♪ WE PLAY SOME MUSIC NOW ♪ ♪ AND THE DRUMS ♪
♪ A LITTLE BIT OF KEYBOARD TOO ♪ ♪
♪ IT'S "THE LATE LATE SHOW!" ♪ Reggie: LADIES AND
GENTLEMEN, ALL THE WAY FROM INSIDE, GIVE IT UP FOR YOUR
HOST, THE ONE, THE ONLY JAMES CORDEN!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
♪ ♪ James: THANK YOU SO MUCH
I HAVE TO TELL YOU, THIS MAN RIGHT HERE HAS GIVEN ME SO MUCH
LIFE AND LOVE RIGHT NOW, WHAT IS YOUR NAME SERVER?
DANNY APPEARED TO BE MADE MY DAY, THIS IS--
WE ARE SHOWING THIS.
HANG ON, WHAT NUMBER SHOW IS THIS?
Rob: 1,166.
James: 1,166 TIMES I HAVE NEVER HAD SUCH A JOYOUS REACTION
THEN I GOT FROM DANNY.
DANNY WAS GOING OH, MY GOD, OH, MY GOD.
YOU ARE ADORABLE!
IT'S SO NICE TO MEET YOU!
James: LET'S SEE WHO OUR GUESTS ARE ON THE SHOW TONIGHT!
SHE'S A BRILLIANT EMMY-NOMINATED ACTOR, WRITER, DIRECTOR,
PRODUCER AND CREATOR OF "RUSSIAN DOLL."
SHE'S STARRING IN A NEW HIT SERIES CALLED "POKER FACE."
THE DIVINE, THE GLORIOUS, NATASHA LYONNE!
SHE IS HERE TONIGHT!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] THERE SHE IS, HOW ARE YOU?
Natasha: I AM PRETTY GOOD.
James: I HAVE BEEN FOLLOWING THE PRESS TOUR YOU
HAVE BEEN ON, AND SOME OF THE LOOKS THAT NATASHA LYONNE HAS
PULLED OUT OR MAY BE THE GREATEST OF ALL TIME.
IS THAT THE PLAN?
Natasha: THAT IS THE PLAN, I AM TRYING TO KEEP IT QUICK FOR
THE KIDS.
James: HOW FAR AN ADVANCE DID YOU THINK THAT'S WHAT I'M
GOING TO WEAR ON "THE LATE LATE SHOW"?
Natasha: IT WAS ABOUT SIX YEARS AGO I TAGGED IT AND I SAID
I KNOW THIS TIME WILL COME, I DO EVERYTHING IN SIXES.
SIX, SIX, SIX.
AND IT WORKS OUT.
James: WELL, THANK THE LORD FOR 6-6-6.
BLESS YOU FOR BEING HERE, NATASHA LYONNE, AND THIS IS
INCREDIBLY EXCITING.
MULTIPLE ACADEMY AWARD-WINNING DIRECTOR YOU KNOW FROM "KNIVES
OUT", "GLASS ONION", "LOOPER" AND SO MUCH MORE.
THE OUTRAGEOUSLY TALENTED RIAN JOHNSON!
IS ON THE SHOW TONIGHT!
HOW ARE YOU?
Rian: HELLO.
James: I AM SO THRILLED YOU ARE HERE, ARE YOU WELL?
Rian: I'M DOING SO, SO GOOD.
James: I AM LOVING THIS LOOK, ARE YOU ALWAYS THIS TIED
UP?
Rian: I WAKE UP LIKE THIS, JAMES.
James: I SPENT SOME TIME BEFORE THE SHOW AND I KNOW THIS
IS WHAT EVERYBODY IS THINKING, HE SMELLS ABSOLUTELY DIVINE.
BLESS YOU FOR BEING HERE, RIAN JOHNSON, EVERYBODY!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] AND THIS IS EXCITING, AND A
TREMENDOUS STAND UP COMEDIAN.
AND WE'RE THRILLED HE'S MAKING HIS LATE-NIGHT STAND-UP DEBUT
HERE WITH US TONIGHT.
WE LOVE HIM ON THIS SHOW.
IT'S DYLAN ADLER!
Dylan: HI!
James: HI, DYLAN.
Dylan: JAMES, IT'S ACTUALLY PRONOUNCED NATASHA LYONNE.
James: ARE YOU CHECKING THAT SHE IS NOT COMING OUT?
IS SHE COMING OUT?
Dylan: SHE IS COMING OUT TO ME.
Natasha: HI.
Dylan: HI, OH, MY GOD.
Natasha: MY HAIR IS STRAIGHT NOW.
IS THIS THE WAKE?
Dylan: IT IS AWAKE AND I AM A BIG FAN.
I AM SORRY I DID THIS.
James: IT IS TWO NATASHA LYONNES.
DYLAN ADLER, EVERYBODY, AND THIS IS "THE LATE LATE SHOW"!
ROLL THE TITLE!
♪ ♪ ♪ THE LATE LATE SHOW, OH, OH,
THE LATE LATE SHOW, WOO! ♪ ♪ THE LATE LATE SHOW, OH, OH,
THE LATE LATE SHOW OH-OH! ♪ ♪ IT'S THE LATE, LATE SHOW ♪
THANK YOU VERY, VERY MUCH FOR BEING HERE.
ARE YOU WELL?
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT, REG, WHAT ARE YOU LIGHTING UP WITH YOUR TORCH?
Reggie: THE NEW KEYBOARDIST FORGOT HIS WALLET.
James: YOU FORGOT YOUR WALLET?
OH, YOU LOST IT.
YOU LOST IT ON THE SET?
MAY BE.
James: WHEN DID YOU LAST SEE IT?
MONDAY.
[LAUGHTER] James: YOU LOST YOUR WALLET
ON MONDAY?
IT IS WEDNESDAY.
YEAH.
James: AND YOU ARE COMPLETELY CHILL ABOUT THIS?
SPEAK-- NO ONE HAS STOLEN MONEY YET.
James: AND YOU THOUGHT THE BEST TIME TO LOOK FOR WAS IN
THAT TINY MOMENT-- YEAH.
James: WHERE THE CREDITS RUN, REG, GET THE TORCH OUT.
YOU NEVER KNOW, SOMETIMES IT'S AN INSPIRED LOOK.
I SPEAK OF THE SECOND SEARCH.
James: HAVE YOU DONE THAT THING WHERE YOU LOOK FOR YOUR
PHONE AND YOU REALIZE IT'S IN YOUR HAND?
YEAH.
Reggie: ALL THE TIME.
James: I HAVE DONE THAT-- BECAUSE THE FEAR, I THINK IT IS
RARELY TALKED ABOUT, THE FEAR THAT STRIKES YOUR CORE WHEN YOU
THINK YOU MAY HAVE LOST YOUR PHONE.
YOU GO-- [LAUGHTER]
LIKE I GO FROM THAT TO AN 11.
I AT NO POINT TO GO, HANG ON, CALM DOWN.
IT'S AROUND.
IT'S LIKE I HAVE LOST MY PHONE.
I HAVE LOST MY BELIEF!
IT'S THAT TIME, IT'S TIME FOR "THE NEWS."
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] THERE'S STILL CONFUSION ABOUT
THE THREE UNIDENTIFIED OBJECTS THE UNITED STATES GOVERNMENT
SHOT DOWN OVER THE WEEKEND.
INTELLIGENCE OFFICIALS NOW SAY THEY DO NOT BELIEVE THE OBJECTS
WERE FROM CHINA.
OR POSED ANY KIND OF NATIONAL SECURITY THREAT.
THIS IS A VERY EVASIVE WAY OF SAYING THEY TOOK OUT THREE BUD
LIGHT BLIMPS.
[LAUGHTER] THIS IS TRUE, THE GOVERNMENT
SAID MANY OBJECTS IN THE SKIES COULD BE USED CAR LOT BALLOONS.
WHICH EXPLAINS WHY THEY WERE SO TRICKY TO SHOOT DOWN.
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] YOU KNOW, I WENT TO MIME SCHOOL.
AND IT'S NOW BEING REPORTED THAT U.S. AUTHORITIES TRACKED THE
CHINESE SPY BALLOON FROM ITS LAUNCH AND WATCHED IT FOR A
WHOLE WEEK BEFORE IT CROSSED INTO AMERICAN AIRSPACE.
THEY JUST SAT BACK AND WATCHED THAT BALLOON FROM SECRET CAMERAS
FOR A WEEK.
PERVERTS.
[LAUGHTER] THEY ARE PERVERTS.
PEOPLE WERE WATCHING A BALLOON THAT WAS WATCHING PEOPLE.
WHEN YOU SAY IT LIKE THAT, IT'S HARD NOT TO SOUND LIKE SOMEONE'S
COUSIN WHO SMOKES WAY TOO MUCH WEED.
[LAUGHTER] MOVING ON, FOR THE VERY FIRST
TIME, STREAMING IS EXPECTED TO TOP TRADITIONAL TELEVISION LATER
THIS YEAR.
ANALYSTS EXPECT TRADITIONAL TELEVISION TO SOON ACCOUNT FOR
LESS THAN HALF OF DAILY VIEWING.
WHICH EXPLAINS OUR NETWORK'S NEW SLOGAN.
"CBS.
OH, [BLEEP]!" IT'S WEIRD TO LOOK BACK AND
REMEMBER THAT NOT SO LONG AGO THERE WAS AN EXACT MINUTE OF THE
WEEK WHERE YOU COULD WATCH YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW AND IF YOU
MISSED IT YOU WERE OUT OF LUCK.
THE NETWORKS WERE LIKE "OH, YOU'RE BUSY AT EXACTLY 8:30 ON A
WEDNESDAY?
NOT OUR PROBLEM, BITCH!" IAN, THE CAMERAS ARE ON, WE HAVE
ARE ON NETWORK TELEVISION, WE HAVE A PLATFORM, HOW DO WE SAVE
NETWORK TV?
Ian: WE HAVE TO GO FULL NUDE, THERE'S NO WAY AROUND IT.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] [CROWD CHANTING "TAKE IT OFF"]
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] James: THERE IS A LADY UP
THERE WHO IS SO EXCITED AT THE PROSPECT OF EVEN GLANCING MY
PENIS.
IT IS EXTRAORDINARY.
[LAUGHTER] I LIKE THIS IDEA, I LIKE THIS
IDEA.
I THINK A NUDE SHOW WOULD BE FUN.
Ian: I WOULD LOVE TO DO IT.
James: NOT IN A GROSS WAY, LIKE IT'S JUST THE AUDIENCE WE
FIND A LOT OF NATURISTS.
WE FIND ENOUGH TO DO THE WHOLE SHOW COMPLETELY NUDE.
Ian: YEAH.
James: WE WILL LOOK INTO THIS, A NUDE SHOW.
IN OTHER NEWS, THE SANDWICH CHAIN SUBWAY HAS CONFIRMED THAT
IT IS UP FOR SALE.
EXPERTS SAY SUBWAY COULD BE VALUED AT MORE THAN TEN BILLION
DOLLARS.
THE SALE WILL COME WITH A MEDIUM DRINK AND A BAG OF SALT AND
VINEGAR CHIPS.
[LAUGHTER] THE CHAIN IS WORTH TEN BILLION
DOLLARS.
OR TO PUT THAT IN TERMS SUBWAY FANS WILL UNDERSTAND, TWO
BILLION "FIVE-DOLLAR FOOTLONGS."
SUBWAY HAS BEEN ON A REBOUND RECENTLY AND IS WELL-POSITIONED
FOR A SALE.
EXPERTS SAY IT'S ALL BECAUSE OF A REVAMPED MENU, RENOVATED
STORES, AND ENOUGH TIME PASSING FOR EVERYONE TO FORGET THAT
THEIR OLD SPOKESMAN IS A-- WELL, YOU KNOW.
[LAUGHTER] AND ACCORDING TO A NEW STUDY,
TALKING TO YOUR BEST FRIEND ONCE A DAY CAN APPARENTLY BOOST YOUR
WELL-BEING.
IT'S TRUE, HIGH-QUALITY CONVERSATIONS WITH A FRIEND CAN
IMPROVE YOUR HEALTH.
UNFORTUNATELY, STANLEY TUCCI AND I ARE SO BUSY, WE ARE LUCKY IF
WE CONNECT ONCE A WEEK AT THE MOMENT.
TALKING TO YOUR BEST FRIEND IS GREAT FOR YOUR HEALTH, BUT YOU
CAN GET MODERATE BENEFITS FROM GOSSIPING WITH A FRIEND.
WHAT IS THE KEY DO YOU THINK, IAN, TO HAVING A HIGH QUALITY
MEANINGFUL CONVERSATION?
Ian: YOU HAVE TO GET OUT OF THE SMALL TALK AS SOON AS
POSSIBLE AND GET INTO REAL STUFF.
James: RIGHT INTO IT?
Ian: I GOT INTO COMEDY MOSTLY BECAUSE I WAS A CHUBBY
CHILD AND LOOKING FOR ANY ACCEPTANCE WHEREVER I COULD GET
IT AND I KNEW IT WAS NOT GOING TO BE PHYSICAL FOR LIKE A LONG
TIME.
SO IF I CAN MAKE PEOPLE LAUGH AND THEY WOULD ACCEPT ME, I
COULD NOT BE MADE FUN OF HOW I WAS THE OTHER.
- James: AND FINALLY, A MAN IN
BOLIVIA TRIED TO ESCAPE PRISON IN A RATHER UNUSUAL WAY.
HE DISGUISED HIMSELF AS A SHEEP.
HE SUCCESSFULLY BROKE OUT OF PRISON, THEN PUT ON A SHEEP-SKIN
JACKET IN AN ATTEMPT TO BLEND IN AS HE CRAWLED THROUGH NEARBY
FIELDS.
HERE HE IS HERE.
BAAAAAAA'D IDEA.
ANYWAY, THAT'S THE PHOTO THERE.
KILLED BY A WOLF.
[LAUGHTER] WE WILL BE RIGHT BACK.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] NO, IT'S AN AMAZING PRISON-BREAK
STORY.
IN FACT, HOLLYWOOD IS ALREADY MAKING A MOVIE ABOUT IT.
"THE LAMB SHANK REDEMPTION."
AND THAT'S "THE NEWS"!
WE WILL BE RIGHT BACK, EVERY EVERYBODY!
♪ ♪ James: WELCOME BACK.
LET'S MEET OUR GUESTS TONIGHT!
HE'S THE CREATOR AND EXECUTIVE PRODUCER OF "POKER FACE."
RIAN JOHNSON!
Reggie: IT'S TRACK STAR RIAN JOHNSON ON THE SHOW!
♪ ♪ James: SHE IS THE STAR AND
EXECUTIVE PRODUCER OF "POKER FACE"
NATASHA LYONNE!
Reggie: IT IS NINE TIME GYMNAST NATASHA LYONNE!
AT "THE LATE LATE SHOW"!
♪ ♪ JOHNSON, LYONNE.
James: BLESS YOU FOR BEING HERE, TWO PEOPLE THAT I LOVE,
RESPECT, AND ADMIRE.
YOU MADE THIS INCREDIBLE SHOW TOGETHER, HOW LONG HAVE YOU
KNOWN EACH OTHER?
RIAN, WHAT WAS IT THAT MADE YOU WANT TO WORK WITH NATASHA IN THE
FIRST PLACE?
Rian: OH, MY GOSH, SHE ACTUALLY BECAME FRIENDS WITH MY
WIFE.
AND I BECAME FRIENDS JEALOUS, I TRIED TO ANGLE INTO BEING
FRIENDS WITH HER TOO.
AND WE BECAME FRIENDS AND WE LIKED EACH OTHER AND ALSO I HAD
THE IDEA FOR DOING KIND OF A COLOMBO-STYLE CASE OF THE WEEK
CRIME SHOW.
AND WHEN I SAW NATASHA'S WORK IN "RUSSIAN DOLL," I THOUGHT, YES.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] I THOUGHT, HERE IS SOMEBODY WHO
HAS THE CHARISMA TO HOLD A SHOW LIKE THIS.
James: AS FOR SURE.
Rian: AND WAS AN AWESOME PERSON TO HANG OUT WITH.
I GOT A FRIEND AND A SHOW AND IT ALL WORKED OUT.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] James: THAT IS BEAUTIFUL.
NATASHA, YOU SPEND YOUR TIME BETWEEN L.A. AND NEW YORK AND
YOU DESCRIBE YOUR HOME HERE IN L.A. AS HAVING "BIG DIVORCED-DAD
ENERGY."
WHICH I FEEL LIKE I KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS, BUT WHAT-- EXPLAIN
WHAT YOU MEAN BY THAT?
Natasha: I GUESS I HAVE A VISION OF A MIDDLE-AGED MAN
WHICH IS HOW I SEE MYSELF NOW.
[LAUGHTER] BUT NOT IN CRISIS.
AND THE HOUSE IS EMPTY, BECAUSE MY STUFF IS IN NEW YORK.
BUT THEN RIAN WAS KIND ENOUGH TO GET ME THE ONLY THING IN THE
HOUSE, BECAUSE I THINK HE ORDERED IT ONLINE, MAY BE.
IT'S A GIANT POSTER OF PETER FALL BUT.
BUT WHEN IT ARRIVED, IT'S MAYBE THE SIZE O THIS WALL.
James: HIM PLAYING COLOMBO.
Natasha: SO IT'S THE DIVORCED DAD WITH ONLY HOTS FOR
PETER FAULK.
James: THAT'S THE THING HIS EX-WIFE SAID YOU CAN TAKE THE
COLOMBO POSTER AND THAT'S IT.
Natasha: NN OUT OF TUNE PIANO A FRIEND WAS GIVING AWAY
AND A CHESS SET.
James: WHAT DO PEOPLE SAY WHEN THEY COME OVER, DO THEY SAY
ARE YOU OKAY?
Natasha: THEY SAY ARE YOU OKAY.
NSA TAKE A SWIM IN THE POOL, AND I HANG OUT WITH THE DOG AND RIAN
COMES OVER.
AND THINGS ARE GOING WELL.
[APPLAUSE] James: THINGS ARE GOING
VERY WELL FOR BOTH OF YOU.
RIAN, YOU HAVE DIRECTED MANY, MANY HITS.
AND WE HAVE A PHOTO OF YOU HERE DIRECTING FROM THE POOL.
NOW IS THIS-- IS THIS A NORMAL DAY ON A RIAN JOHNSON SET?
Rian: AM LOOKING LIKE "THE INVISIBLE."
IT IS SOOTHING ME.
I DID NOT NEED TO BE IN THE POOL.
THERE IS NO REASON I NEEDED TO BE IN THE POOL TO DIRECT THIS.
BUT THE REASON THAT I REALIZED & COULD DIRECT IN THE POOL, I GOT
SO EXCITED.
AND I WAS ASKING PERMISSION, CAN I DIRECT FROM THE POOL?
AND THEY WERE LIKE YEAH, DUDE, GO IN THE POOL.
WHEN I WAS IN THERE, I WAS HALF DIRECTING AND HALF JUST LOOKING
AROUND AND SAYING, I AM DIRECTING FROM A POOL!
[LAUGHTER] James: CAN WE LOOK FORWARD
TO IN THE NEXT MOVIE AFTER "GLASS ONION" THERE WILL JUST BE
A LOT OF SWIMMING POOLS EVERYWHERE.
Rian: THAT'S ALL IT WILL B BE.
Natasha: EXCITING, GREAT STUFF.
James: OBVIOUSLY A GREAT DIRECTOR, AND NATASHA, I AM
EXCITED FOR THIS DIRECTING SORT OF TURN THAT YOU ARE MAKING.
YOU DIRECTED "RUSSIAN DOLL," AND ONE OR TWO OF THE EPISODES OF
"POKER FACE," AND I AM IMAGINING THIS IS SOMETHING YOU WANT TO DO
IN YOUR LIFE, BUT PERHAPS YOU ARE ALWAYS DESTINED TO DO.
BECAUSE WE HAVE THIS PHOTO OF YOUNG NATASHA LYONNE DOING A
LIGHT READING WITH ALBERT, WHAT Natasha: FILM MAKING.
AND I DON'T WANT TO SEEM PATRONIZING AND EXPLAIN WHAT IT
IS DONE.
BUT YOU GET A TEDDY BEAR AND A LIGHT READER AND YOU TELL IT
WHERE TO STAND AND CALL OUT LENSES AND SO ON.
SO IT HAS BEEN GREAT.
IN FACT, NEXT WEEK'S EPISODE I GET TO DIRECT NICK MULTI.
YES, THE MORPHEUS SYNDROME.
NEXT ONLY ON PEACOCK.
James: SO LET'S TALK ABOUT IT!
THE SHOW HAS BEEN RENEWED FOR A SECOND SEASON!
AND FOR EVERYONE WHO WANTS TO KNOW, EXPLAIN WHAT THE SHOW WAS
ABOUT AND WHO YOU PLAY.
Natasha: WELL, IT IS IN ON THE ROAD PICTURE, AND I PLAY
CHARLIE KAIL, AND WELL, SHE HAS HAD TO SKIP TOWN UNDER SHADY
CIRCUMSTANCES, AND YEAH, SHE ENDS UP IN A BUNCH OF STICKY
SITUATIONS, LET'S SAY, AND WEEKE GUEST STARS WHO COME AND JOIN US
AND TAKE ALL OF THE EPISODES.
IS IT SOMETHING LIKE THAT?
Rian: IT'S A CASE OF THE WEEK STYLE MYSTERY.
James: RIAN, DO YOU WORRY THAT YOU COULD RUN OUT OF WAYS
TO CREATIVELY MURDER PEOPLE?
Rian: [LAUGHS] IN THIS TOWN?
NO.
James: LET'S LOOK AT A CLIP FROM "POKER FACE," NEW EPISODES
AIR THURSDAYS ON PEACOCK.
SORRY, I KNOW A THING OR TWO ABOUT THE TRUTH, SO I WILL TELL
YOU.
PATRICK SWAYZE WROTE "HOUSE" "SINGLE WHITE FEMALE" JASON
SLATER "TRUTH, TRUTH, TRUTH."
FOR YOU I CAUGHT SOME WORDS THROUGH THE RAIN STORM AND I
WILL TELL YOU THE TRUTH, IN FACT, I WOULD SAY THAT THAT'S
MAY BE BATCH OF-- I'VE HEARD IN MY ENTIRE LIFE.
I GET IT.
I WILL SEE MYSELF OUT.
I HAVE NOT BEEN SPOKEN THAT WAY IN 30 YEARS.
DOES THIS MEAN I AM NOT FIRED?
FIRED, MY GOD, WHAT YOU ARE GIVING ME HIS GOLD!
James: STICK AROUND!
MORE OF THESE TWO WHEN WE COME BACK.
James: WELCOME BACK!
WE'RE HERE WITH NATASHA LYONNE AND RIAN JOHNSON.
NOW, NATASHA, YOU STAR IN THE SHOWS "POKER FACE," THAT RIAN
CREATED.
IN THE SHOW NATASHA'S CHARACTER IS INCREDIBLE AT TELLING WHEN
SOMEONE IS LYING.
WE WANT TO FIND OUT HOW GOOD YOU BOTH ARE AT DOING THIS IN REAL
LIFE.
SO NOW IT'S TIME TO PLAY A GAME WE LIKE TO CALL "LATE LATE
LIARS."
♪ "LATE LATE LIARS" ♪ James: OKAY, SO IN THIS
GAME, THREE OF OUR WONDERFUL STAFFERS,
TOM, ISABELLE AND BURT, WILL TELL A STORY TO RIAN AND
NATASHA.
TWO OF THE STORIES ARE COMPLETELY MADE UP AND ONE IS
TELLING THE TRUTH.
IT IS YOUR JOB TO ASK QUESTIONS AND FIND OUT WHICH IS THE TRUE
STORY.
OUR STAFFER WILL TELL YOU A SENTENCE THAT BEST DESCRIBES THE
STORY AND YOU GUYS CAN ASK AS MANY FOLLOW UP QUESTIONS AS YOU
LIKE.
OKAY, READY FOR THOSE STORIES?
Natasha: YES, BUT I REALIZE I NEED GLASSES.
BURT, ISABEL, ANTON.
James: WE WILL HEAR FROM TOM, TELL US A STORY.
MY STORY IS THAT I BROKE MY LEG WHILE HAVING SEX.
Natasha: ALL RIGHTS.
James: SO HE BROKE HIS LEG WHILST HAVING SEX.
ONE TIME MY DOG BIT JAMES DELL FOG GHANA FEENEY.
SPEAK ON ONE TIME-- James: WHO HERE WOULD YOU
LIKE TO HEAR MORE FROM?
Rian: WHO DO YOU THINK, TOM.
LET'S GET TO, WE NEED MORE DETAILS, WAS THIS A FALL OUT OF
BED SITUATION?
THERE IS NOT A BED EVEN INVOLVED, I GREW UP IN A SMALL
TOWN AND INSTEAD OF HAVING HOUSE PARTIES WE WOULD HAVE FIELD
PARTIES WHERE YOU COULD HANG OU OUT.
Natasha: WHAT TOWN?
SALISBURY, NORTH CAROLINA.
YOU KNOW IT.
Natasha: ALL RIGHT, KEEP GOING.
SO WE WERE HAVING A PARTY AND ALL OF THE CARS WERE PARKED ON
THIS HILL IN A MEADOW AND AS WE WERE LEAVING MY GIRLFRIEND AND I
AT THE TIME SAID OUR GOODBYES AND THINGS STARTED GETTING HOT
AND HEAVY, AND WE WANTED A LITTLE COVER AND WE REALIZED AS
WE STARTED HOOKING UP THAT WE WOULD HIDE UNDER THIS HUGE TRUCK
PARKED THERE.
James: UNDER A TRUCK?
IT WAS UNDER A TRUCK.
IN A FIELD.
LIKE A STANDARD PICKUP, BUT JACKED UP.
Natasha: WHAT COLOR WAS IT, TOM?
WHAT COLOR WAS THE TRUCK, TOM?
IS PRETTY DARK OUT, AND MY MIND WAS KIND OF PREOCCUPIED AT
THE TIME.
I'M NOT SURE I WOULD KNOW AT THE MOMENT.
YES, SO I WOULD GUESS IT'S LIKE-- IT WAS VERY DARK AND
HARD TO SEE.
BUT IT WAS A JACKED UP TRUCK AND WE KIND OF STARTED TO MOVE
UNDERNEATH THE TRUCK AND THE NEXT THING I KNEW I HEARD THE
ENGINE REVVING UP AND WE TRIED TO MOVE, BUT THE TRUCK STARTED
ROLLING FORWARD AND WE WERE ON THE GROUND AND IT WAS TOO LATE.
Natasha: I AM SO SORRY, WHEN YOU SAY TOO LATE--
YOU MEAN THAT TO THE WHEEL, THE MONSTER WHEEL-- IT WENT OVER
YOUR LEG?
RAN OVER MY LEG, EXACTLY.
James: CAN I ASK, YOU WERE LYING DOWN?
YES.
[LAUGHTER] Rian: WE HAVE HEARD ENOUGH.
James: RIAN, NATASHA, ANYONE ELSE?
Natasha: WAS HE HAS GREAT AS HE SEEMS?
HE WAS GRACIOUS WHEN IT HAPPENED, BUT HE WAS REALLY NICE
WHEN HE REALIZED THERE WAS NO BLEEDING AND HE HAD NOT BROKEN
SKIN, THEN HE WAS REALLY NICE.
Natasha: SO WHERE ON GANDALF FEENEY.
ON HIS LEG.
THE LOWER PART OF HIS LEG NEAR HIS ANKLE.
Natasha: SO SORRY.
WHAT KIND OF DOG?
IT IS A CORGI NAMED BEAR.
James: ALL RIGHT, AND ANYTHING ABOUT THE HAM
HOSPITALIZATION?
Rian: YES, SO IT WAS A SHEER AMOUNT OF HAM?
WAIT, SO WHAT?
DID YOU CHOKE ON THE HAM?
WAS IT A CHOLESTEROL SITUATION?
Natasha: AND HOW DID IT EVER COME UP BEFORE?
NEVER CAME UP IN MY LIFE, MY FIRST TIME TRAVELING
INTERNATIONALLY WITH MY GIRLFRIEND, AND WE WENT TO SPAIN
AND WE TRIED-- I TRIED EVERY BIT OF HAM THAT I COULD, BECAUSE
EVERY RESTAURANT SAID THEY HAD THE BEST HAM, SO I HAD A PLATE
OF HAM, MY GIRLFRIEND IS A VEGETARIAN AND THOUGHT THAT I
WOULD EAT THE WHOLE THING, AND ROOM SERVICE SAID IT WAS THE
BEST, GOT A PLATE, AND COULD NOT SLEEP BECAUSE OF THE JET LAG SO
I ORDERED ANOTHER PLATE FROM ROOM SERVICE.
Natasha: NEW AMSTERDAM.
SO THE NEXT MORNING I WOKE UP NOT FEELING GREAT, WENT TO THE
MUSEUM, ENDED UP BASICALLY A FETAL POSITION IN THE MUSEUM AND
MY GIRLFRIEND COULD NOT FIND ME, AND CAME BACK AND SAW THAT I WAS
LAYING DOWN AND WE RUSHED TO THE HOSPITAL AND GOT-- THEY SAID
THAT I HAD GASTRO AND TONIGHT US AND TOOK A BUNCH OF TESTS AND I
HAD TO NOT EAT HAM FOR THE REST OF THE TRIP.
James: YOU FELT THE PAIN, AND THEN YOU THOUGHTS I HAVE TO
LIE DOWN.
I CANNOT CARRY ON.
THERE IS BASICALLY A WHOLE PIGS ASS CHEEK WORTH OF HAM.
James: WE HAVE HEARD FROM ALL THREE.
Natasha: I COULD DO THIS BY THE WAY ALL NIGHT.
James: YOU CAN DISCUSS BETWEEN YOURSELF.
Natasha: WE COULD TALK, BUT I THINK WE KNOW.
ANYONE WHO HAD SEX UNDER A TRUCK?
PROBABLY.
James: WHO DO YOU THINK IS TELLING THE TRUTH?
Rian: TO BE ABSOLUTELY FAIR, ISABELLE AND BERT, I WAS
NOT REALLY LISTENING TO YOUR STORIES, BECAUSE MY HEAD WAS
STILL OVER HERE.
BUT YOU SEEM VERY TRUSTWORTHY.
Natasha: THEY SEEM LIKE DECENT PEOPLE, BUT THE IDEAS
THAT WE PICK ONE.
Rian: LET'S GO WITH DEATH BY HAM.
Natasha: I FELT LIKE HE WAS ANGRY, WHICH MEANS HE WAS
EXASPERATED LIKE HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TALK ABOUT THIS HAM
SITUATION.
Rian: SO WE ARE SAYING THAT BERT IS TELLING THE TRUTH.
James: YOU ARE GOING FOR-- Rian: WE ARE SAYING THAT
BERT IS TELLING THE TRUTH.
James: BERT IS TELLING THE TRUTH AND TOM AND ISABELLE ARE
LYING, WILL THE PERSON WHO IS TELLING THE TRUTH PLEASE STEP
FORWARD.
[DRUMROLL] IT WAS DEATH BY HAM!
AND TO PROVE IT, WE HAVE PHOTOGRAPHIC EVIDENCE OF BERT'S
HAM OVERDOSE.
A LOOK AT RIGHT HERE.
Rian: YOU ARE LUCKY YOU ARE ALIVE.
James: THERE HE IS DICING WITH THE DEATH.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] James: THANK YOU!
THAT WAS "LATE LATE LIARS"!
WE WILL BE RIGHT BACK, EVERY EVERYBODY!
James: WELCOME BACK!
WE ARE HERE WITH NATASHA LYONNE AND RIAN JOHNSON, NOW RIAN, WE
HAVE TO CONGRATULATE YOU ON YOUR OSCAR NOMINATION FOR "BEST
ADAPTED SCREENPLAY" FOR "GLASS ONION."
YOU WENT TO THE OSCARS LUNCHEON.
AND WE HAVE A PHOTO, THERE YOU ARE.
TALK TO ME, WHAT WAS THAT DAY LIKE?
WHAT IS THAT LAUNCH LIKE?
Rian: IT IS AMAZING.
IT'S INCREDIBLE.
FOR ME IT'S JUST-- YOU KIND OF HAVE TO EMBRACE IT AS A BIG
WACKY EXPERIENCE.
MAYBE ONCE IN MY LIFE I WILL GET TO DO THIS.
SO THE LUNCH IS AMAZING, BECAUSE IT IS ALL THE NOMINEES.
SO FIRST OF ALL, THERE IS LIKE TOM CRUISE AND STEVEN SPIELBERG
AND ALL OF THESE FAMOUS PEOPLE, BUT THEN ALSO IT IS SOUND GUYS
THAT YOU HAVE WORKED WITH BEFORE AND VISUAL EFFECTS ARTIST THAT I
HAVE DONE STUFF WITH BEFORE.
IT'S EVERYBODY MINGLING TOGETHER.
AND IT FEELS LIKE MOVIE PROM.
IT'S REALLY, REALLY FUN.
James: IT IS SO GREAT AND WE SEND ALL OF OUR LUCK FOR THAT
AWARD.
THESE THINGS ARE ARBITRARY AND THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS BEST,
BUT WE ARE ALL ROOTING FOR YOU AT "THE LATE LATE SHOW" FOR
EVERYTHING!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] AND NOW NATASHA, I WANT TO TALK
TO YOU ABOUT THIS, YOU AND JENNIFER COOLIDGE WORKED
TOGETHER AND "AMERICAN PIE" IS IT TRUE THAT YOU PICTURE FOR THE
TWO OF YOU TO MAKE A SEQUEL?
IS THIS TRUE?
Natasha: THE THING IS IN THIS MOMENT AS YOU ARE SAYING
IT, WHY ISN'T IT TRUE?
I WOULD LOVE TO THELMA AND LOUISE WITH HER, I HEAR THAT SHE
WANTS TO PLAY A DOLPHIN, AND I DON'T KNOW IF I COULD GET IN ON
THAT AS SORT OF A 2-DOLPHIN PICTURE.
COULD THAT BE GORGEOUS IN A CAR?
TWO DOLPHIN'S, AND IT WOULD SAY "AMERICAN PIE TRIPLE X" OR
SOMETHING.
MEANING PART 30.
AND THAT WOULD BE FUN.
[LAUGHTER] YEAH, I MEAN, IN FAIRNESS IT IS
NOT WRITTEN YET.
BUT THAT'S WHY RIAN IS HERE.
James: FROM THE PITCH TO THE SCRIPT.
Natasha: HONESTLY, GREEN LIGHT.
YOU JUST SAY THE WORD GREEN LIGHT AND IT HAPPENS.
James: DOLPHINS IN A CAR.
IT'S A GREAT-- Natasha: THAT'S A GREAT
NAME.
James: REGGIE, DO YOU HAVE A QUESTION FOR OUR GUEST THIS
EVENING?
Reggie: YES, I DO.
TONIGHT'S QUESTION IS...& DO YOU THINK YOU WILL DO AN
EPISODE WHERE YOU FLASH FORWARD YOUR CHARACTER MAY BE 60 YEARS
INTO THE FUTURE AND YOU ARE HELPING TO SOLVE LIKE SOME SOME
KIND OF A CYBERNETICS RING OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
Natasha: INTERESTING.
I LOVE FUTURE, YOU KNOW THIS.
RIAN, IF YOU ARE A GAME, I WOULD SAY, WHY NOT AS A CRYO FLASH
FORWARD.
WHY NOT?
Rian: AS LONG AS WE CAN GET A DOLPHIN.
Natasha: WE JUST NEED A FEW MORE ELEMENTS AND WE'VE GOT IT.
I MEAN, IS THE CAR GOING TO BE A BEYOND WHEELS?
Rian: IT'S "BACK TO THE FUTURE 2" SITUATION
James: WE THINK IT IS ALL POSSIBILITY?
Natasha: SURE.
YOU WANT TO BE IN IT?
Reggie: YES, OF COURSE I WOULD DEFINITELY BE IN IT.
I WOULD BE LIKE "THAT'S NOT RIGHT."
SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
YES, THAT IS CORRECT.
James: IT IS ABSOLUTELY CORRECT!
PLEASE THANK NATASHA LYONNE AND RIAN JOHNSON!
STICK AROUND, DYLAN ADLER IS HERE WHEN WE COME BACK!
James: WELCOME BACK!
OUR NEXT GUEST IS A BRILLIANT STAND-UP COMEDIAN AND WE'RE SO
PROUD HE'S MAKING HIS LATE-NIGHT STAND-UP DEBUT HERE WITH US
TONIGHT.
YOU CAN SEE HIS OUTRAGEOUSLY FUNNY SOLO SHOW, "HIT THAT
TRACK" TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 27TH AT DYNASTY TYPEWRITER RIGHT HERE IN
L.A.
PLEASE WELCOME THE FANTASTIC DYLAN ADLER.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] ♪ ♪
Dylan: HI, HOW LOW HELLO!
OH, MY GOD, THANK YOU, GUYS.
I AM SO EXCITED TO BE HERE.
I'M JUST GOING TO TELL YOU A LITTLE BIT ABOUT MYSELF.
I AM GAY AND I HAVE AN IDENTICAL GAY TWIN BROTHER.
WHERE'S THE PILOT?
[LAUGHTER] ME AND MY TWIN, WE GREW UP WITH
ALL OF THE SAME BEST FRIENDS, OUR BEST FRIEND GROWING UP, HER
NAME WAS TOMMY.
WE BOTH HAD A CRUSH ON HER.
SHE HAD A CRUSH ON BOTH OF US, SO SHE HAD TO DECIDE, WHICH GAY
TWIN AM I GOING TO CHOOSE?
WE WALK INTO OUR FIFTH GRADE CLASS AND SHE WROTE A LIST OF
OUR TRAITS ON A WHITEBOARD UNDER THE TITLE "MY OPTIONS" FOR MY
TWIN SHE WROTE SWEET, CUTE, GREAT, SMART.
FOR ME SHE WROTE SWEET.
THAT WAS THE DAY I BECAME A EMO ASIAN.
I WAS LIKE "AM I MORE THAN YOU BARGAINED FOR YET ♪
♪ AND NOW I HATED ♪ [APPLAUSE]
I DOWNLOADED ALL OF "PARAMORE'S ALBUMS THAT NIGHT!
BUT MY BROTHER AND I WERE SIMILAR, WE WOULD GET LUMPED
TOGETHER A LOT, AND IT WAS SIDE-BY-SIDE TO CLASS AND A PALE
SENIOR CAME UP TO US AND SAID THIS LITERALLY WORD FOR WORD
"DID YOU KNOW THAT YOU BOTH LOOK LIKE EMPEROR WHO WROTE JAPAN
FROM 80 BC TO 100 BC?" AND WE WERE LIKE OH, MY GOD, WAS
HE HOT?
AND I LOOKED IT UP, HE WAS SO HOT.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] OKAY, HERE'S MY DREAM, I REALLY
WANT MY TWIN AND I TO PLAY IN LIKE A MUSICAL BIOTIC OF HIS
LIFE, YOU KNOW?
I SEE IT LIKE THERE WOULD BE A CURTAIN AND I WOULD COME OUT OF
IT AND IT WOULD BE LIKE THIS, COMING SOON TO A 24, IT IS
DOUBLE TROUBLE, AND I COME OUT, I'M ALSO EMPEROR AND WE ARE THE
SINGER WEARING EMPEROR TWINS, THAT WAS MY LINE.
RIGHT?
I SEE IT!
BUT ME AND MY BROTHER, WE WERE ACTUALLY THE VERY FIRST PEOPLE
THAT WE EVER CAME OUT TO SOPHOMORE YEAR OF HIGH SCHOOL,
HE CAME OUT TO ME AND SAID, DYLAN, I MIGHT BE ATTRACTED TO
GUYS.
AND I WAS LIKE, EW, DON'T SAY THAT AGAIN!
[LAUGHTER] BUT THEN IT WAS LIKE, SAME
PERIOD A YEAR LATER.
SO THEN WE CAME OUT TO OUR FAMILY AND WE CAME OUT TO HER
MOM, WHO IS IN THE AUDIENCE TONIGHT!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] YES!
WE CAME OUT TO HER, AND SHE WAS THRILLED.
SHE WAS LIKE HAVING TWO GAY TWIN SONS QUICKLY BECAME HER WHOLE
PERSONALITY.
LIKE ONE TIME SHE OPENED THE FRIDGE AND BEANS FELL OUT, AND
SHE WAS LIKE "THERE IS SO MUCH DRAMA AND MY LIFE."
[LAUGHTER] SHE WAS LIKE ASIAN JOAN RIVERS,
I SWEAR.
EXCEPT ONE TIME IN 2004, WE WERE ALL WATCHING "AMERICAN IDOL."
AND SHE WAS LIKE, CLAY AIKEN.
AND MORE LIKE GAY AIKEN.
OTHER THAN THAT, SHE IS AN ALLY!
NO ONE IS PERFECT.
IT WAS A DIFFERENT TIME, WE FORGIVE YOU.
BUT I HAVE TO ADDRESS IT AT THIS POINT.
I AM BIRACIAL, MY MOM IS JAPANESE, AND MY DAD IS JEWISH!
SOY-- THERE IS NOT A THIRD!
[LAUGHTER] BUT MY BROTHER AND I HAD TO COME
OUT TO OUR JAPANESE GRANDPARENTS, MY BROTHER HAD A
BOYFRIEND THAT WOULD COME TO VISIT, AND WHEN WE DID, THERE
WERE SURPRISINGLY VERY ACCEPTING, WHICH COMPLETELY
SHOCKED US, BECAUSE THEY GREW UP IN A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT
GENERATION.
MY GRANDPARENTS FAMILY HAD INTERMENT IN WORLD WAR II AT THE
SAME TIME, MY GRANDPA WAS IN JAPAN AND SIGNED UP TO BE A
KAMIKAZE PILOT, THE JAPANESE IMPERIAL ARMY, AND I DID NOT PUT
THAT IN MY COLLEGE ESSAY LIKE A DUMB BITCH.
I COULD'VE GONE TO HARVARD!
I COULD HAVE TITLED THAT "THE WAR IN ME!"
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I COULD HAVE SUBMITTED A SONG WITH MY APPLICATION.
♪ HAVE COLONIZER ♪ ♪ HAVE COLONIZED ♪
♪ HALF INTERNMENT ♪ ♪ HAVE ONE OF THE LIES ♪
♪ BUT I'M TRYING TO MAKE PEACE WITH THE JEWISH-AMERICAN PILOT
INSIDE OF ME ♪ [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
♪ THIS IS MY APPLICATION TO HARVARD ♪
THANK YOU SO MUCH!
James: OH, MY GOSH, THAT WAS AMAZING!
DYLAN ADLER, EVERYBODY!
CHECK OUT "HIT THAT TRACK" LIVE AT DYNASTY TYPEWRITER ON
TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 27TH.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
James: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR WATCHING.
TOMORROW NIALL HORAN AND ORLANDO BLOOM, PLUS "NEXT LEVEL CHEF'S,"
GORDON RAMSAY AND I ARE OPENING A BRAND-NEW RESTAURANT!
YOU DON'T WANT TO MISS TOMORROW NIGHT'S SHOW!
REGGIE, TAKE US HOME!