1
00:00:08,342 --> 00:00:10,594
After consultation
with the Mayor's office,
2
00:00:10,677 --> 00:00:13,931
drunk driving charges were dropped
against Mr. Jeffords.
3
00:00:14,014 --> 00:00:18,268
Police then arrested this bartender
for recklessly serving Jeffords.
4
00:00:18,352 --> 00:00:21,605
- Elston Williams of 635th Street.
- Same soup, different cracker.
5
00:00:21,688 --> 00:00:25,025
In other news, a special election
will be held in the 12th ward
6
00:00:25,108 --> 00:00:27,861
to replace long-term alderman
Edward Morewill,
7
00:00:27,945 --> 00:00:30,906
who resigned in disgrace
after being caught with a prostitute
8
00:00:30,989 --> 00:00:33,659
and naming her pimp
to the Cultural Arts Commission.
9
00:00:34,117 --> 00:00:37,913
That bag of Bisquick never did a single
damn thing for this neighborhood.
10
00:00:37,996 --> 00:00:39,331
He doesn't even live here!
11
00:00:39,414 --> 00:00:40,707
There you go again.
12
00:00:40,791 --> 00:00:44,169
So far, only one candidate is running
to succeed Alderman Morewill:
13
00:00:44,253 --> 00:00:46,672
the Alderman's 18-year-old son, Teddy.
14
00:00:46,755 --> 00:00:51,134
Currently out on bail for petting a dog
improperly and repeatedly.
15
00:00:51,218 --> 00:00:55,347
Great. Another 50 years of someone
who doesn't give a shit about us.
16
00:00:55,430 --> 00:00:57,432
Trash sits on the curb for weeks.
17
00:00:57,516 --> 00:00:59,309
Street signs get stolen.
18
00:00:59,393 --> 00:01:02,145
How's anyone supposed to know
we live on Beaver Boulevard?
19
00:01:02,229 --> 00:01:03,981
Somebody needs to do
something about this!
20
00:01:04,064 --> 00:01:05,232
Well, how about you?
21
00:01:05,816 --> 00:01:06,650
Wha... Wha... What now?
22
00:01:06,733 --> 00:01:09,653
Chauncey, for years you've been
complaining about this neighborhood
23
00:01:09,736 --> 00:01:12,239
and telling me what you'd do
if you ever got a chance.
24
00:01:12,322 --> 00:01:13,782
Well, here's your chance.
25
00:01:13,865 --> 00:01:16,952
You know this community,
and everybody loves and respects you.
26
00:01:17,035 --> 00:01:18,787
You run for alderman.
27
00:01:18,870 --> 00:01:21,081
[stammers] I don't have time for that.
28
00:01:21,164 --> 00:01:23,208
I got a job and three kids to support.
29
00:01:23,292 --> 00:01:24,543
Three kids?
30
00:01:24,626 --> 00:01:26,920
Is Uncle Rosie Jr. my brother?
31
00:01:27,004 --> 00:01:28,797
Ask your father about that.
32
00:01:28,880 --> 00:01:33,010
[sighs] For the last time,
Georgia, I was 17!
33
00:01:33,093 --> 00:01:34,344
She was 35.
34
00:01:34,428 --> 00:01:36,281
It was the Puerto Rican Day Parade,
for God's sakes!
35
00:01:36,305 --> 00:01:37,740
And I'm not getting into this again!
36
00:01:37,764 --> 00:01:39,683
And I'm not running for alderman!
37
00:01:39,766 --> 00:01:41,703
Then I don't want to hear you
complaining anymore!
38
00:01:41,727 --> 00:01:43,353
You won't hear me complaining!
39
00:01:43,437 --> 00:01:47,024
Who she think she talking to?
Saying I complain all the time.
40
00:01:47,107 --> 00:01:50,652
Run for Alderman.
What am I, Adam Clayton fucking Powell?
41
00:01:50,736 --> 00:01:52,988
Like I got 15 dollars
to throw away on a filing fee,
42
00:01:53,071 --> 00:01:56,366
just to lose to some white guy
smelling like wet dog and fried bologna.
43
00:01:56,450 --> 00:01:59,077
Even if I won, like I got time
to write speeches and...
44
00:01:59,161 --> 00:02:01,622
kiss babies, have nightmares
about dropping babies...
45
00:02:01,705 --> 00:02:03,290
ride in an open limousine
46
00:02:03,373 --> 00:02:05,693
'cause I got too much
of an ego to put the bubble top up...
47
00:02:05,751 --> 00:02:09,212
get assassinated by some
crazy motherfucker with three names...
48
00:02:09,296 --> 00:02:13,717
have Cape Canaveral named after me,
pay upkeep for a fucking eternal flame.
49
00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:16,053
Frank, you won't believe
what Georgia wants me to do.
50
00:02:16,136 --> 00:02:19,598
This gate's being redesigned
to make room for our new 747.
51
00:02:19,681 --> 00:02:21,642
So, we got to get
all this equipment out of here.
52
00:02:21,725 --> 00:02:24,203
- I was bitching about my life like I do...
- Just a minute, Rosie.
53
00:02:24,227 --> 00:02:26,581
- Get the dead goose out of there!
- [Carl] We can't, Frank.
54
00:02:26,605 --> 00:02:28,231
It's in so far it's stuck.
55
00:02:28,315 --> 00:02:31,026
Oh, man, that'd be
a great ending line for Fuck School!
56
00:02:31,109 --> 00:02:32,194
Get to the goose!
57
00:02:32,277 --> 00:02:34,154
She's telling me to run for alderman.
58
00:02:34,237 --> 00:02:36,156
- Can you imagine it?
- Yeah, that'd be crazy.
59
00:02:36,239 --> 00:02:38,408
Stick your hand up its ass and pull!
60
00:02:38,909 --> 00:02:40,410
It's not that crazy.
61
00:02:40,494 --> 00:02:43,205
If I did run, I could be
a voice for my neighborhood
62
00:02:43,288 --> 00:02:45,832
and feel like I'm doing
something with my life.
63
00:02:45,916 --> 00:02:49,252
God knows I'll never accomplish
anything at this place.
64
00:02:49,336 --> 00:02:50,879
That's not true.
65
00:02:50,962 --> 00:02:52,923
Look, I know you've had
a rough time here lately,
66
00:02:53,006 --> 00:02:54,758
but once the dust settles, you'll be fine.
67
00:02:54,841 --> 00:02:57,469
Back to the curb, you piece of shit!
68
00:02:57,552 --> 00:02:58,804
His blood sugar's low.
69
00:02:58,887 --> 00:02:59,930
Step aside.
70
00:03:00,347 --> 00:03:02,516
I guess I got to do everything for myself.
71
00:03:03,266 --> 00:03:05,268
You and me both, Frank.
72
00:03:05,644 --> 00:03:06,644
I'll do it.
73
00:03:07,688 --> 00:03:11,149
Please rise
for Alderman Chauncey Roosevelt.
74
00:03:11,233 --> 00:03:14,236
- [Frank] Come on, you goddamn dead...
- [goose squawks]
75
00:03:14,319 --> 00:03:15,570
[Frank] It's alive! It's alive!
76
00:03:15,654 --> 00:03:16,974
Turn it back on! Turn it back on!
77
00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:18,323
Whoa!
78
00:03:18,407 --> 00:03:21,910
[Redbone's
"Come and Get Your Love" playing]
79
00:03:29,126 --> 00:03:31,670
♪ Come and get your love ♪
80
00:03:33,672 --> 00:03:36,466
♪ Come and get your love ♪
81
00:03:38,260 --> 00:03:40,470
♪ Come and get your love ♪
82
00:03:42,305 --> 00:03:44,933
♪ Come and get your love ♪
83
00:03:46,351 --> 00:03:48,353
♪ Come and get your love
Come and get your love ♪
84
00:03:48,437 --> 00:03:49,938
♪ Come and get your love now ♪
85
00:03:51,314 --> 00:03:52,667
♪ Come and get your love
Come and get your love ♪
86
00:03:52,691 --> 00:03:54,359
♪ Come and get your love now ♪
87
00:03:54,443 --> 00:03:55,485
[grunts] Ah!
88
00:03:55,569 --> 00:03:57,255
♪ Come and get your love
Come and get your love ♪
89
00:03:57,279 --> 00:03:59,072
♪ Come and get your love now ♪
90
00:04:00,282 --> 00:04:01,884
♪ Come and get your love
Come and get your love ♪
91
00:04:01,908 --> 00:04:03,869
♪ Come and get your love now ♪
92
00:04:03,952 --> 00:04:05,370
[boom]
93
00:04:11,710 --> 00:04:13,128
[groans]
94
00:04:13,712 --> 00:04:15,005
Bullshit day.
95
00:04:15,088 --> 00:04:16,088
[groans]
96
00:04:17,090 --> 00:04:19,593
One fucking thing after another.
97
00:04:20,594 --> 00:04:22,262
- Jesus Christ!
- [women scream]
98
00:04:22,345 --> 00:04:23,555
Frank, where are your clothes?
99
00:04:23,638 --> 00:04:24,806
They're covered in goose!
100
00:04:25,724 --> 00:04:26,850
Oh, for Christ sake, Sue.
101
00:04:26,933 --> 00:04:29,895
Frank, I told you last night
that I was having the girls over
102
00:04:29,978 --> 00:04:32,415
for a focus group to get feedback
on the new and improved Forkoontula.
103
00:04:32,439 --> 00:04:35,001
But I already invited Chet to come by
and go over the plans for the...
104
00:04:35,025 --> 00:04:36,610
- Shit!
- Dad!
105
00:04:36,693 --> 00:04:39,196
Oh, Christ, Susan,
I just committed a felony!
106
00:04:40,530 --> 00:04:43,033
Your father was in his dainties.
107
00:04:43,116 --> 00:04:45,076
You're seeing Chet? Again?
108
00:04:45,368 --> 00:04:48,830
You want me to kick everyone out so you
can have private time with your boyfriend?
109
00:04:48,914 --> 00:04:50,499
He's not a boy, he's a man.
110
00:04:50,582 --> 00:04:53,343
Maybe if you spent more time around him
you'd know what a real man is.
111
00:04:54,377 --> 00:04:56,171
Tonight is important to me, Frank.
112
00:04:56,254 --> 00:04:59,841
I can't improve the Forkoontula
unless I get honest feedback on it.
113
00:04:59,925 --> 00:05:01,510
Okay, fine.
114
00:05:01,760 --> 00:05:04,429
Me and Chet can look at the plans
out by the garage.
115
00:05:04,513 --> 00:05:05,555
Thank you, honey.
116
00:05:07,682 --> 00:05:09,309
Fifty thousand people in my house.
117
00:05:09,392 --> 00:05:11,232
It's like I'm living
in a fucking bus terminal.
118
00:05:11,311 --> 00:05:12,437
- Fuck!
- [toilet flushing]
119
00:05:12,521 --> 00:05:14,689
That's-a not ragu in there.
120
00:05:16,316 --> 00:05:18,652
♪ Chili dog in your bun ♪
121
00:05:18,735 --> 00:05:21,655
♪ Chili dog, ice in her mouth ♪
122
00:05:21,738 --> 00:05:24,783
♪ Chili dog, she's going down south ♪
123
00:05:27,828 --> 00:05:29,120
Well, that sucked.
124
00:05:29,204 --> 00:05:33,542
Who'd think that coming up with
a new band name would be the easy part?
125
00:05:33,625 --> 00:05:37,045
We're gonna look like ass at that gig
without a guitar player.
126
00:05:37,128 --> 00:05:40,423
Maybe we should've spent more time
finding a replacement for Kevin
127
00:05:40,507 --> 00:05:42,217
and less time on the banner.
128
00:05:42,843 --> 00:05:45,887
- But that's a fucking great banner.
- [glass shatters]
129
00:05:45,971 --> 00:05:46,971
What the fuck?
130
00:05:48,932 --> 00:05:50,600
- [tire squeal]
- [all laughing]
131
00:05:50,684 --> 00:05:54,563
Hell, yes! That's what those jerks get
for not appreciating me.
132
00:05:55,146 --> 00:05:57,649
Wait. We did that for a reason?
133
00:05:57,732 --> 00:06:00,235
[laughs] I love when that happens!
134
00:06:00,318 --> 00:06:01,653
Let's fuck up some more places!
135
00:06:01,736 --> 00:06:03,363
We got a whole case of beer.
136
00:06:03,446 --> 00:06:07,242
And I've got a whole list of people
I want to get back at.
137
00:06:07,325 --> 00:06:09,244
[rock music]
138
00:06:09,327 --> 00:06:10,745
You failed me!
139
00:06:10,829 --> 00:06:12,706
- [cheering and laughing]
- [bottle shatters]
140
00:06:13,290 --> 00:06:15,208
[Kevin] You stopped playing
my weather jingle!
141
00:06:15,292 --> 00:06:16,292
[laughing]
142
00:06:16,334 --> 00:06:18,628
I didn't jizz my pants! It was dick sweat!
143
00:06:21,548 --> 00:06:24,634
You had the best pizza and you ruined it!
144
00:06:25,343 --> 00:06:26,469
[Morehead] Yeah!
145
00:06:26,553 --> 00:06:30,015
Hey! Some people are trying
to have a nice, quiet dinner!
146
00:06:30,098 --> 00:06:32,517
[theme music playing on TV]
147
00:06:32,601 --> 00:06:36,104
Thank you, Paul Lynde and Kiss.
148
00:06:36,187 --> 00:06:39,441
Eighty hours down, 200 to go.
149
00:06:39,524 --> 00:06:41,109
Let's see how much we've raised now.
150
00:06:41,943 --> 00:06:44,154
It went down? How is that possible?
151
00:06:44,237 --> 00:06:45,322
My cut doesn't change.
152
00:06:45,405 --> 00:06:46,740
I'm switching the channel.
153
00:06:46,823 --> 00:06:48,450
No, it's just getting good.
154
00:06:48,533 --> 00:06:50,201
He's really close to going crazy.
155
00:06:50,285 --> 00:06:52,871
At this point last year,
he pulled out his gun
156
00:06:52,954 --> 00:06:56,291
and sang "Bésame Mucho" into the barrel.
157
00:06:56,374 --> 00:06:58,501
You know what? You know what?
158
00:06:58,585 --> 00:07:00,670
You know what? You know what?
159
00:07:00,754 --> 00:07:01,754
[all] What?
160
00:07:01,796 --> 00:07:06,134
There's a girl outside the window
and she's "Mr. Goomering" at us.
161
00:07:08,261 --> 00:07:10,972
Bill, your wife is here.
162
00:07:11,056 --> 00:07:11,890
[Maureen] Ow.
163
00:07:11,973 --> 00:07:12,891
Hey, Bridget.
164
00:07:12,974 --> 00:07:14,434
Hi, Bill.
165
00:07:14,768 --> 00:07:16,937
What are you doing
with this pack of queer-dos?
166
00:07:17,020 --> 00:07:18,146
Come take a walk with me.
167
00:07:18,229 --> 00:07:19,230
Okay.
168
00:07:19,314 --> 00:07:21,441
It's dark out. You just can't leave.
169
00:07:21,524 --> 00:07:23,485
Watch me. Whoa!
170
00:07:23,568 --> 00:07:24,444
Bill, wait!
171
00:07:24,527 --> 00:07:25,862
We talked about this.
172
00:07:25,946 --> 00:07:27,030
I know.
173
00:07:27,113 --> 00:07:31,076
I just wanted to say you and Bridget
have my blessing,
174
00:07:31,534 --> 00:07:33,370
best boyfriend.
175
00:07:34,162 --> 00:07:34,996
Thanks.
176
00:07:35,080 --> 00:07:38,333
Are you two gonna slurp ass,
or are we taking a walk?
177
00:07:40,043 --> 00:07:42,337
She swears worse than my dad.
178
00:07:42,420 --> 00:07:44,047
[Bridget] Suck a dick!
179
00:07:44,756 --> 00:07:46,609
Sorry we have to be out here
with the mosquitos.
180
00:07:46,633 --> 00:07:47,467
[chuckles]
181
00:07:47,550 --> 00:07:49,594
I didn't realize Sue
was having the whole town over.
182
00:07:49,678 --> 00:07:51,221
[chuckles] I get it, pal.
183
00:07:51,596 --> 00:07:52,889
My first wife was American.
184
00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:55,433
It's so much easier now.
185
00:07:55,517 --> 00:07:57,560
Even when she talks back,
I can't understand her.
186
00:07:57,644 --> 00:07:58,937
It's true, you can't!
187
00:07:59,938 --> 00:08:01,147
All right,
188
00:08:01,231 --> 00:08:03,566
let's build a room
for that little accident of yours.
189
00:08:03,650 --> 00:08:04,985
I expanded the plan a little
190
00:08:05,068 --> 00:08:08,446
so now you can fit a crib
and a changing table in there.
191
00:08:08,530 --> 00:08:10,907
This will be
Sue's little dream workstation,
192
00:08:10,991 --> 00:08:13,702
so she don't have to change
the shit diapers on her knees.
193
00:08:13,785 --> 00:08:16,246
- Sue's gonna really love it here...
- I smell cigars!
194
00:08:16,329 --> 00:08:17,914
And I smell fresh blood.
195
00:08:17,998 --> 00:08:18,915
Oh, great.
196
00:08:18,999 --> 00:08:21,126
- Hi, fellas!
- What's going on, Frank?
197
00:08:21,209 --> 00:08:22,877
Sue run you out of the house? [chuckles]
198
00:08:22,961 --> 00:08:25,839
I guess we know
who wears the pants in this family.
199
00:08:25,922 --> 00:08:27,424
I wear the pants!
200
00:08:27,799 --> 00:08:31,052
Well, Sue wears pants too. But they're
lady pants, not decision-making pants.
201
00:08:31,136 --> 00:08:32,303
And if you don't mind,
202
00:08:32,387 --> 00:08:34,806
Chet and me are working
on the plans for the baby room
203
00:08:34,889 --> 00:08:36,808
- and we're gonna...
- Ah, the blessed event.
204
00:08:36,891 --> 00:08:39,602
You know, I got
a bunch of baby booties in my basement.
205
00:08:39,686 --> 00:08:40,854
Never worn.
206
00:08:40,937 --> 00:08:43,148
We thought Ev was pregnant. [chuckles]
207
00:08:43,231 --> 00:08:45,942
It, uh... it was just food poisoning.
208
00:08:46,026 --> 00:08:47,777
Thanks, but we don't need baby shoes.
209
00:08:47,861 --> 00:08:48,903
I wasn't offering.
210
00:08:50,447 --> 00:08:53,742
- Look, Chet and I were just...
- Do I see enjoyment of life occurring?
211
00:08:53,825 --> 00:08:54,826
You guys mind?
212
00:08:54,909 --> 00:08:56,549
This is just a Chet and me kind of thing.
213
00:08:56,578 --> 00:08:58,955
Hey, all right! A cul-de-sac party!
214
00:08:59,039 --> 00:09:01,583
Say, Frank, you need spoons
for when baby comes?
215
00:09:01,666 --> 00:09:04,335
I got a case of little spoons,
with necklaces attached.
216
00:09:04,419 --> 00:09:05,462
Might be adorable.
217
00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:07,672
We're fine, Vic. Look, guys,
218
00:09:07,756 --> 00:09:09,942
- Chet and I have work to do.
- You must be Chet the Jet!
219
00:09:09,966 --> 00:09:11,426
Hey, I love that Corvette of yours.
220
00:09:11,509 --> 00:09:14,262
Sixty-nine, no catalytic converter.
221
00:09:14,345 --> 00:09:15,972
Those are for commies and hippie freaks.
222
00:09:16,056 --> 00:09:19,142
Well, that's a three-way I could get into.
Take a lot of diplomacy.
223
00:09:19,225 --> 00:09:20,935
[all laugh]
224
00:09:21,019 --> 00:09:22,896
Fellas, Chet and I
have to get back to work...
225
00:09:22,979 --> 00:09:24,939
Why don't you grab a chair
and join us, Vic?
226
00:09:25,023 --> 00:09:26,983
I'll join the shit out of you!
227
00:09:27,067 --> 00:09:28,943
- [Vic] Hey, hey, hey, hey!
- [Chet laughs]
228
00:09:29,527 --> 00:09:31,654
Thank you all for coming.
229
00:09:31,738 --> 00:09:33,948
And, Nguyen-Nguyen,
thank you for the shrimp mold.
230
00:09:34,032 --> 00:09:37,660
I learn from Julia Child. He great man.
231
00:09:38,203 --> 00:09:42,040
Vivian and I think the Forkoontula
can still be a big hit.
232
00:09:42,457 --> 00:09:46,086
You've had the new, improved and heavier
prototype for a couple of days now.
233
00:09:46,878 --> 00:09:49,339
And you've spent
some quality time with it.
234
00:09:49,422 --> 00:09:50,757
We'd love to know what you think.
235
00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:54,719
Pick up your bell when you have
something to add and chime in.
236
00:09:54,803 --> 00:09:55,845
Pun intended.
237
00:09:55,929 --> 00:09:58,556
And fun intended.
238
00:10:01,893 --> 00:10:03,353
Told you it wasn't funny.
239
00:10:03,436 --> 00:10:05,146
Okay! Ring those bells.
240
00:10:06,064 --> 00:10:07,482
Please don't be shy.
241
00:10:08,942 --> 00:10:14,823
Um... Well, it's still not...
What's the word? Good.
242
00:10:14,906 --> 00:10:16,157
[bell rings]
243
00:10:16,241 --> 00:10:18,910
It's ungainly, it's complicated,
244
00:10:18,993 --> 00:10:21,246
the handle looks exactly like the knife,
245
00:10:21,329 --> 00:10:23,915
and it was just frustrating to use it.
246
00:10:24,457 --> 00:10:28,920
Don't mind her. That's just
the cobwebs in her gagooch talking.
247
00:10:29,963 --> 00:10:32,632
Thank you. And what did you think of it?
248
00:10:32,715 --> 00:10:34,092
It's a piece of shit!
249
00:10:34,175 --> 00:10:37,804
I wouldn't use it to clean out
the cobwebs in her gagooch.
250
00:10:37,887 --> 00:10:41,266
- Ooh.
- Well, that was certainly honest.
251
00:10:41,349 --> 00:10:42,392
Anyone else?
252
00:10:43,351 --> 00:10:45,520
It brought me back to my childhood.
253
00:10:45,603 --> 00:10:47,313
That's wonderful!
254
00:10:47,397 --> 00:10:49,232
"Evokes pleasant memories."
255
00:10:49,315 --> 00:10:52,485
When I used it
to slice ham for Babe's lunch,
256
00:10:52,569 --> 00:10:56,739
it reminded me of being a little girl
in my grandfather's butcher shop.
257
00:10:57,115 --> 00:10:59,409
We called him Opa Gunther.
258
00:10:59,492 --> 00:11:03,079
One day Gunther wasn't paying attention
while breaking down a pig.
259
00:11:03,538 --> 00:11:06,791
He cut into his hand so deep.
260
00:11:06,875 --> 00:11:09,085
The blood was everywhere,
261
00:11:09,169 --> 00:11:11,671
and I was too little to reach
for the phone.
262
00:11:12,297 --> 00:11:14,716
He died holding onto me.
263
00:11:16,092 --> 00:11:17,635
This thing was worse than that.
264
00:11:21,472 --> 00:11:22,849
These woods are pretty dark.
265
00:11:22,932 --> 00:11:24,309
Isn't it the balls?
266
00:11:24,392 --> 00:11:26,186
[chuckles] Yeah.
267
00:11:26,269 --> 00:11:27,353
[knocking]
268
00:11:27,437 --> 00:11:29,230
Ah! What the hell was that?
269
00:11:29,314 --> 00:11:32,192
♪ Ha, ha, ha, you and me ♪
270
00:11:32,275 --> 00:11:35,320
♪ Little brown jug how I love thee ♪
271
00:11:35,403 --> 00:11:37,030
Oh, my brother!
272
00:11:37,113 --> 00:11:39,908
He's rebuilding
his shit-ass, old, dumb fort.
273
00:11:39,991 --> 00:11:42,285
Soon, like the mighty phoenix,
274
00:11:42,368 --> 00:11:44,454
you will rise from your ashes.
275
00:11:44,537 --> 00:11:46,956
And I will beat off inside of you.
276
00:11:47,248 --> 00:11:49,083
♪ Frère Jacques ♪
277
00:11:49,167 --> 00:11:50,752
He told me to stay away from you.
278
00:11:51,294 --> 00:11:53,463
Maybe because I was the one
that blew his fort up.
279
00:11:53,546 --> 00:11:56,424
Holy shit, that was you?
280
00:11:56,507 --> 00:11:58,593
Plus I got him sent to military school.
281
00:11:58,676 --> 00:12:00,428
You're so boss!
282
00:12:00,511 --> 00:12:02,430
Jimmy told me when he was in there,
283
00:12:02,513 --> 00:12:06,476
he had to shower with duct tape
over his butthole.
284
00:12:06,559 --> 00:12:08,353
[laughing]
285
00:12:09,896 --> 00:12:11,165
[Nuber] When we run out of shit to do,
286
00:12:11,189 --> 00:12:13,942
we like to come down here,
put stuff on the tracks,
287
00:12:14,025 --> 00:12:15,902
and watch the trains squash it.
288
00:12:15,985 --> 00:12:17,237
I've done that with coins.
289
00:12:17,612 --> 00:12:19,322
Smushed a Kennedy half dollar once.
290
00:12:19,405 --> 00:12:20,949
Yeah, we used to do that.
291
00:12:21,032 --> 00:12:22,158
What do you do now?
292
00:12:22,242 --> 00:12:24,202
[train whistle blows]
293
00:12:25,370 --> 00:12:27,121
- [all] Whoo!
- [Kevin laughs]
294
00:12:27,705 --> 00:12:28,623
That was great!
295
00:12:28,706 --> 00:12:31,125
Oh, we're just getting started!
296
00:12:31,209 --> 00:12:33,127
[Leo Delibes' "The Flower Duet" playing]
297
00:13:01,739 --> 00:13:03,199
[record scratches]
298
00:13:03,908 --> 00:13:04,951
[moos]
299
00:13:05,034 --> 00:13:06,202
Oh, shit.
300
00:13:08,037 --> 00:13:09,247
Well, Chet, it's been real,
301
00:13:09,330 --> 00:13:11,499
but I better go home
and feed the fish in my waterbed
302
00:13:11,582 --> 00:13:12,851
or they'll keep me up all night.
303
00:13:12,875 --> 00:13:14,252
- No, stay.
- The night is young.
304
00:13:14,335 --> 00:13:15,169
You look great!
305
00:13:15,253 --> 00:13:17,880
- Okay, good night, Vic.
- I got a flight lesson in the morning.
306
00:13:17,964 --> 00:13:20,300
- What?
- You're learning to fly?
307
00:13:20,383 --> 00:13:22,760
Chuck's teaching me.
You know Chuck? Chuck Yeager?
308
00:13:22,844 --> 00:13:24,595
They're letting me do
all 40 hours in a row.
309
00:13:25,138 --> 00:13:27,390
I get into shit! [laughs]
310
00:13:27,473 --> 00:13:29,309
This calls for a celebration.
311
00:13:29,392 --> 00:13:31,519
Frank, grab us some more beers, would you?
312
00:13:31,602 --> 00:13:32,602
My pleasure.
313
00:13:33,896 --> 00:13:37,650
Fucking golden-headed dream stealer.
Chet is my friend.
314
00:13:37,734 --> 00:13:39,712
- We're veterans, we should be talking.
- They sit there and put me down.
315
00:13:39,736 --> 00:13:41,463
- But Vic's the belle of the ball.
- Evelyn can't make a baby.
316
00:13:41,487 --> 00:13:42,881
- I've done it four times.
- Surfer beatnik.
317
00:13:42,905 --> 00:13:45,783
[both mutter]
Work my ass off, nobody appreciates me.
318
00:13:47,535 --> 00:13:51,039
Think of Timmy and give,
because sometimes a man's got to...
319
00:13:51,122 --> 00:13:52,332
Aw, damn it.
320
00:13:52,415 --> 00:13:54,208
Janice, you said it wouldn't touch me!
321
00:13:54,292 --> 00:13:56,377
There's got to be
something better to watch.
322
00:13:57,920 --> 00:13:58,920
The deadline to file...
323
00:13:59,380 --> 00:14:01,692
- Another cartoon in a minute.
- [Phillip and Anthony] Hobo Jojo!
324
00:14:01,716 --> 00:14:03,134
That show's for babies.
325
00:14:03,551 --> 00:14:07,930
One year ago, at the Houston Astrodome,
Billie Jean King defeated Bobby Riggs
326
00:14:08,014 --> 00:14:09,724
in a tennis match for the ages:
327
00:14:09,807 --> 00:14:11,434
The Battle of the Sexes.
328
00:14:11,517 --> 00:14:12,852
[giggles]
329
00:14:12,935 --> 00:14:16,856
He should have said
Battle of the Doobies.
330
00:14:16,939 --> 00:14:17,815
[both giggle]
331
00:14:17,899 --> 00:14:19,484
Shut up! This is interesting.
332
00:14:19,567 --> 00:14:22,278
That was followed
by more battles of sexes:
333
00:14:22,362 --> 00:14:24,405
ping pong, bowling, tavern darts,
334
00:14:24,489 --> 00:14:26,532
log rolling, Greco-Roman wrestling.
335
00:14:26,616 --> 00:14:30,787
And tonight, A.B.S. brings you
the most exciting, electrifying,
336
00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:33,956
exhilarating competition
the world has ever seen.
337
00:14:34,040 --> 00:14:36,959
The Battle of the Sexes: Jai Alai!
338
00:14:37,043 --> 00:14:38,252
Am I pronouncing that right?
339
00:14:38,336 --> 00:14:40,088
Excelsior!
340
00:14:40,171 --> 00:14:41,171
You like this?
341
00:14:41,214 --> 00:14:45,510
Love it! I subscribe to
Jai Alai-Lights For Children magazine.
342
00:14:45,593 --> 00:14:50,014
Tonight's match pits the legendary
Johnny "The Savvy Spaniard" Barcelona
343
00:14:50,098 --> 00:14:51,849
against Bonnie Jo Dumont,
344
00:14:51,933 --> 00:14:54,977
golf champ turned lady jai alai thing.
345
00:14:57,397 --> 00:15:00,858
I'm not saying the two things are related,
346
00:15:00,942 --> 00:15:03,444
but my dog died yesterday.
347
00:15:03,945 --> 00:15:07,240
It looks like shrapnel, but not shrapnel.
348
00:15:07,824 --> 00:15:09,492
The heebs are ruining Hollywood.
349
00:15:09,575 --> 00:15:12,829
Okay. You can stop ringing now.
350
00:15:13,121 --> 00:15:14,997
Vivian, where are you going?
351
00:15:15,081 --> 00:15:18,709
Sue, we tried. Oh, we really did.
352
00:15:19,335 --> 00:15:20,169
But it's over.
353
00:15:20,253 --> 00:15:21,754
You're quitting?
354
00:15:21,838 --> 00:15:23,714
There's nothing to quit.
355
00:15:23,798 --> 00:15:27,093
I bankrupted myself to help
put our company together,
356
00:15:27,176 --> 00:15:28,636
but now it's over.
357
00:15:28,719 --> 00:15:30,054
Well, what will we do?
358
00:15:30,138 --> 00:15:32,723
I'm a strong, modern woman.
359
00:15:32,807 --> 00:15:34,851
I'm gonna go to Plast-A-Ware tomorrow,
360
00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:38,062
march right up to Tracy,
look him dead in the eye,
361
00:15:38,146 --> 00:15:41,607
and tell him I'm carrying his child,
and that I'm gonna have it
362
00:15:41,691 --> 00:15:44,318
unless he gives me my job back.
363
00:15:44,819 --> 00:15:46,487
I suggest you do the same.
364
00:15:59,500 --> 00:16:00,501
Want one?
365
00:16:00,585 --> 00:16:03,629
Uh, okay.
I've never had a cigarette before.
366
00:16:03,713 --> 00:16:05,006
Just the candy kind.
367
00:16:05,590 --> 00:16:08,551
This is candy. Lung candy.
368
00:16:12,805 --> 00:16:15,975
You ever think about how you're gonna die?
369
00:16:16,058 --> 00:16:19,604
It's probably gonna be
my dad putting me through a fucking wall.
370
00:16:19,687 --> 00:16:21,230
Aw.
371
00:16:21,314 --> 00:16:23,691
He sounds like a real cocksucker.
372
00:16:23,774 --> 00:16:25,401
[both laugh]
373
00:16:25,985 --> 00:16:27,862
My money's on me getting shot.
374
00:16:30,364 --> 00:16:31,782
Uh...
375
00:16:31,866 --> 00:16:33,367
Are we really gonna kill this thing?
376
00:16:33,451 --> 00:16:35,620
They kill cows to get the milk you drink!
377
00:16:35,703 --> 00:16:37,622
Where did you think that came from?
378
00:16:38,331 --> 00:16:40,082
From its four dicks?
379
00:16:40,166 --> 00:16:41,542
[distant train whistle blows]
380
00:16:41,626 --> 00:16:44,212
[laughs] Oh, man, the train is coming!
381
00:16:44,295 --> 00:16:45,129
We can't do this!
382
00:16:45,213 --> 00:16:46,589
We're already doing it.
383
00:16:46,672 --> 00:16:48,466
No, no, no, no! It's a living thing!
384
00:16:48,549 --> 00:16:49,926
Not for long!
385
00:16:50,009 --> 00:16:53,221
No! This is crazy!
I don't want to be a part of this!
386
00:16:53,304 --> 00:16:55,723
It's just a sweet little moo-cow!
387
00:16:55,806 --> 00:16:58,309
[all laugh]
388
00:17:00,436 --> 00:17:01,979
We're just fucking with you!
389
00:17:02,063 --> 00:17:03,814
We don't believe in bovicide.
390
00:17:03,898 --> 00:17:05,149
Come on, girl.
391
00:17:05,233 --> 00:17:06,234
[chuckles]
392
00:17:06,317 --> 00:17:09,529
Oh, man. You guys are such assholes!
393
00:17:09,612 --> 00:17:11,572
- You really had...
- [train whistle blows loudly]
394
00:17:14,158 --> 00:17:15,618
[all] Oh, shit!
395
00:17:16,202 --> 00:17:17,620
My dream is dead.
396
00:17:18,120 --> 00:17:20,498
It's... It's gone.
397
00:17:21,207 --> 00:17:23,042
[Evelyn] Look on the bright side, Sue.
398
00:17:23,125 --> 00:17:26,921
At least now you know it was
a mistake to try to have a career.
399
00:17:27,463 --> 00:17:29,549
The heartbreak is too much.
400
00:17:29,632 --> 00:17:32,677
That's why Goomer and I
never tried to have another baby.
401
00:17:32,760 --> 00:17:36,097
[whimpers] He still tells everyone
it was food poisoning.
402
00:17:37,265 --> 00:17:39,642
I know you very sad, Sue,
403
00:17:39,725 --> 00:17:42,937
but think of Forkoontula like Vietnam.
404
00:17:43,020 --> 00:17:45,898
When everything you love is on fire,
405
00:17:45,982 --> 00:17:49,860
maybe the person who started the fire
will pluck you out.
406
00:17:50,236 --> 00:17:52,947
If I can have fresh start, so can you.
407
00:17:53,531 --> 00:17:54,949
I'm not so sure.
408
00:17:55,032 --> 00:17:56,659
[children cheering]
409
00:17:57,201 --> 00:17:58,202
What the hell?
410
00:17:58,286 --> 00:18:00,454
[Dave]
Another point for Bonnie Jo!
411
00:18:00,538 --> 00:18:03,082
[Ernie] Check this little lady
for chest hair and a jockstrap!
412
00:18:03,165 --> 00:18:04,792
Go, Bonnie Jo!
413
00:18:04,875 --> 00:18:07,336
She's wiping the fronton with him.
414
00:18:08,379 --> 00:18:10,798
- What are you watching in here?
- Sex battle!
415
00:18:10,881 --> 00:18:14,385
[Ernie] They said Bonnie Jo was
finished when she blew a seven-stroke lead
416
00:18:14,468 --> 00:18:17,096
on the last hole of
the Nancy Kulp Invitational.
417
00:18:17,638 --> 00:18:19,432
Her confidence was gone.
418
00:18:19,515 --> 00:18:21,142
She thought she'd never compete again.
419
00:18:21,225 --> 00:18:23,853
The world wrote her off as a has-been.
420
00:18:23,936 --> 00:18:29,150
But now she's making an
epic comeback in this other almost sport.
421
00:18:29,233 --> 00:18:30,484
Go get them, girl!
422
00:18:30,568 --> 00:18:32,903
Oh, you'll see
when you're up there in the sky, Vic.
423
00:18:33,487 --> 00:18:36,657
You'll feel like you can reach up
and tickle God's balls.
424
00:18:36,741 --> 00:18:38,534
Oh, man, I hope he returns the favor.
425
00:18:38,618 --> 00:18:40,411
I'll bet he's got long fingers.
426
00:18:40,494 --> 00:18:41,996
Chet's giving me lessons.
427
00:18:42,079 --> 00:18:44,206
We flew in his jet, and I run an airport.
428
00:18:44,290 --> 00:18:46,917
I got to tell you, Chet,
it's an honor to meet a real hero.
429
00:18:47,501 --> 00:18:51,380
- Vic, in my book, you're the hero.
- He said I was the hero.
430
00:18:51,464 --> 00:18:53,257
You've got what I've always wanted:
431
00:18:53,341 --> 00:18:56,636
no wife and kids holding you back,
nothing tying you down.
432
00:18:57,011 --> 00:18:58,179
You're chasing the dream.
433
00:18:58,262 --> 00:18:59,847
He said he wanted a wife and kids.
434
00:18:59,930 --> 00:19:02,266
You got to come down
to the Air Force base sometime.
435
00:19:02,350 --> 00:19:03,351
I'll show you around.
436
00:19:03,434 --> 00:19:04,977
I would love that, Chet.
437
00:19:05,061 --> 00:19:07,897
I'll buy you a T-bone
at the Officers' Club.
438
00:19:07,980 --> 00:19:10,524
[Vic and Chet laugh]
439
00:19:10,608 --> 00:19:11,942
[Chet] Oh, we're gonna be pals.
440
00:19:12,526 --> 00:19:16,280
You can't be pals with him, Chet.
You're a soldier, a man of war.
441
00:19:16,364 --> 00:19:18,074
Vic would never hurt a fly.
442
00:19:18,157 --> 00:19:21,202
He made me get a color television
and he's a drug addict.
443
00:19:21,285 --> 00:19:24,038
He has parties where midgets
fuck on other people's cars!
444
00:19:24,622 --> 00:19:26,540
I can't deny any of that.
445
00:19:26,624 --> 00:19:29,001
You're whining
like a little war orphan there, Frank.
446
00:19:29,085 --> 00:19:31,253
No I'm not, you are!
447
00:19:31,337 --> 00:19:33,089
What the hell did I do?
448
00:19:34,090 --> 00:19:35,383
That you know about?
449
00:19:39,136 --> 00:19:42,932
Well, fellas, sounds
like we better call it a night.
450
00:19:43,015 --> 00:19:44,141
Oh, are you sure?
451
00:19:44,684 --> 00:19:47,395
You're being a real bummer, Frank.
452
00:19:49,146 --> 00:19:50,648
[Sue] Oh, no! Oh, no!
453
00:19:50,731 --> 00:19:51,982
[screaming]
454
00:19:52,066 --> 00:19:53,526
Sue! Sue!
455
00:19:54,110 --> 00:19:56,028
Sue, is everything... What the fuck?
456
00:19:56,112 --> 00:19:57,780
[all cheering]
457
00:19:57,863 --> 00:20:00,199
Daddy, a lady is beating a man!
458
00:20:00,282 --> 00:20:02,118
I don't have time to watch cartoons.
459
00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:04,954
It's sports. Come on in
and watch with us.
460
00:20:05,037 --> 00:20:07,039
Christ, Sue. I've had a hell of a...
461
00:20:07,123 --> 00:20:08,874
Now this looks like a party.
462
00:20:08,958 --> 00:20:10,668
Yeah. Yeah, it is, Chet.
463
00:20:10,751 --> 00:20:12,962
We'll all watch together and have fun!
464
00:20:13,045 --> 00:20:14,296
Have another beer!
465
00:20:14,380 --> 00:20:15,380
Make some room, kid.
466
00:20:15,840 --> 00:20:16,882
Ow!
467
00:20:16,966 --> 00:20:18,217
[train whistle blows]
468
00:20:18,300 --> 00:20:20,594
Come on, you stupid cow.
469
00:20:20,678 --> 00:20:21,887
We're trying to save you.
470
00:20:21,971 --> 00:20:24,432
- Kevin, get out of there!
- No!
471
00:20:25,266 --> 00:20:26,308
[moos in pain]
472
00:20:26,392 --> 00:20:27,392
Ah!
473
00:20:31,981 --> 00:20:33,858
Kevin, you're a fucking hero!
474
00:20:33,941 --> 00:20:35,401
Kevin Murphy!
475
00:20:35,484 --> 00:20:37,236
[all] Kevin Murphy!
476
00:20:37,319 --> 00:20:38,779
Kevin Murphy!
477
00:20:38,863 --> 00:20:40,573
Kevin Murphy!
478
00:20:40,656 --> 00:20:42,408
Kevin Murphy!
479
00:20:42,491 --> 00:20:44,535
[cow moans]
480
00:20:45,578 --> 00:20:46,662
[moos]
481
00:20:46,746 --> 00:20:49,081
[tiger growls]
482
00:20:49,165 --> 00:20:51,667
[all gasp]
483
00:20:51,751 --> 00:20:54,420
[Ernie]
And a vicious smash by the Spaniard!
484
00:20:54,503 --> 00:20:56,303
- Yeah! That's the one!
- There you go, buddy!
485
00:20:56,380 --> 00:20:58,299
Kill that man, sports lady!
486
00:20:58,883 --> 00:21:01,177
Hey, that gal is pretty good
with that basket doodad.
487
00:21:01,260 --> 00:21:02,928
It's called a cesta.
488
00:21:03,012 --> 00:21:04,096
It's called a cesta, Chet.
489
00:21:04,180 --> 00:21:06,015
Every platoon needs a weirdo.
490
00:21:06,098 --> 00:21:07,349
You're all right, Phillip.
491
00:21:07,433 --> 00:21:08,434
[laughs nervously]
492
00:21:09,018 --> 00:21:10,162
[under breath] Little motherfucker.
493
00:21:10,186 --> 00:21:11,520
♪ It's what you've got ♪
494
00:21:11,604 --> 00:21:13,790
[Pete Dello and Friends'
"It's What You've Got" playing]
495
00:21:13,814 --> 00:21:16,567
♪ It's what you've got ♪
496
00:21:16,650 --> 00:21:19,195
♪ It's what you've got ♪
497
00:21:19,695 --> 00:21:23,115
♪ It's what you've got ♪
498
00:21:23,949 --> 00:21:28,788
♪ True love is ♪
499
00:21:30,206 --> 00:21:34,668
♪ True love is ♪
500
00:21:34,752 --> 00:21:36,378
♪ Oh ♪
501
00:21:36,462 --> 00:21:39,423
♪ It don't matter what you do ♪
502
00:21:39,507 --> 00:21:42,134
♪ It don't matter what you say ♪
503
00:21:42,218 --> 00:21:44,804
♪ But hold on, my friend ♪
504
00:21:44,887 --> 00:21:45,721
[coughing]
505
00:21:45,805 --> 00:21:48,390
♪ Hold on, my friend ♪
506
00:21:48,474 --> 00:21:51,727
♪ And it don't matter if you're right ♪
507
00:21:51,811 --> 00:21:54,647
♪ And it don't matter if you're wrong ♪
508
00:21:54,730 --> 00:21:57,483
♪ But hold on, my friend ♪
509
00:21:57,566 --> 00:21:58,692
What the fuck?
510
00:21:59,276 --> 00:22:00,528
They're tied again, I think!
511
00:22:00,611 --> 00:22:04,240
- Come on, Spaniard! Pound that señorita!
- The woman gonna win it!
512
00:22:04,323 --> 00:22:06,075
You mean the man might let her win.
513
00:22:06,158 --> 00:22:07,243
[chuckles] Good one, Chet!
514
00:22:07,326 --> 00:22:09,453
- Let her win it!
- Sexist pig!
515
00:22:09,537 --> 00:22:12,164
Why don't you men put your money
where your mouth is?
516
00:22:12,248 --> 00:22:14,458
When you ladies put your mouths
where our money is!
517
00:22:14,542 --> 00:22:17,086
- [men laugh]
- Oh, yeah!
518
00:22:17,169 --> 00:22:18,629
I don't even know what that means!
519
00:22:18,712 --> 00:22:22,091
Okay, okay, ten bucks says the man wins.
Who wants that action?
520
00:22:22,174 --> 00:22:25,636
Doing all the housework
for the rest of the week says she wins!
521
00:22:25,719 --> 00:22:28,305
- [overlapping chatter]
- Getting on topic now.
522
00:22:28,389 --> 00:22:30,015
- Good girl.
- My money's on the filly!
523
00:22:30,099 --> 00:22:32,852
Whoa! You cheering for the enemy, soldier?
524
00:22:32,935 --> 00:22:34,895
Chet, beauty's never been my enemy.
525
00:22:34,979 --> 00:22:37,731
Chet... Oh, Chet, maybe we should call him
"Vic the Chick!"
526
00:22:37,815 --> 00:22:40,484
[all laugh]
527
00:22:40,568 --> 00:22:41,402
Good one, Frank.
528
00:22:41,485 --> 00:22:42,528
You can use it!
529
00:22:42,903 --> 00:22:44,655
Chet said it was a good one, Vic.
530
00:22:44,738 --> 00:22:45,906
[chuckles] Yeah, it was.
531
00:22:45,990 --> 00:22:47,366
You're damn right it was.
532
00:22:47,449 --> 00:22:49,076
That's just what I said.
533
00:22:49,159 --> 00:22:50,160
No, I said it.
534
00:22:50,244 --> 00:22:51,412
[Ernie] This is it.
535
00:22:51,495 --> 00:22:54,874
Quadruple match point...
or possibly halftime.
536
00:22:54,957 --> 00:22:57,084
[Dave] This sport makes my head hurt!
537
00:22:57,835 --> 00:22:58,669
[all] No!
538
00:22:58,752 --> 00:23:00,397
Come on!
We're watching this whole thing now!
539
00:23:00,421 --> 00:23:03,799
[reporter] This is a special report
from the Channel Twelve Action News Team!
540
00:23:03,883 --> 00:23:07,344
A stolen dairy cow named Heidi
falls into a tiger enclosure
541
00:23:07,428 --> 00:23:09,930
and somehow lives to tell the story.
542
00:23:10,014 --> 00:23:13,642
That and other "moos..."
[chuckles]...at eleven.
543
00:23:14,143 --> 00:23:16,061
Now back to The Battle of the Sexes.
544
00:23:16,645 --> 00:23:17,855
Jai alai?
545
00:23:17,938 --> 00:23:20,774
[Ernie] Bonnie Jo Dumont is the winner!
546
00:23:20,858 --> 00:23:22,026
[women cheering]
547
00:23:22,109 --> 00:23:23,193
Oh, my God!
548
00:23:23,903 --> 00:23:24,778
Oh, we missed it.
549
00:23:24,862 --> 00:23:26,322
[Ernie] Bonnie Jo gets congratulated
550
00:23:26,405 --> 00:23:29,533
by her longtime agent and roommate,
Lisa Powell.
551
00:23:29,617 --> 00:23:31,368
[Dave] Two ladies in one house.
552
00:23:31,452 --> 00:23:33,829
They really must be on top of each other.
553
00:23:33,913 --> 00:23:37,166
Okay, the ladies win. For one night.
554
00:23:37,249 --> 00:23:39,168
[overlapping chatter]
555
00:23:39,251 --> 00:23:42,421
Looks like it's dishwashing duty
for you this week, honey.
556
00:23:42,504 --> 00:23:43,505
TV dinners it is!
557
00:23:43,589 --> 00:23:44,423
[all laugh]
558
00:23:44,506 --> 00:23:46,216
- You tell her, Babe!
- That's it!
559
00:23:46,300 --> 00:23:48,594
Chet make me dinner tomorrow.
560
00:23:48,677 --> 00:23:49,970
[all laugh]
561
00:23:50,054 --> 00:23:51,388
[Sue] She got you.
562
00:23:51,472 --> 00:23:54,117
- Good for you, Nguyen-Nguyen.
- You've got an American wife now, Chet.
563
00:23:54,141 --> 00:23:55,309
[chuckles]
564
00:23:55,392 --> 00:23:56,977
Well, I guess I do, Frank.
565
00:23:57,061 --> 00:23:58,729
Time to cut up the credit cards.
566
00:23:58,812 --> 00:24:01,023
You see that, Sue?
Chet gave me the finger gun.
567
00:24:01,106 --> 00:24:03,484
[Nana Rose]
Back in my day we would go all night.
568
00:24:03,567 --> 00:24:04,610
[Sue] That was so fun.
569
00:24:04,693 --> 00:24:05,945
You know what...
570
00:24:06,028 --> 00:24:08,948
You know what... You know...
571
00:24:10,866 --> 00:24:12,159
[chuckles]
572
00:24:12,242 --> 00:24:15,579
That used to be me.
Let's get you to a meeting, little man.
573
00:24:19,124 --> 00:24:20,125
Oh.
574
00:24:20,751 --> 00:24:23,879
Chet even added
a little drawing of the crib.
575
00:24:24,463 --> 00:24:25,547
So sweet.
576
00:24:25,631 --> 00:24:27,967
Oh, I told you. [chuckles]
He's a great guy.
577
00:24:28,467 --> 00:24:31,512
Yeah. I guess
I got a little jealous of him.
578
00:24:31,595 --> 00:24:33,514
You got nothing to be jealous of, Sue.
579
00:24:34,598 --> 00:24:36,725
And I'm really sorry
your focus group didn't go well.
580
00:24:36,809 --> 00:24:38,352
Mm. That's okay, honey.
581
00:24:39,395 --> 00:24:42,272
Maybe it's time to move on
to the next chapter of my life.
582
00:24:43,148 --> 00:24:45,484
As long as I'm still in that book,
I'll be happy.
583
00:24:47,444 --> 00:24:48,487
Always.
584
00:25:11,051 --> 00:25:12,886
[Nguyen-Nguyen] I was just making joke.
585
00:25:12,970 --> 00:25:14,346
[Chet] Yeah, and I was the joke!
586
00:25:14,430 --> 00:25:15,973
"Chet make me dinner tomorrow."
587
00:25:16,056 --> 00:25:17,736
Don't you ever speak to me
like that again!
588
00:25:17,808 --> 00:25:19,309
[Nguyen-Nguyen] I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
589
00:25:19,393 --> 00:25:21,037
[Chet] I didn't pull you out
of a burning hole
590
00:25:21,061 --> 00:25:23,272
to have you disrespect a superior officer!
591
00:25:23,355 --> 00:25:24,523
Do I make myself clear?
592
00:25:24,606 --> 00:25:25,733
[Nguyen-Nguyen] Yes, sir.
593
00:25:25,816 --> 00:25:28,861
Please, Mr. Chet, no consequences.
594
00:25:28,944 --> 00:25:30,296
[Chet] You got yourself the usual.
595
00:25:30,320 --> 00:25:33,782
No going outside tomorrow,
shine my shoes in the garage.
596
00:25:33,866 --> 00:25:34,700
[Nguyen-Nguyen] Okay.
597
00:25:34,783 --> 00:25:36,076
[Chet] And there will be no TV.
598
00:25:36,618 --> 00:25:38,829
[Nguyen-Nguyen shrieking]
No! You monster!
599
00:25:42,041 --> 00:25:45,044
Don't take away my Kojak, baby!
600
00:25:45,127 --> 00:25:47,004
[crickets chirping]
601
00:26:11,195 --> 00:26:12,780
[owl hooting]
602
00:26:15,157 --> 00:26:17,618
- [mechanical whirring]
- [gunshot]