Last season on Umbre...
-We're closed. -Are you Mr. Antonio?
-Yes, that's me. -The Captain sent me.
He said he'd bring it himself next time.
See all these people? They're just small fry.
You - that's another thing.
You do your job, keep your head down. You don't brag about it.
-Do you have a family? -No.
Family's good to have, but they're your Achilles heel too,
if you catch my meaning.
Is that yours? When did you get another phone?
So now I need your OK? And when I go pee, then too?!
You've been screwing up lately.
I can't keep doing this, pops.
All I know is, this crew you're mixed up with,
they've always got a crowbar at the ready.
Relu, from here on out, we're keeping a low profile.
If you keep the garbage inside, you'll never get rid of roaches.
Teddy, my son. Take him with you.
Stay here.
Hello, kitty!
-Were you out with that punk? -Which punk?
If you owe me, do I send you to bust your legs?
-Or do I send others? -Owe you what, boss?
-I didn't take any cash! -You didn't bring any either.
I can't do anything with unpaid debt.
I took 28k from you guys and now you're asking for 60.
It's a lot!
He only needled his jugular a bit.
He was in a coma for a couple of days. He's mending now.
That's what makes him the Captain, he always lands on his feet.
Let's run away then.
I'm married with two kids.
Go on, Pop Puiu, we're busy here.
Nighty night, kids!
Pop Puiu made a mess. A big mess.
All in all, 50,250 euro.
You've got until Friday.
Leave Cocos out of this, some guy slashed him in a parking lot.
The Captain did... The Captain!
If you're lying to me, I'll go after your family.
What are you doing here?
Now he knocked her up. What can I say?!
Only that, with all this, we're more than brothers...
We're Siamese twins.
CINEMATOGRAPHY
SET DESIGN
COSTUME DESIGN
EDITING
MUSIC
PRODUCER - HBO EUROPE
PRODUCER - MULTI MEDIA EST
PRODUCER - HBO ROMANIA
EXECUTIVE PRODUCER
WRITTEN BY
DIRECTED BY
Mr. Relster ? Would you care for an entree ?
A cookie ?
We've got smoked salmon, we've got sea fruit...
Mr. Relster, maybe you don't remember, I'm Bebe's son.
Bebe The Gipsy.
You knew each other way back when, you used to go to the Titan gym.
I'm his youngest... Cãlin.
I'm sure you remember me, no way you don't !
Cãlin... Cãlinache, they called me.
Mr. Relster, I just wanted to say...
If you ever need a guy, an errand boy,
now that, you know...
And I can keep a secret. I swear it on my life.
I keep my nose clean, I have a driver's license too.
What do you think ?
-Is that caviar ? -Yes, yes. Fish roe.
Hey, you ! Go on, get ! Let's see the back of you !
Relu, Mister Relu... Relster man !
Congrats on the hitch ! All the best, and so on !
You hit the jackpot, yo ! Yeah, you did.
Not saying you planned it, got your little one
to strut around, all come-hither...
What are you trying to say ?
Just that. Not saying that.
I'm saying congrats, my man.
Now that you're... if you get my drift,
remember who your friends are. Same goes for your enemies.
Hey, didn't you have a son too ?
See, I've got a daughter. A daughter, see ?
Really, I've got three of them. See ?
But this one girl, man, Adela, little Adela,
she's 13 years old, see ?
How old's your kid ? You know, she's got potential.
Only if you're into it. She's wicked smart, you know ?
Went to the Geography Olympics.
She knows every last hill in this country.
In the mountains, and the plains !
What a match that would be, see ? You, me... and the Captain.
Do you see ?
- Let the man go, dear. - Huh ? Three in-laws !
Let him be. You're sloshed to the ears.
So sorry, Mr. Relu...
What a handsome pair they make ! Congratulations !
Thirteen ! Yeah ?
Oh, and by the way...
We've got a daughter too, the same age as your son.
Congratulations, man !
Then I'm left with the honor.
And the pleasure, that comes later...
Just not the lady here, she's one of us...
Aren't you happy ?
I am.
On the inside.
Great. Be happy.
Get happy on the outside too.
What would you have me do ? Bust a move on the tables ?
Bust a move, bust a skull, whatever rocks your boat.
Be happy.
All this is your doing, after all.
Five hours I've been sitting in this chair and not once did you say,
"Let's dance, it's your daughter's wedding."
- May I have this dance ? - No, thanks.
You just said you wanted to, so why won't you ?
Because you didn't ask.
What about ten seconds ago ?
You did what you thought I wanted you to do.
Not what you wanted to do.
- Which means what ? - It means you're lying.
No point crying over it, he got away.
Nothing to do now.
Hey, mister ! Are you busy ?
Hello, I'm here.
When I brought up the threesome, this wasn't what I had in mind.
So now you wanna cut me loose, huh, you bozo ?
On the dance floor.
Not for nothing but, if we did it my way,
you wouldn't be knocked-up.
Who cares I wouldn't be able to walk for two days after, huh ?
You're implying you can do, now ?
I can walk. All over you, if you push it.
- Wanna see ? - That works too.
Listen...
Come on, quit the sweet-talk. It's what got me in this mess.
You laying it on thick, about taking me for a felafel,
catching a movie, and look where we ended up !
For real, are you regretting it ?
That we missed the movie ?
Answer me.
Don't be silly !
Too late.
I don't regret anything.
I love you.
- Are you sure ? - Yes.
- Really ? - Yes.
What a cliché !
A tired old cliché. Cross your heart and hope to die.
Hope to die ?
Do you want me to die ?
Say the word, I'll do it.
- Jesus ! - Say the word, I'll do it !
Traumatic brain injury... time of death...
No, man, I don't want that.
You guys are the coolest people at this wedding.
Honest !
We should've been the only ones invited.
'Cause I'm the coolest here too.
- If you don't treat her right... - Yes ?
I'll steal her off you and we'll run away together.
Are you in ?
Thanks, but I don't swing that way.
Trust me, I outperform your groom here in everything.
Sasha ! Get back here, girl, don't be a hanger-on ! Stop playing !
When I see such love, I'm fit to burst with pheromones.
Honest !
With love, too.
Congratulations !
So then this one... How old was he, hon ? 7, 8, what ?
- Ten, but let's not... - No way ! He wasn't ten, come on !
Ten ? Whatever, ten, OK.
Man, we pumped him full of vitamins. He looked like he needed feeding.
And then he got into everything, every society, every club.
He was even in a stamp collectors' club.
He spoke more languages than I can count,
He did ikebana, origami, no shit, man.
Something like karate.
And one day, he comes to me, says,
'This is it, pop.
'I want to make music.'
Then one day, the missus starts flapping her gums
not the way I wanted, you get my drift...
She goes, 'Let's go to Teddy's school.
They're putting on a show, and he's playing." Okay, I say.
They started 2 hours late, made me lose my cool too.
I wanted to leave, I had stuff to do.
But she said 'Let's wait and see, won't be long now." So, lads...
Suddenly... he comes on.
On the stage, with the orchestra.
With all that band stuff, man.
All of it, man !
And this kid, he was playing the trumpet.
The trumpet !
Lads, really now...
Man, it touched me in my heart of hearts, I swear !
I thought, "Would you look at that ! We have an artist in the family."
You should've seen him blow on that trumpet, man !
Had more oomph than Pop Geamanu when he's eating at the Y.
So I was watching him do his thing,
when I see a puddle forming under him.
While he was playing...
He'd pissed his pants. But he never stopped playing, man.
Hey, kid !
Remember how you pissed your pants that time ?
Come on... He'd waited all that time, he held it in as long as he could.
Right, hon . Did I say otherwise ?!
I went to the principal after.
Mother-fucking ass-wipe, that one, went to rip him a new one.
I laid into him so hard, the guy still doesn't know what hit him.
But after I cooled off, when I stopped seeing red,
I said to myself, 'Hold on a minute ! 'My boy's got mettle.'
Come rain or shine, this kid, he's gonna get the job done.
He won't quit until he sees it through.
He's trustworthy.
Come on, let's toast to trust ! OK ?
Congratulations, Relu, man !
- Congrats ! - Cheers !
I don't see a wedding bang, though.
- Wedding band. - Yes, wedding band.
I don't have it on me now. But I do have one.
There's no shame in it - you know.
No shame in what ?
This.
You and me. No shame in it.
What's so great in there ? Stay out here a while.
Where the...
Oh, man !
Jesus, what a booze hound !
Guzzling down some moolah...
I did time for a woman - my wife.
I loved her so much.
But I never told anyone that.
They'd have all laughed. Made me out to be a sissy.
I didn't even tell her how much I loved her.
- That's a shame. - Yes.
You know the old saying,
'Use it or not, there will come a time when you can't get it up.'
I didn't know that one.
But what's in here, that never shrivels up.
I mean, love.
You take love with you to your grave.
- My shoes are getting too tight. - Yes.
The guys were saying... the kids are off tomorrow...
on their moon... honeymoon... off to Greece...
Yes. Sorry, but I'm dead tired.
I can't keep up with you.
How can you let them go off on their own ?
A road trip, now ?
With the tragedies happening nowadays ?!
And the girl with her little one on the way and...
If it were me, if the people I loved were alive now...
I wouldn't let them leave my side.
I wouldn't let them. How are you fine with them leaving on their own ?
Pop Geamanu...
- You're making me jealous here. - I was...
Relu boy... forgive me !
I didn't mean to... Didn't mean to...
Get a load of that one !
Looks like a Chihuahua, but he's horny as a three-legged tomcat.
- He sent shivers up my spine. - I'm glad they didn't travel down...
You're so crass !
I got them a set of glasses. Crystal.
And there goes your first paycheck.
Oh, you're so funny ! What did you get them ?
Since you're so flush.
Go on, amaze me, slicker !
I got them a card.
Does it at least play a tune when you open it ?
No. It goes silent.
Won't you stay a little longer ? I'll give you two a ride later.
I have to be at work in three hours.
Let me at least drive you guys !
- Where's Chuckie ? - He was asleep.
- You'll keep him tonight, won't you ? - Sure.
Let me drive you !
You drove us here, didn't you ? Where else could you possibly drive us ?
Let me at least give you some cash... Gina !
These wrappers make no sense, it's infuriating.
Give me a hand, will... oh, wait, I got it.
Mister Toma ?
Mister Toma.
About our deal... you can see, my situation has changed.
And I was wondering...
When you have some time, I wonder if we can have a chat.
Find a way to settle things. I have some money put away and...
I know I didn't answer when you called, it's just that...
You can see things have taken...
Who are you, again ?
Relu.
Relu, from the poker game. I work for the Captain.
Relu ? Which Relu ?
Oh, Relu, yes ! I remember you, all right.
You're the father of the bride.
Yes. Congratulations !
May they have a long life together and a large brood !
Congrats. Will you excuse me...
I'm a bit knackered and...
I get cranky at my age...
if I'm not in bed when it's time for beddy-bye.
A pile-up 12 km out of Uzunu.
Three cars were involved, two victims suffered minor wounds.
Traffic is slowed. The road is still viable.
I like this song.
That's 21 Ron.
Sorry, I don't have enough to tip you.
No worries, ma'am, it's not the end of the world.
All right then. Thank you, have a good day !
Now... to be honest, I could use some coffee.
I'm at the end of my shift, you know, been driving all night and...
You know how it is. I can barely keep my eyes open.
A coffee ?
- Couldn't hurt, I reckon. - But coffee will wake you up.
I'd imagine all you wanna do after a sleepless night
is go home to your wife and kids, get some rest.
I can sleep when I'm dead.
You only live once, am I right ? What do you think ?
- I think... I'd love to. - Really ?
-Only I have to warn you, I'm a bit... -What ?
A bit shy ?
- I'm a bit starved. - Are you hungry ?
-Starved for sex. -Oh my !
And I can't be trusted to stay on my side of the table.
These things can spin out, you know. Coffee leads to cake...
A muffin...
And I'm no spring chicken, so I'm a bit desperate.
- You're still fine... - So when I fuck, it's never-ending.
Like there's no tomorrow !
I'll bang my head on the headboard until it smashes through the wall.
You don't need to be anywhere until tomorrow night, right ?
Just closer to your bum.
We live to please, or die trying.
- That's what you wanna hear, right ? - Huh ?
It's what you'd wanna hear, right ?
I can't tip you 5 Ron, so I'll ask you inside ? To settle up, how ?
Didn't you just say you wanted a never-ending fuck ?
It's called irony. Have a good one !
You know what ?
What if I came over there
and washed that mouth out with some irony ?
- Is this car an automatic or a manual ? - Say again ?
- Is this car an automatic or a manual ? - Manual.
- You're gonna have to buy an automatic. - No shit !
When you picked me up, there was a man there who got me in the car.
- He's Relu Oncescu. - So what ? I don't give a crap...
You should give a crap, 'cause he's my husband.
I've just come from a wedding. Our daughter married this boy,
you might know of his dad, The Captain.
Which Captain's that ?
That guy who's in league with the Clan that was on TV for fighting...
I don't know about that, but we could call my husband.
He works for The Captain, he can tell us for sure.
So if you wanna join me in the back, please do.
Only, you'll have to get an automatic afterward,
because you won't be using your legs for a while.
You there !
Hey, you there !
Did you happen to see my husband, Tinel ?
-Sorry ? -My husband, Tinel. Was he outside ?
I don't know, ma'am. Tell me what he looks like.
He's about yay big... and a real kidder.
Sorry. Haven't seen him.
Hey, listen...
He went out for smokes and didn't come back.
How long has he been gone ?
Since 2005. In September.
Listen...
Won't you help me
switch the TV to that folklore music channel ?
I have a remote too.
It's over there.
What number is the folklore channel ?
Try 15.
Is this it ?
No, that's not it.
There we go.
- You found it. - I found it.
This is it. Number 18.
- Thank you, sonny. Thank you. - You're welcome.
Take care now.
Hey, listen !
Have you seen my husband, Tinel ?
Don't worry. Tinel will be here soon.
- Hello, how are you ? - Hi.
- Here to do some business. You ? - Fine, same.
How's the wife ?
- Fine. She's pregnant again. - No shit !
- You don't have an off button. - It's her who keeps asking for it.
Can you give me some ?
You're looking good.
With the jogging I do to keep my ass safe, I should think I'm in shape.
That's how you got that Brazilian bubble butt ?
Oh, don't even ! Nothing beats yours.
Are you that sure nothing beats my ass ?
I did say nothing. Not no one.
Speaking of ass whoopings, how was the wedding ?
Did you stand on the Relster's right ?
Oh, wait ! Relu's with some other broad and they've got rugrats to boot.
What a tragedy !
Boo-hoo, my heart aches.
Right, so tell me. What's the deal ?
Did you bring me a care package ?
Or did you wanna check if I'd started blowing up balls yet ?
- Say, what now ? - Oh, you don't know about that ?
When it's a scorcher out, it can get as hot as 50 degrees in the cells.
Twenty asses, twenty mouths, sucking air in and letting it out.
It gets harder to breathe.
So then the fat cats round up the newbies,
put their mouths here, on the edge of a metal table
and wham !
They smack them over the nape, to bust their teeth.
When all they have is gums, they can't bite down when they're sucking cock.
And when it gets really stuffy, they have the newbies
blow on their nuts, to cool off.
So it's like an AC stand-in, or, as the guys call it - blowing up balls.
So, tell me, Nico.
Did you come to show an interest in my well-being ?
I see you've still got all your teeth, so you're doing fine.
That thing I told you about. There's 5,000 here.
It should be enough to start. After that... we'll see.
So, you land me a 14-month stretch,
and now you have the balls to come here asking to get your whores work inside,
'cause you know I'm tight with the lads.
If that's what you're here for, it was a waste of gas.
No, I came 'cause I heard you're behaving.
- Are you ? - Yeah. I'm behaving.
I brush my teeth before bed, I wash my cock after ramming it up some guy's ass.
Great.
Boss, we're done here.
Yes, I heard you were behaving.
They wouldn't let you out for good behavior otherwise, right ?
No bullshit ?
I have a few more calls to make, but it's as good as done.
See, this is why we get along, Nico.
You're a woman down here. But you're a man up here.
Jesus, there's nothing to eat in your fridge.
I'm making tuna pasta.
I don't like that.
How would you know ? I've never made it before.
Because I don't like pasta.
- And I don't like tuna. - Well I don't like your tone.
- Do you have any cereal ? - Cereal's for girls.
I can have it with beer, to make it manlier.
Hey, can I ask you something ? I hope you won't mind.
Will you please let me get you booze from now on ?
At least I know how to mix them. Which hard liqueur is OK, which isn't.
For instance, if you get rum, or brandy, most of it will be fake.
- What do you mean ? - They're not the real deal.
That's why you toss your cookies after.
Or, if one's been cut with ethanol...
you can even go blind from it.
This guy I know, Paulicã, had that happen to him.
Now he's panhandling downtown.
Unfiltered beer will give you headaches.
The normal kind will make you sick.
Especially if you smoke while you drink it.
I don't smoke.
Really ? Not even weed ?
What the hell man ! You've never had a drag off a doobie ?
- I'm ashamed for you, really. - Give it a rest, man...
Oh, so you only smoke cigars.
Were you snooping through my pockets ?
- It fell when I got you home earlier. - Yeah, sure it did...
Maybe you could be sure, if you weren't hung over.
After drinking yourself stupid last night.
I was just tired.
Go on, leave it all up to me.
I'll even set you up with girls.
What do you say ?
That way you won't catch anything, or get beaten by some pimp.
Do you want me to call you one now ?
I'll call one up. Come on, you're all grown up now, you're a boss.
I don't need your help.
You don't ? OK. Then, take this cash.
Take this. Go on, take it !
Buy whatever you want. Threads, video games...
Stop it with the money ! Mom won't let me have it anyway.
What business is it of hers ? She's just there to cook...
And do the laundry... vacuum...
She's not a cool cat like you, right ?
Take it ! Take it ! Live life to the full !
Better you take it from your pop than swipe it from a stranger, huh ?
Who knows what damage that stranger could do to you ?!
- I didn't steal it from anyone. - Oh, boy...
If on top of everything, you lie too... You're screwed, mate.
Do you at least know how to defend yourself ?
Are you kidding me with this ?!
You steal, you get caught, you lie about it, badly,
and you can't even defend yourself ?!
I'm going home.
You're not going anywhere until you eat what I cooked.
It will help with the hangover.
I'm not hungry. I wanna go home.
Fine. I'll take you.
- Go to hell ! - Chuckie !
Chuckie !
Sure you wanna do that ?
Just one drag.
- I'm stressed. Can't help it. - Why are you stressed ?
It's my first honey moon. I'm nervous.
Didn't you say you'd run off before, with some guy ?
That cool guy.
Your ex-boyfriend.
With the lawyer mom and the surgeon dad...
As if !
What was his name again ?
Rocky. Rocky.
- Rocco ? - You're a moron.
Rocco.
Ricky.
Richard.
Richard the Lionheart.
Tell me, already ! Go ahead.
We ran off for three days. I didn't elope with the guy.
Only because your dad found you.
Trust me, if I'd put my mind to it, he wouldn't have.
I wouldn't be that sure.
Ricky was in so much trouble.
Come to think about it, dad went pretty easy on you.
Maybe he likes you.
Myeah.
I bet that's why he's nice to me.