1 00:00:06,965 --> 00:00:08,300 [knock on door] 2 00:00:08,383 --> 00:00:11,220 [Ginny] Otto! It's Ginny! 3 00:00:12,095 --> 00:00:14,181 From the softball game. 4 00:00:14,264 --> 00:00:17,684 I made you a two-day anniversary cake. 5 00:00:17,768 --> 00:00:19,269 [knocking] 6 00:00:19,353 --> 00:00:21,522 You can't hide from me. 7 00:00:22,523 --> 00:00:25,943 [Ginny] One of your neighbors told me you were in there. 8 00:00:26,026 --> 00:00:29,404 This time I will not go quietly. 9 00:00:29,488 --> 00:00:32,991 [Redbone's "Come and Get Your Love" playing] 10 00:00:40,207 --> 00:00:42,751 ♪ Come and get your love ♪ 11 00:00:44,753 --> 00:00:47,548 ♪ Come and get your love ♪ 12 00:00:49,341 --> 00:00:51,552 ♪ Come and get your love ♪ 13 00:00:53,387 --> 00:00:56,014 ♪ Come and get your love ♪ 14 00:00:57,432 --> 00:00:59,393 ♪ Come and get your love Come and get your love ♪ 15 00:00:59,476 --> 00:01:01,019 ♪ Come and get your love now ♪ 16 00:01:02,187 --> 00:01:03,748 ♪ Come and get your love Come and get your love ♪ 17 00:01:03,772 --> 00:01:05,440 ♪ Come and get your love now ♪ 18 00:01:05,524 --> 00:01:06,567 [grunts] Ah! 19 00:01:06,650 --> 00:01:08,336 ♪ Come and get your love Come and get your love ♪ 20 00:01:08,360 --> 00:01:10,153 ♪ Come and get your love now ♪ 21 00:01:11,280 --> 00:01:12,966 ♪ Come and get your love Come and get your love ♪ 22 00:01:12,990 --> 00:01:14,950 ♪ Come and get your love now ♪ 23 00:01:15,033 --> 00:01:16,451 [boom] 24 00:01:18,412 --> 00:01:22,624 Otto! The frosting is melting, you asshole! 25 00:01:22,708 --> 00:01:24,209 So those two are an item now. 26 00:01:24,293 --> 00:01:27,355 Looks like getting beaned by Chet was the best thing that ever happened to her. 27 00:01:27,379 --> 00:01:30,549 Yeah, she took three balls to the face that day. 28 00:01:30,632 --> 00:01:32,009 [both laugh] 29 00:01:32,092 --> 00:01:33,093 [Sue clears throat] 30 00:01:33,176 --> 00:01:35,345 Uh... Hey, Sue. 31 00:01:36,054 --> 00:01:37,806 Repulsed by my double entendre? 32 00:01:40,642 --> 00:01:43,145 Well, I better smoodgie-doo on home. 33 00:01:43,228 --> 00:01:44,396 Enjoy your vacation. 34 00:01:44,479 --> 00:01:46,398 I'll stop by and bring in your mail. 35 00:01:46,982 --> 00:01:48,900 And don't you worry about Ginger here. 36 00:01:48,984 --> 00:01:51,278 I'll take good care of her too. 37 00:01:51,361 --> 00:01:53,572 The dog's name's Major, and it's a boy. 38 00:01:53,905 --> 00:01:55,574 I'll be the judge of that. 39 00:01:56,366 --> 00:01:58,160 Oh, lookie there! [chuckles] 40 00:01:58,243 --> 00:02:00,954 When you're right, you're right, Frank. [chuckles] 41 00:02:01,038 --> 00:02:02,398 All right, well, have a good time. 42 00:02:02,914 --> 00:02:06,543 Oh. So it's funny to you that Chet almost broke Ginny's face. 43 00:02:06,627 --> 00:02:09,171 Sue, the woman's having amazing pity sex. 44 00:02:09,838 --> 00:02:11,715 Now, Ginny, I... 45 00:02:11,798 --> 00:02:13,342 [Otto groaning] 46 00:02:14,217 --> 00:02:16,261 No one knows who's pitying who, but they don't care! 47 00:02:16,345 --> 00:02:17,846 - [Frank chuckles] - Agh. 48 00:02:17,929 --> 00:02:21,975 Look, this is our one vacation all year and I don't want to spend it fighting. 49 00:02:22,768 --> 00:02:24,561 I promise, when we get back, 50 00:02:24,645 --> 00:02:27,689 we can yell and scream to our heart's content 51 00:02:27,773 --> 00:02:29,441 about whatever it is you can't let go of. 52 00:02:29,524 --> 00:02:31,735 Well, I just added one more thing to that list. 53 00:02:31,818 --> 00:02:33,445 Great, something to look forward to. 54 00:02:33,528 --> 00:02:35,739 Come on, kids! It's time to jump in the fun wagon! 55 00:02:36,990 --> 00:02:39,159 More like a hearse for my soul. 56 00:02:39,242 --> 00:02:40,911 Get in the car, sunshine. 57 00:02:40,994 --> 00:02:42,913 Let's go, Billy boy! 58 00:02:42,996 --> 00:02:46,375 Time to swim, fish, and shit in the woods with your old man. 59 00:02:46,458 --> 00:02:47,584 There's nothing to live for. 60 00:02:47,668 --> 00:02:50,587 For Christ's sake, it's an ice cream truck. Get over it. 61 00:02:50,671 --> 00:02:51,838 We're Murphy men. 62 00:02:51,922 --> 00:02:52,923 What do we do? 63 00:02:53,256 --> 00:02:54,758 We shove it down. 64 00:02:54,841 --> 00:02:55,759 That's right. 65 00:02:55,842 --> 00:02:58,136 And later in life, we take it out on someone else. 66 00:02:58,220 --> 00:03:00,138 Princess, time to go! 67 00:03:00,222 --> 00:03:01,765 Just a second. 68 00:03:02,349 --> 00:03:05,018 If we're gonna win on Hobo Jojo, we have to be ready. 69 00:03:05,102 --> 00:03:07,896 We need to practice ring toss every moment we get. 70 00:03:07,979 --> 00:03:09,356 Don't let me down. 71 00:03:09,439 --> 00:03:12,984 Like the titan Argus, I will be vigilant. 72 00:03:13,068 --> 00:03:14,986 Talking like that is why people punch you. 73 00:03:15,070 --> 00:03:18,532 And like Atlas, it's a burden I bear with great... 74 00:03:18,615 --> 00:03:19,950 Agh! 75 00:03:21,284 --> 00:03:23,078 Hey, Murphy's. 76 00:03:23,161 --> 00:03:25,622 Oh, hey, Chet. Nguyen-Nguyen. 77 00:03:25,706 --> 00:03:27,207 Sue, Chet and Nguyen-Nguyen are here. 78 00:03:27,290 --> 00:03:29,793 I can see that, Frank. Hi, Nguyen-Nguyen. 79 00:03:29,876 --> 00:03:31,670 Sue, I've come hat in hand 80 00:03:31,753 --> 00:03:34,923 and I just want to say how really truly sorry I am 81 00:03:35,006 --> 00:03:37,467 for the horrible way I behaved at the softball game. 82 00:03:37,926 --> 00:03:41,012 There's no excuse for it... and I apologize. 83 00:03:41,638 --> 00:03:46,643 Yes, he so upset, he torture himself by watching Jane Fonda movie. 84 00:03:46,727 --> 00:03:49,730 And Frank, hey, you were right to call me out on it. 85 00:03:49,813 --> 00:03:51,189 I hope you can forgive me. 86 00:03:51,273 --> 00:03:52,858 Yeah, sure. 87 00:03:53,316 --> 00:03:54,151 Right? 88 00:03:54,234 --> 00:03:55,234 [sighs] 89 00:03:55,277 --> 00:03:56,361 Fine. 90 00:03:56,445 --> 00:03:58,739 Thank you, Sue. You touched a humble heart today. 91 00:03:58,822 --> 00:04:00,699 And to make things up to the both of you, 92 00:04:00,782 --> 00:04:02,576 I'm gonna start back on that baby's room. 93 00:04:02,909 --> 00:04:05,495 I think I can make a real dent in it while you're away. 94 00:04:05,579 --> 00:04:06,663 Oh, my God, 95 00:04:06,747 --> 00:04:08,623 Chet, anything you would do would be great. 96 00:04:08,707 --> 00:04:11,084 Yes. How very nonviolent of you. 97 00:04:11,668 --> 00:04:13,754 Oh, according to the pregnancy book, 98 00:04:13,837 --> 00:04:16,089 she's liable to say all kinds of crazy shit. 99 00:04:16,173 --> 00:04:17,883 Well, we better hit the road. 100 00:04:17,966 --> 00:04:18,966 Here we go! 101 00:04:20,218 --> 00:04:22,304 Bye! Thanks again, Chet! 102 00:04:24,931 --> 00:04:27,434 Safe driving. Enjoy your vacation! 103 00:04:27,517 --> 00:04:31,271 Don't know what vacation is, but have good one anyway! 104 00:04:33,356 --> 00:04:36,067 [Frank] Okay, who's ready for seven hours of car fun? 105 00:04:36,651 --> 00:04:38,779 And remember: no bickering, no moaning, no groaning. 106 00:04:39,613 --> 00:04:41,239 And we're not making any stops either, 107 00:04:41,323 --> 00:04:44,284 so if you have to pee, puke or poop, you do it out the window. 108 00:04:44,367 --> 00:04:46,411 And keep your hands off the fucking radio! 109 00:04:47,204 --> 00:04:48,663 [announcer] Here's Tommy Tahoe. 110 00:04:48,747 --> 00:04:50,332 No! 111 00:04:50,415 --> 00:04:52,709 ♪ I love the highway ♪ 112 00:04:52,793 --> 00:04:56,004 It's the place to be 113 00:04:57,464 --> 00:04:59,925 ♪ I love the highway ♪ 114 00:05:00,008 --> 00:05:03,011 ♪ From sea to shining sea ♪ 115 00:05:04,471 --> 00:05:07,724 ♪ Bad women drivers on the road ♪ 116 00:05:08,308 --> 00:05:11,394 ♪ Koo-koo Asians going slow ♪ 117 00:05:11,478 --> 00:05:14,064 ♪ It don't bother me ♪ 118 00:05:14,147 --> 00:05:17,067 ♪ Because I've got a gun under my seat ♪ 119 00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:20,487 ♪ And baby I'm free ♪ 120 00:05:22,864 --> 00:05:24,366 - [Frank] Knock it off! - Frank! 121 00:05:24,449 --> 00:05:25,450 [horn honks] 122 00:05:26,284 --> 00:05:27,284 [Frank] We're here! 123 00:05:28,245 --> 00:05:31,498 Our first time back in years and it still looks the same. 124 00:05:34,042 --> 00:05:35,293 Oh, an amusement park! 125 00:05:36,753 --> 00:05:39,005 I bet it has ring toss! 126 00:05:39,089 --> 00:05:40,316 Can we go there? Can we? Can we? 127 00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:41,341 Oh, no. 128 00:05:41,424 --> 00:05:44,185 That place is full of a thousand thieves all sharing one set of teeth. 129 00:05:44,553 --> 00:05:45,554 Cool. 130 00:05:45,637 --> 00:05:46,638 Oh. 131 00:05:46,721 --> 00:05:48,682 The Wawayonda Inn. 132 00:05:48,765 --> 00:05:52,102 Kids, we used to go there when your mother and I were first married. 133 00:05:52,644 --> 00:05:53,687 And that's where... 134 00:05:53,770 --> 00:05:55,105 [clears throat] 135 00:05:56,606 --> 00:05:57,607 Where what? 136 00:05:57,691 --> 00:05:59,251 - What happened there? - [both] Nothing. 137 00:06:05,407 --> 00:06:08,535 [Kevin] Daddy wawa! Daddy wawa! 138 00:06:09,578 --> 00:06:12,664 Oh, my God. Is that where I almost drowned? 139 00:06:12,747 --> 00:06:14,207 - No. - Of course not. 140 00:06:14,291 --> 00:06:15,458 But I think I remember... 141 00:06:15,542 --> 00:06:16,960 You remember nothing! 142 00:06:17,043 --> 00:06:18,879 Hey, look, kids, an ostrich farm! 143 00:06:27,637 --> 00:06:29,556 Checking on the dog, hon. 144 00:06:36,313 --> 00:06:37,939 I'm good with dogs. 145 00:06:42,736 --> 00:06:44,988 "I'll put you through that fucking wall!" 146 00:06:45,071 --> 00:06:46,740 [chuckles] 147 00:06:48,575 --> 00:06:50,493 [Frank] Our amazing vacation has begun! 148 00:06:52,454 --> 00:06:54,539 Oh, it's beautiful. 149 00:06:54,623 --> 00:06:55,999 Just like the brochure. 150 00:07:00,754 --> 00:07:02,756 [geese honking] 151 00:07:10,388 --> 00:07:11,806 [laughs] 152 00:07:11,890 --> 00:07:12,807 What were they doing? 153 00:07:12,891 --> 00:07:14,184 They're fucking, dummy. 154 00:07:14,267 --> 00:07:15,267 Bill! 155 00:07:15,310 --> 00:07:17,437 Frank, I'm not sure we can stay here. 156 00:07:17,520 --> 00:07:19,898 It's fine. Just a little brush with Mother Nature. 157 00:07:19,981 --> 00:07:23,818 Um, Frank. This is a murder cabin. 158 00:07:23,902 --> 00:07:25,278 Oh, for God sakes. 159 00:07:25,362 --> 00:07:28,242 You go back a couple of decades in any house, you're gonna find a murder. 160 00:07:28,281 --> 00:07:31,409 Frank, we can't stay here. My parents only live 40 minutes away. 161 00:07:31,493 --> 00:07:33,703 Oh, no, no, no, no. We're not staying with those people. 162 00:07:33,787 --> 00:07:35,640 We're seeing them on Sunday, that's all I agreed to. 163 00:07:35,664 --> 00:07:37,791 What do you have against my parents? 164 00:07:37,874 --> 00:07:41,419 Sweetheart, I'm decent enough to keep my family far away from us. 165 00:07:41,503 --> 00:07:42,837 Why can't you return the favor? 166 00:07:42,921 --> 00:07:44,506 Because I love my parents. 167 00:07:44,589 --> 00:07:46,967 I can handle your mother. She does it with a smile. 168 00:07:47,050 --> 00:07:49,427 But your dad, he's had it out for me since day one. 169 00:07:49,511 --> 00:07:53,431 Frank, you got his little girl pregnant before she could finish college! 170 00:07:53,515 --> 00:07:54,683 Oh, one thing! 171 00:07:54,766 --> 00:07:58,895 One little fucking thing he's got on me, he just won't let it go! 172 00:07:59,396 --> 00:08:02,315 Mom, I'm getting bit by mosquitos. Can we go inside? 173 00:08:02,399 --> 00:08:03,692 [sighs] 174 00:08:03,775 --> 00:08:05,986 Uh, kids, we're gonna wait for the geese to finish up, 175 00:08:06,069 --> 00:08:08,339 clean the hell out the place, get that Murphy stench on it, 176 00:08:08,363 --> 00:08:10,031 and then our vacation will begin. 177 00:08:10,115 --> 00:08:11,324 [thunder rumbles] 178 00:08:11,408 --> 00:08:12,826 [all groan] 179 00:08:13,410 --> 00:08:15,286 If it comes on quick, it goes away quick. 180 00:08:15,370 --> 00:08:16,579 Trust me, this will pass. 181 00:08:17,080 --> 00:08:18,456 [thunder crashes] 182 00:08:18,540 --> 00:08:19,457 Whoa! 183 00:08:19,541 --> 00:08:21,292 - [geese honking] - It's good for you! 184 00:08:21,376 --> 00:08:23,294 [The Cowsills' "Indian Lake" playing] 185 00:08:23,378 --> 00:08:26,631 ♪ Indian Lake is a scene you should make With your little one ♪ 186 00:08:27,424 --> 00:08:31,094 ♪ Just keep it in mind If you're looking to find ♪ 187 00:08:31,177 --> 00:08:34,097 ♪ A place in the summer sun ♪ 188 00:08:35,348 --> 00:08:39,019 ♪ You can swim in the cove Have a snack in the grove ♪ 189 00:08:39,102 --> 00:08:41,688 ♪ Or you can rent a canoe ♪ 190 00:08:43,064 --> 00:08:48,403 ♪ At Indian Lake you'll be able to make The way the Indians do ♪ 191 00:08:51,990 --> 00:08:53,825 - [ululating] - ♪ Everybody, hey! ♪ 192 00:08:53,908 --> 00:08:58,121 ♪ Indian Lake is a scene you should make With your little... ♪ 193 00:08:58,204 --> 00:09:00,498 [thunder crashes] 194 00:09:02,709 --> 00:09:04,961 - [clang] - Ah! Shit! 195 00:09:06,546 --> 00:09:10,592 God, would it fucking kill you to give me one day of sunshine? 196 00:09:10,675 --> 00:09:13,261 Honestly, would it fucking kill you? 197 00:09:13,344 --> 00:09:15,180 I mean, this is why I don't go to church. 198 00:09:15,263 --> 00:09:18,850 Fucking bullshit stories about some bottomless bag of fish, 199 00:09:18,933 --> 00:09:21,186 some guy walking on water with those stale wafers. 200 00:09:21,269 --> 00:09:23,938 You know, no offense, but your son, he tastes like shit! 201 00:09:24,481 --> 00:09:26,232 [Sue] What are you doing out there? 202 00:09:26,858 --> 00:09:28,401 Oh, just my morning prayers. 203 00:09:29,110 --> 00:09:32,489 It's my last day of vacation for a year, so I'm gonna go out in the fresh air, 204 00:09:32,572 --> 00:09:34,824 I'm gonna smoke half a pack of cigarettes in peace. 205 00:09:36,451 --> 00:09:37,327 Oh, shit. 206 00:09:37,410 --> 00:09:38,703 Hello to you too, Frank. 207 00:09:38,787 --> 00:09:40,580 Mom! Dad! 208 00:09:41,164 --> 00:09:44,918 Oh, sweetheart, look at you. You're glowing. 209 00:09:45,001 --> 00:09:47,420 Oh, that's probably sweat 210 00:09:47,504 --> 00:09:50,423 because Frank won't spring for an air-conditioned hotel room. 211 00:09:50,507 --> 00:09:51,901 [chuckles] That's a good one, Stan. 212 00:09:51,925 --> 00:09:53,968 - [chuckles] Dad. - [laughs] 213 00:09:54,844 --> 00:09:56,346 Oh, here we go. 214 00:09:56,429 --> 00:09:58,598 It's always about how I'm not good enough for you. 215 00:09:58,681 --> 00:10:00,391 Not bringing home the bacon. 216 00:10:00,475 --> 00:10:02,102 Oh, don't be so sensitive. 217 00:10:02,185 --> 00:10:05,063 Who wants to pick money off the Pop-Pop tree? 218 00:10:05,146 --> 00:10:06,272 [Kevin] They're here! 219 00:10:06,356 --> 00:10:07,232 Nanny! Pop-Pop! 220 00:10:07,315 --> 00:10:08,900 - Hey, kiddos! - Here's my darlings! 221 00:10:09,651 --> 00:10:14,948 Uh, pardon me, young man, have you seen my little first-born grandbaby? 222 00:10:15,031 --> 00:10:20,286 Oh, he was certainly not as tall and handsome as you are. 223 00:10:20,703 --> 00:10:22,038 It's me, Nanny. Kevin. 224 00:10:22,122 --> 00:10:24,916 Wow, Pop-Pop! You're rich! 225 00:10:24,999 --> 00:10:28,670 The fruits of properly planning out a family, son. 226 00:10:28,753 --> 00:10:31,756 Sue, I swear to God, if your dad doesn't stop undermining me, 227 00:10:31,840 --> 00:10:34,843 - I'm gonna bring up your brother. - You leave Louis out of this. 228 00:10:34,926 --> 00:10:36,719 Your dad's very successful, Sue. 229 00:10:36,803 --> 00:10:37,803 It's all I have. 230 00:10:43,852 --> 00:10:46,479 Frank Murphy, you handsome devil. 231 00:10:46,938 --> 00:10:48,982 You got all the answers, don't you? 232 00:11:37,155 --> 00:11:38,406 [Maureen] Your turn, Daddy. 233 00:11:38,489 --> 00:11:39,782 Come on, give me an eight. 234 00:11:41,451 --> 00:11:42,744 [all] Ooh. 235 00:11:44,829 --> 00:11:47,457 "Pay mouse catcher 200 dollars." 236 00:11:47,540 --> 00:11:48,750 [groans] 237 00:11:49,542 --> 00:11:51,252 I can cover it for you there, Frank. 238 00:11:51,336 --> 00:11:52,337 No, no. I got it. 239 00:11:52,879 --> 00:11:53,755 Dad! 240 00:11:53,838 --> 00:11:55,215 Pipe down. I'm your ride home. 241 00:11:55,298 --> 00:11:58,885 Speaking of rides, I see you still got that old station wagon out front. 242 00:11:58,968 --> 00:12:01,763 Still making my daughter drive that, huh? 243 00:12:01,846 --> 00:12:03,598 I don't make my wife do anything, Stan. 244 00:12:03,681 --> 00:12:04,807 It's fine, Dad. 245 00:12:04,891 --> 00:12:07,060 Not as nice as the Cadillac I would have bought her 246 00:12:07,143 --> 00:12:09,229 if she'd graduated from college. 247 00:12:09,312 --> 00:12:10,521 But... 248 00:12:10,605 --> 00:12:14,484 Well, Sue's always had to do things her way. 249 00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:17,779 And she got a '69 Ford out of it. 250 00:12:17,862 --> 00:12:20,657 You know what Ford stands for, don't you, kids? [chuckles] 251 00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:24,410 "Fix Or Repair Daily." [laughs] 252 00:12:24,494 --> 00:12:27,247 [both laugh] 253 00:12:27,330 --> 00:12:28,748 Yeah. I don't get it. 254 00:12:28,831 --> 00:12:31,626 Just a little good-natured ribbing, Frank. 255 00:12:31,709 --> 00:12:33,586 Didn't you ever play organized sports? 256 00:12:35,672 --> 00:12:37,340 All right, who wants a steak? 257 00:12:37,882 --> 00:12:40,051 Big thick Appalachian steaks! 258 00:12:40,593 --> 00:12:43,513 Frank, you have a baby on the way. 259 00:12:43,596 --> 00:12:47,558 Do you think you should be wasting your money on T-bones? 260 00:12:47,642 --> 00:12:48,559 [chuckles] 261 00:12:48,643 --> 00:12:51,354 These bloody babies are way better than T-bones. 262 00:12:51,437 --> 00:12:54,023 U-bones! From the best part of the cow. 263 00:12:54,107 --> 00:12:55,483 Right by the bladder. 264 00:12:55,566 --> 00:12:58,736 Frank, the rain is still coming down pretty hard. 265 00:12:58,820 --> 00:13:01,114 Rain makes the fire nice and smoky! 266 00:13:02,031 --> 00:13:02,907 [Frank] Ah, shit. 267 00:13:02,991 --> 00:13:04,117 [wind howling] 268 00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:07,078 We're alone now. You can tell us. 269 00:13:07,161 --> 00:13:09,080 How's your marriage? Really? 270 00:13:09,163 --> 00:13:11,124 Angel, I play golf with the bishop. 271 00:13:11,207 --> 00:13:13,960 For a thousand dollars, he can make it all go away. 272 00:13:14,043 --> 00:13:15,211 [grunting] 273 00:13:15,295 --> 00:13:16,629 Oh, God. 274 00:13:16,713 --> 00:13:17,630 [Frank] Shit! 275 00:13:17,714 --> 00:13:19,424 What's wrong with him? 276 00:13:19,507 --> 00:13:20,883 It's not his fault. 277 00:13:20,967 --> 00:13:22,385 Our whole family's cursed. 278 00:13:22,468 --> 00:13:23,886 I'm going to summer school. 279 00:13:23,970 --> 00:13:25,054 I got no band anymore. 280 00:13:25,138 --> 00:13:27,140 Nobody knows I'm alive. 281 00:13:27,223 --> 00:13:29,642 - It's like I'm not even he... - I lost my girlfriend. 282 00:13:29,726 --> 00:13:30,893 You had a girlfriend? 283 00:13:30,977 --> 00:13:32,478 Bridget Fitzsimmons. 284 00:13:32,562 --> 00:13:34,605 Oh, that fucking psycho? 285 00:13:34,689 --> 00:13:36,149 Yeah. 286 00:13:36,774 --> 00:13:38,860 You really think we're cursed? 287 00:13:38,943 --> 00:13:40,403 [grunting] 288 00:13:45,199 --> 00:13:46,701 Never mind. 289 00:13:47,744 --> 00:13:48,744 What's that, Billy? 290 00:13:48,786 --> 00:13:50,788 You say you like your new dad better? 291 00:13:51,331 --> 00:13:55,168 Well, if you're a good boy today, I'll take you out in the woods with me. 292 00:13:55,251 --> 00:13:56,544 [Evelyn] Goomer? 293 00:13:57,211 --> 00:13:59,172 Uh... Hey, Ev. 294 00:14:00,423 --> 00:14:03,009 Having second thoughts about our marriage? 295 00:14:05,011 --> 00:14:09,474 Goomer, I knew when I married you that you were different. 296 00:14:10,516 --> 00:14:12,518 But you've changed. 297 00:14:13,561 --> 00:14:14,896 How so? 298 00:14:14,979 --> 00:14:16,564 You don't touch me. 299 00:14:16,981 --> 00:14:21,027 And now I find you over here waltzing with an empty wedding dress 300 00:14:21,110 --> 00:14:23,196 and wearing Frank's clothes? 301 00:14:23,738 --> 00:14:25,823 What's going on with you? 302 00:14:25,907 --> 00:14:27,367 [sighs] 303 00:14:27,450 --> 00:14:30,870 Okay. I owe you an explanation. 304 00:14:30,953 --> 00:14:31,953 Sit down. 305 00:14:32,663 --> 00:14:34,832 Honey, the truth is... 306 00:14:37,502 --> 00:14:38,961 these are my clothes. 307 00:14:39,045 --> 00:14:42,840 Frank's been stealing them from me for years. And I miss them. 308 00:14:42,924 --> 00:14:45,843 Why would Frank steal your clothes? 309 00:14:45,927 --> 00:14:47,887 He's a sick man, Ev. 310 00:14:47,970 --> 00:14:50,723 And he said he'd hurt you if I told anyone. 311 00:14:51,099 --> 00:14:53,893 So my silence, and sleeping in the basement, 312 00:14:54,227 --> 00:14:58,398 is an expression of how serious I took our vows on our wedding day, 313 00:14:58,856 --> 00:15:00,817 and also the only thing keeping you safe. 314 00:15:05,780 --> 00:15:10,410 I just knew there had to be some logical explanation for your behavior. 315 00:15:10,493 --> 00:15:12,954 Oh, it feels so good to get the truth out in the open. 316 00:15:13,037 --> 00:15:17,208 So does that mean that we can be romantic again? 317 00:15:17,291 --> 00:15:19,001 Uh... 318 00:15:20,169 --> 00:15:21,169 Yeah. 319 00:15:21,212 --> 00:15:22,922 Oh, Goomie. 320 00:15:23,381 --> 00:15:25,133 [Evelyn] Mwah, mwah. 321 00:15:26,592 --> 00:15:28,428 Oh, my Goomie. 322 00:15:28,511 --> 00:15:29,511 [whimpering] 323 00:15:29,554 --> 00:15:32,140 [Evelyn] Frank's not gonna hurt you anymore. 324 00:15:32,223 --> 00:15:34,267 [wind howling and rain pattering] 325 00:15:34,350 --> 00:15:35,560 This is a great steak. 326 00:15:36,060 --> 00:15:38,229 You would pay nine dollars for this in a restaurant. 327 00:15:38,312 --> 00:15:41,023 I'd pay 50 to have somebody chew it for me. 328 00:15:41,107 --> 00:15:46,070 It's a proud moment when a man can put fine steak on the table for his family. 329 00:15:48,823 --> 00:15:50,158 Congratulations, Frank. 330 00:15:50,241 --> 00:15:52,201 Not everyone can afford a meal like this 331 00:15:52,285 --> 00:15:54,620 with what your president's done to the economy. 332 00:15:54,704 --> 00:15:56,164 He's your president too, Stan. 333 00:15:56,247 --> 00:15:58,291 Oh, I had that Tricky Dick pegged 334 00:15:58,374 --> 00:16:00,376 going all the way back to that debate with Kennedy. 335 00:16:00,460 --> 00:16:03,713 Shifty, unshaven, sweating like a whore in church. 336 00:16:03,796 --> 00:16:06,549 Oh, Kennedy's father stole that election from him. 337 00:16:06,632 --> 00:16:08,843 It should've been Nixon in that limo in Dallas. 338 00:16:08,926 --> 00:16:12,013 They'd be naming airports after him. The guy can't catch a break! 339 00:16:12,096 --> 00:16:14,265 How could you vote for Nixon, anyway, Frank? 340 00:16:14,348 --> 00:16:15,808 You're a union man. 341 00:16:15,892 --> 00:16:17,977 On the rare occasion you do have a job. 342 00:16:18,060 --> 00:16:22,398 In 15 years, I was only out of work for three weeks, Stan. 343 00:16:22,482 --> 00:16:24,025 Oh, my mistake. 344 00:16:24,108 --> 00:16:25,776 It's just that I was sending Sue 345 00:16:25,860 --> 00:16:28,529 a hundred dollars a month until the end of April. 346 00:16:28,613 --> 00:16:30,156 Daddy! I told you not to... 347 00:16:30,239 --> 00:16:32,116 What? You took money from him? 348 00:16:32,200 --> 00:16:34,827 There's plenty left on the Pop-Pop tree, Frank. 349 00:16:34,911 --> 00:16:37,497 - You son of a bitch! - Frank. 350 00:16:37,580 --> 00:16:39,582 I have fucking had it with you! 351 00:16:39,665 --> 00:16:40,958 Buying my kids' love! 352 00:16:41,042 --> 00:16:43,794 Hey, I've never paid for it once in my life! 353 00:16:43,878 --> 00:16:45,588 They love me for me! Right? 354 00:16:47,548 --> 00:16:48,591 Right? 355 00:16:49,258 --> 00:16:51,010 - Say it! - [all] Yes. 356 00:16:51,093 --> 00:16:52,595 That sounded convincing. 357 00:16:52,678 --> 00:16:55,348 Oh, you're father of the year, aren't you, Stan? 358 00:16:55,431 --> 00:16:56,933 At least with your daughter you are. 359 00:16:57,016 --> 00:16:58,100 Frank. 360 00:16:58,184 --> 00:16:59,685 Hey, how's Louis doing? 361 00:16:59,769 --> 00:17:03,481 Oh, that's right, you haven't talked to him in years. 362 00:17:03,564 --> 00:17:04,440 But I know! 363 00:17:04,524 --> 00:17:08,861 He's living a fabulous life in Miami with his roommate Jeremy! 364 00:17:08,945 --> 00:17:10,905 My son is a confirmed bachelor! 365 00:17:10,988 --> 00:17:14,534 Yeah, confirmed by that undercover cop in that bus station bathroom! 366 00:17:14,617 --> 00:17:16,494 You told him about that? 367 00:17:16,577 --> 00:17:18,955 He's my husband. I thought I could trust him. 368 00:17:19,038 --> 00:17:21,457 Grandpa, I think Uncle Louis wears cool shirts. 369 00:17:21,541 --> 00:17:24,418 Well, maybe we should go. 370 00:17:24,877 --> 00:17:27,380 Yes. I know when we're not wanted. 371 00:17:27,463 --> 00:17:30,299 Ha! If you knew that, you would have left five hours ago! 372 00:17:31,133 --> 00:17:33,970 Hey, hey, Stan! You know what Cadillac stands for? 373 00:17:34,470 --> 00:17:36,472 Can't... afford... dick... 374 00:17:36,556 --> 00:17:39,892 in... Lafayette, Louisiana... 375 00:17:41,769 --> 00:17:42,769 Ass-Cunt! 376 00:17:43,312 --> 00:17:45,940 Great. There go the nice people. 377 00:17:46,023 --> 00:17:47,316 I told you, we're cursed. 378 00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:49,402 Oh, for God sake, what's your problem? 379 00:17:49,485 --> 00:17:51,654 I saw the place where I almost died! 380 00:17:51,737 --> 00:17:52,822 Almost! 381 00:17:52,905 --> 00:17:54,949 You're gonna convict me on an almost? 382 00:17:55,032 --> 00:17:58,112 Christ, if you stayed in the stroller like I told you, you would've been fine. 383 00:17:58,160 --> 00:18:00,204 I was strapped into the stroller when it rolled in! 384 00:18:00,288 --> 00:18:02,707 Then take it up with Baby-B-Safe Industries! 385 00:18:02,790 --> 00:18:04,750 They designed that fucking thing, not me! 386 00:18:05,167 --> 00:18:08,004 Look, you can sit around and dwell on what happened 13 years ago 387 00:18:08,087 --> 00:18:09,127 for the rest of your life, 388 00:18:09,171 --> 00:18:11,007 or you can be a man and do something about it! 389 00:18:11,090 --> 00:18:13,759 I am doing something about it now! I'm leaving! 390 00:18:15,011 --> 00:18:16,220 [Kevin] Dick! 391 00:18:16,596 --> 00:18:17,680 [groans] 392 00:18:17,763 --> 00:18:18,806 And what's with you? 393 00:18:18,889 --> 00:18:20,933 You've been whining and moaning since we got here. 394 00:18:21,017 --> 00:18:22,435 This is a vacation, not a funeral! 395 00:18:22,518 --> 00:18:25,146 A funeral for my heart! 396 00:18:25,980 --> 00:18:26,856 [Bill] Dick! 397 00:18:26,939 --> 00:18:28,691 Oh, great. All the kids are gone. 398 00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:30,443 I'm right here. 399 00:18:31,193 --> 00:18:33,112 Oh, sorry, Princess, I didn't notice you. 400 00:18:33,195 --> 00:18:34,989 Nobody does! 401 00:18:35,865 --> 00:18:36,907 [Maureen] Dick. 402 00:18:37,783 --> 00:18:40,286 Don't stray too far from the murder cabin. 403 00:18:42,496 --> 00:18:45,833 Congratulations, Frank, you ran everyone off. 404 00:18:45,916 --> 00:18:47,460 You ruined the vacation. 405 00:18:47,543 --> 00:18:49,211 Oh, so I made it rain. 406 00:18:49,295 --> 00:18:52,340 I told those geese to fuck on the kitchen table. 407 00:18:52,423 --> 00:18:54,925 I hacked up the Van de Camp family in 1926. 408 00:18:55,009 --> 00:18:57,303 All I'm saying is, this whole summer 409 00:18:57,386 --> 00:19:00,056 you've had a shitty attitude to every single person around you, 410 00:19:00,139 --> 00:19:03,017 except for Chet, the chosen one, 411 00:19:03,100 --> 00:19:05,227 who craps golden turds and treats his wife like dirt. 412 00:19:05,311 --> 00:19:08,356 Oh, his wife, who you think is so helpless. 413 00:19:08,439 --> 00:19:09,982 Hey, Susan, news flash, 414 00:19:10,066 --> 00:19:12,610 she survived a fucking war zone without you. 415 00:19:12,693 --> 00:19:15,488 Nguyen-Nguyen is just your latest project to fill up your life 416 00:19:15,571 --> 00:19:17,531 since your Forkoontula went tits up! 417 00:19:18,115 --> 00:19:21,577 You take that back. That was important to me, you son of a... 418 00:19:21,661 --> 00:19:23,704 [groans] 419 00:19:23,788 --> 00:19:24,830 Oh, oh, God. 420 00:19:24,914 --> 00:19:26,624 What is it? Are you in labor? 421 00:19:26,707 --> 00:19:27,917 Is the baby coming? 422 00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:29,710 Frank. Oh! [grunts] 423 00:19:29,794 --> 00:19:31,420 Oh, Christ. It's coming now! 424 00:19:32,505 --> 00:19:34,340 Get on the table and take off your pants! 425 00:19:34,423 --> 00:19:36,425 - Frank, I'm... - It's okay, you're panicking. 426 00:19:36,509 --> 00:19:37,551 I got this! 427 00:19:39,428 --> 00:19:41,514 What the fuck are you doing? 428 00:19:42,098 --> 00:19:44,767 What does it look like? I'm bringing a baby into this world. 429 00:19:46,310 --> 00:19:47,770 [laughs] 430 00:19:47,853 --> 00:19:51,107 You idiot. I'm not having the baby. 431 00:19:51,190 --> 00:19:52,608 Heh-heh, you're not? 432 00:19:52,692 --> 00:19:57,613 No! I got indigestion from that truck tire you called a steak. 433 00:19:57,697 --> 00:19:59,365 I think there was a beak in there. 434 00:19:59,448 --> 00:20:02,618 [chuckles] Well, that's what I get for buying beef at an ostrich farm. 435 00:20:02,702 --> 00:20:05,955 You were gonna deliver a baby with barbecue tongs? 436 00:20:06,038 --> 00:20:07,498 It's safer than the Forkoontula. 437 00:20:07,581 --> 00:20:09,208 [laughs] 438 00:20:09,291 --> 00:20:10,793 That thing sucked. 439 00:20:11,210 --> 00:20:12,378 It did! 440 00:20:12,461 --> 00:20:14,839 [both laugh] 441 00:20:18,592 --> 00:20:22,263 Ooh, come on! You're a ring and a bottle. 442 00:20:22,346 --> 00:20:23,889 Why do you hate each other? 443 00:20:23,973 --> 00:20:26,726 Ah, kid, you'll get them next time. It's easy, see? 444 00:20:27,268 --> 00:20:29,019 [clinking] 445 00:20:33,023 --> 00:20:35,192 Step right up, everybody's a winner! 446 00:20:35,276 --> 00:20:36,944 - [Maureen groans] - Except her. 447 00:20:42,700 --> 00:20:45,077 I'm not gonna let you ruin my life anymore. 448 00:20:45,161 --> 00:20:48,205 Tonight, I un-drown. 449 00:20:48,748 --> 00:20:51,917 Water, get ready to fill your lungs with Kevin. 450 00:20:55,045 --> 00:20:56,045 I can't do it! 451 00:20:57,506 --> 00:20:58,883 [gurgling] 452 00:20:58,966 --> 00:21:01,302 No! Shit! 453 00:21:01,469 --> 00:21:04,221 Shit! I take it back! I take it back! 454 00:21:04,513 --> 00:21:06,015 I was only kidding, water! 455 00:21:12,938 --> 00:21:14,106 [sobs] 456 00:21:14,190 --> 00:21:15,190 Bridget. 457 00:21:15,858 --> 00:21:16,901 Bridget. 458 00:21:18,152 --> 00:21:19,445 Huh? 459 00:21:32,124 --> 00:21:33,667 Farewell, Bridget. 460 00:21:37,797 --> 00:21:38,797 Ah! 461 00:21:38,839 --> 00:21:40,257 [Sue laughs] 462 00:21:41,467 --> 00:21:44,512 And then she said the Forkoontula was worse 463 00:21:44,595 --> 00:21:46,889 than her grandfather bleeding to death! 464 00:21:46,972 --> 00:21:48,516 Well, there's your ad campaign! 465 00:21:48,599 --> 00:21:51,477 [both laugh] 466 00:21:52,061 --> 00:21:54,063 - Oh, Christ. - Oh. 467 00:21:54,563 --> 00:21:55,439 [sighs] 468 00:21:55,523 --> 00:21:56,357 Ah. 469 00:21:56,440 --> 00:21:57,650 We're screwed, aren't we? 470 00:21:57,733 --> 00:21:59,193 Yeah, yeah, we are. 471 00:21:59,777 --> 00:22:02,071 Remember that night after the parade when we both said 472 00:22:02,154 --> 00:22:03,906 we weren't worried about the baby coming? 473 00:22:03,989 --> 00:22:04,865 Yeah. 474 00:22:04,949 --> 00:22:07,284 Well, that was a lot of bullshit, wasn't it? 475 00:22:07,368 --> 00:22:08,244 Yeah. 476 00:22:08,327 --> 00:22:11,914 I tried to finish the wallpaper and spent the whole night crying. 477 00:22:11,997 --> 00:22:15,835 Oh, I know... I watched from the stairs and went back to bed. 478 00:22:16,669 --> 00:22:18,838 - [chuckles] You're an asshole. - I know. 479 00:22:20,256 --> 00:22:21,256 [sighs] 480 00:22:21,298 --> 00:22:23,592 I think throwing myself into the Forkoontula 481 00:22:23,676 --> 00:22:25,356 and getting all involved with Nguyen-Nguyen 482 00:22:25,386 --> 00:22:27,930 was a way of avoiding all my fears about the baby. 483 00:22:28,013 --> 00:22:29,473 I'm guilty too, with Chet. 484 00:22:30,057 --> 00:22:31,785 Hey, but at least he's making that room for us. 485 00:22:31,809 --> 00:22:33,769 You really think he's working on the room? 486 00:22:33,853 --> 00:22:35,980 I do! I'm stupid, remember? 487 00:22:36,063 --> 00:22:38,983 [both laugh] 488 00:22:39,066 --> 00:22:41,819 Oh, Sue, it's so good to laugh with you again. 489 00:22:41,902 --> 00:22:43,529 We're gonna be okay, right? 490 00:22:43,612 --> 00:22:46,073 Sure. We're good parents. 491 00:22:46,448 --> 00:22:50,327 We've got three healthy kids who are doing just fine for themselves. 492 00:22:50,411 --> 00:22:52,663 [babbling and shouting] 493 00:22:54,248 --> 00:22:55,499 [panting] Ah! 494 00:22:59,628 --> 00:23:00,880 [screams] 495 00:23:00,963 --> 00:23:02,339 [Maureen] God damn it! 496 00:23:02,923 --> 00:23:04,592 I hate this game! 497 00:23:05,676 --> 00:23:07,553 Hey, take it easy, this is my house. 498 00:23:08,345 --> 00:23:09,763 - [crying] - Okay, that's it. 499 00:23:09,847 --> 00:23:11,265 We're closed. Run along. 500 00:23:11,807 --> 00:23:13,976 Oh, sure. What do you care? 501 00:23:14,059 --> 00:23:15,686 Nobody wants me around. 502 00:23:15,769 --> 00:23:17,187 And once this new baby comes, 503 00:23:17,271 --> 00:23:19,023 I'm gonna be a middle kid. 504 00:23:19,106 --> 00:23:20,941 I might as well be dead. 505 00:23:21,525 --> 00:23:22,651 Or Bill! 506 00:23:22,735 --> 00:23:25,654 Kid, a stuffed bear ain't gonna solve that. 507 00:23:25,738 --> 00:23:28,782 Especially these ones, they're full of lice and Chinese newspapers. 508 00:23:29,366 --> 00:23:33,579 I don't want a stupid bear. I just want to be noticed! 509 00:23:33,662 --> 00:23:35,539 It's not fair! 510 00:23:37,958 --> 00:23:40,252 You're right. It's not fair. 511 00:23:40,878 --> 00:23:42,838 This game is rigged against you. 512 00:23:42,922 --> 00:23:44,381 Life is rigged. 513 00:23:44,465 --> 00:23:48,218 You think I wanted to be stuck here in this game booth all my life? Hell, no! 514 00:23:48,802 --> 00:23:51,221 I wanted to be over there running the Tilt-A-Whirl. 515 00:23:51,305 --> 00:23:54,350 You get to sit on a stool like a god. 516 00:23:54,433 --> 00:23:56,852 But no, that's Delbert's turf. 517 00:23:57,269 --> 00:23:59,897 His old man handed it down to him. 518 00:23:59,980 --> 00:24:01,357 That's how the world works. 519 00:24:01,440 --> 00:24:04,485 The Jews run the banks and the Delberts run the Tilt-A-Whirl. 520 00:24:05,569 --> 00:24:08,530 It's too late for me. I just turned 17. 521 00:24:08,614 --> 00:24:09,698 Huh? 522 00:24:10,240 --> 00:24:12,117 But you got your whole life ahead of you. 523 00:24:12,201 --> 00:24:14,954 You can do anything you set your sights on. 524 00:24:15,037 --> 00:24:18,958 All I want is to win a ring toss on a TV clown show. 525 00:24:19,041 --> 00:24:20,542 Then you're in luck. 526 00:24:20,626 --> 00:24:23,545 I'm gonna show you how to beat this here rigged game. 527 00:24:23,629 --> 00:24:24,672 Here's the scam. 528 00:24:24,755 --> 00:24:26,966 [grunting] 529 00:24:40,145 --> 00:24:41,063 [coughs] 530 00:24:41,146 --> 00:24:42,189 [panting] 531 00:24:44,149 --> 00:24:45,192 You okay? 532 00:24:45,734 --> 00:24:48,404 You saved me, Dad. And guess what? 533 00:24:48,946 --> 00:24:51,323 I did it. I faced my fear. 534 00:24:51,407 --> 00:24:52,574 Good for you. 535 00:24:53,534 --> 00:24:56,787 Now get out of my pool, you fucking draft dodger. 536 00:24:56,870 --> 00:24:57,870 Thanks, Dad. 537 00:24:58,497 --> 00:25:00,499 That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me. 538 00:25:12,052 --> 00:25:14,221 [clinking] 539 00:25:14,304 --> 00:25:16,223 Ah! 540 00:25:16,306 --> 00:25:17,349 Oh, no! 541 00:25:18,350 --> 00:25:19,893 Ah! 542 00:25:28,944 --> 00:25:29,987 Hey, boy! 543 00:25:30,738 --> 00:25:32,614 Thanks for looking after him, Goom. 544 00:25:32,698 --> 00:25:34,074 My pleasure, Frank. 545 00:25:34,158 --> 00:25:35,617 Enjoy your pants. 546 00:25:36,577 --> 00:25:37,577 I will. 547 00:25:37,870 --> 00:25:38,746 Dad. 548 00:25:38,829 --> 00:25:41,790 Oh, Kevin, don't start. We just had a nice drive home. 549 00:25:41,874 --> 00:25:44,668 I want to tell you I had a life-changing experience last night. 550 00:25:45,502 --> 00:25:47,504 It was like I was baptized... 551 00:25:48,005 --> 00:25:49,006 but with water. 552 00:25:49,673 --> 00:25:51,258 And it made me realize something. 553 00:25:51,842 --> 00:25:53,927 I'm through wasting my life. 554 00:25:54,011 --> 00:25:56,889 I found peace and I'm gonna be a new man. 555 00:25:57,723 --> 00:26:00,809 I love you, and I don't blame you anymore. 556 00:26:01,518 --> 00:26:03,312 What? I'm not buying you a guitar, 557 00:26:03,395 --> 00:26:05,331 and you still have to go to summer school tomorrow. 558 00:26:05,355 --> 00:26:07,316 - Get off me. - [Sue] Frank! Come here! 559 00:26:07,399 --> 00:26:08,901 Oh, Christ. Sue! 560 00:26:08,984 --> 00:26:09,984 Sue, what the hell is... 561 00:26:11,320 --> 00:26:13,197 Want to see your baby's room? 562 00:26:15,574 --> 00:26:18,410 He did it. Chet really did it. 563 00:26:18,869 --> 00:26:22,372 Holy shit, he finished it. What a friend. 564 00:26:24,208 --> 00:26:25,959 All right, God. [chuckles] 565 00:26:26,043 --> 00:26:27,443 You got me back for a little while. 566 00:26:28,670 --> 00:26:31,715 Bill, go to church on Sunday and tell me what happens! 567 00:26:31,799 --> 00:26:33,342 [Bill] Well, what did I do? 568 00:26:43,227 --> 00:26:44,436 No need to thank me. 569 00:26:45,270 --> 00:26:48,065 I'm just a concerned citizen looking out for his community. 570 00:26:48,899 --> 00:26:49,899 My name? 571 00:26:50,984 --> 00:26:52,194 Jimmy Fitzsimmons. 572 00:26:53,654 --> 00:26:56,115 ♪ I love the highway ♪ 573 00:26:56,198 --> 00:26:59,535 ♪ It's the place to be ♪ 574 00:27:00,577 --> 00:27:03,205 ♪ I love the highway ♪ 575 00:27:03,288 --> 00:27:07,042 ♪ From sea to shining sea ♪ 576 00:27:07,835 --> 00:27:11,088 ♪ Bad women drivers on the road ♪ 577 00:27:11,463 --> 00:27:14,174 ♪ Koo-koo Asians going slow ♪ 578 00:27:14,258 --> 00:27:17,469 ♪ It don't bother me ♪ 579 00:27:17,553 --> 00:27:20,347 ♪ Because I've got a gun under my seat ♪ 580 00:27:20,430 --> 00:27:24,101 ♪ And baby I'm free ♪ 581 00:27:24,184 --> 00:27:27,729 ♪ Charlie Chan's played by a white guy ♪ 582 00:27:27,813 --> 00:27:30,274 - [mechanical whirring] - [gunshot]