(CARNIVAL MUSIC PLAYING)
No way, dude. I am not going in there.
They say that's where he is.
Who? The killer clown?
-What, are you scared? -(SCOFFS) Yeah!
What, killer clowns frighten you?
-Sure. -What are you, chicken?
-Yes. -(MIMICKING A CHICKEN)
Is that supposed to sound like something?
What, you need to call your mommy?
It is getting late.
-Dude! -Yeah?
You're ruining this peer pressure thing!
Oh! Peer pressure!
Okay, start over. Take it from the top.
What, are you scared?
Chicken?
No!
Let's just go inside.
Was that better? We can do it again.
-(HAUNTED LAUGHTER) -Wait.
(CLOWN SQUEAKING)
Is this peer pressure?
(BOTH SCREAM)
(EVIL LAUGH)
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
SCOOBY-DOO: Scooby-Dooby-Doo!
Daphne, I have a question for you.
It's actually been on my mind for a while.
Well, sure, Fred. You know, you can ask me anything.
Ah! Good, good! Okay...
Yes, uh, so, my question pertains
to the presence of someone in this very van, as we speak.
Go on.
You really don't see where he's going with this?
Are you referring to Velma?
No, one down, five to go.
It's me, right?
Scoob! We've been found out!
-Quick! Hide the evidence! -On it.
-Get that. -(SHAGGY CHOMPING)
No.
Obviously, I'm talking about the strange small child sitting between us.
Oh, you mean Wayne? Yes, of course.
Duh. Okay, so, what's your question?
Why is there a strange small child sitting between us?
Oh, I told Andrea I'd babysit for her tonight. She has a thing.
Oh, a thing?
Of course, totally understandable.
At the same time, don't we kind of have a thing ourselves?
Solving mysteries?
And that thing, can be pretty dangerous as far as things go.
Isn't it possible bringing a child along on our thing
isn't the wisest thing?
Say "thing" again, Fred. I'm begging you.
We're not solving a mystery at the moment, Fred.
In fact, why don't we take a break from mysteries for the night,
and have some fun?
Wayne knows nothing says fun
like spending time with old Aunty Daphne!
DAPHNE: Look! An amusement park.
That's where we're going.
Wayne, are you ready for fun?
Thing.
FRED: Hmm.
-You are doomed. -(BOTH SCREAM)
Wow! I can see why this place draws such a big crowd.
This is a classic amusement park.
They don't make 'em like this anymore.
-(SHAGGY GASPS) -Shaggy?
Like I guess they don't repair them anymore either.
(CLOWN SQUEAKING)
Where is everyone?
Who cares? No crowds, no lines.
We have the rides all to ourselves.
Right, Wayne?
Like, best of all, there's no one in line at the food stands!
Except you behind me.
What can I get you fellas?
Nothing, thank you. We are professionals.
Yes, please stand back.
(BOTH CHOMPING)
Like, Scoob, the greatest carnival snack of all time.
Imagine some genius saw some cotton and said,
"This should be bright pink and edible!"
Really? Shouldn't everything be?
See the funny man and dog clowning around?
(GIGGLES) Isn't that amusing?
Or at least deserving of some kind of human-like response?
Actually, I wouldn't mention "clowns" too loudly around here.
(SHIVERS) Yes! Agreed.
Clowns are horrifying.
I hate them with every fiber of my being.
Why? Is there a problem, Mister...
Harmon, Loris Harmon.
I'm the proprietor of historic Loony Park.
We've had some trouble recently
which explains why business is not exactly booming.
What kind of trouble?
Please don't say clown trouble,
out of the respect for the fibers of my being.
Well, years ago, a clown called Madcap
went crazy right there in the Fun House.
HARMON: Madcap took the saying,
"Slaying them with laughter," a little too literally, if you know what I mean.
They finally locked him up in the prison for the dangerously comedic.
Rumor has it he's escaped,
-and has returned. -(EVIL LAUGHTER)
Oh, don't worry, Wayne.
It's just make-believe.
Like your Uncle Justin's hair.
That's what I thought, but last night, some folks were attacked by Madcap.
(ALL GASP)
Howdy headley hoody kids.
I'm Oopsy.
Don't worry, Wayne. Clowns eat children last.
I think I read that somewhere.
-(BLOWHORN HONKING) -I'll never know why Momma named me Oopsy.
Whoa! Oopsy-woohoo! Oopsy.
La-la-la Oopsy!
Feet too big, skin too white,
-why? -(OOPSY EXCLAIMING)
(SHAGGY AND SCOOBY-DOO LAUGHING)
Oopsy! Whoa, whoa!
Oopsy!
He's... He's almost hurting himself really badly.
-(BOTH LAUGHING) -His name...
(LAUGHING) ...defines his actions.
(BOTH CACKLING)
Is that your scary clown?
He's even more horrific than I imagined.
No, that's not Madcap, that's Oopsy.
You told them about him?
Clowns exist to spread cheer, not fear.
A true clown would never do what he does.
A true clown abides by the sacred cardinal code of clowndom.
Loony Park has been a part of the city for almost 100 years.
I can't believe I'm gonna lose it because clown laws have been broken.
Don't worry, Mr. Harmon.
We'll get to the bottom of this and save the amusement park.
Well, I don't know how you plan to do that.
But, in the meantime, enjoy the park while you can.
Just stay far away from the Fun House.
It's not in operation.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some business to attend to.
Ignore the silly man, Wayne.
Let's take off and ride the roller coaster!
I'll come with you. While I have no great love for roller coasters,
clowns are worse.
Well, Shaggy and Scooby,
I guess that's more mystery for us to solve.
Nah, we're cool. You can have the whole thing to yourself.
SCOOBY-DOO: Have fun!
But the first step is splitting up to look for clues.
Doesn't anyone care about protocol anymore?
(SCREAMING) One person can't split up.
Guys!
(BOTH LAUGHING)
Like, my sides ache from laughing.
Remember that part when Oopsy almost fell,
but then he didn't?
Yeah! New catastrophic injuries.
Hilarious! (LAUGHING)
Scoob! Look!
You know that reoccurring dream you have
about squirting water on to someone wearing heavy pancake makeup,
until their hat explodes?
That's a real thing?
Yes! (LAUGHING)
Locked and loaded. Ready, aim, fire!
(BOTH LAUGHING)
(EVIL LAUGHTER)
(BOTH GASP)
-(EXCLAIMS) -(EVIL LAUGHTER)
BOTH: Madcap, the killer clown!
(EVIL LAUGHTER)
Like, someone sent in the wrong clown!
Send them back!
-(MADCAP GRUNTS) -Run!
(BOTH EXCLAIMING)
Hey, we're in luck!
Getaway cars!
(EVIL LAUGHTER)
Zoinks!
(BOTH EXCLAIM)
-(EVIL LAUGHTER) -(EXCLAIMING)
Getaway cars are useless when there's no away in which to get.
(BOTH SCREAM)
(BOTH PANTING)
-(BOTH GASP) -(EVIL LAUGHTER)
(BOTH SCREAMING)
(SCREAMING)
(EVIL LAUGHTER)
Step right up. You are just in time.
I, the great Balloonioonio, shall amaze you with the ancient art
of balloon animals.
Hmm?
With the help of my assistant,
Scoobiana.
Like, see, you can't beat inflation.
(GRUNTS)
Sorry, you are right.
Politics have no place in balloon animalry.
Voila! A meerkat.
An orangutan.
A space shuttle. A manatee.
A fruit bat with stomach flu.
A twisted balloon.
An evil clown. The signing of the Magna Carta.
(INDISTINCT TALKING)
And finally, the big finish. (LAUGHS)
Ta-da!
(GROWLS)
Huh?
(SCREAMS)
This isn't so bad, solving a mystery on my own.
Hmm.
Light it up.
Ha, at least I follow my own orders.
(RAT SQUEAKING)
Madcap. What a big shoe size you have.
(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)
(GASPS)
(SCREAMS)
What are you doing here?
Nothing. Sorry.
(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY) I thought you were a scary clown, but...
Not that you looked like a scary clown because of your makeup.
It's just... No, I, uh, mean once that I got a good look at you...
What are you doing here?
Checking out a potential investment.
(FRED READING)
Yeah. I'm interested in buying this dilapidated old park
despite this killer clown business.
It's a shame when a festively-attired menace drives down property values.
Not such a shame for the buyer.
(CHUCKLES) I see you are a bit of a festively-attired menace yourself.
-Well... -Let me give you some friendly advice.
-(GRUNTS) -Watch your step.
There's dry rot everywhere.
A fella could take a bad tumble.
-(BODY THUDS) -(BELLE SCREAMS)
I'm okay.
Can we pretend that last part didn't happen
and I left on that cooler line?
On the ambiguously veiled threat?
Yeah, that part.
"Fella could take a tumble." Blah, blah, blah.
(SIGHS) Fine!
-Thanks. (SCREAMS) -(BODY THUDS)
Oh.
DAPHNE: Whee!
This is fun. Huh, Wayne?
Is it me? What am I doing wrong?
You're asking the wrong person.
When I was five, I was intellectually, emotionally and socially 52.
They did tests.
I've always been 52.
Weird.
(EVIL LAUGHTER)
(SCREAMING)
That was him, Madcap.
There's an evil clown ready to get us when we go back down.
Really? Nothing?
(GRUNTS)
(DAPHNE GASPS)
(MADCAP LAUGHING MANIACALLY)
I was wrong. He's coming up to get us.
Can't this thing go any faster?
Oh, no.
-Like, Fred, we saw him! -I know.
FRED: Madcap.
-Zoinks! -Come on!
(MADCAP LAUGHING MANIACALLY)
(NERVOUSLY) ♪ La la la la la
♪ La la everything's okay ♪
Keep making with the La-las.
-(LAUGHING MANIACALLY) -(DAPHNE CONTINUES SINGING)
(LAUGHING MANICALLY)
Like, what are we gonna do?
(DAPHNE WHIMPERING)
-Huh? -Huh?
(BOTH SCREAM)
(GRUNTS)
(BOTH SCREAM)
(LAUGHING MANICALLY)
Oh, no.
(SCREAMING)
(GASPS)
(DAPHNE AND VELMA SCREAMING)
(MADCAP CONTINUES LAUGHING)
(ALL SCREAMING)
(SCREAMING CONTINUES)
(GRUNTS)
-(MADCAP LAUGHING MANIACALLY) -(BOTH GASP)
(SCREAMING AND GRUNTING)
(SCREAMS)
You couldn't just let tonight be about Wayne and fun, could you?
He doesn't seem to be having a bad time.
Or a good time. Or here.
(SNAPS FINGERS)
Can we all at least agree on the horror of clowns?
Like, it was only one bad clown, Velma.
You can't let that ruin your appreciation
for the fine comedic art of clownery.
Their flowers squirt water.
(SIGHS) I guess you're right, Daphne.
We didn't solve the mystery and I guess that's the end of Loony Park.
-Oh, no you don't. -Huh?
We may not have been able to show Wayne a good time.
I think.
But we are certainly not going to show him giving up.
This boy right here, Wayne, represents the future.
Really?
Wow. Game over.
For the sake of the future of the world,
we have to stop a clown.
Stopping clowns is good. Go on.
We've been all over this park
and Madcap keeps getting the drop on us.
It's time we got the drop on him.
Daphne's right. The Fun House.
The one place we haven't been.
The one place Madcap would never think we'd be crazy enough to go.
Well, he'd be right.
No, Scooby. We're going in.
And the clown is going down.
Yes. Good plan, guys.
But, it's too dangerous to bring Wayne in there.
So, uh, why don't I keep an eye on him out here?
Thank you, Velma.
We do what we have to.
Well played, Velma.
Thanks, Scooby. I learned from the best.
(NERVOUSLY) This could be it, Scoob.
(GULPS) Yeah? Our last laugh.
(MADCAP CHUCKLES)
(RAGTIME MUSIC PLAYING)
(ALL GASP)
(SHIVERS) Now, that's unsettling.
Like, wow.
I'm sure glad we don't look like that.
(MADCAP CHUCKLES)
See, Wayne. Aren't you glad one of us grown-ups
stayed out here to protect you?
Yeah.
Creepy old park, killer clown on the loose.
I'm clearly doing the right thing.
You understand.
It's not as though I'm hiding from anything
or shirking responsibility.
Letting my friends walk into harm's way without my help.
(MANIACAL LAUGHTER)
(ALL WHIMPERING)
(WOOD CREAKING)
(SHAGGY WHIMPERING)
Hmm.
(SCREAMS)
-(MADCAP GRUNTS) -(SCREAMING)
(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)
VELMA: Let's say, for sake of argument, Wayne, that you are correct.
That I merely used hanging back to protect you
as a ploy to avoid entering the Fun House
and inevitably, confronting my fear of clowns.
(YAWNS)
Even so.
What do I have to prove by joining in?
I'm sure the rest of the gang has things well in hand.
(SCREAMS)
(LAUGHS MANIACALLY)
Who actually likes clowns anyway?
The first time I encountered one, I was about your age.
White skin, red lips, polka dot jumpsuit.
(SHUDDERS)
Couldn't sleep for weeks.
You know, Wayne, you're a really good listener.
(ALL GASP)
(LAUGHING MANICALLY)
If unfunny people do nothing in the face of evil funny people, Wayne,
then evil funny people win.
And I, Velma Dinkley, am the unfunniest of them all.
It's time, Wayne. I'm going in. Huh?
(SCREAMING)
(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)
(SCREAMS)
Wow! Velma saved us.
You did it. You caught this fiend clown.
Actually, this clown is really...
This clown?
Oopsy?
Oopsy.
Yes. Oopsy, the clown.
-The motive is sim... -Oh, for crying out loud.
It's really obvious what happened.
(ALL GASP)
Duh. I mean any fool could see the motive.
Loony Park was Oopsy's dream job.
But Oopsy lured his boss, Loris Harmon,
wanted to sell the boardwalk rather than sink money into a massive renovation.
(SCOFFS) I mean, Oopsy knew
everyone would stay out of the Fun House due to the legend of Madcap
as well as its dilapidated state.
He used it as his base of operations to moonlight as Madcap.
(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)
He hoped to scare off developers
by making the legend of Madcap a reality.
Blahvity-blah.
It was also obvious to everyone, except these five dopes,
Madcap was trained in the clowning arts.
Physicality and acrobatics that Madcap displayed
couldn't have been accomplished by a layman.
But true to his lame name, Oopsy's lame plan backfired,
driving the price of the already struggling operation even lower,
motivating an already nervous Harmon to cut his losses and sell
before he lost his shirt.
Then that real estate lady, Clara Belle,
seized the moment, sealed the deal just earlier tonight.
Shh. Drop mic.
Gee, thanks a lot.
I said "Oopsy."
And I would have gotten away with it too,
hilariously, I might add,
if it wasn't for you meddling kids.
Enough blather. Officers, take him away.
I'm not exactly sure what to charge him with, Mr. Harmon.
He's a clown dressed as another clown.
But he's a scary bad clown.
All clowns are scary and bad.
I think that's firmly established by this time.
The lady has a point.
-(SIRENS WAILING) -I got the willies just looking at him.
Oh, no. The clown police.
Oopsy, the clown, you're under arrest for several violations
of the sacred cardinal code of clowndom.
You have the right to remain silent
should you choose to be tried as a mime.
Uh, what just happened?