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[Les Crane's "Desiderata" playing]
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00:00:06,465 --> 00:00:07,633
♪ Desiderata ♪
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♪ Desiderata ♪
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[man reciting over music]
Go placidly amid the noise and haste
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00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:21,647
And remember what peace
There may be in silence
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As far as possible, without surrender
Be on good terms with all persons
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Avoid loud and aggressive persons
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They are vexations to the spirit
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[female chorus]
♪ You are a child of the universe ♪
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00:00:40,624 --> 00:00:45,003
♪ No less than the trees and the stars
You have a right to be here ♪
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- [doorbell rings]
- I bet that's the crib being delivered.
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And we've got
a beautiful room to put it in.
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Mr. Murphy?
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No, but I'm fucking his wife!
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[laughs] I'm just kidding, young fella.
Let me have that.
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I'll gladly sign for it.
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[gasps] You can put the crib
in the new room at the back of the house.
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Congratulations on your blessed event.
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And on behalf of the city, you are hereby
ordered to tear that illegal room down.
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Tear it down?
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I'm from
the Department of Buildings and Safety.
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We received a tip
from a concerned neighbor
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that you built that add-on
without a permit.
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Oh, you got to be shitting me.
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It's a safety hazard.
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Nobody's gonna get hurt in there.
It's just for a baby!
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A hundred and fifty dollar fine,
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plus 50 more each day
the structure remains standing.
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- [gasps] Oh, Jesus, no!
- You made a pregnant lady cry, asshole!
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Is that what you do all day?
Crush people's dreams?
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Only until five. Then I go swing dancing.
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- You never had a mother?
- [Sue sobs]
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You were just born
with that clipboard in your hand?
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Well, fuck your mother for having you!
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What neighbor would rat me out?
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No fucking way.
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[Frank] It was Chet.
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My God, Sue, you were right about him.
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[Sue] He's just standing
in the middle of the street.
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[Frank] What a sadistic piece of shit.
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[sobs]
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I have a COD delivery
for some happy parents.
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Get that fucking thing out of here!
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I didn't knock her up.
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[Redbone's
"Come and Get Your Love" playing]
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♪ Come and get your love ♪
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♪ Come and get your love ♪
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♪ Come and get your love ♪
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♪ Come and get your love ♪
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♪ Come and get your love
Come and get your love ♪
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♪ Come and get your love now ♪
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♪ Come and get your love
Come and get your love ♪
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♪ Come and get your love now ♪
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[grunts] Ah!
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♪ Come and get your love
Come and get your love ♪
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♪ Come and get your love now ♪
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♪ Come and get your love
Come and get your love ♪
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♪ Come and get your love now ♪
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[boom]
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[railroad cop]
Now which two bindle buddies
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would like to play
for Hobo Jojo's Coal Car Of Toys?
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- Pick me, Hobo Jojo!
- [all] Pick me!
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All right, we know
the secret to winning the ring toss.
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Now we just have to figure out how to get
picked by Hobo Jojo to play the game.
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I've watched more than a thousand episodes
over the past two years.
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Fifty-eight percent of the time
he's chosen blonde-haired kids.
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That's not good for us.
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You know... You know what?
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- You know wha... You know what?
- Patience, Anthony.
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One hundred percent of the time
it's not a colored child.
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[Anthony] Um, um, um... But...
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- [Anthony laughs]
- The lucky contestants are...
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That lady swallowed a baby
just like Maureen's mommy did.
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These two happy tykes here!
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Their mother is with child.
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You radiate elegance from your pores.
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I want to sculpt you in marble.
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Okay, Hobo Jojo, move it along now.
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Back off, Ray.
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A pregnant lady is the only thing
that has never failed.
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If we can get your mom
to bring us to the show,
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we're guaranteed to get picked!
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Are you sure that'll work?
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[Hobo Jojo] My God, I bet your areolas
are massive.
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That gypsy clown should be shot.
He'd know what to do!
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[Bob] Frank, I hate
to bother you on your day off.
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Oh, who am I kidding?
I enjoy it immensely.
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We've got a major problem.
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I need you over at the airport now!
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Bob, I've got a family emergency here.
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Well, I have a Mohican family emergency!
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The unveiling ceremony
for the 747's coming up
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and your new runway is totally fucked.
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It has a 13 degree tilt!
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- [tires screeching]
- [passengers screaming]
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Bob, why did you hire your cousin
to pave it?
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The guy works at a bank.
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I shot my mouth off at a family barbecue
during a pulled pork blackout.
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You got to help me, Frank!
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Jesus Christ, calm down, Bob.
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I'll be in there first thing
in the morning. I'll take care of it,
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and the runway will be fine
in time for the party.
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- [screaming]
- Thank you, Frank.
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You have a special place
in the two working chambers of my heart.
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How much shit can one man eat?
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- [bowl smashing]
- Ow!
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Quit fucking around and hang it up.
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As you wish, father.
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[Frank] Don't you "father" me! I'll put
you through that fucking wall!
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[dripping]
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[Bob] I heard cereal through the phone.
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[rock music playing]
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Hey, guys.
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What are you doing here, Kevin?
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My mom shouldn't have let you back here.
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Oh, she's passed out.
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Don't worry, I rolled her on her side
like you showed me.
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Listen, uh... I know you kicked me
out of the band
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because I was playing depressing music
and I was a dick about it.
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But I had a revelation about my life
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when I was drowning for the second time.
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The old Kevin is dead.
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But with every death, there is new life.
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In my house we call them maggots.
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[plays guitar riff]
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I was lost but now I'm found.
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And I miss you guys.
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I'm sorry for being a dildo,
and I really hope you can take me back.
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- Okay.
- Great!
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But no more Elfin King shit.
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You're on rhythm guitar.
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No singing, no 17-minute solos.
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No capes. Not even at rehearsal.
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Whatever you say. I won't let you down.
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All right, then let's get you started
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on the set list for our gig next Sunday.
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We open with our Lifted Riffs cover,
"Stroke My Weanis to Venus,"
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then it's all originals written by Ben:
"Born Underweight,"
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"Ten Cents in Michigan,"
140
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"Sleeping at the Bottom
of the Staircase to Heaven."
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Well, Bridget... goodbye forever.
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Uh... Hi, Jimmy...
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[Jimmy] ♪ Fuck you, Bill Murphy ♪
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♪ I'll fuck your eye hole, Bill Murphy ♪
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If you kill me
I'll haunt the shit out of you!
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Ow!
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I warned you to stay away from my sister.
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Why do you hate me?
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I'm protecting you.
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Bridget is fucking possessed.
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Her first words were...
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[demonic babbling]
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Wait. You're not trying to kill me?
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Why would I do that?
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You're my best friend.
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You beat me up all the time!
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- No, I don't!
- Ah!
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Say I'm your best friend
or I'll drown you in a puddle!
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[Bridget] Hey!
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Get out of here before I put
nail polish in your insulin again.
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Oh, man! Oh, man!
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I still can't see out my left eye!
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[grunts] Oh, man! Oh, man!
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Hey, you.
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Oh, hi.
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What's this, huh?
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Uh... Just some pictures,
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and the stuff you made me steal
from the cemetery.
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I want you to know
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I'm cool now
with you breaking up with me.
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I didn't break up with you.
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Uh... Yes, you did.
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Uh... No, I didn't.
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"Thank you for 11 great days"?
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[scoffs]
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You fucking redheaded piece of shit!
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Nobody breaks up with me.
I break up with you!
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You did break up with me!
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The fuck I did!
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I'm gonna get you for this.
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No more Mr. Nice Bridget.
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You were being nice?
183
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"Think of me
whenever you think of this room."
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Fucking war criminal.
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God damn it!
186
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Oh, he built this well.
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[grunts]
188
00:09:00,457 --> 00:09:02,542
Such fine craftsmanship.
189
00:09:02,834 --> 00:09:05,628
Frank, calm down.
You're gonna give yourself a stroke.
190
00:09:05,712 --> 00:09:07,255
Yeah, I'll give him a stroke.
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Right to the back of his fucking head.
192
00:09:08,923 --> 00:09:10,884
How about a little support, Susan? Huh?
193
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I'm devastated, too, Frank!
194
00:09:12,719 --> 00:09:14,596
But this is a cul-de-sac, not Korea.
195
00:09:14,679 --> 00:09:16,347
No, no, no, no, no, no.
196
00:09:16,431 --> 00:09:18,558
This is now officially a war zone.
197
00:09:19,142 --> 00:09:20,060
Frank.
198
00:09:20,143 --> 00:09:22,812
I know this guy. He's just beginning.
199
00:09:22,896 --> 00:09:25,857
He's gonna do to this family
what he did to Nguyen-Nguyen's village.
200
00:09:25,940 --> 00:09:28,485
The only difference is he's not gonna
fuck me when he's done.
201
00:09:29,027 --> 00:09:31,738
Frank, focus. I hate him too.
202
00:09:31,821 --> 00:09:33,531
I was the first one to hate Chet.
203
00:09:33,615 --> 00:09:34,908
It's not a competition, Sue.
204
00:09:34,991 --> 00:09:39,454
I'm just saying right now we need
to concentrate on knocking this room down.
205
00:09:40,163 --> 00:09:41,682
You've got plenty of friends around here
206
00:09:41,706 --> 00:09:43,506
who I'm sure would be
more than happy to help.
207
00:09:43,583 --> 00:09:45,794
[Goomer] Boom boom goes the Goom Goom!
208
00:09:45,877 --> 00:09:48,379
- [water splashing]
- [Otto] Oh, this is so much fun.
209
00:09:48,463 --> 00:09:50,465
See that? Now this is a party!
210
00:09:53,426 --> 00:09:55,011
Son of a bitch.
211
00:09:55,845 --> 00:09:58,973
Look, Otto, I'm pruney like you.
212
00:09:59,057 --> 00:10:00,183
Oh, yes.
213
00:10:01,643 --> 00:10:04,479
Oh, look how long I can hold my breath.
214
00:10:05,021 --> 00:10:05,897
Hey!
215
00:10:05,980 --> 00:10:07,357
Frank, good to see you.
216
00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:09,609
I just put together
a last minute pool party.
217
00:10:09,692 --> 00:10:12,695
Jesus, you look like hell.
What have you been up to?
218
00:10:12,779 --> 00:10:15,031
You know good and goddamn well
what I've been up to.
219
00:10:15,115 --> 00:10:17,033
The city's making me tear
my baby's room down
220
00:10:17,117 --> 00:10:19,661
because you called the building
department and ratted me out.
221
00:10:19,744 --> 00:10:22,580
My God, that's awful.
Well, I would never do that.
222
00:10:22,664 --> 00:10:24,082
Oh, bullshit,
223
00:10:24,165 --> 00:10:27,502
- you fucking two-faced snake.
- Frank, whoa, take it easy.
224
00:10:27,585 --> 00:10:29,212
Yeah, have a dip with us.
225
00:10:29,295 --> 00:10:31,506
Me and Vic are having a splash fight.
226
00:10:31,589 --> 00:10:34,801
And Nguyen-Nguyen's been kind enough
to cook us up some hot dogs.
227
00:10:34,884 --> 00:10:35,802
Right, Dumpling?
228
00:10:35,885 --> 00:10:36,719
[splashing]
229
00:10:36,803 --> 00:10:38,471
Oh, okay.
230
00:10:38,555 --> 00:10:40,014
I love hot dogs.
231
00:10:40,098 --> 00:10:42,016
Many animals in one tube.
232
00:10:42,100 --> 00:10:43,643
Don't you see what's going on here?
233
00:10:43,726 --> 00:10:45,895
He's using all of you to get back at me.
234
00:10:46,479 --> 00:10:48,940
Frank, why would I want to tear
your room down?
235
00:10:49,023 --> 00:10:50,817
I threw my back out building it.
236
00:10:50,900 --> 00:10:53,278
Oh, it's true.
I saw it all from your bathroom.
237
00:10:53,361 --> 00:10:55,530
He did it because he's nuts!
238
00:10:55,613 --> 00:10:56,823
Look at this note he left.
239
00:10:57,448 --> 00:11:00,076
"Think of me
whenever you think of this room."
240
00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:02,620
I don't know.
That sounds pretty nice to me, Frank.
241
00:11:02,704 --> 00:11:04,998
Only a piece of shit would be that nice.
242
00:11:05,123 --> 00:11:06,541
Don't you fucking people see it?
243
00:11:06,624 --> 00:11:09,294
He gave up his holiday weekend
to work his ass off
244
00:11:09,377 --> 00:11:11,671
to build a beautiful room for me for free
245
00:11:11,754 --> 00:11:14,132
just so he could call the city
and have it torn down.
246
00:11:14,215 --> 00:11:17,844
And then he smiled at me
while tossing a softball up and down.
247
00:11:17,927 --> 00:11:20,555
And he made my dream come true
and took me up in a jet!
248
00:11:20,889 --> 00:11:23,016
He told a snack guy I was important!
249
00:11:23,975 --> 00:11:26,895
Don't you get it? It's all part
of his evil scheme to punish me
250
00:11:26,978 --> 00:11:28,980
because my wife hit a home run off him!
251
00:11:29,063 --> 00:11:30,899
It's so fucking obvious!
252
00:11:32,108 --> 00:11:33,359
Frank, are you all right?
253
00:11:33,443 --> 00:11:36,070
You know the VA offers
free psychiatric help.
254
00:11:36,154 --> 00:11:39,157
Everyone here is with me, Chet,
and we're all leaving together.
255
00:11:39,699 --> 00:11:40,867
Right?
256
00:11:42,452 --> 00:11:43,929
What the fuck is wrong with you people?
257
00:11:43,953 --> 00:11:45,580
Mellow out, Frank.
258
00:11:45,663 --> 00:11:47,248
Nama-stay, don't nama-go.
259
00:11:47,582 --> 00:11:50,668
Ah, Christ, Vic, you were smarter
when you were using narcotics.
260
00:11:51,127 --> 00:11:54,547
[chuckles] Okay. That's enough for me
to get started again. Whoo!
261
00:11:55,131 --> 00:11:56,758
Thanks for the permission, Frank.
262
00:11:56,841 --> 00:11:57,842
[laughs]
263
00:11:57,926 --> 00:12:01,930
He was doing so well
and you pushed him over the edge.
264
00:12:02,013 --> 00:12:05,141
Don't you have some pants
to steal, you sicko?
265
00:12:05,225 --> 00:12:07,435
I don't know
what the fuck that means, Evelyn!
266
00:12:07,518 --> 00:12:09,938
Frank, we're gonna walk away.
267
00:12:10,396 --> 00:12:13,524
We just need to ignore Chet and
we'll never have to deal with him again.
268
00:12:13,608 --> 00:12:15,026
Yeah, I'll ignore Chet.
269
00:12:15,109 --> 00:12:16,736
And I'll ignore all of you!
270
00:12:16,819 --> 00:12:18,863
You are no longer my neighbors!
271
00:12:22,700 --> 00:12:24,953
[gasps for air]
272
00:12:25,036 --> 00:12:27,205
Was anyone timing me?
273
00:12:27,288 --> 00:12:29,088
[Marmalade's "Reflections of My Life"
playing]
274
00:12:29,165 --> 00:12:30,750
♪ The changing ♪
275
00:12:32,043 --> 00:12:33,878
♪ Of sunlight ♪
276
00:12:34,837 --> 00:12:36,422
♪ To moonlight ♪
277
00:12:36,506 --> 00:12:40,760
♪ Reflections of my life ♪
278
00:12:41,844 --> 00:12:46,099
♪ Oh, how they fill my eyes ♪
279
00:12:50,186 --> 00:12:52,021
♪ The greetings ♪
280
00:12:52,689 --> 00:12:54,190
♪ Of people ♪
281
00:12:55,483 --> 00:12:56,651
♪ In trouble ♪
282
00:12:57,360 --> 00:13:01,072
♪ Reflections of my life ♪
283
00:13:02,532 --> 00:13:07,578
♪ Oh, how they fill my eyes ♪
284
00:13:10,248 --> 00:13:14,294
♪ Oh, my sorrows ♪
285
00:13:15,086 --> 00:13:19,007
♪ Sad tomorrows ♪
286
00:13:20,425 --> 00:13:23,678
♪ Take me back ♪
287
00:13:23,761 --> 00:13:26,723
♪ To my own home ♪
288
00:13:26,806 --> 00:13:28,141
God, this is well-built!
289
00:13:30,727 --> 00:13:33,479
♪ Oh, my crying ♪
290
00:13:33,563 --> 00:13:35,523
♪ Oh, my crying ♪
291
00:13:35,606 --> 00:13:39,277
♪ Feel I'm dying, dying ♪
292
00:13:40,987 --> 00:13:43,990
♪ Take me back ♪
293
00:13:44,073 --> 00:13:48,536
♪ To my own home ♪
294
00:13:51,831 --> 00:13:54,375
Thank you, Governor Lester Maddox,
for stopping by.
295
00:13:56,461 --> 00:13:57,962
Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom,
296
00:13:58,046 --> 00:14:00,441
you're taking me and Phillip
to the show tomorrow, right? Right?
297
00:14:00,465 --> 00:14:02,717
- Right?
- For the fifteenth time, yes, honey.
298
00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:04,469
Leave your mother alone, Princess.
299
00:14:04,552 --> 00:14:07,930
Sue, I need help with this tie tack.
God damn it.
300
00:14:08,014 --> 00:14:09,825
Mom, hope you don't mind,
I borrowed your shirt.
301
00:14:09,849 --> 00:14:12,602
It's called a blouse, Kevin,
and you look lovely.
302
00:14:12,685 --> 00:14:13,603
It's for my show!
303
00:14:13,686 --> 00:14:15,497
- You have a show?
- I talked about it all week!
304
00:14:15,521 --> 00:14:18,149
Yeah, well, I've been
a little busy fixing a runway,
305
00:14:18,232 --> 00:14:19,317
tearing down my house,
306
00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:20,943
and pissing out 50 dollars a day,
307
00:14:21,027 --> 00:14:23,154
thanks to Colonel Cocksucker
up the street!
308
00:14:23,237 --> 00:14:24,530
See? Daddy says it.
309
00:14:24,614 --> 00:14:25,948
I never say that.
310
00:14:26,032 --> 00:14:28,993
Honey, we're not gonna
think about Chet tonight.
311
00:14:29,243 --> 00:14:33,956
We're going to a nice party to unveil
your new runway at your work,
312
00:14:34,040 --> 00:14:37,168
- where everyone loves and respects you.
- You're right.
313
00:14:37,251 --> 00:14:40,463
Mom, you think it's good I'm back
with Bolo and Lex, right?
314
00:14:40,546 --> 00:14:42,340
I mean, we're playing music I hate,
315
00:14:42,423 --> 00:14:44,550
and I don't know if the guys
like me anymore,
316
00:14:44,634 --> 00:14:47,428
so I just... I feel like I'm doing
whatever they say to fit in...
317
00:14:47,512 --> 00:14:50,264
Yeah. Yeah, sounds great, honey.
Frank, we're gonna be late.
318
00:14:50,723 --> 00:14:52,058
Be good. Go to bed at nine.
319
00:14:52,141 --> 00:14:53,768
And don't give the dog peanut butter.
320
00:14:53,851 --> 00:14:55,853
I know it's hilarious, but it's cruel.
321
00:14:59,482 --> 00:15:01,651
[indistinct chatter]
322
00:15:03,528 --> 00:15:05,238
Rosie, old buddy.
323
00:15:05,321 --> 00:15:07,865
I hear you're running for alderman.
324
00:15:08,449 --> 00:15:12,578
Have I ever told you
what a huge fan I am of integration?
325
00:15:12,662 --> 00:15:14,622
Why are you reading that off your hand?
326
00:15:14,705 --> 00:15:18,626
I wanted to remember the things
I feel so deeply about.
327
00:15:18,709 --> 00:15:20,503
Cut the bullshit, Bob.
328
00:15:20,586 --> 00:15:22,296
You think you can kiss my ass a little
329
00:15:22,380 --> 00:15:25,299
and I'll start doing you favors
if I'm elected alderman?
330
00:15:25,383 --> 00:15:27,218
Uh... Yes?
331
00:15:27,593 --> 00:15:28,594
Not too shabby, huh?
332
00:15:28,678 --> 00:15:30,358
Free booze
and we're not even at a funeral.
333
00:15:30,388 --> 00:15:32,849
Oh, the bubbles are tickling the baby.
334
00:15:32,932 --> 00:15:35,017
[both laugh]
335
00:15:35,810 --> 00:15:37,979
One more practice before tomorrow.
336
00:15:38,062 --> 00:15:39,939
It's almost my bed time.
337
00:15:40,022 --> 00:15:42,233
See, I've already lotioned my hands.
338
00:15:42,316 --> 00:15:43,901
You better not be slacking off on me!
339
00:15:43,985 --> 00:15:47,822
I assure you,
I've taken my training seriously.
340
00:15:50,283 --> 00:15:52,118
Holy shit.
341
00:16:00,793 --> 00:16:03,212
I don't remember doing any of this.
342
00:16:03,296 --> 00:16:07,300
So Heidi here survived a harrowing
ten minutes in the tiger habitat.
343
00:16:07,383 --> 00:16:08,676
She's my little miracle.
344
00:16:08,759 --> 00:16:09,844
- [laughs]
- [moos]
345
00:16:09,927 --> 00:16:12,096
I couldn't help noticing her udders.
346
00:16:12,638 --> 00:16:14,223
I'm sensing she's pregnant.
347
00:16:14,307 --> 00:16:16,100
Isn't she beautiful, Bingo?
348
00:16:16,809 --> 00:16:18,311
[screeching]
349
00:16:18,394 --> 00:16:19,394
Bingo, no!
350
00:16:19,437 --> 00:16:20,938
Nice hands, nice hands! Nice...
351
00:16:21,397 --> 00:16:23,733
[continuous beep]
352
00:16:25,109 --> 00:16:27,111
[sighs] Lucky cow.
353
00:16:28,196 --> 00:16:29,196
[screams]
354
00:16:29,489 --> 00:16:32,033
Fucking Bridget! I hate her!
355
00:16:32,450 --> 00:16:33,910
♪ Flying in a plane now ♪
356
00:16:35,286 --> 00:16:38,247
- Thank you, Tin Chicken.
- [cheering]
357
00:16:38,331 --> 00:16:41,459
And now, to welcome our new jumbo jet,
358
00:16:41,542 --> 00:16:45,296
here's the man whose people
so kindly gave up the land
359
00:16:45,379 --> 00:16:48,382
our airport and nation are built upon,
360
00:16:48,466 --> 00:16:50,885
Chief Feathercorn!
361
00:16:50,968 --> 00:16:52,094
[cheering]
362
00:16:54,096 --> 00:16:56,265
Oh, almighty sky father,
363
00:16:56,349 --> 00:17:00,394
bringer of generous leg room
and free cigars in first class,
364
00:17:00,478 --> 00:17:07,026
call down your great aluminum falcon
and land him on the river of tar
365
00:17:07,109 --> 00:17:10,154
- where mighty trees once stood.
- [cheering and applause]
366
00:17:11,656 --> 00:17:12,698
[jet engines whirring]
367
00:17:16,744 --> 00:17:18,287
[cheering and applause]
368
00:17:18,371 --> 00:17:21,123
Flattest runway
east of the Mississippi, Sue.
369
00:17:21,207 --> 00:17:23,543
[Brandy] Let's give a heap biggum
thank you
370
00:17:23,626 --> 00:17:27,588
to our chief of ground services,
Frank Murphy.
371
00:17:29,006 --> 00:17:30,633
I'm so proud of you, Frank.
372
00:17:30,716 --> 00:17:34,011
And, as a special surprise,
373
00:17:34,095 --> 00:17:37,306
who better to make our inaugural flight
374
00:17:37,390 --> 00:17:41,811
than US Air Force Colonel Chet Stevenson!
375
00:17:43,604 --> 00:17:44,604
What?
376
00:17:45,898 --> 00:17:48,526
Oh, that is it, Jesus. I'm going Jew.
377
00:17:48,609 --> 00:17:51,279
[rock music playing]
378
00:17:51,362 --> 00:17:53,281
[cheering]
379
00:17:56,450 --> 00:17:59,579
[plays wild guitar solo]
380
00:18:00,246 --> 00:18:01,455
[tambourine jingling]
381
00:18:02,999 --> 00:18:04,500
You were bitching.
382
00:18:04,834 --> 00:18:06,627
How'd you get so good at guitar?
383
00:18:06,711 --> 00:18:08,254
I don't go to school.
384
00:18:08,337 --> 00:18:09,672
[girl] Oh!
385
00:18:09,755 --> 00:18:11,841
Tambourine is way harder.
386
00:18:11,924 --> 00:18:14,343
There's a lot of nuances to it,
like, do you shake it?
387
00:18:14,427 --> 00:18:15,636
Use your hand?
388
00:18:15,720 --> 00:18:17,263
Or hit the side of your ass?
389
00:18:17,805 --> 00:18:18,806
I got bruises.
390
00:18:18,889 --> 00:18:20,683
I don't remember seeing you up there.
391
00:18:22,476 --> 00:18:24,020
Do you have any beer?
392
00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:25,646
I can get beer! No problem.
393
00:18:25,730 --> 00:18:26,814
Really, Murph?
394
00:18:26,897 --> 00:18:28,608
Yeah! Anything for my bandmates.
395
00:18:28,691 --> 00:18:30,526
I mean, who wouldn't for his best friends?
396
00:18:31,027 --> 00:18:34,071
Can I get you guys anything else?
Beef jerky? Individual aspirin?
397
00:18:37,033 --> 00:18:38,075
Okay, I'm on it.
398
00:18:39,160 --> 00:18:42,163
You want to watch me
make squirrel stew in a truck tire?
399
00:18:42,246 --> 00:18:44,457
[both] Ooh!
400
00:18:44,540 --> 00:18:46,959
We're gonna submit it
to the Cannes Film Festival
401
00:18:47,043 --> 00:18:50,254
under the name... [speaks French]
402
00:18:50,338 --> 00:18:53,758
which loosely translates
to "Horizontal Romance Academy."
403
00:18:53,841 --> 00:18:54,717
That's nice.
404
00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:57,553
I got to say, this bird is a real beauty.
405
00:18:58,095 --> 00:19:00,389
The kind of beauty
that keeps a man up at night.
406
00:19:00,473 --> 00:19:04,602
That's a plane you want to get inside
and pray to God you don't break her spirit
407
00:19:04,685 --> 00:19:06,937
when you're pounding down on the stick.
408
00:19:07,021 --> 00:19:09,065
You want to treat her real nice.
409
00:19:09,148 --> 00:19:10,191
[giggles]
410
00:19:10,274 --> 00:19:12,902
It sounds like you're talking about sex.
411
00:19:12,985 --> 00:19:15,613
- Chet... [gasps]
- I am networking right now.
412
00:19:16,030 --> 00:19:18,282
Have you ever been
in the cockpit of an F-4?
413
00:19:18,574 --> 00:19:21,261
I'm going to have to get you up there
sometime. It's a hell of a ride.
414
00:19:21,285 --> 00:19:23,079
[both laugh]
415
00:19:23,162 --> 00:19:24,205
Chet?
416
00:19:24,288 --> 00:19:26,290
Go make yourself useful
and get us some cocktails.
417
00:19:26,832 --> 00:19:27,917
I'm sorry.
418
00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:29,043
That bastard.
419
00:19:29,126 --> 00:19:30,812
I thought you said
we were gonna ignore him.
420
00:19:30,836 --> 00:19:32,630
It's not him I care about.
421
00:19:34,048 --> 00:19:36,926
Hey, you want to huff some leftover tar?
422
00:19:39,512 --> 00:19:41,639
What do you want, diarrhea dick?
423
00:19:42,765 --> 00:19:45,434
You are the worst thing
that's ever happened to me!
424
00:19:45,935 --> 00:19:49,271
You painted my bike,
you hung a dummy of me!
425
00:19:49,647 --> 00:19:51,899
I wish I never met you!
426
00:19:51,982 --> 00:19:54,944
Just get out of my life,
you fucking psycho!
427
00:19:57,196 --> 00:19:59,281
[sniveling]
428
00:20:00,116 --> 00:20:02,660
Why are you so mean to me?
429
00:20:02,743 --> 00:20:04,787
- [crying]
- Huh?
430
00:20:04,870 --> 00:20:06,497
I'm a psycho?
431
00:20:06,956 --> 00:20:09,834
Because I give you
all my love and attention?
432
00:20:10,376 --> 00:20:13,003
Would a psycho look over you
while you sleep?
433
00:20:13,087 --> 00:20:14,213
You what?
434
00:20:14,839 --> 00:20:17,675
You think I'm a psycho!
435
00:20:17,758 --> 00:20:19,844
No, no, please, stop crying!
436
00:20:20,261 --> 00:20:26,142
You hate me just like my dad
and my brother and my mom
437
00:20:26,225 --> 00:20:30,229
and my stepmom and my first stepmom!
438
00:20:30,813 --> 00:20:32,648
No, no, no, I don't hate you.
439
00:20:32,732 --> 00:20:34,692
Just stop crying. I didn't mean it.
440
00:20:36,736 --> 00:20:37,736
You didn't?
441
00:20:37,778 --> 00:20:39,572
No, of course not.
442
00:20:39,655 --> 00:20:40,655
So...
443
00:20:41,741 --> 00:20:43,033
you don't want to break up?
444
00:20:43,117 --> 00:20:44,034
Uh...
445
00:20:44,118 --> 00:20:47,204
No... I don't want to break up.
446
00:20:47,288 --> 00:20:50,207
Good. Then be here tomorrow
and bring money.
447
00:20:50,291 --> 00:20:53,127
You're gonna buy me
a hot dog and some smokes.
448
00:20:55,880 --> 00:20:57,923
How the fuck did she do that?
449
00:20:59,800 --> 00:21:02,678
Damn it, Irv, you got to get me
out of this gig.
450
00:21:03,637 --> 00:21:06,515
I don't care if I have to suck off
the cast of F-Troop!
451
00:21:07,183 --> 00:21:10,227
Nguyen-Nguyen, you can't keep letting Chet
treat you like this.
452
00:21:10,686 --> 00:21:12,146
I'm fine, Sue.
453
00:21:12,229 --> 00:21:14,774
- I'm a survivor.
- [Sue] You don't have to put up with him.
454
00:21:14,857 --> 00:21:17,276
Sue, you're a good friend.
455
00:21:17,359 --> 00:21:21,197
But don't worry.
I'm helping Chet change on inside.
456
00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:23,699
Deep down. A little bit each day.
457
00:21:23,783 --> 00:21:27,119
Nguyen-Nguyen, when you're in the middle
of it, you can't see things clearly.
458
00:21:27,203 --> 00:21:30,414
I'm on the outside, and I can see
that it's not getting better.
459
00:21:30,498 --> 00:21:31,916
It's actually getting worse.
460
00:21:32,458 --> 00:21:34,418
You don't have to put on this brave face.
461
00:21:34,502 --> 00:21:37,588
Brave Face? You know Moon Wolf Brave Face?
462
00:21:37,671 --> 00:21:39,048
Is he gunning for this gig too?
463
00:21:39,548 --> 00:21:40,966
I got to call Irv back.
464
00:21:41,050 --> 00:21:44,011
Nguyen-Nguyen, you're not living
in a rice paddy anymore.
465
00:21:44,094 --> 00:21:46,639
This is America in the 20th century.
466
00:21:46,722 --> 00:21:50,476
There are things abused wives
can do to help themselves.
467
00:21:50,559 --> 00:21:53,312
Talk to a priest, find a friendly fireman,
468
00:21:53,395 --> 00:21:54,772
watch Phil Donahue.
469
00:21:54,855 --> 00:21:56,690
Sue, I know what I'm doing.
470
00:21:56,774 --> 00:21:57,983
No, you don't!
471
00:21:58,818 --> 00:21:59,858
Sue, this is where I work.
472
00:21:59,902 --> 00:22:02,404
- Please don't cause a scene.
- Everything okay, Frank?
473
00:22:02,488 --> 00:22:05,074
I hope we didn't offend Sue
talking about our sex art.
474
00:22:05,157 --> 00:22:06,659
Leave Frank alone, you idiots.
475
00:22:06,742 --> 00:22:08,911
Can I freshen up your malt liquor, Rosie?
476
00:22:08,994 --> 00:22:10,621
Nothing to see here. It's personal.
477
00:22:10,704 --> 00:22:11,704
What is?
478
00:22:12,331 --> 00:22:14,375
Forget it, Chet. It's nothing.
479
00:22:14,917 --> 00:22:18,254
Looks to me like Sue's trying to put
some crazy ideas in my wife's head.
480
00:22:18,337 --> 00:22:20,047
Yeah, I'm the crazy one.
481
00:22:20,631 --> 00:22:23,217
I see you, Chet, for exactly who you are.
482
00:22:23,801 --> 00:22:25,344
An angry, sad man,
483
00:22:25,427 --> 00:22:28,430
who has to bully his wife around
to make him feel big and strong.
484
00:22:29,014 --> 00:22:31,684
Who had to burn down her village
just to take her as his wife.
485
00:22:31,767 --> 00:22:34,186
Technically, village was already burning.
486
00:22:34,270 --> 00:22:36,146
What kind of healthy marriage
is that, Chet?
487
00:22:36,230 --> 00:22:38,023
Is she your wife or your slave?
488
00:22:38,107 --> 00:22:41,151
I've always thought
slavery was wrong, Rosie,
489
00:22:41,235 --> 00:22:43,696
but I would have paid top dollar for you.
490
00:22:43,779 --> 00:22:44,864
[both] Shut up, Bob!
491
00:22:45,739 --> 00:22:46,782
Listen, Chet.
492
00:22:47,491 --> 00:22:49,285
I don't want anymore trouble with you.
493
00:22:49,660 --> 00:22:53,497
Let's just call a cease fire
and steer clear of each other. Okay?
494
00:22:53,581 --> 00:22:57,334
Frank, I don't know what I ever did to
make you feel this way about me, but sure.
495
00:22:57,918 --> 00:23:01,046
It'll be a little difficult
to steer clear of each other, though,
496
00:23:01,130 --> 00:23:04,842
because, well, Brandy's hiring me
to take over your pilot training program.
497
00:23:04,925 --> 00:23:06,302
You're gonna be working here?
498
00:23:06,385 --> 00:23:07,678
Isn't that great?
499
00:23:07,761 --> 00:23:10,723
I'm gonna see you
around the neighborhood and the airport.
500
00:23:11,098 --> 00:23:14,810
And if you ever get over
your crazy obsession with me,
501
00:23:15,311 --> 00:23:17,062
we can even carpool.
502
00:23:17,521 --> 00:23:20,232
I promise... I won't look at you.
503
00:23:20,941 --> 00:23:22,484
Enjoy the party, Frank.
504
00:23:23,027 --> 00:23:24,403
Always a pleasure, Sue.
505
00:23:25,446 --> 00:23:26,446
Dumpling.
506
00:23:30,367 --> 00:23:33,746
[man reciting over music]
Therefore, be at peace with God
507
00:23:34,371 --> 00:23:36,332
Whatever you conceive him to be
508
00:23:37,082 --> 00:23:41,670
And whatever your labors and aspirations
In the noisy confusion of life
509
00:23:42,421 --> 00:23:44,089
Keep peace with your soul
510
00:23:44,798 --> 00:23:47,426
But do not distress yourself
With imaginings
511
00:23:47,509 --> 00:23:50,346
Many fears are born
Of fatigue and loneliness
512
00:23:50,429 --> 00:23:51,429
You got an I.D.?
513
00:23:51,764 --> 00:23:53,891
No. I have an idea.
514
00:23:53,974 --> 00:23:55,851
It's called free beer! [laughs]
515
00:23:55,935 --> 00:23:56,852
Ah!
516
00:23:56,936 --> 00:23:59,229
With all its drudgery and broken dreams
517
00:23:59,313 --> 00:24:01,982
It is still a beautiful world
518
00:24:02,066 --> 00:24:07,488
[female chorus]
♪ You are a child of the universe ♪
519
00:24:08,072 --> 00:24:10,699
♪ No less than the trees and the stars ♪
520
00:24:10,783 --> 00:24:13,953
♪ You have a right to be here ♪
521
00:24:14,036 --> 00:24:15,996
♪ You are a child... ♪
522
00:24:16,622 --> 00:24:18,540
- [beep]
- [robotic voice] Two new messages.
523
00:24:19,875 --> 00:24:22,378
Hey, buddy. It's Chet. Fun night, huh?
524
00:24:22,878 --> 00:24:26,590
Well, I am just enjoying a nice bowl
of cao lau right now,
525
00:24:26,674 --> 00:24:30,260
in my house
that is not under sanctions by the city,
526
00:24:30,344 --> 00:24:32,471
just, you know,
snuggling up with my dumpling.
527
00:24:32,554 --> 00:24:34,682
Can you believe
we're gonna be work buddies now?
528
00:24:35,140 --> 00:24:37,142
Man, I am so blessed.
529
00:24:37,226 --> 00:24:39,979
Sometimes I think, "Chet, what kind
of goodness you putting out there
530
00:24:40,062 --> 00:24:43,649
that just gets you so blessed with
these kinds of situations all the time?"
531
00:24:44,149 --> 00:24:47,027
Anyway, I did notice something
at the party tonight.
532
00:24:47,528 --> 00:24:49,279
You know, Sue seemed a little tense.
533
00:24:49,363 --> 00:24:50,781
Kind of wound too tight.
534
00:24:50,864 --> 00:24:53,075
Now, I am certainly not a doctor,
535
00:24:53,617 --> 00:24:57,162
but I think she's got
a bad case of the hornies.
536
00:24:57,246 --> 00:24:58,664
That son of a bitch!
537
00:24:58,747 --> 00:25:01,250
[Chet] The cure for that is real simple.
What you need to do...
538
00:25:02,459 --> 00:25:03,919
[Robotic voice] Second message.
539
00:25:04,003 --> 00:25:05,921
[Chet] It's me again.
The machine cut me off.
540
00:25:06,005 --> 00:25:10,801
Anyway, you need to get her
on her tummy and show her who's boss.
541
00:25:10,884 --> 00:25:13,554
Next time she starts
all her nonsense yapping,
542
00:25:13,637 --> 00:25:17,182
she should wake up
with a saluting soldier right in her face,
543
00:25:17,266 --> 00:25:19,560
ready for action.
Take that mean right out of her.
544
00:25:19,643 --> 00:25:22,062
He is a fucking dead man!
545
00:25:22,146 --> 00:25:26,025
[Chet] Anyway, you want to drive to work
on Monday, or should I pick you up?
546
00:25:26,108 --> 00:25:27,735
- [beep]
- [screams]
547
00:25:29,903 --> 00:25:31,196
I'm gonna kill him.
548
00:25:31,280 --> 00:25:33,449
I'm gonna beat that smirk
right off his fucking face.
549
00:25:33,532 --> 00:25:34,408
Frank.
550
00:25:34,491 --> 00:25:36,243
Sue, do not try to stop me.
551
00:25:36,326 --> 00:25:38,954
I'm not gonna stop you,
I'm gonna join you.
552
00:25:39,038 --> 00:25:41,165
How many slices do you want?
553
00:25:46,128 --> 00:25:47,128
I didn't do anything!
554
00:25:50,424 --> 00:25:51,550
They're at Chet's house.
555
00:25:51,633 --> 00:25:52,801
Nguyen-Nguyen!
556
00:25:54,011 --> 00:25:55,929
[gasps] What has he done to her?
557
00:25:56,013 --> 00:25:57,556
I think he's dying on her.
558
00:25:58,098 --> 00:25:59,892
[retching and coughing]
559
00:26:02,853 --> 00:26:04,313
- Holy shit!
- What happened?
560
00:26:04,396 --> 00:26:06,023
The wife was poisoning his noodles.
561
00:26:06,106 --> 00:26:06,982
[all] What?
562
00:26:07,066 --> 00:26:09,401
Threw up two gallons of floor cleanser.
563
00:26:09,485 --> 00:26:11,987
Poor bastard smells
like he just blew Mr. Clean.
564
00:26:12,071 --> 00:26:15,240
I innocent. No talk English good.
565
00:26:16,909 --> 00:26:20,120
I was changing Chet
a little bit at a time,
566
00:26:20,454 --> 00:26:24,958
but tonight I got tired of waiting
and poured in the whole bottle.
567
00:26:26,126 --> 00:26:28,796
I told you, Sue. I'm a survivor.
568
00:26:29,088 --> 00:26:30,923
I... I...
569
00:26:32,049 --> 00:26:33,342
Book me, Danno.
570
00:26:33,425 --> 00:26:34,551
[car door opens and closes]
571
00:26:34,635 --> 00:26:35,469
[car engine starts]
572
00:26:35,552 --> 00:26:38,889
[sirens wailing]
573
00:26:39,973 --> 00:26:42,976
Man didn't know what was going on
under his own roof.
574
00:26:45,854 --> 00:26:48,315
[phone ringing]
575
00:26:53,070 --> 00:26:53,946
[beep]
576
00:26:54,029 --> 00:26:57,032
[robotic voice]
Leave a message at the tone.
577
00:26:58,367 --> 00:27:00,619
[Kevin] Mom? Dad? Are you there?
578
00:27:01,453 --> 00:27:03,789
It's me, Kevin. Your son.
579
00:27:04,498 --> 00:27:05,707
From the basement.
580
00:27:05,791 --> 00:27:07,459
Uh...
581
00:27:07,543 --> 00:27:08,961
I'm at the police station.
582
00:27:09,670 --> 00:27:13,215
I got arrested and...
I need you to bail me out.
583
00:27:14,258 --> 00:27:16,510
Hello? Are you there?
584
00:27:17,511 --> 00:27:19,012
Mom? Dad?
585
00:27:19,805 --> 00:27:21,598
Mr. Goomer, are you listening?
586
00:27:22,641 --> 00:27:25,310
Oh, no, if I have a criminal record,
587
00:27:25,394 --> 00:27:28,147
will I still be able
to get a job as a rock star?
588
00:27:28,939 --> 00:27:31,525
Maureen? Major?
589
00:27:32,651 --> 00:27:33,735
Come on!
590
00:27:34,444 --> 00:27:37,364
Oh, man, I knew I should've called Bolo.
591
00:27:39,950 --> 00:27:42,578
Dad, they need my Social Security number.
592
00:27:43,245 --> 00:27:46,123
I just said it was seven... is that it?
593
00:27:47,040 --> 00:27:49,042
It's only one number, right?
594
00:27:49,585 --> 00:27:51,962
- [mechanical whirring]
- [gunshot]