1 00:00:01,702 --> 00:00:02,470 - Next is a Bravo original comedy. 2 00:00:04,538 --> 00:00:08,409 - A year ago, my life took an unexpected turn. 3 00:00:08,442 --> 00:00:11,145 I lost everything that mattered to me. 4 00:00:11,179 --> 00:00:13,681 I was shattered, so I started 5 00:00:13,714 --> 00:00:16,184 making handbags for my friends, 6 00:00:16,217 --> 00:00:18,619 just to get out of my own head, 7 00:00:18,652 --> 00:00:21,522 and it exploded. 8 00:00:21,555 --> 00:00:23,057 I look around now, 9 00:00:23,091 --> 00:00:26,660 and I feel so fortunate. 10 00:00:26,694 --> 00:00:29,297 - In less than one year, Brooke von Weber 11 00:00:29,330 --> 00:00:31,765 has gone from budding fashion entrepreneur, 12 00:00:31,799 --> 00:00:35,136 with her capsule collection of luxurious accessories, 13 00:00:35,169 --> 00:00:37,071 to lifestyle empress. 14 00:00:37,105 --> 00:00:39,373 - This is my atelier. 15 00:00:39,407 --> 00:00:41,542 We had my husband's shaman come 16 00:00:41,575 --> 00:00:44,145 and burn sage to cleanse the aura, 17 00:00:44,178 --> 00:00:46,414 and a feng shui specialist who told me 18 00:00:46,447 --> 00:00:48,716 to move my drafting table facing west, 19 00:00:48,749 --> 00:00:51,419 or my chi would be out of balance. 20 00:00:51,452 --> 00:00:54,555 Our design studios are covered in art. 21 00:00:54,588 --> 00:00:58,226 Larry Manassian personally curated the spaces. 22 00:00:58,259 --> 00:01:01,162 I always say I have one person 23 00:01:01,195 --> 00:01:02,663 to thank for all of this: 24 00:01:02,696 --> 00:01:06,134 Joy Green, bestselling author of "The Joy Manifesto." 25 00:01:06,167 --> 00:01:07,635 I to into that in greater detail 26 00:01:07,668 --> 00:01:09,703 in my TED talk, happening next month. 27 00:01:09,737 --> 00:01:11,605 - Brooke is doing a TED talk? 28 00:01:11,639 --> 00:01:13,541 - Yeah, should I get us tickets? 29 00:01:13,574 --> 00:01:15,276 - You're killing me, Ted. 30 00:01:15,309 --> 00:01:17,645 Who the hell is this "Ted" person, anyway? 31 00:01:17,678 --> 00:01:18,646 [screams] 32 00:01:18,679 --> 00:01:20,248 [rock music] 33 00:01:20,281 --> 00:01:22,750 - * Hey, yes, you know 34 00:01:22,783 --> 00:01:26,187 * I'm feeling fine, I'm feeling fine * 35 00:01:26,220 --> 00:01:28,489 both: * Joshua fought the battle of * 36 00:01:28,522 --> 00:01:30,358 * Jericho 37 00:01:30,391 --> 00:01:34,061 * Jericho, Jericho 38 00:01:34,162 --> 00:01:36,397 * Joshua fought the battle of 39 00:01:36,430 --> 00:01:40,301 * Jericho, and the walls came a-tumbling down * 40 00:01:40,334 --> 00:01:41,835 - * Tumbling down 41 00:01:41,869 --> 00:01:46,407 - Waze says zero traffic to Southampton. 42 00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:48,609 We are cruisin'! 43 00:01:48,642 --> 00:01:51,712 - Andy, do not anger the traffic gods. 44 00:01:51,745 --> 00:01:53,747 - [sighs] You and your superstitions. 45 00:01:53,781 --> 00:01:55,849 I am not afraid of you! 46 00:01:55,883 --> 00:01:57,718 - One more time! 47 00:01:57,751 --> 00:02:00,221 all: * Joshua fought the battle of * 48 00:02:00,254 --> 00:02:01,855 * Jericho - Whoo! 49 00:02:01,889 --> 00:02:04,858 [club music] 50 00:02:04,892 --> 00:02:09,397 * 51 00:02:09,430 --> 00:02:13,201 - Welcome to Sea Spray. Hi, Barbara. Oh. 52 00:02:13,234 --> 00:02:17,205 Welcome to my white party celebrating the season. 53 00:02:17,205 --> 00:02:20,208 - Sorry to interrupt you guys, but we just graduated 54 00:02:20,208 --> 00:02:22,210 from Harvard Business School and we had to meet you. 55 00:02:22,243 --> 00:02:24,212 - HBS? That's awesome. 56 00:02:24,212 --> 00:02:26,514 This is my business partner, Pete Wilson. 57 00:02:26,547 --> 00:02:29,483 He's too humble to admit it, but this guy is the reason 58 00:02:29,517 --> 00:02:31,219 we had hockey-stick growth this quarter. 59 00:02:31,252 --> 00:02:32,853 - Not true. Not true. 60 00:02:32,886 --> 00:02:35,256 - This is Ernie Krevitt. - Hey. 61 00:02:35,289 --> 00:02:37,225 - Sharpest investor on the continent. 62 00:02:37,225 --> 00:02:39,793 Remember this guy's name when you make your first $10 mil. 63 00:02:39,827 --> 00:02:42,230 - Come on, you guys want a pic with the Hercules heroes here? 64 00:02:42,230 --> 00:02:43,664 Let's go. - You're twisting my arm. 65 00:02:43,697 --> 00:02:45,299 - Yeah, let's do it. - This is good. 66 00:02:45,333 --> 00:02:47,868 - Great. Here we go. - Yeah, actually... 67 00:02:47,901 --> 00:02:50,137 we meant her. 68 00:02:50,238 --> 00:02:52,640 No offense. - Oh, really? 69 00:02:52,673 --> 00:02:55,476 - I did my Capstone project on von Weber designs. 70 00:02:55,509 --> 00:02:57,645 I want to be you. - Thank you. 71 00:02:57,678 --> 00:03:00,814 You two are adorable. [sighs] 72 00:03:00,848 --> 00:03:03,484 - Sir, would you mind taking a picture of us? 73 00:03:03,517 --> 00:03:04,918 - Of course. - Great. 74 00:03:04,952 --> 00:03:06,887 - Yeah. - Thank you. That's great. 75 00:03:06,920 --> 00:03:08,856 - Yeah, all right, uh, 76 00:03:08,889 --> 00:03:11,625 one, two, three. 77 00:03:11,659 --> 00:03:14,262 [rock music] 78 00:03:14,295 --> 00:03:15,563 [laughter] 79 00:03:15,596 --> 00:03:20,501 * 80 00:03:20,534 --> 00:03:22,436 [laughter] - Brooke! Brooke! 81 00:03:22,470 --> 00:03:24,872 The "New York Times" piece is the number-one most shared. 82 00:03:24,905 --> 00:03:28,175 - [gasps] - 986 comments. 989. 83 00:03:28,276 --> 00:03:29,743 - I'm forwarding to Simon Doonan, 84 00:03:29,777 --> 00:03:30,911 Roopal Patel, and Linda Fargo. 85 00:03:30,944 --> 00:03:32,313 - Oh, genius. - Hon. 86 00:03:32,346 --> 00:03:33,414 My mother wants you to meet, uh-- 87 00:03:33,447 --> 00:03:34,782 - Jackie O's sister 88 00:03:34,815 --> 00:03:36,384 just started following me on Twitter. 89 00:03:36,417 --> 00:03:37,918 - Lee Radziwill? Oh, my God! both: No! 90 00:03:37,951 --> 00:03:39,720 [phone ringing] - Oh, I'm getting a phone call. 91 00:03:39,753 --> 00:03:41,489 It's probably for business. 92 00:03:41,522 --> 00:03:43,391 This could be important, so I'm gonna... 93 00:03:43,424 --> 00:03:45,559 - Marc Jacobs Tweeted. - Yellow? 94 00:03:45,593 --> 00:03:48,762 - Lex Luthor! - Andy-monium! 95 00:03:48,796 --> 00:03:49,897 You guys getting close? 96 00:03:49,930 --> 00:03:51,765 - T-minus 38 minutes. 97 00:03:51,799 --> 00:03:53,301 Hey, tell Brooke "Congratulations" 98 00:03:53,334 --> 00:03:54,635 on that "Times" piece. 99 00:03:54,668 --> 00:03:57,538 - [chuckles] Yeah, yeah, yeah. 100 00:03:57,571 --> 00:03:59,440 - The kids have already watched it 10 times. 101 00:03:59,473 --> 00:04:01,809 - Yeah. - Okay, see you soon. 102 00:04:03,777 --> 00:04:06,614 - Come on, I know you've got a joke up your sleeve 103 00:04:06,647 --> 00:04:09,383 about Brooke and this "Times" thing--let's go. 104 00:04:09,417 --> 00:04:10,951 Spit it out. - No, no. Sorry. 105 00:04:10,984 --> 00:04:13,954 I was just getting another sweet "Thank you" note 106 00:04:13,987 --> 00:04:15,689 from one of my doormen. 107 00:04:15,723 --> 00:04:17,758 I loved that project. 108 00:04:17,791 --> 00:04:21,329 [laughter] - Uh-oh. Butt crack attack. 109 00:04:21,329 --> 00:04:23,697 - Oh, my God--Miles, what are you--give me that! 110 00:04:23,731 --> 00:04:25,533 Oh, don't worry, it's not porn. 111 00:04:25,566 --> 00:04:27,801 It's just my--my doormen. 112 00:04:27,835 --> 00:04:30,504 - Jill, those are your doorman shots? 113 00:04:30,538 --> 00:04:32,573 - Yeah, why? You knew they were nude. 114 00:04:32,606 --> 00:04:34,675 - I guess when you said they were nude, I didn't realize 115 00:04:34,708 --> 00:04:36,344 they wouldn't have any clothes on. 116 00:04:36,344 --> 00:04:37,978 - Andy, you're such a hypocrite. 117 00:04:38,011 --> 00:04:39,647 You pride yourself on knowing the names 118 00:04:39,680 --> 00:04:41,248 or all your mother's doormen, 119 00:04:41,349 --> 00:04:43,884 but do you really know anything about who they are? 120 00:04:43,917 --> 00:04:45,619 - Maybe not, but I don't think knowing 121 00:04:45,653 --> 00:04:48,656 Carlton bends to the left is gonna get me there. 122 00:04:48,689 --> 00:04:50,491 - It's to the right. 123 00:04:50,524 --> 00:04:51,492 - [chuckles] 124 00:04:51,525 --> 00:04:54,495 [rock music] 125 00:04:54,528 --> 00:04:56,764 * 126 00:04:56,797 --> 00:04:59,800 So, I'm thinking maybe better to not bring up 127 00:04:59,833 --> 00:05:02,470 your doorman project at this party. 128 00:05:02,503 --> 00:05:03,971 I'm afraid it's the wrong crowd. 129 00:05:04,004 --> 00:05:07,408 - Wow, you're actually embarrassed by me. 130 00:05:07,441 --> 00:05:09,510 - Am I not allowed to be weirded out by the fact 131 00:05:09,543 --> 00:05:11,479 that all these doormen who say, "Hey, Jill, how's it going," 132 00:05:11,512 --> 00:05:14,582 have been naked in our apartment? 133 00:05:14,615 --> 00:05:16,784 Did any of them sit on the furniture? 134 00:05:16,817 --> 00:05:18,686 - [sighs] How is it different 135 00:05:18,719 --> 00:05:21,755 from art students sketching nude models in class? 136 00:05:21,789 --> 00:05:23,657 - Because that's art. 137 00:05:23,691 --> 00:05:25,793 - Excuse me? - Okay, you know what I mean. 138 00:05:25,826 --> 00:05:29,296 You know--can we please talk about this another time? 139 00:05:29,397 --> 00:05:31,532 - No, I think it's important that the kids see 140 00:05:31,565 --> 00:05:33,767 that we fight and work it out. - Okay. 141 00:05:33,801 --> 00:05:36,604 - Daddy is making me very angry right now. 142 00:05:36,637 --> 00:05:38,038 - Are you guys getting a divorce? 143 00:05:38,071 --> 00:05:40,708 - No, Mi-- - Maybe. 144 00:05:40,741 --> 00:05:42,410 Oh, God. 145 00:05:42,443 --> 00:05:44,311 - [sighs] - Why are we stopping? 146 00:05:44,412 --> 00:05:46,414 - Because Daddy angered the gods 147 00:05:46,414 --> 00:05:48,849 with his "Zero traffic" comment. 148 00:05:48,882 --> 00:05:52,453 See, if you were Jewish, you would just know this stuff. 149 00:05:52,486 --> 00:05:54,054 [club music] 150 00:05:54,087 --> 00:05:55,489 - A toast to you, Ernie. 151 00:05:55,523 --> 00:05:56,624 And to many more happy returns 152 00:05:56,657 --> 00:05:58,559 for all the von Webers. 153 00:05:58,592 --> 00:06:00,428 - I'll drink to that. 154 00:06:00,428 --> 00:06:01,629 You know, I always say, 155 00:06:01,662 --> 00:06:04,031 behind every Fortune 500 company 156 00:06:04,064 --> 00:06:05,999 is a mother-- or mother-in-law-- 157 00:06:06,033 --> 00:06:09,570 with a great ass. - Ernie, please. 158 00:06:09,603 --> 00:06:11,605 You know, your wife is over there dipping her strawberries 159 00:06:11,639 --> 00:06:13,841 in my chocolate fountain as we speak. 160 00:06:13,874 --> 00:06:16,076 - I hope she's enjoying it. 161 00:06:16,109 --> 00:06:19,647 [phone ringing] 162 00:06:19,680 --> 00:06:21,782 - How is the Montauk Hellway? 163 00:06:21,815 --> 00:06:23,751 - We have been in a total standstill 164 00:06:23,784 --> 00:06:25,619 for over an hour. 165 00:06:25,653 --> 00:06:26,987 I am losing my mind. 166 00:06:27,020 --> 00:06:28,989 I would jump in front of a car 167 00:06:29,022 --> 00:06:30,524 if any were moving. 168 00:06:30,558 --> 00:06:31,725 Sorry to complain. 169 00:06:31,759 --> 00:06:32,826 Don't you have a double shift? 170 00:06:32,860 --> 00:06:34,528 - Yeah, but it's not too bad. 171 00:06:34,562 --> 00:06:36,997 - "Not too bad"? What's come over you? 172 00:06:37,030 --> 00:06:38,999 - Nothing--oh, we tried that fondue place 173 00:06:39,032 --> 00:06:40,901 you love last night. Delish! 174 00:06:40,934 --> 00:06:42,636 - "We"? Who's "We"? 175 00:06:42,670 --> 00:06:44,572 You mean--you mean, you and Graham? 176 00:06:44,605 --> 00:06:46,073 - Yes, me and Graham. 177 00:06:46,106 --> 00:06:48,576 Or "Graham and I," if my mom's listening. 178 00:06:48,609 --> 00:06:51,645 - Vaness, I can hear you blushing through the phone. 179 00:06:51,679 --> 00:06:53,113 Wow, I guess I have to get used to you guys 180 00:06:53,146 --> 00:06:55,516 being a couple again. Mazel tov. 181 00:06:55,549 --> 00:06:56,884 - Save it. I told you, 182 00:06:56,917 --> 00:06:58,719 he's leaving in a few weeks. 183 00:06:58,752 --> 00:07:02,155 Better go--I have a patient in a coma with very grim odds. 184 00:07:02,189 --> 00:07:04,091 - Oh, I hate when you do that to me. 185 00:07:04,124 --> 00:07:06,594 Now I feel bad complaining about traffic. 186 00:07:06,627 --> 00:07:08,028 - Don't--I've driven to Maine with your kids. 187 00:07:08,061 --> 00:07:09,497 I'd rather be here. 188 00:07:09,497 --> 00:07:11,632 - [laughs] Okay. 189 00:07:11,665 --> 00:07:13,066 [horns honking] 190 00:07:13,100 --> 00:07:14,635 All right, that's it. 191 00:07:14,668 --> 00:07:17,404 I'm gonna go see what the hell is going on. 192 00:07:17,505 --> 00:07:18,706 - Be careful! 193 00:07:18,739 --> 00:07:20,407 [horns honking] 194 00:07:20,508 --> 00:07:21,809 [upbeat music] 195 00:07:21,842 --> 00:07:23,511 - Where are you guys? 196 00:07:23,511 --> 00:07:26,013 Lady Gaga and Bono are about to get hologrammed in. 197 00:07:26,046 --> 00:07:27,515 - No! - [groaning] 198 00:07:27,515 --> 00:07:29,817 - This is the worst day of my life. 199 00:07:29,850 --> 00:07:32,786 - Pull it together, Hazel. You're being dramatic. 200 00:07:32,820 --> 00:07:34,688 Okay, here comes Jill. - [whining] 201 00:07:34,722 --> 00:07:38,125 - Stay tuned. 202 00:07:38,158 --> 00:07:40,193 What'd they say? - [sighs] 203 00:07:40,227 --> 00:07:41,629 Nothing. 204 00:07:41,662 --> 00:07:43,764 The reason for the traffic is nothing. 205 00:07:43,797 --> 00:07:47,668 No construction. No accidents. Nothing. 206 00:07:47,701 --> 00:07:50,137 - [sighs] We are never getting out of here. 207 00:07:50,170 --> 00:07:51,939 - I want to kill myself. 208 00:07:51,972 --> 00:07:53,741 - Guys, you're being dramatic. 209 00:07:53,774 --> 00:07:55,843 - Yeah, pull it together. 210 00:07:55,876 --> 00:07:57,678 [dramatic music] 211 00:07:57,711 --> 00:07:59,913 [screaming] 212 00:08:03,584 --> 00:08:05,152 - Hi, Candace. You're probably not checking your messages, 213 00:08:05,185 --> 00:08:06,887 but we are so, so sorry. 214 00:08:06,920 --> 00:08:08,989 I know how important it was for us to be there 215 00:08:09,022 --> 00:08:10,791 for your big welcome speech, 216 00:08:10,824 --> 00:08:14,027 but please, start without us. 217 00:08:14,061 --> 00:08:16,597 [sighs] God, I hope they're not waiting for us 218 00:08:16,630 --> 00:08:17,965 to get the party started. 219 00:08:17,998 --> 00:08:21,735 [dance music] 220 00:08:21,769 --> 00:08:22,736 - Whoa. 221 00:08:22,770 --> 00:08:28,709 * 222 00:08:28,742 --> 00:08:31,078 - Janice, teach us some new moves. 223 00:08:31,111 --> 00:08:32,580 What are they doing in da clubs? 224 00:08:32,613 --> 00:08:34,114 - Uh, well, okay. 225 00:08:34,147 --> 00:08:36,149 I'm a little out of it these days, but... 226 00:08:36,183 --> 00:08:38,819 all: Oh! 227 00:08:38,852 --> 00:08:41,454 - Okay! Okay! - Yeah! 228 00:08:41,488 --> 00:08:42,623 - Whoo! 229 00:08:42,656 --> 00:08:44,457 - That's how we do it in Michigan! 230 00:08:44,491 --> 00:08:46,760 For real! - Whoo! 231 00:08:46,794 --> 00:08:49,930 all: Oh! Oh! 232 00:08:49,963 --> 00:08:51,599 - Who am I kidding? 233 00:08:51,599 --> 00:08:55,435 Chapter two of my career hasn't exactly skyrocketed. 234 00:08:55,468 --> 00:08:58,038 [sighs] I mean, maybe I'm just not that great 235 00:08:58,071 --> 00:08:59,907 of a photographer, like Trixie said. 236 00:08:59,940 --> 00:09:01,474 - What are you talking about, hon? 237 00:09:01,508 --> 00:09:03,611 Two hours ago you were on top of the world. 238 00:09:03,611 --> 00:09:04,945 - I mean, I know I don't suck, 239 00:09:04,978 --> 00:09:06,914 but what if I'm only average? 240 00:09:06,947 --> 00:09:08,448 I always thought that kids were just 241 00:09:08,481 --> 00:09:10,483 a rest stop from work, but... 242 00:09:10,517 --> 00:09:11,785 - We're bored. 243 00:09:11,819 --> 00:09:13,453 - Maybe I'm just better at the mom thing, 244 00:09:13,486 --> 00:09:14,755 and I should accept it. 245 00:09:14,788 --> 00:09:16,690 - Hello? - My arm hurts. 246 00:09:16,724 --> 00:09:18,626 - Guys, I'm trying to talk to Daddy. 247 00:09:18,626 --> 00:09:20,060 Please stop interrupting. 248 00:09:20,093 --> 00:09:21,461 At least I know I'm good at that. 249 00:09:21,494 --> 00:09:23,196 Maybe that's my real calling. 250 00:09:23,230 --> 00:09:24,832 - Can we watch another movie? 251 00:09:24,865 --> 00:09:27,901 all: Mo-vie! Mo-vie! Mo-vie! 252 00:09:27,935 --> 00:09:31,238 - Guys, stop chanting, or I will climb back there 253 00:09:31,271 --> 00:09:34,908 and make you regret you ever met me! 254 00:09:34,942 --> 00:09:39,012 You know what I mean? 255 00:09:39,046 --> 00:09:41,915 [farting] 256 00:09:41,949 --> 00:09:43,851 - Sorry about that, Mr. Evans. 257 00:09:43,884 --> 00:09:46,119 - [gurgles] 258 00:09:46,153 --> 00:09:48,188 [wheezing] 259 00:09:48,221 --> 00:09:49,990 [grunting] 260 00:09:50,023 --> 00:09:53,026 - Holy shit. 261 00:09:54,762 --> 00:09:56,830 all: Mo-vie! Mo-vie! 262 00:09:56,864 --> 00:09:58,666 - Okay, they burned through everything else. 263 00:09:58,699 --> 00:10:00,734 We're down to "Sound of Music" or "Gandhi." 264 00:10:00,768 --> 00:10:02,535 "Gandhi" is longer, I think. 265 00:10:02,569 --> 00:10:04,104 - "Sound of Music." It has kids. 266 00:10:04,137 --> 00:10:06,006 It'll be more fun for them. 267 00:10:06,039 --> 00:10:08,175 [musical fanfare] 268 00:10:08,208 --> 00:10:11,712 - But why would Rolfe turn so mean all of a sudden? 269 00:10:11,745 --> 00:10:14,614 - Because he's a Nazi. - What's a Nazi? 270 00:10:14,648 --> 00:10:16,183 - Bad guys. - Are they real? 271 00:10:16,216 --> 00:10:18,551 - Yes. - Are they gonna get us? 272 00:10:18,585 --> 00:10:20,087 - I'm scared. - Mom? 273 00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:22,055 - Shh. Okay, guys. 274 00:10:22,089 --> 00:10:24,291 A long time ago, there was a lot 275 00:10:24,324 --> 00:10:26,626 of economic disparity in Germany, 276 00:10:26,660 --> 00:10:28,561 and somebody had to take the blame. 277 00:10:28,595 --> 00:10:30,297 - So, if they caught the von Trapps, 278 00:10:30,330 --> 00:10:31,932 would they have killed them? 279 00:10:31,965 --> 00:10:33,566 - The Nazis would kill people? 280 00:10:33,600 --> 00:10:36,704 - No! I mean, yes. 281 00:10:36,737 --> 00:10:39,539 - Look, guys, the point is, they weren't caught. 282 00:10:39,572 --> 00:10:41,709 They got away, thanks to those awesome nuns, 283 00:10:41,742 --> 00:10:45,012 and now they own a prosperous B&B in Vermont. 284 00:10:45,045 --> 00:10:48,048 [horns honking] 285 00:10:50,283 --> 00:10:52,686 - Oh, my God. Did you see that? 286 00:10:52,720 --> 00:10:54,688 Excuse me? 287 00:10:54,722 --> 00:10:56,957 I think you dropped something. - I'm sorry? 288 00:10:56,990 --> 00:10:59,126 - That bottle that just flew out of your car? 289 00:10:59,159 --> 00:11:01,061 I think you meant to put it in a trash can. 290 00:11:01,094 --> 00:11:02,930 - [groans] - Hon, back off. 291 00:11:02,963 --> 00:11:04,331 You never know who carries a gun 292 00:11:04,364 --> 00:11:05,866 in their glove compartment these days. 293 00:11:05,899 --> 00:11:07,735 - No, I am sick and tired 294 00:11:07,735 --> 00:11:09,737 of people not standing up for what's right. 295 00:11:09,770 --> 00:11:12,305 If people had spoken up earlier during World War II, 296 00:11:12,339 --> 00:11:14,875 the world would be a very different place right now. 297 00:11:14,908 --> 00:11:17,745 - Excuse me? Did you just call me a Nazi? 298 00:11:17,745 --> 00:11:19,579 - No. - Stop talking. 299 00:11:19,612 --> 00:11:21,114 Just roll up your window. 300 00:11:21,148 --> 00:11:22,950 - Well, that would be obvious. 301 00:11:22,983 --> 00:11:25,085 I'm in a very delicate situation here. 302 00:11:25,118 --> 00:11:26,754 - And whose fault is that? 303 00:11:26,754 --> 00:11:29,156 - I hate when people litter. 304 00:11:29,189 --> 00:11:30,924 - Well, I hate nosy bitches. 305 00:11:30,958 --> 00:11:33,827 Enjoy. 306 00:11:33,861 --> 00:11:36,363 - Hey. Follow her. Go on that side road thing. 307 00:11:36,396 --> 00:11:38,065 - Hon, only sleazebags use the shoulder. 308 00:11:38,098 --> 00:11:39,632 It's for emergencies. 309 00:11:39,666 --> 00:11:41,068 - Well, this is an emergency. 310 00:11:41,101 --> 00:11:43,804 We're missing the dark chocolate fountain. 311 00:11:43,837 --> 00:11:45,638 - [sighs] 312 00:11:45,672 --> 00:11:47,674 - Here you go, princess. - Ah. 313 00:11:47,775 --> 00:11:49,376 - Oh, she's on a diet. - Just eat a little. 314 00:11:49,409 --> 00:11:52,545 - Nice girl. - Thank you. 315 00:11:52,579 --> 00:11:55,548 Janice, I'm so glad you could come today. 316 00:11:55,582 --> 00:11:59,052 I hope the whole "White" theme isn't offensive to you. 317 00:11:59,086 --> 00:12:03,356 I want you to know I support #BlackLivesMatter. 318 00:12:03,390 --> 00:12:07,660 #Okay? 319 00:12:07,694 --> 00:12:09,797 - Brooke, I have to say something. 320 00:12:09,797 --> 00:12:11,031 - Tell me who it is. 321 00:12:11,064 --> 00:12:12,332 Tell me who treated you differently 322 00:12:12,365 --> 00:12:13,901 because of the color of your skin 323 00:12:13,934 --> 00:12:15,368 and I will fire her today. 324 00:12:15,402 --> 00:12:17,838 - Ah...this is awkward. 325 00:12:17,871 --> 00:12:22,675 Um, I've been... getting the impression... 326 00:12:22,709 --> 00:12:25,212 that you think I'm black. 327 00:12:25,245 --> 00:12:28,115 - The term is "African American," 328 00:12:28,148 --> 00:12:30,951 and honestly, I don't see color. 329 00:12:30,984 --> 00:12:32,419 I just see people. 330 00:12:32,452 --> 00:12:34,221 - Brooke, come on. 331 00:12:34,254 --> 00:12:36,990 You always insist on calling me "J'neece." 332 00:12:37,024 --> 00:12:38,225 You always want to gossip with me 333 00:12:38,258 --> 00:12:41,161 about Kanye and Idris Elba. 334 00:12:41,194 --> 00:12:42,863 You got me that "Essence" subscription-- 335 00:12:42,896 --> 00:12:43,997 you know, which I appreciate, 336 00:12:44,031 --> 00:12:45,265 and the articles are great-- 337 00:12:45,298 --> 00:12:47,400 - Janice, we're all equal-- 338 00:12:47,434 --> 00:12:49,269 - For the last time, it's not "J'neece." 339 00:12:49,302 --> 00:12:53,841 It's Janice. And I'm not black. 340 00:12:53,841 --> 00:12:56,309 - But you identify as black, right? 341 00:12:56,343 --> 00:12:58,645 Aren't you from Detroit? - No. 342 00:12:58,678 --> 00:13:01,849 Bloomfield Hills. I'm white. 343 00:13:01,882 --> 00:13:02,850 [chuckles] 344 00:13:02,883 --> 00:13:05,853 - [sighs] Well... 345 00:13:05,853 --> 00:13:09,122 You really led us down the primrose path, didn't you? 346 00:13:09,156 --> 00:13:12,092 Throwing in all those "Aights" and "Grrrls"! 347 00:13:12,125 --> 00:13:15,428 - That was you. Not me. 348 00:13:15,462 --> 00:13:18,932 Now that I think about it, I am retroactively offended. 349 00:13:18,966 --> 00:13:20,868 In fact, I have half a mind to call 350 00:13:20,901 --> 00:13:22,769 the Southern Poverty Law Center and report 351 00:13:22,870 --> 00:13:25,005 that my civil rights have been violated. 352 00:13:25,038 --> 00:13:26,306 - But you're not black. 353 00:13:26,339 --> 00:13:28,876 - Yeah, but you thought I was. 354 00:13:28,876 --> 00:13:30,477 So all those things you said to me 355 00:13:30,510 --> 00:13:33,313 were very offensive-- if I had been. 356 00:13:33,346 --> 00:13:35,282 - But you're not. - Yeah. 357 00:13:35,315 --> 00:13:37,017 And actually, as a white person, 358 00:13:37,050 --> 00:13:38,886 I was also discriminated against 359 00:13:38,886 --> 00:13:40,353 because you gave preferential treatment 360 00:13:40,387 --> 00:13:42,455 to someone solely based on their race. 361 00:13:42,489 --> 00:13:44,892 - But it was you. - It was black me. 362 00:13:44,892 --> 00:13:46,359 Not white me. 363 00:13:46,393 --> 00:13:49,062 You'll be hearing from white me's lawyers. 364 00:13:49,096 --> 00:13:51,798 Excuse me. 365 00:13:51,899 --> 00:13:55,102 - Oh, my God. - Mind blown. 366 00:13:55,135 --> 00:13:56,937 - I'm just gonna say it: 367 00:13:56,970 --> 00:13:59,239 I thought she was a little boring for a black person. 368 00:13:59,272 --> 00:14:02,342 [hip-hop music] 369 00:14:05,979 --> 00:14:07,915 c] - Hi. - Hi. 370 00:14:07,915 --> 00:14:09,582 - Why are you whispering? - 'Cause you're whispering. 371 00:14:09,616 --> 00:14:11,051 Why are you whispering? 372 00:14:11,084 --> 00:14:12,385 - Well, you know how I had 373 00:14:12,419 --> 00:14:14,354 that terminal comatose patient? 374 00:14:14,387 --> 00:14:17,057 - Oh, no. Did he croak? - Actually, no. 375 00:14:17,090 --> 00:14:18,926 I seem to have brought him back to life. 376 00:14:18,926 --> 00:14:20,928 - Oh, my God! Miracle worker. 377 00:14:20,928 --> 00:14:22,362 Why are you never in that "Best Doctors" 378 00:14:22,395 --> 00:14:23,964 issue of "New York" magazine? 379 00:14:23,997 --> 00:14:26,133 - Uh, well, before you call the editor, 380 00:14:26,166 --> 00:14:28,568 you should know I think I cured him with a massive fart. 381 00:14:28,601 --> 00:14:31,338 [laughter] 382 00:14:31,371 --> 00:14:34,141 I'm on speaker? Hi, guys. 383 00:14:34,174 --> 00:14:36,944 Hating you. - Why? 384 00:14:36,944 --> 00:14:39,346 You gave us our first laugh in hours. 385 00:14:39,379 --> 00:14:43,050 More miracles. 386 00:14:43,083 --> 00:14:45,052 - [grunts] Hey, great news. 387 00:14:45,085 --> 00:14:48,088 Just got another tasty offer for your wife's company. 388 00:14:48,121 --> 00:14:51,324 Can't say I'm surprised. - Huh. 389 00:14:51,358 --> 00:14:53,793 Feels a little premature, don't you think? 390 00:14:53,826 --> 00:14:57,330 - Hell, no, got to strike when the iron's hot. 391 00:14:57,364 --> 00:15:01,868 Dude, was I wrong about the bagels? 392 00:15:01,969 --> 00:15:04,137 - Joseph wants to open a store in Chicago? 393 00:15:04,171 --> 00:15:06,206 - He was just here, yeah. 394 00:15:06,239 --> 00:15:08,008 Oh, my God. Joy! 395 00:15:08,041 --> 00:15:11,311 You actually came! - Of course I came. 396 00:15:12,312 --> 00:15:14,114 I'm so sorry to be late. 397 00:15:14,147 --> 00:15:16,316 The traffic was, shall we say, trying. 398 00:15:16,349 --> 00:15:18,085 - Oh, well, if you're saying that, 399 00:15:18,118 --> 00:15:20,053 it must have been unbearable. 400 00:15:20,087 --> 00:15:21,488 Who's more patient than you? 401 00:15:21,521 --> 00:15:23,423 - No one! 402 00:15:23,456 --> 00:15:25,558 - Guys, Joy Green, 403 00:15:25,592 --> 00:15:29,029 author of "The Joy Manifesto" is in the house! 404 00:15:29,062 --> 00:15:31,431 [cheering] 405 00:15:31,464 --> 00:15:33,266 - This is great! 406 00:15:33,300 --> 00:15:35,168 How did we ever live without this? 407 00:15:35,202 --> 00:15:37,304 - I want a cookie. - Dottie, no. 408 00:15:37,337 --> 00:15:39,306 You're already cracked-out on sugar as it is. 409 00:15:39,339 --> 00:15:41,408 - We have lots of other options. - I want a cookie! 410 00:15:41,441 --> 00:15:43,910 - Smushed banana, seaweed shards, 411 00:15:44,011 --> 00:15:46,013 cheddar bunny dust-- this is disgusting. 412 00:15:46,046 --> 00:15:47,480 - Cookie! - Not so much fun 413 00:15:47,514 --> 00:15:49,316 being on snack bag duty, is it? 414 00:15:49,349 --> 00:15:51,018 I love driving. - Cookie! 415 00:15:51,051 --> 00:15:53,020 - It's in park. Okay. 416 00:15:53,020 --> 00:15:55,088 Dottie, have some pineapple. 417 00:15:55,122 --> 00:15:56,923 See? Problem solved. 418 00:15:57,024 --> 00:15:58,625 - So, what are we gonna discuss 419 00:15:58,658 --> 00:16:01,294 now that I know that you hate the one project 420 00:16:01,328 --> 00:16:03,930 I've been excited about since going freelance. 421 00:16:04,031 --> 00:16:06,133 - That's not what I said. - Mommy? 422 00:16:06,166 --> 00:16:09,036 - Dottie, I said no more cookies, end of story. 423 00:16:09,069 --> 00:16:11,671 Don't ask again. - Um, guys? 424 00:16:11,704 --> 00:16:13,940 Dottie looks weird. 425 00:16:14,041 --> 00:16:15,175 - Oh, shit! 426 00:16:15,208 --> 00:16:16,409 - We have to get her to a hospital. 427 00:16:16,443 --> 00:16:19,046 - Okay, sleazebag lane, here we come. 428 00:16:19,046 --> 00:16:21,414 [tires squealing] - [screaming] Oh, my God! 429 00:16:21,448 --> 00:16:24,384 Mom! - Mommy! 430 00:16:29,389 --> 00:16:32,059 - Yeah, just an allergic reaction. 431 00:16:32,059 --> 00:16:34,694 Swelling's down. That Benadryl works fast. 432 00:16:34,727 --> 00:16:37,397 - So, note to self: no pineapples for Dottie. 433 00:16:37,430 --> 00:16:39,499 And thank you for looking at Hazel's head. 434 00:16:39,532 --> 00:16:41,134 - And for doing that CAT scan. 435 00:16:41,168 --> 00:16:42,569 - We were running pretty fast. 436 00:16:42,602 --> 00:16:44,504 - My arm still hurts. 437 00:16:44,537 --> 00:16:46,639 - Oh, boy. Everyone wants attention. 438 00:16:46,673 --> 00:16:48,075 * Drama 439 00:16:48,075 --> 00:16:50,110 - Anyway, thank you again, Doctor. 440 00:16:50,143 --> 00:16:51,678 We will get out of your way. Come on, guys. 441 00:16:51,711 --> 00:16:53,280 - No, seriously. 442 00:16:53,313 --> 00:16:56,083 It's been hurting since Tuesday after the game. 443 00:16:56,083 --> 00:16:58,185 - Well, what happened on Tuesday, huh? 444 00:16:58,218 --> 00:17:00,387 Maybe I should take a look. - Why not? 445 00:17:00,420 --> 00:17:02,155 I'm sure your mother's already 446 00:17:02,189 --> 00:17:03,623 excommunicated us by now. 447 00:17:03,656 --> 00:17:06,759 - And to have everyone here that I truly care about 448 00:17:06,793 --> 00:17:10,097 all in one place is like a dream come true to me. 449 00:17:10,130 --> 00:17:13,233 My son Alexander and his beautiful wife, 450 00:17:13,266 --> 00:17:15,402 Brooke von Weber, whose handbag line 451 00:17:15,435 --> 00:17:17,104 is taking the world by storm! 452 00:17:17,104 --> 00:17:19,706 [cheers and applause] 453 00:17:19,739 --> 00:17:23,110 And, uh, Jill and Anderson... 454 00:17:23,110 --> 00:17:25,178 who do things... 455 00:17:25,212 --> 00:17:26,746 they're--they're around here somewhere. 456 00:17:26,779 --> 00:17:30,016 Anyway, please enjoy Bronson's latest decadence: 457 00:17:30,117 --> 00:17:34,121 ice cream sandwiches made with grain alcohol gelato. 458 00:17:34,121 --> 00:17:36,256 And just warn the children, please. 459 00:17:36,289 --> 00:17:38,291 [laughter] 460 00:17:38,325 --> 00:17:40,493 - Babe, great news. 461 00:17:40,527 --> 00:17:42,229 Pete just got a sick offer 462 00:17:42,262 --> 00:17:44,697 from a guy who wants to buy von Weber. 463 00:17:44,731 --> 00:17:46,299 - Really? - Yeah. 464 00:17:46,333 --> 00:17:47,300 I think we should do it. 465 00:17:47,334 --> 00:17:50,203 Strike while the iron's hot. 466 00:17:50,237 --> 00:17:52,239 - So, you mean someone else 467 00:17:52,272 --> 00:17:55,275 would own my company and my name? 468 00:17:55,308 --> 00:17:57,310 - Yes, but you'd be set. 469 00:17:57,344 --> 00:17:58,978 You'd never have to work again. 470 00:17:59,011 --> 00:18:01,448 - I didn't have to work before. 471 00:18:01,481 --> 00:18:03,616 I love what I'm doing, Lex. 472 00:18:03,650 --> 00:18:05,718 - But you're so busy and stressed. 473 00:18:05,752 --> 00:18:08,488 Don't you want to get back to focusing on your philanthropy, 474 00:18:08,521 --> 00:18:11,258 the kids, get back to being Class Mom-- 475 00:18:11,291 --> 00:18:13,493 - No, I'm never going back. 476 00:18:13,526 --> 00:18:16,496 Do you still not understand that I've changed? 477 00:18:16,529 --> 00:18:18,431 - Yeah, of course. Yeah. 478 00:18:18,465 --> 00:18:20,833 - I built von Weber from nothing. 479 00:18:20,867 --> 00:18:25,738 - [chuckles] Well, not exactly from nothing. 480 00:18:25,772 --> 00:18:27,640 - How dare you. 481 00:18:27,674 --> 00:18:30,677 Plenty of people have seed money and then blow it. 482 00:18:30,710 --> 00:18:32,612 [sighs] You know what? 483 00:18:32,645 --> 00:18:34,547 I don't want to do this again. I can't. 484 00:18:34,581 --> 00:18:36,183 - Can't what? 485 00:18:36,216 --> 00:18:39,352 Brooke, are you saying what I think you're saying? 486 00:18:39,386 --> 00:18:42,054 About our vows renewal? Are you having doubts? 487 00:18:42,088 --> 00:18:43,356 - I just found out Janice 488 00:18:43,390 --> 00:18:45,725 is a white girl from the suburbs. 489 00:18:45,758 --> 00:18:49,196 And then a Twitter follower who I thought was Lee Radziwill 490 00:18:49,196 --> 00:18:50,697 turned out to be a fraud. 491 00:18:50,730 --> 00:18:53,466 I don't know who to believe anymore. 492 00:18:53,500 --> 00:18:57,370 I just--I need some time to think. 493 00:19:04,644 --> 00:19:05,878 didn't believe you about the arm. 494 00:19:05,912 --> 00:19:07,214 But I will believe you when you tell me 495 00:19:07,214 --> 00:19:08,348 you have Type 2 diabetes. 496 00:19:08,381 --> 00:19:09,416 - You know what? 497 00:19:09,449 --> 00:19:10,817 Who needs caviar and champagne 498 00:19:10,850 --> 00:19:12,419 when we can be here. 499 00:19:12,452 --> 00:19:14,787 - And guys, I actually drove us somewhere 500 00:19:14,821 --> 00:19:17,424 and we all survived. - Just barely! 501 00:19:17,457 --> 00:19:18,425 - Yay, Mommy! - Yay! 502 00:19:18,458 --> 00:19:19,892 [all cheering] 503 00:19:19,926 --> 00:19:22,229 - Cheers for Mom. - Yay, Mommy. 504 00:19:22,262 --> 00:19:25,232 Yay, Mommy. 505 00:19:25,232 --> 00:19:27,334 - Brooke. Hi. Oh, my God. 506 00:19:27,367 --> 00:19:29,869 Is Candace totally ripshit that we're not there? 507 00:19:29,902 --> 00:19:31,471 - No. 508 00:19:31,504 --> 00:19:33,840 She's too busy flirting with Ernie Krevitt. 509 00:19:33,873 --> 00:19:36,142 But I'm really upset. 510 00:19:36,243 --> 00:19:37,810 - Really? I'm so sorry. 511 00:19:37,844 --> 00:19:39,746 We had to make a pit stop at the ER. 512 00:19:39,779 --> 00:19:42,249 - Can we stay on me? 513 00:19:42,249 --> 00:19:45,818 I just--I think I'm freaking out about Lex. 514 00:19:45,852 --> 00:19:47,520 - Why? What happened? 515 00:19:47,554 --> 00:19:50,257 - As the day gets closer, I'm just not sure 516 00:19:50,257 --> 00:19:52,392 that he's the man I want to marry again. 517 00:19:52,425 --> 00:19:53,860 - Oh, everyone gets cold feet 518 00:19:53,893 --> 00:19:55,695 before a...vows renewal. 519 00:19:55,728 --> 00:19:58,365 - Oh, and you missed meeting Joy Green. 520 00:19:58,398 --> 00:20:01,200 You guys both always give me new perspective. 521 00:20:01,234 --> 00:20:04,304 - Oh, thanks, but I'll meet her at the vows renewal, right? 522 00:20:04,337 --> 00:20:07,173 - Ugh, I just can't think about that right now. 523 00:20:07,206 --> 00:20:08,708 Tell the kids I'm bringing home 524 00:20:08,741 --> 00:20:11,511 100 Sprinkles cupcakes for each of them. 525 00:20:11,544 --> 00:20:13,280 - Kids, say "Hi" to Aunt Brooke. 526 00:20:13,313 --> 00:20:14,814 all: Hi, Aunt Brooke. 527 00:20:14,847 --> 00:20:17,617 - Hi, guys. Everyone missed you. 528 00:20:17,650 --> 00:20:18,951 Jill, I told you you guys should have 529 00:20:18,985 --> 00:20:20,653 taken the seaplane with us. 530 00:20:20,687 --> 00:20:22,789 - Wait, we could have flown? 531 00:20:22,822 --> 00:20:24,691 - No way! - Seriously? 532 00:20:24,724 --> 00:20:25,792 - Is that true? We could have flown? 533 00:20:25,825 --> 00:20:27,294 What's wrong with you? 534 00:20:27,327 --> 00:20:28,595 - Brooke, I'll call you back later. 535 00:20:28,628 --> 00:20:30,530 If I'm still alive. 536 00:20:30,563 --> 00:20:31,964 - How come you didn't ask me that? 537 00:20:31,998 --> 00:20:33,566 - Okay, guys, let me explain. 538 00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:35,402 It just felt a little too extravagant 539 00:20:35,435 --> 00:20:36,836 to fly to Long Island. 540 00:20:36,869 --> 00:20:38,305 And no one feels bad for you 541 00:20:38,338 --> 00:20:40,473 if you die in a private plane crash. 542 00:20:40,507 --> 00:20:45,211 And we're Webers, not vons, remember? 543 00:20:45,244 --> 00:20:46,913 - But we could have been in a seaplane! 544 00:20:46,946 --> 00:20:48,848 - Why don't you ever let us have any fun? 545 00:20:48,881 --> 00:20:50,917 - Why don't you ever let us do anything fun? 546 00:20:50,950 --> 00:20:53,553 We missed the party! 547 00:20:53,586 --> 00:20:56,589 [all talking at once] 548 00:20:58,825 --> 00:21:01,394 - Oh, Dr. Wrigley, Herman was at death's door, 549 00:21:01,428 --> 00:21:02,862 and you wouldn't let him go. 550 00:21:02,895 --> 00:21:04,764 - [groans] - You saved him. 551 00:21:04,797 --> 00:21:06,566 We owe you everything. 552 00:21:06,599 --> 00:21:08,801 - You know, I wish I could say I did something 553 00:21:08,835 --> 00:21:09,869 to bring this about. 554 00:21:09,902 --> 00:21:11,604 Medicine is part science, 555 00:21:11,638 --> 00:21:14,907 part art, and the rest is a mystery. 556 00:21:14,941 --> 00:21:17,444 - It must have come from above. 557 00:21:17,477 --> 00:21:21,614 - Or...below. 558 00:21:21,648 --> 00:21:24,817 - For more "Odd Mom Out," go to BravoTV.com. 559 00:21:24,851 --> 00:21:26,786 [seagull chirping] - Oh, dear. 560 00:21:28,688 --> 00:21:30,590 - Left, right, left, right, left, right.