1 00:00:21,521 --> 00:00:24,066 Holy shit. 2 00:00:26,610 --> 00:00:28,487 Holy shit. 3 00:00:28,570 --> 00:00:30,989 - Oh, this was a mistake. - Oh, man. 4 00:00:31,698 --> 00:00:33,200 Did I put it in the wrong place? 5 00:00:33,283 --> 00:00:34,785 How old are you? 6 00:00:34,868 --> 00:00:36,578 - Fourteen. - Fourteen? 7 00:00:36,662 --> 00:00:38,372 - And a half. - Oh, my God! 8 00:00:38,455 --> 00:00:40,165 I thought you were just short! 9 00:00:40,249 --> 00:00:42,251 You got to go! We shouldn't have done this! 10 00:00:42,334 --> 00:00:44,753 - You're the one who started it! - Why'd you have a boner? 11 00:00:44,836 --> 00:00:47,464 Because I could see your boobs! What was I supposed to do? 12 00:00:47,547 --> 00:00:49,466 You have to get out of here right now! 13 00:00:49,549 --> 00:00:52,010 If Vic finds us here like this, he'll go crazy! 14 00:00:57,140 --> 00:00:58,559 Stupid dick! 15 00:01:34,678 --> 00:01:35,721 Ah! 16 00:01:55,032 --> 00:01:57,618 - Good morning. - Good morning. 17 00:01:59,202 --> 00:02:02,137 Sue, as I mentioned many times yesterday, 18 00:02:02,162 --> 00:02:04,607 I am very sorry I took that money. 19 00:02:04,666 --> 00:02:06,335 I didn't know you needed it. 20 00:02:07,336 --> 00:02:10,047 - Okay. - So you're saying we're okay? 21 00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:13,091 I'm saying that I'm acknowledging that I heard what you said. 22 00:02:14,134 --> 00:02:18,096 Look, it's just that I don't want us to be like this with each other. 23 00:02:18,180 --> 00:02:19,848 Especially today. 24 00:02:19,931 --> 00:02:22,017 It's such an important day. 25 00:02:22,100 --> 00:02:24,853 Oh, Frank! You did remember! 26 00:02:24,936 --> 00:02:26,355 That's all I need! 27 00:02:27,564 --> 00:02:29,733 I love that you finally care about my work. 28 00:02:29,816 --> 00:02:32,694 I'm so nervous about meeting Henrietta Van Horne today. 29 00:02:32,809 --> 00:02:34,644 I mean, she founded the company. 30 00:02:34,696 --> 00:02:36,285 If she likes the Salad Tosser, 31 00:02:36,310 --> 00:02:39,059 it doesn't matter what Tracy said. It's a go. 32 00:02:39,284 --> 00:02:41,328 Sue, it's our anniversary. 33 00:02:42,496 --> 00:02:45,207 Oh, shit! I forgot our anniversary! 34 00:02:45,290 --> 00:02:46,667 Now I'm sorry! 35 00:02:46,750 --> 00:02:49,044 See? We all make mistakes. 36 00:02:49,127 --> 00:02:51,380 Exactly equal mistakes. 37 00:02:51,463 --> 00:02:53,465 You're sorry, I'm sorry. 38 00:02:53,548 --> 00:02:56,426 But it doesn't mean we still can't have a great anniversary. 39 00:02:56,510 --> 00:02:58,095 Let's go on a date. 40 00:02:58,178 --> 00:03:01,181 Oh, honey, we haven't done anything like that in years. 41 00:03:01,264 --> 00:03:03,558 I know. It's exactly what we need. 42 00:03:03,642 --> 00:03:04,893 It'll be like the old days. 43 00:03:04,976 --> 00:03:07,938 I'll take you to an early movie, we can go to a nice restaurant, 44 00:03:08,021 --> 00:03:10,732 we can get to second base in the back seat. 45 00:03:10,816 --> 00:03:12,234 Don't you have to work tonight? 46 00:03:12,317 --> 00:03:16,321 Oh, well, Smokey will just have to find someone to cover me for a change. 47 00:03:16,405 --> 00:03:18,573 That would be great. I'll wear that dress you like. 48 00:03:18,657 --> 00:03:20,742 I'll wear that tie from our first date. 49 00:03:20,826 --> 00:03:23,161 It still has that hollandaise sauce stain on it. 50 00:03:23,245 --> 00:03:26,331 I love that stain. It looks like Barbara Stanwyck. 51 00:03:26,415 --> 00:03:28,542 That's what I was wearing when I gave you that locket. 52 00:03:29,668 --> 00:03:30,961 Right. The locket. 53 00:03:31,044 --> 00:03:35,257 And... remember what we did after I gave you that locket? 54 00:03:35,340 --> 00:03:36,675 I think you do. 55 00:03:36,758 --> 00:03:38,719 That's my little anniversary present. 56 00:03:38,802 --> 00:03:41,847 Ooh. I think that's a big present. 57 00:03:41,930 --> 00:03:43,348 I woke up with it. 58 00:03:44,599 --> 00:03:46,560 Oh, wait. The kids are downstairs. 59 00:03:46,643 --> 00:03:48,061 Oh, gotcha. I'll get the door. 60 00:03:48,145 --> 00:03:50,522 And I'll put on a little present you can unwrap. 61 00:03:54,109 --> 00:03:55,569 Little music to help the mood? 62 00:03:55,652 --> 00:03:58,822 Faulty wiring is being blamed for a four-alarm house fire 63 00:03:58,905 --> 00:04:00,198 that killed a family of nine 64 00:04:00,282 --> 00:04:03,076 - and a stable of horses in Ryetown... - Jesus! 65 00:04:03,160 --> 00:04:04,453 Ready for loving. 66 00:04:06,872 --> 00:04:08,957 Frank, make an effort. 67 00:04:09,040 --> 00:04:10,500 My feet get cold. 68 00:04:11,752 --> 00:04:12,919 Oh, ow. 69 00:04:13,003 --> 00:04:15,881 - Oh, you cut me with your toenail. - You told me to take my socks off. 70 00:04:17,841 --> 00:04:19,801 - Oh, my balls! - I'm sorry. 71 00:04:19,885 --> 00:04:21,762 It's okay. It's okay. 72 00:04:21,845 --> 00:04:24,222 Okay, here we go. Starting over again. 73 00:04:24,306 --> 00:04:26,808 Yeah. Oh, that perfume smells really... 74 00:04:26,892 --> 00:04:29,144 - Oh, Jesus, Frank! - I'm sorry! 75 00:04:29,227 --> 00:04:30,979 Oh... 76 00:04:33,774 --> 00:04:36,735 - Honey, I don't think this is happening. - Okay. 77 00:04:36,818 --> 00:04:40,614 That wasn't us at our best, but tonight's gonna be a great night. 78 00:04:40,697 --> 00:04:42,240 Sure it will. 79 00:04:46,787 --> 00:04:50,582 At this point, I'd settle for average. 80 00:04:53,043 --> 00:04:56,338 Mr. Jeffords, I want all my fans to know 81 00:04:56,421 --> 00:04:59,716 that was not my jacket the cops found the illegal substance in. 82 00:05:01,218 --> 00:05:03,386 So it was your jacket? 83 00:05:03,470 --> 00:05:06,306 That is correct, Jim. This is my jacket. 84 00:05:06,389 --> 00:05:08,725 Dad, what does "illegal substance" mean? 85 00:05:08,809 --> 00:05:10,560 It means turn on a cartoon. 86 00:05:10,644 --> 00:05:12,479 Okay, I'll see you at three. 87 00:05:12,562 --> 00:05:15,982 And I don't need an anniversary gift. My present is you. 88 00:05:16,066 --> 00:05:18,652 And mine is you. Good luck today! 89 00:05:18,735 --> 00:05:19,820 Thanks! 90 00:05:21,238 --> 00:05:23,657 - Isn't she great? - So, what are you gonna get her? 91 00:05:23,740 --> 00:05:25,450 She just said she doesn't want a gift. 92 00:05:25,534 --> 00:05:27,786 That means you better get her one and it better be good. 93 00:05:27,869 --> 00:05:30,956 Ah, Christ. Why do you women play these mind games? 94 00:05:31,039 --> 00:05:33,959 No means yes. Yes means no. Don't drive drunk. 95 00:05:34,042 --> 00:05:36,795 - Just say what you mean! - That's no fun. 96 00:05:38,630 --> 00:05:41,091 Do I have to go to school today? 97 00:05:41,174 --> 00:05:43,218 Nah, you know what? Take the day off. 98 00:05:43,301 --> 00:05:45,804 - Really? - Fuck no. Get a-moving, you'll be late. 99 00:05:45,887 --> 00:05:47,597 But I've been up since 5:30, 100 00:05:47,681 --> 00:05:49,891 and it's cold out, and I'm tired from my route. 101 00:05:49,975 --> 00:05:51,560 And I'm tired from your bitching. 102 00:05:51,643 --> 00:05:53,645 What's the point of it all anyway? 103 00:05:53,728 --> 00:05:56,731 The point is that's life, and life has no point. 104 00:05:56,815 --> 00:05:58,525 You work hard, you get ahead, 105 00:05:58,608 --> 00:06:00,819 you start a family, and the kids don't appreciate you. 106 00:06:00,902 --> 00:06:03,738 Next thing you know, you're old, no one comes around anymore, 107 00:06:03,822 --> 00:06:05,115 and you're staring at the wall. 108 00:06:05,206 --> 00:06:07,166 One day, the neighbors notice a funny smell, 109 00:06:07,242 --> 00:06:09,213 and that's when they figure out the cat's eating your face. 110 00:06:09,238 --> 00:06:09,894 So go to school! 111 00:06:12,414 --> 00:06:14,082 My dad's so full of shit. 112 00:06:14,165 --> 00:06:17,127 "Work hard, you'll be rewarded. Get bigger balls." 113 00:06:17,210 --> 00:06:20,171 His balls aren't that big. They're disgusting. 114 00:06:20,255 --> 00:06:21,881 Get to school, you little shit! 115 00:06:21,965 --> 00:06:24,342 I'm going, I'm going! 116 00:06:25,093 --> 00:06:27,387 He doesn't even know what grade I'm in. 117 00:06:27,470 --> 00:06:30,307 School's a bunch of bullshit too. Let's skip today. 118 00:06:30,390 --> 00:06:32,434 - I can't do that. - Sure you can! 119 00:06:32,517 --> 00:06:34,894 It's just one day, nobody's gonna miss us. 120 00:06:34,978 --> 00:06:38,732 And we can go anywhere we want now that we got rid of Jimmy Fitzsimmons. 121 00:06:38,815 --> 00:06:41,693 You made that awful boy go away? 122 00:06:41,776 --> 00:06:43,778 Oh, he was evil. 123 00:06:43,862 --> 00:06:47,574 He made me see the other side of sterilization. 124 00:06:47,657 --> 00:06:49,284 Bless you, boys! 125 00:06:52,037 --> 00:06:56,750 Uh-oh. Mr. Shicklegruber knows our dark secret. 126 00:06:56,833 --> 00:06:58,627 If Jimmy ever finds out... 127 00:06:58,710 --> 00:07:00,378 Jimmy's gone. 128 00:07:00,462 --> 00:07:03,006 Come on. Lighten up. Just cut with me. 129 00:07:03,089 --> 00:07:04,382 I don't know. 130 00:07:04,466 --> 00:07:06,718 I have a perfect attendance record. 131 00:07:06,801 --> 00:07:10,639 I've got my eyes on that big end-of-the-year pizza party. 132 00:07:10,722 --> 00:07:13,642 Last year, it was just me and the lunch ladies. 133 00:07:13,725 --> 00:07:15,810 Come on! It'll be fun. 134 00:07:15,894 --> 00:07:17,145 Just do it. 135 00:07:17,228 --> 00:07:19,648 Well, okay. 136 00:07:20,732 --> 00:07:25,403 I'm allergic to cheese, wheat, tomatoes, and water anyway. 137 00:07:28,990 --> 00:07:30,867 Tracy thinks we're in Ryetown, right? 138 00:07:30,951 --> 00:07:34,329 Yep. I told him Julie had another butter tub emergency. 139 00:07:34,412 --> 00:07:40,502 That fat, hoarding, cheese-smelling pile of psoriasis scabs is a real lifesaver. 140 00:07:41,628 --> 00:07:45,298 Vivian Saunders, as I live and breathe. 141 00:07:45,382 --> 00:07:47,092 And who might you be? 142 00:07:47,175 --> 00:07:49,260 Sue, ma'am. Sue Murphy. 143 00:07:49,344 --> 00:07:51,388 Oh, now don't you "ma'am" me. 144 00:07:51,471 --> 00:07:54,724 I may live in a mansion, but I'm still the same plain housewife 145 00:07:54,808 --> 00:07:58,019 who invented a burping bowl and became filthy stinking rich. 146 00:07:58,103 --> 00:08:00,605 Come in. And invite your chauffeur in too. 147 00:08:00,689 --> 00:08:03,233 We drove ourselves. 148 00:08:04,776 --> 00:08:06,569 Oh, my God, you're serious. 149 00:08:06,653 --> 00:08:09,698 Henrietta, we gals sure miss you around the office. 150 00:08:09,781 --> 00:08:13,827 Oh, thanks, but I don't miss it for one second. 151 00:08:13,910 --> 00:08:16,079 I'm content just to sit here, 152 00:08:16,162 --> 00:08:19,332 collect my nickel royalty for every bowl sold, 153 00:08:19,416 --> 00:08:22,168 and admire my collection of antique monkey paws. 154 00:08:22,877 --> 00:08:26,047 You know, it's almost impossible to find an un-cursed set. 155 00:08:26,131 --> 00:08:28,550 But since you came all the way out here, 156 00:08:28,633 --> 00:08:31,678 what's this new idea you want to tell me about? 157 00:08:31,761 --> 00:08:34,472 What is the biggest problem you face in the kitchen? 158 00:08:35,390 --> 00:08:37,183 My maids getting deported. 159 00:08:37,267 --> 00:08:41,730 It's funny, the skinny ones can run, but the fat ones seem to clean better. 160 00:08:41,813 --> 00:08:43,314 Oh, yeah. 161 00:08:43,398 --> 00:08:44,899 I know what you mean. But... 162 00:08:44,983 --> 00:08:46,067 Wet lettuce. 163 00:08:46,151 --> 00:08:47,694 Right. Wet lettuce. 164 00:08:47,777 --> 00:08:50,655 Luckily, Sue has invented a handy device 165 00:08:50,739 --> 00:08:54,576 that can gently and efficiently dry your lettuce in seconds. 166 00:08:54,659 --> 00:08:58,246 May I present the Salad Tosser. 167 00:08:59,998 --> 00:09:02,625 And I care about it because...? 168 00:09:02,709 --> 00:09:06,046 Oh, yes, right. The pitch. 169 00:09:06,129 --> 00:09:07,380 No pressure, dear. 170 00:09:07,464 --> 00:09:10,675 Your five minutes began 46 seconds ago. 171 00:09:16,890 --> 00:09:20,018 Chester, put some elbow grease in them titties! 172 00:09:21,394 --> 00:09:24,189 Champagne Chariot, not responsible for broken condoms. 173 00:09:24,272 --> 00:09:27,192 Anyone who gets fucked with a bowling alley rubber deserves to get pregnant. 174 00:09:27,275 --> 00:09:28,359 Smokey speaking. 175 00:09:28,443 --> 00:09:30,737 Smokey... it's Frank Murphy. 176 00:09:30,820 --> 00:09:33,907 Frank Murphy, my favorite sugar shover. 177 00:09:33,990 --> 00:09:35,575 Hey, you don't sound so good. 178 00:09:35,658 --> 00:09:37,285 I don't feel so good. 179 00:09:37,368 --> 00:09:40,705 I'm sorry, but I got the flu or something. 180 00:09:40,789 --> 00:09:43,166 Don't think I can make it in tonight. 181 00:09:43,249 --> 00:09:45,960 I'm so sorry you ain't feeling good. 182 00:09:46,044 --> 00:09:49,380 Why don't you come on down so I can take your rectal temperature... 183 00:09:50,131 --> 00:09:52,967 with my goddamn foot, you lying motherfucker? 184 00:09:53,051 --> 00:09:56,304 Smokey, I'm sorry, but tonight's my anniversary and I haven't... 185 00:09:56,387 --> 00:09:58,932 Your anniversary? Oh, that's important! 186 00:09:59,015 --> 00:10:01,059 Don't come in tonight. What'd you get her? 187 00:10:01,142 --> 00:10:02,560 I still have to go to the store. 188 00:10:02,644 --> 00:10:04,479 Man, get off the goddamn phone 189 00:10:04,562 --> 00:10:07,398 and get your woman a nice present before she ends up like my wife 190 00:10:07,482 --> 00:10:10,443 and starts fucking everybody in the goddamn neighborhood! 191 00:10:10,527 --> 00:10:11,903 And congratulations! 192 00:10:13,196 --> 00:10:15,907 Well, back to work. 193 00:10:15,990 --> 00:10:18,284 One, two, three, baby! 194 00:10:18,368 --> 00:10:20,245 One, two, three, baby! 195 00:10:21,204 --> 00:10:22,372 Yeah! 196 00:10:22,455 --> 00:10:24,082 Now you break something. 197 00:10:24,165 --> 00:10:25,708 I don't think I want to. 198 00:10:25,792 --> 00:10:28,294 You're such a goody-goody with your perfect family 199 00:10:28,378 --> 00:10:30,088 and your dad who doesn't yell at you. 200 00:10:30,171 --> 00:10:33,925 Mine doesn't even ask me about the hockey tryouts he forgot to take me to! 201 00:10:35,343 --> 00:10:37,262 It's your turn! Do something! 202 00:10:37,345 --> 00:10:38,388 Okay. 203 00:10:39,305 --> 00:10:40,515 Um... 204 00:10:41,474 --> 00:10:42,559 That's a start. 205 00:10:42,642 --> 00:10:43,893 Sorry, Mom. 206 00:10:44,686 --> 00:10:46,855 Hey, you guys cut school today, too? 207 00:10:46,938 --> 00:10:50,942 No. We get home-schooled by an owl. 208 00:10:51,025 --> 00:10:54,779 Our daddy glued one of them professor hats to his head. 209 00:10:54,863 --> 00:10:58,491 He kept spinning his neck around trying to make it fall off, 210 00:10:58,575 --> 00:10:59,951 but then he gived up. 211 00:11:00,034 --> 00:11:02,787 Hey, you guys want to do something really fun? 212 00:11:02,871 --> 00:11:03,705 - Yeah! - No. 213 00:11:03,788 --> 00:11:06,207 Let's go to the supermarket and lick some meat! 214 00:11:06,916 --> 00:11:08,334 I got a better idea. 215 00:11:09,919 --> 00:11:14,841 What if we stuff these clothes with some leaves and dirt and threw it at a car? 216 00:11:14,924 --> 00:11:17,844 We can't do that. It's dangerous. 217 00:11:17,927 --> 00:11:19,220 It'll be fun! 218 00:11:19,304 --> 00:11:21,890 Come on, you're making a big deal out of nothing! 219 00:11:22,515 --> 00:11:23,975 Holy shit! 220 00:11:24,684 --> 00:11:26,227 Who left the seat up? 221 00:11:29,856 --> 00:11:30,857 Jesus Christ. 222 00:11:31,858 --> 00:11:33,610 What am I, the Shah of Iran? 223 00:11:33,693 --> 00:11:36,112 Frank? Frank Murphy? 224 00:11:36,195 --> 00:11:38,197 Oh, fuck me. 225 00:11:38,281 --> 00:11:39,532 Hey, Ginny. Greg. 226 00:11:39,616 --> 00:11:43,036 Oh, I love hearing our names together. 227 00:11:47,665 --> 00:11:48,917 I love women! 228 00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:51,461 I love putting my tongue in her head! 229 00:11:52,128 --> 00:11:53,796 I'd love to chat, but... 230 00:11:54,589 --> 00:11:57,550 today's our anniversary and I got to buy Sue a present. 231 00:11:57,634 --> 00:11:58,927 Congratulations! 232 00:11:59,010 --> 00:12:01,971 Oh, I'm so happy you two have what Greg and I do. 233 00:12:02,055 --> 00:12:04,390 Marriage is a lot of work. 234 00:12:04,474 --> 00:12:06,309 So much work. 235 00:12:06,392 --> 00:12:09,228 It's important to do things together as a couple. 236 00:12:09,312 --> 00:12:13,107 Like, you caught us on Greg's "Pants Shopping Day." 237 00:12:13,191 --> 00:12:17,654 Every Thursday at noon, Greg's got to look at pants in this very store. 238 00:12:18,404 --> 00:12:19,781 He's such a man. 239 00:12:19,864 --> 00:12:23,826 Excuse me, lover, I have to go try these on. 240 00:12:23,910 --> 00:12:28,247 He's always in room three. Oh, he's so superstitious. 241 00:12:28,331 --> 00:12:31,542 Good seeing you, Ginny, but I got to go pick out something nice for Sue. 242 00:12:31,626 --> 00:12:34,295 Feeling pressured to get a good gift? 243 00:12:34,379 --> 00:12:36,881 Pressure? No! Why would I feel any pressure? 244 00:12:36,965 --> 00:12:39,509 Good for you for going the extra mile. 245 00:12:39,592 --> 00:12:42,595 Greg and I have learned that the secret to a happy marriage 246 00:12:42,679 --> 00:12:45,974 is being in touch with what your partner needs. 247 00:12:46,057 --> 00:12:47,392 Let me give you a tip. 248 00:12:47,475 --> 00:12:48,643 Oh, the tip! 249 00:12:48,726 --> 00:12:51,604 It's important to show your love in small ways, 250 00:12:51,688 --> 00:12:54,649 and sometimes very big and expensive ways. 251 00:12:54,732 --> 00:12:56,776 Jesus, I got to get Sue something really good. 252 00:12:56,859 --> 00:12:59,028 The jewelry department's on the second floor, right? 253 00:12:59,112 --> 00:13:01,197 Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah! 254 00:13:01,280 --> 00:13:02,949 Thanks, pal! 255 00:13:03,908 --> 00:13:08,371 "No longer will your salad be held prisoner by the forces of moisture. 256 00:13:11,124 --> 00:13:14,335 Caesar the day with the Salad Tosser." 257 00:13:17,964 --> 00:13:20,341 Well, that was uninspiring. 258 00:13:20,925 --> 00:13:23,720 Thank you for wasting what's left of my morning. 259 00:13:23,803 --> 00:13:28,141 - Show them out, Huddleston! - But Henrietta... this is a great idea! 260 00:13:28,224 --> 00:13:31,352 I hear great ideas all day long. 261 00:13:31,436 --> 00:13:34,230 I don't buy ideas, I buy passion! 262 00:13:34,313 --> 00:13:36,315 You think you can just waltz in here, 263 00:13:36,399 --> 00:13:39,527 read your little book report and voila, you're a millionaire? 264 00:13:39,610 --> 00:13:40,862 I've got passion! 265 00:13:40,945 --> 00:13:42,947 Well, then I feel very sorry for your husband. 266 00:13:43,031 --> 00:13:46,284 - You have no right to say that to me! - Sue, stop it. 267 00:13:46,367 --> 00:13:49,328 No, you stop it. I'll tell you something about passion. 268 00:13:49,412 --> 00:13:53,124 - I worked my ass off on this invention. - Well, clearly not all of it. 269 00:13:53,207 --> 00:13:57,712 I came up with this idea when my secondhand washing machine broke down. 270 00:13:57,795 --> 00:14:01,591 I spent all night building a mock-up in my garage. 271 00:14:01,674 --> 00:14:05,970 I sold a precious locket that my husband gave me 272 00:14:06,023 --> 00:14:08,197 to pay for this prototype that you have 273 00:14:08,299 --> 00:14:10,165 the gall to say I don't have passion for! 274 00:14:10,224 --> 00:14:12,643 And this is a great idea! 275 00:14:12,727 --> 00:14:14,103 And if you can't see that, 276 00:14:14,187 --> 00:14:17,899 then you don't deserve the name Mrs. Plast-a-Ware! 277 00:14:24,572 --> 00:14:25,823 Oh, Sue. 278 00:14:25,907 --> 00:14:29,243 I haven't slow clapped since Kennedy was shot. 279 00:14:29,318 --> 00:14:31,487 You passed the test, Sue. 280 00:14:31,579 --> 00:14:32,988 That's how you sell a product 281 00:14:33,013 --> 00:14:35,440 and that's the kind of passion I can get behind! 282 00:14:35,500 --> 00:14:36,667 You really mean it? 283 00:14:36,751 --> 00:14:41,339 Sue, once upon a time, I was a young housewife, just like you: 284 00:14:41,422 --> 00:14:45,009 poor, overweight, no sense of style or elegance. 285 00:14:45,093 --> 00:14:50,848 But then I invented a container out of a new space-age material called plastic. 286 00:14:50,932 --> 00:14:54,685 And with that first bowl, came the sound of a revolution: 287 00:14:54,769 --> 00:14:56,854 The Big Burp. 288 00:14:56,938 --> 00:14:58,940 Sue, this invention is your Big Burp. 289 00:14:59,023 --> 00:15:02,026 And just like I said to my high school choir director, 290 00:15:02,110 --> 00:15:04,987 I want this baby! 291 00:15:05,071 --> 00:15:07,573 And I want to sell this baby! 292 00:15:07,657 --> 00:15:09,325 So, you'll recommend it to Tracy? 293 00:15:09,409 --> 00:15:11,577 Fuck him! This is mine! 294 00:15:11,661 --> 00:15:14,065 It's the product I need to get my company back 295 00:15:14,090 --> 00:15:15,981 from those pricks who pushed me out. 296 00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:18,418 Girls, next week at the stockholder meeting, 297 00:15:18,501 --> 00:15:22,088 when they expect me to just show up and pose for pictures, 298 00:15:22,171 --> 00:15:24,257 we'll spring the Salad Tosser on them! 299 00:15:24,340 --> 00:15:25,591 That's wonderful! 300 00:15:25,675 --> 00:15:27,343 Now, bring it in, ladies. 301 00:15:27,427 --> 00:15:29,429 Sisters unite! 302 00:15:32,014 --> 00:15:34,016 It comes with me everywhere. 303 00:15:38,146 --> 00:15:39,814 Kevin Murphy! There you are! 304 00:15:39,897 --> 00:15:41,941 Ah! It was her idea! Don't kill me! 305 00:15:43,401 --> 00:15:45,137 What was that rocking tune I heard 306 00:15:45,162 --> 00:15:46,928 coming out of your basement last night? 307 00:15:46,988 --> 00:15:48,865 You guys are sounding great! 308 00:15:48,948 --> 00:15:51,117 I felt that song in my balls. 309 00:15:51,200 --> 00:15:54,036 And coming from your balls, that means a lot. 310 00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:55,743 My main Monocles, how'd you like to play 311 00:15:55,768 --> 00:15:57,272 at a party I'm throwing this weekend? 312 00:15:57,331 --> 00:15:58,624 It'd be the kittay's tittays! 313 00:15:58,708 --> 00:16:01,961 Oh! A party at your house? 314 00:16:02,044 --> 00:16:04,297 All the guys from the station are gonna be there. 315 00:16:04,380 --> 00:16:06,257 Record company suits. My dwarf buddies. 316 00:16:06,340 --> 00:16:08,801 My sensei, guys from the dojo, purple belts and above. 317 00:16:08,900 --> 00:16:12,904 Yes! We will be there and we will rock you so hard! 318 00:16:12,972 --> 00:16:14,546 It's for Cutie Pie's birthday! 319 00:16:14,571 --> 00:16:17,728 She's just the greatest chick a dude could ever have. 320 00:16:17,935 --> 00:16:20,688 Kevin, maybe you'll get a girl like her someday. 321 00:16:20,771 --> 00:16:21,981 What day? Not yesterday! 322 00:16:24,192 --> 00:16:27,612 Cutie Pie makes my heart race. She makes me sweat a lot. 323 00:16:27,695 --> 00:16:30,072 She makes me feel like there's a hole in my nose. 324 00:16:30,156 --> 00:16:31,532 I freaking love that girl! 325 00:16:31,616 --> 00:16:33,576 I want her to have her babies, man! 326 00:16:35,286 --> 00:16:37,288 Hey, Kevin! What are you doing here? 327 00:16:37,371 --> 00:16:39,749 Oh, man, I need to lie down. 328 00:16:40,458 --> 00:16:42,043 I drive better like this, anyway. 329 00:16:42,126 --> 00:16:44,462 I like to look under the steering wheel! 330 00:16:44,545 --> 00:16:46,130 It's a leather rainbow! 331 00:16:49,217 --> 00:16:52,428 - Oh, shit. - Now we're playing a party! 332 00:16:52,512 --> 00:16:54,889 After struggling for two weeks, we finally made it! 333 00:16:54,972 --> 00:16:57,141 This is gonna be so rad to the max! 334 00:16:58,643 --> 00:17:01,479 That effigy looks like your dad. 335 00:17:01,562 --> 00:17:04,232 Yeah. My stupid dad. 336 00:17:04,315 --> 00:17:05,483 Let's throw him in the road. 337 00:17:05,566 --> 00:17:08,069 Our daddy ran over a dummy once, 338 00:17:08,152 --> 00:17:10,613 but that dummy was filled with people blood. 339 00:17:10,696 --> 00:17:14,158 We stayed in Mexico that summer and Daddy grew a beard. 340 00:17:14,867 --> 00:17:17,036 Oh man, here comes a car! 341 00:17:17,119 --> 00:17:19,205 - Throw him! - Wait, no! 342 00:17:19,288 --> 00:17:20,915 Don't throw it! 343 00:17:21,707 --> 00:17:22,708 Why'd you do that? 344 00:17:22,792 --> 00:17:26,087 You were gonna cause an accident! On purpose! 345 00:17:26,170 --> 00:17:28,339 Come on, we're trying to have fun! 346 00:17:28,422 --> 00:17:29,674 This is not fun. 347 00:17:29,757 --> 00:17:32,134 Jesus, you are such a pussy! 348 00:17:35,346 --> 00:17:38,474 I don't want to be friends with you anymore. 349 00:17:47,024 --> 00:17:48,651 Ah! A person! 350 00:17:50,403 --> 00:17:51,529 Pussy. 351 00:17:51,612 --> 00:17:53,239 God damn it. Stop ripping. 352 00:17:54,323 --> 00:17:56,325 Fucking Charlie Brown. 353 00:17:56,409 --> 00:17:58,452 Bald loser who can't direct a play. 354 00:17:58,536 --> 00:17:59,787 I'm all ready. 355 00:18:02,832 --> 00:18:05,876 Wow. Sue, you look beautiful. 356 00:18:06,627 --> 00:18:09,171 Thanks. Somebody today told me I look fat. 357 00:18:09,255 --> 00:18:12,174 No, no, no. Who would say that? You're gorgeous. 358 00:18:13,050 --> 00:18:14,343 Really? 359 00:18:14,427 --> 00:18:16,220 Yeah, come here. 360 00:18:23,728 --> 00:18:25,146 Does it ever fail? 361 00:18:25,229 --> 00:18:27,231 Let the machine pick it up. 362 00:18:27,315 --> 00:18:30,693 Leave a message at the tone. 363 00:18:32,903 --> 00:18:36,699 Mr. and Mrs. Murphy, this is Vice Principal Eugene Menard... 364 00:18:36,782 --> 00:18:38,576 Christ, what the fuck did Kevin do now? 365 00:18:38,659 --> 00:18:40,244 ...from Southwick Elementary. 366 00:18:40,328 --> 00:18:42,121 Oh, don't tell me Bill's in trouble. 367 00:18:42,204 --> 00:18:45,041 I need you to come to the school as soon as you can 368 00:18:45,124 --> 00:18:47,752 to discuss a matter of some importance about your daughter. 369 00:18:47,835 --> 00:18:49,337 Huh? 370 00:18:53,424 --> 00:18:55,926 Hi. Can we make this quick? 371 00:18:56,010 --> 00:18:57,845 It's our anniversary, and we have a date planned. 372 00:18:57,928 --> 00:18:58,929 So... what is it? 373 00:18:59,013 --> 00:19:01,974 Lice, mumps, she kiss a boy? Please tell me it's a boy. 374 00:19:02,058 --> 00:19:03,826 Mr. and Mrs. Murphy, we held a 375 00:19:03,851 --> 00:19:06,503 State Mathematics Assessment Test recently. 376 00:19:06,562 --> 00:19:08,939 Maureen got a perfect score. 377 00:19:09,023 --> 00:19:10,191 That's wonderful! 378 00:19:10,274 --> 00:19:13,402 Yeah! You know, you could've just told us on the phone. 379 00:19:14,362 --> 00:19:17,281 No girl has ever achieved that highly. 380 00:19:17,365 --> 00:19:20,660 Until five years ago, girls weren't even allowed to take the test. 381 00:19:20,743 --> 00:19:22,578 It was believed to make them barren. 382 00:19:22,662 --> 00:19:25,831 So, obviously, Maureen cheated. 383 00:19:25,915 --> 00:19:28,209 Or she can never have children. 384 00:19:28,292 --> 00:19:29,710 You think she cheated? 385 00:19:29,794 --> 00:19:31,671 - You cheated?! - No, I didn't! 386 00:19:31,754 --> 00:19:35,675 She sat next to the only other student who got a perfect score. 387 00:19:35,758 --> 00:19:37,593 Scott, will you come in? 388 00:19:38,761 --> 00:19:40,554 This is Scott Ichikawa. 389 00:19:40,638 --> 00:19:43,265 As you can see, Scott is a boy. 390 00:19:43,349 --> 00:19:44,975 An Oriental boy. 391 00:19:45,059 --> 00:19:47,269 - They're really smart. - How could you?! 392 00:19:47,353 --> 00:19:49,563 - I didn't cheat off him! - Yes, you did! 393 00:19:49,647 --> 00:19:51,899 Aw, Christ, another kid down the drain. 394 00:19:51,982 --> 00:19:53,609 I am so sorry. 395 00:19:53,693 --> 00:19:56,320 This kind of thing never happened when I was watching the kids. 396 00:19:56,404 --> 00:19:58,489 This is my fault? You're the one who left her family. 397 00:19:58,572 --> 00:20:01,283 I had to work after you lost your job. 398 00:20:01,367 --> 00:20:03,244 Oh, well, happy anniversary to you, too. 399 00:20:03,327 --> 00:20:06,288 Not that you care about our anniversary. You forgot it. 400 00:20:06,372 --> 00:20:08,916 And I got you a beautiful ashtray made out of crystal. 401 00:20:08,999 --> 00:20:10,418 That's practically diamonds. 402 00:20:10,484 --> 00:20:12,616 If we could bring the discussion back 403 00:20:12,649 --> 00:20:13,987 to your daughter's cheating on a test. 404 00:20:14,046 --> 00:20:15,339 You should be thanking me. 405 00:20:15,423 --> 00:20:17,126 I got a job and kept this family fed 406 00:20:17,165 --> 00:20:18,283 when you weren't pulling your weight. 407 00:20:18,342 --> 00:20:20,177 I'm pulling my weight now! 408 00:20:20,446 --> 00:20:22,374 I bust my ass six nights a week, 409 00:20:22,399 --> 00:20:24,205 feeling every bump in the goddamn road 410 00:20:24,265 --> 00:20:27,435 because I provide a valuable service! I make people happy! 411 00:20:27,518 --> 00:20:29,895 Well, you're not making me happy. 412 00:20:29,979 --> 00:20:31,439 I never see you. 413 00:20:31,522 --> 00:20:34,233 You're not my husband, you're my roommate. 414 00:20:34,316 --> 00:20:37,027 You get home when I'm leaving. You leave when I get home. 415 00:20:37,111 --> 00:20:40,239 You spend more time in that stupid truck than you do with me! 416 00:20:40,322 --> 00:20:42,575 Well, at least the truck doesn't judge me. 417 00:20:42,658 --> 00:20:45,619 You should be glad I called Rosie to get that job, because now I can... 418 00:20:45,703 --> 00:20:47,163 Wait! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 419 00:20:47,246 --> 00:20:50,166 You told me you got that job from the Employment Office. 420 00:20:50,249 --> 00:20:52,752 I never said that. I said I went down there. 421 00:20:52,835 --> 00:20:55,045 - You said you got it from there! - All right, I lied! 422 00:20:55,129 --> 00:20:57,590 I fucking lied! Is that what you want to hear? 423 00:20:57,673 --> 00:20:59,633 No! Nobody wants to hear that! 424 00:20:59,717 --> 00:21:02,178 But I didn't take a handout! I'm bringing money in! 425 00:21:02,237 --> 00:21:04,489 You took money from me! 426 00:21:04,597 --> 00:21:07,354 Why the fuck are you hiding money from me anyways? 427 00:21:07,379 --> 00:21:08,854 I thought we were a team! 428 00:21:08,886 --> 00:21:11,979 I had to hide it so you wouldn't blow it on another fucking TV! 429 00:21:12,069 --> 00:21:14,322 Oh! Oh! You're gonna throw the TV in my face? 430 00:21:14,398 --> 00:21:15,793 I didn't hear you complaining when you 431 00:21:15,818 --> 00:21:17,493 were watching the Rose Bowl parade. 432 00:21:17,518 --> 00:21:20,605 "Ooh, Frank! Look at the begonias!" 433 00:21:20,630 --> 00:21:22,298 You stole from me! 434 00:21:22,592 --> 00:21:24,538 And because of that, I had to pawn that 435 00:21:24,563 --> 00:21:26,683 locket you gave to get my invention made! 436 00:21:26,707 --> 00:21:29,293 You hocked our locket for your little salad thing?! 437 00:21:29,376 --> 00:21:31,837 And you're busting my chops about how I got my job? 438 00:21:31,921 --> 00:21:34,006 You know what? Just go! 439 00:21:34,089 --> 00:21:36,258 Never come home, for all I care! 440 00:21:36,342 --> 00:21:39,720 Be with your precious truck and your rubbers! 441 00:21:39,804 --> 00:21:42,765 Well, if I had a rubber 15 years ago, we wouldn't be here today! 442 00:21:42,848 --> 00:21:44,892 You said you had control! 443 00:21:44,975 --> 00:21:47,853 I said that in the missionary position! 444 00:21:47,937 --> 00:21:49,438 You're the one who turned over! 445 00:21:49,522 --> 00:21:52,107 Stop it! Stop yelling! 446 00:21:52,191 --> 00:21:54,819 Okay, okay, I cheated! 447 00:21:54,902 --> 00:21:56,570 I cheated off Maureen! 448 00:21:56,654 --> 00:21:59,281 She's the genius! I hate school! 449 00:21:59,990 --> 00:22:02,785 I'm the only one in my family who doesn't like books! 450 00:22:02,868 --> 00:22:05,663 I want to ride motocross! 451 00:22:05,746 --> 00:22:10,584 They will call me Mr. Moto... Cross! 452 00:22:10,668 --> 00:22:12,920 Just let me go home! 453 00:22:18,968 --> 00:22:20,052 Oh, my God. 454 00:22:23,681 --> 00:22:26,392 Now can I join computer club? 455 00:22:33,566 --> 00:22:36,277 Good fucking grief. 456 00:22:45,953 --> 00:22:47,162 Bob Pogo. 457 00:22:47,246 --> 00:22:49,832 Bob, it's Frank Murphy, I didn't think you'd be there this late. 458 00:22:49,915 --> 00:22:52,543 - What do you want... - Please just hear me out. 459 00:22:52,626 --> 00:22:54,837 I'm sorry I left you on the side of the road yesterday. 460 00:22:54,920 --> 00:22:58,215 If your offer to give me my job back still stands, I'll do it. 461 00:22:58,963 --> 00:23:00,599 I'll help you take down Scoop Dunbarton. 462 00:23:00,710 --> 00:23:02,484 You think I'd bring you back 463 00:23:02,553 --> 00:23:04,805 after what you did to me 464 00:23:04,888 --> 00:23:10,352 and that innocent Puerto Rican who went to jail for our sins? 465 00:23:10,936 --> 00:23:15,107 Well, you're right, I would. I got to get rid of Scoop! 466 00:23:15,190 --> 00:23:19,111 Thank you, Frank. I knew you'd have pity on me. 467 00:23:19,194 --> 00:23:20,988 I'm not doing this for you. 468 00:23:21,071 --> 00:23:22,281 I need to save my marriage, 469 00:23:22,364 --> 00:23:24,700 and the only way to do that is to get my old day job again. 470 00:23:24,783 --> 00:23:28,162 Meet me tomorrow. We have no time to waste. 471 00:23:29,121 --> 00:23:31,415 Who wants ice cream? 472 00:23:31,498 --> 00:23:33,417 No! It burns! 473 00:23:33,500 --> 00:23:35,711 The ice cream burns! 474 00:24:32,267 --> 00:24:34,228 A little rain? 475 00:24:34,311 --> 00:24:37,773 Is that all you got, you pussy? 476 00:24:41,913 --> 00:24:46,913 Synced & corrected by PopcornAWH - www.addic7ed.com -