1
00:00:07,716 --> 00:00:11,136
[man over loudspeaker]
Now arriving on platform B is Train 209,
2
00:00:11,220 --> 00:00:13,263
"The Screamin' Steamer,"
3
00:00:13,347 --> 00:00:17,184
making stops at West Rustvale,
Asphalt Heights, Burning River,
4
00:00:17,267 --> 00:00:22,064
Smog Island, Gangrenesboro,
Half-life Junction, Sterilton,
5
00:00:22,147 --> 00:00:25,150
Leper's Gulch, Hellmuth, and Pittsburgh.
6
00:00:27,736 --> 00:00:30,489
You're gonna love Pittsburgh.
7
00:00:30,572 --> 00:00:33,200
I was conceived
on one of the bridges there.
8
00:00:33,283 --> 00:00:35,244
That's how I got my name.
9
00:00:36,119 --> 00:00:38,288
I got mine from a name book.
10
00:00:39,248 --> 00:00:41,708
[train brakes squealing]
11
00:00:48,799 --> 00:00:50,551
Come on, you freckled fucko.
12
00:00:52,803 --> 00:00:55,305
Aw, you've never run away before.
13
00:00:55,389 --> 00:00:56,390
That's sweet.
14
00:00:56,932 --> 00:00:58,934
Don't worry, we got each other.
15
00:00:59,017 --> 00:01:03,480
Please don't sucker punch me again...
but how are we gonna eat?
16
00:01:03,564 --> 00:01:05,857
We'll be scavengers.
17
00:01:05,941 --> 00:01:09,111
Prowling the back alleyways
of restaurants,
18
00:01:09,194 --> 00:01:12,864
slurping spaghetti
that accidentally ends in a kiss
19
00:01:12,948 --> 00:01:15,867
while some fat Dago plays a squeezebox.
20
00:01:15,951 --> 00:01:18,912
Before you know it,
I'll be old enough to wait tables
21
00:01:18,996 --> 00:01:20,831
and shit out my first puppy.
22
00:01:21,832 --> 00:01:26,044
All because I'll have my Billy by my side.
Right?
23
00:01:26,128 --> 00:01:27,421
Uh... [laughs nervously]
24
00:01:27,504 --> 00:01:30,549
Sure. But where will we sleep?
25
00:01:30,632 --> 00:01:32,551
Are you pussying out on me?
26
00:01:32,634 --> 00:01:33,635
No, but...
27
00:01:33,719 --> 00:01:36,096
God, you sound
like my mother on her death bed.
28
00:01:36,179 --> 00:01:38,390
"Who'll take care of Bridget?"
29
00:01:38,473 --> 00:01:41,018
Bridget takes care of Bridget!
We're gonna be fine!
30
00:01:41,101 --> 00:01:42,394
Okay. Okay.
31
00:01:42,477 --> 00:01:47,274
Just keep your cute ass in that seat
and let the freedom wash over you, okay?
32
00:01:47,357 --> 00:01:48,567
[man] All aboard!
33
00:01:48,650 --> 00:01:50,068
- Here we go.
- [train horn sounds]
34
00:01:50,152 --> 00:01:51,903
[man] Step back from the closing doors!
35
00:01:51,987 --> 00:01:55,240
- Goodbye, life we used to know.
- [train whistle]
36
00:01:56,116 --> 00:01:57,367
I can't do this!
37
00:01:57,951 --> 00:02:01,330
What? No! No! No!
38
00:02:01,413 --> 00:02:02,331
[Bridget] Love you!
39
00:02:02,414 --> 00:02:04,458
You fucking psycho!
40
00:02:04,541 --> 00:02:08,045
[Redbone's
"Come and Get Your Love" playing]
41
00:02:15,260 --> 00:02:17,804
♪ Come and get your love ♪
42
00:02:19,806 --> 00:02:22,601
♪ Come and get your love ♪
43
00:02:24,394 --> 00:02:26,605
♪ Come and get your love ♪
44
00:02:28,440 --> 00:02:31,068
♪ Come and get your love ♪
45
00:02:32,486 --> 00:02:34,380
♪ Come and get your love
Come and get your love ♪
46
00:02:34,404 --> 00:02:36,073
♪ Come and get your love now ♪
47
00:02:37,240 --> 00:02:38,801
♪ Come and get your love
Come and get your love ♪
48
00:02:38,825 --> 00:02:40,494
♪ Come and get your love now ♪
49
00:02:40,577 --> 00:02:41,620
[grunts] Ah!
50
00:02:41,703 --> 00:02:43,389
♪ Come and get your love
Come and get your love ♪
51
00:02:43,413 --> 00:02:45,207
♪ Come and get your love now ♪
52
00:02:46,416 --> 00:02:48,019
♪ Come and get your love
Come and get your love ♪
53
00:02:48,043 --> 00:02:50,003
♪ Come and get your love now ♪
54
00:02:50,087 --> 00:02:51,505
[boom]
55
00:02:54,007 --> 00:02:56,259
[Frank]
"And Kevin, you were doing something.
56
00:02:56,551 --> 00:02:58,512
Sincerely yours, Bill.
57
00:02:59,846 --> 00:03:01,848
P.S. Watch out for Phillip."
58
00:03:02,808 --> 00:03:05,560
- Oh, my God. He's gone.
- Let's not think the worst yet, Sue.
59
00:03:05,644 --> 00:03:08,772
All of his comedy albums are gone.
He's not coming back, Frank!
60
00:03:08,855 --> 00:03:10,524
The Shelley Berman albums were mine!
61
00:03:10,607 --> 00:03:12,025
Oh, that thieving little bastard!
62
00:03:12,109 --> 00:03:13,694
Oh, guess I'm not so bad now, huh?
63
00:03:13,777 --> 00:03:15,195
Fuck you, you're grounded forever!
64
00:03:15,278 --> 00:03:17,322
Frank, stop it.
You're not grounding anybody!
65
00:03:18,407 --> 00:03:20,468
Bill could be hurt out there.
We all have to find him.
66
00:03:20,492 --> 00:03:21,827
Oh, great.
67
00:03:21,910 --> 00:03:23,954
Now Bill gets all the attention.
68
00:03:24,037 --> 00:03:25,080
[Frank sighs]
69
00:03:25,163 --> 00:03:28,250
Princess, I am sorry
the filthy TV clown cheated you.
70
00:03:29,084 --> 00:03:30,084
Okay?
71
00:03:30,168 --> 00:03:31,503
When we get through this night,
72
00:03:31,586 --> 00:03:34,297
I will be happy to take you
to Bleep Bloop Robot Club
73
00:03:34,381 --> 00:03:35,966
or whatever the hell it is you call it,
74
00:03:36,508 --> 00:03:39,094
but for now we got to find
your stupid brother
75
00:03:39,177 --> 00:03:42,723
before some creep out there puts his head
in a fucking bowling ball bag!
76
00:03:42,806 --> 00:03:44,850
- [gasps]
- Just exaggerating for effect, honey.
77
00:03:44,933 --> 00:03:46,101
Bill's gonna be fine.
78
00:03:47,144 --> 00:03:49,020
- Bill Murphy! Bill!
- Bill.
79
00:03:49,104 --> 00:03:50,355
- Hey, Bill!
- Bill.
80
00:03:50,439 --> 00:03:51,857
- Come on, knock it off!
- Bill!
81
00:03:51,940 --> 00:03:54,693
- Bill Murphy!
- Heya, Frank. Looking for Bill?
82
00:03:54,776 --> 00:03:56,528
Yes, Goom. Yes. We are looking for Bill.
83
00:03:56,611 --> 00:04:00,073
That's why I'm outside shouting
his full fucking name!
84
00:04:00,157 --> 00:04:01,277
- [Frank] Bill!
- [Sue] Bill?
85
00:04:01,783 --> 00:04:03,326
- Bill Murphy!
- Bill!
86
00:04:03,410 --> 00:04:05,328
[Frank]
Have any of you people seen my son?
87
00:04:05,412 --> 00:04:08,290
Oh, so suddenly we're not jackals anymore?
88
00:04:08,373 --> 00:04:11,376
I never would have said that
if I knew I was gonna need you!
89
00:04:12,252 --> 00:04:14,087
Do you really mean that?
90
00:04:14,171 --> 00:04:15,213
Of course I do.
91
00:04:16,757 --> 00:04:19,551
Listen, I know we've had
our differences lately,
92
00:04:20,385 --> 00:04:22,846
but we've been neighbors and friends
for a long time
93
00:04:22,929 --> 00:04:24,639
and we've been through a lot together.
94
00:04:25,891 --> 00:04:30,353
Goomer, when you needed to borrow
that rope, shovel, hacksaw, duct tape,
95
00:04:30,437 --> 00:04:33,440
and the quicklime to take care
of those weeds in your backyard,
96
00:04:33,523 --> 00:04:34,775
who was there for you?
97
00:04:35,233 --> 00:04:36,943
You were, Frank.
98
00:04:37,027 --> 00:04:40,363
I've been here for all of you,
and now Sue and I need you.
99
00:04:40,447 --> 00:04:43,283
If you could help us look for Bill,
we'd be really grateful.
100
00:04:46,578 --> 00:04:48,663
Anything for the Murphy's. Right, guys?
101
00:04:48,747 --> 00:04:50,040
- Oh, yeah.
- Of course.
102
00:04:50,123 --> 00:04:51,625
- Sure.
- You got it.
103
00:04:51,708 --> 00:04:53,794
Thanks. And thank you, Vic.
104
00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:56,755
You're... a good man.
105
00:04:56,838 --> 00:04:59,066
Hey, Frank, I'll go up and look for Bill
in my helicopter!
106
00:04:59,090 --> 00:05:01,259
Jesus Christ, you have
a fucking helicopter now?
107
00:05:01,343 --> 00:05:03,183
[chuckles]
I knew you'd be happy for me, Frank.
108
00:05:03,261 --> 00:05:04,638
That's a wonderful offer!
109
00:05:05,055 --> 00:05:07,265
Yes. It is. Thank you, Vic.
110
00:05:07,766 --> 00:05:09,184
Please go look for him...
111
00:05:10,852 --> 00:05:12,229
in your helicopter.
112
00:05:12,312 --> 00:05:13,438
Okay, but I'll need help.
113
00:05:13,522 --> 00:05:14,856
Does anyone want to go up with me
114
00:05:14,940 --> 00:05:16,834
- and look for...
- Take me over the rainbow, Vic!
115
00:05:16,858 --> 00:05:18,151
You got shotgun, Babe.
116
00:05:18,235 --> 00:05:21,446
Otto, my man, your name is Mr. Helicopter!
117
00:05:21,530 --> 00:05:23,073
Why don't you come on up with us?
118
00:05:23,156 --> 00:05:24,199
No! No!
119
00:05:24,282 --> 00:05:25,325
No!
120
00:05:28,745 --> 00:05:29,996
Yeah, come on up with us.
121
00:05:30,080 --> 00:05:34,125
Me? Oh, I couldn't.
I'm deathly afraid of flying.
122
00:05:34,209 --> 00:05:36,920
Yes, you stay right here with me,
123
00:05:37,003 --> 00:05:38,797
my German invader.
124
00:05:38,880 --> 00:05:41,424
But death is an old friend by now.
I'll do it.
125
00:05:42,801 --> 00:05:45,554
[Vic speaking in Spanish]
126
00:05:46,596 --> 00:05:48,181
All right, Bill could be anywhere.
127
00:05:48,265 --> 00:05:49,766
Did anyone here see him at all?
128
00:05:51,601 --> 00:05:52,644
Oh, Christ.
129
00:05:52,727 --> 00:05:54,312
I saw Billy go bye-bye.
130
00:05:54,396 --> 00:05:56,523
Oh, thank God! Where did he go, son?
131
00:05:56,606 --> 00:06:00,402
Um, you know what?
Um, I was outside and um, I found a worm
132
00:06:00,485 --> 00:06:03,572
and I ripped him in half
and I made two worms,
133
00:06:03,655 --> 00:06:06,032
and you know what?
Um, um. you know what?
134
00:06:06,116 --> 00:06:08,201
No, I don't know what. Please tell me.
135
00:06:08,285 --> 00:06:10,996
And then I found an M&M and I ate it.
136
00:06:11,079 --> 00:06:15,792
But you know what? It wasn't an M&M,
because it had eyes and it looked at me.
137
00:06:15,876 --> 00:06:18,169
- And you know what?
- Jesus Christ, spit it out!
138
00:06:18,253 --> 00:06:19,129
Mommy!
139
00:06:19,212 --> 00:06:20,088
- Frank, no!
- Stop it, Frank!
140
00:06:20,171 --> 00:06:22,090
Sorry, but my son is missing
and I'm scared!
141
00:06:22,173 --> 00:06:24,217
With all due respect,
can somebody please tell me
142
00:06:24,301 --> 00:06:26,011
what in the fuck this kid is saying?
143
00:06:26,094 --> 00:06:28,054
[Phillip] I understand him.
144
00:06:30,640 --> 00:06:34,895
Phillip, are you feeling better
after what the TV hobo did to you?
145
00:06:34,978 --> 00:06:36,354
Yes, Mother.
146
00:06:36,771 --> 00:06:40,191
I squished my hate
into a beautiful diamond.
147
00:06:40,817 --> 00:06:44,112
Anthony, tell me what you saw.
148
00:06:44,195 --> 00:06:45,238
[whispering]
149
00:06:45,322 --> 00:06:46,406
Uh-huh.
150
00:06:46,489 --> 00:06:47,365
Oh.
151
00:06:47,449 --> 00:06:49,576
Okay. Yeah, yeah.
152
00:06:49,659 --> 00:06:51,077
Ooh.
153
00:06:51,161 --> 00:06:55,540
He saw Bill ride off on his bicycle with...
With her.
154
00:06:56,124 --> 00:06:57,542
- Her?
- Who's that?
155
00:06:57,626 --> 00:06:59,336
Bridget Fitzsimmons!
156
00:06:59,419 --> 00:07:01,588
- They've been dating.
- They've been dating?
157
00:07:01,671 --> 00:07:03,423
Yep, and they fight like you and Daddy.
158
00:07:03,506 --> 00:07:07,177
Except Bridget acts more like Dad,
and Bill is like Mom if she cried more.
159
00:07:07,260 --> 00:07:09,846
Ah, that fucking family
bites us in the ass again.
160
00:07:10,096 --> 00:07:11,890
Everybody, get in the goddamn car!
161
00:07:16,019 --> 00:07:17,062
[tires screech]
162
00:07:21,691 --> 00:07:23,151
Let me out!
163
00:07:23,234 --> 00:07:25,570
I don't want to go to Pittsburgh!
164
00:07:25,654 --> 00:07:26,654
[brakes squeal]
165
00:07:28,448 --> 00:07:29,448
[grunts]
166
00:07:37,374 --> 00:07:39,459
Remember when
we started this out with pumpkins?
167
00:07:41,211 --> 00:07:42,128
[grunts]
168
00:07:42,212 --> 00:07:44,464
Yes! I'm free!
169
00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:49,386
What the fuck are you looking at?
170
00:07:49,469 --> 00:07:50,971
We didn't put that car there.
171
00:07:51,054 --> 00:07:52,055
You put it there?
172
00:07:52,138 --> 00:07:54,724
Get fucked, you little redheaded narc!
173
00:07:56,476 --> 00:07:58,061
- [Bill panting]
- [glass smashing]
174
00:07:58,144 --> 00:08:00,480
I was trying to thank you!
175
00:08:01,022 --> 00:08:03,358
Fuck you and you're welcome!
176
00:08:03,441 --> 00:08:06,444
[Jeffords] We'll have updates
on the train derailment at 11.
177
00:08:06,528 --> 00:08:09,447
Stay tuned for the alderman candidates'
debate on Channel Nine.
178
00:08:09,531 --> 00:08:11,241
Now 60 percent in color.
179
00:08:11,324 --> 00:08:13,702
You're gonna be great, Chauncey.
180
00:08:13,785 --> 00:08:15,078
We're proud of you, Daddy.
181
00:08:15,161 --> 00:08:16,663
I'm proud too, pal.
182
00:08:16,746 --> 00:08:18,415
Get the fuck out of here, Bob.
183
00:08:18,498 --> 00:08:21,334
Whatever you say, my Nubian king.
184
00:08:21,418 --> 00:08:23,461
[news theme song playing]
185
00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:26,715
[announcer]
This is Politics Now, with your moderator,
186
00:08:26,798 --> 00:08:30,260
Channel Nine's director of Public Affairs,
Raymond Trentelle.
187
00:08:31,761 --> 00:08:32,637
Good evening.
188
00:08:32,721 --> 00:08:35,807
Tonight we meet the two candidates
for the upcoming special election
189
00:08:35,890 --> 00:08:38,309
to replace Alderman Edward Morewill.
190
00:08:38,393 --> 00:08:40,562
The alderman's son, Teddy Morewill,
191
00:08:40,645 --> 00:08:43,273
a third-year freshman
at Rustvale University,
192
00:08:43,356 --> 00:08:44,899
and the preferred candidate
193
00:08:44,983 --> 00:08:47,902
of the Rustland County
Regular Democratic Association.
194
00:08:49,571 --> 00:08:53,950
And Chauncey "Rosie" Roosevelt,
a local airport worker.
195
00:08:54,034 --> 00:08:55,243
Good luck to you both.
196
00:08:55,994 --> 00:08:57,704
Mr. Roosevelt, your opponent
197
00:08:57,787 --> 00:09:00,915
comes from a long line
of politicians and public servants,
198
00:09:00,999 --> 00:09:04,794
his father having held this very seat
for 12 consecutive terms.
199
00:09:04,878 --> 00:09:09,132
My first question to you is,
do you know who your father is?
200
00:09:09,215 --> 00:09:10,300
What?
201
00:09:10,383 --> 00:09:12,552
[TV audience laughs]
202
00:09:12,635 --> 00:09:15,680
Cool it, baby, I was just trying
to get the new boss to like you.
203
00:09:15,764 --> 00:09:18,975
That doesn't mean dress me up
like Jill St. John!
204
00:09:19,809 --> 00:09:23,271
If that little bastard
tried to sit on my shoulder,
205
00:09:23,354 --> 00:09:25,565
I'd blast him with a fire hose.
206
00:09:25,815 --> 00:09:28,359
Make Bull Connor
look like fucking Santa Claus.
207
00:09:28,443 --> 00:09:32,030
- I'm learning so much from you, Papa.
- [bang]
208
00:09:32,113 --> 00:09:33,239
What the shit?
209
00:09:33,323 --> 00:09:35,533
Hey! Where the hell's my son?
210
00:09:36,493 --> 00:09:38,286
Get off my lawn, Murphy!
211
00:09:38,369 --> 00:09:40,872
This isn't your lawn!
It's dirt with green paint!
212
00:09:40,955 --> 00:09:43,124
And you rent the place, you fucking gypsy!
213
00:09:43,208 --> 00:09:44,084
Fuck you!
214
00:09:44,167 --> 00:09:45,043
Where's Bill?
215
00:09:45,126 --> 00:09:47,545
- We think he's run off with your daughter.
- That's a lie.
216
00:09:47,629 --> 00:09:48,755
She's in her room.
217
00:09:48,838 --> 00:09:52,759
Bridget South Tenth Street Bridge
Fitzsimmons! Get out here!
218
00:09:52,842 --> 00:09:53,885
Yes, Father?
219
00:09:53,968 --> 00:09:55,053
Where's Bill, Bridget?
220
00:09:55,136 --> 00:09:57,680
How should I know? I haven't seen him.
221
00:09:57,764 --> 00:09:59,974
- Then how come his bike is here?
- That's my bike.
222
00:10:00,058 --> 00:10:02,227
It's Bill's. You painted it pink
223
00:10:02,310 --> 00:10:03,937
and here's where the pussy flag was.
224
00:10:04,020 --> 00:10:05,230
[laughing]
225
00:10:05,313 --> 00:10:06,689
Pussy flag.
226
00:10:06,773 --> 00:10:08,316
Listen to me, Bridget,
227
00:10:08,399 --> 00:10:10,443
Bill's my only friend in the world.
228
00:10:10,527 --> 00:10:14,864
He saved my life when some guy
with my same name ran me over.
229
00:10:14,948 --> 00:10:16,074
Now where is he?
230
00:10:16,449 --> 00:10:17,992
Fine. [scoffs]
231
00:10:18,076 --> 00:10:20,245
We were gonna run away
to Pittsburgh together,
232
00:10:20,328 --> 00:10:22,747
but at the last second
I got off the train,
233
00:10:22,831 --> 00:10:24,916
left him there all alone
and scared with no money
234
00:10:24,999 --> 00:10:27,460
and then I stole his bike. Okay?
235
00:10:27,961 --> 00:10:30,338
Everybody satisfied? God!
236
00:10:30,922 --> 00:10:32,966
- He's going to Pittsburgh?
- No!
237
00:10:33,049 --> 00:10:36,010
They just said on TV that the train
jumped the fucking track
238
00:10:36,094 --> 00:10:38,221
a mile from the station. Happy?
239
00:10:38,304 --> 00:10:40,616
- Oh, my God, it jumped the tracks?
- He'll be okay, honey.
240
00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:41,516
We'll find him.
241
00:10:41,599 --> 00:10:43,101
You're a terrible father...
242
00:10:43,601 --> 00:10:45,937
and your house smells
like a bear pissed in it!
243
00:10:46,020 --> 00:10:48,523
At least I got all my kids, asshole!
244
00:10:50,024 --> 00:10:52,026
[tires screech]
245
00:10:53,945 --> 00:10:57,907
Just tell me the truth, Sweet Pea.
Daddy won't be mad.
246
00:10:59,159 --> 00:11:00,368
Did you kill the boy?
247
00:11:00,451 --> 00:11:02,370
Go shit in your fist, old man.
248
00:11:04,581 --> 00:11:06,374
She scares me, Dad.
249
00:11:06,457 --> 00:11:08,126
She scares me right proper.
250
00:11:08,585 --> 00:11:11,045
[Babe]
This is the thrill of a lifetime, Vic!
251
00:11:11,129 --> 00:11:13,006
I hope we never find Bill!
252
00:11:13,089 --> 00:11:14,549
How you holding up, Holty?
253
00:11:14,632 --> 00:11:20,054
Oh, I never thought I'd say this,
but I think I like trains better.
254
00:11:20,138 --> 00:11:23,141
Well, we'll find Frank's boy
and be back on the ground in no time.
255
00:11:23,224 --> 00:11:24,642
Engaging night vision.
256
00:11:24,726 --> 00:11:25,727
Wow, you got that?
257
00:11:25,810 --> 00:11:27,145
The best money can buy.
258
00:11:27,228 --> 00:11:28,646
[snorts]
259
00:11:28,730 --> 00:11:31,816
Whoo! My spidey senses are tingling now!
260
00:11:32,108 --> 00:11:33,276
You got controls.
261
00:11:33,359 --> 00:11:35,069
What the hell are you doing?
262
00:11:35,153 --> 00:11:35,987
[Vic] Whoo-ee!
263
00:11:36,070 --> 00:11:37,947
[Babe screaming]
264
00:11:39,699 --> 00:11:42,785
Goddamn Bridget.
She's gonna get me killed.
265
00:11:43,494 --> 00:11:44,954
Where the fuck am I?
266
00:11:45,038 --> 00:11:47,999
[creepy music]
267
00:11:49,834 --> 00:11:51,085
Ah!
268
00:11:51,169 --> 00:11:52,712
[growling]
269
00:11:53,504 --> 00:11:54,714
Okay.
270
00:11:55,131 --> 00:11:57,342
Good boy, Foamy.
271
00:11:57,425 --> 00:11:59,052
- [barks]
- [screams]
272
00:11:59,636 --> 00:12:02,430
No, no, no! Bad doggie!
273
00:12:02,513 --> 00:12:03,973
[grunting]
274
00:12:04,390 --> 00:12:05,558
- Ah!
- [yelps]
275
00:12:06,184 --> 00:12:07,810
[groans]
276
00:12:08,436 --> 00:12:10,355
[panting]
277
00:12:14,817 --> 00:12:17,445
You can attack
my economic status all you want,
278
00:12:17,528 --> 00:12:20,281
but the fact of the matter is
our neighborhood needs help,
279
00:12:20,365 --> 00:12:22,784
and I'm the only one offering answers.
280
00:12:23,326 --> 00:12:25,328
- Such as?
- Well, I propose we take
281
00:12:25,411 --> 00:12:28,706
some of the cigarette tax money
that's being spent to promote smoking
282
00:12:28,790 --> 00:12:31,960
and use it to filter the steel slag
out of our water supply.
283
00:12:32,210 --> 00:12:34,754
- [all] You tell him, Rosie!
- [overlapping chatter]
284
00:12:34,837 --> 00:12:36,256
Uh, excuse me?
285
00:12:36,339 --> 00:12:38,174
What you want, kid? A Scotch?
286
00:12:38,258 --> 00:12:39,926
My name is Bill Murphy.
287
00:12:40,009 --> 00:12:43,012
I'm trying to get home, but I'm lost
and I don't have any money.
288
00:12:43,096 --> 00:12:45,515
Oh, shit! Missing white kid?
289
00:12:45,598 --> 00:12:47,433
We got to get the fuck out of here!
290
00:12:47,517 --> 00:12:49,894
[overlapping chatter]
291
00:12:49,978 --> 00:12:51,938
- He's gonna ruin it for all of us!
- But...
292
00:12:52,021 --> 00:12:54,190
Oh, damn, you done went
and touched the bar!
293
00:12:54,274 --> 00:12:55,900
Now your fingerprints are here!
294
00:12:56,776 --> 00:12:57,776
Get out.
295
00:12:57,819 --> 00:12:58,695
Get out!
296
00:12:58,778 --> 00:12:59,778
Ah!
297
00:12:59,821 --> 00:13:02,991
We can't leave a trace.
You know the drill. Get the bleach.
298
00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:05,702
When the fuck did I become the bleach guy?
299
00:13:06,452 --> 00:13:10,415
Why would I put my own car on the tracks?
I had a brand new bag on the window!
300
00:13:11,165 --> 00:13:12,166
Holy shit.
301
00:13:12,250 --> 00:13:13,835
That's Mr. Jerkin's car.
302
00:13:14,377 --> 00:13:15,378
I know who did this.
303
00:13:16,421 --> 00:13:18,464
- Hey!
- Oh, hey, Kevin.
304
00:13:18,548 --> 00:13:20,091
Did you come down to watch the show?
305
00:13:20,174 --> 00:13:21,342
Have you hippies seen my son?
306
00:13:21,426 --> 00:13:23,845
- Hippies. [laughs] What a square.
- Right.
307
00:13:23,928 --> 00:13:25,263
Dad, let me handle it.
308
00:13:25,346 --> 00:13:27,473
I know these guys. They're my friends.
309
00:13:27,932 --> 00:13:28,808
Friends?
310
00:13:28,891 --> 00:13:32,186
Look, guys,
I know we had a falling out, but...
311
00:13:32,270 --> 00:13:33,479
We had a falling out?
312
00:13:33,563 --> 00:13:35,523
We thought you got arrested or something.
313
00:13:35,606 --> 00:13:37,608
Well, I did.
314
00:13:37,692 --> 00:13:40,528
Just 'cause... Only 'cause they changed
the doors at the liquor store.
315
00:13:40,611 --> 00:13:42,780
Oh, shit, they're catching on.
316
00:13:42,864 --> 00:13:45,074
Look, my brother was on that train.
317
00:13:45,616 --> 00:13:48,119
He's a pain in the balls,
but he's still my brother.
318
00:13:48,202 --> 00:13:50,442
So, if you saw him,
would you just tell me where he went?
319
00:13:52,373 --> 00:13:54,792
Does he have red hair like a scarecrow?
320
00:13:54,876 --> 00:13:57,628
Skin the color of flour?
Slumped shoulders?
321
00:13:57,712 --> 00:13:58,713
Always about to cry?
322
00:13:58,796 --> 00:14:00,556
A look on his face makes you
wanna punch him?
323
00:14:00,590 --> 00:14:02,133
That's my boy!
324
00:14:03,426 --> 00:14:06,095
[distant police siren}
325
00:14:08,056 --> 00:14:10,141
- [car horn honks]
- Out of the street, boy whore!
326
00:14:10,224 --> 00:14:11,642
[screaming]
327
00:14:12,977 --> 00:14:14,896
God damn it! [sobs]
328
00:14:18,316 --> 00:14:19,525
Oh, yes.
329
00:14:26,199 --> 00:14:29,202
Shut the door! Where's your manners?
330
00:14:33,456 --> 00:14:34,332
No!
331
00:14:34,415 --> 00:14:38,419
God damn it, no! No! No!
332
00:14:39,962 --> 00:14:43,341
[guy] Your generation
is gonna ruin this country!
333
00:14:43,925 --> 00:14:45,843
If I'm guilty of anything,
334
00:14:45,927 --> 00:14:49,639
it's of loving
our canine friends too much.
335
00:14:49,722 --> 00:14:51,057
Just one in particular.
336
00:14:51,140 --> 00:14:53,851
And I will not apologize for that.
337
00:14:56,646 --> 00:14:58,940
Powerful. Mr. Roosevelt, your response?
338
00:14:59,023 --> 00:15:01,734
The man had relations
with a damned fire truck Dalmatian.
339
00:15:01,818 --> 00:15:03,069
So you're a dog hater.
340
00:15:03,152 --> 00:15:04,320
I love dogs!
341
00:15:04,404 --> 00:15:07,323
I love pot roast too, but I'm not gonna
stick my Johnson in it.
342
00:15:07,407 --> 00:15:09,075
[all] Oh!
343
00:15:09,158 --> 00:15:13,287
Listen, my opponent has big money
and a political machine behind him.
344
00:15:13,371 --> 00:15:16,207
I know this neighborhood
and I care about it.
345
00:15:16,290 --> 00:15:19,168
[Rosie] I was born here.
I'm a child of this city.
346
00:15:19,252 --> 00:15:22,547
Speaking of children,
let's talk about your illegitimate son.
347
00:15:22,630 --> 00:15:26,008
I was 17.
It was the Puerto Rican Day parade.
348
00:15:26,092 --> 00:15:27,343
Everybody was doing it.
349
00:15:27,427 --> 00:15:28,970
[Rosie] It's just what you did!
350
00:15:30,138 --> 00:15:34,142
Niner-niner, Sierra Hotel, foxtrot,
A-beam, Plast-A-Ware Tower,
351
00:15:34,225 --> 00:15:37,061
delta northbound, one-point-three,
breaker, breaker."
352
00:15:37,145 --> 00:15:39,105
[chuckles]
I don't even know what that shit means!
353
00:15:39,188 --> 00:15:41,190
This thing isn't even plugged in, man!
354
00:15:42,024 --> 00:15:44,193
[Babe] You're gonna get us all killed!
355
00:15:44,777 --> 00:15:46,362
I don't see Bill anywhere.
356
00:15:46,446 --> 00:15:48,382
Keep looking.
Kevin's friends said he went this way.
357
00:15:48,406 --> 00:15:50,283
And how the hell
were those punks your friends?
358
00:15:50,741 --> 00:15:53,369
Whatever happened to zit-stick
and shit-face from your band?
359
00:15:53,453 --> 00:15:54,370
They kicked me out.
360
00:15:54,454 --> 00:15:56,497
They kicked you out?
Why didn't you tell us?
361
00:15:56,581 --> 00:16:01,919
Jesus Christ, I screamed it
into your face about ten fucking times!
362
00:16:02,003 --> 00:16:04,881
But no one ever pays attention
in this family!
363
00:16:06,966 --> 00:16:08,318
Do you kids really think we don't...
364
00:16:08,342 --> 00:16:09,342
Watch the road!
365
00:16:09,385 --> 00:16:11,220
- [horn honks]
- [screaming]
366
00:16:11,304 --> 00:16:12,638
[tires screech]
367
00:16:12,722 --> 00:16:14,348
[crashing]
368
00:16:15,099 --> 00:16:16,726
[Frank] Ah, shit!
369
00:16:22,940 --> 00:16:25,485
Mr. Christ, God...
370
00:16:25,902 --> 00:16:27,111
Uh...
371
00:16:27,195 --> 00:16:29,071
it's been a while.
372
00:16:29,155 --> 00:16:30,865
My name is Bill Murphy.
373
00:16:31,491 --> 00:16:33,743
I was an altar boy last Christmas Eve.
374
00:16:34,327 --> 00:16:38,873
My friend who beats me up tried to steal
chalices from the church vault,
375
00:16:39,499 --> 00:16:41,459
but I hit him with a crucifix.
376
00:16:42,210 --> 00:16:46,172
Thanks for dying on a wooden cross
and not something soft like a cloud.
377
00:16:47,298 --> 00:16:50,426
Look, do you think you could help me out?
378
00:16:50,968 --> 00:16:53,471
A crazy girl really fucked me over
379
00:16:53,554 --> 00:16:57,266
and now I'm lost
and I don't know how to get home.
380
00:16:57,892 --> 00:16:59,101
Please help me.
381
00:17:03,981 --> 00:17:05,983
[angelic sound]
382
00:17:07,777 --> 00:17:09,612
Look, that's Bill.
383
00:17:10,154 --> 00:17:11,572
[Otto] Vic, you found him!
384
00:17:12,198 --> 00:17:15,284
Oh, thank God,
I can get out of this thing now!
385
00:17:15,368 --> 00:17:17,370
Oh, what does
that flashing fuel light mean?
386
00:17:17,453 --> 00:17:18,996
Does that mean we've got a lot of it?
387
00:17:19,080 --> 00:17:21,720
It means I got about five minutes
to get this sucker on the ground.
388
00:17:23,751 --> 00:17:26,837
Unless the light came on five minutes ago
and I was too high to see it.
389
00:17:26,921 --> 00:17:28,339
- [chuckles]
- [alarm beeping]
390
00:17:28,422 --> 00:17:30,466
You're meshuggener!
391
00:17:30,550 --> 00:17:31,759
Ah!
392
00:17:32,593 --> 00:17:34,262
- [screams]
- [clangs]
393
00:17:39,433 --> 00:17:40,768
Ah!
394
00:17:40,851 --> 00:17:42,853
Hey, Bill, your dad sent us!
395
00:17:43,229 --> 00:17:44,230
Glad we could help!
396
00:17:44,313 --> 00:17:46,274
[Babe] You fucking dope fiend!
397
00:17:46,357 --> 00:17:48,359
Does it ever fail?
398
00:17:48,901 --> 00:17:52,280
Mr. Morewill is a scion
of a legendary political family.
399
00:17:52,363 --> 00:17:56,534
Whereas your family values consist
of appearing in a pornographic film
400
00:17:56,617 --> 00:17:58,578
produced by two baggage handlers.
401
00:17:58,661 --> 00:18:00,246
I think he's talking about us!
402
00:18:00,329 --> 00:18:02,832
We're gonna get nominated for a "Fuckie."
403
00:18:02,915 --> 00:18:04,458
I didn't know it was a skin flick!
404
00:18:04,542 --> 00:18:07,211
I just have one scene
as evil Dean Cockstopper
405
00:18:07,295 --> 00:18:08,963
who outlaws the Bonecoming Dance!
406
00:18:09,046 --> 00:18:10,423
They're killing him, Bob.
407
00:18:10,506 --> 00:18:11,924
Shame on them.
408
00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:18,139
I interrupt this debate
with live breaking actual news!
409
00:18:18,222 --> 00:18:19,348
Oh, thank God.
410
00:18:19,432 --> 00:18:21,767
A helicopter has crash-landed
in a storm culvert
411
00:18:21,851 --> 00:18:23,352
in the Meat Repacking District.
412
00:18:23,436 --> 00:18:26,564
According to police, a young boy is
trapped in the water of the culvert
413
00:18:26,647 --> 00:18:29,984
at the corner of 139th Street
and José Jiménez Boulevard.
414
00:18:30,067 --> 00:18:31,427
What does that have to do with us?
415
00:18:31,485 --> 00:18:35,031
You idiot, that's right in the middle
of the ward you want to represent.
416
00:18:35,114 --> 00:18:37,450
I knew that! I was just seeing if you did.
417
00:18:37,533 --> 00:18:39,452
- [all groan]
- [curses in Italian]
418
00:18:39,535 --> 00:18:41,746
Those are our constituents down there,
419
00:18:41,829 --> 00:18:44,165
and they don't need someone
who's gonna sit on their butt.
420
00:18:44,248 --> 00:18:47,501
They need a leader who cares about
their problems and will fight for them!
421
00:18:48,669 --> 00:18:49,962
I'm gonna go help down there!
422
00:18:50,046 --> 00:18:52,048
I daresay this election
just got interesting.
423
00:18:52,131 --> 00:18:54,258
This whole thing is a waste of time.
424
00:18:54,342 --> 00:18:57,678
I took my wedding and funeral suit
out of storage for nothing.
425
00:18:57,762 --> 00:18:58,971
[steam hissing]
426
00:19:00,264 --> 00:19:02,391
I know this looks bad, but we're fine.
427
00:19:02,475 --> 00:19:03,934
Everyone's alive and safe.
428
00:19:04,018 --> 00:19:05,353
My arm hurts really bad.
429
00:19:05,436 --> 00:19:07,647
Why must you challenge me on everything?
430
00:19:09,732 --> 00:19:12,068
We'll call Goomer, he'll pick us up and...
431
00:19:12,151 --> 00:19:14,862
- [Smokey] Hey!
- Don't kill me, I don't have any money!
432
00:19:14,945 --> 00:19:16,947
Hey, I know that giant dick.
433
00:19:17,573 --> 00:19:20,159
Frank Murphy! I thought you was dead.
434
00:19:20,701 --> 00:19:23,037
Smokey! Oh, my God, am I glad to see you!
435
00:19:23,120 --> 00:19:25,164
Hey, the whole family's here.
436
00:19:25,247 --> 00:19:26,624
How's that baby coming?
437
00:19:26,707 --> 00:19:28,834
I ain't got no other reason
for asking y'all that.
438
00:19:28,918 --> 00:19:30,795
Y'all need a lift? Hop in!
439
00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:33,047
[Smokey] What a lucky break I saw you.
440
00:19:33,130 --> 00:19:36,008
I was going down to sell
beer and jerky to the crowd.
441
00:19:36,092 --> 00:19:39,512
They trying to save some stupid
redheaded kid done fell into the culvert
442
00:19:39,595 --> 00:19:40,805
when a helicopter crashed.
443
00:19:40,888 --> 00:19:41,972
That's got to be Bill!
444
00:19:42,056 --> 00:19:43,808
Oh, my God! What if he's hurt?
445
00:19:43,891 --> 00:19:46,185
[chuckles]
I knew that fucking Vic couldn't fly.
446
00:19:46,727 --> 00:19:49,855
This is Jim Jeffords live with
"Dead Kid Watch, '74!"
447
00:19:49,939 --> 00:19:51,190
[tires screech]
448
00:19:51,732 --> 00:19:54,860
My name is Chauncey Roosevelt
and I'm here to help.
449
00:19:54,944 --> 00:19:55,820
[keys clatter]
450
00:19:55,903 --> 00:19:58,739
It's the cream-colored Eldorado.
Park it close.
451
00:19:58,823 --> 00:20:00,783
This shit never ends.
452
00:20:00,866 --> 00:20:02,201
[shouts angrily]
453
00:20:02,284 --> 00:20:04,745
[loudspeaker] Hang in there, young man.
You're gonna be fine.
454
00:20:04,829 --> 00:20:05,955
So get me out!
455
00:20:06,038 --> 00:20:09,458
We can't yet because
if that exposed wire hits the water,
456
00:20:09,542 --> 00:20:11,043
we could all get electrocuted.
457
00:20:11,127 --> 00:20:14,171
Doesn't water stop electricity
like it does with fire?
458
00:20:14,255 --> 00:20:15,131
Uh...
459
00:20:15,214 --> 00:20:17,091
Yeah, sure. Why not?
460
00:20:17,675 --> 00:20:20,010
I don't want anybody getting hurt
trying to save this one.
461
00:20:21,762 --> 00:20:22,638
Thank you, Smokey.
462
00:20:22,722 --> 00:20:24,014
It's nothing.
463
00:20:24,098 --> 00:20:26,517
Maybe you'll help me find my son some day.
464
00:20:27,768 --> 00:20:31,313
Oh, who am I kidding?
I know where that pink-eyed mummy live.
465
00:20:31,397 --> 00:20:32,397
I love him...
466
00:20:32,940 --> 00:20:36,235
but you ain't supposed
to make a baby you can't look at.
467
00:20:36,318 --> 00:20:37,403
It ain't natural!
468
00:20:38,237 --> 00:20:39,238
[sighs]
469
00:20:39,321 --> 00:20:40,614
Go get your boy.
470
00:20:41,157 --> 00:20:43,242
And don't ever fuck in a laundromat!
471
00:20:43,325 --> 00:20:44,910
Going to get you an albino!
472
00:20:45,411 --> 00:20:47,371
Damn bleach take the color out!
473
00:20:47,913 --> 00:20:49,290
I think my son is down there.
474
00:20:49,373 --> 00:20:50,624
Hi, Mrs. Vanderheim.
475
00:20:50,708 --> 00:20:52,793
Oh, hello, Maureen.
476
00:20:52,877 --> 00:20:54,795
Is Quincy
still coming over to play tomorrow?
477
00:20:54,879 --> 00:20:56,964
Oh, he sure is, sweetheart.
478
00:20:57,214 --> 00:21:00,593
Right after I pick him up from Model UN.
479
00:21:02,261 --> 00:21:04,180
Suck jobs!
480
00:21:04,722 --> 00:21:07,349
Eye contact suck jobs!
481
00:21:07,433 --> 00:21:10,113
- [Sue] Oh, my God, there he is!
- [Frank] That's my son down there.
482
00:21:10,853 --> 00:21:13,564
Bill, we're here! Daddy's gonna save you!
483
00:21:14,190 --> 00:21:16,567
- Go to hell!
- What the fuck did you just say to me?
484
00:21:16,650 --> 00:21:18,527
I'm fucking mad at you!
485
00:21:18,611 --> 00:21:20,237
You don't care about me, Dad!
486
00:21:20,738 --> 00:21:22,281
You never cared about me!
487
00:21:22,364 --> 00:21:23,949
You didn't take me to hockey tryouts
488
00:21:24,033 --> 00:21:27,369
because your stupid fat boss
was eating chocolate in your truck.
489
00:21:27,453 --> 00:21:29,789
A Puerto Rican forced me to do that!
490
00:21:29,872 --> 00:21:32,792
All you ever do is yell at me
and call me a pussy.
491
00:21:33,083 --> 00:21:37,421
A guy exploded in front of me
and you told me to shove it down.
492
00:21:37,755 --> 00:21:41,467
And when I needed you today,
you told me, "Not now."
493
00:21:41,550 --> 00:21:43,594
Well how about now, Dad?
494
00:21:44,845 --> 00:21:47,223
Jesus Christ, he's right.
495
00:21:48,015 --> 00:21:50,518
Son. I'm... I'm sorry.
496
00:21:51,560 --> 00:21:53,646
I have been a terrible father lately.
497
00:21:53,729 --> 00:21:56,607
Your father is very sorry, Bill.
498
00:21:56,690 --> 00:21:58,692
I'm mad at you too, Mom!
499
00:21:58,776 --> 00:21:59,693
What?
500
00:21:59,777 --> 00:22:04,198
You spent all your time with that stupid
scissor-spoon that I cut my fingers on!
501
00:22:04,281 --> 00:22:08,911
It was called the Forkoontula,
and it's still in the development stages,
502
00:22:08,994 --> 00:22:10,746
but you're right.
503
00:22:10,830 --> 00:22:14,208
It's just this new baby coming
really threw us for a loop
504
00:22:14,291 --> 00:22:17,127
and then we got all wrapped up
with the new neighbors.
505
00:22:17,211 --> 00:22:21,257
Well, I guess I ain't
such a bad mother after all.
506
00:22:22,132 --> 00:22:23,467
[slurping]
507
00:22:23,551 --> 00:22:25,010
But that's all over now.
508
00:22:25,886 --> 00:22:26,886
And we're sorry.
509
00:22:27,638 --> 00:22:30,599
I told myself I'd be a better father
than my own dad,
510
00:22:31,141 --> 00:22:32,434
and that starts now.
511
00:22:32,977 --> 00:22:35,938
[Frank] You kids mean...
You mean a lot to me.
512
00:22:36,438 --> 00:22:37,523
[Frank] I love you people.
513
00:22:39,024 --> 00:22:42,778
Just please come on home.
We'll talk about it.
514
00:22:42,862 --> 00:22:44,905
Can I have my old room back to myself?
515
00:22:44,989 --> 00:22:46,198
Of course!
516
00:22:46,282 --> 00:22:48,117
Jesus, Sue, the house is a fucking mess!
517
00:22:48,200 --> 00:22:49,200
- Frank!
- Sure.
518
00:22:49,743 --> 00:22:50,870
Your own room again.
519
00:22:50,953 --> 00:22:52,454
I just want to go home.
520
00:22:52,538 --> 00:22:53,956
Let's save that boy.
521
00:22:58,043 --> 00:22:59,086
Nobody can reach him!
522
00:22:59,169 --> 00:23:02,506
You've inspired me, Rosie! I can do it!
523
00:23:02,590 --> 00:23:05,092
I was a discus thrower in college.
524
00:23:05,175 --> 00:23:06,385
Hold my cigarette!
525
00:23:09,263 --> 00:23:11,307
Oh, God, my heart!
526
00:23:11,849 --> 00:23:14,059
- [groans]
- [firemen grunt]
527
00:23:14,143 --> 00:23:16,145
Hang on, Bill! We're trying!
528
00:23:16,729 --> 00:23:17,730
Our aim is off!
529
00:23:18,188 --> 00:23:20,774
And I think Pogo just killed some firemen!
530
00:23:20,858 --> 00:23:23,861
Fuck this.
I'm not afraid of water anymore.
531
00:23:23,944 --> 00:23:25,446
I'm coming for you, Bill!
532
00:23:27,948 --> 00:23:30,284
Son of a bitch! Oh, no! Help!
533
00:23:30,367 --> 00:23:31,785
This pool is moving!
534
00:23:31,869 --> 00:23:33,078
We'll pick you up later!
535
00:23:33,162 --> 00:23:34,580
Christ, these kids are stupid.
536
00:23:34,663 --> 00:23:37,791
We've only got one life preserver left.
We got to make this count!
537
00:23:37,875 --> 00:23:39,627
Let me try! I can do it!
538
00:23:39,710 --> 00:23:40,920
Princess, not now.
539
00:23:41,003 --> 00:23:43,923
I know how to do this!
It's just like ring toss.
540
00:23:44,006 --> 00:23:45,674
Little girl, I don't come to your house
541
00:23:45,758 --> 00:23:48,135
and tell you how to play
with your dolls, do I?
542
00:23:48,218 --> 00:23:49,637
Give me that.
543
00:23:49,720 --> 00:23:51,555
Bill, don't move!
544
00:23:51,639 --> 00:23:55,434
"Flick your wrist. Aim high.
Don't trust the Jews."
545
00:23:55,517 --> 00:23:56,894
I got this.
546
00:23:59,980 --> 00:24:01,231
[cheering]
547
00:24:02,358 --> 00:24:03,567
Lucky little bitch.
548
00:24:06,737 --> 00:24:09,073
Anything is possible.
549
00:24:09,156 --> 00:24:13,619
Delbert! The Tilt-A-Whirl shall be mine!
550
00:24:16,121 --> 00:24:19,208
They found that white boy. Alive.
551
00:24:19,291 --> 00:24:20,960
It's safe to come out now.
552
00:24:26,840 --> 00:24:28,425
[Rosie grunts]
553
00:24:28,634 --> 00:24:31,303
I'm gonna hate myself for doing this.
554
00:24:31,387 --> 00:24:33,681
[coughing]
555
00:24:34,640 --> 00:24:36,725
[Bob] God is a Negro?
556
00:24:37,601 --> 00:24:39,979
I am in big trouble.
557
00:24:46,485 --> 00:24:48,028
I love you, honey.
558
00:24:48,112 --> 00:24:50,155
I love you too, Babe.
559
00:24:50,239 --> 00:24:53,283
And I'll never think of Vic
in the bedroom again.
560
00:24:53,367 --> 00:24:54,367
Aw.
561
00:24:54,410 --> 00:24:55,410
What?
562
00:24:56,245 --> 00:25:02,084
Ginny, I've come to appreciate
how precious every second of life is.
563
00:25:02,167 --> 00:25:04,211
Oh, Otto.
564
00:25:04,294 --> 00:25:07,464
So... get the fuck out of my house.
565
00:25:11,218 --> 00:25:13,220
[film projector whirring]
566
00:25:13,303 --> 00:25:15,431
[Frank chuckles]
That was one hell of a parade.
567
00:25:15,514 --> 00:25:16,348
[Sue] Mm-hmm.
568
00:25:16,432 --> 00:25:19,268
You got a third-degree sunburn
and almost killed a kid.
569
00:25:19,351 --> 00:25:22,062
If you read my lips, you can see
I'm calling that kid a cunt.
570
00:25:22,146 --> 00:25:23,480
[laughs]
571
00:25:23,564 --> 00:25:24,857
Am I allowed to say that?
572
00:25:24,940 --> 00:25:26,734
One day when you have
a family of your own.
573
00:25:28,402 --> 00:25:30,487
Thank goodness we're all together.
574
00:25:30,779 --> 00:25:32,156
We got Bill back.
575
00:25:32,239 --> 00:25:34,199
And the Coast Guard
brought us Kevin back.
576
00:25:34,283 --> 00:25:38,203
Yeah, I was pretty scared, but it wasn't
too bad after I passed out.
577
00:25:38,662 --> 00:25:40,831
Well, I know things
got a little crazy this summer.
578
00:25:40,914 --> 00:25:44,043
But now your mom and I...
we got our priorities straight.
579
00:25:44,126 --> 00:25:47,254
Our most important job
is being your parents.
580
00:25:47,337 --> 00:25:50,215
And I swear to you,
we'll never forget that again.
581
00:25:50,299 --> 00:25:51,300
Let's watch more movies!
582
00:25:51,383 --> 00:25:53,383
[Maureen] I want to see one
where Major is a puppy.
583
00:25:53,427 --> 00:25:55,471
[Sue] That little dog
just pooped everywhere.
584
00:25:55,554 --> 00:25:57,723
[Frank] Jesus, how long's
this mail been here?
585
00:25:57,806 --> 00:26:00,184
[chuckles] That crazy Goomer.
586
00:26:00,267 --> 00:26:04,563
- [Bill] Hey, how about Christmas of '69?
- [Kevin chuckles] Sixty-nine.
587
00:26:04,646 --> 00:26:07,357
- [Bill] Why is that funny?
- [Kevin] You'll never find out.
588
00:26:07,941 --> 00:26:08,941
Oh, no.
589
00:26:09,276 --> 00:26:10,276
Frank, what is it?
590
00:26:10,861 --> 00:26:12,529
Coming on the 30th?
591
00:26:14,907 --> 00:26:16,909
This wh... [stutters] This can't be.
592
00:26:16,992 --> 00:26:19,661
- Frank, you're scaring me.
- [Maureen] Hey, cool!
593
00:26:19,745 --> 00:26:21,830
There's a taxicab
coming down the street.
594
00:26:24,166 --> 00:26:26,210
Jesus fucking Christ!
595
00:26:26,710 --> 00:26:28,045
What's going on, Mom?
596
00:26:28,128 --> 00:26:32,758
[Sue] Uh... evidently, your grandfather
is gonna be staying with us.
597
00:26:32,841 --> 00:26:34,301
The hell he is!
598
00:26:34,384 --> 00:26:35,844
[Kevin] I guess the comet landed.
599
00:26:35,928 --> 00:26:37,888
[Frank] No!
600
00:26:37,971 --> 00:26:39,681
[The Jackson 5's "Daddy's Home" playing]
601
00:26:39,765 --> 00:26:41,767
♪ Daddy's home ♪
602
00:26:42,643 --> 00:26:45,562
♪ Your daddy's home ♪
603
00:26:45,646 --> 00:26:48,816
♪ To stay ♪
604
00:26:48,899 --> 00:26:50,150
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
605
00:26:54,071 --> 00:26:59,118
♪ How I've waited for this moment ♪
606
00:27:00,828 --> 00:27:03,831
- ♪ To be by your side ♪
- [chorus] ♪ To be by your side ♪
607
00:27:04,957 --> 00:27:07,251
♪ Your best friend wrote and told me ♪
608
00:27:07,835 --> 00:27:12,589
♪ You had teardrops in your eyes ♪
609
00:27:12,673 --> 00:27:13,757
♪ Yeah ♪
610
00:27:13,841 --> 00:27:16,760
♪ Daddy's home ♪
611
00:27:16,844 --> 00:27:19,304
- [mechanical whirring]
- [gunshot]