1 00:00:01,669 --> 00:00:02,436 - Next is a Bravo original comedy. 2 00:00:03,837 --> 00:00:07,675 - * Let the river run 3 00:00:07,708 --> 00:00:09,143 Previously on "Odd Mom Out"... 4 00:00:09,177 --> 00:00:10,411 Well, I'm actually getting 5 00:00:10,444 --> 00:00:13,114 back into the photography thing, 6 00:00:13,147 --> 00:00:15,049 so I hope you'll keep me in mind 7 00:00:15,083 --> 00:00:17,218 for any work that comes up. 8 00:00:17,251 --> 00:00:18,219 - But your work was safe. 9 00:00:18,252 --> 00:00:19,220 It had no teeth... 10 00:00:19,253 --> 00:00:20,488 or balls, really. 11 00:00:20,521 --> 00:00:22,523 - Awesome, George. Secret. 12 00:00:22,556 --> 00:00:23,824 Hello, bellman. 13 00:00:23,857 --> 00:00:26,427 - Jill, those are your doorman shots? 14 00:00:26,460 --> 00:00:27,761 - Yeah, why? You knew they were nude. 15 00:00:29,097 --> 00:00:30,498 - Graham is here. 16 00:00:30,531 --> 00:00:31,499 - Graham had his chance with you, 17 00:00:31,532 --> 00:00:33,101 and he blew it. 18 00:00:33,134 --> 00:00:34,568 Don't let him suck you back in. 19 00:00:34,602 --> 00:00:37,338 - Good to see you. 20 00:00:37,371 --> 00:00:40,241 - Lex is cheating on Brooke with his assistant Ella. 21 00:00:40,274 --> 00:00:42,176 - You knew? - I'm so sorry. 22 00:00:42,210 --> 00:00:43,244 I didn't know what to do. 23 00:00:43,277 --> 00:00:45,279 It wasn't my place. 24 00:00:45,313 --> 00:00:46,614 - [grunts] - [screams] 25 00:00:46,647 --> 00:00:49,817 - Joy Green, author of the "Joy Manifesto," 26 00:00:49,850 --> 00:00:51,519 is in the house. 27 00:00:51,552 --> 00:00:53,421 - This is Ernie Krevitt... - Hey. 28 00:00:53,454 --> 00:00:55,356 - Sharpest investor on the continent. 29 00:00:55,389 --> 00:00:56,657 Brooke von Weber, 30 00:00:56,690 --> 00:00:58,359 will you be my re-bride? 31 00:00:58,392 --> 00:01:00,861 - What? 32 00:01:00,894 --> 00:01:02,863 Yes! The answer is yes. 33 00:01:04,498 --> 00:01:06,767 [rock music] 34 00:01:06,800 --> 00:01:08,302 - Don't forget to pick up your tux 35 00:01:08,336 --> 00:01:10,238 from the cleaners any time after 3:00. 36 00:01:10,271 --> 00:01:11,339 [phone chimes] 37 00:01:11,372 --> 00:01:12,406 - On it. 38 00:01:12,440 --> 00:01:13,574 - Wait, it looks like somebody 39 00:01:13,607 --> 00:01:15,309 bought a photo from my website! 40 00:01:15,343 --> 00:01:17,611 - Hey, that's terrific, honey. 41 00:01:17,645 --> 00:01:20,581 Kids, Mommy sold a photo! 42 00:01:20,614 --> 00:01:22,183 - Is this really happening? 43 00:01:22,216 --> 00:01:24,818 A total stranger bought one of my photos! 44 00:01:24,852 --> 00:01:26,787 - What happened? - Kids, listen up. 45 00:01:26,820 --> 00:01:28,822 I was about to bail on myself 46 00:01:28,856 --> 00:01:30,491 after tons of rejection, 47 00:01:30,524 --> 00:01:32,393 and this is living proof 48 00:01:32,426 --> 00:01:35,463 that if you work hard enough and you're patient, 49 00:01:35,496 --> 00:01:37,365 eventually it will pay off! 50 00:01:37,398 --> 00:01:39,700 [kids cheer] 51 00:01:39,733 --> 00:01:42,203 - Ahh! Grisly, grisly breath. 52 00:01:42,236 --> 00:01:45,373 Go brush your teeth, okay? 53 00:01:45,406 --> 00:01:46,674 Trixie can suck it. 54 00:01:46,707 --> 00:01:47,841 There's somebody out there 55 00:01:47,875 --> 00:01:49,643 who thinks my work does have balls. 56 00:01:49,677 --> 00:01:51,312 - See, all you needed was a little encouragement. 57 00:01:51,345 --> 00:01:52,713 Honey, you are an artist. 58 00:01:54,648 --> 00:01:55,816 - Yeah. 59 00:01:55,849 --> 00:01:57,751 - [chuckles] - Wait. 60 00:01:57,785 --> 00:01:58,786 - What? 61 00:01:58,819 --> 00:02:00,588 - Oh, my god. 62 00:02:00,621 --> 00:02:03,056 It was you. 63 00:02:03,090 --> 00:02:03,991 You bought it! 64 00:02:04,024 --> 00:02:05,058 Oh my God. 65 00:02:05,092 --> 00:02:06,494 It was a pity-buy? 66 00:02:06,527 --> 00:02:08,396 - No, I-- I just-- - Kids! 67 00:02:08,429 --> 00:02:10,798 Forget everything I just said. 68 00:02:10,831 --> 00:02:12,466 - I liked the photo, honey. 69 00:02:12,500 --> 00:02:13,467 You just needed a little boost. 70 00:02:13,501 --> 00:02:14,668 - No. 71 00:02:14,702 --> 00:02:16,570 That is a false sense of confidence. 72 00:02:16,604 --> 00:02:17,571 Like water-wings. 73 00:02:17,605 --> 00:02:18,839 - Oh, stop. 74 00:02:18,872 --> 00:02:20,841 - I'm Jennifer Beals in "Flashdance" 75 00:02:20,874 --> 00:02:22,543 when Michael Nouri got her the audition 76 00:02:22,576 --> 00:02:23,944 she thought she'd earned. 77 00:02:23,977 --> 00:02:25,579 - But she deserved that audition! 78 00:02:25,613 --> 00:02:26,580 She was awesome! 79 00:02:26,614 --> 00:02:27,615 - [groans] 80 00:02:28,716 --> 00:02:31,385 - * Hey, yes, you know 81 00:02:31,419 --> 00:02:33,687 * I'm feeling fine, I'm feeling fine * 82 00:02:35,022 --> 00:02:37,057 - My career is on life support, Vaness. 83 00:02:37,090 --> 00:02:38,559 And you're my plug-puller. 84 00:02:38,592 --> 00:02:40,361 Can we just call time of death? 85 00:02:40,394 --> 00:02:41,395 - Not yet. 86 00:02:41,429 --> 00:02:42,930 I still see vital signs. 87 00:02:42,963 --> 00:02:45,333 - So Graham is leaving tomorrow. 88 00:02:45,366 --> 00:02:46,534 Have you guys had a talk? 89 00:02:46,567 --> 00:02:48,336 Are you gonna see other people? 90 00:02:48,369 --> 00:02:50,070 - You don't have a talk when you're just having fun. 91 00:02:50,103 --> 00:02:51,839 That's the opposite of fun. 92 00:02:51,872 --> 00:02:53,607 Pass the hot sauce. 93 00:02:54,742 --> 00:02:56,009 What? 94 00:02:56,043 --> 00:02:58,512 - Okay, well, you're not gonna like it, 95 00:02:58,546 --> 00:03:00,514 but I'm tired of guys like Graham 96 00:03:00,548 --> 00:03:03,551 parking in your husband parking spot just for "fun." 97 00:03:03,584 --> 00:03:04,918 - [laughs] 98 00:03:04,952 --> 00:03:07,688 Jill, I'm never getting married again. 99 00:03:07,721 --> 00:03:09,823 There is no husband parking spot. 100 00:03:09,857 --> 00:03:10,991 - I don't believe you. 101 00:03:11,024 --> 00:03:12,426 I think you're ready for love-- 102 00:03:12,460 --> 00:03:13,694 maybe even with Graham-- 103 00:03:13,727 --> 00:03:15,263 but you're just too cool to admit it. 104 00:03:15,263 --> 00:03:16,597 - Listen to me: 105 00:03:16,630 --> 00:03:18,766 I am happy with my love life. 106 00:03:18,799 --> 00:03:21,034 You're the one who's unhappy with my love life, 107 00:03:21,068 --> 00:03:23,537 so that's your cross to bear. 108 00:03:23,571 --> 00:03:25,773 Or whatever the Jewish equivalent is. 109 00:03:25,806 --> 00:03:27,140 - Star of David. 110 00:03:27,174 --> 00:03:28,942 Just have mercy on me, I have to get it up 111 00:03:28,976 --> 00:03:31,879 for Brooke and Lex's bullshit "vows renewal." 112 00:03:31,912 --> 00:03:34,482 Celebrating their "rediscovered love." 113 00:03:34,515 --> 00:03:36,183 And get this. Andy told me 114 00:03:36,284 --> 00:03:39,620 they're spending $1 million 115 00:03:39,653 --> 00:03:41,289 on the flowers. 116 00:03:41,289 --> 00:03:42,590 - Eww. 117 00:03:42,623 --> 00:03:45,593 [regal orchestral music] 118 00:03:45,626 --> 00:03:48,629 * 119 00:03:48,662 --> 00:03:52,165 [zippers zipping] 120 00:03:52,199 --> 00:03:53,867 - [inhales deeply] 121 00:03:53,901 --> 00:03:55,636 Oh my God. 122 00:03:55,669 --> 00:03:57,070 Where's my butter churn? 123 00:03:57,104 --> 00:03:58,872 Somebody point me to the compound 124 00:03:58,906 --> 00:04:01,875 and remind me of my 17 kids' names. 125 00:04:01,909 --> 00:04:04,878 [regal orchestral music resumes] 126 00:04:04,912 --> 00:04:11,885 * 127 00:04:11,919 --> 00:04:14,755 - Hello, Ladies. 128 00:04:14,788 --> 00:04:16,824 - Candace. 129 00:04:16,857 --> 00:04:19,126 What happened to the guava gown I picked out? 130 00:04:19,159 --> 00:04:20,728 - Well, it's funny: 131 00:04:20,761 --> 00:04:22,896 I must have lost a few pounds on my cleanse, 132 00:04:22,930 --> 00:04:24,665 because it was literally falling off of me. 133 00:04:24,698 --> 00:04:26,834 And I just thought that this would be more festive. 134 00:04:26,867 --> 00:04:29,770 But you know, it's still a little big. 135 00:04:29,803 --> 00:04:31,572 Lucy! Lucy! 136 00:04:31,605 --> 00:04:32,806 - Girls, gather. 137 00:04:35,142 --> 00:04:37,678 Oh, I am loving this look on you. 138 00:04:37,711 --> 00:04:40,881 I had a vision with the hair, and it is perfect. 139 00:04:40,914 --> 00:04:44,051 I want to share an epiphany I had this morning: 140 00:04:44,084 --> 00:04:48,055 After a very challenging time, I have it all: 141 00:04:48,088 --> 00:04:50,824 a booming company, several fabulous homes, 142 00:04:50,858 --> 00:04:52,993 a husband who loves me so much 143 00:04:53,026 --> 00:04:54,928 he wants to marry me a second time-- 144 00:04:54,962 --> 00:04:56,364 - Four healthy kids... 145 00:04:56,397 --> 00:04:58,265 - I already said that. 146 00:04:58,366 --> 00:05:02,370 And I couldn't have arrived at this moment without... 147 00:05:02,403 --> 00:05:03,771 Joy Green. 148 00:05:03,804 --> 00:05:05,172 She should be here any minute. 149 00:05:05,205 --> 00:05:06,374 - [gasps] 150 00:05:06,374 --> 00:05:09,377 Hello, my gorgeous re-bridal party! 151 00:05:09,377 --> 00:05:10,444 [clears throat] 152 00:05:10,478 --> 00:05:12,012 So--copy. 153 00:05:12,045 --> 00:05:14,214 Oh, my god, Brooke, the eagle has landed. 154 00:05:14,247 --> 00:05:15,916 Joy Green is on the premises! 155 00:05:15,949 --> 00:05:16,984 - She's here. She's here. 156 00:05:17,017 --> 00:05:19,119 - Oh, my god. [gasping] 157 00:05:19,152 --> 00:05:21,855 - Hello, beautiful ones. 158 00:05:21,889 --> 00:05:23,824 - Hi, Joy. - Joy. 159 00:05:23,857 --> 00:05:25,025 * 160 00:05:25,058 --> 00:05:27,127 - And I hate nosy bitches. 161 00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:30,398 [tires squeal] 162 00:05:30,398 --> 00:05:33,867 - I can't thank you enough for officiating tonight. 163 00:05:33,901 --> 00:05:36,036 It's only because of your blog post 164 00:05:36,069 --> 00:05:37,771 that Lex and I are going through with this. 165 00:05:37,805 --> 00:05:40,808 We realized we could hear your voice 166 00:05:40,841 --> 00:05:42,443 even when we couldn't hear each other's. 167 00:05:42,476 --> 00:05:45,813 - Mm. Well, I always say that my soul can't sing 168 00:05:45,846 --> 00:05:47,815 unless it makes another soul dance. 169 00:05:47,848 --> 00:05:50,050 [bridesmaids gasp] 170 00:05:50,083 --> 00:05:51,452 - Chills. - Yeah. 171 00:05:51,485 --> 00:05:53,921 Jill, I want you to meet my guru, 172 00:05:53,954 --> 00:05:56,223 my idol, Joy Green. 173 00:05:56,256 --> 00:05:58,325 This is Jill, my Jewish sister-in-law. 174 00:05:58,426 --> 00:05:59,427 - So pleased to meet you. 175 00:05:59,427 --> 00:06:01,294 - [chuckles] It's a joy. 176 00:06:01,328 --> 00:06:03,263 - You'll be happy to know 177 00:06:03,296 --> 00:06:05,833 we're incorporating all faiths tonight. 178 00:06:05,866 --> 00:06:07,868 The ceremony will be under a choo-pah. 179 00:06:07,901 --> 00:06:09,803 - Oh, it's...[hacking] chuppah. 180 00:06:09,837 --> 00:06:11,805 - Oh. 181 00:06:11,839 --> 00:06:13,306 I just felt a pubic hair sprout. 182 00:06:13,340 --> 00:06:15,008 Not today. Excuse me. 183 00:06:15,042 --> 00:06:16,043 Jin-Lee? 184 00:06:16,076 --> 00:06:18,078 Has anyone seen Jin-Lee? 185 00:06:20,013 --> 00:06:22,816 - I'm sorry, don't I know you? 186 00:06:22,850 --> 00:06:24,351 - No. I don't think so. 187 00:06:24,452 --> 00:06:25,986 This is a swank affair, isn't it? 188 00:06:26,019 --> 00:06:28,321 I think I have, like, 100 bucks of caviar 189 00:06:28,355 --> 00:06:30,924 just jammed into my chompers. 190 00:06:30,958 --> 00:06:32,826 I'm a total roe ho. I'm gonna, like, 191 00:06:32,860 --> 00:06:35,496 give birth to a sturgeon in the morning. 192 00:06:35,529 --> 00:06:37,498 - No, I'm sorry. We must have met somewhere. 193 00:06:37,531 --> 00:06:39,467 I mean, you look so familiar. 194 00:06:39,467 --> 00:06:41,168 - Oh, well, I get that a lot. 195 00:06:41,201 --> 00:06:44,271 People say I resemble a young Alan Rickman in drag-- 196 00:06:44,304 --> 00:06:45,573 may he rest-- 197 00:06:45,606 --> 00:06:47,107 Marilyn Manson, 198 00:06:47,140 --> 00:06:48,542 Tatum O'Neill dipped in shoe polish 199 00:06:48,576 --> 00:06:50,243 and shoved in the microwave, 200 00:06:50,277 --> 00:06:53,213 and of course, tonight, the cast of "Big Love." 201 00:06:53,246 --> 00:06:55,082 - Mm-hmm. What do you do? 202 00:06:55,115 --> 00:06:58,351 - Um, I'm a photographer. 203 00:06:58,385 --> 00:07:00,588 - A what? - A photographer. 204 00:07:00,621 --> 00:07:02,089 - Oh, well, maybe that's it. 205 00:07:02,122 --> 00:07:03,491 Maybe you've shot me for something. 206 00:07:03,491 --> 00:07:06,494 - Nope! I haven't had the pleasure. 207 00:07:06,494 --> 00:07:07,595 Of shooting you. 208 00:07:07,628 --> 00:07:09,497 - [chuckles] 209 00:07:09,497 --> 00:07:11,331 Well, anyway, I have to go 210 00:07:11,364 --> 00:07:14,201 brush up on my Sanskrit for the ceremony. 211 00:07:14,234 --> 00:07:16,103 Don't worry. It'll come to me. 212 00:07:16,136 --> 00:07:17,505 It always does. 213 00:07:22,075 --> 00:07:23,511 - Uh, toothpaste, Sudafed? 214 00:07:23,511 --> 00:07:24,512 - Check, check. 215 00:07:24,512 --> 00:07:25,513 - Passport? - Check. 216 00:07:25,513 --> 00:07:26,514 Wait. 217 00:07:26,547 --> 00:07:27,548 Check. 218 00:07:27,581 --> 00:07:28,549 Good-bye? 219 00:07:28,582 --> 00:07:30,618 - Bye. [smooch] 220 00:07:30,651 --> 00:07:32,285 - This was fun. - It was! 221 00:07:32,319 --> 00:07:34,321 Now, scram. - All right. 222 00:07:34,354 --> 00:07:35,556 I'll see you when I see you, kid. 223 00:07:35,589 --> 00:07:37,024 - Catch you on the rebound. 224 00:07:42,996 --> 00:07:44,532 - Between our co-op board elections 225 00:07:44,532 --> 00:07:46,199 and the doorman strike, 226 00:07:46,233 --> 00:07:48,368 I'm ready for a summer break from our building. 227 00:07:48,401 --> 00:07:50,370 - [laughs] Well, I don't know. 228 00:07:50,403 --> 00:07:53,574 I quite enjoyed Carlton's nude modeling debut. 229 00:07:53,607 --> 00:07:55,342 - Ooh, don't remind me. 230 00:07:55,375 --> 00:07:57,545 The photographer is my daughter-in-law. 231 00:07:57,545 --> 00:07:58,679 - You don't mean Brooke? 232 00:07:58,712 --> 00:08:00,548 - No, I have another daughter-in-law. 233 00:08:00,581 --> 00:08:01,582 I rarely mention her. 234 00:08:01,615 --> 00:08:03,150 She's... 235 00:08:03,183 --> 00:08:04,351 offbeat. 236 00:08:04,384 --> 00:08:05,553 - Mm. 237 00:08:05,586 --> 00:08:07,721 - Ernie! You must know Ernie Krevitt. 238 00:08:07,755 --> 00:08:09,322 - Ernie and I went to summer camp together 239 00:08:09,356 --> 00:08:10,423 in the Berkshires. 240 00:08:10,457 --> 00:08:11,792 - We did. - Even at 11, 241 00:08:11,825 --> 00:08:13,827 he was managing our cabin's canteen fund. 242 00:08:13,861 --> 00:08:16,163 - Well, of course. - What can I say? 243 00:08:16,196 --> 00:08:17,698 We made some good returns that summer. 244 00:08:17,731 --> 00:08:20,467 - Ooh! - Mr. Manassian. 245 00:08:20,568 --> 00:08:22,169 So good of you to be here. 246 00:08:22,202 --> 00:08:24,404 The artwork in my wife's office looks phenomenal. 247 00:08:24,437 --> 00:08:25,472 - Well, she's got a great eye. 248 00:08:25,573 --> 00:08:26,774 Makes my job easy. 249 00:08:26,807 --> 00:08:28,341 - And I see you met Mr. Ernie Krevitt, 250 00:08:28,375 --> 00:08:30,778 genius investor? He's like a father to me. 251 00:08:30,811 --> 00:08:33,113 - [whispers] Guess that means we're married. 252 00:08:33,146 --> 00:08:36,083 We'd better be careful. I'm very fertile. 253 00:08:36,116 --> 00:08:37,417 - Good to know! 254 00:08:37,450 --> 00:08:39,086 - Nice to see you. 255 00:08:39,119 --> 00:08:41,188 - Oh, hi. 256 00:08:41,221 --> 00:08:45,425 - Oh, excuse me-- I think you dropped this. 257 00:08:45,458 --> 00:08:48,461 - That's it! 258 00:08:48,495 --> 00:08:50,864 Now I remember where I know you from! 259 00:08:50,898 --> 00:08:52,766 - I really don't know what you're referring to. 260 00:08:52,800 --> 00:08:56,103 - Um, oops! 261 00:08:56,136 --> 00:08:57,437 Does that jog your memory? 262 00:08:57,470 --> 00:08:59,673 - No, I don't know what you mean. 263 00:08:59,707 --> 00:09:01,609 - Oh, really? 264 00:09:01,609 --> 00:09:02,776 Nothing? 265 00:09:02,810 --> 00:09:05,445 Hmm? How 'bout now? 266 00:09:05,478 --> 00:09:06,479 - Ugh! 267 00:09:06,513 --> 00:09:07,748 - [laughing] 268 00:09:07,781 --> 00:09:10,517 I knew I hated you from somewhere! 269 00:09:10,618 --> 00:09:11,852 You're the one who called me a Nazi 270 00:09:11,885 --> 00:09:12,853 on the Montauk Highway. 271 00:09:12,886 --> 00:09:14,287 - Because you were littering 272 00:09:14,321 --> 00:09:15,488 and I was trying to protect the Earth. 273 00:09:15,522 --> 00:09:17,257 What is wrong with you? 274 00:09:17,290 --> 00:09:18,859 Aren't you supposed to be the Queen of Happiness? 275 00:09:18,892 --> 00:09:21,361 - Oh, I'm very happy right now. 276 00:09:21,394 --> 00:09:23,764 I'm enjoying this delightful little coincidence. 277 00:09:23,797 --> 00:09:24,865 Sir! 278 00:09:24,898 --> 00:09:26,700 Thank you. 279 00:09:26,734 --> 00:09:28,268 - Don't you think you should wait 280 00:09:28,301 --> 00:09:29,336 till after you're done officiating 281 00:09:29,369 --> 00:09:30,704 to get shitfaced? 282 00:09:30,738 --> 00:09:34,507 - Oh, you're also on booze patrol now? 283 00:09:34,541 --> 00:09:36,209 I think I can handle this: 284 00:09:36,243 --> 00:09:38,411 Brooke, do you renew your vow 285 00:09:38,445 --> 00:09:40,547 to cherish Lex till death do you part? 286 00:09:40,648 --> 00:09:42,816 Lex, do you promise not to bang any more secretaries? 287 00:09:42,850 --> 00:09:44,217 - Hey! 288 00:09:44,251 --> 00:09:45,518 Don't trash my family. 289 00:09:45,552 --> 00:09:47,688 That's my thing. - Oh, please. 290 00:09:47,721 --> 00:09:49,489 Everyone knows what "vows renewal" means. 291 00:09:49,522 --> 00:09:51,391 - Yeah, no shit. Someone boned. 292 00:09:51,424 --> 00:09:52,492 But people can change. 293 00:09:52,525 --> 00:09:53,861 - [scoffs] Yeah, right. 294 00:09:53,894 --> 00:09:55,663 And my ex-husband isn't going down dog 295 00:09:55,696 --> 00:09:57,497 on my old yoga instructor right now. 296 00:09:57,530 --> 00:09:59,733 My next book's gonna be called, 297 00:09:59,767 --> 00:10:02,335 "Rich Men Who Cheat and the Women 298 00:10:02,369 --> 00:10:04,237 Who Don't Want to Downsize." 299 00:10:04,271 --> 00:10:05,438 - Ms. Green? 300 00:10:05,472 --> 00:10:06,907 I'm sorry to interrupt, but 301 00:10:06,940 --> 00:10:08,742 your book changed my life. 302 00:10:08,776 --> 00:10:09,743 - Mine, too! 303 00:10:09,777 --> 00:10:12,445 - Oh. Namaste. 304 00:10:12,479 --> 00:10:13,914 Of course. Namaste. 305 00:10:13,947 --> 00:10:15,916 - Namaste away from me. 306 00:10:15,949 --> 00:10:17,384 - So are you going to be attending 307 00:10:17,417 --> 00:10:18,786 my reading at the 92nd Street Y? 308 00:10:18,819 --> 00:10:19,787 - I wouldn't miss it. 309 00:10:19,820 --> 00:10:20,854 - Oh. 310 00:10:20,888 --> 00:10:22,589 You have the glow of happiness. 311 00:10:25,292 --> 00:10:27,761 - Brooke? Hi. Sorry. 312 00:10:27,795 --> 00:10:30,263 So, um... [sighs] 313 00:10:30,297 --> 00:10:31,732 Given our history, 314 00:10:31,765 --> 00:10:35,002 I feel like I should share some information with you 315 00:10:35,035 --> 00:10:36,569 that could be upsetting. 316 00:10:36,603 --> 00:10:37,838 Will be upsetting. 317 00:10:37,871 --> 00:10:38,972 - We're T-minus ten. 318 00:10:39,006 --> 00:10:40,273 Can't it wait? 319 00:10:40,307 --> 00:10:41,374 - No. 320 00:10:41,408 --> 00:10:44,277 Um... 321 00:10:44,311 --> 00:10:45,813 I know you idolize Joy, 322 00:10:45,846 --> 00:10:47,681 but she is a fraud 323 00:10:47,715 --> 00:10:49,683 and does not have your back. 324 00:10:49,717 --> 00:10:53,386 - Jill, I can't take in this negativity right now. 325 00:10:53,420 --> 00:10:54,755 As Joy says, 326 00:10:54,788 --> 00:10:57,057 "There are radiators and there are drains." 327 00:10:57,090 --> 00:10:59,893 And I need to surround myself with radiators 328 00:10:59,927 --> 00:11:02,529 before I remarry the man I love. 329 00:11:02,562 --> 00:11:04,031 - Yeah, I just don't think you realized-- 330 00:11:04,064 --> 00:11:05,966 - Who's ready to get married again? 331 00:11:05,999 --> 00:11:08,869 - Joy, perfect timing. 332 00:11:08,902 --> 00:11:11,471 I was actually just going over the final script, 333 00:11:11,504 --> 00:11:14,441 and there's one paragraph I think we can do without. 334 00:11:14,474 --> 00:11:15,442 - Oh, really? 335 00:11:15,475 --> 00:11:16,744 - Yes, it's a small one, 336 00:11:16,744 --> 00:11:18,445 about your trip to Yemen? 337 00:11:18,478 --> 00:11:20,480 Lovely story. It brought me to tears. 338 00:11:20,513 --> 00:11:23,650 I just don't think it's germane to this particular occasion. 339 00:11:23,751 --> 00:11:25,485 - Well, that's surprising. 340 00:11:25,518 --> 00:11:29,757 Because it is the centerpiece of chapter 14, 341 00:11:29,757 --> 00:11:31,558 "Sticking to it When You're Most Stuck," 342 00:11:31,591 --> 00:11:34,427 which you quoted at length in your TED talk. 343 00:11:34,461 --> 00:11:35,796 - Of course. 344 00:11:35,829 --> 00:11:39,767 But today is really more about chapter 17, 345 00:11:39,800 --> 00:11:40,901 "Seeing Past Rage 346 00:11:40,934 --> 00:11:43,070 and Finding Love and Acceptance." 347 00:11:43,103 --> 00:11:44,905 - That's funny, because I thought 348 00:11:44,938 --> 00:11:47,440 that I was the architect of my own work 349 00:11:47,474 --> 00:11:49,076 and that's why you hired me. 350 00:11:49,109 --> 00:11:51,912 - Yes, but I assumed when you accepted the job, 351 00:11:51,945 --> 00:11:54,414 you did so in a collaborative spirit. 352 00:11:54,447 --> 00:11:55,816 chapter 7, 353 00:11:55,849 --> 00:11:58,819 "Bettering Yourself by Taking the Best from Others." 354 00:11:58,852 --> 00:12:00,821 - You seem to be forgetting chapter 22, 355 00:12:00,854 --> 00:12:04,191 "If You're Talking, You're Not Learning," so... 356 00:12:04,224 --> 00:12:07,527 are you ready to embrace Joy Green or not? 357 00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:08,996 - Joy, 358 00:12:09,029 --> 00:12:12,499 this entire conversation is...surprising 359 00:12:12,532 --> 00:12:13,934 and frankly... 360 00:12:13,967 --> 00:12:15,668 unacceptable. 361 00:12:15,702 --> 00:12:17,971 I'm gonna have to ask you to leave right now. 362 00:12:18,005 --> 00:12:20,007 - Your deposit is non-refundable. 363 00:12:20,040 --> 00:12:21,674 - Devon, please call security. 364 00:12:21,708 --> 00:12:22,910 - On it! 365 00:12:22,943 --> 00:12:25,278 - I'm quite fine exiting on my own. 366 00:12:25,312 --> 00:12:26,579 Chapter 29, 367 00:12:26,613 --> 00:12:27,680 "Know How to Mic-Drop 368 00:12:27,714 --> 00:12:29,883 Out of a Toxic-Situation." 369 00:12:37,891 --> 00:12:38,358 - Brooke, I'm so sorry. 370 00:12:39,827 --> 00:12:41,628 - Guys, what's the hold-up? 371 00:12:41,661 --> 00:12:42,996 People are getting restless. 372 00:12:43,030 --> 00:12:44,865 - Oh, Lex, it'll break your heart 373 00:12:44,898 --> 00:12:46,133 just like it broke mine. 374 00:12:46,166 --> 00:12:47,300 - What? 375 00:12:47,334 --> 00:12:49,102 - Brooke shit-canned Joy Green. 376 00:12:49,136 --> 00:12:50,838 She's a lying, seething, 377 00:12:50,838 --> 00:12:54,541 vile, disgusting, horrible psychopath. 378 00:12:54,574 --> 00:12:55,843 And a litterbug. 379 00:12:55,876 --> 00:12:58,545 - There's a special place in hell 380 00:12:58,578 --> 00:12:59,847 for litterbugs. 381 00:12:59,847 --> 00:13:03,283 - Lex, we have no one to officiate! 382 00:13:04,317 --> 00:13:05,853 - What about Jilly-beans? 383 00:13:07,855 --> 00:13:09,622 - Brooke and Lex, 384 00:13:09,656 --> 00:13:13,126 you have chosen to weave a tapestry of traditions 385 00:13:13,160 --> 00:13:15,728 from around the globe for this renewal. 386 00:13:15,762 --> 00:13:17,630 We're here because we acknowledge 387 00:13:17,664 --> 00:13:20,200 our foibles, our weaknesses. 388 00:13:20,233 --> 00:13:22,870 Coming out this fall in paperback, 389 00:13:22,870 --> 00:13:24,304 look for the "Joy Manifesto"-- 390 00:13:24,337 --> 00:13:25,873 Oops. Sorry! 391 00:13:25,873 --> 00:13:27,274 [hums] Where are we? 392 00:13:27,307 --> 00:13:29,242 And... [clicks tongue] 393 00:13:29,276 --> 00:13:34,047 And join us now as we begin our spiritual journey 394 00:13:34,081 --> 00:13:37,017 around the world. 395 00:13:37,050 --> 00:13:38,952 From the Chinese tradition, 396 00:13:38,986 --> 00:13:40,787 the tea ceremony... 397 00:13:40,888 --> 00:13:44,191 [gong crashes loudly] 398 00:13:45,258 --> 00:13:46,994 - From the Hindu tradition, 399 00:13:47,027 --> 00:13:51,198 the placement of the "Thali" around the bride's neck. 400 00:13:51,231 --> 00:13:53,666 * Hey, dilly da 401 00:13:53,700 --> 00:13:55,903 * Simmy, simmy, simmy wah 402 00:13:55,936 --> 00:13:57,304 [roars] 403 00:13:57,337 --> 00:14:03,911 [chanting in Latin] 404 00:14:03,944 --> 00:14:07,915 The Haka war dance is used to show victory in love 405 00:14:07,915 --> 00:14:10,250 and also as a pre-game ritual 406 00:14:10,283 --> 00:14:12,819 for the Dartmouth La Crosse team. 407 00:14:13,921 --> 00:14:16,924 - [screaming and stomping] 408 00:14:23,363 --> 00:14:25,765 In sickness and in health... 409 00:14:25,798 --> 00:14:27,935 - For richer, for poorer... 410 00:14:27,968 --> 00:14:30,370 Both: Till death do we part. 411 00:14:30,403 --> 00:14:32,973 - Borrowing from the Bhutanese tradition, 412 00:14:33,006 --> 00:14:35,808 Brooke and Lex will bind themselves to each other 413 00:14:35,842 --> 00:14:37,945 through the windows of their souls 414 00:14:37,978 --> 00:14:41,848 by staring into each other's eyes in silence for... 415 00:14:41,949 --> 00:14:44,017 for 30 minutes? 416 00:14:44,051 --> 00:14:45,953 [all gasp, groan] - [quietly] Oh, shit. 417 00:14:51,024 --> 00:14:52,425 - [sighs] 418 00:14:52,459 --> 00:14:53,961 - [whispers] Devon. 419 00:14:53,961 --> 00:14:55,162 Can I get a shot of espresso? 420 00:14:55,195 --> 00:14:56,229 A double shot? 421 00:15:01,201 --> 00:15:03,003 [bones cracking] 422 00:15:06,306 --> 00:15:07,340 [grunts] 423 00:15:09,276 --> 00:15:11,478 [stomach growls] 424 00:15:13,080 --> 00:15:16,984 [cell phone buzzing] 425 00:15:16,984 --> 00:15:18,551 Sorry. I'm just gonna... 426 00:15:18,585 --> 00:15:21,354 Excuse me one sec. Just keep staring. 427 00:15:21,388 --> 00:15:23,223 Hi. 428 00:15:23,256 --> 00:15:24,291 Talk fast, I'm officiating. 429 00:15:24,324 --> 00:15:25,358 - I'm mad at you. 430 00:15:25,392 --> 00:15:26,994 - Me? What'd I do? 431 00:15:26,994 --> 00:15:28,561 - Everything was fine, and now Graham is gone, 432 00:15:28,595 --> 00:15:30,230 and I'm sad, and it's all your fault. 433 00:15:30,263 --> 00:15:32,665 - What? Wait, you're sad he's gone? 434 00:15:32,699 --> 00:15:34,101 But that's a good thing. 435 00:15:34,134 --> 00:15:36,236 - No, it's not. It-- 436 00:15:36,269 --> 00:15:37,904 There's crumbs everywhere. 437 00:15:38,005 --> 00:15:39,339 Is this a cherry pit? 438 00:15:39,372 --> 00:15:42,075 He is so thoughtless and selfish, 439 00:15:42,109 --> 00:15:43,110 and now I miss him. 440 00:15:43,143 --> 00:15:44,444 You! 441 00:15:44,477 --> 00:15:46,313 You put me in this situation. - Me? 442 00:15:46,346 --> 00:15:48,315 I'm the one who told you not to see him 443 00:15:48,348 --> 00:15:50,083 the minute I heard he was in town! 444 00:15:50,117 --> 00:15:52,019 - But you knew I would get sucked back in! 445 00:15:52,019 --> 00:15:54,354 You should've tried harder to prevent this from happening. 446 00:15:54,387 --> 00:15:57,257 - Okay, I am not gonna try to defend myself, 447 00:15:57,290 --> 00:15:59,426 because you sound like an escapee 448 00:15:59,459 --> 00:16:01,428 from a mental asylum. 449 00:16:01,461 --> 00:16:02,729 Now, stop blaming me 450 00:16:02,762 --> 00:16:04,097 and tell him how you feel. 451 00:16:04,131 --> 00:16:05,598 - He's gone. Off to Laos. 452 00:16:05,632 --> 00:16:07,667 - Well, what time's his flight? 453 00:16:07,700 --> 00:16:09,269 Put down the remote and focus! 454 00:16:09,302 --> 00:16:10,670 - [sighs] 455 00:16:10,703 --> 00:16:12,172 I'm not going to the airport. 456 00:16:12,205 --> 00:16:13,773 I already washed my face. 457 00:16:13,806 --> 00:16:16,109 I'm in my sweat pants. I just needed to yell at you. 458 00:16:16,143 --> 00:16:18,045 How's the party? - So that's it? 459 00:16:18,045 --> 00:16:19,546 You're just gonna watch TV 460 00:16:19,579 --> 00:16:22,249 while Graham waltzes off and gets scooped up 461 00:16:22,282 --> 00:16:25,585 by some sexy, do-goody field worker in the rice paddies? 462 00:16:25,618 --> 00:16:27,054 [timer beeps] 463 00:16:27,054 --> 00:16:29,122 I gotta go. Time's almost up. 464 00:16:29,156 --> 00:16:30,390 - [sighs] 465 00:16:32,092 --> 00:16:33,493 - And that's 30. 466 00:16:33,526 --> 00:16:36,363 Good Morning, Vietnam! 467 00:16:36,396 --> 00:16:38,331 Okay, homestretch, people. 468 00:16:38,365 --> 00:16:41,368 If you will all open the boxes under your seats, 469 00:16:41,401 --> 00:16:45,138 for the release of the Purple Emperor butterflies, 470 00:16:45,172 --> 00:16:48,808 a symbol of metamorphosis and freedom... 471 00:16:48,841 --> 00:16:50,243 Release. 472 00:16:50,277 --> 00:16:54,147 [audience murmuring indistinctly] 473 00:16:54,181 --> 00:16:55,482 Release. 474 00:16:55,515 --> 00:16:59,386 - [whispers] They're dead. 475 00:16:59,419 --> 00:17:01,754 - Life is short, carpe diem. 476 00:17:04,791 --> 00:17:05,125 [swanky music] 477 00:17:08,161 --> 00:17:09,662 - Very nice service. 478 00:17:09,696 --> 00:17:11,464 - [laughs] Thanks. 479 00:17:11,498 --> 00:17:13,466 A sister-in-law's work is never done. 480 00:17:13,500 --> 00:17:15,602 - Oh, you must be the photographer. 481 00:17:15,635 --> 00:17:17,237 I like your work. 482 00:17:17,270 --> 00:17:18,805 - Oh, no, I think you're thinking of someone else. 483 00:17:18,838 --> 00:17:20,640 - No, no, you shot the doorman, right? 484 00:17:20,673 --> 00:17:23,310 In various states of undress? 485 00:17:23,343 --> 00:17:25,745 My own doormen was very proud of his. 486 00:17:25,778 --> 00:17:27,280 - [laughs] Oh, my god, yes. 487 00:17:27,314 --> 00:17:29,282 That's me. - Where do you show? 488 00:17:29,316 --> 00:17:32,552 - [laughs] Uh, on my laptop, mostly. 489 00:17:32,585 --> 00:17:35,155 You made my night! Thank you. 490 00:17:35,188 --> 00:17:36,523 What do you do? 491 00:17:36,556 --> 00:17:38,725 - Oh, I have a small gallery in Chelsea. 492 00:17:38,758 --> 00:17:41,428 In fact, I'm gonna do a group show 493 00:17:41,461 --> 00:17:43,463 on men in uniform in the fall. 494 00:17:43,496 --> 00:17:45,898 It's mostly military and law enforcement, 495 00:17:45,932 --> 00:17:49,269 but your doormen would give it a nice twist. 496 00:17:49,302 --> 00:17:51,671 I'd love to include you, if you're interested. 497 00:17:51,704 --> 00:17:55,175 - [laughs] Thank you. - Call me. We'll talk. 498 00:17:55,208 --> 00:17:57,344 - Jill. - Yeah? 499 00:17:57,377 --> 00:17:59,412 - Do you realize who you were speaking with? 500 00:17:59,446 --> 00:18:00,613 - Yes, this nice guy. 501 00:18:00,647 --> 00:18:02,915 He says he has a gallery in Chelsea. 502 00:18:02,949 --> 00:18:04,251 Larry Manassian? 503 00:18:04,284 --> 00:18:05,418 [gasps] 504 00:18:05,452 --> 00:18:07,687 That's Larry Manassian? 505 00:18:07,720 --> 00:18:10,022 - I just hope you didn't say anything 506 00:18:10,056 --> 00:18:11,591 to him to embarrass me. 507 00:18:11,624 --> 00:18:13,960 He lives in my building. 508 00:18:13,993 --> 00:18:16,563 - Oh, my god. Andy! Andy! 509 00:18:20,300 --> 00:18:22,635 - What are you-- - Sorry, I forgot my phone. 510 00:18:22,669 --> 00:18:23,936 Such an idiot. 511 00:18:23,970 --> 00:18:25,538 And the car's waiting outside. 512 00:18:25,572 --> 00:18:27,274 Where--I thought I left it in the kitchen. 513 00:18:27,307 --> 00:18:29,942 [both groan] 514 00:18:29,976 --> 00:18:31,711 Over here with my bag. 515 00:18:31,744 --> 00:18:32,745 I was packing my bag. 516 00:18:32,779 --> 00:18:33,813 Where the hell is it? 517 00:18:33,846 --> 00:18:35,448 Ah! Found it! 518 00:18:35,482 --> 00:18:37,817 Okay. 519 00:18:37,850 --> 00:18:39,586 Wait, what--are you-- are you okay? 520 00:18:39,619 --> 00:18:42,555 - [groans] - Holy shit, what is happening? 521 00:18:42,589 --> 00:18:44,724 - This really sucks. God damn it! 522 00:18:44,757 --> 00:18:47,860 I know you have a plane to catch, 523 00:18:47,894 --> 00:18:49,962 and this is not an ultimatum. 524 00:18:49,996 --> 00:18:52,565 I just have to get this stupid thing off my chest, 525 00:18:52,599 --> 00:18:54,734 and then you can go. 526 00:18:54,767 --> 00:18:57,804 I wish you would stay. 527 00:18:57,837 --> 00:19:00,540 There, I said it. Are you happy now? 528 00:19:01,774 --> 00:19:04,444 - I am. 529 00:19:04,477 --> 00:19:05,545 Very. 530 00:19:10,917 --> 00:19:12,619 - You better go; your car's waiting. 531 00:19:12,652 --> 00:19:14,454 - Are you sure? Is this a test? 532 00:19:14,487 --> 00:19:15,755 - No. No. 533 00:19:15,788 --> 00:19:17,990 I just wanted you to know how I feel. 534 00:19:18,024 --> 00:19:19,492 We'll figure the rest out later. 535 00:19:19,526 --> 00:19:20,660 Now leave. 536 00:19:24,096 --> 00:19:25,632 Seriously. 537 00:19:25,665 --> 00:19:26,766 - You're very weird. 538 00:19:34,941 --> 00:19:36,843 - I can't believe Larry Manassian 539 00:19:36,876 --> 00:19:38,611 wants to put me in a group show! 540 00:19:38,645 --> 00:19:39,846 Was that a dream? 541 00:19:39,879 --> 00:19:41,113 - Never doubted you, honey. 542 00:19:41,147 --> 00:19:43,583 I knew it was just a matter of time. 543 00:19:43,616 --> 00:19:46,853 This is turning into quite the day. 544 00:19:46,886 --> 00:19:48,955 - Hey, what's-- what's going on? 545 00:19:48,988 --> 00:19:50,557 - All right. 546 00:19:50,590 --> 00:19:51,824 I don't know, but that's Ernie Krevitt, 547 00:19:51,858 --> 00:19:52,892 Mom's money-guy... 548 00:19:52,925 --> 00:19:54,527 And Lex's. 549 00:19:54,561 --> 00:19:56,095 - How embarrassing. 550 00:19:56,128 --> 00:19:57,830 I wonder what he did. 551 00:19:57,864 --> 00:19:59,165 - Devon! What's happening? 552 00:19:59,266 --> 00:20:00,933 - They're saying he pulled a Madoff! 553 00:20:00,967 --> 00:20:02,769 [all gasping] Yeah. Yeah. 554 00:20:02,802 --> 00:20:04,170 Brooke just got me in with him. 555 00:20:04,203 --> 00:20:05,938 Where is Brooke? 556 00:20:05,972 --> 00:20:07,073 Brooke? 557 00:20:07,106 --> 00:20:08,541 - This can't be happening. 558 00:20:08,575 --> 00:20:10,076 We moved all our money over to him. 559 00:20:10,109 --> 00:20:11,077 Sebastian! 560 00:20:11,110 --> 00:20:12,144 - Us too. 561 00:20:12,178 --> 00:20:13,212 Jared? 562 00:20:13,246 --> 00:20:15,448 I don't look good in poor, Jill! 563 00:20:15,482 --> 00:20:17,850 [voices overlapping] 564 00:20:17,884 --> 00:20:19,986 - Dude, of course I went all in. 565 00:20:20,019 --> 00:20:21,821 Ernie was our best performing manager. 566 00:20:21,854 --> 00:20:23,122 He was killing it for us. 567 00:20:23,155 --> 00:20:24,056 You would've done the same thing! 568 00:20:24,090 --> 00:20:25,958 - But--but--no, but 569 00:20:25,992 --> 00:20:28,961 we're gonna be okay, right? 570 00:20:28,995 --> 00:20:31,798 Pete, tell me we still have the rainy day fund at JPM. 571 00:20:31,831 --> 00:20:33,566 - [sighs] 572 00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:34,834 - Pete? 573 00:20:34,867 --> 00:20:36,703 - Should we be freaking out? - No. 574 00:20:36,736 --> 00:20:39,472 Fortunately, we never had enough money to invest with him. 575 00:20:39,506 --> 00:20:41,007 But Mother did. 576 00:20:41,040 --> 00:20:42,542 - Where is Mother? 577 00:20:42,575 --> 00:20:43,743 - Candace? 578 00:20:43,776 --> 00:20:45,244 [all gasping] Candace? 579 00:20:45,278 --> 00:20:46,746 Give me some help here. 580 00:20:46,779 --> 00:20:48,147 - Lex, everyone's saying something 581 00:20:48,180 --> 00:20:49,816 about a Ponzi scheme. 582 00:20:49,849 --> 00:20:52,619 We didn't have much money with him, did we? 583 00:20:54,854 --> 00:20:55,888 - Babe. 584 00:20:55,922 --> 00:20:58,825 We still have each other, 585 00:20:58,858 --> 00:21:01,894 and we have our health. 586 00:21:01,928 --> 00:21:04,331 And... [dry heaves] 587 00:21:04,331 --> 00:21:06,566 And that is all that matters. 588 00:21:06,599 --> 00:21:09,235 - Huh. 589 00:21:09,336 --> 00:21:12,339 [screaming] No! 590 00:21:15,107 --> 00:21:17,209 - [retches] 591 00:21:17,243 --> 00:21:20,347 [instrumental music] 592 00:21:20,347 --> 00:21:21,681 * 593 00:21:21,714 --> 00:21:24,851 [muffled crying] 594 00:21:24,884 --> 00:21:28,688 - Oh my God, we got to get out of here. 595 00:21:28,721 --> 00:21:29,789 Kids? 596 00:21:29,822 --> 00:21:31,358 Kids, kids, let's go. 597 00:21:31,391 --> 00:21:32,792 [man screams] Kids! 598 00:21:32,825 --> 00:21:34,927 - Oh, my god! [both scream] 599 00:21:34,961 --> 00:21:36,095 - Kids? Let's go. 600 00:21:36,128 --> 00:21:37,697 both: Kids? Let's go. 601 00:21:37,730 --> 00:21:39,366 - Let's leave a party while it's good. 602 00:21:39,366 --> 00:21:40,367 - Yeah, come on, guys! 603 00:21:40,400 --> 00:21:41,901 - But what about dessert? 604 00:21:41,934 --> 00:21:43,069 - Um, we'll have it at home. 605 00:21:43,102 --> 00:21:44,203 Terrific. - Ooh. 606 00:21:44,236 --> 00:21:46,105 - Okay, so, basically 607 00:21:46,138 --> 00:21:48,274 we're the richest people at this party? 608 00:21:48,375 --> 00:21:51,110 - It would appear so. 609 00:21:51,143 --> 00:21:53,145 [all sobbing] 610 00:21:53,179 --> 00:21:56,148 - For more "Odd Mom Out," go to bravotv.com. 611 00:21:57,149 --> 00:21:58,150 - Oh, dear.