1 00:00:04,004 --> 00:00:06,507 - Andy, my phone is Amelia Earhart. 2 00:00:06,540 --> 00:00:08,276 Totally M.I.A. 3 00:00:08,309 --> 00:00:11,379 - Actually, scientists just found female remains in Kiribati 4 00:00:11,412 --> 00:00:13,414 and believe she might have died a castaway. 5 00:00:13,447 --> 00:00:14,415 I sent you the link. 6 00:00:14,448 --> 00:00:16,284 - There are going to be Andy remains in here 7 00:00:16,317 --> 00:00:17,518 if you don't help me find my phone. 8 00:00:17,551 --> 00:00:18,519 - I'm sure it's here somehwere. 9 00:00:18,552 --> 00:00:20,521 - Do you have a secret stash of trash bags? 10 00:00:20,554 --> 00:00:22,256 I think we're all out. 11 00:00:22,290 --> 00:00:24,525 [intercom buzzes] 12 00:00:24,558 --> 00:00:25,426 - Hello? 13 00:00:25,459 --> 00:00:26,460 [Vanessa through intercom] Let's roll. 14 00:00:26,494 --> 00:00:28,329 Los Angelenos aren't going to judge themselves. 15 00:00:28,362 --> 00:00:29,397 - Okay coming! 16 00:00:29,430 --> 00:00:30,331 - Hon, what time's your flight? 17 00:00:30,364 --> 00:00:31,332 - Eight twenty five. 18 00:00:31,365 --> 00:00:32,400 Can you call my phone? 19 00:00:32,433 --> 00:00:34,202 - You got to go! 20 00:00:34,235 --> 00:00:36,304 [cell phone rings] 21 00:00:36,337 --> 00:00:38,372 - Hazel, seriously? 22 00:00:38,406 --> 00:00:39,373 - I wouldn't have to steal your phone 23 00:00:39,407 --> 00:00:40,408 if I had my own. 24 00:00:40,441 --> 00:00:42,176 - Hell to the not now. 25 00:00:42,210 --> 00:00:43,377 - Hun, do you think I should leave work early 26 00:00:43,411 --> 00:00:45,079 for Hazel's half day or call a sitter? 27 00:00:45,113 --> 00:00:47,148 - Andy, I have faith that you can handle 28 00:00:47,181 --> 00:00:50,151 being a single parent for 48 hours. 29 00:00:50,184 --> 00:00:51,585 - If I had my own phone I could get myself a car. 30 00:00:51,619 --> 00:00:53,187 - See, that's how it starts, 31 00:00:53,221 --> 00:00:56,290 and then it goes into duck-face Instagram selfies, 32 00:00:56,324 --> 00:00:58,159 and God forbid Snapchat, 33 00:00:58,192 --> 00:01:00,494 where you think your stories disappear, 34 00:01:00,528 --> 00:01:02,463 but nothing disappears, Hazel. 35 00:01:02,496 --> 00:01:03,464 Nothing! 36 00:01:03,497 --> 00:01:04,332 - Please, Mom! 37 00:01:04,365 --> 00:01:05,199 - No! 38 00:01:05,233 --> 00:01:06,234 - [screaming] Ugh! 39 00:01:06,267 --> 00:01:07,301 - [screaming] Blah! 40 00:01:07,335 --> 00:01:08,436 - We'll discuss this another time. 41 00:01:08,469 --> 00:01:09,437 - We just discussed it. 42 00:01:09,470 --> 00:01:10,671 [intercom incessantly buzzes] 43 00:01:10,704 --> 00:01:11,872 - Ugh! 44 00:01:11,905 --> 00:01:13,307 - Love you! 45 00:01:13,341 --> 00:01:14,442 - Love you, too! 46 00:01:14,475 --> 00:01:18,612 [theme music] * Hey yes you know 47 00:01:18,646 --> 00:01:22,082 * I'm feeling fine I'm feeling fine * 48 00:01:28,922 --> 00:01:30,558 - Why is this line so long? 49 00:01:30,591 --> 00:01:33,194 I thought people in LA didn't eat solid food. 50 00:01:33,227 --> 00:01:34,695 - Because this food truck has a better publicist 51 00:01:34,728 --> 00:01:36,464 than Chrissy Teigen. 52 00:01:36,497 --> 00:01:38,332 - It's 75 degrees out. 53 00:01:38,366 --> 00:01:40,468 Do you think that guy is cold or bald? 54 00:01:40,501 --> 00:01:42,603 - Oh, I think that's a slasher. 55 00:01:42,636 --> 00:01:44,472 - Like a murderer? 56 00:01:44,505 --> 00:01:46,640 - No, like a model slash actor slash 57 00:01:46,674 --> 00:01:49,277 barista at the Pressed Douchery. 58 00:01:49,310 --> 00:01:50,644 - Is it bad I'd still bang him? 59 00:01:50,678 --> 00:01:53,247 - The vag wants what it wants. 60 00:01:53,281 --> 00:01:54,582 - It wants out-of-town sex. 61 00:01:54,615 --> 00:01:55,616 It's always so much better. 62 00:01:55,649 --> 00:01:56,584 - Next! 63 00:01:56,617 --> 00:02:00,154 Welcome to Slurger where size does matter. 64 00:02:00,188 --> 00:02:02,423 - Okay, what exactly is a slurger? 65 00:02:02,456 --> 00:02:04,225 - It's smaller than a burger, 66 00:02:04,258 --> 00:02:05,493 but bigger than a slider, 67 00:02:05,526 --> 00:02:08,229 so it's better for you and the environment. 68 00:02:08,262 --> 00:02:09,263 - Happy to do our part. 69 00:02:09,297 --> 00:02:10,698 So how many do you recommend? 70 00:02:10,731 --> 00:02:13,234 - Most people are satisfied after one and a half. 71 00:02:13,267 --> 00:02:14,568 - Great, we'll take three. 72 00:02:14,602 --> 00:02:17,938 - Slurgers are only sold in even numbers. 73 00:02:17,971 --> 00:02:20,608 - My blood sugar is lower than Satan's nutsack. 74 00:02:20,641 --> 00:02:21,775 - We'll take four. 75 00:02:21,809 --> 00:02:23,644 - Give me four slurgers. 76 00:02:24,245 --> 00:02:25,779 - I got this. 77 00:02:25,813 --> 00:02:28,249 [phone beeps] 78 00:02:28,282 --> 00:02:29,650 - I couldn't do this city without you. 79 00:02:29,683 --> 00:02:31,185 Thank you so much for coming. 80 00:02:31,219 --> 00:02:32,253 - Are you kidding? 81 00:02:32,286 --> 00:02:34,588 Thank you for giving up a business class ticket. 82 00:02:34,622 --> 00:02:35,523 We haven't traveled together 83 00:02:35,556 --> 00:02:38,326 since we celebrated my divorce across Europe. 84 00:02:38,359 --> 00:02:40,361 - I wonder if we're still banned from Prague. 85 00:02:40,394 --> 00:02:41,729 We used to be so much fun. 86 00:02:41,762 --> 00:02:43,364 - We still are. 87 00:02:43,397 --> 00:02:44,665 You go nail your fashion shoot 88 00:02:44,698 --> 00:02:46,300 then we'll party till dawn. 89 00:02:46,334 --> 00:02:47,701 - Four slurgers! 90 00:02:51,004 --> 00:02:52,105 - You wanted to see me, Dr. V? 91 00:02:52,139 --> 00:02:55,309 - Yes. Thanks to an influx of anonymous investments, 92 00:02:55,343 --> 00:02:56,744 we are looking to accelerate the mission. 93 00:02:56,777 --> 00:02:57,811 - By how much? 94 00:02:57,845 --> 00:02:59,313 - Three years. 95 00:02:59,347 --> 00:03:01,515 If we can perfect the landing 96 00:03:01,549 --> 00:03:03,584 so the shuttle doesn't explode upon impact, 97 00:03:03,617 --> 00:03:05,286 we hope to launch by the end of this quarter. 98 00:03:05,319 --> 00:03:06,587 - Oh, wow. 99 00:03:06,620 --> 00:03:07,621 - Which is why this final test 100 00:03:07,655 --> 00:03:09,657 is more crucial than ever. 101 00:03:09,690 --> 00:03:11,725 - If selected, you will travel farther and longer 102 00:03:11,759 --> 00:03:14,228 than any human ever has. 103 00:03:14,262 --> 00:03:17,331 Being more isolated and confined than we can fathom. 104 00:03:17,365 --> 00:03:18,566 - I got this. 105 00:03:18,599 --> 00:03:20,268 - I hope so recruit von Weber. 106 00:03:20,301 --> 00:03:22,703 I've seen the strongest recruits crack due to 107 00:03:22,736 --> 00:03:26,340 claustrophobia and unresolved childhood trauma. 108 00:03:26,374 --> 00:03:28,342 - Whatever it is, I'm ready for it. 109 00:03:28,376 --> 00:03:30,744 Now let's get up in there and show Mars what's up. 110 00:03:30,778 --> 00:03:32,713 Earth on three. 111 00:03:34,415 --> 00:03:38,452 - Recruit von Weber, entering isolation chamber. 112 00:03:42,523 --> 00:03:45,593 - All right MarsX, 113 00:03:45,626 --> 00:03:48,629 meet Mars Lex! 114 00:03:49,630 --> 00:03:52,466 [The Blue Danube Waltz plays] 115 00:03:52,500 --> 00:03:53,701 - Vital signs normal. 116 00:03:53,734 --> 00:03:56,537 Commencing The Matt Damon Challenge. 117 00:03:56,570 --> 00:04:03,511 - Oh, it seems we have a stowaway. 118 00:04:03,544 --> 00:04:08,782 [The Blue Danube Waltz continues to play] 119 00:04:08,816 --> 00:04:10,651 -Wanna play catch? 120 00:04:10,684 --> 00:04:13,454 My brother, Andy, taught me how to throw. 121 00:04:13,487 --> 00:04:15,423 We used to play catch all the time. 122 00:04:15,456 --> 00:04:20,494 Hmm? Ah, no, no, Dad never came. 123 00:04:20,528 --> 00:04:23,397 [clears throat] 124 00:04:23,431 --> 00:04:24,432 - Fifteen minutes in. 125 00:04:24,465 --> 00:04:28,268 Recruit exhibiting signs of mental fragility. 126 00:04:29,470 --> 00:04:31,472 Andy: This is such a nice surprise. 127 00:04:31,505 --> 00:04:32,873 To what do I owe the pleasure? 128 00:04:32,906 --> 00:04:35,309 - Well, as you know I'm launching launch Von Weber 129 00:04:35,343 --> 00:04:38,078 boutiques in every Saks in the country. 130 00:04:38,111 --> 00:04:40,648 So, I have been noodling something 131 00:04:40,681 --> 00:04:44,518 and I need investment banker contacts. 132 00:04:44,552 --> 00:04:45,853 - Brooke, Are you talking about an IPO? 133 00:04:45,886 --> 00:04:47,588 - Oh, no, no, no. 134 00:04:47,621 --> 00:04:48,756 The first rule of going public 135 00:04:48,789 --> 00:04:50,458 is you don't talk about it in public. 136 00:04:50,491 --> 00:04:52,660 - That's really exciting. 137 00:04:52,693 --> 00:04:53,927 I'll make some email introductions. 138 00:04:53,961 --> 00:04:55,663 - Thank you. 139 00:04:55,696 --> 00:04:56,864 - And I'm very touched 140 00:04:56,897 --> 00:04:58,799 that you would come to me with Lex gone. 141 00:04:58,832 --> 00:05:00,401 - How are you holding up without Jill? 142 00:05:00,434 --> 00:05:02,403 - So far so good. 143 00:05:02,436 --> 00:05:04,472 How much can I mess up in one day? 144 00:05:04,505 --> 00:05:05,406 - I guess the fact that Candace 145 00:05:05,439 --> 00:05:07,375 has taken an interest helps. 146 00:05:07,408 --> 00:05:10,478 She and Hazel have been Instagraming up a storm today. 147 00:05:10,511 --> 00:05:11,845 - Mother has an Instagram account? 148 00:05:11,879 --> 00:05:13,547 - No, Hazel does. 149 00:05:13,581 --> 00:05:15,416 I just started following her this afternoon. 150 00:05:15,449 --> 00:05:21,722 She's funny. Here, read this. See? Edgy. 151 00:05:21,755 --> 00:05:23,391 - I'm a dead man. 152 00:05:23,424 --> 00:05:24,692 Jill told Hazel no cellphones. 153 00:05:24,725 --> 00:05:26,427 Mother must have gotten her one. 154 00:05:26,460 --> 00:05:29,530 - Candace got what for Hazel? 155 00:05:29,563 --> 00:05:30,598 - It's Jill. What do I do? 156 00:05:30,631 --> 00:05:31,799 - You man up and handle it. 157 00:05:31,832 --> 00:05:34,868 - Right. 158 00:05:36,804 --> 00:05:39,707 - Vaness, I'm back. 159 00:05:39,740 --> 00:05:42,776 You look scalding hot! 160 00:05:42,810 --> 00:05:45,145 - Thank you. How was the shoot? 161 00:05:45,178 --> 00:05:48,749 - It was not easy, but it was a success. 162 00:05:48,782 --> 00:05:50,551 - These are amazing! 163 00:05:50,584 --> 00:05:52,720 Who would have thought someone so anti-animal 164 00:05:52,753 --> 00:05:56,457 could capture the humanity of a pug with a perm? 165 00:05:56,490 --> 00:05:57,425 - I spent all day with them 166 00:05:57,458 --> 00:05:59,860 and I still don't see the appeal of pets: 167 00:05:59,893 --> 00:06:01,395 they don't laugh at your jokes 168 00:06:01,429 --> 00:06:02,930 and did not raise an ironic eyebrow 169 00:06:02,963 --> 00:06:05,833 when served Purrgers for lunch. 170 00:06:05,866 --> 00:06:06,867 - Purrgers? 171 00:06:06,900 --> 00:06:09,470 - Slurgers has another truck for the pet set. 172 00:06:09,503 --> 00:06:12,606 This town is just so ridiculous. 173 00:06:12,640 --> 00:06:13,240 - Is that why you look like 174 00:06:13,273 --> 00:06:14,742 somebody stole your bike? 175 00:06:14,775 --> 00:06:17,711 - No, I just couldn't even be here without Andy. 176 00:06:17,745 --> 00:06:19,947 He's control-top- panty-hose-supportive 177 00:06:19,980 --> 00:06:21,615 and I totally snapped at him. 178 00:06:21,649 --> 00:06:23,617 And I totally yelled at Hazel. 179 00:06:23,651 --> 00:06:25,619 I don't want my uterus to cock block yours. 180 00:06:25,653 --> 00:06:26,620 You should go without me. 181 00:06:26,654 --> 00:06:27,688 - No way! 182 00:06:27,721 --> 00:06:29,823 - Yeah, I think I should just order room service 183 00:06:29,857 --> 00:06:31,492 and try Andy again. 184 00:06:31,525 --> 00:06:32,426 Don't hate me? 185 00:06:32,460 --> 00:06:35,028 - Never. But if I'm losing my wing woman 186 00:06:35,062 --> 00:06:37,465 I gotta up my shoe game. 187 00:06:42,836 --> 00:06:43,904 - Hey, honey. How's it going? 188 00:06:43,937 --> 00:06:46,540 - I've been trying you all day, is everything okay? 189 00:06:46,574 --> 00:06:47,908 - Everything's perfect. 190 00:06:47,941 --> 00:06:49,777 Miles is practicing the recorder, 191 00:06:49,810 --> 00:06:52,680 Dottie's putting the finishing touches 192 00:06:52,713 --> 00:06:53,914 on her Empire State Building 193 00:06:53,947 --> 00:06:54,815 and I even picked up trash bags. 194 00:06:54,848 --> 00:06:57,050 Glad ones with the 5 day odor control! 195 00:06:57,084 --> 00:06:59,620 - I wish we had those when the twins were in diapers. 196 00:06:59,653 --> 00:07:01,221 - Hey, so how'd the Petwigs shoot go? 197 00:07:01,254 --> 00:07:03,624 - Great, but I miss you guys. 198 00:07:03,657 --> 00:07:06,026 And I'm so sorry about this morning. 199 00:07:06,059 --> 00:07:07,761 - Aw honey. Don't worry about it. 200 00:07:07,795 --> 00:07:08,796 We miss you too. 201 00:07:08,829 --> 00:07:10,063 - Even Hazel? 202 00:07:10,097 --> 00:07:11,865 Can I talk to her? 203 00:07:11,899 --> 00:07:16,470 - Yeah, Hazel honey, your mom wants to talk to you. 204 00:07:16,504 --> 00:07:18,872 - Hi, Mommy. Can I have a cellphone? 205 00:07:18,906 --> 00:07:21,675 - What? What is with you kids? No Miles. 206 00:07:21,709 --> 00:07:24,745 - Why not? Candace got Hazel one. 207 00:07:26,714 --> 00:07:28,816 - Put your father on the phone. 208 00:07:28,849 --> 00:07:33,621 - Daddy, Mommy wants to talk to you. 209 00:07:33,654 --> 00:07:35,255 - Hi hon. 210 00:07:35,288 --> 00:07:37,625 - Everything is perfect, Superdad? 211 00:07:37,658 --> 00:07:39,527 - Nothing to report? 212 00:07:39,560 --> 00:07:40,928 - Honey, look I can explain everything. 213 00:07:40,961 --> 00:07:42,630 - I don't want to hear it. 214 00:07:42,663 --> 00:07:43,664 - You still want to talk to Hazel? 215 00:07:43,697 --> 00:07:47,535 - I don't want to talk to any Webers right now. 216 00:07:47,568 --> 00:07:49,102 Vanessa, I'm coming! 217 00:07:49,136 --> 00:07:52,039 - So I should keep the dinner rez? 218 00:07:52,072 --> 00:07:53,941 - Eff dinner. Let's get shit faced. 219 00:07:55,242 --> 00:07:58,111 - Recruit exhibiting congnitive dissonance. 220 00:07:58,145 --> 00:08:00,581 - [laughing hysterically] You don't get it, Wilson. 221 00:08:00,614 --> 00:08:03,083 The only thing I know about my dad was that 222 00:08:03,116 --> 00:08:05,018 he was always working 223 00:08:05,052 --> 00:08:07,555 or running around with some secretary or 224 00:08:07,588 --> 00:08:09,623 doing some pointless adventure 225 00:08:09,657 --> 00:08:14,628 to fill his empty, stupid life. 226 00:08:14,662 --> 00:08:19,199 I mean- huh? No! Take it back. 227 00:08:19,232 --> 00:08:23,671 I am not like him. Wilson! Take it back! 228 00:08:24,938 --> 00:08:29,242 Wilson! Wilson! 229 00:08:29,276 --> 00:08:31,645 I'm not like my dad. 230 00:08:31,679 --> 00:08:33,146 ["Moonlight Sonata" plays] 231 00:08:33,180 --> 00:08:34,181 Wilson! 232 00:08:38,652 --> 00:08:40,187 I'm not like my dad. 233 00:08:42,055 --> 00:08:47,928 ["Moonlight Sonata" continues] 234 00:08:50,130 --> 00:08:53,166 [lively rock music plays] 235 00:08:55,002 --> 00:08:57,771 - Thank you, Sunset Strip, 236 00:08:57,805 --> 00:08:59,640 for resisting the winds of change. 237 00:08:59,673 --> 00:09:01,174 Same beer piss smell, 238 00:09:01,208 --> 00:09:04,612 same mediocre band squeaking through sound check. 239 00:09:04,645 --> 00:09:06,179 Same tramp stamped ass cracks 240 00:09:06,213 --> 00:09:08,048 hanging out of Daisy Dukes. 241 00:09:08,081 --> 00:09:09,783 - Last time we were here it wasn't a mediocre band, 242 00:09:09,817 --> 00:09:11,652 it was Metallica. 243 00:09:11,685 --> 00:09:13,954 - Forgive me, I was blackout. 244 00:09:13,987 --> 00:09:16,189 - Tonight we party like it's 1995. 245 00:09:16,223 --> 00:09:20,060 - Yes! May I please see your wine list? 246 00:09:20,093 --> 00:09:22,062 - Two Long Island iced teas. 247 00:09:26,166 --> 00:09:28,702 [squeals of delight] 248 00:09:28,736 --> 00:09:30,804 Jill: Best LA night ever! 249 00:09:30,838 --> 00:09:33,774 I can't believe you gave that Hot Rocker guy your number. 250 00:09:33,807 --> 00:09:35,242 - He was a really good kisser. 251 00:09:35,275 --> 00:09:37,344 - Hey, I just had Zack Braff in here 252 00:09:37,377 --> 00:09:38,345 and he's directing a commercial he thought 253 00:09:38,378 --> 00:09:39,647 I'd be great for. 254 00:09:39,680 --> 00:09:41,181 - Oh, congrats. 255 00:09:41,214 --> 00:09:43,083 - So I've gotta record a voice-over audition, 256 00:09:43,116 --> 00:09:44,752 if you two could zip it for a few. 257 00:09:44,785 --> 00:09:46,186 - Are you serious? 258 00:09:46,219 --> 00:09:49,690 [trills tongue] 259 00:09:49,723 --> 00:09:52,025 Buh-duh-guh-duh. Buh-dug-guh-duh. 260 00:09:52,059 --> 00:09:55,362 How now brown cow? 261 00:09:55,395 --> 00:09:57,064 - I think he's serious. 262 00:09:57,097 --> 00:09:59,032 - Take one. 263 00:09:59,066 --> 00:10:01,735 If you're a man with unfortunately small hands, 264 00:10:01,769 --> 00:10:06,640 but still want a glove with masculine style- shit. 265 00:10:06,674 --> 00:10:08,709 Take two. 266 00:10:08,742 --> 00:10:11,779 If you're a man with unfortunately small hands 267 00:10:11,812 --> 00:10:13,847 but still want a glove- 268 00:10:13,881 --> 00:10:15,849 [car horn honks] 269 00:10:15,883 --> 00:10:17,117 Take three. 270 00:10:17,150 --> 00:10:18,786 - I'ma take three stars off your rating 271 00:10:18,819 --> 00:10:22,389 for telling customers to "zip it". 272 00:10:22,422 --> 00:10:23,724 Driver: We're here. 273 00:10:23,757 --> 00:10:26,259 Jill: Good luck with Zach! 274 00:10:31,765 --> 00:10:35,202 Hey! We want to go to the Sunset Tower, 275 00:10:35,235 --> 00:10:37,270 not 9021-Ho, Dennis. 276 00:10:37,304 --> 00:10:40,407 - My name is Justin, not Dennis. 277 00:10:40,440 --> 00:10:42,876 D'Anthony?! 278 00:10:42,910 --> 00:10:45,378 - We got in the wrong car! 279 00:10:45,412 --> 00:10:48,215 That's what we get for womaning up 280 00:10:48,248 --> 00:10:50,183 and deleting the Uber app. 281 00:10:50,217 --> 00:10:52,419 - I was so ready to dive my face 282 00:10:52,452 --> 00:10:54,888 into a plate of room service french fries. 283 00:10:54,922 --> 00:11:01,428 - It says there's a car either 5 or 55 minutes away. 284 00:11:01,461 --> 00:11:05,065 It's 5...5. - Oh shit! 285 00:11:05,098 --> 00:11:06,233 - Is that Dave Navarro? 286 00:11:06,266 --> 00:11:07,901 - I love him so much. 287 00:11:07,935 --> 00:11:10,303 His music got me through all my teenage heartbreaks! 288 00:11:10,337 --> 00:11:12,072 I'm going in there. 289 00:11:12,105 --> 00:11:13,774 - To a strip club? 290 00:11:13,807 --> 00:11:15,776 - Nothing makes me saddens me more than a woman 291 00:11:15,809 --> 00:11:18,779 with dolla dolla bills in her ass crack, 292 00:11:18,812 --> 00:11:22,349 but if I don't say hi I will never forgive myself. 293 00:11:22,382 --> 00:11:24,184 - Let's do it! 294 00:11:24,217 --> 00:11:27,821 [ambiant strip club sounds] 295 00:11:29,356 --> 00:11:31,158 - No-varro! 296 00:11:31,191 --> 00:11:33,326 How does a rockstar just vanish into thin air? 297 00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:35,462 - Are we staying 'cause I'll get wings. 298 00:11:35,495 --> 00:11:37,831 - Ugh, people don't eat here! 299 00:11:37,865 --> 00:11:40,267 - Strip clubs have the best wings. 300 00:11:40,300 --> 00:11:42,369 - I clitorally can't even. 301 00:11:42,402 --> 00:11:44,237 - What are you two drinking? 302 00:11:44,271 --> 00:11:45,138 That group of guys over there 303 00:11:45,172 --> 00:11:47,274 wants to buy you a round. 304 00:11:47,307 --> 00:11:50,143 - I'm loving this city. 305 00:11:50,177 --> 00:11:52,813 - Kamikazes, for old times' sake. 306 00:11:52,846 --> 00:11:54,882 - Woo! And wings please! 307 00:11:54,915 --> 00:12:00,921 Emcee: Let's hear it for Whorey Spelling. 308 00:12:00,954 --> 00:12:03,356 [cheers and applause] - Woo! Whorey! 309 00:12:03,390 --> 00:12:07,895 11 o'clock! My 15-year-old self's crush. 310 00:12:07,928 --> 00:12:12,132 [sighs] 311 00:12:14,868 --> 00:12:16,236 He's Houdini! 312 00:12:16,269 --> 00:12:17,938 And I'm starting to feel like 313 00:12:17,971 --> 00:12:19,306 we're in a David Lynch movie. 314 00:12:19,339 --> 00:12:21,341 - And I'm getting strong tapeworm vibes 315 00:12:21,374 --> 00:12:22,976 from those bacon wrapped hot dogs, 316 00:12:23,010 --> 00:12:25,946 but I'm so hungry it might be worth it. 317 00:12:25,979 --> 00:12:27,347 [text message ping] 318 00:12:27,380 --> 00:12:30,317 Or I just got a text from Hot Rocker Guy 319 00:12:30,350 --> 00:12:32,152 inviting us to a party. 320 00:12:32,185 --> 00:12:35,455 - No, you're gonna go get laid and I'm gonna be stuck 321 00:12:35,488 --> 00:12:37,891 holding some guy named Dov's iguana 322 00:12:37,925 --> 00:12:40,961 while he vapes and makes me watch his webseries. 323 00:12:40,994 --> 00:12:43,964 - No, what if we make this the night of yes 324 00:12:43,997 --> 00:12:46,466 and go wherever it takes us? 325 00:12:46,499 --> 00:12:48,936 - Yeah, right now, mothers everywhere are 326 00:12:48,969 --> 00:12:52,472 tethered to their sleeping children with no hope 327 00:12:52,505 --> 00:12:56,309 of salvation but to pickle themselves in wine. 328 00:12:56,343 --> 00:12:58,846 So for moms everywhere, 329 00:12:58,879 --> 00:13:01,581 let's party! 330 00:13:01,614 --> 00:13:02,983 - Unless it sucks. 331 00:13:03,016 --> 00:13:05,352 Then we leave. 332 00:13:05,385 --> 00:13:08,989 [dance music] 333 00:13:09,022 --> 00:13:11,191 - This does not suck! 334 00:13:15,295 --> 00:13:17,364 [dance music] 335 00:13:17,397 --> 00:13:22,235 - So far I've seen Jenny Aniston, Tatum Channing, 336 00:13:22,269 --> 00:13:24,905 and I heard Breckin Meyer was bartending, 337 00:13:24,938 --> 00:13:25,973 but no Hot Rocker Guy. 338 00:13:26,006 --> 00:13:28,341 What's his name again? Trent? 339 00:13:28,375 --> 00:13:30,243 - If your name's Trent you have to be a hot rocker. 340 00:13:30,277 --> 00:13:32,212 He was hot right? 341 00:13:32,245 --> 00:13:35,215 - All I saw was hair and tonsil hockey. 342 00:13:36,483 --> 00:13:40,320 - Hey, Vanessa. - Hey...you. 343 00:13:40,353 --> 00:13:42,055 This is an amazing house. 344 00:13:42,089 --> 00:13:44,424 - Yeah, it's Tom Morello's but Zac Efron's assistant, 345 00:13:44,457 --> 00:13:46,359 he's house sitting. 346 00:13:46,393 --> 00:13:48,061 Can I give you a tour? 347 00:13:48,095 --> 00:13:50,230 - I'd like that. 348 00:13:55,335 --> 00:13:57,270 - Hey, I'm Dylan. 349 00:13:57,304 --> 00:13:58,972 - Oh, hi, I'm Jill. 350 00:13:59,006 --> 00:14:00,073 - Nice to meet you. 351 00:14:00,107 --> 00:14:02,876 Listen, we're about to get started on the real fun, 352 00:14:02,910 --> 00:14:04,177 did you want to be teamed up? 353 00:14:04,211 --> 00:14:08,081 - Oh thanks, but I'ma just do "me" tonight, 354 00:14:08,115 --> 00:14:09,482 but you guys should totally do each other. 355 00:14:09,516 --> 00:14:10,918 No judgement. 356 00:14:10,951 --> 00:14:14,321 - We're not poly. 357 00:14:14,354 --> 00:14:17,157 I mean, Jake and Gaby and Nadia are poly, 358 00:14:17,190 --> 00:14:20,093 but we were just going to get into some running charades. 359 00:14:20,127 --> 00:14:23,330 - Well tonight's the night of yes, so...yes! 360 00:14:23,363 --> 00:14:25,265 - Okay! 361 00:14:27,434 --> 00:14:29,236 - Take your shirt off. 362 00:14:29,269 --> 00:14:31,471 - You take your shirt off 363 00:14:34,274 --> 00:14:37,945 Okay, I'll take shirt off now. 364 00:14:38,345 --> 00:14:40,447 - Jake! Gaby! Nadia! All eyes on Justin. 365 00:14:40,480 --> 00:14:42,382 . You can follow that other throuple 366 00:14:42,415 --> 00:14:43,984 to the pool house after we've prevailed! 367 00:14:44,017 --> 00:14:45,018 - Give it up, Jill. 368 00:14:45,052 --> 00:14:47,454 - No shot, Dylan. 369 00:14:49,156 --> 00:14:50,390 Movie. 370 00:14:50,423 --> 00:14:52,392 - Threesome. 371 00:14:52,425 --> 00:14:54,061 - Three words. 372 00:14:54,094 --> 00:14:54,928 Third word. 373 00:14:54,962 --> 00:14:55,996 Sounds like... 374 00:14:56,029 --> 00:14:57,397 Volcano! Eruption! 375 00:14:57,430 --> 00:15:01,134 - Vicky Cristina Barcelona! 376 00:15:01,168 --> 00:15:02,369 - First word. 377 00:15:02,402 --> 00:15:05,372 - Breaking, sounds like breaking, Chasing Amy! 378 00:15:05,405 --> 00:15:07,174 - [scoffs] Come on hipster Jesus 379 00:15:07,207 --> 00:15:09,009 show us your powers! 380 00:15:09,042 --> 00:15:09,476 Broke. 381 00:15:09,509 --> 00:15:10,277 Brokeback. 382 00:15:10,310 --> 00:15:11,711 Brokeback Mountain! 383 00:15:11,744 --> 00:15:14,347 That's only two words, but, yay! 384 00:15:14,381 --> 00:15:19,919 [upbeat music] 385 00:15:25,092 --> 00:15:28,195 [collective gasps] 386 00:15:28,461 --> 00:15:31,298 - I'm okay! It's all good. 387 00:15:31,331 --> 00:15:38,105 I'm okay. 388 00:15:38,138 --> 00:15:40,307 - How's that? - It's amazing. 389 00:15:40,340 --> 00:15:41,341 It's really good. 390 00:15:41,374 --> 00:15:43,243 - You want it slower? - No it's good, it's good. 391 00:15:43,276 --> 00:15:47,180 - Something's wrong. 392 00:15:47,214 --> 00:15:48,215 - Nothing is wrong. 393 00:15:48,248 --> 00:15:51,418 You are perfect, and have exemplary technique. 394 00:15:51,451 --> 00:15:56,289 I'm just...starving. 395 00:15:58,058 --> 00:16:00,293 - No, no, no no don't go! 396 00:16:00,327 --> 00:16:02,295 Please? I'll power through. 397 00:16:02,329 --> 00:16:05,065 - Jesus Christ. There's always something. 398 00:16:08,068 --> 00:16:14,541 - So close. 399 00:16:14,574 --> 00:16:18,278 - Pepperoni or nightshade veggie, 400 00:16:18,311 --> 00:16:20,413 with cashew cheese and cauliflower crust? 401 00:16:24,251 --> 00:16:29,222 [shrieks with delight] 402 00:16:29,256 --> 00:16:31,291 Mmm. Oh! 403 00:16:31,324 --> 00:16:37,397 [guitar riff] 404 00:16:42,269 --> 00:16:44,071 - Sensory deprivation finds recruit von Weber 405 00:16:44,104 --> 00:16:47,307 withdrawn and diassociative. 406 00:16:47,507 --> 00:16:52,545 - Wilson! Wilson. 407 00:16:52,579 --> 00:16:55,615 Just no- just listen to me. 408 00:16:55,648 --> 00:17:00,587 My dad swam into the mouth of a shark for himself 409 00:17:00,620 --> 00:17:04,057 and his self alone. 410 00:17:04,091 --> 00:17:08,828 I am going to Mars not for me. 411 00:17:08,861 --> 00:17:14,501 I am going to Mars for all of humanity. 412 00:17:14,534 --> 00:17:19,606 ["Space Oddity" plays] 413 00:17:23,110 --> 00:17:29,416 - [singing] * Ground Control to Major Tom * 414 00:17:29,449 --> 00:17:36,589 * Commencing countdown, engines on * 415 00:17:36,623 --> 00:17:44,864 * Check ignition and may God's love be with you * 416 00:17:44,897 --> 00:17:49,669 - [singing] * This is Ground Control to Major Tom * 417 00:17:49,702 --> 00:17:54,574 * You've really made the grade * 418 00:17:54,607 --> 00:17:57,444 - [singing] * And the papers want to know * 419 00:17:57,477 --> 00:18:01,448 * whose shirts you wear 420 00:18:01,481 --> 00:18:05,218 [both] * Now it's time to leave the capsule * 421 00:18:05,252 --> 00:18:09,456 * if you dare 422 00:18:09,489 --> 00:18:14,494 - * This is Major Tom to Ground Control * 423 00:18:14,527 --> 00:18:19,332 - * I'm stepping through the door * 424 00:18:19,366 --> 00:18:26,439 - [singing] * And I'm floating in a most peculiar way * 425 00:18:26,473 --> 00:18:28,175 - [singing] * And the stars look 426 00:18:28,208 --> 00:18:33,546 [trills tongue] * very different today 427 00:18:33,580 --> 00:18:36,216 - [singing] * Though I'm past one hundred * 428 00:18:36,249 --> 00:18:43,256 * thousand miles I'm feeling very still * 429 00:18:43,290 --> 00:18:45,758 - [singing] * And I think my spaceship knows * 430 00:18:45,792 --> 00:18:49,762 * which way to go 431 00:18:49,796 --> 00:18:54,267 - * Tell my wife I love her very much * 432 00:18:54,301 --> 00:18:59,372 * She knows 433 00:18:59,406 --> 00:19:00,740 - [singing] * Ground Control to Major Tom * 434 00:19:00,773 --> 00:19:02,509 - [singing] * Your circuit's dead * 435 00:19:02,542 --> 00:19:04,511 * there's something wrong 436 00:19:04,544 --> 00:19:07,580 [all] * Can you hear me Major Tom * 437 00:19:07,614 --> 00:19:10,717 * Can you hear me Major Tom * 438 00:19:10,750 --> 00:19:14,787 * Can you hear me Major Tom * 439 00:19:14,821 --> 00:19:18,225 [gasps] 440 00:19:18,258 --> 00:19:19,592 - Is that? - Navarro! 441 00:19:19,626 --> 00:19:21,461 - Who? 442 00:19:21,494 --> 00:19:23,530 That's really funny that you said that 443 00:19:23,563 --> 00:19:25,498 'cause I totally thought she was Kristen Stewart 444 00:19:25,532 --> 00:19:26,366 when I first met her, 445 00:19:26,399 --> 00:19:28,568 but that's Poppy, Efron's assistant. 446 00:19:28,601 --> 00:19:30,637 - Ground control to major bum. 447 00:19:30,670 --> 00:19:32,405 - Oh my God it's 3am. 448 00:19:32,439 --> 00:19:35,408 - No! I don't want to be responsible. 449 00:19:35,442 --> 00:19:36,776 - Weber, are you kidding me? 450 00:19:36,809 --> 00:19:38,378 It's shots o'clock! 451 00:19:38,411 --> 00:19:40,980 With a kombucha chaser. 452 00:19:41,013 --> 00:19:43,416 [upbeat music] 453 00:19:43,450 --> 00:19:45,485 - Ah! - Woo! 454 00:19:46,853 --> 00:19:50,857 - Ack! Uh-uh. 455 00:20:04,371 --> 00:20:07,407 - Hey. You two okay? 456 00:20:07,440 --> 00:20:11,444 - I promise, we're so good. 457 00:20:11,478 --> 00:20:12,779 - Best night ever. 458 00:20:12,812 --> 00:20:17,250 - Those never make for good mornings. 459 00:20:17,284 --> 00:20:19,319 - Holy shit! - It's Jill's addiction. 460 00:20:19,352 --> 00:20:21,020 - Do you guys need a ride someplace? 461 00:20:21,053 --> 00:20:24,391 Or did you plan to sleep in the Saddle Ranch parking lot? 462 00:20:24,424 --> 00:20:26,826 - Oh no, we're staying at the Sunstrip Hotel. 463 00:20:26,859 --> 00:20:30,830 - Well, you almost made it. 464 00:20:30,863 --> 00:20:32,732 I'm impressed. 465 00:20:32,765 --> 00:20:34,701 - We impressed Dave Navarro. 466 00:20:34,734 --> 00:20:36,803 - Oh my God! 467 00:20:36,836 --> 00:20:38,671 - I am still here. 468 00:20:38,705 --> 00:20:41,808 - Dave Navarro's still here. 469 00:20:42,309 --> 00:20:44,777 - Okay. You guys have a good day. 470 00:20:47,079 --> 00:20:50,383 - I love you! 471 00:20:51,784 --> 00:20:55,254 [horn honks] - Oh. 472 00:20:58,325 --> 00:21:01,294 - I have a million apology texts from Andy, 473 00:21:01,328 --> 00:21:03,296 seven missed calls from Dottie's school, 474 00:21:03,330 --> 00:21:06,899 and...a text from Hazel. 475 00:21:06,933 --> 00:21:08,701 Hi, Mom. I'm sorry, 476 00:21:08,735 --> 00:21:10,036 I know it was wrong to get the phone. 477 00:21:10,069 --> 00:21:12,505 I'll take it back. 478 00:21:12,539 --> 00:21:13,873 - Ready to go home now? 479 00:21:13,906 --> 00:21:16,343 - Definitely. 480 00:21:16,376 --> 00:21:18,378 - Ow. 481 00:21:18,411 --> 00:21:20,913 [gasps and laughs] 482 00:21:20,947 --> 00:21:23,450 - When did that happen? 483 00:21:23,483 --> 00:21:24,417 - For more Odd Mom Out, 484 00:21:24,451 --> 00:21:24,517 go to bravotv.com.