[Wags] Previously on Billions...
To our new AG.
[chuckling] Oh. Long may he rule.
Until recently, I had always had a North Star.
It's too late.
That's how divorced people talk.
It is.
You really are serious about making a change.
I am committed to this course.
To purge the world of villainy.
And myself of...
I guess villainy, too.
Told ya: done giving you info.
There will come a time
when you will be forced to line up against Axe
for your very survival.
When it does, you will need me.
I'll trade ya a whole pie,
plus solve your Rhoades problems,
for an introduction to a certain guy who works for your outfit.
They call me "Hard Bob," and you know why?
I have an idea.
'Cause I brook no bullshit.
Last I checked, we still had some sovereignty.
This is where you want to make a stand?
You stole my shaman.
When I compete, hell, I'm there to win.
Game's not over, buddy boy.
But if Mase Cap is no longer an operation, what do I do here?
That's your answer to the fireside chat:
You want to become a bank.
I want to become a bank.
In order to rob it?
In order that I don't have to.
♪ dramatic music ♪
♪♪♪
♪ Cat Stevens' "Father and Son" ♪
♪ It's not time to make a change ♪
♪ Just relax, take it easy ♪
♪ You're still young, that's your fault ♪
♪ There's so much you have to know ♪
♪ Find a girl, settle down ♪
♪ If you want, you can marry ♪
♪ Look at me ♪
♪ I am old, but I'm happy ♪
♪ I was once like you are now ♪
♪ And I know that it's not easy ♪
How do you know this shit isn't gonna blow up?
'Cause Gordie Axelrod only blows up shit when he wants to.
Did you just go full third-person?
Yeah, I know. Too much.
I got carried away with the excitement.
[walkie-talkie hisses] Marcus. Good to go.
♪ dramatic music ♪
♪♪♪
[walkie-talkie hisses] Yah. Good to go.
Alright. Two. One. Jam it.
-[lever clangs] -[mechanical beeping, whirring]
-[chuckles] -Yeah! Let's get rich...
-[chuckling] Yeah. -We're crypto millionaires!
♪♪♪
[electricity zapping]
[power fades]
♪♪♪
Oh, shit.
Gordie Axelrod done fucked up.
[electricity hums]
♪♪♪
[horns honking]
[indistinct conversations]
♪ dramatic music ♪
♪♪♪
[door creaks, closes]
♪♪♪
[Wags] Damn.
Those photos the dealer sent don't capture the...
Power?
Yeah, you have to stand in front of a painting.
Feel what it does to you.
I'm sure feeling something.
What is it?
Oh. Guy's wrestling with the big themes.
[Wags] Sex, drugs, and Cocoa Puffs?
Close...
This.
This is the one.
♪ dramatic music ♪
Dealer said his last show was a while ago.
[Wags] Dealer said it was almost a bust--
[Wags] guy refused to dance for collectors.
[Wags] But it sold through.
-The work-- -Yeah, the work.
Good job getting me in here while it's still virgin snow.
Let's grab these up before the show starts.
♪♪♪
-What the fuck? -Red dots?
That means sold. That means--
There was a pre-pre-viewing?
[Wags] Im-fucking-possible. It happened.
[Axe] We got snaked.
I will find the dealer and ship him back to that armory
broken down like a disassembled M-16 in a fucking crate--
Forget the dealer. We'll get him later.
Right now we go to the source.
♪♪♪
[indistinct conversations]
You know what this guy looks like?
No. Very low-pro on the web.
Well. We'll spot him...
[conversations continue]
Look.
And now we have.
[conversations continue]
Hey, Tanner,
-Bobby Axelrod-- -How you doing?
Tanner, Axe, here, is a major collector.
Great eye for what's next. Worth knowing.
I wish I had something to sell you. But--
Prince. You bought the Implosion series.
Oh. I love knowing that you dig 'em, too.
Yeah. I got here early, and they spoke to me.
Damn, man. Not my intention to scoop you.
Hey, if it couldn't be me. Salut.
Just kill me now.
Disturbing work, huh?
It really gets into the weighty questions.
Mm. You know, what caught my eye
is the humility in the face of inevitable decay.
Something you missed, no doubt.
Ahh, well, I'll have plenty of time to find it
when it's hanging in my beach house.
[chuckles]
Well, you'll beat me to the punch next time.
How much second-rate dogshit did you have to buy
-to get him in early? -Nah, buying someone off,
-that's your move. -What'd you use, charm?
[chuckles] Charm? Charm's thin.
Shit, you're charming, but you ain't got a painting.
No, I happen to be warm and inviting.
And draw people to me.
In this case, I lucked into catching
a morning set with his dealer in Zuma.
Yesterday. Hardly had to ask.
Serendipity do da.
So. Where do you go from here?
Home. Back to Hudson.
Oh? You done with Implosion?
Are you?
I'm, uh, talking with the artist.
♪♪♪
'Cause I'd love to buy if you have more.
I-I don't have a fucking clue if I ever will.
I've always been obsessed with what happens to things
when they come to their end.
Yeah. I don't paint for money.
Never have. Or demand.
So I don't know.
Well when you do, think of me.
Okay.
[Prince] Tanner, it's your moment,
let's go down and let 'em see our paintings.
[indistinct conversations]
I failed you, habibi.
I don't feel like bucking you up right now.
-Just do the next thing. -Which is?
"I don't paint for money"
means nobody has paid me enough yet.
So: If you can't buy the art--
buy the artist.
[conversations continue]
♪ dramatic music ♪
What happens when you give me a job?
[door closes]
Like Hector Elizondo in The Flamingo Kid:
You cut a joint, it stays.
I have no idea what any of those words mean.
But yes. I get the damn job done.
See, he's a plumber...
And, uh, he works with his hands.
A pipe joint is, um...
Anyway, in this case?
Once the governor took our budget
and those criminal cases away, you said, uh--
[Chuck] Yes. Find me some civil cases
-[Chuck] with big settlements. -Mm.
Since we get to keep 'em and spend it as we see fit.
Well, I did it.
We'll have about 5 million coming in.
[laughs]
Praise be.
Yep. Just like Elizondo in Kid.
I'll take that as a compliment.
Oh, that's how it was intended.
If I'd wanted to insult you, I'd have called you Big Sid.
Good job.
♪ dramatic music ♪
-Keep it coming. -[door opens]
♪♪♪
[Axe] What do you think?
[Wags] Think he'll go for it?
-[Axe] Wouldn't you? -[Wags] Yeah.
But I don't see the world the way he does.
It does get good light though...
Mm.
♪♪♪
You wanted to talk banks?
-[Axe] Mm. -Let's talk banks.
Axe--you're not getting a bank.
[Krakow] That is, sadly, the long and short of it.
Which I could've told you in five minutes at your office,
where we were supposed to meet--
Yeah, change of plans.
[Krakow] What is this place? Special project.
Don't worry about it.
So, how'm I getting a bank.
Told you, you won't.
FDIC approval is never happening.
We know it's hard. That's why we have Hard Bob here.
To crack it open.
You didn't come to New York City just to give us apologies--
No, I came for the Armory Show.
And him?
I like art parties.
[Krakow] Which we will be getting back to post-haste--
-[cellphone vibrates] -after I make you understand
why a federal bank will not be in your future.
Hello?
Understood... I'll be there this afternoon.
We need to get on a plane.
Gordie stepped in some shit at school.
-Have a good trip-- -[Axe] Uh uh. Hang tight.
You two are both coming with.
And by the time we land,
I want to know how I am getting a fucking bank.
♪♪♪
[scoffs]
♪ dramatic music ♪
♪♪♪
[Mafee] No fucking way that works.
[Winston] No fucking way you understand it.
[Chancellor Adams] We educate them so they can run the world.
[Chancellor Adams] One day.
[Chancellor Adams] But we can't let them run the school.
[Chancellor Adams] That's our job.
[Chancellor Adams] To make the tough decisions
until they're ready to.
Is that hand-holding? Is that condescension?
No. Here at Lawrenceburg, we call it guidance.
-[keys clacks] -He's right about that.
The students at that university--
if he lets them win, decide where to invest--
he's lost all control.
That's what he's saying.
But not what he believes.
This is NLP. Natural Language Processing.
[Taylor] Analyzing subtext through artificial intelligence.
-[Taylor] It does work. -And pretty fucking cool.
The computer is digging past the words he's saying,
beneath the speech itself--
-Still seems like bullshit. -[Taylor] Stay with us.
By analyzing speech patterns, vocal frequencies,
tone, sentence structure,
it tells us that this man wants to divest
his university's billion dollar fund
from fossil fuels.
And not just because of student protests.
-Because he thinks it's right. -That's a theory, right?
A probability?
Look at him: trying.
Yes, it is a probabilistic conclusion.
But we've analyzed his statements
and noticed a change about five years ago--
the first time any major university divested.
If he wants in on the party, why's he holding back?
[Hammon] You know it's not so easy
to unroll from these positions
without significant losses.
-Can we? -[Winston] Hell yeah, we can!
I mean, this will be the first live test.
But yeah... I'm pretty fucking sure.
[keys clacking]
Have Lauren set the pitch.
I know some of his board of trustees.
This won't be easy.
Big wins never are.
Then go get that endowment.
And don't fail, because after Langstraat pulled...
Yes. Another loss will be demoralizing.
And crippling.
To succeed we're going to need you to be
something you haven't been lately.
Friendly?
Effective.
♪ dramatic music ♪
♪♪♪
[door closes]
How do you appeal to someone whose values,
whose entire system of beliefs, is opposed to yours?
-Are you talking about me? -Not this time. No.
Although you should have asked me before approaching Lauren.
Do you want to talk about it now?
No. No, a potential investor.
Chancellor of Lawrenceburg.
Do you want to give me more information
or leave it super theoretical?
I would like to give you, at all times,
as little information as possible.
But: We have found a way to get underneath his words.
He knows he should divest his school from fossil fuels.
He hates that the pressure to do so is coming from students.
And if he does it in the wrong way,
he believes he will be fired.
So he cares too much about things
he shouldn't care about at all?
Part of him wants to fight the kids
for the sake of fighting the kids.
But that isn't rational.
That's the problem with the real world,
real people.
We're not computers
with the software directing the hardware.
We're not rational actors.
-Some of us are. -Some of us think we are.
[Wendy] Are you familiar with Jonathan Haidt?
The social psychologist.
-Do you believe in God? -Um, no.
A simple transaction.
Ten bucks, for your eternal soul.
Oh, and you need to sign it over on paper.
[paper rustles]
[pen thuds]
Do you take the deal?
[Wendy] And that pause tells you
[Wendy] everything you need to know about people.
The moment when convictions run headlong
into layers of psychological baggage
that evolution and social convention
have wrapped them in.
You don't believe in the religious concept of a soul,
yet you still hesitate at selling yours.
There's still that gap
between rational thought and rational action.
Between software and hardware
How do we bridge that gap?
Make the man fear inaction.
And the regret he'll have if he makes the wrong move.
And now we're back to Lauren.
Stop moving people around as you think best,
even if you're right.
You should have approached me first.
We should talk more.
♪ dramatic music ♪
[pen scratches]
[pen clatters]
♪♪♪
[door opens]
♪♪♪
[ice cubes clinking]
-[Sabrina] Gentlemen. -Thanks, Sabrina.
[Sabrina] Enjoy.
I don't want to offend. May I speak freely?
Please do.
Even you can't bribe, beg,
and bully your way into a bank.
Your past legal troubles make you too fragrant
to clear the federal background dive.
The SEC will drop its scat all over your application.
I, too, don't want to offend. May I speak freely?
Mode I prefer. I brook no bullshit.
You can go fuck yourself.
Our legal issues were extinguished.
Bringing them up now is like watching porn
after you've already gotten off.
Well, may I speak freely?
Your legal issues were the tip
of the fucking toxic iceberg--
May I speak freely?
You can both speak fucking freely.
I thought you were omnipotent. Or pretty fucking close anyway.
Now you're telling the FDIC won't give me approval?
Even Jesus kept the miracles in the realm of the conceivable.
The FDIC makes the casino licensing board
look as soft as Cottonelle.
The fucking bankers almost bankrupted the country--
And they got even richer when they did it.
But they got their licenses first.
They were smart enough not to stick their shmekels
into the tushies of the average American
until they actually had a goddamn bank charter.
As in all things, sequence matters.
-You got too dirty too soon. -Mm-hmm.
So gimme a plan.
Take your chance with a state charter.
Different regulators, lesser. Perhaps more open to the...
Bribing, the begging, the bullying.
We'd still be a bank.
If you make it through the flaming hoops.
You'll need to show a high level of liquidity.
You'll need an airtight board.
You'll need a, a unassailable CEO.
And you'll have to rehab your image with state pols
who will be unapologetic
and totally blind to their own corruption.
Why don't you come work for me, Hard Bob?
You know the territory. I like the way you roll.
Lease him out to me.
He's his own man, he can do what he wants.
Thanks for the offer, I find it touching--
but I love working for the G alongside Special K here.
I'll stick where I am.
[cellphone vibrates]
Hey Lar...
[clears throat]
I know...
Yeah. I'm on my way now.
They're not throwing him out of anywhere,
you can count on that...
♪ dramatic music ♪
[Gordie] Dad--
What the fuck, Gord?
Bitcoin mining in your dorm?
-Multi-mining. -What the fuck is a 'multi?'
Mining a selection of cryptocurrencies
with the highest market prices
and trading them back for Bitcoin.
It's the smart way to do the stupid thing he was doing.
But it was gonna work. And it should have worked.
If the wiring in the dorm wasn't so shit--
You're blaming that?
Well. That's why we bypassed the internal fusing.
Give us a call when you quit college.
We'll have a job for you.
Now, Gord, where'd you come up
with a fucking scheme like this?
[doors open]
Your son was responsible
for the cascading failure of the local grid.
[Kessel] Knocked out the town.
All in service of some digital Mammon...
♪ dramatic music ♪
♪♪♪
I don't think Gordie should be here for this.
I'm going to speak more plainly
than you're used to, Mr. Axelrod.
My son can handle it.
I'm not sure you understand, sir.
I'm going to talk--
I get it.
Like Senator Geary in Two.
And, as Il Padrino did in that picture,
let me make you an offer.
A generous donation to the school.
Plus the costs of fixing up whatever it is Gordie broke.
Because that, that's what this is to you.
Something you fix
by dangling trinkets in front of my face.
[clock ticking]
Your son dishonors himself,
dishonors this school,
and you see it as part of a financial transaction.
Dishonors? I think you're soaking up
a little bit too much of the atmosphere here.
It was...[sighs]
Let's call it an independent lab project gone bad.
Knocked out a few lights.
But you gotta admit, showed initiative.
Our business leaders today, they started young,
goes doubly for our startups--
It showed, Mr. Axelrod, a complete lack of respect
for the codes and morals
that we've been instilling in our young men,
and more recently women, for generations.
And more than that,
more than that, it's a true lack of character.
[ticking continues]
[Kessel] Though I am sorry--
[Kessel] because as much as I want to believe
that each student that enters Skinner Prep
comes in here a blank slate--
oh, sir, I don't know if your son
ever really had that chance.
Hmm.
You really did want to insult me today.
No. I want to wake you up to the dangers your son is in.
To the dangers you helped put him in.
[Kessel] The world outside this campus may be in crisis--
[Kessel] driven there largely by men like you,
[Kessel] modern-day robber barons
who only care about acquiring more, more, more, more--
but here, this place, sir,
this oasis, is the antidote.
I can't tell how many zeros you're looking for.
[sighs]
At this school, we don't hold the sins of the father
against the son.
But we do judge the sins of the son
on their own merits.
And right now, I have to tell you,
I'm leaning heavily toward expulsion.
Yeah. Lean too far, you might could fall.
I'm no band leader.
Last guy who said that lost his prized equine.
It might seem like a tough lesson.
But no matter how hard you try--
I will not allow you to put a price on Gordie's soul.
Good day.
♪ dramatic music ♪
♪♪♪
[doors open]
Am I punished?
I don't know what I'm doing with you.
[door closes]
First, let's get you clear of it.
Tell me we got something good on this prig?
Bad news. The Headmaster, Kessel, is clean.
This is a man with no discernible vices.
No arrests, no legal battles,
no financial problems. Not even a DUI.
I mean who doesn't have a single DUI on their record...
I digress.
Fuck this place--
-Wait, I like it here-- -Thacker Prep.
Beech Abbey School. Eaglestone.
All fine, fine institutions--
Those are rehabs and reform schools.
And all brief resting places for me in my youth.
I was going to offer to make a call.
Gordie's not tumbling down the fucking ladder,
he's staying here.
Look. If we can't squeeze the Headmaster,
then we squeeze what he loves most: the school.
And we squeeze him where it's most tender: the donors.
I'll call Hall.
Dad, I'm really sorry. Hey. Hey.
Of course I defend you in front of the Headmaster--
never speak against the family--
but between us, you really fucked up.
The risk/reward ratio is off.
And there are better ways to impress a girl--
than putting your whole future at stake.
Look. I'm not mad that you ran a scheme,
I'm mad you didn't game it out.
Second law of thermodynamics, Gordie--
Total entropy of a system--
No. The price of your actions.
Now we have to ruin a headmaster.
-A good man. -What a show of parentage.
I have so much to learn from you both,
about communication between a father and a son.
♪ dramatic music ♪
♪♪♪
Hall, we have a job for you,
breaking down a prep school
like a butcher quartering a spring lamb.
I'll get to that in a minute.
But first, I have a job for you.
I've had an epiphany, watching Axe with--
anyway, it is time
that I became a real pater familias.
I am reaching out to all of my children.
I have tabs on the little ones,
but I need you to... locate my older sons.
Look, the truth is:
They cut me off.
But I need to see what they're up to--
what they've become.
♪ dramatic music ♪
[horn honks]
We were thrilled to hear that you might be interested
in teaching here at the Law School this semester.
And I was doubly thrilled that you could make the time
to talk with me about it, Dean Walker.
A sitting AG?
Students will be cutting each other off at the knees
to get into your office hours.
Appreciate the compliment,
though looking back at my days here,
most of the scrambling was drunken
and involved fried glazed doughnuts at The Doodle.
[chuckles] Education should be robust.
[Chuck] For me it was.
Oh. The world-- and my place in it--
was never so clear as when I was at school here.
Sleepless, buried under an avalanche
of books and case studies--
the point of it all never burned so brightly.
Oh. I was in hell, yes, but it all made sense.
I feel the same about Law School.
Mm.
Ah. That's right...
you know, I-I keep rolling it around in the ol' noggin.
When I was here, I had a sense of purpose,
you know, a surety that the law, and my intention
of doing good and right as a prosecutor,
was a kind of shield.
And you learned the very tools
that allowed you to ascend to the job--
For sure.
Oh. To fight the evil in this world.
And if I can be a part of giving
the next generation the weapons--
[Walker] How lucky they'll be to have you.
Oh. [chuckles]
We are thrilled that you'll be a visiting professor.
The Rhoades name is woven into our tradition here...
And as a member
of our Facultas Legis,
perhaps you could help us with a small matter.
It seems your father agreed
to an annual donation
of a hundred thousand dollars...
-Uh-huh. -...and he's a bit in arrears.
[chuckles]
How many years has he missed?
Well, all of them.
All of them.
Mm-hmm.
If you could help, that'd be great.
[Walker] Either way, we look forward to you joining us.
♪ dramatic music ♪
I'm here from Governor Sweeney's office
to pick up the check.
Which check is that?
The one for $5 million.
The funds from your office's recent seizure?
You should have called
and saved the wear and tear on your Florsheims then
because the way I understand it,
those funds are ours to deploy as we see fit.
No.
They're at the governor's discretion and direction.
And he's directed me to come and get them.
[Alexander] He feels that the Manhattan DA's office
can put them to better use.
Have a check cut by end of day.
Enjoy your self-satisfied smile while it lasts.
♪ dramatic music ♪
♪♪♪
I never said I wanted to divest.
You wouldn't be here if you didn't know
it was the right thing to do.
And that I'm the person who knows how to do it.
How can a man in my position
give in to the whims of the current student--
Yes. You have drawn battle lines.
And so you think of it as giving in.
I'm not the only one.
The chairman of my board of trustees has a strong take--
What's his take going to be
if other institutions do this first?
Well. As long as we're not last,
I think he'll be just fine with it.
You are too smart to think that way.
And know your history too well.
Wait and see results in missing out.
Can you guarantee me that we'll make real money
in the process?
You will be out of your petroleum positions.
You will be seen as responsive to legitimate concerns.
And you will be on the cutting edge
of financial thinking.
If that's not a win, tell me what is.
And the entitled asshole class known as the student body
will think they won and bullied me into it.
How often does someone give you the chance
to do the smart thing,
even when ego and lifelong wiring
are trying to pull you in a different direction?
I understand, firsthand,
what it is to choke down the bile of compromise
for the sake of the greater good.
Yes, it feels gross and you shudder and shake.
But you wake up the next day with a mind at ease.
Because you have protected the long term.
Instead of indulging in the momentary feeling
of being strong.
♪ dramatic music ♪
[tablet scrapes]
♪♪♪
I'll take it to the trustees.
♪♪♪
Yeah. I'll call you soon.
[girl] [scoffs] Whatever.
Okay, so. I found out a donor
who gave 800K to the athletic department each year.
He's friends with friends of ours.
So I reached out.
Only it ain't 800K he gives.
It's a mil.
There's 200K a year going somewhere else.
What'd you learn?
Uh. No. That was...um...
You ever try talking to a 14-year-old girl
on FaceTime?
Goddamn, I hope that was one of your kids.
My youngest.
It was rough.
But instead of dwelling on that,
and what it means for who I am and have been,
as a man, husband and father,
I'm gonna get on figuring out what Headmaster Kessel did
with that missing 200k.
♪ dramatic music ♪
[thunder rumbling]
[Ben Kim] This is such an honor.
Creative people have always been
so mystifying and special to me.
Perhaps because my mother always told me
to keep away from them.
Yeah, my mother used to say things.
[Ben Kim] And working for Axe--
the speed at which his mind operates,
the vastness of what it can hold,
the way he recognizes and rewards talent--
it can bring out the best in you.
Things you didn't even know you were capable of.
Plus, the money!
Thanks for showing me in.
[thunder rumbling, rain pounding]
Hey, if you want to cry or something, man,
go right ahead.
I got no judgments, nothing but love.
[vehicle passing]
[exhales sharply]
♪ dramatic music ♪
[door closes]
Hey, Axe.
Hey, look, man. I can't do this.
It's not how I work.
[Axe] No, no, yeah, yeah, I understand.
I expected this call.
Hang in, we'll break some bread and we'll get into it.
[sighs]
Yeah, alright. Alright.
♪ dramatic music ♪
♪♪♪
[line ringing]
♪ It's alright ♪
Axe, when are you coming down?
I'm making a great gelato.
Soon. But in the meantime, listen,
I'm sending someone in to pick up a few pies.
I'm out of town
[Axe] but I've got an important dinner.
You know I don't do that kind of thing.
This pizza doesn't travel.
It's not supposed to be reheated.
It's pizza. It's designed to travel.
Not this pizza.
It goes from the oven to your mouth.
Listen. I won't hold you responsible for the taste.
[Anthony] [sighs] Only for you, Axe.
♪ She got a motor ♪
♪ Oh, baby, come on and ride with me ♪
-♪ She got a motor ♪ -[telephone ringing]
Chancellor.
Are we ready to discuss ACATing
[Taylor] your accounts over?
We are not.
This is Admiral Bill Karras,
chairman of the board of trustees.
You may have hypnotized the chancellor, here.
[Karras] But I have stood up to much harsher methods
of interrogation.
I see.
See this:
We are not going to let any candy-ass students
[Karras] tell us how and when to invest our endowment.
[Karras] Thank you for your interest in our university.
[line disconnects]
[receiver slams]
[keys clacking]
Admiral Karras. You know him?
Wild Bill?
Not that many four-star flag officers walking around.
I was never under his direct command.
Met him at a fleet briefing on the Saudi Peninsula.
His men had a song about him
and how he could power a carrier with his temper.
-Why? -He's holding up our endowment.
How can you arm me to take a run at him?
By telling you to stay here and let me do it.
You think I'm a candy ass?
He thinks almost everyone serving in the Navy
is a candy ass.
And he definitely thinks that
of absolutely everyone who didn't serve.
Then I'm going to let you take it.
♪ dramatic music ♪
[door closes]
[baby cooing]
My boy, my girl--
[Chuck] Ah. The hearth is complete.
Can't picture you doing that with me.
Your lips never touched formula.
You were at your mother's teat
until you started reading Chaucer.
[chuckles]
But you get with the times, or you grow old.
You want to hold your sister?
[baby coos]
Uh, no. It's not a social call.
Uh, I just came from old Ya-lay U.
I'm doing a bit of teaching this semester.
Back to the teat, eh? It'll do me good.
And you would do me and the school well
to follow through on your financial commitment.
I'm done paying for your schooling.
Hey. You agreed to the donations, not me.
Son, these things are all politics and politicking.
When it comes to academic philanthropy,
it's a case of fox and hound.
And I'm the fox.
It's not a game. You made a pledge.
I have new priorities now.
[Roxanne] You certainly do.
And Yale doesn't need your money--
their endowment's 30 billion already.
You're on board with this?
Has Yale offended you?
Something in how they've historically dealt
with indigenous peoples?
[baby coos]
No, I'm offended
by the idea of paying for a family legacy
when the family doesn't really act like a family.
[baby coos]
Ah.
♪♪♪
[chuckles]
[smooches]
[Chuck] Uh-huh.
[baby cooing]
The warm embrace of the brood is indeed important.
As strange and circuitously linked as that brood may be.
[sighs]
Perhaps I've been dilatory in my familial duties.
My children have not had the pleasure
of truly welcoming the newest members of our clan.
It's high time I correct that oversight.
We'd like that very much.
I take it you'll have no trouble navigating
the soon-to-be-former Mrs. Wendy Rhoades?
Oh.
No one's more family-first.
♪ dramatic music ♪
♪♪♪
We're gonna walk into his office
and we're gonna let the Headmaster know
what we know about him, and then you...
[bag zipping]
...will be sleeping back in your dorm room tonight, Gord--
[knock on door]
Oh. Glad I caught you.
Just had a one-on-one with Skinner's athletic director.
Amiable man, after a fashion.
He confirmed Kessel took the money?
Yes...and no.
Pinched it but didn't pocket it.
Redirected it.
He's actually working for the good.
Like Robin of fucking Locksley?
Much like that.
Um. Kessel sidetracked the excess money from wrestling
to fund a scholarship program for Syrian refugees
that the school had refused to fund.
Three of those refugees and their families
are on campus this year.
[sighs]
I'll stand by.
So the headmaster, sanctimonious though he sure is,
turns out is a good man after all.
So, do we still have to destroy him?
What do you think?
[sighs]
Such a father.
Hey.
Still haven't caught up with your eldest?
My Georgie? No, I haven't.
Last I heard, he ran a legal cannabis business
in Colorado--
but it crossed state lines.
Now, much like the answer, he's blowing in the wind.
♪ Cat Stevens' "Father and Son" ♪
Don't beat yourself up on this, Wags.
Fathering ain't easy.
♪♪♪
[cellphone clatters]
[sighs heavily] [line ringing]
Hey.
[Axe] I have what I need to take this Headmaster out.
Do I fix this for him?
How do I not fuck my kid up more?
[Wendy] That's the question
every decent parent asks every day.
Let's say you take the laissez-faire approach,
let the market have its way with Gordie.
He learns there are consequences.
Gets suspended, probably expelled.
Ends up at a lower-tier prep school
or New York Military Academy.
Goes to Colby instead of Harvard.
There's-- There's no shame in that...
I mean, unless for the kid
who's going mini-Winklevoss at 14--
it's what he set his sights on.
[Wendy] Then it's crushing.
[Wendy] And maybe he blames you for the consequence.
[Wendy] And that chip on his shoulder
[Wendy] turns into a drinking problem by the time he's 28.
[Wendy] Or he blames himself,
[Wendy] accepts the consequences,
[Wendy] self-worth gets dinged up pretty good--
And winds up with a drinking problem by the time he's 28.
♪♪♪
And then there's you--
can you stay the course-- with whatever you decide?
Because if you dive in after him only sometimes,
he won't know how or when to swim, or breathe, or trust.
It's got to be tough love all the way--
which could work out great,
he could turn out great--
or the interventionist approach forevermore.
So the question is,
do I have the stomach to let him dangle?
♪ dramatic music ♪
♪♪
[door closes]
[sighs]
If I had a hat, it would be in hand--
Why? What do you want to discuss?
I wish we didn't have to do this here.
I wish you were a completely different man.
[laughs]
The financial restraining order
blocking you from getting your apartment
was...a bit of an overreach.
But I was merely reacting to--
I know: my releasing the statement.
Which I wouldn't have done
if you hadn't dragged your goddamned feet.
I was having a hard time... accepting our status.
But now I have.
So perhaps a pullback on the order is in line.
Oh, Christ.
You need something.
You're not apologizing, we're horse trading.
Out with it.
[Chuck] That's hardly the way I would characterize this.
Fine.
The kids should know
[Chuck] that family is still important at a time like this.
All family.
Even new family.
I want to formally introduce Kevin and Eva
to Roxanne and Willow.
[laughs]
Come on.
You got to be kidding me.
Was this your whacked-out father's idea?
Wendy.
[chuckles]
He is a changed individual.
You don't even believe that.
You'd be surprised at my current suite of beliefs.
One of them being that there's value in the sanctity of family.
Mm. Sometimes.
I'll lower my guns.
Have the ATRO lifted.
You want to buy an apartment--done.
What would be expected?
[chuckles]
Just that the kids get to know their new relatives...
Oh, and, uh,
that you be there too.
♪ dramatic music ♪
♪♪♪
[sighs heavily]
♪♪♪
[exhales sharply]
♪♪♪
Where are we at? I've been texting.
Oh. It's off.
My phone. I-I turned it.
Are you...drunk?
I was-- [Taylor] I can smell it.
What do retired admirals drink?
Anything they want, and a lot of it.
Did you get into divestment?
Yeah. It's done.
It is? He agreed?
[Hammon] He did-- But how?
Because this candy ass's specialty
is making admirals crumble like rock candy.
But an idea occurred on the way over.
Everything that they're giving up.
We can take the same position
that we are unrolling the endowment from--
get the oil companies to make a deal
to stave off the publicity bloodletting
[Hammon] that will come from the divestment.
And we can do it without implicating the University.
We just have to run the trade through the main house.
It goes against the spirit of the entire thing.
By the rules of engagement in our business
it's the right move.
It's a no. It's not who we are.
Or who I want to be.
[door opens]
[sighs] You know that line from Hamilton--
You know I know 'em all--
"He takes and he takes and he takes."
It's about Alexander.
But it might as well be about our governor.
Oh no.
The money? [Sacker] Yeah.
Best practices for years have been
that the AG gets to use settlement money.
But the governor is claiming the funds I've gathered.
[sighs] So I'm to what, uh,
propose a duel at dawn across the river in Jersey?
Can you? Would that I could.
Is there a workaround?
I drilled down.
Before the funds land with us, and so can be taken from us,
we can designate them.
But I want 'em!
[Sacker] We can designate them to a public good.
Like a law school clinic, earmarked to do certain work,
run by a certain person.
Yale Law.
I get to go home again.
And make it work for us.
You do.
[laughs]
Nice job, Sacker.
When I cut a joint, ya know?
[chuckling] Ohh. I do.
♪ dramatic music ♪
♪♪♪
[woman] Sir? Excuse me!
We know you've been siphoning from athletic donations
to give scholarships to Syrian refugees.
Your board's not gonna like that--
Yeah. And I'm certain the authorities won't either.
Is this your plan? To blackmail me?
Blackmail? Nah. The word is expose.
Expose what?
I'm helping smart kids and their families--
people with next to nothing--
make it in this world.
And I think you'll find a school community here
that supports that.
Mm. Sounds noble, but will they, really?
You clearly underestimate
the empathy of the Skinner family.
These are your so-called "scholarship recipients..."
♪ dramatic music ♪
♪♪
But what it really looks like is cheap labor.
Yeah. They... They have no accommodations
when they get here, so I take them in.
They...help around the house. That's it.
Unpaid illegal immigrants living in your house.
That's not a very good look, Headmaster.
[sighs] Well. I don't care what it looks like.
I'm helping these people.
Well. It looks like 'these people'
are working for you.
And they aren't getting paid for it, are they?
Don't they call that white slavery?
I think they just call it slavery--
This isn't right.
Are you really going to destroy me--
tarnish this historic institution
that's helped thousands of young men and women
and those poor refugees--
to keep your son from being expelled?
Bet your ass I am.
In fact I have.
Isn't that what I just did, Wags?
Yeah. I saw you do it.
Like three seconds ago. Hmm.
So. You are going to clear my son, Gordie,
of any wrongdoing.
But that's not it. Oh. We're not finished.
Not by a long shot.
'Cause you embarrassed him-- dragged him in here,
held him out in front of the school
like a common criminal.
You dinged his reputation.
So now you are going to give me the chance to fix that, too.
♪ Rainbow's "Long Live Rock 'n' Roll" ♪
♪ Alright ♪
♪♪♪
♪ Rock 'n' Roll ♪
Your headmaster was kind enough to cede me the mic
for this morning's lesson,
and I'm here to give you a little bit
about what this school has been holding back from you--
the goddamn truth about Darwin, scarcity
and the world you actually live in.
It's not the warm, swaddled place
your Headmaster and your parents have told you about.
It's populated by people like me
[Axe] who will TEAR YOU APART.
Nature didn't select me.
I selected myself by harnessing my nature.
My son wasn't pulling a prank.
[Axe] He was trying to earn.
And if he broke the school's code,
it's because the code is wrong.
Asked him to go against the DNA
which is telling each of you to be greedy,
yes, be hungry.
[Axe] Subjugate and conquer.
'Cause that's who we are.
That's what we are.
Capitalism harnesses that
better than any other economic model on Earth.
Everything we have is because of capitalism.
'Cause someone had an incentive to get up off his ass,
to out-invent, to out-earn, yes,
and to subjugate others
[Axe] less capable, less intelligent,
[Axe] less ambitious, less lucky--
to make those capitalistic dreams come true.
And you know what I'm talking about, Headmaster Kessel.
[Axe] It's the dirty secret you may not want to hear--
[Axe] but you fucking love the result.
As will you soon enough.
♪ Rainbow's "Long Live Rock 'n' Roll" ♪
[cheers and applause]
♪ Alright ♪
♪ Rock 'n' Roll ♪
♪♪♪
♪ At the end of a dream, if you know where I mean ♪
♪ When the mist just starts to clear ♪
♪ In a similar way, at the end of today ♪
♪ I could feel the sound of writing on the wall ♪
[tapping on glass]
[sighs]
-[knock on door] -[Senior] Courtesy knock!
-[door opens] -Let's get this over with.
[door closes]
The generations.
All under one roof. At last.
♪♪♪
[sighs] Alrighty.
Kids this is your new...
uh, my sister.
[Chuck] Your aunt.
[baby cooing]
She's so small, how can she be my aunt?
[chuckles] Well.
The world can be a funny place, sweetie.
-[Wendy] It can-- -The world is
whatever the hell you make it.
-[chuckles] -[baby cooing]
[Roxanne] Say hi. Hi.
[laughter]
She's adorable...
♪ dramatic music ♪
[Willow] [smooches]
[Roxanne] You want your papa?
♪♪♪
Check is in the mail, Sonny.
Mm.
Check is in the mail.
[chuckles]
[baby cooing]
[Roxanne] Say hi. Hi.
[hand pats]
[cooing continues]
♪♪♪
-[elevator dings] -Sir. Thank you.
-My pleasure. -Wags, great.
Thanks, gentlemen. I'll show you downstairs.
Please.
♪♪♪
[button clicks]
[Victor] Was that...?
Dell Lambert from Argyra Petroleum--
indeed it was.
-And-- -[Wags] Yep,
Cliff Slade from Charter Offshore Oil.
We just assumed big positions
and gave them a nice haircut while doing it.
-Baller move. -A kick-save and a beaut'...
♪ dramatic music ♪
[indistinct conversations]
-[Hammon] You know who that is? -Yes. I do.
Who were they?
Opportunity.
The CEOs of the fucking oil companies
we just divested Lawrenceburg's endowment from.
Axe took on the positions?
Mm. With a back deal
that will pay off handsomely, no doubt.
[Mafee] Sick score...
No one in here seems happy.
How come no one's happy?
I know it was your idea.
But I know you didn't take it to him.
Don't worry, I'm not firing you--
Fire me? I quit. Sara--
That should have been our score and you know it.
But it's... not the right play.
Not right?
We're at work, not a fucking climate rally.
You are only halfway in on this.
And you know where that leaves you?
Vietnam.
George Wagner. My son.
The first and proudest issue of my loins--
is on his way up.
I hope he'll be working here soon.
Treat him like everyone else... But not really.
[elevator dings]
Georgie boy!
Hello, Dad.
It's good to see you.
Can't wait to tell you the news--
the Good News.
♪ soft music ♪
What is this?
It's everything.
It's the whole world. Beyond.
Dad, I've made my personal relationship
with Jesus Christ.
And I'm here to share Him with you.
♪♪♪
So...
[Tanner] I don't want the gig.
Like I told your guy there...
He said to wait and tell you.
It's not about my work, man.
It's about you and Prince.
I don't need to be part of some pissing contest.
There's always a fight over something of value.
Look, you think I really don't know
what makes your stuff so good?
No, I-I heard what you said.
And you wanted it before Prince even got there, so...
But I never painted on commission before
and I don't plan on starting now.
Maybe that works with your stock boys.
But I'm a painter.
I have stock guys.
I want Michelangelo.
[Axe] Who painted on commission, by the way.
Yeah. I know. The Medicis.
Do we like the Sistine Chapel any less
because they paid him to paint it?
No. And Mozart?
[Axe] Did his best work for bags of gold.
Mozart died penniless, at his piano.
Okay. First he enjoyed some Nipples of Venus.
And we're still talking about him 250 years later.
I'm not asking for your soul.
Just your next eight paintings.
♪♪♪
You know, the place does get good light during the day.
Sure does.
Come on, let's sit. Keep talking.
[Chef Ryan] Anthony said to tell you he's sorry--
it's not going to be like in the restaurant--
Yeah, the purist made it clear.
But honestly, it looks pretty damn solid.
Yeah. Sure does.
Thanks, Chef Ryan. You bet.
So, Anthony, my new pizza guy,
he's a lot like you-- a true artist.
All the talent in the world, but still he isn't sure.
He's afraid of coming up short, because he knows perfection.
But, if you stick around, what you'll see is:
I know greatness.
And that's what this is.
Take a bite. Tell me I'm wrong.
♪ mid-tempo music ♪
♪♪
Mmm.
Mmm. Wow.
Fuck.
That's amazing.
You are not wrong.
That's what you'll learn rolling with me.
I'm never wrong...
Almost never...
Really never.
[chuckles] [Axe] Dig in.
To all of it.
You're with me now.
♪ Rainbow's "Long Live Rock 'n' Roll" ♪
♪ Long live rock 'n' roll ♪
♪ Long live rock 'n' roll, yeah ♪
♪ Long live rock 'n' roll ♪
♪ Look here ♪
♪ If you suddenly see what has happened to me ♪
♪ You should spread the word around ♪
♪ And tell everyone here that it's perfectly clear ♪
♪ They can sail above it all on what they've found ♪
♪ It cries for you ♪
♪ It's the best that you can do ♪
♪ Like a sound that's everywhere ♪
♪ I can hear it screaming through the air ♪
♪ Long live rock 'n' roll ♪
♪ Let it live, let it live, let it live ♪
♪ Long live rock 'n' roll ♪
♪ Long live rock 'n' roll, yeah ♪
♪ Long live rock 'n' roll ♪
♪ Banners held high with a curse and cry and it's ♪
♪ Long live rock 'n' roll ♪