1 00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:02,170 Previously on "Wrecked"... 2 00:00:03,204 --> 00:00:04,172 Pack, you're a sports agent, right? 3 00:00:04,205 --> 00:00:05,139 Yeah. Very successful. 4 00:00:05,173 --> 00:00:06,474 [ Gasps ] I killed a Nazi. 5 00:00:06,507 --> 00:00:08,376 You killed a guy who happened to be a Nazi. 6 00:00:08,409 --> 00:00:10,144 Same thing! [ Groaning ] 7 00:00:10,178 --> 00:00:11,379 We're pirates, mother[bleep] 8 00:00:11,412 --> 00:00:12,680 [ Gunfire, screaming ] Danny Wallace? 9 00:00:12,713 --> 00:00:14,315 His family's worth billions! 10 00:00:14,348 --> 00:00:17,351 I am The Barracuda... and this is my island now. 11 00:00:17,385 --> 00:00:18,386 We'll call your father, 12 00:00:18,419 --> 00:00:19,687 and after he sends the money, 13 00:00:19,720 --> 00:00:20,888 we'll have you picked up here. 14 00:00:20,921 --> 00:00:22,756 I'm so sorry, but... my father's dead. 15 00:00:23,957 --> 00:00:24,992 Dad's dead?! 16 00:00:25,025 --> 00:00:26,360 There's been a setback. 17 00:00:26,394 --> 00:00:28,062 We're just going to have to learn to live together. 18 00:00:30,231 --> 00:00:32,066 ** 19 00:00:32,100 --> 00:00:34,768 [ Chatter ] 20 00:00:42,910 --> 00:00:44,612 Hey, guys. I know that we're all 21 00:00:44,645 --> 00:00:47,715 feeling a little uneasy about the pirates, right? 22 00:00:47,748 --> 00:00:49,550 We don't know, you know, what they're doing 23 00:00:49,583 --> 00:00:51,552 or how long they plan to stay -- 24 00:00:51,585 --> 00:00:52,786 Yeah! What are they doing!? 25 00:00:52,820 --> 00:00:54,388 And how long do they plan to stay!? 26 00:00:54,422 --> 00:00:57,191 Well, Chet, it's like I literally just said, 27 00:00:57,225 --> 00:00:58,426 we don't know -- 28 00:00:58,459 --> 00:00:59,960 And how come they have so much gear? 29 00:00:59,993 --> 00:01:02,096 Why? And why do they have tarps?! 30 00:01:02,130 --> 00:01:04,732 I'm pretty sure that the tarps are just to cover things. 31 00:01:04,765 --> 00:01:06,767 I don't think we need to fear the tarps. 32 00:01:06,800 --> 00:01:09,270 If it were up to me, I'd say we steal those tarps, 33 00:01:09,303 --> 00:01:11,572 string 'em to some boards and boom -- 34 00:01:11,605 --> 00:01:13,874 we kite surf right outta this shithole. 35 00:01:13,907 --> 00:01:15,609 [ Chatter ] Todd's right. We should do that. 36 00:01:15,643 --> 00:01:16,710 Yeah! Bruce: I've seen it on TV. 37 00:01:16,744 --> 00:01:18,078 We could try, at least. 38 00:01:18,112 --> 00:01:19,380 Okay. Hey, guys! 39 00:01:19,413 --> 00:01:21,415 Why don't we just think of the pirates 40 00:01:21,449 --> 00:01:23,717 as our new heavily-armed neighbors -- 41 00:01:23,751 --> 00:01:26,954 If we leave them alone, they will leave us alone. 42 00:01:27,821 --> 00:01:28,656 Oh. 43 00:01:28,689 --> 00:01:30,124 We're taking your beach. 44 00:01:30,158 --> 00:01:32,426 Wh-- Seriously? Where are we supposed to go? 45 00:01:32,460 --> 00:01:34,328 Oh, we'll want you close. 46 00:01:34,362 --> 00:01:35,796 You can live down there. 47 00:01:36,664 --> 00:01:38,399 Down there? Chet: That's a terrible place! 48 00:01:38,432 --> 00:01:40,134 [ Chatter ] -Where we all shit? -Burnt tires and stuff! 49 00:01:40,168 --> 00:01:41,902 That's, like, the worst part of the beach! 50 00:01:41,935 --> 00:01:44,272 It's covered in trash and broken glass -- 51 00:01:44,305 --> 00:01:45,606 And dead birds. See? 52 00:01:45,639 --> 00:01:47,475 I didn't even know about the dead birds. 53 00:01:50,144 --> 00:01:51,479 Okay. Guys, new plan. 54 00:01:51,512 --> 00:01:53,013 Let's grab our stuff and move down the beach. 55 00:01:53,046 --> 00:01:56,083 What do you think? Oh, I hate grabbing my stuff! 56 00:01:56,116 --> 00:01:58,186 [ Chatter ] 57 00:01:58,219 --> 00:02:00,188 Are you happy? 58 00:02:00,221 --> 00:02:01,922 And I want your shirt. 59 00:02:01,955 --> 00:02:02,956 I'm sorry? 60 00:02:02,990 --> 00:02:04,292 Your shirt. 61 00:02:04,325 --> 00:02:06,260 Take it off and give it to me. 62 00:02:06,294 --> 00:02:07,528 Why does she want his shirt? 63 00:02:07,561 --> 00:02:08,629 [ Chatter ] She can have my shirt. 64 00:02:08,662 --> 00:02:10,464 Okay. All right. 65 00:02:10,498 --> 00:02:11,965 I know what you're doing. 66 00:02:11,999 --> 00:02:12,933 You're big-doggin' me. 67 00:02:12,966 --> 00:02:14,435 You're trying to show everybody 68 00:02:14,468 --> 00:02:16,003 you can make me do whatever you want. 69 00:02:16,036 --> 00:02:18,206 Okay, let me just explain something to you, 70 00:02:18,239 --> 00:02:20,274 uh, The Barracuda. 71 00:02:20,308 --> 00:02:21,509 I am putting my foot down. 72 00:02:21,542 --> 00:02:22,810 Okay, see this foot? 73 00:02:22,843 --> 00:02:24,278 I am putting it down. [ Gun cocks ] 74 00:02:24,312 --> 00:02:26,113 Yeah. I'll just take -- I'll take it off now. 75 00:02:26,146 --> 00:02:28,582 [ Groans ] It's sweaty, so it's hard to come off. 76 00:02:31,852 --> 00:02:34,322 ** 77 00:02:34,655 --> 00:02:37,991 [ Insects buzzing ] 78 00:02:38,025 --> 00:02:39,126 Ow! Dammit! 79 00:02:39,159 --> 00:02:42,296 God, there's broken glass everywhere! 80 00:02:42,330 --> 00:02:44,698 Admittedly, this is a setback. 81 00:02:44,732 --> 00:02:46,534 But on the plus side, Bruce did let me 82 00:02:46,567 --> 00:02:48,402 borrow one of his shirts -- 83 00:02:48,436 --> 00:02:49,837 Don't stretch that, now! 84 00:02:49,870 --> 00:02:50,804 [ Sighs ] 85 00:02:50,838 --> 00:02:52,340 At least it can't get any worse. 86 00:02:52,373 --> 00:02:55,509 [ Squealing speakers ] 87 00:02:55,543 --> 00:02:57,545 What the hell is that noise?! 88 00:02:58,178 --> 00:03:01,014 [ Poison's "Nothin' But a Good Time" plays ] 89 00:03:02,049 --> 00:03:03,517 [ Distant chatter ] 90 00:03:03,551 --> 00:03:06,354 God bless. 91 00:03:06,387 --> 00:03:07,855 They're partying. 92 00:03:07,888 --> 00:03:11,692 * Don't need nothin' but a good time * 93 00:03:11,725 --> 00:03:15,162 * How can I resist * Why would they bring a volleyball net? 94 00:03:15,195 --> 00:03:17,064 * Ain't lookin' for nothin' but a good time * 95 00:03:17,097 --> 00:03:19,700 I don't know, but Bandana gets up. 96 00:03:19,733 --> 00:03:21,702 * And it don't get better than this * 97 00:03:21,735 --> 00:03:23,337 This is insane! 98 00:03:23,371 --> 00:03:25,038 Why is it so loud? 99 00:03:25,072 --> 00:03:27,508 They're probably just blowing off steam. 100 00:03:27,541 --> 00:03:29,142 They can't party all day. 101 00:03:33,281 --> 00:03:34,715 What are they gonna do? 102 00:03:34,748 --> 00:03:36,149 Party all night? 103 00:03:40,888 --> 00:03:44,625 Oh, my God. They partied all day... 104 00:03:44,658 --> 00:03:46,860 and they partied all night. 105 00:03:46,894 --> 00:03:48,529 [ Dance music plays ] 106 00:03:48,562 --> 00:03:51,031 [ Whimpering ] Why is this happening to us? 107 00:03:51,064 --> 00:03:52,400 Are we...dead? 108 00:03:52,433 --> 00:03:53,901 [ Crying ] 109 00:03:53,934 --> 00:03:56,404 ** 110 00:03:56,604 --> 00:03:58,105 [ Insects buzzing ] 111 00:03:58,939 --> 00:04:01,041 Dad, I know I wasn't able to 112 00:04:01,074 --> 00:04:03,411 be home for your funeral, but... 113 00:04:03,444 --> 00:04:04,578 Oh! Who wrote that? 114 00:04:04,612 --> 00:04:06,079 "Dick" Wallace! 115 00:04:06,113 --> 00:04:07,448 I don't think you're a dick. 116 00:04:07,481 --> 00:04:08,782 Some people do, but not Steve! 117 00:04:08,816 --> 00:04:11,952 No! Steve, it's not for me, it's for my dad! 118 00:04:11,985 --> 00:04:13,754 Oh. Yeahhh, [bleep] him. 119 00:04:13,787 --> 00:04:15,088 He is a dick -- 120 00:04:15,122 --> 00:04:16,156 No, I built it! 121 00:04:16,189 --> 00:04:17,458 It's for -- I was... 122 00:04:17,491 --> 00:04:20,127 Wait a minute -- people think I'm a dick? 123 00:04:20,160 --> 00:04:21,462 Who thinks I'm a dick? 124 00:04:21,495 --> 00:04:22,830 Oh, just, you know, some people 125 00:04:22,863 --> 00:04:23,997 because if your parents loved you more, 126 00:04:24,031 --> 00:04:25,999 we'd be going home right now. 127 00:04:26,634 --> 00:04:28,669 Hey, hey. I didn't -- 128 00:04:28,702 --> 00:04:30,103 I mean, that's the truth, but I... 129 00:04:30,137 --> 00:04:31,972 Look, both of us have done things we regret. 130 00:04:32,005 --> 00:04:34,007 You bringing the pirates to the island, 131 00:04:34,041 --> 00:04:36,810 me not killing that Nazi sooner -- 132 00:04:36,844 --> 00:04:38,979 You murder someone, Steve. It's not the same. 133 00:04:39,012 --> 00:04:40,648 Oh, it's pretty similar. No. 134 00:04:40,681 --> 00:04:42,616 Anyway, the others -- they hate us for it. 135 00:04:42,650 --> 00:04:43,951 You can feel the jealousy. 136 00:04:43,984 --> 00:04:45,819 I think you and I should team up. 137 00:04:45,853 --> 00:04:47,821 What about this -- we get off the island 138 00:04:47,855 --> 00:04:50,458 and go into business together! 139 00:04:50,491 --> 00:04:51,659 We make a billion dollars 140 00:04:51,692 --> 00:04:53,293 and we shove it in their fat faces! 141 00:04:53,327 --> 00:04:55,696 I mean, with my brains, and your money -- 142 00:04:55,729 --> 00:04:57,665 put it this way, I've got a lot of good ideas! 143 00:04:57,698 --> 00:04:59,099 Are you about to "Shark Tank" me? 144 00:04:59,132 --> 00:05:00,801 Please don't "Shark Tank" me at my father's grave -- 145 00:05:00,834 --> 00:05:03,471 I don't know what that means, but picture this. 146 00:05:03,504 --> 00:05:04,838 Oh, Jesus. I'm a man. 147 00:05:04,872 --> 00:05:06,807 I've been hard-working all day. 148 00:05:06,840 --> 00:05:09,142 I've just got home. What do I need? 149 00:05:09,176 --> 00:05:12,646 A big bowl of steamy, creamy risotto. 150 00:05:12,680 --> 00:05:14,615 But who's got time for all that stirring?! 151 00:05:14,648 --> 00:05:16,484 Oh, kids will be home soon. 152 00:05:16,517 --> 00:05:19,119 I give you "RisoGurt." 153 00:05:19,152 --> 00:05:21,689 It's like Go-GURT... but for risotto! 154 00:05:23,357 --> 00:05:26,494 You think people want hot, portable risotto? 155 00:05:26,527 --> 00:05:28,896 Also, is there yogurt in it? Of course not! 156 00:05:28,929 --> 00:05:31,665 It's one-hundred percent steamy, creamy risotto. 157 00:05:31,699 --> 00:05:33,367 Then why is it called "RisoGurt?" 158 00:05:37,838 --> 00:05:39,339 I've got other ideas -- 159 00:05:39,373 --> 00:05:40,674 I'm gonna walk away now. 160 00:05:40,708 --> 00:05:42,142 Well, mull it over! 161 00:05:42,175 --> 00:05:43,844 We'll crack it, you know! 162 00:05:43,877 --> 00:05:48,015 [ Dance music playing ] 163 00:05:48,048 --> 00:05:49,850 This is ridiculous! They're using our shelters! 164 00:05:49,883 --> 00:05:53,020 They're eating our hot dogs! They're not our hot dogs. 165 00:05:53,053 --> 00:05:55,889 They're on our island. They're our hot dogs. 166 00:05:55,923 --> 00:05:58,058 We rule this realm! 167 00:05:58,091 --> 00:05:59,660 Hi. 168 00:05:59,693 --> 00:06:01,028 [ Blows raspberry ] Hi! 169 00:06:01,061 --> 00:06:02,596 What? 170 00:06:02,630 --> 00:06:03,864 [ Smooches, blows raspberry ] 171 00:06:03,897 --> 00:06:05,065 Guys, I'm worried about Florence. 172 00:06:05,098 --> 00:06:06,434 I think that the lack of sleep's 173 00:06:06,467 --> 00:06:08,536 starting to get to her. What's happening? 174 00:06:08,569 --> 00:06:10,170 That's it! 175 00:06:10,203 --> 00:06:12,205 I'm getting this shit turned down! 176 00:06:12,239 --> 00:06:13,607 What? How? 177 00:06:13,641 --> 00:06:15,709 Uh, I'm an agent, remember? 178 00:06:15,743 --> 00:06:16,710 I'll negotiate. 179 00:06:16,744 --> 00:06:18,912 Uh, they have guns. 180 00:06:18,946 --> 00:06:21,281 And I've got the magic mouthpiece, baby! 181 00:06:21,314 --> 00:06:22,349 Trust me. 182 00:06:22,382 --> 00:06:24,051 I was trained by the best. 183 00:06:24,084 --> 00:06:27,921 Does the name Greta Liebowitz mean anything to you guys? 184 00:06:30,458 --> 00:06:31,725 Seriously? 185 00:06:31,759 --> 00:06:33,260 "Game On" Greta? 186 00:06:34,562 --> 00:06:36,730 Oh, crack the trades, you guys! 187 00:06:36,764 --> 00:06:38,031 Greta Liebowitz is the single 188 00:06:38,065 --> 00:06:39,933 greatest sports agent of all time. 189 00:06:39,967 --> 00:06:43,003 No, I'm not mad. I'm furious! 190 00:06:46,840 --> 00:06:49,276 She taught me everything I know... 191 00:06:49,309 --> 00:06:51,078 Lemme work my magic. 192 00:06:51,111 --> 00:06:53,681 I'll have 'em eating right out of my asshole. 193 00:06:55,783 --> 00:06:58,251 I don't think that's the phrase at all. 194 00:07:01,955 --> 00:07:03,290 * Money, money, money, money, money * 195 00:07:03,323 --> 00:07:06,494 What's up, bros? 196 00:07:06,527 --> 00:07:07,961 Oh, hell yeah! 197 00:07:07,995 --> 00:07:09,329 You know, I love music. 198 00:07:09,362 --> 00:07:10,831 [ Music turns off ] What do you want? 199 00:07:10,864 --> 00:07:11,999 I just wanted to come by 200 00:07:12,032 --> 00:07:13,133 and say whattup, you know. 201 00:07:13,166 --> 00:07:14,768 I am loving these jams. 202 00:07:14,802 --> 00:07:16,003 I'm back there like, 203 00:07:16,036 --> 00:07:17,137 "I should be chin deep 204 00:07:17,170 --> 00:07:19,139 in some strip club titties." 205 00:07:19,172 --> 00:07:21,008 You guys know what I'm talking about, playboys? 206 00:07:21,041 --> 00:07:22,442 No. 207 00:07:22,476 --> 00:07:23,577 O-kay. 208 00:07:23,611 --> 00:07:25,278 I just wanted to see if you guys 209 00:07:25,312 --> 00:07:28,148 could just keep the vols on your speaks 210 00:07:28,181 --> 00:07:29,950 down where they are now. 211 00:07:29,983 --> 00:07:32,119 You know, not for me, you know, I love it, you know? 212 00:07:32,152 --> 00:07:33,754 It's like pump, pump, pump it up! 213 00:07:33,787 --> 00:07:35,122 It's more so for my friends, you know, 214 00:07:35,155 --> 00:07:36,456 they're just a bunch of narcs and pussies -- 215 00:07:36,490 --> 00:07:40,027 Not gonna happen. My men deserve some R&R. 216 00:07:40,060 --> 00:07:41,995 Also, I don't like you. 217 00:07:43,797 --> 00:07:45,866 But I do like your watch. 218 00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:48,035 This? 219 00:07:48,068 --> 00:07:49,202 This is nothing, really. 220 00:07:49,236 --> 00:07:51,138 It's not even -- I'll take it. 221 00:07:51,171 --> 00:07:52,806 Along with the rest of your stuff. 222 00:07:52,840 --> 00:07:55,308 What?! Go bring their luggage. 223 00:07:55,342 --> 00:07:57,477 All of it. 224 00:07:57,511 --> 00:07:59,146 It's mine now. 225 00:07:59,179 --> 00:08:01,815 ** 226 00:08:07,187 --> 00:08:10,658 Nice work, Pack. You somehow made things worse. 227 00:08:10,691 --> 00:08:11,792 [ Spits ] 228 00:08:11,825 --> 00:08:12,993 I don't want to sound dramatic, 229 00:08:13,026 --> 00:08:14,461 but if I don't have my dry shampoo 230 00:08:14,494 --> 00:08:16,897 I will light these [bleep] pirates on fire! 231 00:08:16,930 --> 00:08:18,231 Okay? Okay. Okay, baby. 232 00:08:18,265 --> 00:08:19,533 It's gonna be all right, all right? 233 00:08:19,567 --> 00:08:21,068 The important things are safe. 234 00:08:21,101 --> 00:08:22,870 I hid my golf clubs in the jungle. 235 00:08:22,903 --> 00:08:24,137 [ Laughs ] 236 00:08:24,171 --> 00:08:26,039 Todd is always one step ahead! 237 00:08:26,073 --> 00:08:27,875 Pack, I should warn you -- 238 00:08:27,908 --> 00:08:30,811 sleep deprivation makes me sexually aggressive. 239 00:08:30,844 --> 00:08:33,380 And I will be taking it out on you. 240 00:08:35,849 --> 00:08:37,484 Oh, my God. 241 00:08:37,517 --> 00:08:39,987 Guys, I'm sorry, okay!? I don't know what happened. 242 00:08:40,020 --> 00:08:41,889 I thought you were gonna go "work your magic"? 243 00:08:41,922 --> 00:08:44,524 I did! It didn't work at all. 244 00:08:44,558 --> 00:08:45,693 I need something else. 245 00:08:45,726 --> 00:08:46,760 I need... 246 00:08:46,794 --> 00:08:48,762 an ass in a hat. 247 00:08:50,297 --> 00:08:52,866 What? Oh, God. I am so tired. 248 00:08:52,900 --> 00:08:54,034 What's the phrase? 249 00:08:54,067 --> 00:08:55,368 Ace in the hole? 250 00:08:55,402 --> 00:08:57,004 Ace in the hole! 251 00:08:57,037 --> 00:08:58,572 What's in the box? 252 00:08:58,606 --> 00:09:01,174 Our ace in the hole. Nice. 253 00:09:01,208 --> 00:09:02,342 Here. 254 00:09:02,375 --> 00:09:03,410 Put these on. 255 00:09:03,443 --> 00:09:05,846 I don't wear glasses. You do now. 256 00:09:05,879 --> 00:09:07,748 Your face looks dumb without them. 257 00:09:07,781 --> 00:09:09,583 Open. Oh, yeah. 258 00:09:14,221 --> 00:09:15,422 There he is. 259 00:09:15,455 --> 00:09:16,957 Game on. 260 00:09:16,990 --> 00:09:20,928 Oh, my gosh! It's my man Chris Bosh! 261 00:09:20,961 --> 00:09:22,262 Greta, what's up? 262 00:09:22,295 --> 00:09:23,897 This is my main man, Pack. 263 00:09:23,931 --> 00:09:25,065 Sit. 264 00:09:25,098 --> 00:09:26,299 He's gonna run this town someday. 265 00:09:26,333 --> 00:09:28,235 Pshhh, ain't no thang but a G-strang. 266 00:09:28,268 --> 00:09:30,370 Welcome to the butt cracks of the business. 267 00:09:30,403 --> 00:09:32,272 You know all about that, don't you, big dog? 268 00:09:32,305 --> 00:09:33,907 Hit me. 269 00:09:33,941 --> 00:09:35,075 Anyway, listen. 270 00:09:35,108 --> 00:09:36,276 I don't have a lot of time. 271 00:09:36,309 --> 00:09:37,577 Me, LeBron, and Dwyane -- 272 00:09:37,611 --> 00:09:39,246 We got laser tag right after this, so... 273 00:09:39,279 --> 00:09:41,248 Pack? 274 00:09:41,281 --> 00:09:42,750 Baby boy, let me talk to you for a minute. 275 00:09:42,783 --> 00:09:44,051 You got money. 276 00:09:44,084 --> 00:09:45,753 I got money. 277 00:09:45,786 --> 00:09:47,587 But this isn't about money. 278 00:09:47,621 --> 00:09:49,122 It's about you. 279 00:09:49,156 --> 00:09:51,058 You need reps that understand 280 00:09:51,091 --> 00:09:52,893 the entirety of Chris Bosh. 281 00:09:52,926 --> 00:09:54,094 How you think. How you feel. 282 00:09:54,127 --> 00:09:55,629 How you eat. How you [bleep] 283 00:09:55,663 --> 00:09:56,897 What? 284 00:09:56,930 --> 00:09:58,265 That's too much. Was that too much? 285 00:09:58,298 --> 00:10:00,901 Bosh-y, when I see you on the basketball court, 286 00:10:00,934 --> 00:10:03,003 I do not see a basketball star. 287 00:10:03,036 --> 00:10:05,605 I see... a basketball samurai. 288 00:10:05,639 --> 00:10:07,340 Like a samurai warrior? 289 00:10:07,374 --> 00:10:09,442 Because I love samurai shit. 290 00:10:09,476 --> 00:10:12,445 And Pack, what does every samurai need? 291 00:10:12,479 --> 00:10:14,081 Throwing stars! 292 00:10:14,114 --> 00:10:16,416 Nope. I'm talking about what's in the box. 293 00:10:16,449 --> 00:10:17,818 Nunchucks! 294 00:10:17,851 --> 00:10:20,320 No. What does a samurai use? 295 00:10:20,353 --> 00:10:21,454 A sword? 296 00:10:21,488 --> 00:10:23,056 Exactly. 297 00:10:24,825 --> 00:10:26,159 Whoa! 298 00:10:27,895 --> 00:10:28,996 Can I keep it? 299 00:10:29,029 --> 00:10:30,097 I insist. 300 00:10:30,130 --> 00:10:31,598 It's a real Massamune. 301 00:10:31,631 --> 00:10:35,602 It's the best in the world. Just like you! 302 00:10:35,635 --> 00:10:38,105 [ Whispering ] It's fake. I bought it on eBay. Nice. 303 00:10:38,138 --> 00:10:41,174 LeBron and Dwyane and are gonna shit! 304 00:10:44,011 --> 00:10:46,914 I gotta find a samurai sword. 305 00:10:47,748 --> 00:10:49,182 What? 306 00:10:52,853 --> 00:10:53,987 Got another idea! Ah! 307 00:10:54,021 --> 00:10:56,156 Steve! My wiener is out, man! 308 00:10:56,189 --> 00:10:58,792 What are two things every modern woman loves? 309 00:10:58,826 --> 00:11:00,193 Exercising... 310 00:11:00,227 --> 00:11:02,029 and heavy desserts! 311 00:11:02,062 --> 00:11:05,198 Introducing "Pie-lates!" 312 00:11:05,232 --> 00:11:07,500 You want women to eat a bunch of pie 313 00:11:07,534 --> 00:11:09,837 before immediately doing pilates? 314 00:11:09,870 --> 00:11:11,538 Exactly. Making money on both ends! 315 00:11:11,571 --> 00:11:15,642 Steve, I don't want to be business partners with you. 316 00:11:15,675 --> 00:11:18,378 That's just because we haven't come up with the right idea! 317 00:11:20,047 --> 00:11:21,915 Danny, I've got it! 318 00:11:21,949 --> 00:11:23,050 "Hammer-In-An-Hour!" 319 00:11:23,083 --> 00:11:24,417 We get any hammer, anywhere, 320 00:11:24,451 --> 00:11:26,754 in one hour flat. Why a hammer? 321 00:11:26,787 --> 00:11:28,688 And why an hour? 322 00:11:28,722 --> 00:11:30,223 "Euth-an-easy." 323 00:11:30,257 --> 00:11:32,192 Euthanasia, made easy -- 324 00:11:32,225 --> 00:11:35,428 Oh, my God. Steve. These are all very bad ideas. 325 00:11:35,462 --> 00:11:38,531 We could combine "Euth-an-easy" with "Hammer-In-An-Hour." 326 00:11:38,565 --> 00:11:40,700 Get -- Stop talking to me! 327 00:11:40,734 --> 00:11:43,570 [ Dance music blares ] 328 00:11:43,603 --> 00:11:45,438 Hey, everyone! 329 00:11:45,472 --> 00:11:48,742 I have bad news, and I'm told I have poor bedside manners, 330 00:11:48,776 --> 00:11:51,378 so I only want to shout this at you idiots once -- 331 00:11:51,411 --> 00:11:54,447 this god-awful music is scaring away the boars. 332 00:11:54,481 --> 00:11:55,282 What? 333 00:11:55,315 --> 00:11:58,051 Yes! No more boars! 334 00:11:58,085 --> 00:11:59,219 No, Chet, that's bad. 335 00:11:59,252 --> 00:12:01,088 We eat the boars. 336 00:12:01,121 --> 00:12:02,222 Holy shit. 337 00:12:02,255 --> 00:12:03,957 If we don't convince the pirates 338 00:12:03,991 --> 00:12:08,228 to turn down the music, everyone but Pack will starve. 339 00:12:08,261 --> 00:12:10,197 Wait. Why won't I starve? 340 00:12:10,230 --> 00:12:11,398 I already told you -- 341 00:12:11,431 --> 00:12:13,100 I'm gonna [bleep] you to death. 342 00:12:13,133 --> 00:12:15,635 Guh. Enough! 343 00:12:16,569 --> 00:12:20,607 Back in the real world, if your neighbor makes your life suck, 344 00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:24,411 you either call the cops, which is the coward's way, or -- 345 00:12:24,444 --> 00:12:27,714 you grab a golf club, maybe a 3- or a 4-iron, 346 00:12:27,747 --> 00:12:29,216 possibly a low wood, 347 00:12:29,249 --> 00:12:32,085 and you smash every window 348 00:12:32,119 --> 00:12:35,122 on their precious cherry red Land Rover! 349 00:12:35,155 --> 00:12:36,990 I called dibs on that color. 350 00:12:37,024 --> 00:12:39,092 I called dibs on red! 351 00:12:39,126 --> 00:12:40,427 Let's fight! 352 00:12:40,460 --> 00:12:42,595 [ Cheering ] 353 00:12:42,629 --> 00:12:46,967 Hey, guys, if we fight them, we will be killed. 354 00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:50,103 At least we'll go down swingin', baby! 355 00:12:50,137 --> 00:12:52,806 [ Cheering ] 356 00:12:56,143 --> 00:12:59,212 Smash! [ Laughs ] 357 00:12:59,479 --> 00:13:01,381 Yeah. 358 00:13:03,016 --> 00:13:05,185 Wait! No one has to die! 359 00:13:05,218 --> 00:13:07,320 I got this. 360 00:13:08,388 --> 00:13:11,458 Man, you took the wind right outta my sail! 361 00:13:11,491 --> 00:13:16,696 [ Drum and bass music blaring ] 362 00:13:16,729 --> 00:13:17,965 [ Music turns off ] 363 00:13:17,998 --> 00:13:19,299 What are you doing back here? 364 00:13:19,332 --> 00:13:21,969 I feel like we got off on the wrong foot. 365 00:13:22,002 --> 00:13:27,274 So I brought you guys some... 366 00:13:27,307 --> 00:13:28,375 golf clubs! 367 00:13:28,408 --> 00:13:29,877 And why would we give a shit 368 00:13:29,910 --> 00:13:31,011 about some clubs? 369 00:13:31,044 --> 00:13:32,379 Because these are 370 00:13:32,412 --> 00:13:35,482 the most valuable things on the island. 371 00:13:35,515 --> 00:13:37,951 These clubs were once used by 372 00:13:37,985 --> 00:13:41,989 17-time Masters champion and noted sex addict... 373 00:13:42,022 --> 00:13:44,357 Tiger Woods! 374 00:13:47,260 --> 00:13:48,561 I love Tiger! 375 00:13:48,595 --> 00:13:49,729 Oh, shit. 376 00:13:49,762 --> 00:13:50,730 Tiger's the best, man. 377 00:13:50,763 --> 00:13:53,666 I'd have shot his ass if said Ernie Els. 378 00:13:53,700 --> 00:13:55,668 Game on. 379 00:13:59,439 --> 00:14:01,041 Ooh! Let it fly. 380 00:14:01,074 --> 00:14:02,709 What is this, Pebble Beach? 381 00:14:02,742 --> 00:14:04,144 [ Laughs ] 382 00:14:04,177 --> 00:14:05,412 So good. 383 00:14:05,445 --> 00:14:07,180 You mind if I grab one of these cold ones? 384 00:14:07,214 --> 00:14:08,348 Thanks, bud. 385 00:14:08,381 --> 00:14:09,716 So, here's the sitch -- [ Bottle opens ] 386 00:14:09,749 --> 00:14:12,319 you guys are on the island, we're on the island -- 387 00:14:12,352 --> 00:14:13,653 I'd like us all to be friends. 388 00:14:13,686 --> 00:14:16,689 Trust me. You get these genuine Tigey clubs 389 00:14:16,723 --> 00:14:18,225 out on the black market? 390 00:14:18,258 --> 00:14:19,859 I mean, move over, Jack Sparrow! 391 00:14:19,893 --> 00:14:21,929 Disney's gonna start making movies about you guys. 392 00:14:21,962 --> 00:14:25,165 You're the captains now! When exactly did Tiger use these clubs? 393 00:14:25,198 --> 00:14:26,666 Oh, just on this little course, 394 00:14:26,699 --> 00:14:28,668 I don't know if you've ever heard of it -- Augusta! 395 00:14:28,701 --> 00:14:30,603 Whoa! That's where they play The Masters. Are you kidding me? 396 00:14:30,637 --> 00:14:32,272 It's a tradition unlike any other. 397 00:14:32,305 --> 00:14:33,573 And why do you have them? 398 00:14:33,606 --> 00:14:35,943 Because Tigey's a close personal friend, baby! 399 00:14:35,976 --> 00:14:37,277 What? I'm a sports agent. 400 00:14:37,310 --> 00:14:38,678 I know all the greats. 401 00:14:38,711 --> 00:14:41,348 Aaron Rodgers, Serena Williams, Chris Bosh -- 402 00:14:41,381 --> 00:14:42,615 You're Chris Bosh's agent? 403 00:14:42,649 --> 00:14:45,953 Hell yeah! Me and Bosh-dog are hella tight! 404 00:14:45,986 --> 00:14:47,887 No, you're not. 405 00:14:47,921 --> 00:14:51,258 What? Chris Bosh's agent is Greta Liebowitz. 406 00:14:52,125 --> 00:14:53,793 You guys know "Game On" Greta? 407 00:14:53,826 --> 00:14:55,062 You're pirates! 408 00:14:55,095 --> 00:14:56,529 And what? Whoa. 409 00:14:56,563 --> 00:14:58,398 Pirates can't watch sports? 410 00:14:58,431 --> 00:14:59,466 We can't have hobbies? 411 00:14:59,499 --> 00:15:01,401 Don't stereotype us, bitch! 412 00:15:01,434 --> 00:15:04,437 Also, bad news, it was a huge story, bro. 413 00:15:04,471 --> 00:15:06,639 It was all over ESPN for weeks. 414 00:15:06,673 --> 00:15:07,774 What story? 415 00:15:07,807 --> 00:15:08,808 Oh! 416 00:15:08,841 --> 00:15:10,110 He doesn't know! 417 00:15:10,143 --> 00:15:11,644 [ Laughs ] Yo, my man. 418 00:15:11,678 --> 00:15:14,547 Chris Bosh slit his own throat with a samurai sword. 419 00:15:14,581 --> 00:15:15,882 He "Kill Bill'd" himself. 420 00:15:15,915 --> 00:15:17,284 Whaaaaat?! 421 00:15:19,119 --> 00:15:21,788 ** 422 00:15:34,367 --> 00:15:38,171 [ Slice, thud ] 423 00:15:38,205 --> 00:15:39,939 Bosh! 424 00:15:40,140 --> 00:15:41,474 [ Gasping ] Samurai. 425 00:15:41,508 --> 00:15:43,343 Bandana: But that samurai sword was fake, 426 00:15:43,376 --> 00:15:45,345 so they put that lying bitch in prison for fraud. 427 00:15:45,378 --> 00:15:48,548 Greta Liebowitz is doing deals in jail. 428 00:15:49,983 --> 00:15:51,118 Hey, cop. 429 00:15:51,151 --> 00:15:52,452 Oh. Hey, buddy. 430 00:15:52,485 --> 00:15:56,289 Man. Sure hope Pack can pull this off, huh? 431 00:15:56,323 --> 00:15:57,757 Yeah. Me too. 432 00:15:57,790 --> 00:16:00,460 It's a real shame he doesn't have the "Limitless" pill. 433 00:16:00,493 --> 00:16:01,261 Hmm. 434 00:16:01,294 --> 00:16:02,462 What? 435 00:16:02,495 --> 00:16:04,497 The pill from that movie, "Limitless" 436 00:16:04,531 --> 00:16:06,499 starring Bradley Cooper, where 437 00:16:06,533 --> 00:16:09,302 I think he takes a pill and gets all smart and junk? 438 00:16:09,336 --> 00:16:12,005 God, wouldn't it just be so cool if, like, 439 00:16:12,039 --> 00:16:14,807 that pill existed... in real life? 440 00:16:14,841 --> 00:16:16,376 Yeah, I guess it would be pretty cool. 441 00:16:16,409 --> 00:16:17,444 Aha! Ah! 442 00:16:17,477 --> 00:16:18,511 I knew it! Jesus! 443 00:16:18,545 --> 00:16:20,047 That was my idea! 444 00:16:20,080 --> 00:16:22,615 What, you think Chet came up with the pill from "Limitless"?! 445 00:16:22,649 --> 00:16:24,317 [ Laughs ] No way. It was me! 446 00:16:24,351 --> 00:16:26,819 And you said it was cool! I said it was pretty cool. 447 00:16:26,853 --> 00:16:28,055 You didn't wanna team up with me 448 00:16:28,088 --> 00:16:29,356 because I'm an idiot! 449 00:16:29,389 --> 00:16:31,958 But you like my ideas, and Chet just proved it! 450 00:16:31,991 --> 00:16:33,693 Yeah, I did. Thanks! 451 00:16:33,726 --> 00:16:36,363 So now we can be partners! We will never be partners. 452 00:16:36,396 --> 00:16:38,131 And it's not because you're an idiot, 453 00:16:38,165 --> 00:16:39,932 it's because you're a murderer! 454 00:16:41,934 --> 00:16:43,170 Oh, yeah? 455 00:16:43,203 --> 00:16:45,672 Well, you'd know, 'cause you're a murderer, too, Danny. 456 00:16:45,705 --> 00:16:48,508 Because you murdered all of us! 457 00:16:51,578 --> 00:16:53,680 Do you think it's my fault that we're all stuck here? 458 00:16:53,713 --> 00:16:55,014 I don't really know, man. 459 00:16:55,048 --> 00:16:57,250 I haven't really thought about it like that. 460 00:16:57,284 --> 00:16:58,351 But yeah, I guess so! 461 00:16:58,385 --> 00:17:00,220 [ Laughing ] Yeah! 462 00:17:00,253 --> 00:17:02,021 That sucks. 463 00:17:02,055 --> 00:17:04,091 That sucks! 464 00:17:04,124 --> 00:17:05,892 Later, Danny. 465 00:17:09,896 --> 00:17:12,365 She taught me everything I know... 466 00:17:12,399 --> 00:17:13,766 She taught you to lie. 467 00:17:13,800 --> 00:17:16,536 Wait. Wait. These aren't Tiger Woods' golf clubs? 468 00:17:16,569 --> 00:17:18,205 What are you, some sort of a sociopath? 469 00:17:18,238 --> 00:17:19,739 Do you know what pirates do to liars? 470 00:17:19,772 --> 00:17:22,209 I-I could guess, but I don't want to stereotype -- 471 00:17:22,242 --> 00:17:23,276 Capris! 472 00:17:23,310 --> 00:17:24,611 Show him. 473 00:17:24,644 --> 00:17:27,747 Oh, my God! You cut his tongue out! 474 00:17:27,780 --> 00:17:30,417 That's way worse than what I was gonna guess! 475 00:17:30,450 --> 00:17:32,452 Anything you want to say 476 00:17:32,485 --> 00:17:34,654 before you never speak again? 477 00:17:36,956 --> 00:17:38,057 Yeah. 478 00:17:40,593 --> 00:17:42,762 Okay. Here's the truth. 479 00:17:42,795 --> 00:17:45,232 We outnumber you five-to-one. 480 00:17:45,265 --> 00:17:47,567 We thought if we left you alone, you'd leave us alone. 481 00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:49,068 But you didn't want to play it like that. 482 00:17:49,102 --> 00:17:51,138 So if you don't want an uprising on your hands, 483 00:17:51,171 --> 00:17:52,839 learn to share the island. 484 00:17:58,245 --> 00:17:59,746 We'll turn the music down. 485 00:17:59,779 --> 00:18:01,314 We also want our stuff back. 486 00:18:01,348 --> 00:18:02,882 I can't do that. And I can't go back 487 00:18:02,915 --> 00:18:05,918 to my people empty-handed again. 488 00:18:05,952 --> 00:18:08,588 What do you propose? 489 00:18:12,292 --> 00:18:14,761 ** 490 00:18:19,632 --> 00:18:20,767 How you doing? 491 00:18:20,800 --> 00:18:22,068 You shouldn't be seen with me. 492 00:18:22,101 --> 00:18:23,770 I don't want people to hate you, too. 493 00:18:23,803 --> 00:18:25,338 What are you talking about? 494 00:18:25,372 --> 00:18:26,606 It's my fault we're stuck here 495 00:18:26,639 --> 00:18:29,509 with the dead birds and pirates -- 496 00:18:29,542 --> 00:18:30,977 See that boat? 497 00:18:31,010 --> 00:18:32,745 That's our way off this island. 498 00:18:32,779 --> 00:18:34,481 I don't know how. I don't know when. 499 00:18:34,514 --> 00:18:38,251 But as long as that boat is here, we have hope. 500 00:18:38,285 --> 00:18:40,287 It's because of you. 501 00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:42,289 I guess you're right. Yeah. 502 00:18:42,322 --> 00:18:45,091 Man, I gotta stop talking to Steve. Talking to Steve? 503 00:18:45,124 --> 00:18:47,794 Uh, yeah, you should stop talking to Steve. 504 00:18:47,827 --> 00:18:49,296 That guy is the worst. 505 00:18:49,329 --> 00:18:51,631 Even before he killed Turdhole. 506 00:18:51,664 --> 00:18:53,833 I mean, Steve wears socks with Tevas. 507 00:18:53,866 --> 00:18:55,368 He should go to jail for that. 508 00:18:55,402 --> 00:18:56,936 That's should be, like, 15 to life. 509 00:18:56,969 --> 00:18:58,638 Steve always has a mustache. 510 00:18:58,671 --> 00:19:00,540 I've never seen him shave. What is that about? 511 00:19:00,573 --> 00:19:01,808 Where's he get all the stuff? 512 00:19:01,841 --> 00:19:03,009 Nobody else has the stuff. 513 00:19:03,042 --> 00:19:05,011 Everybody else looks like me or you. 514 00:19:05,044 --> 00:19:07,380 He's always got a perfect mustache. 515 00:19:07,414 --> 00:19:09,148 That's weird. Steve is weird. 516 00:19:09,182 --> 00:19:10,550 Something's not right with that guy, 517 00:19:10,583 --> 00:19:12,452 and it's not just the socks and the Tevas, 518 00:19:12,485 --> 00:19:14,821 it's not the murder, it's the accent... 519 00:19:20,159 --> 00:19:21,694 Oh, hi, Danny. 520 00:19:22,562 --> 00:19:24,897 I owe you an apology. 521 00:19:24,931 --> 00:19:27,767 I know how it feels to be falsely called a murderer. 522 00:19:30,237 --> 00:19:31,404 Anyway. 523 00:19:31,438 --> 00:19:32,905 I'm...sorry. 524 00:19:32,939 --> 00:19:36,175 I'll let you be alone with your dad. 525 00:19:36,209 --> 00:19:37,877 You know my dad... 526 00:19:37,910 --> 00:19:41,214 he thought I was a big, fat idiot. 527 00:19:41,248 --> 00:19:42,849 Now matter what I did. 528 00:19:42,882 --> 00:19:47,254 So I guess as a way to give him a big "F-U," 529 00:19:47,287 --> 00:19:48,855 if we get off this island, 530 00:19:48,888 --> 00:19:52,191 I'd be happy to invest in "RisoGurt." 531 00:19:52,225 --> 00:19:53,493 Really?! 532 00:19:53,526 --> 00:19:54,561 Yeah. 533 00:19:54,594 --> 00:19:55,895 Oh, wow! 534 00:19:55,928 --> 00:19:57,664 I was thinking we could change the name. 535 00:19:57,697 --> 00:19:59,899 Maybe "Ris-o-Go" -- No. 536 00:19:59,932 --> 00:20:01,334 Go? Go where? 537 00:20:01,368 --> 00:20:03,202 Well, you're taking it on the go. 538 00:20:03,236 --> 00:20:04,404 Nah, it's stupid. 539 00:20:04,437 --> 00:20:05,572 No deal. 540 00:20:05,605 --> 00:20:07,707 No, it's "RisoGurt," or I'm out. 541 00:20:07,740 --> 00:20:09,208 Uh, okay. Fine. Whatever. 542 00:20:09,242 --> 00:20:10,377 "RisoGurt" it is. 543 00:20:10,410 --> 00:20:11,778 [ Laughing ] Oh. 544 00:20:11,811 --> 00:20:13,713 Yeah! Oh! Okay, okay. 545 00:20:13,746 --> 00:20:15,181 Oh, there it is. 546 00:20:15,214 --> 00:20:16,549 Partners! 547 00:20:16,583 --> 00:20:18,084 The Gurt Brothers! 548 00:20:24,257 --> 00:20:26,593 It's Pack! 549 00:20:28,428 --> 00:20:29,796 Pack's coming back! 550 00:20:29,829 --> 00:20:32,131 Everybody, Pack's back! 551 00:20:32,164 --> 00:20:34,601 And he brought buckets of brews! 552 00:20:37,103 --> 00:20:39,071 There's no more music. 553 00:20:39,105 --> 00:20:40,607 There's no more music! 554 00:20:40,640 --> 00:20:41,974 There's no more music! 555 00:20:42,008 --> 00:20:46,413 [ Cheering ] 556 00:20:46,446 --> 00:20:47,580 Yes! 557 00:20:47,614 --> 00:20:49,682 You did it, buddy! I did it! 558 00:20:51,318 --> 00:20:53,252 Where's your glasses? 559 00:20:53,286 --> 00:20:55,254 I threw 'em in the ocean. 560 00:20:55,288 --> 00:20:57,824 I don't think I'm gonna be needing those anymore... 561 00:20:59,459 --> 00:21:00,760 What?