1 00:00:02,001 --> 00:00:07,741 ♪ WE PLAY SOME MUSIC NOW ♪ ♪ AND THE DRUMS ♪ 2 00:00:07,741 --> 00:00:11,411 ♪ A LITTLE BIT OF KEYBOARD TOO ♪ ♪ 3 00:00:11,411 --> 00:00:16,983 ♪ IT'S "THE LATE LATE SHOW!" ♪ Reggie: LADIES AND 4 00:00:16,983 --> 00:00:25,959 GENTLEMEN, ALL THE WAY FROM INSIDE, GIVE IT UP FOR YOUR 5 00:00:25,959 --> 00:00:30,697 HOST, THE ONE, THE ONLY JAMES CORDEN! 6 00:00:30,697 --> 00:00:34,734 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 7 00:00:51,050 --> 00:01:03,930 ♪ ♪ James: THANK YOU SO MUCH 8 00:01:03,930 --> 00:01:06,933 I HAVE TO TELL YOU, THIS MAN RIGHT HERE HAS GIVEN ME SO MUCH 9 00:01:06,933 --> 00:01:10,804 LIFE AND LOVE RIGHT NOW, WHAT IS YOUR NAME SERVER? 10 00:01:10,804 --> 00:01:16,276 DANNY APPEARED TO BE MADE MY DAY, THIS IS-- 11 00:01:16,276 --> 00:01:19,379 WE ARE SHOWING THIS. 12 00:01:19,379 --> 00:01:21,948 HANG ON, WHAT NUMBER SHOW IS THIS? 13 00:01:21,948 --> 00:01:24,951 Rob: 1,166. 14 00:01:24,951 --> 00:01:30,723 James: 1,166 TIMES I HAVE NEVER HAD SUCH A JOYOUS REACTION 15 00:01:30,723 --> 00:01:32,358 THEN I GOT FROM DANNY. 16 00:01:32,358 --> 00:01:36,830 DANNY WAS GOING OH, MY GOD, OH, MY GOD. 17 00:01:36,830 --> 00:01:40,033 YOU ARE ADORABLE! 18 00:01:40,033 --> 00:01:47,340 IT'S SO NICE TO MEET YOU! 19 00:01:47,340 --> 00:01:50,577 James: LET'S SEE WHO OUR GUESTS ARE ON THE SHOW TONIGHT! 20 00:01:50,577 --> 00:01:51,945 SHE'S A BRILLIANT EMMY-NOMINATED ACTOR, WRITER, DIRECTOR, 21 00:01:51,945 --> 00:01:53,079 PRODUCER AND CREATOR OF "RUSSIAN DOLL." 22 00:01:53,079 --> 00:01:56,983 SHE'S STARRING IN A NEW HIT SERIES CALLED "POKER FACE." 23 00:01:56,983 --> 00:02:02,155 THE DIVINE, THE GLORIOUS, NATASHA LYONNE! 24 00:02:02,155 --> 00:02:03,156 SHE IS HERE TONIGHT! 25 00:02:03,156 --> 00:02:05,792 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] THERE SHE IS, HOW ARE YOU? 26 00:02:05,792 --> 00:02:07,327 Natasha: I AM PRETTY GOOD. 27 00:02:07,327 --> 00:02:09,662 James: I HAVE BEEN FOLLOWING THE PRESS TOUR YOU 28 00:02:09,662 --> 00:02:11,931 HAVE BEEN ON, AND SOME OF THE LOOKS THAT NATASHA LYONNE HAS 29 00:02:11,931 --> 00:02:14,334 PULLED OUT OR MAY BE THE GREATEST OF ALL TIME. 30 00:02:14,334 --> 00:02:17,203 IS THAT THE PLAN? 31 00:02:17,203 --> 00:02:18,938 Natasha: THAT IS THE PLAN, I AM TRYING TO KEEP IT QUICK FOR 32 00:02:18,938 --> 00:02:20,240 THE KIDS. 33 00:02:20,240 --> 00:02:25,945 James: HOW FAR AN ADVANCE DID YOU THINK THAT'S WHAT I'M 34 00:02:25,945 --> 00:02:27,146 GOING TO WEAR ON "THE LATE LATE SHOW"? 35 00:02:27,146 --> 00:02:30,617 Natasha: IT WAS ABOUT SIX YEARS AGO I TAGGED IT AND I SAID 36 00:02:30,617 --> 00:02:35,321 I KNOW THIS TIME WILL COME, I DO EVERYTHING IN SIXES. 37 00:02:35,321 --> 00:02:36,956 SIX, SIX, SIX. 38 00:02:36,956 --> 00:02:38,491 AND IT WORKS OUT. 39 00:02:38,491 --> 00:02:42,562 James: WELL, THANK THE LORD FOR 6-6-6. 40 00:02:42,562 --> 00:02:47,333 BLESS YOU FOR BEING HERE, NATASHA LYONNE, AND THIS IS 41 00:02:47,333 --> 00:02:48,535 INCREDIBLY EXCITING. 42 00:02:48,535 --> 00:02:51,004 MULTIPLE ACADEMY AWARD-WINNING DIRECTOR YOU KNOW FROM "KNIVES 43 00:02:51,004 --> 00:02:52,605 OUT", "GLASS ONION", "LOOPER" AND SO MUCH MORE. 44 00:02:52,605 --> 00:02:57,977 THE OUTRAGEOUSLY TALENTED RIAN JOHNSON! 45 00:02:57,977 --> 00:03:00,079 IS ON THE SHOW TONIGHT! 46 00:03:00,079 --> 00:03:03,583 HOW ARE YOU? 47 00:03:03,583 --> 00:03:04,684 Rian: HELLO. 48 00:03:04,684 --> 00:03:08,688 James: I AM SO THRILLED YOU ARE HERE, ARE YOU WELL? 49 00:03:08,688 --> 00:03:10,123 Rian: I'M DOING SO, SO GOOD. 50 00:03:10,123 --> 00:03:14,060 James: I AM LOVING THIS LOOK, ARE YOU ALWAYS THIS TIED 51 00:03:14,060 --> 00:03:14,861 UP? 52 00:03:14,861 --> 00:03:16,763 Rian: I WAKE UP LIKE THIS, JAMES. 53 00:03:16,763 --> 00:03:19,566 James: I SPENT SOME TIME BEFORE THE SHOW AND I KNOW THIS 54 00:03:19,566 --> 00:03:24,404 IS WHAT EVERYBODY IS THINKING, HE SMELLS ABSOLUTELY DIVINE. 55 00:03:24,404 --> 00:03:29,108 BLESS YOU FOR BEING HERE, RIAN JOHNSON, EVERYBODY! 56 00:03:29,108 --> 00:03:31,344 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] AND THIS IS EXCITING, AND A 57 00:03:31,344 --> 00:03:33,479 TREMENDOUS STAND UP COMEDIAN. 58 00:03:33,479 --> 00:03:35,181 AND WE'RE THRILLED HE'S MAKING HIS LATE-NIGHT STAND-UP DEBUT 59 00:03:35,181 --> 00:03:36,649 HERE WITH US TONIGHT. 60 00:03:36,649 --> 00:03:37,884 WE LOVE HIM ON THIS SHOW. 61 00:03:37,884 --> 00:03:44,090 IT'S DYLAN ADLER! 62 00:03:44,090 --> 00:03:45,758 Dylan: HI! 63 00:03:45,758 --> 00:03:49,128 James: HI, DYLAN. 64 00:03:49,128 --> 00:03:54,467 Dylan: JAMES, IT'S ACTUALLY PRONOUNCED NATASHA LYONNE. 65 00:03:54,467 --> 00:03:58,538 James: ARE YOU CHECKING THAT SHE IS NOT COMING OUT? 66 00:03:58,538 --> 00:03:59,939 IS SHE COMING OUT? 67 00:03:59,939 --> 00:04:04,277 Dylan: SHE IS COMING OUT TO ME. 68 00:04:04,277 --> 00:04:04,877 Natasha: HI. 69 00:04:04,877 --> 00:04:07,280 Dylan: HI, OH, MY GOD. 70 00:04:07,280 --> 00:04:10,483 Natasha: MY HAIR IS STRAIGHT NOW. 71 00:04:10,483 --> 00:04:11,651 IS THIS THE WAKE? 72 00:04:11,651 --> 00:04:14,320 Dylan: IT IS AWAKE AND I AM A BIG FAN. 73 00:04:14,320 --> 00:04:16,356 I AM SORRY I DID THIS. 74 00:04:16,356 --> 00:04:21,928 James: IT IS TWO NATASHA LYONNES. 75 00:04:21,928 --> 00:04:24,297 DYLAN ADLER, EVERYBODY, AND THIS IS "THE LATE LATE SHOW"! 76 00:04:24,297 --> 00:04:29,936 ROLL THE TITLE! 77 00:04:29,936 --> 00:04:33,339 ♪ ♪ ♪ THE LATE LATE SHOW, OH, OH, 78 00:04:33,339 --> 00:04:42,782 THE LATE LATE SHOW, WOO! ♪ ♪ THE LATE LATE SHOW, OH, OH, 79 00:04:42,782 --> 00:04:47,954 THE LATE LATE SHOW OH-OH! ♪ ♪ IT'S THE LATE, LATE SHOW ♪ 80 00:04:47,954 --> 00:04:49,756 THANK YOU VERY, VERY MUCH FOR BEING HERE. 81 00:04:49,756 --> 00:04:51,391 ARE YOU WELL? 82 00:04:51,391 --> 00:04:55,695 ARE YOU ALL RIGHT, REG, WHAT ARE YOU LIGHTING UP WITH YOUR TORCH? 83 00:04:55,695 --> 00:04:59,098 Reggie: THE NEW KEYBOARDIST FORGOT HIS WALLET. 84 00:04:59,098 --> 00:05:00,867 James: YOU FORGOT YOUR WALLET? 85 00:05:00,867 --> 00:05:02,368 OH, YOU LOST IT. 86 00:05:02,368 --> 00:05:04,637 YOU LOST IT ON THE SET? 87 00:05:04,637 --> 00:05:06,005 MAY BE. 88 00:05:06,005 --> 00:05:09,609 James: WHEN DID YOU LAST SEE IT? 89 00:05:09,609 --> 00:05:12,178 MONDAY. 90 00:05:12,178 --> 00:05:13,513 [LAUGHTER] James: YOU LOST YOUR WALLET 91 00:05:13,513 --> 00:05:16,816 ON MONDAY? 92 00:05:16,816 --> 00:05:17,784 IT IS WEDNESDAY. 93 00:05:17,784 --> 00:05:18,818 YEAH. 94 00:05:18,818 --> 00:05:22,288 James: AND YOU ARE COMPLETELY CHILL ABOUT THIS? 95 00:05:22,288 --> 00:05:27,627 SPEAK-- NO ONE HAS STOLEN MONEY YET. 96 00:05:27,627 --> 00:05:33,900 James: AND YOU THOUGHT THE BEST TIME TO LOOK FOR WAS IN 97 00:05:33,900 --> 00:05:36,669 THAT TINY MOMENT-- YEAH. 98 00:05:36,669 --> 00:05:40,173 James: WHERE THE CREDITS RUN, REG, GET THE TORCH OUT. 99 00:05:40,173 --> 00:05:44,510 YOU NEVER KNOW, SOMETIMES IT'S AN INSPIRED LOOK. 100 00:05:44,510 --> 00:05:45,678 I SPEAK OF THE SECOND SEARCH. 101 00:05:45,678 --> 00:05:47,914 James: HAVE YOU DONE THAT THING WHERE YOU LOOK FOR YOUR 102 00:05:47,914 --> 00:05:52,385 PHONE AND YOU REALIZE IT'S IN YOUR HAND? 103 00:05:52,385 --> 00:05:53,352 YEAH. 104 00:05:53,352 --> 00:05:54,587 Reggie: ALL THE TIME. 105 00:05:54,587 --> 00:06:00,159 James: I HAVE DONE THAT-- BECAUSE THE FEAR, I THINK IT IS 106 00:06:00,159 --> 00:06:03,763 RARELY TALKED ABOUT, THE FEAR THAT STRIKES YOUR CORE WHEN YOU 107 00:06:03,763 --> 00:06:05,531 THINK YOU MAY HAVE LOST YOUR PHONE. 108 00:06:05,531 --> 00:06:10,570 YOU GO-- [LAUGHTER] 109 00:06:10,570 --> 00:06:13,206 LIKE I GO FROM THAT TO AN 11. 110 00:06:13,206 --> 00:06:16,309 I AT NO POINT TO GO, HANG ON, CALM DOWN. 111 00:06:16,309 --> 00:06:17,243 IT'S AROUND. 112 00:06:17,243 --> 00:06:18,311 IT'S LIKE I HAVE LOST MY PHONE. 113 00:06:18,311 --> 00:06:24,784 I HAVE LOST MY BELIEF! 114 00:06:24,784 --> 00:06:30,356 IT'S THAT TIME, IT'S TIME FOR "THE NEWS." 115 00:06:30,356 --> 00:06:31,524 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] THERE'S STILL CONFUSION ABOUT 116 00:06:31,524 --> 00:06:34,260 THE THREE UNIDENTIFIED OBJECTS THE UNITED STATES GOVERNMENT 117 00:06:34,260 --> 00:06:36,262 SHOT DOWN OVER THE WEEKEND. 118 00:06:36,262 --> 00:06:38,664 INTELLIGENCE OFFICIALS NOW SAY THEY DO NOT BELIEVE THE OBJECTS 119 00:06:38,664 --> 00:06:40,333 WERE FROM CHINA. 120 00:06:40,333 --> 00:06:49,709 OR POSED ANY KIND OF NATIONAL SECURITY THREAT. 121 00:06:49,709 --> 00:06:51,177 THIS IS A VERY EVASIVE WAY OF SAYING THEY TOOK OUT THREE BUD 122 00:06:51,177 --> 00:06:55,081 LIGHT BLIMPS. 123 00:06:55,081 --> 00:06:56,449 [LAUGHTER] THIS IS TRUE, THE GOVERNMENT 124 00:06:56,449 --> 00:07:04,891 SAID MANY OBJECTS IN THE SKIES COULD BE USED CAR LOT BALLOONS. 125 00:07:04,891 --> 00:07:07,326 WHICH EXPLAINS WHY THEY WERE SO TRICKY TO SHOOT DOWN. 126 00:07:07,326 --> 00:07:12,799 YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? 127 00:07:12,799 --> 00:07:17,170 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] YOU KNOW, I WENT TO MIME SCHOOL. 128 00:07:17,170 --> 00:07:19,105 AND IT'S NOW BEING REPORTED THAT U.S. AUTHORITIES TRACKED THE 129 00:07:19,105 --> 00:07:22,875 CHINESE SPY BALLOON FROM ITS LAUNCH AND WATCHED IT FOR A 130 00:07:22,875 --> 00:07:26,546 WHOLE WEEK BEFORE IT CROSSED INTO AMERICAN AIRSPACE. 131 00:07:26,546 --> 00:07:30,016 THEY JUST SAT BACK AND WATCHED THAT BALLOON FROM SECRET CAMERAS 132 00:07:30,016 --> 00:07:32,084 FOR A WEEK. 133 00:07:32,084 --> 00:07:36,689 PERVERTS. 134 00:07:36,689 --> 00:07:42,461 [LAUGHTER] THEY ARE PERVERTS. 135 00:07:42,461 --> 00:07:45,898 PEOPLE WERE WATCHING A BALLOON THAT WAS WATCHING PEOPLE. 136 00:07:45,898 --> 00:07:49,468 WHEN YOU SAY IT LIKE THAT, IT'S HARD NOT TO SOUND LIKE SOMEONE'S 137 00:07:49,468 --> 00:07:54,207 COUSIN WHO SMOKES WAY TOO MUCH WEED. 138 00:07:54,207 --> 00:07:56,509 [LAUGHTER] MOVING ON, FOR THE VERY FIRST 139 00:07:56,509 --> 00:07:59,812 TIME, STREAMING IS EXPECTED TO TOP TRADITIONAL TELEVISION LATER 140 00:07:59,812 --> 00:08:00,980 THIS YEAR. 141 00:08:00,980 --> 00:08:04,417 ANALYSTS EXPECT TRADITIONAL TELEVISION TO SOON ACCOUNT FOR 142 00:08:04,417 --> 00:08:06,219 LESS THAN HALF OF DAILY VIEWING. 143 00:08:06,219 --> 00:08:07,887 WHICH EXPLAINS OUR NETWORK'S NEW SLOGAN. 144 00:08:07,887 --> 00:08:16,696 "CBS. 145 00:08:16,696 --> 00:08:19,665 OH, [BLEEP]!" IT'S WEIRD TO LOOK BACK AND 146 00:08:19,665 --> 00:08:21,567 REMEMBER THAT NOT SO LONG AGO THERE WAS AN EXACT MINUTE OF THE 147 00:08:21,567 --> 00:08:23,336 WEEK WHERE YOU COULD WATCH YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW AND IF YOU 148 00:08:23,336 --> 00:08:24,737 MISSED IT YOU WERE OUT OF LUCK. 149 00:08:24,737 --> 00:08:31,510 THE NETWORKS WERE LIKE "OH, YOU'RE BUSY AT EXACTLY 8:30 ON A 150 00:08:31,510 --> 00:08:32,645 WEDNESDAY? 151 00:08:32,645 --> 00:08:41,988 NOT OUR PROBLEM, BITCH!" IAN, THE CAMERAS ARE ON, WE HAVE 152 00:08:41,988 --> 00:08:46,792 ARE ON NETWORK TELEVISION, WE HAVE A PLATFORM, HOW DO WE SAVE 153 00:08:46,792 --> 00:08:47,960 NETWORK TV? 154 00:08:47,960 --> 00:08:54,400 Ian: WE HAVE TO GO FULL NUDE, THERE'S NO WAY AROUND IT. 155 00:08:54,400 --> 00:09:10,416 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] [CROWD CHANTING "TAKE IT OFF"] 156 00:09:10,416 --> 00:09:13,920 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] James: THERE IS A LADY UP 157 00:09:13,920 --> 00:09:19,725 THERE WHO IS SO EXCITED AT THE PROSPECT OF EVEN GLANCING MY 158 00:09:19,725 --> 00:09:20,226 PENIS. 159 00:09:20,226 --> 00:09:22,361 IT IS EXTRAORDINARY. 160 00:09:22,361 --> 00:09:25,665 [LAUGHTER] I LIKE THIS IDEA, I LIKE THIS 161 00:09:25,665 --> 00:09:26,399 IDEA. 162 00:09:26,399 --> 00:09:29,335 I THINK A NUDE SHOW WOULD BE FUN. 163 00:09:29,335 --> 00:09:31,037 Ian: I WOULD LOVE TO DO IT. 164 00:09:31,037 --> 00:09:35,207 James: NOT IN A GROSS WAY, LIKE IT'S JUST THE AUDIENCE WE 165 00:09:35,207 --> 00:09:39,078 FIND A LOT OF NATURISTS. 166 00:09:39,078 --> 00:09:45,685 WE FIND ENOUGH TO DO THE WHOLE SHOW COMPLETELY NUDE. 167 00:09:45,685 --> 00:09:46,652 Ian: YEAH. 168 00:09:46,652 --> 00:09:51,991 James: WE WILL LOOK INTO THIS, A NUDE SHOW. 169 00:09:51,991 --> 00:09:53,793 IN OTHER NEWS, THE SANDWICH CHAIN SUBWAY HAS CONFIRMED THAT 170 00:09:53,793 --> 00:09:54,994 IT IS UP FOR SALE. 171 00:09:54,994 --> 00:09:56,662 EXPERTS SAY SUBWAY COULD BE VALUED AT MORE THAN TEN BILLION 172 00:09:56,662 --> 00:09:57,863 DOLLARS. 173 00:09:57,863 --> 00:09:58,898 THE SALE WILL COME WITH A MEDIUM DRINK AND A BAG OF SALT AND 174 00:09:58,898 --> 00:10:02,301 VINEGAR CHIPS. 175 00:10:02,301 --> 00:10:04,670 [LAUGHTER] THE CHAIN IS WORTH TEN BILLION 176 00:10:04,670 --> 00:10:06,372 DOLLARS. 177 00:10:06,372 --> 00:10:08,641 OR TO PUT THAT IN TERMS SUBWAY FANS WILL UNDERSTAND, TWO 178 00:10:08,641 --> 00:10:10,176 BILLION "FIVE-DOLLAR FOOTLONGS." 179 00:10:10,176 --> 00:10:12,311 SUBWAY HAS BEEN ON A REBOUND RECENTLY AND IS WELL-POSITIONED 180 00:10:12,311 --> 00:10:14,447 FOR A SALE. 181 00:10:14,447 --> 00:10:24,824 EXPERTS SAY IT'S ALL BECAUSE OF A REVAMPED MENU, RENOVATED 182 00:10:24,824 --> 00:10:26,559 STORES, AND ENOUGH TIME PASSING FOR EVERYONE TO FORGET THAT 183 00:10:26,559 --> 00:10:30,196 THEIR OLD SPOKESMAN IS A-- WELL, YOU KNOW. 184 00:10:30,196 --> 00:10:32,598 [LAUGHTER] AND ACCORDING TO A NEW STUDY, 185 00:10:32,598 --> 00:10:34,500 TALKING TO YOUR BEST FRIEND ONCE A DAY CAN APPARENTLY BOOST YOUR 186 00:10:34,500 --> 00:10:36,669 WELL-BEING. 187 00:10:36,669 --> 00:10:39,105 IT'S TRUE, HIGH-QUALITY CONVERSATIONS WITH A FRIEND CAN 188 00:10:39,105 --> 00:10:45,311 IMPROVE YOUR HEALTH. 189 00:10:45,311 --> 00:10:49,615 UNFORTUNATELY, STANLEY TUCCI AND I ARE SO BUSY, WE ARE LUCKY IF 190 00:10:49,615 --> 00:10:54,520 WE CONNECT ONCE A WEEK AT THE MOMENT. 191 00:10:54,520 --> 00:10:57,056 TALKING TO YOUR BEST FRIEND IS GREAT FOR YOUR HEALTH, BUT YOU 192 00:10:57,056 --> 00:11:02,261 CAN GET MODERATE BENEFITS FROM GOSSIPING WITH A FRIEND. 193 00:11:02,261 --> 00:11:08,501 WHAT IS THE KEY DO YOU THINK, IAN, TO HAVING A HIGH QUALITY 194 00:11:08,501 --> 00:11:09,969 MEANINGFUL CONVERSATION? 195 00:11:09,969 --> 00:11:12,772 Ian: YOU HAVE TO GET OUT OF THE SMALL TALK AS SOON AS 196 00:11:12,772 --> 00:11:14,974 POSSIBLE AND GET INTO REAL STUFF. 197 00:11:14,974 --> 00:11:16,308 James: RIGHT INTO IT? 198 00:11:16,308 --> 00:11:19,745 Ian: I GOT INTO COMEDY MOSTLY BECAUSE I WAS A CHUBBY 199 00:11:19,745 --> 00:11:21,647 CHILD AND LOOKING FOR ANY ACCEPTANCE WHEREVER I COULD GET 200 00:11:21,647 --> 00:11:24,517 IT AND I KNEW IT WAS NOT GOING TO BE PHYSICAL FOR LIKE A LONG 201 00:11:24,517 --> 00:11:25,684 TIME. 202 00:11:25,684 --> 00:11:30,556 SO IF I CAN MAKE PEOPLE LAUGH AND THEY WOULD ACCEPT ME, I 203 00:11:30,556 --> 00:11:34,894 COULD NOT BE MADE FUN OF HOW I WAS THE OTHER. 204 00:11:34,894 --> 00:11:38,831 - James: AND FINALLY, A MAN IN 205 00:11:38,831 --> 00:11:48,908 BOLIVIA TRIED TO ESCAPE PRISON IN A RATHER UNUSUAL WAY. 206 00:11:48,908 --> 00:11:50,109 HE DISGUISED HIMSELF AS A SHEEP. 207 00:11:50,109 --> 00:11:51,343 HE SUCCESSFULLY BROKE OUT OF PRISON, THEN PUT ON A SHEEP-SKIN 208 00:11:51,343 --> 00:11:52,711 JACKET IN AN ATTEMPT TO BLEND IN AS HE CRAWLED THROUGH NEARBY 209 00:11:52,711 --> 00:11:53,212 FIELDS. 210 00:11:53,212 --> 00:11:55,714 HERE HE IS HERE. 211 00:11:55,714 --> 00:11:59,385 BAAAAAAA'D IDEA. 212 00:11:59,385 --> 00:12:02,755 ANYWAY, THAT'S THE PHOTO THERE. 213 00:12:02,755 --> 00:12:07,693 KILLED BY A WOLF. 214 00:12:07,693 --> 00:12:12,298 [LAUGHTER] WE WILL BE RIGHT BACK. 215 00:12:12,298 --> 00:12:16,168 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] NO, IT'S AN AMAZING PRISON-BREAK 216 00:12:16,168 --> 00:12:17,269 STORY. 217 00:12:17,269 --> 00:12:18,537 IN FACT, HOLLYWOOD IS ALREADY MAKING A MOVIE ABOUT IT. 218 00:12:18,537 --> 00:12:24,710 "THE LAMB SHANK REDEMPTION." 219 00:12:24,710 --> 00:12:25,544 AND THAT'S "THE NEWS"! 220 00:12:25,544 --> 00:12:27,613 WE WILL BE RIGHT BACK, EVERY EVERYBODY! 221 00:12:43,028 --> 00:12:44,663 ♪ ♪ James: WELCOME BACK. 222 00:12:44,663 --> 00:12:44,997 LET'S MEET OUR GUESTS TONIGHT! 223 00:12:45,898 --> 00:12:48,968 HE'S THE CREATOR AND EXECUTIVE PRODUCER OF "POKER FACE." 224 00:12:48,968 --> 00:12:53,439 RIAN JOHNSON! 225 00:12:53,439 --> 00:12:59,145 Reggie: IT'S TRACK STAR RIAN JOHNSON ON THE SHOW! 226 00:12:59,145 --> 00:13:05,885 ♪ ♪ James: SHE IS THE STAR AND 227 00:13:05,885 --> 00:13:06,685 EXECUTIVE PRODUCER OF "POKER FACE" 228 00:13:06,685 --> 00:13:11,190 NATASHA LYONNE! 229 00:13:11,190 --> 00:13:19,265 Reggie: IT IS NINE TIME GYMNAST NATASHA LYONNE! 230 00:13:19,265 --> 00:13:19,832 AT "THE LATE LATE SHOW"! 231 00:13:19,832 --> 00:13:26,038 ♪ ♪ JOHNSON, LYONNE. 232 00:13:26,038 --> 00:13:30,643 James: BLESS YOU FOR BEING HERE, TWO PEOPLE THAT I LOVE, 233 00:13:30,643 --> 00:13:31,810 RESPECT, AND ADMIRE. 234 00:13:31,810 --> 00:13:33,846 YOU MADE THIS INCREDIBLE SHOW TOGETHER, HOW LONG HAVE YOU 235 00:13:33,846 --> 00:13:36,682 KNOWN EACH OTHER? 236 00:13:36,682 --> 00:13:41,153 RIAN, WHAT WAS IT THAT MADE YOU WANT TO WORK WITH NATASHA IN THE 237 00:13:41,153 --> 00:13:42,321 FIRST PLACE? 238 00:13:42,321 --> 00:13:48,127 Rian: OH, MY GOSH, SHE ACTUALLY BECAME FRIENDS WITH MY 239 00:13:48,127 --> 00:13:49,495 WIFE. 240 00:13:49,495 --> 00:13:52,298 AND I BECAME FRIENDS JEALOUS, I TRIED TO ANGLE INTO BEING 241 00:13:52,298 --> 00:13:53,499 FRIENDS WITH HER TOO. 242 00:13:53,499 --> 00:13:55,968 AND WE BECAME FRIENDS AND WE LIKED EACH OTHER AND ALSO I HAD 243 00:13:55,968 --> 00:14:02,241 THE IDEA FOR DOING KIND OF A COLOMBO-STYLE CASE OF THE WEEK 244 00:14:02,241 --> 00:14:03,509 CRIME SHOW. 245 00:14:03,509 --> 00:14:09,915 AND WHEN I SAW NATASHA'S WORK IN "RUSSIAN DOLL," I THOUGHT, YES. 246 00:14:09,915 --> 00:14:14,887 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] I THOUGHT, HERE IS SOMEBODY WHO 247 00:14:14,887 --> 00:14:21,060 HAS THE CHARISMA TO HOLD A SHOW LIKE THIS. 248 00:14:21,060 --> 00:14:22,127 James: AS FOR SURE. 249 00:14:22,127 --> 00:14:24,263 Rian: AND WAS AN AWESOME PERSON TO HANG OUT WITH. 250 00:14:24,263 --> 00:14:27,666 I GOT A FRIEND AND A SHOW AND IT ALL WORKED OUT. 251 00:14:27,666 --> 00:14:29,668 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] James: THAT IS BEAUTIFUL. 252 00:14:29,668 --> 00:14:33,572 NATASHA, YOU SPEND YOUR TIME BETWEEN L.A. AND NEW YORK AND 253 00:14:33,572 --> 00:14:40,479 YOU DESCRIBE YOUR HOME HERE IN L.A. AS HAVING "BIG DIVORCED-DAD 254 00:14:40,479 --> 00:14:41,714 ENERGY." 255 00:14:41,714 --> 00:14:45,918 WHICH I FEEL LIKE I KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS, BUT WHAT-- EXPLAIN 256 00:14:45,918 --> 00:14:47,219 WHAT YOU MEAN BY THAT? 257 00:14:47,219 --> 00:14:50,456 Natasha: I GUESS I HAVE A VISION OF A MIDDLE-AGED MAN 258 00:14:50,456 --> 00:14:52,992 WHICH IS HOW I SEE MYSELF NOW. 259 00:14:52,992 --> 00:14:55,394 [LAUGHTER] BUT NOT IN CRISIS. 260 00:14:55,394 --> 00:15:01,000 AND THE HOUSE IS EMPTY, BECAUSE MY STUFF IS IN NEW YORK. 261 00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:06,071 BUT THEN RIAN WAS KIND ENOUGH TO GET ME THE ONLY THING IN THE 262 00:15:06,071 --> 00:15:09,842 HOUSE, BECAUSE I THINK HE ORDERED IT ONLINE, MAY BE. 263 00:15:09,842 --> 00:15:12,278 IT'S A GIANT POSTER OF PETER FALL BUT. 264 00:15:12,278 --> 00:15:19,051 BUT WHEN IT ARRIVED, IT'S MAYBE THE SIZE O THIS WALL. 265 00:15:19,051 --> 00:15:20,886 James: HIM PLAYING COLOMBO. 266 00:15:20,886 --> 00:15:25,958 Natasha: SO IT'S THE DIVORCED DAD WITH ONLY HOTS FOR 267 00:15:25,958 --> 00:15:27,926 PETER FAULK. 268 00:15:27,926 --> 00:15:30,929 James: THAT'S THE THING HIS EX-WIFE SAID YOU CAN TAKE THE 269 00:15:30,929 --> 00:15:32,398 COLOMBO POSTER AND THAT'S IT. 270 00:15:32,398 --> 00:15:38,470 Natasha: NN OUT OF TUNE PIANO A FRIEND WAS GIVING AWAY 271 00:15:38,470 --> 00:15:39,672 AND A CHESS SET. 272 00:15:39,672 --> 00:15:43,609 James: WHAT DO PEOPLE SAY WHEN THEY COME OVER, DO THEY SAY 273 00:15:43,609 --> 00:15:44,443 ARE YOU OKAY? 274 00:15:44,443 --> 00:15:47,246 Natasha: THEY SAY ARE YOU OKAY. 275 00:15:47,246 --> 00:15:53,686 NSA TAKE A SWIM IN THE POOL, AND I HANG OUT WITH THE DOG AND RIAN 276 00:15:53,686 --> 00:15:54,787 COMES OVER. 277 00:15:54,787 --> 00:15:56,121 AND THINGS ARE GOING WELL. 278 00:15:56,121 --> 00:15:57,656 [APPLAUSE] James: THINGS ARE GOING 279 00:15:57,656 --> 00:16:01,060 VERY WELL FOR BOTH OF YOU. 280 00:16:01,060 --> 00:16:02,728 RIAN, YOU HAVE DIRECTED MANY, MANY HITS. 281 00:16:02,728 --> 00:16:06,198 AND WE HAVE A PHOTO OF YOU HERE DIRECTING FROM THE POOL. 282 00:16:06,198 --> 00:16:13,472 NOW IS THIS-- IS THIS A NORMAL DAY ON A RIAN JOHNSON SET? 283 00:16:13,472 --> 00:16:18,210 Rian: AM LOOKING LIKE "THE INVISIBLE." 284 00:16:18,210 --> 00:16:18,977 IT IS SOOTHING ME. 285 00:16:18,977 --> 00:16:20,713 I DID NOT NEED TO BE IN THE POOL. 286 00:16:20,713 --> 00:16:23,649 THERE IS NO REASON I NEEDED TO BE IN THE POOL TO DIRECT THIS. 287 00:16:23,649 --> 00:16:28,053 BUT THE REASON THAT I REALIZED & COULD DIRECT IN THE POOL, I GOT 288 00:16:28,053 --> 00:16:29,254 SO EXCITED. 289 00:16:29,254 --> 00:16:32,624 AND I WAS ASKING PERMISSION, CAN I DIRECT FROM THE POOL? 290 00:16:32,624 --> 00:16:35,461 AND THEY WERE LIKE YEAH, DUDE, GO IN THE POOL. 291 00:16:35,461 --> 00:16:39,898 WHEN I WAS IN THERE, I WAS HALF DIRECTING AND HALF JUST LOOKING 292 00:16:39,898 --> 00:16:43,502 AROUND AND SAYING, I AM DIRECTING FROM A POOL! 293 00:16:43,502 --> 00:16:44,737 [LAUGHTER] James: CAN WE LOOK FORWARD 294 00:16:44,737 --> 00:16:50,976 TO IN THE NEXT MOVIE AFTER "GLASS ONION" THERE WILL JUST BE 295 00:16:50,976 --> 00:16:52,378 A LOT OF SWIMMING POOLS EVERYWHERE. 296 00:16:52,378 --> 00:16:55,114 Rian: THAT'S ALL IT WILL B BE. 297 00:16:55,114 --> 00:16:59,218 Natasha: EXCITING, GREAT STUFF. 298 00:16:59,218 --> 00:17:02,721 James: OBVIOUSLY A GREAT DIRECTOR, AND NATASHA, I AM 299 00:17:02,721 --> 00:17:07,693 EXCITED FOR THIS DIRECTING SORT OF TURN THAT YOU ARE MAKING. 300 00:17:07,693 --> 00:17:12,297 YOU DIRECTED "RUSSIAN DOLL," AND ONE OR TWO OF THE EPISODES OF 301 00:17:12,297 --> 00:17:14,266 "POKER FACE," AND I AM IMAGINING THIS IS SOMETHING YOU WANT TO DO 302 00:17:14,266 --> 00:17:18,070 IN YOUR LIFE, BUT PERHAPS YOU ARE ALWAYS DESTINED TO DO. 303 00:17:18,070 --> 00:17:24,109 BECAUSE WE HAVE THIS PHOTO OF YOUNG NATASHA LYONNE DOING A 304 00:17:24,109 --> 00:17:30,883 LIGHT READING WITH ALBERT, WHAT Natasha: FILM MAKING. 305 00:17:30,883 --> 00:17:33,218 AND I DON'T WANT TO SEEM PATRONIZING AND EXPLAIN WHAT IT 306 00:17:33,218 --> 00:17:34,386 IS DONE. 307 00:17:34,386 --> 00:17:37,956 BUT YOU GET A TEDDY BEAR AND A LIGHT READER AND YOU TELL IT 308 00:17:37,956 --> 00:17:41,326 WHERE TO STAND AND CALL OUT LENSES AND SO ON. 309 00:17:41,326 --> 00:17:43,295 SO IT HAS BEEN GREAT. 310 00:17:43,295 --> 00:17:48,834 IN FACT, NEXT WEEK'S EPISODE I GET TO DIRECT NICK MULTI. 311 00:17:48,834 --> 00:17:53,405 YES, THE MORPHEUS SYNDROME. 312 00:17:53,405 --> 00:17:57,176 NEXT ONLY ON PEACOCK. 313 00:17:57,176 --> 00:17:58,677 James: SO LET'S TALK ABOUT IT! 314 00:17:58,677 --> 00:18:02,748 THE SHOW HAS BEEN RENEWED FOR A SECOND SEASON! 315 00:18:02,748 --> 00:18:05,250 AND FOR EVERYONE WHO WANTS TO KNOW, EXPLAIN WHAT THE SHOW WAS 316 00:18:05,250 --> 00:18:08,120 ABOUT AND WHO YOU PLAY. 317 00:18:08,120 --> 00:18:13,158 Natasha: WELL, IT IS IN ON THE ROAD PICTURE, AND I PLAY 318 00:18:13,158 --> 00:18:19,131 CHARLIE KAIL, AND WELL, SHE HAS HAD TO SKIP TOWN UNDER SHADY 319 00:18:19,131 --> 00:18:24,503 CIRCUMSTANCES, AND YEAH, SHE ENDS UP IN A BUNCH OF STICKY 320 00:18:24,503 --> 00:18:29,675 SITUATIONS, LET'S SAY, AND WEEKE GUEST STARS WHO COME AND JOIN US 321 00:18:29,675 --> 00:18:31,477 AND TAKE ALL OF THE EPISODES. 322 00:18:31,477 --> 00:18:33,946 IS IT SOMETHING LIKE THAT? 323 00:18:33,946 --> 00:18:38,517 Rian: IT'S A CASE OF THE WEEK STYLE MYSTERY. 324 00:18:38,517 --> 00:18:42,154 James: RIAN, DO YOU WORRY THAT YOU COULD RUN OUT OF WAYS 325 00:18:42,154 --> 00:18:46,592 TO CREATIVELY MURDER PEOPLE? 326 00:18:46,592 --> 00:18:49,261 Rian: [LAUGHS] IN THIS TOWN? 327 00:18:49,261 --> 00:18:50,496 NO. 328 00:18:50,496 --> 00:18:53,999 James: LET'S LOOK AT A CLIP FROM "POKER FACE," NEW EPISODES 329 00:18:53,999 --> 00:18:55,267 AIR THURSDAYS ON PEACOCK. 330 00:18:55,267 --> 00:18:59,071 SORRY, I KNOW A THING OR TWO ABOUT THE TRUTH, SO I WILL TELL 331 00:18:59,071 --> 00:19:00,239 YOU. 332 00:19:00,239 --> 00:19:05,878 PATRICK SWAYZE WROTE "HOUSE" "SINGLE WHITE FEMALE" JASON 333 00:19:05,878 --> 00:19:08,213 SLATER "TRUTH, TRUTH, TRUTH." 334 00:19:08,213 --> 00:19:13,886 FOR YOU I CAUGHT SOME WORDS THROUGH THE RAIN STORM AND I 335 00:19:13,886 --> 00:19:18,190 WILL TELL YOU THE TRUTH, IN FACT, I WOULD SAY THAT THAT'S 336 00:19:18,190 --> 00:19:24,930 MAY BE BATCH OF-- I'VE HEARD IN MY ENTIRE LIFE. 337 00:19:24,930 --> 00:19:25,464 I GET IT. 338 00:19:25,464 --> 00:19:28,667 I WILL SEE MYSELF OUT. 339 00:19:28,667 --> 00:19:34,673 I HAVE NOT BEEN SPOKEN THAT WAY IN 30 YEARS. 340 00:19:34,673 --> 00:19:37,342 DOES THIS MEAN I AM NOT FIRED? 341 00:19:37,342 --> 00:19:41,713 FIRED, MY GOD, WHAT YOU ARE GIVING ME HIS GOLD! 342 00:19:41,713 --> 00:19:43,382 James: STICK AROUND! 343 00:19:43,382 --> 00:19:45,450 MORE OF THESE TWO WHEN WE COME BACK. 344 00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:03,468 James: WELCOME BACK! 345 00:20:03,468 --> 00:20:04,736 WE'RE HERE WITH NATASHA LYONNE AND RIAN JOHNSON. 346 00:20:04,736 --> 00:20:11,176 NOW, NATASHA, YOU STAR IN THE SHOWS "POKER FACE," THAT RIAN 347 00:20:11,176 --> 00:20:12,411 CREATED. 348 00:20:12,411 --> 00:20:13,412 IN THE SHOW NATASHA'S CHARACTER IS INCREDIBLE AT TELLING WHEN 349 00:20:13,412 --> 00:20:18,750 SOMEONE IS LYING. 350 00:20:18,750 --> 00:20:20,485 WE WANT TO FIND OUT HOW GOOD YOU BOTH ARE AT DOING THIS IN REAL 351 00:20:20,485 --> 00:20:21,653 LIFE. 352 00:20:21,653 --> 00:20:21,954 SO NOW IT'S TIME TO PLAY A GAME WE LIKE TO CALL "LATE LATE 353 00:20:21,954 --> 00:20:23,989 LIARS." 354 00:20:23,989 --> 00:20:31,763 ♪ "LATE LATE LIARS" ♪ James: OKAY, SO IN THIS 355 00:20:31,763 --> 00:20:35,734 GAME, THREE OF OUR WONDERFUL STAFFERS, 356 00:20:35,734 --> 00:20:38,403 TOM, ISABELLE AND BURT, WILL TELL A STORY TO RIAN AND 357 00:20:38,403 --> 00:20:39,905 NATASHA. 358 00:20:39,905 --> 00:20:46,912 TWO OF THE STORIES ARE COMPLETELY MADE UP AND ONE IS 359 00:20:46,912 --> 00:20:48,146 TELLING THE TRUTH. 360 00:20:48,146 --> 00:20:52,551 IT IS YOUR JOB TO ASK QUESTIONS AND FIND OUT WHICH IS THE TRUE 361 00:20:52,551 --> 00:20:54,019 STORY. 362 00:20:54,019 --> 00:20:55,454 OUR STAFFER WILL TELL YOU A SENTENCE THAT BEST DESCRIBES THE 363 00:20:55,454 --> 00:20:57,255 STORY AND YOU GUYS CAN ASK AS MANY FOLLOW UP QUESTIONS AS YOU 364 00:20:57,255 --> 00:20:57,990 LIKE. 365 00:20:57,990 --> 00:21:02,227 OKAY, READY FOR THOSE STORIES? 366 00:21:02,227 --> 00:21:10,569 Natasha: YES, BUT I REALIZE I NEED GLASSES. 367 00:21:10,569 --> 00:21:11,603 BURT, ISABEL, ANTON. 368 00:21:11,603 --> 00:21:15,907 James: WE WILL HEAR FROM TOM, TELL US A STORY. 369 00:21:15,907 --> 00:21:23,548 MY STORY IS THAT I BROKE MY LEG WHILE HAVING SEX. 370 00:21:23,548 --> 00:21:24,750 Natasha: ALL RIGHTS. 371 00:21:24,750 --> 00:21:28,954 James: SO HE BROKE HIS LEG WHILST HAVING SEX. 372 00:21:28,954 --> 00:21:36,795 ONE TIME MY DOG BIT JAMES DELL FOG GHANA FEENEY. 373 00:21:36,795 --> 00:21:41,800 SPEAK ON ONE TIME-- James: WHO HERE WOULD YOU 374 00:21:41,800 --> 00:21:44,169 LIKE TO HEAR MORE FROM? 375 00:21:44,169 --> 00:21:48,507 Rian: WHO DO YOU THINK, TOM. 376 00:21:48,507 --> 00:21:52,944 LET'S GET TO, WE NEED MORE DETAILS, WAS THIS A FALL OUT OF 377 00:21:52,944 --> 00:21:55,447 BED SITUATION? 378 00:21:55,447 --> 00:21:59,151 THERE IS NOT A BED EVEN INVOLVED, I GREW UP IN A SMALL 379 00:21:59,151 --> 00:22:01,853 TOWN AND INSTEAD OF HAVING HOUSE PARTIES WE WOULD HAVE FIELD 380 00:22:01,853 --> 00:22:05,290 PARTIES WHERE YOU COULD HANG OU OUT. 381 00:22:05,290 --> 00:22:06,725 Natasha: WHAT TOWN? 382 00:22:06,725 --> 00:22:07,426 SALISBURY, NORTH CAROLINA. 383 00:22:07,426 --> 00:22:10,495 YOU KNOW IT. 384 00:22:10,495 --> 00:22:11,763 Natasha: ALL RIGHT, KEEP GOING. 385 00:22:11,763 --> 00:22:15,500 SO WE WERE HAVING A PARTY AND ALL OF THE CARS WERE PARKED ON 386 00:22:15,500 --> 00:22:17,869 THIS HILL IN A MEADOW AND AS WE WERE LEAVING MY GIRLFRIEND AND I 387 00:22:17,869 --> 00:22:23,675 AT THE TIME SAID OUR GOODBYES AND THINGS STARTED GETTING HOT 388 00:22:23,675 --> 00:22:28,213 AND HEAVY, AND WE WANTED A LITTLE COVER AND WE REALIZED AS 389 00:22:28,213 --> 00:22:33,552 WE STARTED HOOKING UP THAT WE WOULD HIDE UNDER THIS HUGE TRUCK 390 00:22:33,552 --> 00:22:34,820 PARKED THERE. 391 00:22:34,820 --> 00:22:35,387 James: UNDER A TRUCK? 392 00:22:35,387 --> 00:22:39,691 IT WAS UNDER A TRUCK. 393 00:22:39,691 --> 00:22:41,693 IN A FIELD. 394 00:22:41,693 --> 00:22:43,595 LIKE A STANDARD PICKUP, BUT JACKED UP. 395 00:22:43,595 --> 00:22:47,733 Natasha: WHAT COLOR WAS IT, TOM? 396 00:22:47,733 --> 00:22:53,138 WHAT COLOR WAS THE TRUCK, TOM? 397 00:22:53,138 --> 00:22:57,008 IS PRETTY DARK OUT, AND MY MIND WAS KIND OF PREOCCUPIED AT 398 00:22:57,008 --> 00:22:57,876 THE TIME. 399 00:22:57,876 --> 00:23:00,946 I'M NOT SURE I WOULD KNOW AT THE MOMENT. 400 00:23:00,946 --> 00:23:03,915 YES, SO I WOULD GUESS IT'S LIKE-- IT WAS VERY DARK AND 401 00:23:03,915 --> 00:23:05,083 HARD TO SEE. 402 00:23:05,083 --> 00:23:08,987 BUT IT WAS A JACKED UP TRUCK AND WE KIND OF STARTED TO MOVE 403 00:23:08,987 --> 00:23:11,990 UNDERNEATH THE TRUCK AND THE NEXT THING I KNEW I HEARD THE 404 00:23:11,990 --> 00:23:16,128 ENGINE REVVING UP AND WE TRIED TO MOVE, BUT THE TRUCK STARTED 405 00:23:16,128 --> 00:23:18,897 ROLLING FORWARD AND WE WERE ON THE GROUND AND IT WAS TOO LATE. 406 00:23:18,897 --> 00:23:23,135 Natasha: I AM SO SORRY, WHEN YOU SAY TOO LATE-- 407 00:23:23,135 --> 00:23:28,173 YOU MEAN THAT TO THE WHEEL, THE MONSTER WHEEL-- IT WENT OVER 408 00:23:28,173 --> 00:23:28,807 YOUR LEG? 409 00:23:28,807 --> 00:23:31,910 RAN OVER MY LEG, EXACTLY. 410 00:23:31,910 --> 00:23:34,513 James: CAN I ASK, YOU WERE LYING DOWN? 411 00:23:34,513 --> 00:23:39,451 YES. 412 00:23:39,451 --> 00:23:47,492 [LAUGHTER] Rian: WE HAVE HEARD ENOUGH. 413 00:23:47,492 --> 00:23:52,030 James: RIAN, NATASHA, ANYONE ELSE? 414 00:23:52,030 --> 00:23:56,301 Natasha: WAS HE HAS GREAT AS HE SEEMS? 415 00:23:56,301 --> 00:24:00,372 HE WAS GRACIOUS WHEN IT HAPPENED, BUT HE WAS REALLY NICE 416 00:24:00,372 --> 00:24:04,176 WHEN HE REALIZED THERE WAS NO BLEEDING AND HE HAD NOT BROKEN 417 00:24:04,176 --> 00:24:05,744 SKIN, THEN HE WAS REALLY NICE. 418 00:24:05,744 --> 00:24:09,481 Natasha: SO WHERE ON GANDALF FEENEY. 419 00:24:09,481 --> 00:24:14,686 ON HIS LEG. 420 00:24:14,686 --> 00:24:20,058 THE LOWER PART OF HIS LEG NEAR HIS ANKLE. 421 00:24:20,058 --> 00:24:28,667 Natasha: SO SORRY. 422 00:24:28,667 --> 00:24:29,301 WHAT KIND OF DOG? 423 00:24:29,301 --> 00:24:33,572 IT IS A CORGI NAMED BEAR. 424 00:24:33,572 --> 00:24:39,311 James: ALL RIGHT, AND ANYTHING ABOUT THE HAM 425 00:24:39,311 --> 00:24:40,278 HOSPITALIZATION? 426 00:24:40,278 --> 00:24:44,182 Rian: YES, SO IT WAS A SHEER AMOUNT OF HAM? 427 00:24:44,182 --> 00:24:47,586 WAIT, SO WHAT? 428 00:24:47,586 --> 00:24:50,288 DID YOU CHOKE ON THE HAM? 429 00:24:50,288 --> 00:24:53,558 WAS IT A CHOLESTEROL SITUATION? 430 00:24:53,558 --> 00:24:56,895 Natasha: AND HOW DID IT EVER COME UP BEFORE? 431 00:24:56,895 --> 00:25:00,966 NEVER CAME UP IN MY LIFE, MY FIRST TIME TRAVELING 432 00:25:00,966 --> 00:25:03,501 INTERNATIONALLY WITH MY GIRLFRIEND, AND WE WENT TO SPAIN 433 00:25:03,501 --> 00:25:08,273 AND WE TRIED-- I TRIED EVERY BIT OF HAM THAT I COULD, BECAUSE 434 00:25:08,273 --> 00:25:12,878 EVERY RESTAURANT SAID THEY HAD THE BEST HAM, SO I HAD A PLATE 435 00:25:12,878 --> 00:25:16,081 OF HAM, MY GIRLFRIEND IS A VEGETARIAN AND THOUGHT THAT I 436 00:25:16,081 --> 00:25:19,251 WOULD EAT THE WHOLE THING, AND ROOM SERVICE SAID IT WAS THE 437 00:25:19,251 --> 00:25:26,091 BEST, GOT A PLATE, AND COULD NOT SLEEP BECAUSE OF THE JET LAG SO 438 00:25:26,091 --> 00:25:29,261 I ORDERED ANOTHER PLATE FROM ROOM SERVICE. 439 00:25:29,261 --> 00:25:30,495 Natasha: NEW AMSTERDAM. 440 00:25:30,495 --> 00:25:36,735 SO THE NEXT MORNING I WOKE UP NOT FEELING GREAT, WENT TO THE 441 00:25:36,735 --> 00:25:40,705 MUSEUM, ENDED UP BASICALLY A FETAL POSITION IN THE MUSEUM AND 442 00:25:40,705 --> 00:25:44,042 MY GIRLFRIEND COULD NOT FIND ME, AND CAME BACK AND SAW THAT I WAS 443 00:25:44,042 --> 00:25:48,914 LAYING DOWN AND WE RUSHED TO THE HOSPITAL AND GOT-- THEY SAID 444 00:25:48,914 --> 00:25:53,084 THAT I HAD GASTRO AND TONIGHT US AND TOOK A BUNCH OF TESTS AND I 445 00:25:53,084 --> 00:25:57,088 HAD TO NOT EAT HAM FOR THE REST OF THE TRIP. 446 00:25:57,088 --> 00:26:02,394 James: YOU FELT THE PAIN, AND THEN YOU THOUGHTS I HAVE TO 447 00:26:02,394 --> 00:26:05,130 LIE DOWN. 448 00:26:05,130 --> 00:26:07,766 I CANNOT CARRY ON. 449 00:26:07,766 --> 00:26:19,744 THERE IS BASICALLY A WHOLE PIGS ASS CHEEK WORTH OF HAM. 450 00:26:19,744 --> 00:26:21,947 James: WE HAVE HEARD FROM ALL THREE. 451 00:26:21,947 --> 00:26:25,317 Natasha: I COULD DO THIS BY THE WAY ALL NIGHT. 452 00:26:25,317 --> 00:26:28,053 James: YOU CAN DISCUSS BETWEEN YOURSELF. 453 00:26:28,053 --> 00:26:32,691 Natasha: WE COULD TALK, BUT I THINK WE KNOW. 454 00:26:32,691 --> 00:26:35,327 ANYONE WHO HAD SEX UNDER A TRUCK? 455 00:26:35,327 --> 00:26:36,328 PROBABLY. 456 00:26:36,328 --> 00:26:38,897 James: WHO DO YOU THINK IS TELLING THE TRUTH? 457 00:26:38,897 --> 00:26:42,934 Rian: TO BE ABSOLUTELY FAIR, ISABELLE AND BERT, I WAS 458 00:26:42,934 --> 00:26:47,272 NOT REALLY LISTENING TO YOUR STORIES, BECAUSE MY HEAD WAS 459 00:26:47,272 --> 00:26:48,707 STILL OVER HERE. 460 00:26:48,707 --> 00:26:50,141 BUT YOU SEEM VERY TRUSTWORTHY. 461 00:26:50,141 --> 00:26:52,644 Natasha: THEY SEEM LIKE DECENT PEOPLE, BUT THE IDEAS 462 00:26:52,644 --> 00:26:56,982 THAT WE PICK ONE. 463 00:26:56,982 --> 00:27:01,219 Rian: LET'S GO WITH DEATH BY HAM. 464 00:27:01,219 --> 00:27:05,290 Natasha: I FELT LIKE HE WAS ANGRY, WHICH MEANS HE WAS 465 00:27:05,290 --> 00:27:09,027 EXASPERATED LIKE HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TALK ABOUT THIS HAM 466 00:27:09,027 --> 00:27:10,161 SITUATION. 467 00:27:10,161 --> 00:27:13,565 Rian: SO WE ARE SAYING THAT BERT IS TELLING THE TRUTH. 468 00:27:13,565 --> 00:27:15,900 James: YOU ARE GOING FOR-- Rian: WE ARE SAYING THAT 469 00:27:15,900 --> 00:27:18,737 BERT IS TELLING THE TRUTH. 470 00:27:18,737 --> 00:27:21,573 James: BERT IS TELLING THE TRUTH AND TOM AND ISABELLE ARE 471 00:27:21,573 --> 00:27:28,079 LYING, WILL THE PERSON WHO IS TELLING THE TRUTH PLEASE STEP 472 00:27:28,079 --> 00:27:28,780 FORWARD. 473 00:27:28,780 --> 00:27:36,554 [DRUMROLL] IT WAS DEATH BY HAM! 474 00:27:36,554 --> 00:27:44,963 AND TO PROVE IT, WE HAVE PHOTOGRAPHIC EVIDENCE OF BERT'S 475 00:27:44,963 --> 00:27:45,497 HAM OVERDOSE. 476 00:27:45,497 --> 00:27:47,699 A LOOK AT RIGHT HERE. 477 00:27:47,699 --> 00:27:50,502 Rian: YOU ARE LUCKY YOU ARE ALIVE. 478 00:27:50,502 --> 00:27:54,305 James: THERE HE IS DICING WITH THE DEATH. 479 00:27:54,305 --> 00:27:58,743 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] James: THANK YOU! 480 00:27:58,743 --> 00:27:59,577 THAT WAS "LATE LATE LIARS"! 481 00:27:59,577 --> 00:28:01,312 WE WILL BE RIGHT BACK, EVERY EVERYBODY! 482 00:28:13,958 --> 00:28:15,126 James: WELCOME BACK! 483 00:28:15,126 --> 00:28:21,433 WE ARE HERE WITH NATASHA LYONNE AND RIAN JOHNSON, NOW RIAN, WE 484 00:28:21,433 --> 00:28:25,703 HAVE TO CONGRATULATE YOU ON YOUR OSCAR NOMINATION FOR "BEST 485 00:28:25,703 --> 00:28:30,108 ADAPTED SCREENPLAY" FOR "GLASS ONION." 486 00:28:30,108 --> 00:28:32,010 YOU WENT TO THE OSCARS LUNCHEON. 487 00:28:32,010 --> 00:28:35,513 AND WE HAVE A PHOTO, THERE YOU ARE. 488 00:28:35,513 --> 00:28:39,250 TALK TO ME, WHAT WAS THAT DAY LIKE? 489 00:28:39,250 --> 00:28:40,718 WHAT IS THAT LAUNCH LIKE? 490 00:28:40,718 --> 00:28:42,253 Rian: IT IS AMAZING. 491 00:28:42,253 --> 00:28:44,089 IT'S INCREDIBLE. 492 00:28:44,089 --> 00:28:47,092 FOR ME IT'S JUST-- YOU KIND OF HAVE TO EMBRACE IT AS A BIG 493 00:28:47,092 --> 00:28:49,227 WACKY EXPERIENCE. 494 00:28:49,227 --> 00:28:52,097 MAYBE ONCE IN MY LIFE I WILL GET TO DO THIS. 495 00:28:52,097 --> 00:28:55,266 SO THE LUNCH IS AMAZING, BECAUSE IT IS ALL THE NOMINEES. 496 00:28:55,266 --> 00:29:00,105 SO FIRST OF ALL, THERE IS LIKE TOM CRUISE AND STEVEN SPIELBERG 497 00:29:00,105 --> 00:29:04,109 AND ALL OF THESE FAMOUS PEOPLE, BUT THEN ALSO IT IS SOUND GUYS 498 00:29:04,109 --> 00:29:07,512 THAT YOU HAVE WORKED WITH BEFORE AND VISUAL EFFECTS ARTIST THAT I 499 00:29:07,512 --> 00:29:09,714 HAVE DONE STUFF WITH BEFORE. 500 00:29:09,714 --> 00:29:11,483 IT'S EVERYBODY MINGLING TOGETHER. 501 00:29:11,483 --> 00:29:13,151 AND IT FEELS LIKE MOVIE PROM. 502 00:29:13,151 --> 00:29:16,087 IT'S REALLY, REALLY FUN. 503 00:29:16,087 --> 00:29:21,326 James: IT IS SO GREAT AND WE SEND ALL OF OUR LUCK FOR THAT 504 00:29:21,326 --> 00:29:22,560 AWARD. 505 00:29:22,560 --> 00:29:24,162 THESE THINGS ARE ARBITRARY AND THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS BEST, 506 00:29:24,162 --> 00:29:29,567 BUT WE ARE ALL ROOTING FOR YOU AT "THE LATE LATE SHOW" FOR 507 00:29:29,567 --> 00:29:31,069 EVERYTHING! 508 00:29:31,069 --> 00:29:33,505 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] AND NOW NATASHA, I WANT TO TALK 509 00:29:33,505 --> 00:29:36,908 TO YOU ABOUT THIS, YOU AND JENNIFER COOLIDGE WORKED 510 00:29:36,908 --> 00:29:41,679 TOGETHER AND "AMERICAN PIE" IS IT TRUE THAT YOU PICTURE FOR THE 511 00:29:41,679 --> 00:29:44,682 TWO OF YOU TO MAKE A SEQUEL? 512 00:29:44,682 --> 00:29:45,850 IS THIS TRUE? 513 00:29:45,850 --> 00:29:49,454 Natasha: THE THING IS IN THIS MOMENT AS YOU ARE SAYING 514 00:29:49,454 --> 00:29:52,023 IT, WHY ISN'T IT TRUE? 515 00:29:52,023 --> 00:29:54,425 I WOULD LOVE TO THELMA AND LOUISE WITH HER, I HEAR THAT SHE 516 00:29:54,425 --> 00:29:58,396 WANTS TO PLAY A DOLPHIN, AND I DON'T KNOW IF I COULD GET IN ON 517 00:29:58,396 --> 00:30:03,268 THAT AS SORT OF A 2-DOLPHIN PICTURE. 518 00:30:03,268 --> 00:30:07,172 COULD THAT BE GORGEOUS IN A CAR? 519 00:30:07,172 --> 00:30:13,845 TWO DOLPHIN'S, AND IT WOULD SAY "AMERICAN PIE TRIPLE X" OR 520 00:30:13,845 --> 00:30:15,413 SOMETHING. 521 00:30:15,413 --> 00:30:16,347 MEANING PART 30. 522 00:30:16,347 --> 00:30:18,483 AND THAT WOULD BE FUN. 523 00:30:18,483 --> 00:30:20,552 [LAUGHTER] YEAH, I MEAN, IN FAIRNESS IT IS 524 00:30:20,552 --> 00:30:23,288 NOT WRITTEN YET. 525 00:30:23,288 --> 00:30:25,056 BUT THAT'S WHY RIAN IS HERE. 526 00:30:25,056 --> 00:30:28,226 James: FROM THE PITCH TO THE SCRIPT. 527 00:30:28,226 --> 00:30:29,928 Natasha: HONESTLY, GREEN LIGHT. 528 00:30:29,928 --> 00:30:34,199 YOU JUST SAY THE WORD GREEN LIGHT AND IT HAPPENS. 529 00:30:34,199 --> 00:30:37,368 James: DOLPHINS IN A CAR. 530 00:30:37,368 --> 00:30:40,205 IT'S A GREAT-- Natasha: THAT'S A GREAT 531 00:30:40,205 --> 00:30:41,406 NAME. 532 00:30:41,406 --> 00:30:44,375 James: REGGIE, DO YOU HAVE A QUESTION FOR OUR GUEST THIS 533 00:30:44,375 --> 00:30:44,909 EVENING? 534 00:30:44,909 --> 00:30:46,711 Reggie: YES, I DO. 535 00:30:46,711 --> 00:30:49,380 TONIGHT'S QUESTION IS...& DO YOU THINK YOU WILL DO AN 536 00:30:49,380 --> 00:30:51,849 EPISODE WHERE YOU FLASH FORWARD YOUR CHARACTER MAY BE 60 YEARS 537 00:30:51,849 --> 00:30:59,257 INTO THE FUTURE AND YOU ARE HELPING TO SOLVE LIKE SOME SOME 538 00:30:59,257 --> 00:31:03,428 KIND OF A CYBERNETICS RING OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT. 539 00:31:03,428 --> 00:31:04,095 Natasha: INTERESTING. 540 00:31:04,095 --> 00:31:07,031 I LOVE FUTURE, YOU KNOW THIS. 541 00:31:07,031 --> 00:31:11,202 RIAN, IF YOU ARE A GAME, I WOULD SAY, WHY NOT AS A CRYO FLASH 542 00:31:11,202 --> 00:31:13,071 FORWARD. 543 00:31:13,071 --> 00:31:14,239 WHY NOT? 544 00:31:14,239 --> 00:31:17,275 Rian: AS LONG AS WE CAN GET A DOLPHIN. 545 00:31:17,275 --> 00:31:20,178 Natasha: WE JUST NEED A FEW MORE ELEMENTS AND WE'VE GOT IT. 546 00:31:20,178 --> 00:31:27,518 I MEAN, IS THE CAR GOING TO BE A BEYOND WHEELS? 547 00:31:27,518 --> 00:31:32,190 Rian: IT'S "BACK TO THE FUTURE 2" SITUATION 548 00:31:32,190 --> 00:31:35,059 James: WE THINK IT IS ALL POSSIBILITY? 549 00:31:35,059 --> 00:31:35,827 Natasha: SURE. 550 00:31:35,827 --> 00:31:37,962 YOU WANT TO BE IN IT? 551 00:31:37,962 --> 00:31:41,199 Reggie: YES, OF COURSE I WOULD DEFINITELY BE IN IT. 552 00:31:41,199 --> 00:31:43,835 I WOULD BE LIKE "THAT'S NOT RIGHT." 553 00:31:43,835 --> 00:31:45,270 SOMETHING LIKE THAT. 554 00:31:45,270 --> 00:31:46,904 YES, THAT IS CORRECT. 555 00:31:46,904 --> 00:31:49,307 James: IT IS ABSOLUTELY CORRECT! 556 00:31:49,307 --> 00:31:50,975 PLEASE THANK NATASHA LYONNE AND RIAN JOHNSON! 557 00:31:50,975 --> 00:31:53,044 STICK AROUND, DYLAN ADLER IS HERE WHEN WE COME BACK! 558 00:32:08,993 --> 00:32:11,195 James: WELCOME BACK! 559 00:32:11,195 --> 00:32:12,397 OUR NEXT GUEST IS A BRILLIANT STAND-UP COMEDIAN AND WE'RE SO 560 00:32:12,397 --> 00:32:14,265 PROUD HE'S MAKING HIS LATE-NIGHT STAND-UP DEBUT HERE WITH US 561 00:32:14,265 --> 00:32:15,366 TONIGHT. 562 00:32:15,366 --> 00:32:18,936 YOU CAN SEE HIS OUTRAGEOUSLY FUNNY SOLO SHOW, "HIT THAT 563 00:32:18,936 --> 00:32:24,709 TRACK" TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 27TH AT DYNASTY TYPEWRITER RIGHT HERE IN 564 00:32:24,709 --> 00:32:25,877 L.A. 565 00:32:25,877 --> 00:32:29,947 PLEASE WELCOME THE FANTASTIC DYLAN ADLER. 566 00:32:29,947 --> 00:32:37,322 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] ♪ ♪ 567 00:32:37,322 --> 00:32:42,560 Dylan: HI, HOW LOW HELLO! 568 00:32:42,560 --> 00:32:44,662 OH, MY GOD, THANK YOU, GUYS. 569 00:32:44,662 --> 00:32:46,864 I AM SO EXCITED TO BE HERE. 570 00:32:46,864 --> 00:32:49,500 I'M JUST GOING TO TELL YOU A LITTLE BIT ABOUT MYSELF. 571 00:32:49,500 --> 00:32:57,575 I AM GAY AND I HAVE AN IDENTICAL GAY TWIN BROTHER. 572 00:32:57,575 --> 00:33:01,346 WHERE'S THE PILOT? 573 00:33:01,346 --> 00:33:03,781 [LAUGHTER] ME AND MY TWIN, WE GREW UP WITH 574 00:33:03,781 --> 00:33:07,418 ALL OF THE SAME BEST FRIENDS, OUR BEST FRIEND GROWING UP, HER 575 00:33:07,418 --> 00:33:08,052 NAME WAS TOMMY. 576 00:33:08,052 --> 00:33:09,420 WE BOTH HAD A CRUSH ON HER. 577 00:33:09,420 --> 00:33:16,060 SHE HAD A CRUSH ON BOTH OF US, SO SHE HAD TO DECIDE, WHICH GAY 578 00:33:16,060 --> 00:33:18,329 TWIN AM I GOING TO CHOOSE? 579 00:33:18,329 --> 00:33:21,733 WE WALK INTO OUR FIFTH GRADE CLASS AND SHE WROTE A LIST OF 580 00:33:21,733 --> 00:33:29,841 OUR TRAITS ON A WHITEBOARD UNDER THE TITLE "MY OPTIONS" FOR MY 581 00:33:29,841 --> 00:33:33,611 TWIN SHE WROTE SWEET, CUTE, GREAT, SMART. 582 00:33:33,611 --> 00:33:36,180 FOR ME SHE WROTE SWEET. 583 00:33:36,180 --> 00:33:42,887 THAT WAS THE DAY I BECAME A EMO ASIAN. 584 00:33:42,887 --> 00:33:49,961 I WAS LIKE "AM I MORE THAN YOU BARGAINED FOR YET ♪ 585 00:33:49,961 --> 00:33:57,034 ♪ AND NOW I HATED ♪ [APPLAUSE] 586 00:33:57,034 --> 00:34:04,575 I DOWNLOADED ALL OF "PARAMORE'S ALBUMS THAT NIGHT! 587 00:34:04,575 --> 00:34:07,178 BUT MY BROTHER AND I WERE SIMILAR, WE WOULD GET LUMPED 588 00:34:07,178 --> 00:34:10,915 TOGETHER A LOT, AND IT WAS SIDE-BY-SIDE TO CLASS AND A PALE 589 00:34:10,915 --> 00:34:16,187 SENIOR CAME UP TO US AND SAID THIS LITERALLY WORD FOR WORD 590 00:34:16,187 --> 00:34:23,060 "DID YOU KNOW THAT YOU BOTH LOOK LIKE EMPEROR WHO WROTE JAPAN 591 00:34:23,060 --> 00:34:27,932 FROM 80 BC TO 100 BC?" AND WE WERE LIKE OH, MY GOD, WAS 592 00:34:27,932 --> 00:34:28,733 HE HOT? 593 00:34:28,733 --> 00:34:35,640 AND I LOOKED IT UP, HE WAS SO HOT. 594 00:34:35,640 --> 00:34:40,478 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] OKAY, HERE'S MY DREAM, I REALLY 595 00:34:40,478 --> 00:34:46,384 WANT MY TWIN AND I TO PLAY IN LIKE A MUSICAL BIOTIC OF HIS 596 00:34:46,384 --> 00:34:47,618 LIFE, YOU KNOW? 597 00:34:47,618 --> 00:34:48,986 I SEE IT LIKE THERE WOULD BE A CURTAIN AND I WOULD COME OUT OF 598 00:34:48,986 --> 00:34:54,559 IT AND IT WOULD BE LIKE THIS, COMING SOON TO A 24, IT IS 599 00:34:54,559 --> 00:35:02,834 DOUBLE TROUBLE, AND I COME OUT, I'M ALSO EMPEROR AND WE ARE THE 600 00:35:02,834 --> 00:35:09,841 SINGER WEARING EMPEROR TWINS, THAT WAS MY LINE. 601 00:35:09,841 --> 00:35:10,174 RIGHT? 602 00:35:10,174 --> 00:35:16,581 I SEE IT! 603 00:35:16,581 --> 00:35:20,451 BUT ME AND MY BROTHER, WE WERE ACTUALLY THE VERY FIRST PEOPLE 604 00:35:20,451 --> 00:35:24,555 THAT WE EVER CAME OUT TO SOPHOMORE YEAR OF HIGH SCHOOL, 605 00:35:24,555 --> 00:35:29,227 HE CAME OUT TO ME AND SAID, DYLAN, I MIGHT BE ATTRACTED TO 606 00:35:29,227 --> 00:35:30,127 GUYS. 607 00:35:30,127 --> 00:35:37,401 AND I WAS LIKE, EW, DON'T SAY THAT AGAIN! 608 00:35:37,401 --> 00:35:40,571 [LAUGHTER] BUT THEN IT WAS LIKE, SAME 609 00:35:40,571 --> 00:35:41,706 PERIOD A YEAR LATER. 610 00:35:41,706 --> 00:35:45,610 SO THEN WE CAME OUT TO OUR FAMILY AND WE CAME OUT TO HER 611 00:35:45,610 --> 00:35:48,779 MOM, WHO IS IN THE AUDIENCE TONIGHT! 612 00:35:48,779 --> 00:35:53,718 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] YES! 613 00:35:53,718 --> 00:35:56,988 WE CAME OUT TO HER, AND SHE WAS THRILLED. 614 00:35:56,988 --> 00:36:01,759 SHE WAS LIKE HAVING TWO GAY TWIN SONS QUICKLY BECAME HER WHOLE 615 00:36:01,759 --> 00:36:02,927 PERSONALITY. 616 00:36:02,927 --> 00:36:06,497 LIKE ONE TIME SHE OPENED THE FRIDGE AND BEANS FELL OUT, AND 617 00:36:06,497 --> 00:36:10,468 SHE WAS LIKE "THERE IS SO MUCH DRAMA AND MY LIFE." 618 00:36:10,468 --> 00:36:14,972 [LAUGHTER] SHE WAS LIKE ASIAN JOAN RIVERS, 619 00:36:14,972 --> 00:36:16,207 I SWEAR. 620 00:36:16,207 --> 00:36:20,511 EXCEPT ONE TIME IN 2004, WE WERE ALL WATCHING "AMERICAN IDOL." 621 00:36:20,511 --> 00:36:27,552 AND SHE WAS LIKE, CLAY AIKEN. 622 00:36:27,552 --> 00:36:33,791 AND MORE LIKE GAY AIKEN. 623 00:36:33,791 --> 00:36:36,093 OTHER THAN THAT, SHE IS AN ALLY! 624 00:36:36,093 --> 00:36:36,961 NO ONE IS PERFECT. 625 00:36:36,961 --> 00:36:40,131 IT WAS A DIFFERENT TIME, WE FORGIVE YOU. 626 00:36:40,131 --> 00:36:42,767 BUT I HAVE TO ADDRESS IT AT THIS POINT. 627 00:36:42,767 --> 00:36:52,209 I AM BIRACIAL, MY MOM IS JAPANESE, AND MY DAD IS JEWISH! 628 00:36:52,209 --> 00:36:59,016 SOY-- THERE IS NOT A THIRD! 629 00:36:59,016 --> 00:37:04,388 [LAUGHTER] BUT MY BROTHER AND I HAD TO COME 630 00:37:04,388 --> 00:37:06,824 OUT TO OUR JAPANESE GRANDPARENTS, MY BROTHER HAD A 631 00:37:06,824 --> 00:37:10,528 BOYFRIEND THAT WOULD COME TO VISIT, AND WHEN WE DID, THERE 632 00:37:10,528 --> 00:37:13,064 WERE SURPRISINGLY VERY ACCEPTING, WHICH COMPLETELY 633 00:37:13,064 --> 00:37:16,367 SHOCKED US, BECAUSE THEY GREW UP IN A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT 634 00:37:16,367 --> 00:37:19,337 GENERATION. 635 00:37:19,337 --> 00:37:22,974 MY GRANDPARENTS FAMILY HAD INTERMENT IN WORLD WAR II AT THE 636 00:37:22,974 --> 00:37:28,746 SAME TIME, MY GRANDPA WAS IN JAPAN AND SIGNED UP TO BE A 637 00:37:28,746 --> 00:37:32,650 KAMIKAZE PILOT, THE JAPANESE IMPERIAL ARMY, AND I DID NOT PUT 638 00:37:32,650 --> 00:37:38,055 THAT IN MY COLLEGE ESSAY LIKE A DUMB BITCH. 639 00:37:38,055 --> 00:37:40,424 I COULD'VE GONE TO HARVARD! 640 00:37:40,424 --> 00:37:43,828 I COULD HAVE TITLED THAT "THE WAR IN ME!" 641 00:37:43,828 --> 00:37:44,862 ARE YOU KIDDING ME? 642 00:37:44,862 --> 00:37:49,634 I COULD HAVE SUBMITTED A SONG WITH MY APPLICATION. 643 00:37:49,634 --> 00:37:52,036 ♪ HAVE COLONIZER ♪ ♪ HAVE COLONIZED ♪ 644 00:37:52,036 --> 00:37:55,406 ♪ HALF INTERNMENT ♪ ♪ HAVE ONE OF THE LIES ♪ 645 00:37:55,406 --> 00:37:59,477 ♪ BUT I'M TRYING TO MAKE PEACE WITH THE JEWISH-AMERICAN PILOT 646 00:37:59,477 --> 00:38:03,214 INSIDE OF ME ♪ [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 647 00:38:03,214 --> 00:38:14,392 ♪ THIS IS MY APPLICATION TO HARVARD ♪ 648 00:38:14,392 --> 00:38:15,292 THANK YOU SO MUCH! 649 00:38:15,292 --> 00:38:21,065 James: OH, MY GOSH, THAT WAS AMAZING! 650 00:38:21,065 --> 00:38:22,233 DYLAN ADLER, EVERYBODY! 651 00:38:22,233 --> 00:38:23,701 CHECK OUT "HIT THAT TRACK" LIVE AT DYNASTY TYPEWRITER ON 652 00:38:23,701 --> 00:38:24,435 TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 27TH. 653 00:38:24,435 --> 00:38:25,503 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK. 654 00:38:44,989 --> 00:38:48,125 James: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR WATCHING. 655 00:38:48,125 --> 00:38:50,695 TOMORROW NIALL HORAN AND ORLANDO BLOOM, PLUS "NEXT LEVEL CHEF'S," 656 00:38:50,695 --> 00:38:58,536 GORDON RAMSAY AND I ARE OPENING A BRAND-NEW RESTAURANT! 657 00:38:58,536 --> 00:38:59,070 YOU DON'T WANT TO MISS TOMORROW NIGHT'S SHOW! 658 00:38:59,070 --> 00:39:00,938 REGGIE, TAKE US HOME!