1 00:00:02,002 --> 00:00:02,970 Previously on "wrecked"... Danny, get away from me. 2 00:00:03,003 --> 00:00:04,672 I'm not gonna leave you. You're my friend. 3 00:00:04,705 --> 00:00:07,641 I am not your friend! We are just stuck here together! 4 00:00:07,675 --> 00:00:10,878 Did you eat someone out there? I was just trying to survive. 5 00:00:10,911 --> 00:00:13,323 No one can ever know about this. They'll think you're a monster. 6 00:00:13,347 --> 00:00:15,387 You just can't stand the idea of me being in charge. 7 00:00:15,416 --> 00:00:17,951 In charge of what? You're playing make-believe here. 8 00:00:17,985 --> 00:00:19,953 Steve's gone insane. I know. 9 00:00:19,987 --> 00:00:21,755 You have to get me off this island. 10 00:00:21,789 --> 00:00:23,824 What do I do? What about Owen's boat? 11 00:00:23,857 --> 00:00:25,159 Emma! What? 12 00:00:25,193 --> 00:00:27,795 Oh, my god. There she is! Emma! 13 00:00:27,828 --> 00:00:30,498 I'll be fine! Go back! I'm sorry! 14 00:00:30,531 --> 00:00:32,666 I got to go back for Danny. I'm going with you. 15 00:00:32,700 --> 00:00:35,269 Let's go save this island. 16 00:00:35,303 --> 00:00:39,140 Karen: Look! They're getting away! 17 00:00:39,973 --> 00:00:43,177 [ Groans ] Holy shit! 18 00:00:43,211 --> 00:00:45,012 Oh, my god! 19 00:00:45,045 --> 00:00:46,847 The son of a bitch shot me! 20 00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:48,782 [ Screaming ] 21 00:00:49,617 --> 00:00:53,121 No one else leaves my island! 22 00:00:53,154 --> 00:00:55,022 Do you hear me?! 23 00:00:55,055 --> 00:00:57,125 No one!! 24 00:00:57,158 --> 00:00:58,526 Todd! Todd! 25 00:00:58,559 --> 00:01:01,195 Step back! Todd! 26 00:01:01,229 --> 00:01:02,630 What are you doing? 27 00:01:02,663 --> 00:01:04,698 I'm protecting our new life here! 28 00:01:04,732 --> 00:01:06,400 Don't you see? 29 00:01:06,434 --> 00:01:07,701 This is it! 30 00:01:07,735 --> 00:01:10,271 It's never gonna get better than this! 31 00:01:10,304 --> 00:01:12,373 There's nothing for us out there! 32 00:01:12,406 --> 00:01:15,543 We're home! 33 00:01:15,576 --> 00:01:16,844 [ Panting ] Guys! 34 00:01:16,877 --> 00:01:18,279 I heard a commotion! 35 00:01:18,312 --> 00:01:21,549 I wanted to make sure everyone was okay. 36 00:01:21,582 --> 00:01:23,417 Oh, my god, I'm out of breath. Hoo! 37 00:01:23,451 --> 00:01:25,719 Whoo, running in the sand really got me there. 38 00:01:25,753 --> 00:01:27,288 I'm sorry. 39 00:01:27,321 --> 00:01:29,790 Listen, I know I said i wasn't gonna come back, 40 00:01:29,823 --> 00:01:31,525 and yet, here's Danny, right? 41 00:01:31,559 --> 00:01:34,128 I am so sorry, everyone. 42 00:01:34,162 --> 00:01:38,065 Oh, Steve has my gun. 43 00:01:38,098 --> 00:01:40,334 [ Dramatic music plays ] 44 00:01:42,403 --> 00:01:44,572 Danny. 45 00:01:44,605 --> 00:01:47,408 Really good to see you, Steve. How are things? 46 00:01:47,441 --> 00:01:48,942 ** 47 00:01:48,976 --> 00:01:51,011 Please don't shoot me. 48 00:01:53,113 --> 00:01:57,885 People of the island, before us swings a traitor. 49 00:01:57,918 --> 00:01:59,253 Any last words? 50 00:01:59,287 --> 00:02:00,921 Owen was right about you. 51 00:02:00,954 --> 00:02:02,323 You're a monster. 52 00:02:02,356 --> 00:02:04,392 You're a piece of shit! 53 00:02:04,425 --> 00:02:06,794 There are two types of people in this world... 54 00:02:06,827 --> 00:02:08,396 People who are good, and... 55 00:02:08,429 --> 00:02:10,864 You know what? Forget it. Last-word privileges revoked. 56 00:02:10,898 --> 00:02:12,065 This is bullshit! 57 00:02:12,099 --> 00:02:14,535 Guys, we don't have to take this from him. 58 00:02:14,568 --> 00:02:16,737 We can fight back. 59 00:02:16,770 --> 00:02:17,971 Danny's right! 60 00:02:18,005 --> 00:02:19,673 Steve should go in the pit. 61 00:02:19,707 --> 00:02:21,041 Careful, Jess. 62 00:02:21,074 --> 00:02:22,243 You shot Todd. 63 00:02:22,276 --> 00:02:24,878 You shoot someone, you go into the pit. 64 00:02:24,912 --> 00:02:26,980 Those were your rules, Steve. 65 00:02:27,014 --> 00:02:28,449 Grab him! 66 00:02:29,783 --> 00:02:33,221 S-seriously, guys? No one? 67 00:02:33,254 --> 00:02:35,556 [ Mockingly ] Grab me! 68 00:02:35,589 --> 00:02:36,857 [ Laughs ] 69 00:02:36,890 --> 00:02:38,892 Come on, guys! Oh, come on! 70 00:02:38,926 --> 00:02:40,761 Yeah, okay, real big men 71 00:02:40,794 --> 00:02:42,596 listening to the dick with the gun! 72 00:02:42,630 --> 00:02:43,764 God! 73 00:02:43,797 --> 00:02:45,366 Get off of me! Jess, you're next. 74 00:02:45,399 --> 00:02:46,934 You can't do this, Steve! 75 00:02:46,967 --> 00:02:49,770 Chet, Chet, help me! 76 00:02:49,803 --> 00:02:51,071 Help me, Chet! 77 00:02:51,104 --> 00:02:53,907 I know you can hear me, you stupid hippie! 78 00:02:53,941 --> 00:02:55,509 You know what? Grab him, too. 79 00:02:55,543 --> 00:02:58,011 Wait, what? I didn't do anything. You're weird. 80 00:02:58,045 --> 00:02:59,747 But... I can't go in the pit, man. 81 00:02:59,780 --> 00:03:02,283 I don't... I don't... I don't care anything about her! What?! 82 00:03:02,316 --> 00:03:04,685 You want me to throw her in the pit for you? Chet! 83 00:03:04,718 --> 00:03:07,455 I'll throw her in the pit right now, Steve! Are you insane? 84 00:03:07,488 --> 00:03:10,157 Grab him. You're gonna have to catch me first, man. 85 00:03:10,190 --> 00:03:11,759 Oh! They caught me! 86 00:03:11,792 --> 00:03:13,193 Oh, they caught me so fast! 87 00:03:13,227 --> 00:03:14,962 Steve! Steve! 88 00:03:14,995 --> 00:03:16,473 [ Voice breaking ] Please don't throw me into the pit! 89 00:03:16,497 --> 00:03:18,966 Please don't throw me into the pit! 90 00:03:18,999 --> 00:03:22,503 ** 91 00:03:26,073 --> 00:03:27,641 I thought of the actor's name. 92 00:03:27,675 --> 00:03:30,010 It's Billy Zane. It was Billy Zane, guys. 93 00:03:30,043 --> 00:03:31,545 Oh, my god. Yeah. 94 00:03:31,579 --> 00:03:33,881 Billy goddamn Zane. 95 00:03:33,914 --> 00:03:38,352 ** 96 00:03:39,186 --> 00:03:41,489 Should we meeting out in the open like this? 97 00:03:41,522 --> 00:03:44,024 I mean, we can't be too careful these days. 98 00:03:44,057 --> 00:03:45,225 It's fine. 99 00:03:45,259 --> 00:03:46,470 We're all just guarding the pit. 100 00:03:46,494 --> 00:03:48,729 Yeah. Who would even be watching us? 101 00:03:48,762 --> 00:03:50,664 Owen: What happened here? 102 00:03:50,698 --> 00:03:53,200 I swear to god, I'm gonna throttle that ginger. 103 00:03:53,233 --> 00:03:56,136 [ Grunts ] Oh, god! Oh, my abs. 104 00:03:56,169 --> 00:03:57,338 [ Groans ] 105 00:03:57,371 --> 00:03:58,572 You guys, i just saw the pit! 106 00:03:58,606 --> 00:04:00,374 He's got like a dozen people down there. 107 00:04:00,408 --> 00:04:01,809 He's lost his goddamn mind. 108 00:04:01,842 --> 00:04:03,143 Is Danny in there? And Jess? 109 00:04:03,176 --> 00:04:05,579 This is so messed up. 110 00:04:06,447 --> 00:04:09,049 So what are we gonna do? 111 00:04:09,082 --> 00:04:10,327 We need to make these people see 112 00:04:10,351 --> 00:04:12,286 the reality of the situation, okay? 113 00:04:12,320 --> 00:04:13,754 This is our home now. 114 00:04:13,787 --> 00:04:16,324 And why would we want to go back anyway, right? 115 00:04:16,357 --> 00:04:18,992 I mean, Karen, you're vice President of the island! 116 00:04:19,026 --> 00:04:20,594 I would die for you, Steve. 117 00:04:20,628 --> 00:04:22,730 That's what I'm talking about! 118 00:04:22,763 --> 00:04:25,466 And, pack, you certainly can't go back. 119 00:04:25,499 --> 00:04:30,103 You know, 'cause... Block your ears, Karen. 120 00:04:30,137 --> 00:04:31,339 You ate a guy! 121 00:04:31,372 --> 00:04:32,640 Hey, i know Steve! 122 00:04:32,673 --> 00:04:34,083 Come on, you don't have to say it out loud! 123 00:04:34,107 --> 00:04:35,309 So what? She can't hear me. 124 00:04:35,343 --> 00:04:37,678 Look, watch this. Karen. 125 00:04:37,711 --> 00:04:38,979 Karen. Karen. 126 00:04:39,012 --> 00:04:40,280 Karen! Karen. 127 00:04:40,314 --> 00:04:41,815 Karen! Karen. 128 00:04:41,849 --> 00:04:43,617 Huh. See? 129 00:04:43,651 --> 00:04:45,128 All I'm saying is if you go back home, 130 00:04:45,152 --> 00:04:46,654 you're gonna be treated like a freak. 131 00:04:47,521 --> 00:04:50,123 I can't go back. Exactly! 132 00:04:50,157 --> 00:04:52,192 Thank you! 133 00:04:52,225 --> 00:04:57,698 Guys, we need to make sure these people realize the truth. 134 00:04:57,731 --> 00:05:00,267 We're here for good. 135 00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:01,935 Kurt turdhole: We're saved! 136 00:05:01,969 --> 00:05:03,671 There's a ship! 137 00:05:03,704 --> 00:05:05,439 ** 138 00:05:05,473 --> 00:05:08,075 [ laughing ] It's a ship! 139 00:05:08,108 --> 00:05:09,276 We're saved! 140 00:05:09,309 --> 00:05:10,511 We're saved! 141 00:05:10,544 --> 00:05:13,046 We're saved! [ Chuckles ] 142 00:05:13,080 --> 00:05:14,348 [ Chatter ] 143 00:05:14,382 --> 00:05:15,916 Did turdhole just say there's a ship? 144 00:05:15,949 --> 00:05:18,285 Mother of god. 145 00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:19,787 It's a ship. 146 00:05:21,989 --> 00:05:25,493 [ Cheering ] 147 00:05:25,526 --> 00:05:28,362 Kurt turdhole: Oh, god! Oh, god! 148 00:05:28,396 --> 00:05:30,731 Oh, god! It's a ship! 149 00:05:30,764 --> 00:05:33,200 We're saved! 150 00:05:33,233 --> 00:05:36,404 We're saved! 151 00:05:36,437 --> 00:05:38,672 Steve, what should we do? 152 00:05:38,706 --> 00:05:40,408 Sh-should we get the flare gun? 153 00:05:40,441 --> 00:05:42,242 No. We're not signaling that ship. 154 00:05:42,275 --> 00:05:44,211 What? But... Why? 155 00:05:44,244 --> 00:05:46,179 I-it's getting away. 156 00:05:46,213 --> 00:05:47,648 Don't get any ideas. 157 00:05:47,681 --> 00:05:50,150 We're not leaving the island. 158 00:05:50,183 --> 00:05:51,819 ** 159 00:05:51,852 --> 00:05:53,754 What are you talking about? 160 00:05:53,787 --> 00:05:55,589 Turdhole, we're not leaving! 161 00:05:55,623 --> 00:05:57,224 Yes. 162 00:05:57,257 --> 00:06:00,561 Yes, we are. 163 00:06:00,594 --> 00:06:04,632 I have been pushed around too much on this island. 164 00:06:04,665 --> 00:06:06,967 I'm sick of living in fear. 165 00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:09,903 We have to do what's right, Steve. 166 00:06:09,937 --> 00:06:12,440 We are signaling that sh... 167 00:06:12,473 --> 00:06:13,507 [ gunshot ] 168 00:06:13,541 --> 00:06:14,908 [ Gasping ] 169 00:06:14,942 --> 00:06:16,977 Now, where was I? 170 00:06:17,010 --> 00:06:18,812 Oh, that's right. 171 00:06:18,846 --> 00:06:20,748 We're not leaving the island! 172 00:06:20,781 --> 00:06:22,516 Oh, my god. Did he just kill turdhole?! 173 00:06:22,550 --> 00:06:24,184 All right. We got to signal the ship. 174 00:06:24,217 --> 00:06:25,453 We got to start a fire. 175 00:06:25,486 --> 00:06:27,254 No, no, no, no! He's lost his damn mind! 176 00:06:27,287 --> 00:06:29,289 If he sees the smoke, he might kill someone else! 177 00:06:29,322 --> 00:06:33,060 Owen, what do we do? 178 00:06:34,828 --> 00:06:38,031 Pack, go and destroy the flare gun. 179 00:06:38,866 --> 00:06:40,701 Karen and i will wait here 180 00:06:40,734 --> 00:06:43,370 and make sure no one does anything stupid. 181 00:06:43,403 --> 00:06:45,072 ** 182 00:06:46,907 --> 00:06:49,176 Steve: Pack! Ahh! 183 00:06:49,209 --> 00:06:51,111 The flare gun! Yeah. 184 00:06:51,144 --> 00:06:53,380 Shit! 185 00:06:53,413 --> 00:06:54,882 Stop looking at me! 186 00:06:54,915 --> 00:06:57,050 ** 187 00:06:57,084 --> 00:06:59,219 Okay, I'm gonna go after pack and get that flare gun. 188 00:06:59,252 --> 00:07:01,221 You guys help the others. All right. 189 00:07:01,254 --> 00:07:02,556 Okay. 190 00:07:02,590 --> 00:07:04,357 It's time to drop the hammer on these idiots. 191 00:07:04,391 --> 00:07:05,559 Let's do th... 192 00:07:05,593 --> 00:07:08,028 [ gurgling ] Oh, my god! 193 00:07:08,061 --> 00:07:09,229 Are you okay? 194 00:07:09,262 --> 00:07:11,398 Yeah. I'm... I'm fine. 195 00:07:11,431 --> 00:07:12,733 You're bleeding! 196 00:07:12,766 --> 00:07:14,768 Ah, it's nothing. Look at your love handles. 197 00:07:14,802 --> 00:07:16,604 It's getting crazy infected. 198 00:07:16,637 --> 00:07:18,205 You mean my ab? Oh, my god. 199 00:07:18,238 --> 00:07:19,940 Uh, no, it's good. It's good. Oh, my god. 200 00:07:19,973 --> 00:07:21,374 All right. I got to go save Jess. 201 00:07:21,408 --> 00:07:23,611 No. Todd, stop, okay? 202 00:07:23,644 --> 00:07:25,646 You're gonna get yourself killed. 203 00:07:25,679 --> 00:07:29,316 You got to save Jess, all right? 204 00:07:29,349 --> 00:07:30,651 Promise me. 205 00:07:30,684 --> 00:07:31,919 I promise. 206 00:07:31,952 --> 00:07:36,189 No one deserves to be thrown in a pit. 207 00:07:37,324 --> 00:07:40,160 Damn! Goose bumpers! 208 00:07:40,193 --> 00:07:41,962 Right? Yeah, that sounded hardcore. 209 00:07:41,995 --> 00:07:44,064 Unh! Okay. I'm gonna go. 210 00:07:44,097 --> 00:07:46,066 Roger? Roger? 211 00:07:46,099 --> 00:07:47,410 You got to let us out of here, man. 212 00:07:47,434 --> 00:07:49,937 You're not going anywhere unless Steve says. 213 00:07:49,970 --> 00:07:52,973 Roger, the boat is right out there, okay?! 214 00:07:53,006 --> 00:07:54,183 Don't you want to go home on that boat?! 215 00:07:54,207 --> 00:07:56,009 Look at me. Look at my face! 216 00:07:56,043 --> 00:07:58,946 I can't go back to the real world looking like this. 217 00:07:58,979 --> 00:08:00,948 Come on, man. Your face... your face is fine. 218 00:08:00,981 --> 00:08:02,750 It doesn't look like... Like sausage. 219 00:08:02,783 --> 00:08:04,151 Don't push me. 220 00:08:04,184 --> 00:08:06,319 I killed a man outside Tallahassee. I'll do it again. 221 00:08:06,353 --> 00:08:08,188 [ Florence grunts ] [ Groans ] 222 00:08:08,221 --> 00:08:10,157 Oh, god! Oh, what the shit? 223 00:08:10,190 --> 00:08:13,393 [ Cheering ] 224 00:08:13,426 --> 00:08:14,928 Okay. 225 00:08:14,962 --> 00:08:17,042 We got to get you guys the hell out of here. Come on! 226 00:08:17,765 --> 00:08:19,867 Hey, pack. 227 00:08:19,900 --> 00:08:21,068 Get back! Whoa! Hey. 228 00:08:21,101 --> 00:08:22,269 What are you doing here? 229 00:08:22,302 --> 00:08:24,938 Hey, man, the boat is leaving, okay? 230 00:08:24,972 --> 00:08:26,616 Come on. Come on, don't you want to go home? 231 00:08:26,640 --> 00:08:30,277 Buddy, you can't go back there. 232 00:08:30,310 --> 00:08:32,846 You'll be known as the guy who ate a dude! 233 00:08:32,880 --> 00:08:35,583 Pack! Pack! Hey. Give me the gun. 234 00:08:35,616 --> 00:08:38,852 I can't. I can't go back! 235 00:08:38,886 --> 00:08:40,353 Oh, my god! [ Grunting ] 236 00:08:40,387 --> 00:08:43,090 Oh, god! I just got a whiff of you. Dang. 237 00:08:43,123 --> 00:08:45,392 Okay, now we just need to figure out 238 00:08:45,425 --> 00:08:47,928 how to get the gun back from that crazy motherfu... 239 00:08:47,961 --> 00:08:51,198 [ gun cocks ] [ Gasps ] 240 00:08:51,231 --> 00:08:54,935 Welcome home, Florence. 241 00:08:56,770 --> 00:08:58,872 You can't shoot all of us! 242 00:08:58,906 --> 00:09:00,073 Everybody, run! 243 00:09:00,107 --> 00:09:02,375 Wait! We're running or not? 244 00:09:02,409 --> 00:09:03,644 Okay! 245 00:09:03,677 --> 00:09:05,478 ** 246 00:09:05,512 --> 00:09:07,815 [ gunshots ] 247 00:09:07,848 --> 00:09:09,016 Well, come on, Karen! 248 00:09:09,049 --> 00:09:10,784 Don't just stand there! Get them! 249 00:09:10,818 --> 00:09:13,553 Shit, shit, shit! 250 00:09:13,587 --> 00:09:15,188 ** 251 00:09:15,222 --> 00:09:17,725 Owen: Don't you want to get rescued, huh? 252 00:09:17,758 --> 00:09:21,528 Owen, I've done things... Unspeakable things. 253 00:09:21,561 --> 00:09:22,863 I'm a monster! 254 00:09:22,896 --> 00:09:24,798 [ Laughing ] Yeah, you are! 255 00:09:24,832 --> 00:09:26,399 Hey, buddy, listen to me. 256 00:09:26,433 --> 00:09:28,969 Whatever you did, it can't be that bad. 257 00:09:29,002 --> 00:09:30,370 I ate a dude! 258 00:09:30,403 --> 00:09:32,072 Holy sh... wow! 259 00:09:32,105 --> 00:09:34,074 Okay, that's a lot to process. 260 00:09:34,107 --> 00:09:36,744 I got to think about that for a second. 261 00:09:36,777 --> 00:09:37,911 [ Exhales sharply ] 262 00:09:37,945 --> 00:09:39,379 How'd you kill him? 263 00:09:39,412 --> 00:09:40,580 I didn't kill him. 264 00:09:40,614 --> 00:09:41,749 He was already dead. 265 00:09:41,782 --> 00:09:42,983 I was starving. 266 00:09:43,016 --> 00:09:45,052 Okay, well, that's, you know... 267 00:09:45,085 --> 00:09:46,553 It's whatever. 268 00:09:46,586 --> 00:09:47,855 "Whatever"? 269 00:09:47,888 --> 00:09:50,423 Pack, it's gross that you ate someone, 270 00:09:50,457 --> 00:09:52,926 but, um... You're not a monster. 271 00:09:52,960 --> 00:09:54,594 Really? 272 00:09:54,628 --> 00:09:56,063 Mm-hmm. 273 00:09:56,096 --> 00:09:58,198 It's totally normal. 274 00:09:58,231 --> 00:10:02,069 So, people won't think I'm insane like... like Steve said? 275 00:10:02,102 --> 00:10:03,370 I don't think so. 276 00:10:03,403 --> 00:10:05,338 In fact, i think that people like 277 00:10:05,372 --> 00:10:08,241 when other people do crazy shit to survive, you know? 278 00:10:08,275 --> 00:10:10,944 I think they'll probably make a movie about you. 279 00:10:10,978 --> 00:10:12,245 Right? 280 00:10:12,279 --> 00:10:14,114 Like, "127 hours"... 281 00:10:14,147 --> 00:10:15,783 "Alive," you know? 282 00:10:15,816 --> 00:10:17,084 "The revenant." 283 00:10:17,117 --> 00:10:18,886 Who would play me? 284 00:10:18,919 --> 00:10:20,788 [ Sighs ] Really? 285 00:10:20,821 --> 00:10:22,990 Um... Don cheadle. 286 00:10:23,824 --> 00:10:24,958 I love don don cheadle. 287 00:10:24,992 --> 00:10:26,727 Yeah. He's got so much range. 288 00:10:26,760 --> 00:10:27,928 I know. Give me the gun. 289 00:10:27,961 --> 00:10:30,597 No. 290 00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:33,600 ** 291 00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:35,602 Get out of here. 292 00:10:35,635 --> 00:10:36,904 What are you doing?! 293 00:10:36,937 --> 00:10:38,739 Pack, you can't go home! 294 00:10:38,772 --> 00:10:40,240 And don cheadle? 295 00:10:40,273 --> 00:10:43,210 You think the chead is gonna waste his talent on you?! 296 00:10:43,243 --> 00:10:44,878 [ Dramatic music plays ] Goodbye, Jerry. 297 00:10:44,912 --> 00:10:46,146 No! No! No! 298 00:10:46,179 --> 00:10:47,815 [ Fire blazes ] 299 00:10:47,848 --> 00:10:49,416 No! No! 300 00:10:49,449 --> 00:10:51,785 What are you doing, pack?! 301 00:10:51,819 --> 00:10:54,221 No!! [ Screams ] 302 00:10:54,254 --> 00:10:57,791 But I would watch you burn for 100 years if I could. 303 00:10:57,825 --> 00:10:59,459 [ Music stops ] 304 00:10:59,492 --> 00:11:02,662 I hate you, Jerry! [ Sobs ] 305 00:11:02,696 --> 00:11:07,234 Okay, well, thanks so much for the, uh, yeah. 306 00:11:07,267 --> 00:11:08,535 [ Music continues ] Jerry: No! 307 00:11:08,568 --> 00:11:10,146 I'm gonna get rescued, and I'm gonna go back! 308 00:11:10,170 --> 00:11:12,305 No! And they're gonna write a book about me, 309 00:11:12,339 --> 00:11:13,741 and it's gonna be a bestseller. 310 00:11:13,774 --> 00:11:16,243 Someone's gonna ghostwrite the shit out of that book! 311 00:11:16,276 --> 00:11:17,811 No!! [ Groans ] 312 00:11:17,845 --> 00:11:19,856 And don cheadle's gonna do the movie 'cause the money's right, 313 00:11:19,880 --> 00:11:21,214 and he's gonna win an Oscar. 314 00:11:21,248 --> 00:11:23,250 If you think don cheadle's gonna play you, 315 00:11:23,283 --> 00:11:25,152 you are living in the house of lies! 316 00:11:25,185 --> 00:11:26,386 You're done! 317 00:11:26,419 --> 00:11:27,387 No! [ Sobs ] 318 00:11:27,420 --> 00:11:29,422 You're not even a fun ghost! 319 00:11:29,456 --> 00:11:30,924 You suck, you ghost piece of shit. 320 00:11:30,958 --> 00:11:32,159 Ow!! 321 00:11:32,192 --> 00:11:34,094 Why fire?! Why fire?! 322 00:11:34,127 --> 00:11:37,064 Why couldn't you just let me fade away 323 00:11:37,097 --> 00:11:38,899 like "field of dreams"? 324 00:11:38,932 --> 00:11:40,267 [ Sobbing ] 325 00:11:40,300 --> 00:11:42,202 You sick [Bleep] 326 00:11:42,235 --> 00:11:43,871 [ Panting ] 327 00:11:43,904 --> 00:11:47,741 ** 328 00:11:52,980 --> 00:11:54,347 I think we lost them. 329 00:11:54,381 --> 00:11:56,516 Karen: Che-e-e-e-t. 330 00:11:56,549 --> 00:11:58,118 [ Gasps ] 331 00:11:58,151 --> 00:11:59,686 [ Gasps ] 332 00:11:59,719 --> 00:12:01,621 That's Karen! 333 00:12:01,654 --> 00:12:03,991 Je-e-e-e-ss! 334 00:12:04,024 --> 00:12:07,861 ** 335 00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:15,268 Maybe she's gone. 336 00:12:15,302 --> 00:12:17,771 [ Leaves rustling ] 337 00:12:17,805 --> 00:12:19,206 [ Screams ] 338 00:12:19,239 --> 00:12:21,541 Oh, god! No! 339 00:12:25,078 --> 00:12:27,156 The ship's getting farther away! Shut up! No one move! 340 00:12:27,180 --> 00:12:30,283 Hey, Steve. 341 00:12:30,317 --> 00:12:32,685 Owen. Owen, you came back! 342 00:12:32,719 --> 00:12:34,487 You bet I did, buddy. 343 00:12:34,521 --> 00:12:36,523 The ship's leaving. You're too late, Owen. 344 00:12:36,556 --> 00:12:38,725 Am I? He's got the flare gun! 345 00:12:38,758 --> 00:12:40,994 [ Cheering ] It's over, Steve. 346 00:12:41,028 --> 00:12:43,030 Once I fire this, we're saved. 347 00:12:43,063 --> 00:12:46,299 Oh, god! Ahh! Hey, hey, hey, hey! 348 00:12:46,333 --> 00:12:47,700 You shoot the flare gun, 349 00:12:47,734 --> 00:12:49,702 and I'll blow his giant head off. 350 00:12:49,736 --> 00:12:52,372 Hey, hey! Let's... let's relax, Steve. 351 00:12:52,405 --> 00:12:53,706 You relax, Steve! 352 00:12:53,740 --> 00:12:55,475 I'm already relaxed! 353 00:12:55,508 --> 00:12:56,877 I'm very relaxed! 354 00:12:56,910 --> 00:12:59,212 I'm on a holiday, goddamn it! 355 00:12:59,246 --> 00:13:00,713 Well, well, well. 356 00:13:00,747 --> 00:13:03,216 Looky what we have here... 357 00:13:03,250 --> 00:13:06,053 The powerpuff girl and her crunchy boy-toy. 358 00:13:06,086 --> 00:13:08,555 It's time to drag you back to camp. 359 00:13:08,588 --> 00:13:10,824 Karen, please don't kill me! 360 00:13:10,858 --> 00:13:12,625 Please, I'm sorry! 361 00:13:12,659 --> 00:13:13,793 Don't kill me! 362 00:13:13,827 --> 00:13:14,995 [ Seagulls squawking ] 363 00:13:15,028 --> 00:13:16,964 Do you want me to kill her for you? 364 00:13:16,997 --> 00:13:18,598 I'll kill her right now! 365 00:13:18,631 --> 00:13:21,068 Jesus, Chet! Please! 366 00:13:21,101 --> 00:13:23,136 Karen, why are you doing this? 367 00:13:23,170 --> 00:13:25,973 Why? Respect. 368 00:13:26,006 --> 00:13:28,275 My whole life, people have laughed at me, 369 00:13:28,308 --> 00:13:30,010 but here... Here... 370 00:13:30,043 --> 00:13:34,614 I'm finally a vice president... a vp! 371 00:13:34,647 --> 00:13:36,483 Todd: Hey, dragon bitch! 372 00:13:36,516 --> 00:13:39,086 You want to dance? 373 00:13:39,119 --> 00:13:40,320 Todd. 374 00:13:40,353 --> 00:13:42,255 Todd! You're alive! 375 00:13:42,289 --> 00:13:44,091 You came back for me! 376 00:13:44,124 --> 00:13:47,627 I'm here to say I'm sorry. 377 00:13:47,660 --> 00:13:49,429 I was a dick. 378 00:13:49,462 --> 00:13:51,198 Really? 379 00:13:51,231 --> 00:13:52,332 Yeah. 380 00:13:52,365 --> 00:13:57,104 Also... This boar-snatching bee-otch 381 00:13:57,137 --> 00:14:00,473 is about to get a big, old, fat knuckle sandwich, 382 00:14:00,507 --> 00:14:02,042 courtesy of "streaks." 383 00:14:02,075 --> 00:14:05,879 Whoo! Finally! 384 00:14:05,913 --> 00:14:08,715 I was beginning to think this was a dickless island. 385 00:14:08,748 --> 00:14:10,083 Oh, no, honey. 386 00:14:10,117 --> 00:14:13,620 This island's got some wee-wee, all right. 387 00:14:13,653 --> 00:14:14,922 Yeah! 388 00:14:14,955 --> 00:14:18,425 Todd, your stomach! Six-pack. I'm fine. 389 00:14:18,458 --> 00:14:20,193 Ugh. You look like shit. 390 00:14:20,227 --> 00:14:24,965 So why don't we make this interesting, huh? 391 00:14:26,967 --> 00:14:28,868 Whoa. 392 00:14:28,902 --> 00:14:30,603 Wow. Holy moly. 393 00:14:30,637 --> 00:14:33,873 A fair fight, mano a mano. 394 00:14:33,907 --> 00:14:35,775 You're not gonna distract me 395 00:14:35,808 --> 00:14:38,078 with your surprisingly supple breasts. 396 00:14:38,111 --> 00:14:39,779 Why don't you take a photo? 397 00:14:39,812 --> 00:14:41,281 It'll last longer! 398 00:14:41,314 --> 00:14:43,116 [ Screams ] 399 00:14:43,150 --> 00:14:44,952 [ Groans ] 400 00:14:44,985 --> 00:14:46,886 Put a shirt on, weirdo! 401 00:14:46,920 --> 00:14:49,622 [ Grunting, groaning ] 402 00:14:49,656 --> 00:14:51,291 See, that's the problem. 403 00:14:51,324 --> 00:14:54,227 Why is it weird 'cause I'm topless, huh? 404 00:14:54,261 --> 00:14:55,462 [ Groans ] 405 00:14:55,495 --> 00:14:59,766 The glass ceiling is made out of bra straps and nylon! 406 00:14:59,799 --> 00:15:01,468 No! It's not! 407 00:15:01,501 --> 00:15:03,870 It's made out of glass. 408 00:15:03,903 --> 00:15:05,905 [ Groans ] Yeah, babe! 409 00:15:05,939 --> 00:15:07,207 Whoo! [ Groans ] 410 00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:08,908 That one was for meat! 411 00:15:08,942 --> 00:15:10,143 Ow! Ow! 412 00:15:10,177 --> 00:15:12,345 I felt a little twinge in the girls. 413 00:15:12,379 --> 00:15:14,014 [ Panting ] Oh, my god. 414 00:15:14,047 --> 00:15:15,215 Oh, my god! 415 00:15:15,248 --> 00:15:16,883 I think that's a lump! 416 00:15:16,916 --> 00:15:18,718 Huh? Is that a lump? 417 00:15:18,751 --> 00:15:20,087 Oh, my god. 418 00:15:20,120 --> 00:15:21,697 Oh, Jesus, I'm so sorry. I mean, there's a lot... 419 00:15:21,721 --> 00:15:23,423 Oh, my god. 420 00:15:23,456 --> 00:15:25,225 Ahh!! 421 00:15:25,258 --> 00:15:26,826 That's my dick! Oh, no! Not the dick! 422 00:15:26,859 --> 00:15:28,328 [ Groans ] 423 00:15:28,361 --> 00:15:32,865 That's what's called using your feminine wiles, you pussy! 424 00:15:32,899 --> 00:15:35,035 [ Groans ] [ Grunts ] 425 00:15:35,068 --> 00:15:36,703 Ohh! Ohh! 426 00:15:36,736 --> 00:15:37,904 [ Groans ] 427 00:15:37,937 --> 00:15:39,439 [ Screams ] 428 00:15:39,472 --> 00:15:40,940 Son of a bitch! 429 00:15:40,974 --> 00:15:42,909 I'm gonna gut you like your pig! 430 00:15:42,942 --> 00:15:44,077 [ Groans ] 431 00:15:44,111 --> 00:15:46,513 Get your finger out of my wound! 432 00:15:46,546 --> 00:15:48,081 [ Screams ] Ow! 433 00:15:48,115 --> 00:15:50,250 My titties! Ahh!! 434 00:15:50,283 --> 00:15:52,919 Put it back in! Chet, we have to do something! 435 00:15:52,952 --> 00:15:55,122 We can't! I'm a pacifist! 436 00:15:55,155 --> 00:15:56,589 [ Todd grunting, sobbing ] 437 00:15:56,623 --> 00:15:57,790 No way. 438 00:15:57,824 --> 00:16:00,293 ** 439 00:16:00,327 --> 00:16:02,395 The pit can't save you now, Todd. 440 00:16:02,429 --> 00:16:04,364 It's just you, me, and the jungle! 441 00:16:04,397 --> 00:16:05,598 [ Groans ] 442 00:16:05,632 --> 00:16:07,834 Hey, Karen! 443 00:16:07,867 --> 00:16:10,037 [ Panting ] 444 00:16:10,070 --> 00:16:11,971 No frickin' way. 445 00:16:12,005 --> 00:16:14,341 My driver! 446 00:16:14,374 --> 00:16:16,176 I knew it was out here! 447 00:16:16,209 --> 00:16:17,310 Todd! 448 00:16:17,344 --> 00:16:19,512 You came back for me. 449 00:16:19,546 --> 00:16:21,014 I thought you died. 450 00:16:21,048 --> 00:16:22,449 They can't kill me. 451 00:16:22,482 --> 00:16:23,483 [ Driver thuds ] 452 00:16:23,516 --> 00:16:25,818 I love you, you little Asian plum. 453 00:16:25,852 --> 00:16:29,056 I love you. Mm. 454 00:16:29,089 --> 00:16:30,957 Put down the flare gun, Owen. 455 00:16:30,990 --> 00:16:32,859 Come on. Do it for your lover. 456 00:16:32,892 --> 00:16:34,627 Owen, it's okay. 457 00:16:34,661 --> 00:16:35,895 Fire it, man. 458 00:16:35,928 --> 00:16:37,997 If he kills me, so be it. 459 00:16:38,031 --> 00:16:39,499 I'll do it! 460 00:16:39,532 --> 00:16:41,534 ** 461 00:16:44,337 --> 00:16:45,548 I've already killed turdhole today. 462 00:16:45,572 --> 00:16:46,939 Don't make me kill again. 463 00:16:46,973 --> 00:16:48,141 Owen, just shoot it. 464 00:16:48,175 --> 00:16:49,409 No, Danny, i can't just... 465 00:16:49,442 --> 00:16:51,811 Owen, it's okay. Get off the island. 466 00:16:51,844 --> 00:16:53,980 Don't let him hold us hostage. 467 00:16:54,013 --> 00:16:56,949 ** 468 00:16:56,983 --> 00:16:59,752 "always shoot your hostage?" Always shoot the hostage. 469 00:16:59,786 --> 00:17:01,588 That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard. 470 00:17:01,621 --> 00:17:02,855 What if you kill the hostage? 471 00:17:02,889 --> 00:17:06,459 Sometimes, you got to role the dice. 472 00:17:06,493 --> 00:17:10,897 ** 473 00:17:20,407 --> 00:17:23,009 [ screaming ] 474 00:17:23,843 --> 00:17:25,345 Oh! 475 00:17:25,378 --> 00:17:27,747 Ohh! Freeze! You're under arrest! 476 00:17:27,780 --> 00:17:31,050 [ Groans ] 477 00:17:31,084 --> 00:17:33,052 [ Laughing ] Yeah! 478 00:17:33,086 --> 00:17:35,755 Oh, dude, you shot me! Yeah. 479 00:17:35,788 --> 00:17:38,225 Oh, you shot... You shot the hostage! 480 00:17:38,258 --> 00:17:39,592 Yeah, like you said. 481 00:17:39,626 --> 00:17:41,104 [ Laughs ] How'd you know it was gonna work? 482 00:17:41,128 --> 00:17:42,562 I just rolled the dice. 483 00:17:42,595 --> 00:17:44,597 'Cause that's what i said to you in the jungle! 484 00:17:44,631 --> 00:17:47,434 It was a callback! Aah! It was a great callback! 485 00:17:47,467 --> 00:17:50,403 Oh, thanks, man! [ Groans ] 486 00:17:50,437 --> 00:17:52,105 Listen, man, i just want you to know 487 00:17:52,139 --> 00:17:54,541 I was wrong about everything. [ Groans ] 488 00:17:54,574 --> 00:17:55,875 Okay? You were right. 489 00:17:55,908 --> 00:17:57,277 Okay. [ Groans ] Yeah. 490 00:17:57,310 --> 00:17:59,045 I didn't know how to let you in. 491 00:17:59,078 --> 00:18:01,114 Well, you're here now. 492 00:18:01,148 --> 00:18:02,515 I love you, bro. 493 00:18:02,549 --> 00:18:04,851 I love you, bro. Yeah. 494 00:18:04,884 --> 00:18:07,354 All right, help me get up. 495 00:18:07,387 --> 00:18:08,921 Yeah. [ Screams ] 496 00:18:08,955 --> 00:18:11,458 God! Ahh! Oh, that still burns! 497 00:18:11,491 --> 00:18:14,127 Well, you got shot in the leg with a flare gun. That's gonna hurt. 498 00:18:14,161 --> 00:18:17,730 [ Triumphant music plays ] 499 00:18:33,513 --> 00:18:36,783 Guys, I'm sorry! 500 00:18:36,816 --> 00:18:40,820 I stuffed up, okay? 501 00:18:40,853 --> 00:18:44,023 [ Sobs ] 502 00:18:44,056 --> 00:18:46,693 [ Cheering ] 503 00:18:49,028 --> 00:18:51,498 Man: Come on! 504 00:18:51,531 --> 00:18:57,770 [ Cheering continues ] 505 00:19:02,675 --> 00:19:05,044 Hello! 506 00:19:05,077 --> 00:19:08,281 Hey, we're just a couple of simple south Asian fishermen. 507 00:19:08,315 --> 00:19:11,484 Are you guys the survivors of lotus airlines flight 816? 508 00:19:11,518 --> 00:19:13,486 You bet your ass we are! 509 00:19:13,520 --> 00:19:15,988 [ Cheering ] 510 00:19:16,022 --> 00:19:17,089 Oh, wow! 511 00:19:17,123 --> 00:19:18,658 That is great, great news! 512 00:19:18,691 --> 00:19:20,269 We've been looking for you guys for a few days. 513 00:19:20,293 --> 00:19:22,395 You have? Yes, yes! Well, see... 514 00:19:22,429 --> 00:19:25,007 Well, the truth is we're not actually fisherme... we're pirates, mother[Bleep] 515 00:19:25,031 --> 00:19:27,567 [ Screaming ] [ Imitates gunfire ] 516 00:19:27,600 --> 00:19:29,836 Mother[Bleep] [Bleep] mother[Bleep] hey, whoa, whoa, whoa! 517 00:19:29,869 --> 00:19:31,347 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! What... What are you doing right now? 518 00:19:31,371 --> 00:19:33,172 What? Are you serious right now? 519 00:19:33,206 --> 00:19:35,017 What... what did we talk about? How many times do we 520 00:19:35,041 --> 00:19:36,685 have to talk about this rule? When you do that... come on! 521 00:19:36,709 --> 00:19:38,120 No, when you go dick swinging, you invite panic! 522 00:19:38,144 --> 00:19:40,146 Come... okay... no! You get people all riled up, 523 00:19:40,179 --> 00:19:42,349 and then that's when we make mistakes! 524 00:19:42,382 --> 00:19:44,026 Look, man, I didn't get into the pirate game to be pussyfooting around! 525 00:19:44,050 --> 00:19:45,694 What are you talking... What pu-pussyfooting? 526 00:19:45,718 --> 00:19:46,853 Hey! 527 00:19:46,886 --> 00:19:48,321 What is happening right now? 528 00:19:48,355 --> 00:19:49,856 We... well, uh... Was it not obvious? 529 00:19:49,889 --> 00:19:51,800 We're here to... oh, we're here to kidnap you guys. 530 00:19:51,824 --> 00:19:53,025 [ Screaming ] 531 00:19:53,059 --> 00:19:54,694 Well, at least... Well, just one of you. 532 00:19:54,727 --> 00:19:56,205 Which one of you guys is Danny Wallace? 533 00:19:56,229 --> 00:19:58,831 Danny, Danny Wallace? There he is. 534 00:19:58,865 --> 00:20:00,533 I see you, dawg! 535 00:20:00,567 --> 00:20:01,934 [ Both laughing ] 536 00:20:01,968 --> 00:20:03,936 Look at that, richest boy in the world 537 00:20:03,970 --> 00:20:06,038 slumming it on some deserted island. 538 00:20:06,072 --> 00:20:07,374 What? 539 00:20:07,407 --> 00:20:09,442 Oh, shit. 540 00:20:09,476 --> 00:20:10,877 You don't know who this is? 541 00:20:10,910 --> 00:20:13,112 His family's worth billions! 542 00:20:13,145 --> 00:20:15,114 Ooh, yeah. Hey, when your plane went down, 543 00:20:15,147 --> 00:20:17,684 this guy's face was on every TV screen in the world! 544 00:20:17,717 --> 00:20:19,686 And we gonna hold you for a fatass ransom! 545 00:20:19,719 --> 00:20:21,053 Whoo! 546 00:20:21,087 --> 00:20:22,522 [ Gunfire ] 547 00:20:22,555 --> 00:20:25,358 I am so jazzed! I'm miles Davis-ing this mother[Bleep] 548 00:20:25,392 --> 00:20:27,703 All right, I'm bringing it down just so you know. Danny, seriously, you need to come with us, 549 00:20:27,727 --> 00:20:29,338 or we're gonna shoot all your friends otherwise. We're gonna kill everybody. 550 00:20:29,362 --> 00:20:33,900 [ The jam's "town called malice" plays ] 551 00:20:33,933 --> 00:20:36,168 * better stop dreaming of the quiet life * 552 00:20:36,202 --> 00:20:38,871 * 'cause it's one we'll never know * 553 00:20:38,905 --> 00:20:41,040 * and quit running for that runaway bus * 554 00:20:41,073 --> 00:20:43,042 * 'cause those rosy days are few * 555 00:20:43,075 --> 00:20:48,180 * and stop apologizing for the things you never done * 556 00:20:48,214 --> 00:20:50,550 * time is short and life is cruel * 557 00:20:50,583 --> 00:20:52,552 * but it's up to us to change 558 00:20:52,585 --> 00:20:54,554 * this town called malice 559 00:20:54,587 --> 00:20:57,256 * this town called malice 560 00:20:57,290 --> 00:21:00,126 * yeah