47,232 We are now beginning our descent into Cleveland. 70 00:03:56,444 --> 00:03:58,034 This bed's for me and Frank. 71 00:04:00,281 --> 00:04:02,871 I've been holding that in since Steubenville. 72 00:04:02,951 --> 00:04:05,501 Jesus Christ, I'll take the other bed. 73 00:04:05,578 --> 00:04:09,538 I'll sleep on the chair and the luggage rack. 74 00:04:09,624 --> 00:04:11,084 Better call the missus first. 75 00:04:13,086 --> 00:04:16,626 Oh, there's so much to see in this glorious city. 76 00:04:16,714 --> 00:04:19,304 James Garfield's birthplace... 77 00:04:19,384 --> 00:04:21,394 ...Eliot Ness's deathplace. 78 00:04:21,469 --> 00:04:25,349 Oh, my God, Frank, this one's gonna get your ding-dong ringing! 79 00:04:25,431 --> 00:04:27,521 The Bowling Ball Museum! 80 00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:29,640 They have Hitler's personal ball. 81 00:04:29,727 --> 00:04:33,687 - He only had the one, you know. - Hey, Bob, don't forget why we're here. 82 00:04:33,773 --> 00:04:36,403 We got to get certified to run that fucking X-ray machine 83 00:04:36,484 --> 00:04:37,994 so this airline can stay in the sky. 84 00:04:38,069 --> 00:04:40,529 Okay, take it easy, Frank. 85 00:04:40,613 --> 00:04:43,743 You know what they say, all work and no nougat... 86 00:04:44,659 --> 00:04:48,499 - Bob, are you allowed to eat that stuff? - It was a long flight. 87 00:04:48,579 --> 00:04:51,249 Taffy helps unclog the ears. 88 00:04:51,332 --> 00:04:55,212 I'm fine, baby. We're all in the one room, but it should be okay. 89 00:04:57,422 --> 00:04:59,802 I'm motorboating myself. 90 00:05:03,136 --> 00:05:05,926 Yeah, I still regret saving his life. 91 00:05:06,014 --> 00:05:08,024 See you soon now. Love you. 92 00:05:08,516 --> 00:05:10,096 Hey, you want to call home, Frank? 93 00:05:10,184 --> 00:05:13,654 Sure. I'll break the bad news to Sue that my plane landed safely. 94 00:05:15,857 --> 00:05:16,857 Hey, you know what? 95 00:05:16,899 --> 00:05:18,899 When I left this morning, she told me not to call. 96 00:05:18,985 --> 00:05:20,185 So fine, I won't. 97 00:05:20,278 --> 00:05:23,568 And besides, I don't want to hear any more shit from her about my dad. 98 00:05:23,656 --> 00:05:24,956 So fuck it. 99 00:05:27,744 --> 00:05:28,834 Good for you. 100 00:05:28,911 --> 00:05:30,961 Thanks, Bob. I'm glad somebody supports me. 101 00:05:31,039 --> 00:05:34,749 No, I was just reading the name of this candy bar. 102 00:05:39,088 --> 00:05:42,718 Fucking ingrate. Sucker punches me in the kisser. 103 00:05:42,800 --> 00:05:47,180 His old man who put clothes on his back. The thankless fuck. 104 00:05:47,263 --> 00:05:50,063 The guys in the kitchen just loved your story 105 00:05:50,141 --> 00:05:53,901 about tricking those immigrants into painting your house. Pie's on us. 106 00:05:53,978 --> 00:05:58,938 Well, that sweet smile is the sugar in my coffee. 107 00:05:59,025 --> 00:06:02,985 Aw, now aren't you the most darling man who ever lived? 108 00:06:08,576 --> 00:06:09,876 Attaboy. 109 00:06:19,629 --> 00:06:22,669 One. Two. Three. Door. 110 00:06:22,757 --> 00:06:24,087 Bruce again! 111 00:06:24,175 --> 00:06:27,965 It's always Bruce. Every space has a door on it. 112 00:06:29,097 --> 00:06:30,517 Bruce again! 113 00:06:30,598 --> 00:06:32,808 - This game sucks! - Ah! 114 00:06:32,892 --> 00:06:34,232 Bruce again! 115 00:06:34,310 --> 00:06:36,980 You jerk! You're worse than Dad. 116 00:06:37,063 --> 00:06:40,233 - Nobody's worse than that piece of shit. - Watch your mouth! 117 00:06:40,316 --> 00:06:42,146 And don't talk about your father like that. 118 00:06:42,235 --> 00:06:44,355 Oh, so we're not allowed to hate him, but you are? 119 00:06:44,445 --> 00:06:48,025 - I don't hate him. - Oh, I guess I got confused this morning 120 00:06:48,116 --> 00:06:50,026 when I heard you tell Dad, "I hate you." 121 00:06:50,118 --> 00:06:52,998 It's just something married people say to each other sometimes. 122 00:06:53,079 --> 00:06:56,419 Do they also say, "I knew it was a mistake when I was walking down the aisle"? 123 00:06:56,499 --> 00:06:59,260 Why do you kids always hear what you're not supposed to hear? 124 00:06:59,293 --> 00:07:01,673 You have no idea what I've heard. 125 00:07:02,630 --> 00:07:04,130 And seen. 126 00:07:07,218 --> 00:07:09,758 ♪ Catamarans go cruising by ♪ 127 00:07:10,430 --> 00:07:14,140 ♪ That's why they call me Mr. Chilled-Out Guy ♪ 128 00:07:14,225 --> 00:07:16,805 That's perfect! Still too funky. 129 00:07:17,311 --> 00:07:19,861 So take the funk out, take the rock out, 130 00:07:19,939 --> 00:07:22,279 put a little blues in there, take that out, 131 00:07:22,358 --> 00:07:26,648 take out all the excitement and put me to sleep. Let's go again. 132 00:07:30,700 --> 00:07:32,620 - Fuck you, Rustvale! - Oh, yeah? 133 00:07:33,035 --> 00:07:36,285 Well, you've got a titty bar in your downtown! 134 00:07:36,706 --> 00:07:39,206 Full nude, you fucking animals! 135 00:07:40,084 --> 00:07:42,754 All right, let's put these fairies to sleep, 136 00:07:42,837 --> 00:07:45,547 and we're in the champeen-ship game! 137 00:07:58,144 --> 00:08:01,064 Time to put the birdie in the birdhouse! 138 00:08:09,572 --> 00:08:12,992 Hey, hey! That was my son you hurt, you freckled piece of shit! 139 00:08:13,075 --> 00:08:14,615 You're next, old man! 140 00:08:14,702 --> 00:08:17,002 Attaboy, Bill! That's my Rat. 141 00:08:17,079 --> 00:08:19,079 Dad, I scored the winning goal. 142 00:08:19,165 --> 00:08:20,465 Don't be so needy. 143 00:08:21,959 --> 00:08:25,299 Enjoy that hatred, son. You've earned it. 144 00:08:28,591 --> 00:08:32,261 But that's my coach-janitor-dad. 145 00:08:34,430 --> 00:08:36,640 Welcome to Invasive Industries. 146 00:08:36,724 --> 00:08:40,064 You are here to get FAA-certified 147 00:08:40,144 --> 00:08:44,444 to operate the C-Thru-U 2000 X-Ray Luggage Scanner. 148 00:08:44,524 --> 00:08:46,074 My name is Cliff Haskins, 149 00:08:46,150 --> 00:08:52,700 and over the next few days, I'm really gonna see what you're made of! 150 00:08:55,785 --> 00:08:58,155 All right. One of those groups. 151 00:08:58,246 --> 00:08:59,546 Let's meet your classmates. 152 00:08:59,622 --> 00:09:02,542 - Uh... say hello to Mohican Airways. - How's it going, fellas? 153 00:09:02,625 --> 00:09:05,705 - Wisconsin Dairy Air. - Hey, dere! 154 00:09:05,795 --> 00:09:07,375 Florida Panhandle Airlines. 155 00:09:07,463 --> 00:09:09,593 - Jimmie Johnson! - Okeechobee! 156 00:09:09,674 --> 00:09:11,474 And Alaquippa Airlines. 157 00:09:11,551 --> 00:09:12,641 - Hello, everybody. - Morning. 158 00:09:12,718 --> 00:09:17,558 Now, I know Mohican and Alaquippa are adversaries on the tarmac, 159 00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:20,140 but here, we are all flying in the same direction. 160 00:09:20,226 --> 00:09:23,556 If you flew in a different direction on that flight to Wichita, 161 00:09:23,646 --> 00:09:26,396 that college volleyball team would still be alive. 162 00:09:26,482 --> 00:09:27,782 Oh, right. 163 00:09:29,610 --> 00:09:30,780 Gator meat! 164 00:09:32,113 --> 00:09:34,993 Okay, okay, enough fun. 165 00:09:35,074 --> 00:09:36,784 Hey, hey, this is important stuff. 166 00:09:36,867 --> 00:09:39,907 I left my pregnant wife at home to do this, okay? So pay attention. 167 00:09:39,996 --> 00:09:42,116 Really? That's, uh... 168 00:09:42,206 --> 00:09:44,786 That's kind of messed up there, don't you think there, buddy? 169 00:09:44,875 --> 00:09:46,745 - Who the fuck are you? - You know, Frank, 170 00:09:46,836 --> 00:09:49,006 lashing out is the first sign of denial. 171 00:09:49,088 --> 00:09:52,048 Ah, fuck you, Ed! Talk about X-rays! 172 00:09:52,133 --> 00:09:54,183 Okay, open your books to chapter one. 173 00:09:54,260 --> 00:09:56,760 "What is a gun and what does it look like?" 174 00:09:57,179 --> 00:10:00,389 Let's go again. Relax me, you fuckers! 175 00:10:04,186 --> 00:10:07,106 ♪ I'm at sea, I'm at sea ♪ 176 00:10:07,815 --> 00:10:11,775 ♪ Not sure where this breeze Is taking me ♪ 177 00:10:38,471 --> 00:10:41,471 ♪ My catamaran is unanchored And I'm free ♪ 178 00:10:42,642 --> 00:10:48,152 ♪ So why do I feel so at sea? ♪ 179 00:10:50,983 --> 00:10:52,033 Three more times. 180 00:10:57,573 --> 00:11:00,123 All right, Skeeter, this is your chance. 181 00:11:00,201 --> 00:11:02,831 You're finally running the Tilt-A-Whirl. 182 00:11:02,912 --> 00:11:06,082 This next moment will define your legacy. 183 00:11:23,849 --> 00:11:27,399 It's times like this when I wish I could read. 184 00:11:28,521 --> 00:11:33,321 Hey, all right, today we celebrate the birth of The Kweeze! 185 00:11:36,278 --> 00:11:40,698 Now, let's give a nice soft-rock hand to Laurel Canyon Boulevard 186 00:11:40,783 --> 00:11:43,543 with their hit single "Valley Shortcuts." 187 00:11:45,162 --> 00:11:47,622 ♪ Valley shortcuts ♪ 188 00:11:47,707 --> 00:11:49,417 Alice! Over here! 189 00:11:50,334 --> 00:11:51,464 It's me, Kevin! 190 00:11:51,544 --> 00:11:55,214 I almost didn't recognize you. You look like you're in a rum commercial. 191 00:11:55,631 --> 00:11:56,931 Oh, thanks, yeah! 192 00:11:57,007 --> 00:12:00,217 Vic said this is the hot look the industry wants, so... 193 00:12:00,302 --> 00:12:04,182 Oh, sorry I wasn't in school yesterday. Vic's been rehearsing us since Tuesday. 194 00:12:04,265 --> 00:12:06,885 I haven't eaten anything except iguana chow the last few days, 195 00:12:06,976 --> 00:12:08,556 but I feel great. 196 00:12:08,644 --> 00:12:11,814 Kevin, I don't know about this Vic guy. 197 00:12:11,897 --> 00:12:15,937 He's changing everything about you. Are you really okay with all this? 198 00:12:16,026 --> 00:12:18,066 - Why are you coming down on me? - I'm not. 199 00:12:18,154 --> 00:12:22,284 Yes, you are! You're, like, being all negative about my dreams. 200 00:12:22,366 --> 00:12:24,246 You're just like my dad, except you smell great! 201 00:12:24,326 --> 00:12:29,246 - It's because I care about you. - Well, Vic hasn't changed me one bit. 202 00:12:29,331 --> 00:12:35,051 And mark my words, Kevin Murphy's gonna be famous, or my name isn't Maui Mike. 203 00:12:35,546 --> 00:12:38,966 Oh, yeah, Vic told me my new stage name is Maui Mike. 204 00:12:39,049 --> 00:12:42,179 Well, Mike, if you see Kevin, 205 00:12:42,261 --> 00:12:46,141 tell him I miss him and his music. 206 00:12:50,811 --> 00:12:52,151 That's all for today. 207 00:12:52,688 --> 00:12:55,518 Excellent work, everyone, especially Sue, 208 00:12:55,608 --> 00:12:57,988 who very bravely self-leuraged. 209 00:12:58,527 --> 00:12:59,857 Good job, Sue. 210 00:13:00,988 --> 00:13:02,658 Sue, what's wrong? 211 00:13:02,740 --> 00:13:06,040 You were doing a lot of cursing during the serenity exercise. 212 00:13:06,118 --> 00:13:07,418 I'm fine. 213 00:13:08,537 --> 00:13:11,417 Frank's being such a jerk. 214 00:13:11,499 --> 00:13:14,499 He left on a work trip and hasn't called once. 215 00:13:14,585 --> 00:13:17,045 And it's up to him to call because he's in the wrong. 216 00:13:17,129 --> 00:13:19,629 Aw, Sue. I'm glad you've learned 217 00:13:19,715 --> 00:13:22,715 the most valuable lesson a woman can learn: 218 00:13:22,802 --> 00:13:25,012 we do not need men. 219 00:13:25,095 --> 00:13:27,715 Well, I guess it feels that way sometimes. 220 00:13:27,807 --> 00:13:29,677 No, Sue. We don't need them. 221 00:13:29,767 --> 00:13:33,397 - Men are a biological design flaw. - Oh. 222 00:13:33,479 --> 00:13:37,439 And when new technologies provide us with synthetic semen 223 00:13:37,525 --> 00:13:40,105 and robots to open fussy pickle jars, 224 00:13:40,194 --> 00:13:42,324 what will men have to offer us? 225 00:13:42,738 --> 00:13:45,568 Nothing. They will be obsolete. 226 00:13:45,658 --> 00:13:46,958 Obsolete? 227 00:13:47,409 --> 00:13:50,369 Wait, no. No, Frank and I are just in a fight. 228 00:13:50,454 --> 00:13:51,504 You're in a war! 229 00:13:51,580 --> 00:13:54,710 Jesus Christ! I just want Frank to call. 230 00:13:54,792 --> 00:13:56,792 He's my husband. I love him. 231 00:13:58,838 --> 00:14:01,508 Sue, you sound insane right now! 232 00:14:03,717 --> 00:14:07,507 "And that is why it is important that you always wear a lead apron 233 00:14:07,596 --> 00:14:10,266 over your uniform when dealing with X-rays." 234 00:14:10,349 --> 00:14:12,099 Jesus Christ, is that true? 235 00:14:12,184 --> 00:14:16,274 I see now that, in future sessions, that should be in the first chapter. 236 00:14:20,234 --> 00:14:22,864 Okay, we got to do better on this final test tomorrow morning 237 00:14:22,945 --> 00:14:25,235 than those alligator fuckers from Florida. 238 00:14:25,322 --> 00:14:27,582 The one guy kept showing everybody his goiter. 239 00:14:28,158 --> 00:14:32,408 "Kill Authority"? Now we're talking. Frank, I'll catch up with you in a minute. 240 00:14:32,496 --> 00:14:35,286 - We got to study for that test! - Yeah, yeah, I know all that shit! 241 00:14:35,374 --> 00:14:37,884 Guns are bad. Ball aprons are good. 242 00:14:39,879 --> 00:14:41,179 Aw, Christ. 243 00:14:41,881 --> 00:14:45,011 If we come back without that certification, the airline's fucked. 244 00:14:45,092 --> 00:14:48,432 We will study, but not on an empty stomach. 245 00:14:48,512 --> 00:14:52,562 - I thought you were on a strict diet. - Clams are the salad of the sea, Frank. 246 00:14:53,100 --> 00:14:56,270 There they are! Good Vibe Harbor! 247 00:14:56,353 --> 00:14:59,113 You're going on next, right before Government Breeze. 248 00:14:59,189 --> 00:15:03,149 - Vic, uh... are you sure we look cool? - I get where you're at. 249 00:15:03,235 --> 00:15:06,025 You're worried you're about to get so much poon you'll get sick of it 250 00:15:06,113 --> 00:15:09,203 and fantasize about fucking goats or something. I've been there, buddy. 251 00:15:09,283 --> 00:15:10,583 No, it's... 252 00:15:11,452 --> 00:15:15,622 This song and, like, these outfits... Uh... 253 00:15:15,706 --> 00:15:19,126 all of a sudden, they don't feel right. 254 00:15:21,629 --> 00:15:22,929 You're fucking doing this. 255 00:15:23,005 --> 00:15:26,545 Vic, I'm just saying that this stuff doesn't feel like me. 256 00:15:26,634 --> 00:15:28,264 Shh. Shh. 257 00:15:28,344 --> 00:15:30,264 Shut your little fucking mouth, okay? 258 00:15:31,513 --> 00:15:34,143 You want me to cut you? Because I'll cut your fucking throat. 259 00:15:34,224 --> 00:15:39,864 This is show business, you little cunt. No one gives a shit how you feel. 260 00:15:39,939 --> 00:15:43,729 This is my last shot, and I won't let you fuck it up. 261 00:15:43,817 --> 00:15:45,567 You're gonna go out there, 262 00:15:45,653 --> 00:15:48,283 and you're gonna relax the fuck out of that crowd, 263 00:15:48,739 --> 00:15:54,449 proving once and for all that 30 is the last year of your 20s. 264 00:15:57,039 --> 00:16:00,079 We're gonna be tested on 179 pages of material tomorrow. 265 00:16:00,167 --> 00:16:02,457 So what if we take it one section at a time? 266 00:16:02,544 --> 00:16:06,594 What if you take it easy and let me order some brain food? 267 00:16:06,674 --> 00:16:10,144 What is this here? "Clam-ageddon"? 268 00:16:10,219 --> 00:16:13,009 If you eat a hundred clams in ten minutes, 269 00:16:13,097 --> 00:16:15,677 you go on our Bottom Feeder Wall of Fame. 270 00:16:15,766 --> 00:16:21,106 Oh, to be memorialized with all these amazing athletes. 271 00:16:21,188 --> 00:16:24,438 - Challenge accepted. - Bob, we have to get ready for tomorrow. 272 00:16:24,525 --> 00:16:28,195 Today's the three-month anniversary of my heart attack! 273 00:16:28,278 --> 00:16:30,658 I deserve to live a little! 274 00:16:30,739 --> 00:16:33,239 Now bring those hundred clams. 275 00:16:33,325 --> 00:16:35,075 And two orders of cheesecake. 276 00:16:35,494 --> 00:16:38,214 Aw, Christ. Rosie, can you help me out here? 277 00:16:38,288 --> 00:16:40,788 Do you have anything in your neighborhood that bothers you? 278 00:16:40,874 --> 00:16:42,084 You mean like the police? 279 00:16:42,167 --> 00:16:45,337 No, I'm saying, do you feel like your elected representative 280 00:16:45,421 --> 00:16:47,171 is meeting all your needs? 281 00:16:47,256 --> 00:16:48,836 Mister, are you coming on to me? 282 00:16:48,924 --> 00:16:50,224 Mother what? 283 00:16:50,300 --> 00:16:51,680 Hey, Rosie, about the test. 284 00:16:51,760 --> 00:16:54,600 Not now, Frank. I'm on a fact-finding mission for my district. 285 00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:58,930 Here's a fact: where are my clams? 286 00:16:59,018 --> 00:17:02,058 Please report to the security tent 287 00:17:02,146 --> 00:17:06,226 if you are either a doctor or a qualified Tilt-A-Whirl operator. 288 00:17:06,316 --> 00:17:08,436 Somebody make it stop! 289 00:17:08,527 --> 00:17:12,657 Okay, now I'm told this next band's gonna bring the sunshine! 290 00:17:12,740 --> 00:17:16,830 Taking the stage is Good Vibe Harbor! 291 00:17:22,041 --> 00:17:24,671 Every artist has a choice to make: 292 00:17:24,752 --> 00:17:26,502 whether to follow their heart... 293 00:17:27,755 --> 00:17:31,085 or listen to that desperate voice that says, 294 00:17:31,175 --> 00:17:34,925 "Sacrifice your integrity by playing songs that mean nothing to you." 295 00:17:36,346 --> 00:17:40,136 Well, to that voice, I say... 296 00:17:40,225 --> 00:17:41,525 You can do it, Kevin. 297 00:17:47,149 --> 00:17:48,449 Oh, man. 298 00:17:49,026 --> 00:17:52,736 I'm Maui Mike, and we are Good Vibe Harbor. 299 00:17:55,115 --> 00:17:57,525 ♪ I'm Mr. Chilled-Out Guy ♪ 300 00:17:59,119 --> 00:18:01,749 ♪ Easy breezy sailing guy ♪ 301 00:18:03,082 --> 00:18:05,792 ♪ Catamarans go cruising by ♪ 302 00:18:06,585 --> 00:18:10,665 ♪ That's why they call me Mr. Chilled-Out Guy ♪ 303 00:18:11,632 --> 00:18:14,012 This is neither easy nor breezy. 304 00:18:14,093 --> 00:18:15,803 Sure not the Sweatermen! 305 00:18:15,886 --> 00:18:17,506 Pick up your ax! 306 00:18:17,596 --> 00:18:19,426 Vic, what the fuck is this horse shit? 307 00:18:19,515 --> 00:18:23,055 - You like it, right? - No! They're depressing as all fuck. 308 00:18:23,143 --> 00:18:25,233 And why are they dressed like retired admirals? 309 00:18:25,312 --> 00:18:26,912 It's like I'm at a fucking Navy funeral. 310 00:18:26,936 --> 00:18:30,782 But I was just giving you what you said you wanted: ocean, boats, Malibus. 311 00:18:30,859 --> 00:18:32,159 It's not about boats. 312 00:18:32,194 --> 00:18:35,284 It's about music that teenagers think they want to hear. 313 00:18:35,364 --> 00:18:37,784 It's a state of mind we put them in 314 00:18:37,866 --> 00:18:41,946 so we can sell those kids zit cream and cigarettes. 315 00:18:42,037 --> 00:18:43,497 No one's gonna buy this shit. 316 00:18:43,580 --> 00:18:46,670 Okay. They can sing about anything you want. 317 00:18:46,750 --> 00:18:50,500 What about a dragon on a surfboard? Hey, is that cool? 318 00:18:50,587 --> 00:18:54,337 Jesus Christ, man, how out of touch can you be? 319 00:18:56,385 --> 00:18:58,295 How out of touch do you want me to be? 320 00:18:59,346 --> 00:19:02,386 It's not so much the tilting. 321 00:19:02,474 --> 00:19:05,894 It's the whirling! 322 00:19:07,604 --> 00:19:10,074 ♪ Shut up I don't want to hear it ♪ 323 00:19:10,149 --> 00:19:13,439 ♪ Fuck your authority I don't want to hear it ♪ 324 00:19:13,527 --> 00:19:15,607 You make a good point! 325 00:19:16,113 --> 00:19:19,583 ♪ Fuck your authority I don't want to hear it ♪ 326 00:19:23,829 --> 00:19:29,169 ...53, 54, 55, 56... 327 00:19:29,251 --> 00:19:33,381 Now I am become death, destroyer of clams. 328 00:19:33,463 --> 00:19:35,423 Bob, for fuck's sake, we have a test tomorrow. 329 00:19:35,507 --> 00:19:38,927 - Let's go. We got to cram! - That's exactly what I'm doing! 330 00:19:40,053 --> 00:19:41,353 Fuck this. 331 00:19:41,763 --> 00:19:44,063 Hey, I want to pay for the one beer I had. 332 00:19:44,141 --> 00:19:46,441 The rest goes on the tab of Moby Dickhead over there. 333 00:19:46,518 --> 00:19:49,228 ...71, 74... 334 00:19:49,313 --> 00:19:50,903 Aw, my Sue. 335 00:19:50,981 --> 00:19:53,321 ...80, 83... 336 00:20:00,782 --> 00:20:03,872 Leave a message at the tone. 337 00:20:05,329 --> 00:20:09,039 Sue, uh... it's me. 338 00:20:09,791 --> 00:20:12,171 Long time, no talk. 339 00:20:12,878 --> 00:20:19,338 Listen, I just... I just wanted to say that I need to hear your voice. 340 00:20:19,426 --> 00:20:23,426 Okay? You always make me feel better. 341 00:20:23,513 --> 00:20:25,433 Okay? I'm tore up about my dad. 342 00:20:25,515 --> 00:20:29,015 I hate that the kids are mad at me. And I miss you. 343 00:20:29,102 --> 00:20:31,312 Bad. And I... 344 00:20:31,396 --> 00:20:33,356 - Frank. - Sue. 345 00:20:33,440 --> 00:20:34,440 Hi. 346 00:20:34,524 --> 00:20:35,614 Um... 347 00:20:35,692 --> 00:20:37,862 - How's home? - Everybody's fine. 348 00:20:38,987 --> 00:20:42,067 The bed feels empty without you. I miss you too. 349 00:20:42,157 --> 00:20:45,617 I... I... I don't like being away from you. 350 00:20:45,702 --> 00:20:47,372 The day I met you... 351 00:20:47,454 --> 00:20:49,374 was the best day of my life. 352 00:20:49,456 --> 00:20:51,376 Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah! 353 00:20:51,458 --> 00:20:54,168 - Red! - Hey, Frank, this is Alexa! 354 00:20:54,253 --> 00:20:58,013 I met her at the rock show! She's staying in the room next to ours! 355 00:20:58,090 --> 00:21:01,760 I hope you're calling your wife! 356 00:21:01,843 --> 00:21:04,103 Is that a girl's voice? Are you having a party? 357 00:21:04,179 --> 00:21:08,889 No! I'm just trying to say that I am so lucky 358 00:21:08,976 --> 00:21:11,596 that I get to start every day with you next to me. 359 00:21:11,687 --> 00:21:14,607 - Give it to me, cowboy! - Don't you tell me what to do! 360 00:21:14,690 --> 00:21:16,110 Hey! Knock it off! 361 00:21:16,191 --> 00:21:17,991 Frank, what the hell is going on there? 362 00:21:18,068 --> 00:21:21,408 Nothing, nothing. I'm... I'm just trying to say that I never want us 363 00:21:21,488 --> 00:21:23,868 - to have another night... - Make way for the champ! 364 00:21:24,491 --> 00:21:28,701 Sweet merciful Christ! The dam is about to burst! 365 00:21:28,787 --> 00:21:29,997 Pogo, will you keep it down? 366 00:21:30,080 --> 00:21:34,420 Warn the folks in the next town, and tell Dolores I love her! 367 00:21:34,501 --> 00:21:36,041 Goddamn you, Bob! 368 00:21:38,505 --> 00:21:40,045 Sue, are you still there? 369 00:21:40,132 --> 00:21:41,512 I am. Are you? 370 00:21:41,591 --> 00:21:43,011 Honey, I'm so sorry. 371 00:21:43,719 --> 00:21:45,469 This has to happen the moment I call you. 372 00:21:45,554 --> 00:21:48,104 Yeah, well, you had plenty of time to call me sooner. 373 00:21:48,181 --> 00:21:50,741 The other morning, you specifically said, "I am perfectly capable 374 00:21:50,826 --> 00:21:52,946 of spending three days on my own without you calling." 375 00:21:52,970 --> 00:21:56,396 I am. But it doesn't feel good having a husband who doesn't call 376 00:21:56,481 --> 00:21:58,981 to check in on his wife who's nine months pregnant. 377 00:21:59,067 --> 00:22:00,897 Well, then why did you tell me not to call? 378 00:22:00,986 --> 00:22:04,316 I don't want you to call me because I asked you to call me. 379 00:22:04,406 --> 00:22:06,366 I want you to call me because you want to. 380 00:22:06,450 --> 00:22:10,330 - I was thinking about it. - Oh, you thought about it! 381 00:22:10,412 --> 00:22:13,332 And then you thought not to. 382 00:22:13,415 --> 00:22:15,915 I guess you were too busy having fun with your work buddies. 383 00:22:16,001 --> 00:22:18,211 I'm not having fun. I'm in hell, Sue! 384 00:22:18,295 --> 00:22:20,585 Why is there smoke? 385 00:22:20,672 --> 00:22:23,722 I mean, do you think I would miss you if I was out here having fun? 386 00:22:23,800 --> 00:22:25,760 You are such a fucking asshole. 387 00:22:25,844 --> 00:22:26,934 I am not. 388 00:22:27,012 --> 00:22:29,562 - You're just like your father! - You take that back! 389 00:22:29,639 --> 00:22:33,099 You are exactly like him! Things got bad here, and you ran off! 390 00:22:33,185 --> 00:22:35,475 And you never admit when you're wrong! 391 00:22:35,562 --> 00:22:38,072 All right, I admit I was wrong to ever fucking call tonight! 392 00:22:38,148 --> 00:22:39,858 I didn't want you to call! 393 00:22:39,941 --> 00:22:43,531 You were just fucking yelling at me because I didn't call sooner, you lunatic! 394 00:22:43,612 --> 00:22:45,952 I need a fucking decoder ring to talk to you! 395 00:22:46,031 --> 00:22:48,781 I'll tell you one thing about work. There's no mixed messages. 396 00:22:48,867 --> 00:22:52,657 They tell me what to do, I do it, they give me money. You do the opposite! 397 00:22:52,746 --> 00:22:54,656 Well, here's the opposite of something. 398 00:22:54,748 --> 00:22:58,288 I love you! I can't wait for you to come home! 399 00:23:07,386 --> 00:23:10,806 Attaboy, Frank. Just keep digging that hole deeper. 400 00:23:13,100 --> 00:23:16,650 Frank, could I trouble you to ask for more towels? 401 00:23:16,728 --> 00:23:18,688 Maybe not white ones this time. 402 00:23:21,608 --> 00:23:26,238 Miss Ellie, you're the prettiest gal in this whole Apache massacre. 403 00:23:26,321 --> 00:23:29,031 You're just saying that because I lived. 404 00:23:32,327 --> 00:23:34,497 - It's only a movie, Mom. - Kevin! 405 00:23:35,997 --> 00:23:36,997 It's late. 406 00:23:37,082 --> 00:23:38,632 I can't sleep either. 407 00:23:40,043 --> 00:23:42,253 Were you at a costume party? 408 00:23:42,337 --> 00:23:44,877 Kind of. Why were you crying? 409 00:23:44,965 --> 00:23:47,505 Your father and I saw this movie when we were dating. 410 00:23:47,592 --> 00:23:50,352 I'll love you forever, Dusty Wagonwheel. 411 00:23:50,429 --> 00:23:51,849 Long ago. 412 00:23:51,930 --> 00:23:53,520 Ah, feeling old, huh? 413 00:23:53,598 --> 00:23:55,428 Yeah, it's pretty scary. I get it. 414 00:23:55,976 --> 00:23:58,556 Um... I don't think Alice wants to see me anymore. 415 00:23:58,645 --> 00:24:02,315 Oh, honey, I hope that's not the case. What did she say? 416 00:24:02,399 --> 00:24:06,319 Well... she didn't say anything. She just walked away. 417 00:24:07,028 --> 00:24:08,698 She hung up on me in person. 418 00:24:08,780 --> 00:24:11,990 Well, you can't leave it like that without talking to her. 419 00:24:12,075 --> 00:24:15,865 When you care about somebody, you need to make an effort to work things out. 420 00:24:15,954 --> 00:24:19,424 Yeah, you're right. That's good advice. 421 00:24:19,499 --> 00:24:20,829 Yeah, I guess it is. 422 00:24:21,877 --> 00:24:24,877 So where's Dad in all this? 423 00:24:24,963 --> 00:24:27,723 That is a very good question. 424 00:24:27,799 --> 00:24:31,049 No, I mean, really, where is he? I've been at Vic's house for the last four days. 425 00:24:36,308 --> 00:24:37,888 Frank. Frank. 426 00:24:37,976 --> 00:24:39,016 Alaquippa Ed? 427 00:24:39,102 --> 00:24:42,312 It's me, Ed, from Alaquippa. I'm the ground chief... 428 00:24:42,397 --> 00:24:47,487 I know who you are. I literally just said your fucking name. You're up late. 429 00:24:47,569 --> 00:24:49,739 Actually early. It's 7:30. 430 00:24:49,821 --> 00:24:51,411 Ah, shit. 431 00:24:51,490 --> 00:24:54,580 Time for my grapefruit juice. It helps the blood clot better. 432 00:24:54,659 --> 00:24:56,699 Ed, no offense, but could you fuck off? 433 00:24:56,786 --> 00:24:59,496 Okay, I mean, Christ, my whole family hates me. 434 00:24:59,581 --> 00:25:01,001 I have a fourth kid on the way. 435 00:25:01,082 --> 00:25:03,882 You want to take a bet how long it takes that little guy to turn on me? 436 00:25:03,906 --> 00:25:08,218 Gee, Frank, with all that going on, I'm surprised you even came to Cleveland. 437 00:25:08,798 --> 00:25:12,638 It's refreshing to see a man show so much enthusiasm for his employer. 438 00:25:12,719 --> 00:25:15,219 - Damn right. - Especially one on her dying days. 439 00:25:15,305 --> 00:25:17,515 Dying days? The hell are you talking about? 440 00:25:17,599 --> 00:25:22,149 You know. Mrs. Dunbarton is going to sell Mohican to Alaquippa. 441 00:25:22,729 --> 00:25:25,939 - She what? - Oh, my goodness, you didn't know? 442 00:25:26,525 --> 00:25:31,525 Well, sometimes my mouth moves faster than my... 443 00:25:32,864 --> 00:25:34,164 brain. 444 00:25:35,575 --> 00:25:36,875 That son of a bitch. 445 00:25:38,286 --> 00:25:39,406 You fucking son of a bitch! 446 00:25:39,496 --> 00:25:42,036 They said they'd fix the toilet this morning! 447 00:25:42,123 --> 00:25:44,133 I don't know what you want me to do! 448 00:25:44,209 --> 00:25:47,589 She's selling Mohican to Alaquippa? Did you know about this? 449 00:25:47,671 --> 00:25:49,381 Oh, you found out. 450 00:25:49,464 --> 00:25:51,304 Oh, I'm so relieved. 451 00:25:51,383 --> 00:25:56,353 Burdened with this terrible secret, I've been guilt-eating this whole trip. 452 00:25:56,429 --> 00:26:00,019 Now I don't have to. I deserve an honesty squirt. 453 00:26:00,934 --> 00:26:04,654 Tell me. Tell me right now. Am I gonna have a job after the sale? 454 00:26:04,729 --> 00:26:09,279 There may be a few redundancies, so we really don't know yet. 455 00:26:09,359 --> 00:26:11,399 What about Rosie, Red, Carl? 456 00:26:11,486 --> 00:26:15,196 The weird grounds crew guy and the other weird grounds crew guy? 457 00:26:15,282 --> 00:26:16,582 Are they redundant? 458 00:26:16,616 --> 00:26:18,656 Jesus Christ, I dedicate myself to this airline, 459 00:26:18,743 --> 00:26:20,503 you can't even guarantee my job? 460 00:26:20,996 --> 00:26:24,166 You know what? Take your fucking X-ray test yourself, Bob! 461 00:26:24,249 --> 00:26:27,129 Just give me a second to explain. 462 00:26:27,210 --> 00:26:28,840 In ten or 15 minutes. 463 00:26:29,671 --> 00:26:31,211 Oh! 464 00:26:31,298 --> 00:26:33,878 I think I just passed a pearl! 465 00:26:34,342 --> 00:26:38,562 Goddamn flapping-skin fucking asshole. Nobody cares about me. 466 00:26:39,139 --> 00:26:41,519 You give and you give and you give. This is what I get back? 467 00:26:41,600 --> 00:26:44,520 You know something? Fuck you all. I'm doing something for Frank Murphy. 468 00:26:45,520 --> 00:26:48,520 What the fuck are you looking at? How do I get to this Bowling Ball Museum? 469 00:26:48,607 --> 00:26:51,107 The number 14 bus stop's right outside. 470 00:26:51,192 --> 00:26:52,492 Thanks. 471 00:26:53,778 --> 00:26:57,278 I'm sorry, ma'am, none of the four men in the honeymoon suite 472 00:26:57,365 --> 00:27:00,035 are answering the phone. May I take a message? 473 00:27:00,118 --> 00:27:02,788 Can you tell him his wife called? 474 00:27:02,871 --> 00:27:07,291 And, um, tell him I don't like how we ended things last night. 475 00:27:07,375 --> 00:27:08,375 I'm angry, but... 476 00:27:08,418 --> 00:27:12,918 "Still love him. Want to talk this out." 477 00:27:14,049 --> 00:27:15,089 Mm-hmm. 478 00:27:15,175 --> 00:27:16,475 Uh-huh. 479 00:27:16,718 --> 00:27:22,178 "Oh, God. You think your water just broke." 480 00:27:23,266 --> 00:27:26,556 Uh-huh. How do you spell "mucus plug"? 481 00:27:27,103 --> 00:27:31,193 M-U-C-U... 482 00:27:31,274 --> 00:27:33,194 Hmm. No "K," huh? 483 00:27:33,276 --> 00:27:39,566 Hmm. "Please stop interrupting me and just give him the goddamn message. 484 00:27:40,158 --> 00:27:44,118 I am going to hang up now so I can go give birth." 485 00:27:45,580 --> 00:27:50,000 I can't spell that, so I'll just write, "Bloodcurdling scream. 486 00:27:50,085 --> 00:27:52,205 Water sounds on... "