1 00:00:01,067 --> 00:00:02,400 Previously on "Wrecked"... 2 00:00:02,433 --> 00:00:04,067 The Barracuda: You'll come by my tent every night. 3 00:00:04,100 --> 00:00:05,400 What's in it for me? 4 00:00:05,433 --> 00:00:07,200 I'm kidding. Obviously, sex, isn't it? 5 00:00:07,233 --> 00:00:09,367 Oh, and I'm pregnant. And you're the father. 6 00:00:09,400 --> 00:00:11,033 Obviously, there's no way that she's pregnant. 7 00:00:11,067 --> 00:00:12,367 Okay. What do you need me to do? 8 00:00:12,400 --> 00:00:13,867 Just one more big push, Rosa. 9 00:00:13,900 --> 00:00:15,067 Okay. You can do it. 10 00:00:15,100 --> 00:00:16,667 Oh, my! [ Gasps ] 11 00:00:16,700 --> 00:00:17,867 It's a baby! 12 00:00:17,900 --> 00:00:19,700 Bye. 13 00:00:19,733 --> 00:00:20,900 ** 14 00:00:20,933 --> 00:00:22,533 Oh, my goodness! Oh! 15 00:00:22,567 --> 00:00:24,400 We did it! Oh, my God! 16 00:00:24,433 --> 00:00:26,733 [ Laughs ] [ Laughing ] Oh! 17 00:00:26,767 --> 00:00:28,200 [ Sighs ] 18 00:00:28,233 --> 00:00:30,467 You did it. 19 00:00:30,500 --> 00:00:32,967 Okay, you're a good doctor, Dr. Florence. 20 00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:34,700 No, I'm not. 21 00:00:34,733 --> 00:00:36,633 I'm a bad doctor. 22 00:00:36,667 --> 00:00:40,167 What? I'm a naughty doctor. 23 00:00:40,200 --> 00:00:41,533 ** 24 00:00:41,567 --> 00:00:43,633 What are you gonna do about it? 25 00:00:43,667 --> 00:00:45,733 What do I want to do about it? Yeah. 26 00:00:45,767 --> 00:00:50,067 ** 27 00:00:50,100 --> 00:00:52,633 [ Seagulls calling ] 28 00:00:52,667 --> 00:00:53,900 Ahh! 29 00:00:54,867 --> 00:00:56,133 Jesus, Karen! 30 00:00:56,167 --> 00:00:57,700 The pirates returned our luggage. 31 00:00:58,500 --> 00:01:00,100 Also, you have a boner. 32 00:01:01,267 --> 00:01:04,200 Come on! 33 00:01:04,233 --> 00:01:06,033 ** 34 00:01:06,067 --> 00:01:07,500 Well, all my jewelry's gone, 35 00:01:07,533 --> 00:01:09,167 but it's not a total bust, 36 00:01:09,200 --> 00:01:11,833 because they left me with... a single Q-tip. 37 00:01:11,867 --> 00:01:13,133 Oh, God damn it! 38 00:01:13,167 --> 00:01:14,633 The cut all the nipples out of my shirts! 39 00:01:14,667 --> 00:01:15,633 [ Chuckles ] 40 00:01:15,667 --> 00:01:17,533 Hey, I cut the titties out! 41 00:01:17,567 --> 00:01:18,900 [ Laughs ] 42 00:01:18,933 --> 00:01:20,467 What's up, dawg? 43 00:01:20,500 --> 00:01:21,533 I mean, I think that's a good look. 44 00:01:21,567 --> 00:01:22,733 Really? Oh, yeah. 45 00:01:22,767 --> 00:01:24,400 You think that this is a good look. 46 00:01:24,433 --> 00:01:26,067 Oh, yeah. You could pull that off. 47 00:01:26,100 --> 00:01:27,533 I'm glad they stole your jewelry. 48 00:01:27,567 --> 00:01:29,233 What is happening over there? 49 00:01:29,267 --> 00:01:30,467 Are they flirting? 50 00:01:30,500 --> 00:01:32,833 [ Laughs ] What the hell -- Mario? 51 00:01:32,867 --> 00:01:34,367 Florence: It's gonna be painful. Mm-hmm. 52 00:01:34,400 --> 00:01:35,867 Aw, pbht! Check me, I'll figure it out. 53 00:01:35,900 --> 00:01:37,033 Hey! 54 00:01:37,067 --> 00:01:38,367 Hey! 55 00:01:38,400 --> 00:01:40,300 Are you friends flirting? 56 00:01:40,333 --> 00:01:41,500 What?! What?! 57 00:01:41,533 --> 00:01:43,367 Flirting -- We're not flirting. 58 00:01:43,400 --> 00:01:46,167 We're talking. Oh, my God. You're flirting! 59 00:01:46,200 --> 00:01:49,300 Oh. Turns out I was flirting. 60 00:01:49,333 --> 00:01:50,833 Oh, what? 61 00:01:50,867 --> 00:01:52,167 Yes! [ Laughs ] 62 00:01:52,200 --> 00:01:53,867 Babe, they didn't take 63 00:01:53,900 --> 00:01:56,067 my Roger by Roger Federer sweatbands. 64 00:01:56,100 --> 00:01:57,700 Suckers were sitting on a gold mine, 65 00:01:57,733 --> 00:01:59,000 didn't even know it. 66 00:01:59,033 --> 00:02:00,333 I don't get it. 67 00:02:00,367 --> 00:02:02,967 Why would they give us our stuff back now? 68 00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:06,233 Who cares? They must be leaving. 69 00:02:06,267 --> 00:02:08,067 Good riddance. Pirate rule is horse shit. 70 00:02:08,100 --> 00:02:10,633 Todd, these pirates are our last chance to get off the island. 71 00:02:10,667 --> 00:02:13,167 If that boat leaves, we die here. 72 00:02:13,200 --> 00:02:15,167 But I don't want to die here. 73 00:02:15,200 --> 00:02:17,067 I want to die in Scottsdale. 74 00:02:17,100 --> 00:02:18,333 We all do. 75 00:02:18,367 --> 00:02:19,533 That's why we got to get on that boat. 76 00:02:19,567 --> 00:02:21,800 How? We got nothing to offer. 77 00:02:21,833 --> 00:02:25,400 Th-There is one thing. 78 00:02:25,433 --> 00:02:27,333 [ Dramatic music plays ] 79 00:02:27,367 --> 00:02:29,700 I don't know. I really like these sweatbands. 80 00:02:29,733 --> 00:02:32,600 I got to bang one of these pirates. What?! 81 00:02:35,433 --> 00:02:38,333 There is no way I'm gonna let one of these scum sacks 82 00:02:38,367 --> 00:02:40,500 anywhere near your smokin'-hot boobies and butt. 83 00:02:40,533 --> 00:02:42,200 Okay, you think I want to do this? 84 00:02:42,233 --> 00:02:43,633 Yeah. This is the only way. 85 00:02:43,667 --> 00:02:45,967 In exchange for sex, we ask for two spots on the ship. 86 00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:50,167 It's a classic reverse indecent proposal. Reverse indecent proposal. 87 00:02:50,200 --> 00:02:51,367 Exactly. Hell, no. 88 00:02:51,400 --> 00:02:53,200 No, no, no, no, no, no, hell, no. 89 00:02:53,233 --> 00:02:54,967 I just made peace with you and Chet. 90 00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:58,233 I don't think I could handle you boning down with a pirate. 91 00:02:58,267 --> 00:03:00,533 Plus, what makes you think one of these pud-knockers 92 00:03:00,567 --> 00:03:02,500 would even go for it? 93 00:03:02,533 --> 00:03:05,200 Well, Tank Top's been flirting with me. What!? 94 00:03:05,233 --> 00:03:07,700 Yeah. He's, like, totally into me. It's so obvious. Come on. 95 00:03:07,733 --> 00:03:09,200 All I'm saying is that if we offer, 96 00:03:09,233 --> 00:03:11,000 I know he'll say yes. 97 00:03:11,033 --> 00:03:13,467 Except he won't be able to, 'cause I'm gonna murder him by killing him. 98 00:03:13,500 --> 00:03:15,033 Oh, my God. Todd, listen to me. Do this. 99 00:03:15,067 --> 00:03:16,233 Look. 100 00:03:16,267 --> 00:03:17,700 This is about saving our lives. 101 00:03:17,733 --> 00:03:22,200 And besides, a wiener just a wiener. 102 00:03:22,233 --> 00:03:23,533 Okay? Don't cheek-stroke me. 103 00:03:23,567 --> 00:03:25,500 You know I hate that. Listen to me. 104 00:03:25,533 --> 00:03:28,200 I am your babe, and your babe only. 105 00:03:28,233 --> 00:03:29,567 No matter what. 106 00:03:29,600 --> 00:03:31,167 Fine. 107 00:03:31,200 --> 00:03:32,967 But you have to wear like 10 condoms. 108 00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:34,367 That's not how condoms work. 109 00:03:34,400 --> 00:03:36,533 And you have to wrap a shirt around it. No! 110 00:03:36,567 --> 00:03:37,833 Oh, whew! 111 00:03:37,867 --> 00:03:40,333 [ Romantic music playing ] 112 00:03:40,367 --> 00:03:43,500 I bet your dead husband never gave it to you like that. 113 00:03:43,533 --> 00:03:45,700 [ Scoffs ] He sure didn't. 114 00:03:45,733 --> 00:03:48,167 But it'll do. 115 00:03:48,200 --> 00:03:49,400 So, I've been, uh, 116 00:03:49,433 --> 00:03:51,300 I've been thinking a little bit about us. 117 00:03:51,333 --> 00:03:53,567 I have things to do. 118 00:03:53,600 --> 00:03:55,167 Things to do! 119 00:03:55,200 --> 00:03:58,200 It's a Monday, isn't it? 120 00:03:58,233 --> 00:04:01,333 You know, you act all tough. 121 00:04:01,367 --> 00:04:04,867 But I think inside, you're actually very tender. 122 00:04:04,900 --> 00:04:07,067 I'm not. 123 00:04:07,100 --> 00:04:09,033 Now, if you let me in, 124 00:04:09,067 --> 00:04:11,167 I bet old Steve could -- 125 00:04:11,200 --> 00:04:13,300 The Barracuda. Oh, shit. 126 00:04:13,333 --> 00:04:15,533 Uh, the buyer came through. 127 00:04:15,567 --> 00:04:17,367 Hello, V-Neck. The buyer's come through? 128 00:04:17,400 --> 00:04:19,000 [ Whispering ] Who's the buyer? 129 00:04:19,033 --> 00:04:20,333 Can you get out? 130 00:04:20,367 --> 00:04:21,733 [ Normal voice ] What about our conversation? 131 00:04:21,767 --> 00:04:22,967 Now! All right! 132 00:04:23,000 --> 00:04:25,200 ** 133 00:04:25,233 --> 00:04:27,533 Todd: 'Sup, dude? Jess: Hey. [ Laughs ] 134 00:04:27,567 --> 00:04:29,867 Working hard or hardly working, right? 135 00:04:29,900 --> 00:04:31,033 [ Laughs ] 136 00:04:31,067 --> 00:04:32,333 Working hard. 137 00:04:32,367 --> 00:04:34,000 Very cool. Mm. 138 00:04:34,033 --> 00:04:36,167 So, it looks like you dawgs 139 00:04:36,200 --> 00:04:38,200 are tearin' out of here soon, huh? 140 00:04:38,233 --> 00:04:39,633 Yeah, sucks! 141 00:04:39,667 --> 00:04:42,067 Feels like we barely got to know each other. 142 00:04:42,100 --> 00:04:43,400 Okay. What's going on? 143 00:04:43,433 --> 00:04:45,333 'Cause I've got a lot of sorting to do, 144 00:04:45,367 --> 00:04:47,333 and I need this interaction to be over. 145 00:04:47,367 --> 00:04:49,167 Well, we were just saying that, you know, 146 00:04:49,200 --> 00:04:50,400 it would be so great 147 00:04:50,433 --> 00:04:52,167 if we could just go on that boat with you 148 00:04:52,200 --> 00:04:53,467 and just, like, 149 00:04:53,500 --> 00:04:55,533 really, you know, get to know each other. 150 00:04:55,567 --> 00:04:57,567 Yeah. Not gonna happen. 151 00:04:57,600 --> 00:04:59,500 Okay. 152 00:04:59,533 --> 00:05:03,700 Well, what if I have sex with you? 153 00:05:03,733 --> 00:05:07,100 [ Dramatic music plays ] 154 00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:12,900 Reverse indecent proposal. 155 00:05:12,933 --> 00:05:14,900 That's a bold move. 156 00:05:14,933 --> 00:05:17,300 That's a risky move. 157 00:05:17,333 --> 00:05:18,967 What makes you think I'd be interested? 158 00:05:19,000 --> 00:05:20,233 [ Scoffs ] 159 00:05:20,267 --> 00:05:21,700 Well, I mean, you've been flirting with me 160 00:05:21,733 --> 00:05:24,033 for weeks, so... No, I haven't. 161 00:05:24,067 --> 00:05:25,633 Oh! Busted! No. 162 00:05:25,667 --> 00:05:27,333 [ Chuckling ] Oh, my God. 163 00:05:27,367 --> 00:05:28,700 She thinks everyone is flirting with her. 164 00:05:28,733 --> 00:05:30,967 No, I don't! Uh, yeah, you do. 165 00:05:31,000 --> 00:05:32,533 My friend Chuck, Tony Touch, 166 00:05:32,567 --> 00:05:34,633 Bake Show, Gawler, my boy O-Ring... 167 00:05:34,667 --> 00:05:37,033 Okay, O-Ring literally proposed to me. 168 00:05:37,067 --> 00:05:38,200 So, that's... So have I! 169 00:05:38,233 --> 00:05:39,733 That literally means nothing! 170 00:05:39,767 --> 00:05:41,533 Tank Top: Shh! Keep it -- hey! Keep your voices down. 171 00:05:41,567 --> 00:05:44,367 So, you know what? I am interested, but... 172 00:05:44,400 --> 00:05:46,400 I want something different. 173 00:05:47,233 --> 00:05:51,667 I'm talkin' about a reverse reverse indecent proposal. 174 00:05:52,533 --> 00:05:55,067 So, a... decent proposal? 175 00:05:55,100 --> 00:05:57,400 See, it turns out, um... 176 00:05:57,433 --> 00:05:59,333 I'm quite bi-curious. 177 00:05:59,367 --> 00:06:00,967 Oh! Oh, no. 178 00:06:01,000 --> 00:06:03,633 So yeah, I think I can get you on that boat, 179 00:06:03,667 --> 00:06:07,533 but, uh, I'm gonna want to do both of you. 180 00:06:07,567 --> 00:06:09,033 Together. 181 00:06:09,067 --> 00:06:12,533 ** 182 00:06:16,900 --> 00:06:18,033 This dude's crazy. 183 00:06:18,067 --> 00:06:19,367 He's playing mind games with us. 184 00:06:19,400 --> 00:06:20,567 What are you talking about? 185 00:06:20,600 --> 00:06:22,133 You've always wanted to have a threesome. 186 00:06:22,167 --> 00:06:24,500 I've always wanted to have a threesome with another girl. 187 00:06:24,533 --> 00:06:26,067 Four boobies, one dong -- the way God intended. 188 00:06:26,100 --> 00:06:27,567 Read the Bible! 189 00:06:27,600 --> 00:06:30,367 Uh, why can't it be two boobs and two dongs, huh? 190 00:06:30,400 --> 00:06:32,233 What? The hell kind of math is that? 191 00:06:32,267 --> 00:06:33,667 Are you serious? Oh, my God. 192 00:06:33,700 --> 00:06:35,833 Todd, are you really not gonna do this? 193 00:06:35,867 --> 00:06:38,300 I just -- I think that we should go back to the OG plan 194 00:06:38,333 --> 00:06:39,967 and tell him that it's you and you alone. 195 00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:42,367 10 minutes ago, you didn't want me to do that at all! 196 00:06:42,400 --> 00:06:44,500 Babe, it's like you said -- a wiener's a wiener. 197 00:06:44,533 --> 00:06:45,867 Oh, my God. And a butt's a butt. 198 00:06:45,900 --> 00:06:47,167 So you man up, 199 00:06:47,200 --> 00:06:49,233 and you [bleep] that pirate with me. 200 00:06:49,267 --> 00:06:51,500 Jess, come on. 201 00:06:51,533 --> 00:06:53,000 Hey! 202 00:06:53,033 --> 00:06:56,000 This reverse reverse indecent proposal 203 00:06:56,033 --> 00:06:58,567 is tearing us apart! 204 00:06:58,600 --> 00:06:59,567 [ Chuckles ] 205 00:06:59,600 --> 00:07:02,333 So weird how everyone was teasing us 206 00:07:02,367 --> 00:07:04,167 about that we were flirting. 207 00:07:04,200 --> 00:07:05,500 It's like, "What?" 208 00:07:05,533 --> 00:07:07,167 What? [ Laughs ] Right? 209 00:07:07,200 --> 00:07:09,500 We're all stuck on this island together. 210 00:07:09,533 --> 00:07:11,633 It's not like we're gonna start hooking up 211 00:07:11,667 --> 00:07:13,333 and, like, in the bushes, 212 00:07:13,367 --> 00:07:15,167 just going down on each other. 213 00:07:15,200 --> 00:07:16,533 [ Chuckles ] 214 00:07:16,567 --> 00:07:18,333 That's exactly what -- why I thought it was so funny. 215 00:07:18,367 --> 00:07:19,833 It's insane. Steve: Florence! 216 00:07:19,867 --> 00:07:22,167 Can I have a word with you, just the two of us? 217 00:07:23,067 --> 00:07:25,867 Yeah, just -- just you and I? 218 00:07:25,900 --> 00:07:27,367 Um... 219 00:07:28,867 --> 00:07:30,033 Okay. 220 00:07:30,067 --> 00:07:31,367 Well, uh, hypothetically, 221 00:07:31,400 --> 00:07:33,300 if you were in a relationship with someone... 222 00:07:33,333 --> 00:07:34,567 Hmm. ...and you wanted 223 00:07:34,600 --> 00:07:36,900 to take it to the next level... Oh. 224 00:07:36,933 --> 00:07:38,500 ...what would you do? 225 00:07:38,533 --> 00:07:40,367 How well do you know each other? 226 00:07:40,400 --> 00:07:43,033 Well, let's just say we're...having sex. [ Chuckles ] 227 00:07:43,067 --> 00:07:46,167 You really expect us to believe that someone on this island 228 00:07:46,200 --> 00:07:49,167 who has met you is having sex with you? 229 00:07:49,200 --> 00:07:51,633 Yes, Owen, because it's true! 230 00:07:51,667 --> 00:07:52,700 [ Laughs ] 231 00:07:52,733 --> 00:07:55,167 I can't hold it in! We're doing it! 232 00:07:55,200 --> 00:07:56,900 Doggy-style... All right. 233 00:07:56,933 --> 00:07:58,133 Oh! ...wheelbarrow, 234 00:07:58,167 --> 00:07:59,900 upside-down, how's your father... 235 00:07:59,933 --> 00:08:01,200 Mm. Oh, wow. 236 00:08:01,233 --> 00:08:03,167 ...so sexually, it's, uh, pretty good. 237 00:08:03,200 --> 00:08:04,633 Oh, it sounds like it. 238 00:08:04,667 --> 00:08:06,833 I just need some advice on the emotional front. 239 00:08:06,867 --> 00:08:08,033 Okay. 240 00:08:08,067 --> 00:08:10,233 Steve, whoever this is or isn't... 241 00:08:10,267 --> 00:08:12,233 Oh, it is. Sure. 242 00:08:12,267 --> 00:08:14,333 She probably just wants you to... 243 00:08:14,367 --> 00:08:16,167 tell her how you feel... 244 00:08:16,200 --> 00:08:18,700 so she can know if the vibe is real. 245 00:08:18,733 --> 00:08:20,167 ** 246 00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:22,200 What is that? Is that, like, a song lyric? 247 00:08:22,233 --> 00:08:23,800 No, Steve. Okay? 248 00:08:23,833 --> 00:08:26,033 Just, I don't know, take her on a date. 249 00:08:26,067 --> 00:08:28,000 Oh, a date. Of course. 250 00:08:28,033 --> 00:08:29,500 Yeah. Like a picnic. 251 00:08:29,533 --> 00:08:31,800 Sure, yeah. That's cute. 252 00:08:31,833 --> 00:08:33,200 Thank you, Florence. 253 00:08:33,233 --> 00:08:35,800 And Owen, a bit rude standing there, 254 00:08:35,833 --> 00:08:37,900 just listening to our conversation. 255 00:08:37,933 --> 00:08:39,500 Oh, I apologize. Thank you. 256 00:08:39,533 --> 00:08:41,500 Okay. A bit rude. 257 00:08:41,533 --> 00:08:44,633 [ Groans ] Stupid Todd with his stupid penis! 258 00:08:44,667 --> 00:08:46,500 I mean, why can't he just have a threesome? 259 00:08:46,533 --> 00:08:49,233 What is the worst that could happen? 260 00:08:49,267 --> 00:08:52,567 [ Jam music plays ] 261 00:08:52,600 --> 00:08:53,833 Whoa! 262 00:08:53,867 --> 00:08:56,167 Hell, yeah. 263 00:08:56,200 --> 00:08:57,367 Some ponging. 264 00:08:57,400 --> 00:08:59,733 That thing -- that's hilarious. 265 00:08:59,767 --> 00:09:01,167 Yeah, I thought we could chill a little bit 266 00:09:01,200 --> 00:09:02,533 before we get to humping. 267 00:09:02,567 --> 00:09:04,533 Brews in the fridge, you guys. Help yourselves. 268 00:09:04,567 --> 00:09:05,533 Sick. 269 00:09:05,567 --> 00:09:07,833 Lovin' the jam-band tunes. 270 00:09:07,867 --> 00:09:10,167 Wait, are those... 271 00:09:10,200 --> 00:09:11,833 Roger by Roger Federer sweatbands? 272 00:09:11,867 --> 00:09:13,167 Of course. 273 00:09:13,200 --> 00:09:14,567 I don't hit the links without 'em. 274 00:09:14,600 --> 00:09:16,733 You play golf? You bet. 275 00:09:16,767 --> 00:09:18,533 I'm still working on my scratch game. I'm a -- 276 00:09:18,567 --> 00:09:21,233 Eight handicap. Eight handicap. 277 00:09:21,267 --> 00:09:24,367 [ Chris De Burgh's "Lady in Red" plays ] 278 00:09:25,767 --> 00:09:28,800 What are we doing? 279 00:09:28,833 --> 00:09:30,667 * Ooh 280 00:09:31,500 --> 00:09:33,900 Jess, you can go. 281 00:09:33,933 --> 00:09:35,533 I'm gay now. 282 00:09:35,567 --> 00:09:36,900 What? 283 00:09:36,933 --> 00:09:39,000 I don't love you. 284 00:09:39,033 --> 00:09:40,500 * I've never seen you looking so lovely * 285 00:09:40,533 --> 00:09:43,167 I love you. * As you did tonight 286 00:09:43,200 --> 00:09:45,200 I know this is quick, but... 287 00:09:45,233 --> 00:09:46,833 will you gay marry me? 288 00:09:46,867 --> 00:09:50,033 You gay bet I will. 289 00:09:51,333 --> 00:09:53,167 * I've never seen so many men asking if you wanted to dance * 290 00:09:53,200 --> 00:09:55,033 [ Screams ] 291 00:09:55,067 --> 00:09:56,833 Oh, God. 292 00:09:56,867 --> 00:09:58,867 We can't do it. 293 00:09:58,900 --> 00:10:01,467 He'll fall in love. 294 00:10:01,500 --> 00:10:02,833 [ Gasps ] 295 00:10:02,867 --> 00:10:04,900 The hell's her problem? 296 00:10:04,933 --> 00:10:07,000 I got to bang some dude? 297 00:10:07,033 --> 00:10:09,167 [ Grunts, groans ] 298 00:10:09,200 --> 00:10:13,233 Why can't she just do it solo? 299 00:10:14,400 --> 00:10:16,500 [ Chris De Burgh's "Lady in Red" plays ] 300 00:10:16,533 --> 00:10:17,700 Wow. 301 00:10:17,733 --> 00:10:19,567 [ Sighs ] 302 00:10:19,600 --> 00:10:22,233 This is so... Romantic? 303 00:10:22,267 --> 00:10:23,667 * Ooh 304 00:10:23,700 --> 00:10:25,200 You deserve it. 305 00:10:25,233 --> 00:10:29,400 * Ooh 306 00:10:30,400 --> 00:10:32,167 See anything you like? 307 00:10:32,200 --> 00:10:34,033 No. * I've never -- 308 00:10:34,067 --> 00:10:35,367 What? 309 00:10:35,400 --> 00:10:37,700 That's tiny. Todd has a way bigger dong. 310 00:10:37,733 --> 00:10:40,200 What if I just go down on you for like a few hours? 311 00:10:40,233 --> 00:10:41,700 Eh, no way. Hate that stuff. 312 00:10:41,733 --> 00:10:43,333 Well, your boyfriend already turned me down, 313 00:10:43,367 --> 00:10:44,533 and if you don't have sex with me, 314 00:10:44,567 --> 00:10:45,900 I'll kill both of you. 315 00:10:45,933 --> 00:10:47,333 I don't care. 316 00:10:47,367 --> 00:10:49,333 I want Todd and Todd only. 317 00:10:49,367 --> 00:10:51,033 Even if it kills us. 318 00:10:51,067 --> 00:10:52,233 Aah! 319 00:10:52,267 --> 00:10:54,200 I am...furious! 320 00:10:54,233 --> 00:10:58,567 I will kill everyone! 321 00:10:58,600 --> 00:10:59,867 [ Gasps ] 322 00:10:59,900 --> 00:11:01,033 Oh, God. 323 00:11:01,067 --> 00:11:03,400 I've got to be there. 324 00:11:03,433 --> 00:11:06,033 She loves me too much. 325 00:11:06,067 --> 00:11:07,700 Jess: Todd! 326 00:11:07,733 --> 00:11:09,967 Todd! 327 00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:12,400 Jess! 328 00:11:12,433 --> 00:11:13,667 Todd! 329 00:11:13,700 --> 00:11:15,367 [ Grunts ] 330 00:11:15,400 --> 00:11:17,233 You were right. We can't have a threesome. 331 00:11:17,267 --> 00:11:18,633 No, you were right. 332 00:11:18,667 --> 00:11:20,367 We have to have a threesome. 333 00:11:20,400 --> 00:11:22,167 I let you go in there alone, 334 00:11:22,200 --> 00:11:23,533 you'll get us both killed. 335 00:11:23,567 --> 00:11:26,967 Wait, what? Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh. 336 00:11:27,000 --> 00:11:29,367 Let's go bang a pirate. 337 00:11:30,567 --> 00:11:32,800 Where are you taking me? 338 00:11:32,833 --> 00:11:35,067 I thought you said there was an emergency. 339 00:11:35,100 --> 00:11:36,500 It's a picnic emergency. 340 00:11:36,533 --> 00:11:38,967 I don't have time for this right now, Steve. 341 00:11:39,000 --> 00:11:40,167 I'm very busy. 342 00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:42,000 Five minutes. 343 00:11:42,033 --> 00:11:43,700 Maybe seven. 344 00:11:43,733 --> 00:11:45,867 [ Sighs ] 345 00:11:45,900 --> 00:11:47,567 Okay. 346 00:11:49,200 --> 00:11:51,467 So, unfortunately, 347 00:11:51,500 --> 00:11:53,800 I don't have any real picnic food 348 00:11:53,833 --> 00:11:56,567 because we're stuck on a deserted island. 349 00:11:57,567 --> 00:12:01,167 So you wrote the word "cheese" on a rock? 350 00:12:01,200 --> 00:12:04,167 Fancy some wine? [ Laughs ] 351 00:12:04,200 --> 00:12:06,800 All right. Let's do this. 352 00:12:06,833 --> 00:12:08,500 Take your pants off. 353 00:12:08,533 --> 00:12:12,333 Uh, actually, um, I brought you here 354 00:12:12,367 --> 00:12:14,700 because I want us to talk. 355 00:12:14,733 --> 00:12:17,300 Um, get to know each other. 356 00:12:17,333 --> 00:12:18,500 I'll go first. 357 00:12:18,533 --> 00:12:20,367 So, something you don't know about me 358 00:12:20,400 --> 00:12:22,033 is I used to be married. 359 00:12:22,067 --> 00:12:24,300 Okay? 360 00:12:24,333 --> 00:12:26,867 And my ex -- she cheated on me. 361 00:12:26,900 --> 00:12:28,200 She used me. 362 00:12:28,233 --> 00:12:31,233 And I swore I would never let it happen again, 363 00:12:31,267 --> 00:12:34,167 no matter how pipin' hot the sex was. 364 00:12:34,200 --> 00:12:36,167 You don't want to have sex anymore. 365 00:12:36,200 --> 00:12:38,567 [ Stammers ] No, no! That's not it! 366 00:12:38,600 --> 00:12:39,833 Please. 367 00:12:39,867 --> 00:12:41,533 I'm just trying to get you to let me in. 368 00:12:41,567 --> 00:12:43,167 I know that deep down, 369 00:12:43,200 --> 00:12:46,667 underneath that cool, tough pirate-girl image, 370 00:12:46,700 --> 00:12:48,167 you're a nice person. 371 00:12:48,200 --> 00:12:49,367 [ Scoffs ] 372 00:12:49,400 --> 00:12:52,233 You don't give up, do you, Steve? 373 00:12:53,667 --> 00:12:55,133 The Barracuda! 374 00:12:55,167 --> 00:12:56,333 Aah, V-Neck! 375 00:12:56,367 --> 00:12:58,233 Have you heard of knocking? 376 00:12:58,267 --> 00:13:00,833 Where am I supposed to knock, Steve? 377 00:13:00,867 --> 00:13:02,200 What is it? 378 00:13:02,233 --> 00:13:03,733 The deal's ready to be finalized. 379 00:13:03,767 --> 00:13:05,233 I have to go. 380 00:13:05,267 --> 00:13:07,833 ** 381 00:13:07,867 --> 00:13:10,167 Thanks for the cheese. 382 00:13:10,200 --> 00:13:14,000 ** 383 00:13:14,033 --> 00:13:15,200 Hey. 384 00:13:15,233 --> 00:13:16,833 We -- We talked over your offer, 385 00:13:16,867 --> 00:13:18,567 and... we'll do it. 386 00:13:20,033 --> 00:13:22,367 Well, all right. 387 00:13:22,400 --> 00:13:24,233 But we're gonna need to make some rules. 388 00:13:24,267 --> 00:13:25,700 Rule number one -- 389 00:13:25,733 --> 00:13:27,367 You're not allowed to fall in love with each other! 390 00:13:27,400 --> 00:13:29,200 What? What? 391 00:13:29,233 --> 00:13:30,700 Why would that even be a rule? 392 00:13:30,733 --> 00:13:31,833 It is a rule! 393 00:13:31,867 --> 00:13:34,133 You both have to agree to it, or no deal. 394 00:13:34,167 --> 00:13:37,000 All right. Yeah, of course. 395 00:13:37,033 --> 00:13:39,067 Okay. Actual rule number one -- 396 00:13:39,100 --> 00:13:41,167 I hump you, you don't hump me. 397 00:13:41,200 --> 00:13:42,833 Wow. That's interesting. 398 00:13:42,867 --> 00:13:45,100 You're sure you don't even want to try it just a little bit? 399 00:13:45,933 --> 00:13:47,667 We'll play it by ear. 400 00:13:47,700 --> 00:13:48,733 Final rule! 401 00:13:48,767 --> 00:13:50,167 I pick the music, strictly jam bands. 402 00:13:50,200 --> 00:13:51,533 No! 403 00:13:51,567 --> 00:13:52,633 No jam bands! 404 00:13:52,667 --> 00:13:54,533 No harmonicas, no improvising, no solos. 405 00:13:54,567 --> 00:13:55,967 Oh, this is not the girl who was like... One guitar... 406 00:13:56,000 --> 00:13:57,800 "Take me to Widespread..." ...noodling thingie... 407 00:13:57,833 --> 00:13:59,500 ...again and again and again and... ...whatever that is. 408 00:13:59,533 --> 00:14:01,700 [ Indistinct shouting ] Whoa, whoa whoa! 409 00:14:01,733 --> 00:14:03,733 God, you guys fight a lot, huh? 410 00:14:03,767 --> 00:14:05,167 No. Yes. 411 00:14:05,200 --> 00:14:07,800 So, you down to clown or what? 412 00:14:07,833 --> 00:14:09,400 [ Chuckles ] 413 00:14:10,200 --> 00:14:13,367 Does it look like I'm down to clown? 414 00:14:13,400 --> 00:14:15,033 Oh, wow. That's miming. 415 00:14:15,067 --> 00:14:16,733 No, that's not clowning. 416 00:14:16,767 --> 00:14:18,800 That's real bad miming. 417 00:14:18,833 --> 00:14:20,500 [ Gasps ] My God. 418 00:14:20,533 --> 00:14:22,167 That's -- Oh, God. 419 00:14:22,200 --> 00:14:24,167 Oh, no. Wow. 420 00:14:24,200 --> 00:14:25,700 God bless! Oh, man! 421 00:14:33,733 --> 00:14:36,633 S-So, how should we -- how should we start? 422 00:14:36,667 --> 00:14:39,200 You in her, and them me in her, and then we touch butts? 423 00:14:39,233 --> 00:14:40,400 Or you want more of a sandwich sitch? 424 00:14:40,433 --> 00:14:41,867 Shh. Or -- 425 00:14:41,900 --> 00:14:44,967 Show me how you normally start when you're alone. 426 00:14:45,000 --> 00:14:47,500 Oh, we got this act down. Oh. Yeah. 427 00:14:47,533 --> 00:14:49,567 Quick and dirty. Jess, hop to it. 428 00:14:49,600 --> 00:14:51,367 [ Groans ] [ Spitting ] 429 00:14:51,400 --> 00:14:53,367 Tank Top: Whoa, whoa, whoa. 430 00:14:53,400 --> 00:14:55,400 Hey hey! Stop. What, are you spitting? 431 00:14:55,433 --> 00:14:56,967 Jesus, man! What's happening? 432 00:14:57,000 --> 00:14:59,467 What? You told us to start slammin'. No, no, no. 433 00:14:59,500 --> 00:15:01,167 We're not gonna be slammin' anything. 434 00:15:01,200 --> 00:15:02,367 We will be making love, 435 00:15:02,400 --> 00:15:05,033 and love is about coming together. 436 00:15:05,067 --> 00:15:06,233 [ Both laugh ] 437 00:15:06,267 --> 00:15:07,867 That's impossible. 438 00:15:07,900 --> 00:15:09,700 No, I mean becoming one. 439 00:15:09,733 --> 00:15:12,333 You two need to start listening to each other's bodies. 440 00:15:12,367 --> 00:15:14,700 I mean really hear each other, do you know what I mean? 441 00:15:14,733 --> 00:15:18,367 I honestly have no idea what you're talking about. 442 00:15:18,400 --> 00:15:21,000 Okay. Face each other. 443 00:15:21,033 --> 00:15:25,167 Todd, look at Jess. 444 00:15:25,200 --> 00:15:26,700 Nope, in the eyes. 445 00:15:26,733 --> 00:15:28,233 In the eyes? 446 00:15:28,267 --> 00:15:29,833 Why would I... 447 00:15:29,867 --> 00:15:31,533 Whoa. 448 00:15:31,567 --> 00:15:33,033 Wow. 449 00:15:33,067 --> 00:15:35,233 What is happening to us? 450 00:15:35,267 --> 00:15:37,300 I'm getting all... 451 00:15:37,333 --> 00:15:39,000 goose-pimply. 452 00:15:39,033 --> 00:15:40,200 [ Chuckles ] 453 00:15:40,233 --> 00:15:41,633 Now, Jess, I'm guessing 454 00:15:41,667 --> 00:15:43,700 that little plank-board situation from before 455 00:15:43,733 --> 00:15:45,867 isn't exactly how you like to get down. 456 00:15:45,900 --> 00:15:47,500 So why don't you tell Todd 457 00:15:47,533 --> 00:15:49,867 exactly what you want him to do to you? 458 00:15:49,900 --> 00:15:51,700 Like, with words, or...? 459 00:15:51,733 --> 00:15:54,100 Yeah, with words. That's -- yes. 460 00:15:55,567 --> 00:15:57,200 Kiss... 461 00:15:57,233 --> 00:15:59,167 my neck. 462 00:15:59,200 --> 00:16:01,833 Your neck? 463 00:16:01,867 --> 00:16:03,033 ** 464 00:16:03,067 --> 00:16:05,100 I mean, okay. 465 00:16:06,567 --> 00:16:07,700 [ Moans ] 466 00:16:07,733 --> 00:16:09,867 What's that sound? Am I hurting you? 467 00:16:09,900 --> 00:16:11,500 No! 468 00:16:11,533 --> 00:16:15,233 No, I-I-I liked it. 469 00:16:17,200 --> 00:16:19,200 Yeah. 470 00:16:19,233 --> 00:16:21,200 Now we're getting going. 471 00:16:21,233 --> 00:16:23,200 [ Laughs ] 472 00:16:23,233 --> 00:16:27,267 Now it's Tank Top Time. 473 00:16:28,100 --> 00:16:29,367 Man: All right. 474 00:16:29,400 --> 00:16:31,300 So, he says he'll give you $200,000 a pop 475 00:16:31,333 --> 00:16:33,167 and he'll take everyone under 50, 476 00:16:33,200 --> 00:16:34,800 so that leaves 29 islanders. 477 00:16:34,833 --> 00:16:37,633 The Barracuda: Tell him I said $250,000, 478 00:16:37,667 --> 00:16:40,167 and I want them gone tomorrow. 479 00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:43,167 What about everybody else? 480 00:16:43,200 --> 00:16:45,467 Kill them. 481 00:16:45,500 --> 00:16:46,700 Aah! 482 00:16:46,733 --> 00:16:48,500 ** 483 00:16:48,533 --> 00:16:51,833 Caught this one outside, eavesdropping. 484 00:16:51,867 --> 00:16:53,867 You want me to kill him? Steve: Please, no! 485 00:16:53,900 --> 00:16:55,200 I didn't hear anything. 486 00:16:55,233 --> 00:16:56,467 I've actually got an ear infection, so... 487 00:16:56,500 --> 00:16:57,833 I'm just -- The Barracuda: No. 488 00:16:57,867 --> 00:17:02,233 I've decided Steve will be coming with us. 489 00:17:02,267 --> 00:17:03,833 ** 490 00:17:03,867 --> 00:17:05,400 Wow! [ Gasps ] 491 00:17:05,433 --> 00:17:08,000 I never felt so close to you. 492 00:17:08,033 --> 00:17:09,733 I never felt so close to you. 493 00:17:09,767 --> 00:17:11,200 Tank Top: Whoo! 494 00:17:11,233 --> 00:17:14,333 Oh! Tell me about it, huh? 495 00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:16,033 Yeah. [ Sighs ] 496 00:17:16,067 --> 00:17:17,367 Whoo! [ Laughs ] 497 00:17:17,400 --> 00:17:20,167 Man, I feel loose! Yeah. 498 00:17:20,200 --> 00:17:22,367 I'll tell you what. Your timing couldn't have been any better. 499 00:17:22,400 --> 00:17:24,233 Yeah, I feel like we really got into a nice rhythm there, 500 00:17:24,267 --> 00:17:25,467 you know? 501 00:17:25,500 --> 00:17:27,167 No, no. I mean The Barracuda. 502 00:17:27,200 --> 00:17:29,000 She's about to round up all your friends 503 00:17:29,033 --> 00:17:31,967 and cut out their organs, sell 'em on the black market. 504 00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:33,200 [ Scoffs ] 505 00:17:33,233 --> 00:17:34,500 Come again? 506 00:17:34,533 --> 00:17:37,200 Kidneys! Yeah, those things sell, man. 507 00:17:37,233 --> 00:17:40,233 I tell you what, you guys are precious capital. 508 00:17:40,267 --> 00:17:42,200 You'll have to kill everyone. 509 00:17:42,233 --> 00:17:44,233 Yeah, but you know what? 510 00:17:44,267 --> 00:17:47,333 You guys don't worry, 'cause you're good. 511 00:17:47,367 --> 00:17:48,800 You're gonna be on that boat with me. 512 00:17:48,833 --> 00:17:51,800 And every day is gonna be Tank Top Time. 513 00:17:51,833 --> 00:17:53,000 [ Laughs ] 514 00:17:53,033 --> 00:17:54,333 Whoo! Aah! 515 00:17:54,367 --> 00:17:56,700 [ Laughs ] Tank Top Time! 516 00:18:00,833 --> 00:18:02,167 Todd. 517 00:18:02,200 --> 00:18:04,033 Todd, we have to tell everyone! 518 00:18:04,067 --> 00:18:05,233 Okay, yeah, that's great, 519 00:18:05,267 --> 00:18:06,733 but let's just think this through. 520 00:18:06,767 --> 00:18:08,500 Think what through? They're gonna kill everyone! 521 00:18:08,533 --> 00:18:09,733 I know. I know, all right? 522 00:18:09,767 --> 00:18:11,367 But if we tell everyone what's going on, 523 00:18:11,400 --> 00:18:12,733 we'll lose our place on the ship. 524 00:18:12,767 --> 00:18:14,333 That means we just had a threesome 525 00:18:14,367 --> 00:18:16,633 with a pirate named Tank Top for nothing! 526 00:18:16,667 --> 00:18:18,200 He was putting his fingers in me, 527 00:18:18,233 --> 00:18:19,533 unless that was you. Okay, shh. 528 00:18:19,567 --> 00:18:21,000 Todd, look at me. Look at me. 529 00:18:21,033 --> 00:18:22,367 Even if we die, 530 00:18:22,400 --> 00:18:25,900 what we just did in there was not for nothing. 531 00:18:25,933 --> 00:18:27,133 It was for us. 532 00:18:27,167 --> 00:18:29,533 [ Both chuckle ] I love you so much. 533 00:18:29,567 --> 00:18:31,500 I love you. Now, let's go tell our friends 534 00:18:31,533 --> 00:18:33,033 they're about to get murdered. 535 00:18:33,067 --> 00:18:35,400 Okay, but we should wash our hands first. Hurry up. 536 00:18:35,433 --> 00:18:37,200 Man: So I broke these two fingers 537 00:18:37,233 --> 00:18:38,800 punching him right in the chin, 538 00:18:38,833 --> 00:18:41,233 and that's how I got thrown off the set of "La Bamba." 539 00:18:41,267 --> 00:18:42,500 There you are! 540 00:18:42,533 --> 00:18:45,533 I've been looking for you everywhere. 541 00:18:45,567 --> 00:18:46,533 Okay, hi. 542 00:18:46,567 --> 00:18:50,200 I was hanging out with Florence. 543 00:18:50,233 --> 00:18:52,333 I see. 544 00:18:52,367 --> 00:18:57,800 Is there anything you'd like to say to me? 545 00:18:57,833 --> 00:18:59,500 No. 546 00:19:01,267 --> 00:19:03,833 Okay. Um, fine. 547 00:19:03,867 --> 00:19:06,167 Uh, I think, you know, 548 00:19:06,200 --> 00:19:08,667 that we might kind of be into each other, 549 00:19:08,700 --> 00:19:10,800 but, uh, I'm not really sure 550 00:19:10,833 --> 00:19:12,333 'cause we haven't even really talked about it. 551 00:19:12,367 --> 00:19:14,000 Okay, dude. 552 00:19:14,033 --> 00:19:16,500 Do not do this, all right? 553 00:19:16,533 --> 00:19:19,500 First you're gonna hook up, then you're gonna break up, 554 00:19:19,533 --> 00:19:21,167 and then you're gonna be stuck together 555 00:19:21,200 --> 00:19:22,633 here on the island. 556 00:19:22,667 --> 00:19:25,700 Well... that's what she said. 557 00:19:25,733 --> 00:19:27,133 I don't get it. 558 00:19:27,167 --> 00:19:29,033 Get what? 559 00:19:29,067 --> 00:19:31,633 "That's what she said"? How's that a "That's what she said"? 560 00:19:31,667 --> 00:19:33,300 No, that's literally what she said. 561 00:19:33,333 --> 00:19:35,733 Okay, I don't think you understand how the joke works. 562 00:19:35,767 --> 00:19:38,067 No, I'm not doing the joke. I'm telling you what she told me. That's what she said. 563 00:19:38,100 --> 00:19:39,367 Yeah, but usually, you have to do it 564 00:19:39,400 --> 00:19:40,867 in, like, a reference to a sexual thing, 565 00:19:40,900 --> 00:19:42,467 like, "That's what she said." I understand. 566 00:19:42,500 --> 00:19:44,167 I understand the joke. Todd: Guys! Guys! 567 00:19:44,200 --> 00:19:46,967 They're gonna kill us! The pirates -- they're gonna kill us! 568 00:19:47,000 --> 00:19:48,733 Todd: We got to get our shit! We got to get our shit, we got to get out of here! 569 00:19:48,767 --> 00:19:50,900 Whoa whoa whoa, wait! Slow down. What is happening? 570 00:19:50,933 --> 00:19:52,300 The pirates -- 571 00:19:52,333 --> 00:19:54,033 they're gonna harvest our organs and sell them. 572 00:19:54,067 --> 00:19:55,367 Man: Sure they are. What? 573 00:19:55,400 --> 00:19:57,000 Wait, how did you guys find this out? 574 00:19:57,033 --> 00:19:58,200 Because we just had -- 575 00:19:58,233 --> 00:20:00,200 Never mind! It's not important. 576 00:20:00,233 --> 00:20:01,633 Guys! Guys! 577 00:20:01,667 --> 00:20:04,500 The pirates -- they're gonna kill us! 578 00:20:04,533 --> 00:20:06,833 We know, Steve. Todd and Jess just told us. 579 00:20:06,867 --> 00:20:08,700 [ Sobbing ] Oh. 580 00:20:08,733 --> 00:20:10,167 [ Sobbing continues ] 581 00:20:10,200 --> 00:20:11,633 Steve, man. 582 00:20:11,667 --> 00:20:13,867 If it means that much to you, 583 00:20:13,900 --> 00:20:15,667 you can come back in. 584 00:20:15,700 --> 00:20:18,000 We'll pretend we didn't know. 585 00:20:18,033 --> 00:20:19,367 It's not that! 586 00:20:19,400 --> 00:20:23,200 I thought The Barracuda was a good person. 587 00:20:23,233 --> 00:20:26,300 I've been sleeping with a monster! 588 00:20:26,333 --> 00:20:27,867 [ Gasps ] What? 589 00:20:27,900 --> 00:20:29,533 The Barracuda? What? 590 00:20:29,567 --> 00:20:31,667 I couldn't say anything! She was gonna kill me! 591 00:20:31,700 --> 00:20:33,367 Steve -- this Steve -- 592 00:20:33,400 --> 00:20:35,533 has been banging The Barracuda! 593 00:20:35,567 --> 00:20:36,533 How?! 594 00:20:36,567 --> 00:20:38,367 He's lying. Is he lying? He's lying. 595 00:20:38,400 --> 00:20:39,833 Yeah, he's got to be lying. Karen: Hey! 596 00:20:39,867 --> 00:20:42,700 There are more important issues at hand here! 597 00:20:42,733 --> 00:20:44,700 Like the fact that our kidneys 598 00:20:44,733 --> 00:20:47,367 are about to be ripped out of our asses! 599 00:20:47,400 --> 00:20:48,700 Guys, what are we gonna do? 600 00:20:48,733 --> 00:20:53,000 I'll tell you what we're gonna do. 601 00:20:53,033 --> 00:20:55,000 We're all gonna die! 602 00:20:55,033 --> 00:20:58,700 [ Screaming ]