1 00:00:05,095 --> 00:00:07,431 A Honeybee is always helpful, 2 00:00:07,432 --> 00:00:09,767 like bees help flowers grow. 3 00:00:09,850 --> 00:00:11,615 She is friendly and kind, 4 00:00:11,616 --> 00:00:15,147 grooms responsibly, and rejects communism. 5 00:00:15,230 --> 00:00:18,984 She works hard, and will be rewarded with a happy life. 6 00:00:19,068 --> 00:00:20,486 Oh, bullshit. 7 00:00:20,569 --> 00:00:23,155 A Honeybee always plays by the rules. 8 00:00:23,238 --> 00:00:26,450 Okay, that's enough. You know what, ladies? 9 00:00:26,533 --> 00:00:28,827 I worked hard, I played by the rules. 10 00:00:28,994 --> 00:00:30,454 What did it get me? 11 00:00:30,537 --> 00:00:33,415 I'm sitting with a bunch of little girls in the middle of the day 12 00:00:33,499 --> 00:00:35,459 with a goddamn thimble on my head. 13 00:00:35,542 --> 00:00:38,003 I look like a Jewish leprechaun. 14 00:00:38,087 --> 00:00:40,339 You know what that means? I'm not working. 15 00:00:40,422 --> 00:00:42,883 That means I'm not providing. That means I'm not a man. 16 00:00:42,966 --> 00:00:46,421 Did you know I fought in a war? Oh, yeah. In Korea, 17 00:00:46,456 --> 00:00:49,765 I shoved my sergeant's bloody intestines back into his body. 18 00:00:49,848 --> 00:00:52,768 He kept yelling, "Those aren't mine! Those aren't mine!" 19 00:00:52,851 --> 00:00:55,604 - Fog of war, girls! - Oh, my God. 20 00:00:55,687 --> 00:00:57,439 I still can't eat kielbasa. 21 00:00:57,523 --> 00:00:59,191 And how am I rewarded? 22 00:00:59,274 --> 00:01:03,070 With a TV show called M*A*S*H that turns the hell I went through 23 00:01:03,153 --> 00:01:06,448 into a bunch of doctors playing fucking grab-ass in the Hollywood Hills! 24 00:01:06,532 --> 00:01:10,869 - Dad, not M*A*S*H again! - Sorry, I'm sorry. 25 00:01:12,287 --> 00:01:14,331 All right, we got 30 minutes left. 26 00:01:18,127 --> 00:01:19,628 Let's make popcorn balls 27 00:01:19,711 --> 00:01:22,423 and talk about how those pansies are giving Nixon the shaft. 28 00:01:33,142 --> 00:01:35,602 ♪ Come and get your love ♪ 29 00:01:38,021 --> 00:01:40,566 ♪ Come and get your love ♪ 30 00:01:42,151 --> 00:01:43,610 ♪ Come and get your love ♪ 31 00:01:46,280 --> 00:01:48,907 ♪ Come and get your love ♪ 32 00:01:50,325 --> 00:01:52,244 ♪ Come and get your love Come and get your love ♪ 33 00:01:52,327 --> 00:01:53,912 ♪ Come and get your love now ♪ 34 00:01:54,663 --> 00:01:56,582 ♪ Come and get your love Come and get your love ♪ 35 00:01:56,665 --> 00:01:57,958 ♪ Come and get your love now ♪ 36 00:01:59,585 --> 00:02:01,628 ♪ Come and get your love Come and get your love ♪ 37 00:02:01,712 --> 00:02:03,255 ♪ Come and get your love now ♪ 38 00:02:03,380 --> 00:02:05,382 ♪ Come and get your love Come and get your love ♪ 39 00:02:05,466 --> 00:02:07,259 ♪ Come and get your love now ♪ 40 00:02:07,960 --> 00:02:11,104 sync & correction by f1nc0 ~ Addic7ed.com ~ 41 00:02:15,225 --> 00:02:16,852 All right, baby! 42 00:02:16,935 --> 00:02:21,732 That was Whiplash Firestorm, waking you up on this Friday! 43 00:02:21,815 --> 00:02:26,565 You're listening to W-K-W-O-K FM. The Kwok! **** 44 00:02:31,700 --> 00:02:34,203 Oh, turn that fucking light off! 45 00:02:34,286 --> 00:02:35,871 I got to do my papers! 46 00:02:35,954 --> 00:02:38,332 Knock it off, you goddamn animals! 47 00:02:38,415 --> 00:02:41,585 What kind of dildo gets a job that starts at five in the morning? 48 00:02:41,668 --> 00:02:43,962 What kind of dildo fucks his hand? 49 00:02:45,255 --> 00:02:47,508 - Fuck you! - Why does your hand smell like butter? 50 00:02:47,591 --> 00:02:50,844 I told you to knock it off! Now, shut up before you wake up your sister! 51 00:02:50,928 --> 00:02:52,596 Dad, stop yelling! 52 00:02:52,679 --> 00:02:55,766 Go back to sleep, angel! See what you pricks did? 53 00:02:58,018 --> 00:03:00,729 I swear, they're trying to kill me. 54 00:03:00,812 --> 00:03:04,107 What's with those two? They've been at each other's throats. 55 00:03:04,191 --> 00:03:06,777 Well, I have a theory, but you're not gonna like it. 56 00:03:06,860 --> 00:03:08,278 It's Kevin. 57 00:03:08,362 --> 00:03:12,115 He's not a boy anymore and... he's getting to that age when... 58 00:03:12,199 --> 00:03:14,910 - he's... you know... - He's what? 59 00:03:14,993 --> 00:03:18,580 - He's gonna want to fuck something. - Jesus, Frank! 60 00:03:18,664 --> 00:03:20,499 I said you weren't gonna like it. 61 00:03:20,582 --> 00:03:24,086 Oh, on that note, there's no going back to sleep now. 62 00:03:24,169 --> 00:03:25,879 I better study my shorthand anyway. 63 00:03:25,963 --> 00:03:29,800 I have to take notes at the big product development meeting today. 64 00:03:29,883 --> 00:03:34,263 - And you're gonna go today, right? - Oh, Sue. 65 00:03:34,346 --> 00:03:37,766 Honey, there's no shame in filing for unemployment. 66 00:03:37,849 --> 00:03:40,018 Sure there is. It's humiliating. 67 00:03:40,102 --> 00:03:42,813 I'll be down there with a bunch of hippies with their dirty feet 68 00:03:42,896 --> 00:03:44,606 and their fucking Beatle-haircuts. 69 00:03:44,690 --> 00:03:46,400 ♪ Hello, hello Goodbye, goodbye ♪ 70 00:03:46,483 --> 00:03:48,485 That's not a song, it's a baby's first words! 71 00:03:48,569 --> 00:03:49,987 Frank, focus. 72 00:03:50,070 --> 00:03:52,447 I know you have your pride, but please go down there. 73 00:03:52,531 --> 00:03:54,324 You paid into that system your whole life. 74 00:03:54,408 --> 00:03:57,119 And they have people who will help you apply for work. 75 00:03:57,202 --> 00:03:58,745 Yeah, shit work. 76 00:03:58,829 --> 00:04:02,082 I want to provide for this family, Sue. And I'm looking for a real job. 77 00:04:02,165 --> 00:04:04,126 There's still some airlines I haven't tried. 78 00:04:04,209 --> 00:04:06,128 Pogo couldn't have blackballed me at all of them. 79 00:04:06,211 --> 00:04:08,088 You almost killed him, Frank. 80 00:04:08,171 --> 00:04:10,215 And the only thing he can reach is his phone. 81 00:04:10,299 --> 00:04:12,426 I'm pretty sure he went through his entire Rolodex. 82 00:04:12,509 --> 00:04:15,762 - Fucking Rolodex... - Frank, we need the money. 83 00:04:15,846 --> 00:04:18,015 I'm not making as much as you did at Mohican. 84 00:04:18,098 --> 00:04:20,726 Please promise me you'll go to the employment office. 85 00:04:20,809 --> 00:04:23,745 Okay. Fine. I promise. 86 00:04:23,780 --> 00:04:28,400 - I'll go be a leech. - Yes, but you're my leech. 87 00:04:30,027 --> 00:04:32,029 Oh, Sue. 88 00:04:32,112 --> 00:04:33,530 Frank. Not now. 89 00:04:33,614 --> 00:04:35,532 Okay. Suit yourself. 90 00:04:36,533 --> 00:04:37,826 How about now? 91 00:04:45,846 --> 00:04:48,831 _ 92 00:05:20,285 --> 00:05:22,329 Ow! 93 00:05:22,412 --> 00:05:25,165 Gotcha! Pussy for a pussy! 94 00:05:25,248 --> 00:05:28,526 Newsflash: fuck you! 95 00:05:30,253 --> 00:05:33,173 Get the fuck out of the street, you little motherfuck... 96 00:05:33,256 --> 00:05:35,399 Oh, hello, Bill! 97 00:05:46,019 --> 00:05:47,479 Nothing again for you this week. 98 00:05:47,562 --> 00:05:51,441 Look at all this deadweight, suckling from Uncle Sam's tit. 99 00:05:51,525 --> 00:05:53,110 Please, I need a job. 100 00:05:53,193 --> 00:05:55,570 What if I had two babies? Would that get me more? 101 00:05:55,654 --> 00:05:57,656 - I can get another baby. - I'm wearing rented shoes. 102 00:05:57,739 --> 00:06:00,283 - I don't know how we'll eat this week. - Somebody shit back here. 103 00:06:00,367 --> 00:06:02,786 - I've come every day... - I slept under another man for warmth. 104 00:06:02,869 --> 00:06:05,038 Why you giving all the good jobs to the blacks? 105 00:06:05,122 --> 00:06:07,541 Come on, Frank. Pucker up. 106 00:06:08,917 --> 00:06:11,670 - Hey, Frank Murphy! - Oh, no. 107 00:06:11,753 --> 00:06:14,381 It's me, Phineas! From the circus, remember? 108 00:06:14,464 --> 00:06:17,050 - We're union brothers. - Oh, yeah, hey. 109 00:06:17,134 --> 00:06:21,054 So, Frank, the two-headed baby told me you got fired at Christmas. 110 00:06:21,221 --> 00:06:25,434 - Yeah. - They shut us down for animal cruelty. 111 00:06:25,517 --> 00:06:28,228 We've been hitting elephants with shovels for years. 112 00:06:28,311 --> 00:06:31,481 But suddenly, you get a Democrat in office... 113 00:06:31,648 --> 00:06:33,859 Anyway, great to see you, pal. 114 00:06:33,942 --> 00:06:36,278 - Yeah, listen, I... - Fellas, this is Frank Murphy. 115 00:06:36,361 --> 00:06:38,905 He used to be the boss canvas man down at the airport, 116 00:06:38,989 --> 00:06:41,158 pulling down some sweet alfalfa. 117 00:06:41,324 --> 00:06:44,786 Now he's kipping in clown alley with no aba-daba. Ain't you, Frank? 118 00:06:44,870 --> 00:06:45,954 Please, stop saying my name. 119 00:06:46,037 --> 00:06:49,291 I understand, Frank. Embarrassed to be here, huh? 120 00:06:49,374 --> 00:06:50,709 This ain't easy. 121 00:06:50,792 --> 00:06:53,753 The most crippling thing you'll ever do is walk up to that window, 122 00:06:53,837 --> 00:06:56,089 spit up your pride and admit it: 123 00:06:56,173 --> 00:07:00,260 "I'm a complete failure. I can't support my family." 124 00:07:00,343 --> 00:07:03,096 That's when you want to crawl into a cannon, light the fuse... 125 00:07:03,180 --> 00:07:04,681 I can't do this. 126 00:07:04,764 --> 00:07:08,518 Where you going, Frank? They're about to pass out lice combs. 127 00:07:13,106 --> 00:07:16,568 Gentlemen, Stor-a-Meal absolutely murdered us last year. 128 00:07:16,651 --> 00:07:20,405 In order to compete, we'll have to do the previously unthinkable: 129 00:07:20,489 --> 00:07:22,491 come up with a new and exciting product. 130 00:07:22,574 --> 00:07:25,035 New and exciting? 131 00:07:25,118 --> 00:07:27,496 - That sounds like a lot of work. - It's easy. 132 00:07:27,579 --> 00:07:30,749 All we do is slap some new names on the old product line, 133 00:07:30,832 --> 00:07:33,543 and those pill-popping housewives won't know the difference. 134 00:07:33,627 --> 00:07:34,795 Excuse me, Tracy. 135 00:07:34,878 --> 00:07:39,216 I know it's not my place to interrupt, but I am a housewife. 136 00:07:39,299 --> 00:07:42,052 So, if I could throw in my two cents... 137 00:07:42,135 --> 00:07:45,806 I'd like to throw my two cents in her. 138 00:07:45,889 --> 00:07:48,517 Oh, of course, Sue, tell us what you think. 139 00:07:48,600 --> 00:07:50,310 We always want input from secretaries. 140 00:07:50,393 --> 00:07:54,064 "Ooh, ooh, look at me, I'm a girl! I'm entitled to my own opinion!" 141 00:07:54,147 --> 00:07:55,357 All right, settle down. 142 00:07:55,440 --> 00:07:58,235 Sue has more current field experience than any of us. 143 00:07:58,318 --> 00:08:01,530 It wouldn't kill us to listen to her. Go ahead, Sue. 144 00:08:01,613 --> 00:08:04,950 Thank you. Well, in my experience, 145 00:08:05,033 --> 00:08:08,610 the product line is a little long in the tooth, and I believe 146 00:08:08,645 --> 00:08:11,581 our customers would embrace an innovative, new product. 147 00:08:11,665 --> 00:08:14,459 - Such as? - Oh, uh... 148 00:08:14,543 --> 00:08:17,537 I don't know exactly what that is just yet. 149 00:08:22,926 --> 00:08:24,344 - Great work, Sue. - Thank you. 150 00:08:24,427 --> 00:08:26,346 You just proved to me that you have what it takes 151 00:08:26,429 --> 00:08:29,349 to handle a very special assignment. Write this down. 152 00:08:30,517 --> 00:08:33,895 Three ham sandwiches. 153 00:08:33,979 --> 00:08:37,983 One extra mayo, one hold the mustard. 154 00:08:38,066 --> 00:08:39,943 I'd like to hold her mustard! 155 00:08:44,072 --> 00:08:47,538 Gene, I'm gonna call you Detroit 'cause you're on fire! 156 00:08:52,372 --> 00:08:55,542 New from Spin-Tel Records! It's dynamite hit TNT Explosion! 157 00:08:55,625 --> 00:08:58,211 Thirty-eight original hits! The Electric Otis Box! 158 00:08:58,295 --> 00:09:01,214 ♪ My love has no max capacity ♪ 159 00:09:01,298 --> 00:09:03,466 Reid Harrison, TV's Colt Luger! 160 00:09:03,550 --> 00:09:07,095 ♪ All the girls sing Here come banana man, hey ♪ 161 00:09:07,178 --> 00:09:09,139 The sensational new Corey Mars! 162 00:09:09,222 --> 00:09:13,226 ♪ Eating cotton candy And thinking of Kristy ♪ 163 00:09:13,310 --> 00:09:15,186 Why the fuck am I watching this? 164 00:09:15,270 --> 00:09:18,356 Love means never having to say, "I have cancer." 165 00:09:18,440 --> 00:09:20,025 Oh, you are cancer. 166 00:09:20,108 --> 00:09:24,154 Mom, I did it! I'm fully employed as a mortician's assistant! 167 00:09:24,237 --> 00:09:26,615 Thank you, Funeral Academy of America! 168 00:09:26,698 --> 00:09:29,326 Getting the job of your dreams is that easy! 169 00:09:29,409 --> 00:09:30,535 No, it isn't. 170 00:09:34,039 --> 00:09:36,583 Oh, shit, I fucked up. 171 00:09:36,666 --> 00:09:38,418 Oh, shit. 172 00:09:39,294 --> 00:09:42,005 Oh, I fucked up. 173 00:09:47,177 --> 00:09:49,012 - Dad, are you crying? - Oh, Jesus! 174 00:09:49,095 --> 00:09:51,473 - What the hell are you doing here? - What are you doing here? 175 00:09:51,556 --> 00:09:53,975 It's my fucking house! Why aren't you at school? 176 00:09:54,059 --> 00:09:56,561 We got out early. We had a teacher's meeting. 177 00:09:56,645 --> 00:09:58,396 It is 9:30 in the morning. 178 00:09:58,480 --> 00:10:01,983 - Well, it's an all-day meeting. - Oh, bullshit! 179 00:10:02,067 --> 00:10:04,152 It's one fucking lie after another with you, isn't it? 180 00:10:04,235 --> 00:10:05,487 A real man doesn't lie! 181 00:10:05,570 --> 00:10:08,073 Well, how come you're not at the unemployment office? 182 00:10:08,156 --> 00:10:11,117 - Because I'm your father! - God, I hate this house! 183 00:10:11,201 --> 00:10:14,329 I'm getting out of here as soon as I turn 16! 184 00:10:14,412 --> 00:10:16,039 Good! Then give it to me in writing! 185 00:10:16,122 --> 00:10:19,542 If you're not able to spell your name, just trace your hand! 186 00:10:19,626 --> 00:10:21,211 I can't take this anymore! 187 00:10:21,294 --> 00:10:23,421 My room sucks! I got no privacy! 188 00:10:23,505 --> 00:10:26,091 Bill always wakes me up to do his stupid paper route! 189 00:10:26,174 --> 00:10:27,634 It's affecting my school work! 190 00:10:27,717 --> 00:10:30,345 Reading at a third grade level is affecting your school work, 191 00:10:30,428 --> 00:10:31,554 you fucking dope! 192 00:10:31,638 --> 00:10:34,766 I hate school! I'm not good at it! 193 00:10:34,849 --> 00:10:37,310 I only like playing my guitar! 194 00:10:37,394 --> 00:10:40,522 I'm trying to write hit records so I can save the family, 195 00:10:40,605 --> 00:10:44,025 but how can I do that with fucking Bill in the next fucking bed?! 196 00:10:44,109 --> 00:10:45,443 Whoa, whoa, whoa. 197 00:10:45,527 --> 00:10:47,404 Jesus, Kevin. Don't have a stroke. 198 00:10:47,487 --> 00:10:49,906 I'm an artist and I need room to blossom! 199 00:10:49,990 --> 00:10:51,616 Okay, okay. Relax. 200 00:10:53,785 --> 00:10:55,537 You know, I remember when I was your age... 201 00:10:55,620 --> 00:10:57,122 This isn't fucking about you! 202 00:10:57,205 --> 00:10:59,124 You're right. I'm sorry. 203 00:10:59,207 --> 00:11:01,918 Okay, look, you don't have to go back to school today. 204 00:11:02,002 --> 00:11:04,379 We'll call it a sick day. 205 00:11:04,462 --> 00:11:06,131 - Really? - Yeah. 206 00:11:06,214 --> 00:11:07,590 Thanks, Dad. 207 00:11:07,674 --> 00:11:09,634 And as long as we're being honest, 208 00:11:09,718 --> 00:11:13,763 I did go to the employment office, but I didn't sign up. 209 00:11:13,847 --> 00:11:16,307 I just left. It was too humiliating. 210 00:11:16,391 --> 00:11:19,394 - Oh, man, I'm sorry. - It's okay. 211 00:11:19,477 --> 00:11:21,855 And look, I understand what you're going through. 212 00:11:21,938 --> 00:11:24,649 - I hated my dad too. - I don't hate you. 213 00:11:24,733 --> 00:11:27,026 Well, I hated my dad. 214 00:11:30,363 --> 00:11:34,951 Look, Kevin, I'd love to help you with this room situation, but what can I do? 215 00:11:35,034 --> 00:11:37,829 - I can't put Bill in with Maureen. - Well, then it's hopeless! 216 00:11:37,912 --> 00:11:42,041 The fucking dog has his own house! There's no place for me! 217 00:11:43,460 --> 00:11:45,207 This could be a place for me. 218 00:11:46,337 --> 00:11:49,424 Oh, Kevin. You can't live here. It's full of junk. 219 00:11:49,507 --> 00:11:53,136 - It's a blank canvas. - A canvas smeared with mold. 220 00:11:53,219 --> 00:11:55,889 - I love it. - Do you smell gas? 221 00:11:55,972 --> 00:11:57,766 I smell freedom. 222 00:12:01,811 --> 00:12:06,566 When you pour your coffee in it, the Rainbow Mug changes color, 223 00:12:06,649 --> 00:12:10,028 thanks to the hundreds of chemicals in the plastic. 224 00:12:10,111 --> 00:12:11,404 You get all that, Sue? 225 00:12:11,488 --> 00:12:12,989 - Yes. - Good. 226 00:12:13,072 --> 00:12:15,241 Now eat it, shit it out, 227 00:12:15,325 --> 00:12:18,536 burn the shit and bury the shit ashes. 228 00:12:18,620 --> 00:12:20,955 Yeah, that was a shitty idea. 229 00:12:21,039 --> 00:12:23,750 - Whose was it? Whose was it? - I'm just kidding, Sue. 230 00:12:23,833 --> 00:12:25,543 Put that in the bad idea folder. 231 00:12:25,627 --> 00:12:29,266 I'd like to put a bad idea in Sue's folder! 232 00:12:29,547 --> 00:12:31,925 - How does he do it? - Okay, that's it. 233 00:12:32,008 --> 00:12:33,676 I'm not trying to be a square. 234 00:12:33,760 --> 00:12:36,638 My kids happen to think I'm very cool, but enough is enough. 235 00:12:37,722 --> 00:12:41,038 - I am not gonna take any more of this... - Afternoon, gentlemen. 236 00:12:41,039 --> 00:12:42,560 Vivian! What's shaking, honey? 237 00:12:42,644 --> 00:12:46,189 Aside from those two milk sacs you got hanging off your chest. 238 00:12:46,272 --> 00:12:47,482 You know something? 239 00:12:47,565 --> 00:12:50,276 That type of language is crude and inappropriate 240 00:12:50,360 --> 00:12:52,695 - for a professional setting. - Oh, thank God. 241 00:12:52,779 --> 00:12:55,093 So, why don't you have some class, 242 00:12:55,094 --> 00:12:57,408 you limp-dicked San Francisco cocksuckers? 243 00:12:57,492 --> 00:12:59,326 Whoo-hoo! 244 00:13:00,036 --> 00:13:02,705 Vivian, you crazy, lovable whore! 245 00:13:02,789 --> 00:13:05,375 Well, Tracy, if I was selling it, 246 00:13:05,376 --> 00:13:08,417 I'd give you the under four-inch discount. 247 00:13:08,753 --> 00:13:10,255 And if you ever do fuck me, 248 00:13:10,338 --> 00:13:13,466 leave a note down there so I know you dropped by. 249 00:13:13,550 --> 00:13:15,552 Okay, I'll leave it on the piano. 250 00:13:17,470 --> 00:13:20,515 - The piano! - You big-pussied bitch! 251 00:13:23,142 --> 00:13:27,313 - Too far? - Jesus, Gene. Let's take ten. 252 00:13:27,397 --> 00:13:29,816 Enjoy your circle jerk, you taint sniffers. 253 00:13:33,695 --> 00:13:36,322 - Okay, you can thank me now. - Thank you for what? 254 00:13:36,406 --> 00:13:38,950 - For saving your job. - Those men are all pigs. 255 00:13:39,033 --> 00:13:41,661 Yes and you better get past it if you want to stay here. 256 00:13:41,744 --> 00:13:44,414 This is their game, and we have to play along. 257 00:13:44,497 --> 00:13:46,666 Hey, Viv, do you know where my three-hole punch is? 258 00:13:46,749 --> 00:13:49,595 I don't know, Dana. Did you check your twat? 259 00:13:49,975 --> 00:13:52,052 Yeah. Yeah... 260 00:13:52,714 --> 00:13:54,340 That's all there is to it. Hm? 261 00:13:54,424 --> 00:13:56,801 They give you shit, you give it right back. 262 00:13:56,885 --> 00:13:58,428 But he wasn't giving you any shit. 263 00:13:58,511 --> 00:14:00,680 He was treating me like his fucking maid. 264 00:14:00,763 --> 00:14:03,558 You think he asked any men to help find his three-hole punch? 265 00:14:03,641 --> 00:14:06,185 And I've got more seniority than him. 266 00:14:06,269 --> 00:14:09,772 Now listen, I stuck my neck out to get you in here. 267 00:14:09,856 --> 00:14:12,650 Don't disappoint me. Play the game. 268 00:14:12,734 --> 00:14:16,362 I don't think I can do that. It's just not who I am. 269 00:14:16,446 --> 00:14:21,284 Well, "who I am" isn't going to buy you ten cents worth of groceries. 270 00:14:21,367 --> 00:14:23,494 All right, boys, we've got plastic to sell. 271 00:14:23,578 --> 00:14:26,122 Wipe the jizz off your chins and get in here. 272 00:14:26,206 --> 00:14:28,458 "Jizz off my chin!" 273 00:14:33,171 --> 00:14:34,422 Okay! 274 00:14:35,506 --> 00:14:37,258 Yeah, no more babies in this house. 275 00:14:37,259 --> 00:14:40,970 - Won't make that mistake a fourth time. - Stupid Electric Football. 276 00:14:41,054 --> 00:14:43,765 Dildos just went around in circles anyway. 277 00:14:43,848 --> 00:14:45,850 Oh, there's lots of room in here now! 278 00:14:45,934 --> 00:14:48,436 - I can almost lie down. - All right, Kevin. 279 00:14:48,519 --> 00:14:51,749 I will fix this up for you, but if you cut class again 280 00:14:51,784 --> 00:14:53,900 and lie about it, I will bury you in the backyard. 281 00:14:54,025 --> 00:14:57,237 And I will rise up, through my music! 282 00:14:57,320 --> 00:15:00,612 - Kevin. - Right. I know. Stay in school. 283 00:15:00,647 --> 00:15:04,118 "A real man never lies. Stop stealing change off your dresser." 284 00:15:04,202 --> 00:15:07,080 I fucking knew that was you. 285 00:15:10,250 --> 00:15:12,585 Oh, wow! Dad, is this you and Mom? 286 00:15:13,336 --> 00:15:16,547 - You almost look happy. - That's because you weren't born yet. 287 00:15:19,259 --> 00:15:22,720 - I sure ruined your life. - Yes! You did! 288 00:15:25,598 --> 00:15:28,601 Are you enjoying your time as a newsie? 289 00:15:28,685 --> 00:15:30,728 I don't like getting up early, 290 00:15:30,812 --> 00:15:33,147 but it's all worth it because today I get paid. 291 00:15:33,231 --> 00:15:34,649 How much do you make? 292 00:15:34,732 --> 00:15:35,692 I don't know yet. 293 00:15:35,775 --> 00:15:37,193 But the first thing I'm gonna do is, 294 00:15:37,277 --> 00:15:39,570 I'm gonna get the hockey stick that Jacques Dupuis uses. 295 00:15:39,654 --> 00:15:42,532 And if Kevin breaks this one, I'll kill him in his sleep. 296 00:15:42,615 --> 00:15:46,786 My parents won't let me play hockey, but my nana's teaching me bridge. 297 00:15:46,869 --> 00:15:49,372 Those women are brutal. 298 00:15:49,455 --> 00:15:53,001 Well, this is where my newspaper boss told me to meet him. 299 00:15:55,169 --> 00:15:57,672 - Hi, Randy. - Hey, you, freckles! 300 00:15:57,755 --> 00:16:01,050 Right on time. You're doing a great job on the route. 301 00:16:01,134 --> 00:16:03,386 Way better than the last asshole who had it. 302 00:16:03,469 --> 00:16:06,889 - Who was that? - Me! Right? 303 00:16:07,473 --> 00:16:09,767 - Who's this little fruit pie? - Hello. 304 00:16:09,851 --> 00:16:12,395 So... I guess this is when you pay me, right? 305 00:16:13,604 --> 00:16:17,567 No, you pay me and then I pay you. Here's your collection book. 306 00:16:17,692 --> 00:16:20,653 Wait, I have to collect the money? 307 00:16:20,737 --> 00:16:24,115 Yep. Welcome to the wonderful world of selling weed. 308 00:16:24,198 --> 00:16:25,450 You mean papers? 309 00:16:25,533 --> 00:16:28,411 I prefer to use a bong filled with embalming fluid. 310 00:16:28,494 --> 00:16:30,121 That's how the pharaohs did it. 311 00:16:30,204 --> 00:16:33,124 - You'll do great. Most people will pay. - Most? 312 00:16:33,207 --> 00:16:36,294 If you have any trouble, just bring Poindexter here for backup. 313 00:16:36,377 --> 00:16:40,715 Maybe he can drop his microscope on the deadbeat's foot. 314 00:16:40,840 --> 00:16:44,135 I would never do that to a precision instrument. 315 00:16:44,218 --> 00:16:46,929 Are you a cop? You have to tell me if you're a cop! 316 00:16:47,013 --> 00:16:49,599 No, I don't. That's a popular misconception! 317 00:16:52,185 --> 00:16:53,811 I could make this work, Frank. 318 00:16:53,895 --> 00:16:57,398 Rig up some wiring, spray some asbestos, 319 00:16:57,482 --> 00:17:01,527 slap on some lead paint. Kevin, you'll be in heaven in no time. 320 00:17:01,611 --> 00:17:03,237 Thanks, Babe. You're a lifesaver. 321 00:17:03,321 --> 00:17:05,114 Oh, there you are, Frank. 322 00:17:05,198 --> 00:17:07,533 I got worried when I didn't see anybody through the windows. 323 00:17:07,617 --> 00:17:12,080 We're making this my room, slash love palace, slash recording studio. 324 00:17:12,163 --> 00:17:14,936 That's great. You shoot for the stars, son. 325 00:17:14,937 --> 00:17:18,044 Never give up on your dreams. Never give up. 326 00:17:21,130 --> 00:17:23,341 Four dudes in a basement, you know it's a party. 327 00:17:23,424 --> 00:17:24,967 Come on down, Vic! 328 00:17:25,051 --> 00:17:28,262 Ooh, Canadian! Should I save this for a special occasion? 329 00:17:28,346 --> 00:17:31,516 - Life's a special occasion, Babe. - Aren't you gonna drink with us? 330 00:17:31,599 --> 00:17:35,353 No can do, fellas. I got a big meeting with my new boss at the radio station. 331 00:17:35,436 --> 00:17:38,689 Got to keep my mind clear and stay focused. 332 00:17:38,773 --> 00:17:41,818 - Jesus, Vic! - Oh, this is much better than Jesus! 333 00:17:41,901 --> 00:17:45,154 Are you listening to forbidden jazz music? 334 00:17:45,238 --> 00:17:47,907 - Hey, Mr. Hitlerburger! - Sorry, it's a little cramped. 335 00:17:47,990 --> 00:17:51,160 This is a palace compared to some basements I've lived in. 336 00:17:51,244 --> 00:17:53,538 No way! You had your own room too? 337 00:17:53,621 --> 00:17:56,124 I shared it with 14 others. 338 00:17:56,207 --> 00:17:58,292 Sounds like a non-stop party to me! 339 00:17:58,376 --> 00:18:03,548 Actually, we were all very quiet. Most of the time. 340 00:18:06,050 --> 00:18:07,093 Oh, I get it. 341 00:18:08,386 --> 00:18:11,681 It was one of those "shut up and fuck" parties! 342 00:18:15,393 --> 00:18:19,564 All right, so I expect five new product ideas from each of you 343 00:18:19,647 --> 00:18:21,107 by a week from Monday. 344 00:18:21,190 --> 00:18:24,444 Whoever comes up with the winner gets a $10 bonus, 345 00:18:24,527 --> 00:18:27,488 or ten free minutes at that whorehouse down by the quarry. 346 00:18:27,572 --> 00:18:31,951 Well, you thimble-dicked queers don't stand a chance against me. 347 00:18:32,034 --> 00:18:33,786 Vivian! 348 00:18:33,870 --> 00:18:34,871 Wait, wait. 349 00:18:34,954 --> 00:18:38,124 We can't close this meeting yet, not till Sue weighs in. 350 00:18:38,207 --> 00:18:42,879 Sue, do you have any more thoughts you want to fart out of your ears, sweetheart? 351 00:18:44,422 --> 00:18:47,675 Uh-oh! Look what you did. You made Sue upset. 352 00:18:47,758 --> 00:18:49,051 Here we go again. 353 00:18:49,135 --> 00:18:51,262 Looks like I got another quitter on my hands. 354 00:18:51,345 --> 00:18:54,932 Don't cry! Don't cry! Don't cry! Don't cry! 355 00:18:55,016 --> 00:18:58,936 Listen, I do have something I'd like to say. 356 00:18:59,020 --> 00:19:01,856 You guys may think you're the bee's knees. 357 00:19:02,440 --> 00:19:05,026 But I feel sorry for you. 358 00:19:05,526 --> 00:19:10,907 Because you are all just a bunch of ignorant, small-minded... 359 00:19:14,952 --> 00:19:16,824 cockpeople! 360 00:19:21,584 --> 00:19:22,919 Ohh! 361 00:19:23,002 --> 00:19:25,379 Sue Murphy! "Cockpeople!" 362 00:19:25,463 --> 00:19:27,548 - I love it! - Sue Murphy! 363 00:19:27,632 --> 00:19:29,670 She's a keeper! 364 00:19:55,826 --> 00:19:59,372 Not bad, Red. How do you want your cut: money or weed? 365 00:19:59,455 --> 00:20:03,918 My mom says that weeds are the desperados of the garden. 366 00:20:04,001 --> 00:20:06,337 Kid, you're not gonna get laid for a long time. 367 00:20:06,420 --> 00:20:10,007 Let's see. This is for the paper, this is for me, 368 00:20:10,091 --> 00:20:13,594 insurance, delivery fee, twine fee, folding fee, 369 00:20:13,678 --> 00:20:15,805 annual dues, stadium tax. 370 00:20:15,888 --> 00:20:19,642 Here's your cut, $5.17. 371 00:20:21,936 --> 00:20:25,439 It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. 372 00:20:26,440 --> 00:20:30,152 Of all the shoulders in all of the world, you had to sit on mine 373 00:20:30,236 --> 00:20:33,906 the one day I get invited to play golf with the boss. 374 00:20:33,990 --> 00:20:36,492 I'm just trying to earn my wings. 375 00:20:36,576 --> 00:20:39,245 And you know brothers love wings! 376 00:20:40,288 --> 00:20:42,540 Ha-ha! Yes, they do. It's true. 377 00:20:42,623 --> 00:20:43,916 - Hey, Mom! - Mom! 378 00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:45,170 - Sue! - Mommie! 379 00:20:45,235 --> 00:20:47,336 - Hey. - Mom, I got my first five bucks 380 00:20:47,337 --> 00:20:48,838 towards my hockey stick. 381 00:20:48,921 --> 00:20:51,841 I'm working on a new song. It's got a minor chord in it. 382 00:20:51,924 --> 00:20:54,969 Mommy, a policeman came to talk to Mr. Goomer today! 383 00:20:55,052 --> 00:20:57,722 What's going on here? Why is everyone so happy? 384 00:20:57,805 --> 00:20:58,889 We had a great day. 385 00:20:58,973 --> 00:21:02,935 I think I might've come up with a way to solve the Bill and Kevin situation. 386 00:21:03,019 --> 00:21:05,563 We're turning the basement into my private sanctuary. 387 00:21:05,646 --> 00:21:07,565 Wow, that would be a pretty big move. 388 00:21:07,648 --> 00:21:10,901 I had a rough day at work. I'm not ready to discuss this right now. 389 00:21:10,985 --> 00:21:12,403 I'm gonna run a bath. 390 00:21:13,821 --> 00:21:16,394 You already threw stuff out of there?! 391 00:21:16,741 --> 00:21:18,200 I just got the ball rolling. 392 00:21:18,284 --> 00:21:20,745 I got me a toilet vest. 393 00:21:20,828 --> 00:21:24,415 I'm Daddy going to one of his ghost meetings. 394 00:21:24,498 --> 00:21:28,794 - Shoo! Shoo! Get out! - I can't see what we's running from! 395 00:21:29,670 --> 00:21:32,298 Were you even gonna run this by me? 396 00:21:32,381 --> 00:21:35,468 I wanted to see the look on your face and... now I've seen it. 397 00:21:35,551 --> 00:21:39,472 How did you get all this work done today anyway? Did you go to school? 398 00:21:39,555 --> 00:21:43,684 - Yeah, I did. - Kevin. Tell me the truth. 399 00:21:43,768 --> 00:21:47,688 "A real man never lies." No, I didn't go. 400 00:21:47,772 --> 00:21:49,065 Well, that's just great! 401 00:21:49,148 --> 00:21:52,026 And I suppose you didn't go to the employment office? 402 00:21:58,240 --> 00:22:00,868 Hell yes, I did! And I resent the question! 403 00:22:01,827 --> 00:22:04,872 So you went? You filed for unemployment? 404 00:22:04,955 --> 00:22:07,667 Of course I did! I was there all morning! 405 00:22:07,750 --> 00:22:11,045 And I applied for jobs that I am waiting to hear about! 406 00:22:11,128 --> 00:22:14,632 Then I come home, I discover 40 square feet we didn't know we had. 407 00:22:14,715 --> 00:22:16,550 And what thanks do I get? 408 00:22:16,634 --> 00:22:20,604 You give me the third degree in front of my children. 409 00:22:23,808 --> 00:22:27,766 Oh, I'm sorry, Frank. I had a hard day. 410 00:22:27,801 --> 00:22:29,980 Thank you for doing what you promised. 411 00:22:32,191 --> 00:22:34,360 Yeah, I said I was gonna do it, and I did it. 412 00:22:34,443 --> 00:22:37,446 - That's what a real man does. - Of course you did. 413 00:22:38,406 --> 00:22:40,574 You can learn something from your father. 414 00:22:41,409 --> 00:22:44,995 Oh, I learned something. Liar! 415 00:22:46,330 --> 00:22:50,126 Real man, my ass. Fucking dick! 416 00:22:55,840 --> 00:22:59,885 Honey, I'm sorry again for thinking you didn't sign up at the employment office. 417 00:23:00,511 --> 00:23:03,097 I shouldn't have taken my bad day out on you. 418 00:23:03,180 --> 00:23:06,392 Well, I think I've done that once or twice. 419 00:23:07,017 --> 00:23:08,144 Good night! 420 00:23:10,104 --> 00:23:14,275 - Frank, I hate my job. - God, I miss that feeling. 421 00:23:14,358 --> 00:23:15,776 But I'm not going to quit. 422 00:23:15,860 --> 00:23:18,446 I'll do whatever it takes to put bread on the table, 423 00:23:18,529 --> 00:23:21,157 - just like you did today. - Ah. It was nothing. 424 00:23:21,866 --> 00:23:25,286 Sue, I'm a little tired. I'm gonna turn in. 425 00:23:29,123 --> 00:23:31,208 I missed you today. 426 00:23:32,585 --> 00:23:34,795 I work with such animals. 427 00:23:36,130 --> 00:23:38,340 God, you're a real man. 428 00:23:38,924 --> 00:23:42,011 - A good man. - Oh, I'm okay. 429 00:23:43,220 --> 00:23:45,556 Remember this morning, what you wanted to do? 430 00:23:46,640 --> 00:23:48,768 - Oh, yeah? - Oh, Frank. 431 00:23:48,851 --> 00:23:50,019 Oh, Frank! 432 00:23:50,978 --> 00:23:53,856 - Oh, God, Sue. - Oh, oh, my God. 433 00:23:53,939 --> 00:23:56,692 Oh, you're such a good man. Honest and good. 434 00:23:56,776 --> 00:23:59,487 Tell me you're my good man! 435 00:23:59,570 --> 00:24:02,031 - I'm okay. - No, you're a good man! 436 00:24:02,114 --> 00:24:04,700 So dependable and trustworthy! 437 00:24:04,783 --> 00:24:07,620 A role model to your children! 438 00:24:07,703 --> 00:24:10,915 - You keep your promises! - Talk about other stuff, Sue! 439 00:24:10,998 --> 00:24:13,751 Oh. Oh, no. What's wrong, honey? 440 00:24:14,460 --> 00:24:15,753 Did I do something? 441 00:24:15,836 --> 00:24:19,840 No. It's not you. It's... It's nothing. It's nothing. 442 00:24:19,924 --> 00:24:22,468 - Frank, what is it? - I... 443 00:24:22,551 --> 00:24:24,887 I'm just tired. Sorry. 444 00:24:28,224 --> 00:24:31,352 - Is everything okay? - Yeah. 445 00:24:32,645 --> 00:24:34,745 I fucking hate myself. 446 00:24:35,064 --> 00:24:38,651 ♪ What happens when the wizard lies? ♪ 447 00:24:38,734 --> 00:24:42,196 ♪ And the young apprentice cries? ♪ 448 00:24:46,033 --> 00:24:50,037 ♪ And the evil wizard lied for years ♪ 449 00:24:50,120 --> 00:24:53,207 ♪ And his bullshit took its toll ♪ 450 00:24:56,836 --> 00:24:58,879 Mr. Greenwood, my name's Frank Murphy. 451 00:24:58,963 --> 00:25:02,380 My friend, Rosie, gave me your number and... 452 00:25:03,259 --> 00:25:04,969 I really need a job. 453 00:25:05,848 --> 00:25:08,303 I need one bad. 454 00:25:10,741 --> 00:25:15,145 ♪ And the lie was that his face was young ♪ 455 00:25:15,229 --> 00:25:19,608 ♪ But it couldn't hide his weathered soul ♪ 456 00:25:21,151 --> 00:25:23,946 You're the wizard, you dildo. 457 00:25:24,029 --> 00:25:27,074 And your spell over me is gone. 458 00:25:27,157 --> 00:25:29,702 Like a candle's flame. 459 00:25:33,497 --> 00:25:34,832 Well, you're all wired up, Kevin. 460 00:25:36,083 --> 00:25:38,043 I need privacy! 461 00:25:38,127 --> 00:25:40,880 Yeah, this wiring will last you a good long while. 462 00:25:40,963 --> 00:25:44,216 You could hook up a space heater in here, maybe even a jukebox. 463 00:25:44,300 --> 00:25:46,594 Hey, that was nice of Vic bringing those Canadian beers, wasn't it? 464 00:25:46,677 --> 00:25:49,388 Hey, does he ever invite you over to go swimming? Boy, that'd be fun. 465 00:25:49,471 --> 00:25:51,348 - Shut up. - Hey, next time you go over there, 466 00:25:51,432 --> 00:25:53,142 let me know, will ya? I wouldn't have to swim. 467 00:25:53,225 --> 00:25:55,978 I could just sit there and watch. Yeah, I wouldn't say a word. 468 00:25:56,061 --> 00:26:00,741 I'd just, you know, sip a beverage or eat some pretzels... and be real still. 469 00:26:01,108 --> 00:26:05,112 Yeah, I'm good at that. When I was in high school I got voted "Most Quiet." 470 00:26:05,195 --> 00:26:08,845 - Shut the fuck up! - Boy, those were the great days. 471 00:26:08,846 --> 00:26:10,576 I went to the old high school. 472 00:26:10,659 --> 00:26:13,337 That's where they house the mentally deformed adults now. 473 00:26:14,038 --> 00:26:17,038 sync & correction by f1nc0 ~ Addic7ed.com ~