(DRUMBEATS)
-(BLOWS) Testing, testing. -(FEEDBACK)
(BASS STRUMMING)
-(GUITAR STRUMMING) -Testing, testing.
-(FEEDBACK) -Thanks, Gus.
All right, guys. Let's run through a song, so we can get a mix.
Okay, let's play, I hate Andy, The Bass Player In My Band
in F-sharp.
One-two, one-two-three...
-(LOUD CLATTER) -Whoa!
Ow! (YELLING)
Ah! Oh! Argh!
Huh?
You did that on purpose.
Jeff loosened my drum kit screws.
I did not!
This isn't working.
Ugh! All right, you guys. I'm tired of dealing with amateurs
who can't get their act together.
I just... Argh!
All right, band meeting.
(SPOOKY WAILING)
(WAILING GETTING LOUDER)
Ow! What is that?
First order of business, run from that!
Agreed!
(ALL SCREAMING)
(SCREECHING)
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
(ROARING)
SCOOBY-DOO: Scooby Dooby Do!
(TIRES SQUEALING)
SHAGGY: Whoa! SCOOBY-DOO: Whoa!
FRED: Time? VELMA: 9:54.
-VELMA: Left turn coming up. -Got it.
Hey, can we stop for breakfast?
Good idea.
No time to stop. We've gotta get tickets for Bones Malone.
I just know they're gonna sell out fast.
Hard right up here, Fred.
-Got it. -(TIRES SCREECH)
SHAGGY: (SCREAMING) Whoa!
(GASPS)
(TIRES SCREECHING)
Hold on!
(ALL EXCLAIMING)
(ALL SCREAMING)
(GASPS)
(SCREAMING)
(GROANING)
Huh?
And crossbows.
Scoob, next right, up here!
Roger that.
Sold out?
It's 10:03.
It sold out in three minutes!
Actually, it sold out in 43 seconds.
I'm Bond Kuro, owner of the Star Music Hall.
Unfortunately, it looks like the whole show might be canceled.
Why?
(SIGHS) Some say the theater's haunted.
The opening act got spooked and ran off.
Sounds like a mystery.
Okay, like, can the next place we go not be haunted?
I mean, can we manage that once, people? Once!
Good luck with that.
Without the money from the charity to bring the theater up to code,
the Star will be demolished.
How? As long as long as Bones Malone plays, you'll be fine.
That's just it. His people are very protective.
When they find out there's problems, they'll pull out.
-(CAR APPROACHING) -Oh, no. It's him.
DAPHNE: Who's that?
BOND: Jasper Crawl.
He's Malone's manager. Total nightmare.
What's going on?
I heard the opening band quit. Is there a problem?
-Um. -Of course not.
We were just saying, my band will play instead.
Hmm, what're you guys called?
Um... Mmm... Mmm-hmm.
Hmm.
No.
Not that one.
Mystery Machine.
Oh. Um, yeah.
(STUTTERS) They're awesome.
Mystery Machine, huh? I like it.
Okay, we're gonna bring Malone in now.
You know the rules. No eye contact.
If you must speak to him while he's outside,
it has to be in a high-pitched squeaky voice.
(IN SQUEAKY VOICE) Like this.
Finally, Malone thinks panthers are bad luck, so no panthers anywhere.
I see panther one and we're gone. No discussion.
Are we clear?
Of course.
Okay. Bring him in.
-(IN SQUEAKY VOICE) I'm a big fan! -Love your music!
That's a high quality tarp!
Are you a steakhouse?
Oh, you won't find any panthers around here. (GULPS)
Thank you. I had no idea you guys were a band. That's so strange.
Uh, like I said, we're a really new band.
Great. Well, the other band left their gear onstage, if you wanna rehearse.
Okay, I don't even know where to start in analyzing
the crazy in what you just did, Fred.
Hey, I got us in.
Don't worry. Just focus on the mystery, Velma.
Like I said, there's no way we'll ever have to get up onstage.
I need you up onstage for a sound check.
Hmph!
Okay, Mr. Rock 'n' Roll, what now?
Relax, Velma.
We'll bluff our way through the sound check and get to solving the mystery.
(PLAYING RIFF)
Huh?
Like, what, aren't you guys musicians, too?
I thought I was the lead guitarist in our band.
Why else do we drive around in a van everywhere?
Right, Scoob?
(BASS STRUMMING)
Scooby do bass, baby.
(KEYBOARD PLAYING)
I took ten years of piano lessons.
(DRUM BEATS)
I'd like to play drums, but they're probably really hard.
Hard? Fred, the job of the drummer is to be the engine.
The machine that controls everything onstage and keeps perfect time.
It's the foundation of the entire band.
(BLUES BEAT)
I feel alive for the first time in my entire life.
Well, that's great.
I don't play any instruments, and even if I did, there aren't any left.
Um... Mmm-mmm.
Uh, ahem.
-Ahem. -Ahem.
(SQUEAKY VOICE) Hello.
Oh, no. No way.
Come on, Velma, I've seen you give lectures at colleges before.
Lead singer is the same thing as lecturer,
only it's melodic and the topic is "shaking your thang".
Hey, I categorically deny having a thang.
Seriously, you guys haven't decided
what instruments you're playing?
Why don't you come grab me when you get your act together, huh?
Call yourselves musicians! How much longer do I have to put up with this?
Come on, Velma, you're gonna blow this.
(SIGHS LOUDLY)
(OMINOUS PIANO TEMPO)
Daphne!
Oops, sorry.
-(EXHALING) -(SPOOKY WAILING)
(SCREECHING)
(ALL SHOUTING)
(SNARLING)
-(SNARLING) -(SHRIEKING)
(SCOOBY-DOO WHIMPERING)
(GHOST WAILING EERILY)
(BOTH PANTING)
I think we lost her, Scoob.
Like, it was all Fred's idea!
He's the one that told us to play on your stage!
Yeah, it was Fred.
He made us do it! Like, devour his soul, not ours!
Take Fred!
(BOTH WHIMPERING)
Hmm?
(RELIEVED LAUGHTER)
Oh, um, hoo-hoo!
It's you, Fred.
-Oops. -(SHAGGY CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
Like, we thought you were the ghost and so we were just using you as a scapegoat.
Like, blaming you in an attempt to save ourselves.
While she attacks you.
SHAGGY: Right, see, during which we'd escape.
Yes, I get it, thank you.
Basically, we were throwing you under the proverbial bus.
Understood. Can we please move on, now?
Okay, Mr. Moody.
Sheesh.
Well, while you two were sacrificing Fred to the horrible wraith,
we did a little research on this theater.
Fortunately, it's everywhere.
Everyone who's ever performed here.
A hundred years of history on the walls.
Meet Cassandra Tilden.
Known to the world as the Prima Donna.
Tilden was considered the greatest singer the world had ever known.
It is said she could shatter a diamond at will.
But the fame went to her head.
She began making unreasonable demands.
Claiming no other act should ever perform on the same stage on which she sang.
(AUDIENCE SCREAMING)
To this day, they say the great Prima Donna haunts this theater.
Terrorizing any fool that dares perform on her stage.
Why would the Prima Donna try to stop the charity show?
If the theater gets demolished, there goes her precious stage.
That's a good question.
And we don't have much time to find answers.
Let's split up. Daphne, Velma and I will go talk to Bond
and see who might want the theater demolished.
Shaggy and Scooby, try and talk to some of the other musicians.
Like, sure.
Oh. And Fred, about the whole "Encouraging the ghost to harm you" thing,
you do understand it was only so we could save our own skins
while she was busy tearing you to pieces
based on false information we gave her?
Right?
Right, Shaggy.
It really couldn't be more clear.
So, we're good?
Less so with each passing second.
I'm so glad you guys are okay.
I appreciate you're still willing to play.
Well, clearly, this theater means a lot...
-(PUNCTURING SOUND) -Oof!
-(AIR FIZZING) -Oh.
Is there... Is there... Is there anyone who would...
Is there anyone who would benefit from...
...having the Star closed down?
Hmm. No one I can think of.
I'm curious though...
Hmm.
Gah!
Why a charity in the first place?
Is business not good enough to finance the repairs yourself?
Honestly, no. I mean, it's cool that we give artists a shot,
but new acts don't really bring in the big bucks.
And actually, a lot of them aren't very good.
Hello, we're Sandy And The Bear.
We're gonna sing a song for you tonight.
Take it, Sandy!
(ROARING AND GROWLING)
(CROWD SCREAMING)
You've heard of Air-guitar.
Meet Stan, the Air-Piano man.
Argh!
MAN: Ladies and gentlemen, put your hands together
for Kyle, the hovering balladeer
♪ Well, I... ♪
-Oh! -(MAN CACKLING)
I dropped my guitar.
He just dangled there for eight more hours,
until they could get the flight rig down again.
(SIGHS)
Hey, it's almost time for Malone's sound check. Wanna listen in?
-Are you sure he won't mind? -(FRED GROANS)
-Nah, just sit in the back. -Great!
What are you guys doing?
Oh, come on, Velma.
It's a quick sound check.
I just wanna take a peek.
-Uh! -We don't have time for this.
If we don't solve this mystery before the concert,
we'll actually have to perform onstage.
(MOURNFUL PIANO MUSIC PLAYING)
Sorry.
I just saw this keyboard sitting here and, uh...
I'll stop now.
(ANGELIC CHOIR SINGING)
-Huh? -Huh?
-Hmm. -Hmm.
(ANGELIC CHOIR SINGING)
(GASPS)
(BOTH DROOLING)
-Huh? Oof! -Huh?
-Hmm? -Hmm?
-Hmm. -Hmm.
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
Yeah, panther control here. Like, we heard there's a possible, uh,
panther infestation.
Third call today.
Yeah, I doubt your boss'd be too happy
if he knew you'd allowed a bunch of panthers
to run all willy-nilly up in his business.
It's what they do.
See, there's your problem right here.
Panthers are attracted to finger foods. Cold cuts, chips and salsa.
They'll come from miles.
Like, we gotta get rid of all this stuff and do a sweep of the room.
You, uh, you want to give us a little room to work here, fellas.
(GULPING)
-(SNARLING) -(SCREAMS) Panther!
What are you guys doing in here?
Zoinks! It's Bones Malone!
(IN SQUEAKY VOICE) I mean, it's Bones Malone!
(IN SQUEAKY VOICE) I'm sorry.
Why does everybody keep talking to me like that?
But, we thought...
Your manager said...
Oh, of course. Jasper.
Man, that guy keeps making up all this crazy stuff about me.
Makes me seem like some genius, artistic recluse.
It's driving me nuts.
He even makes me sing through this voice modulation microphone
to correct my pitch.
'Cause he thinks my voice isn't strong enough.
Like, that's awful.
Yeah, I'm a singer.
I wanna get onstage and perform for real.
Like, you're Bones Malone.
You can do whatever you want.
Yeah, I can, can't I?
Like, nothing could stop you now.
(PANTHER GROWLING)
Ah!
You have to sing the songs we agreed on.
I'm sick of those songs.
Fine, don't listen to me.
I'm only the one who got you to where you are.
Here you go, Mr. Malone.
(GUITAR STRUMMING)
Hey, guys, you can move up closer if you want.
Thanks, Mr. Malone.
Uh, please, call me Bones.
I wanna play a new song inspired by two new friends I just met.
(SHAGGY CLICKS TONGUE)
(UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
♪ You ought to know
♪ The blow by blow
♪ The puppet takes the scissors to his strings
♪ If I refuse to move, will the ghost fly past me?
♪ Kill the lie today 'cause either way I'll be outcast
♪ You got your dirt in my brain
♪ I'll wash my hands of you and let it all go down the drain
♪ You gotta be yourself
♪ And you got big shoes to fill
♪ I gotta be myself
♪ Because, who else will?
♪ You gotta be yourself
♪ I gotta be myself
(SCREECHING)
♪ If I refuse to move, will the ghost fly past me?
♪ Kill the lie today 'cause either way I'll be outcast
♪ You got your dirt in my brain
♪ I'll wash my hands of you and let it all go down the drain
♪ You gotta be yourself
♪ And you got big shoes to fill
♪ I gotta be myself
♪ Because, who else will?
♪ Escape today
♪ To run away
♪ Got to put your foot down
♪ Over and over again
♪ You gotta be yourself
♪ And you got big shoes to fill
♪ I gotta be myself
♪ Because, who else will? ♪
(SCREECHES)
(MUSIC ENDS)
I'm sorry we didn't solve this mystery in time, gang.
This is all my fault. Ah!
Uh-uh-uh. Oof!
(GROANS)
Like, what's this?
Hmm, suspicious paper.
Scooby is right.
This is a contract between Bones Malone and Bond Kuro.
Bones must be planning to fire Jasper to make Bond his new manager.
All right, gang, I think I've got a plan.
But, Velma?
I know, I know. It's time for Mystery Machine to take the stage.
(MOURNFUL TUBA TUNE)
This was also backstage.
I'll just leave it here, though.
(CROWD CHEERING)
Hello. Thanks, everyone, for coming out tonight
to help save the Star Music Hall.
I wanna introduce a new band making their first-ever appearance at the Star.
Mystery Machine!
-(CROWD ROARING) -(ENGINE REVVING)
(PLAYING GUITAR RIFF)
(BASS STRUMMING)
(DRUM BEAT PLAYING)
(KEYBOARD PLAYING)
(CROWD CHEERING)
(EERIE WAILING)
(CONTINUES WAILING)
(SHRIEKING)
(GASPING)
Now, Scooby!
(SHRIEKING)
Whoa!
Oh!
(WAILING)
(WHIMPERING)
Whoa!
(HAUNTING KEYBOARD TUNE)
(GRUNTS)
(MUSIC STOPS)
(CROWD CHEERING)
(SNARLING)
Thank you. Now, let's see who is behind this mystery.
(STRUGGLING)
(FABRIC RIPPING)
ALL: Jasper Crawl?
That's right.
-Jasper Crawl felt he created Bones Malone... -(CROWD BOOING)
WOMAN: Boring!
...and started to believe that he was really the star...
MAN: Sing it!
(GUITAR STRUMMING)
♪ As the manager of Bones Malone
♪ Jasper Crawl had complete control
♪ Of which Bones had gotten really tired
♪ When Jasper found out he was gonna be fired
♪ Thought he'd ruin Bones' comeback with the Prima Donna
♪ There's more I could say, but I don't really wanna
Come on! How'd he do it?
Tell them, Velma.
Yeah, entertain us in an informative way.
Really? Well, okay.
♪ Shaggy's in the dressing room
♪ He and Scoob found the first big clue
♪ A high-tech wireless microphone
♪ That alters someone's pitch, frequency and tone
♪ And that produced the shriek for which the Prima Donna is well known
(SHRIEKING)
♪ This is how we solved the mystery
♪ We noticed when the ghost appeared
♪ She flew around instilling fear
♪ Exactly how she did was still unclear
♪ Until we saw the broken flight rig of the Balladeer
♪ His name is Kyle
-CROWD: Kyle! -VELMA: Kyle!
(LAUGHING)
♪ The hovering balladeer
Kyle!
♪ Everybody, cheer
♪ This is how we solved the mystery
♪ So, in summation, this narration is my donation
♪ To the art of mystery-solving dictation
♪ And here's what the bad guys say when they play where the law forbids
♪ Would've gotten away with it, too, if it wasn't for you meddling kids
(SINGS OFF-TUNE) ♪ This is how we solved the mystery ♪
Bye.
(MICROPHONE FEEDBACK)
(CROWD CHEERING)