1 00:00:02,370 --> 00:00:03,980 Previously on "wrecked"... Todd: It's the community pile. 2 00:00:04,004 --> 00:00:05,415 I saved it, and now everyone thinks it's gone. 3 00:00:05,439 --> 00:00:07,017 - What are they fighting over? - Airline pretzels. 4 00:00:07,041 --> 00:00:09,343 The only food we have left. Will you marry me? 5 00:00:09,377 --> 00:00:10,678 No. Why not? 6 00:00:10,711 --> 00:00:11,879 Because you lied to me, Todd. 7 00:00:11,912 --> 00:00:13,214 And you stole the camp's stuff. 8 00:00:13,247 --> 00:00:15,183 Whatever, dude. Where's our stuff?! 9 00:00:15,216 --> 00:00:17,185 It's all gone! I hid it. 10 00:00:17,218 --> 00:00:22,423 From now on, I'm the friggin' king of the island! 11 00:00:24,125 --> 00:00:26,827 Come on, Steve. Be strong. Yeah. 12 00:00:26,860 --> 00:00:29,497 "See the world," they said. [ Chuckles ] 13 00:00:29,530 --> 00:00:32,032 I should never have left papakura. 14 00:00:32,066 --> 00:00:35,035 Oh, dear! Aah! 15 00:00:35,069 --> 00:00:37,938 Okay, Todd, can I get that toothbrush now? 16 00:00:37,971 --> 00:00:40,374 You look a little short there, legs. 17 00:00:40,408 --> 00:00:41,342 You said three nuts! 18 00:00:41,375 --> 00:00:43,711 Oh, yeah, that was before tax. 19 00:00:43,744 --> 00:00:44,878 Now it's four. 20 00:00:44,912 --> 00:00:46,247 Come on, Todd! 21 00:00:46,280 --> 00:00:49,383 My mouth tastes like a... Homeless foot! 22 00:00:49,417 --> 00:00:52,220 You don't like it, go find a rite-aid! 23 00:00:52,253 --> 00:00:54,922 I think there's one, like, a thousand miles that way. 24 00:00:54,955 --> 00:00:57,024 All right, I'll get you another nut! 25 00:00:57,057 --> 00:01:00,194 Of course, now there's also my handling fee and gratuity. 26 00:01:00,228 --> 00:01:02,396 So why don't you throw in that hat. 27 00:01:02,430 --> 00:01:06,100 But my head is so small. It will never fit you. 28 00:01:06,134 --> 00:01:07,768 Maybe I'll wipe my ass with it. 29 00:01:07,801 --> 00:01:09,303 It's getting a little chaffed. 30 00:01:09,337 --> 00:01:10,804 [ Sighs ] 31 00:01:10,838 --> 00:01:14,708 ** 32 00:01:14,742 --> 00:01:16,477 There you go. 33 00:01:18,746 --> 00:01:20,047 This is criminal. 34 00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:21,782 Nah, it's within the law. 35 00:01:21,815 --> 00:01:23,384 [ Grunts ] 36 00:01:23,417 --> 00:01:26,387 The Todd law. 37 00:01:26,420 --> 00:01:27,621 [ Laughs ] 38 00:01:27,655 --> 00:01:29,290 Go get it! 39 00:01:29,323 --> 00:01:32,226 So that's included in the extra nuts? 40 00:01:32,260 --> 00:01:33,294 No. 41 00:01:35,496 --> 00:01:39,099 Just look at him, hoarding all of our stuff like that. 42 00:01:39,133 --> 00:01:40,801 Todd's unleashed a lot of bad juju. 43 00:01:40,834 --> 00:01:42,170 People are getting desperate. 44 00:01:42,203 --> 00:01:43,513 Yeah, if we're gonna be living here, 45 00:01:43,537 --> 00:01:45,306 we need some basic rules and regulations. 46 00:01:45,339 --> 00:01:47,117 I just wish there was a way to get the stuff back from Todd. 47 00:01:47,141 --> 00:01:48,509 I mean... We could bum-rush him, 48 00:01:48,542 --> 00:01:50,644 take back our stuff with good, old American force. 49 00:01:50,678 --> 00:01:52,746 We can't. He's got all of our stuff hidden somewhere 50 00:01:52,780 --> 00:01:53,847 like some kind of rat. 51 00:01:53,881 --> 00:01:54,982 - Danny! - Hey, guys. 52 00:01:55,015 --> 00:01:56,250 How can i be of service? 53 00:01:56,284 --> 00:01:58,118 You're a cop. Can't you make Todd 54 00:01:58,152 --> 00:02:00,621 give us all our stuff back with your... 55 00:02:00,654 --> 00:02:03,991 Emma, are you suggesting I use my weapon for intimidation? 56 00:02:04,024 --> 00:02:05,693 Because I would never... 57 00:02:05,726 --> 00:02:06,994 What the hell do you want? 58 00:02:07,027 --> 00:02:10,498 For you to give up the goods, Todd. 59 00:02:10,531 --> 00:02:11,865 Are you threatening me, dude? 60 00:02:11,899 --> 00:02:13,701 What are you gonna do, shoot me? 61 00:02:13,734 --> 00:02:15,369 Hey! Hey, police brutality! 62 00:02:15,403 --> 00:02:16,704 Danny's gonna shoot me! Shh! 63 00:02:16,737 --> 00:02:18,105 No, no, no, no, no! 64 00:02:18,138 --> 00:02:19,973 I can't believe you would even consider that. 65 00:02:20,007 --> 00:02:21,675 [ Scoffs ] Civilians. 66 00:02:21,709 --> 00:02:23,353 Karen: Daniel, why don't you do a stakeout? 67 00:02:23,377 --> 00:02:25,446 Tail him till he leads you to the stash. 68 00:02:25,479 --> 00:02:28,148 A stakeout, brilliant. Why didn't I think of that? 69 00:02:28,182 --> 00:02:29,683 I could kiss you right now. 70 00:02:29,717 --> 00:02:30,984 Do it. What? 71 00:02:31,018 --> 00:02:33,020 Do it. Kiss me on the mouth. Oh, no, thank you. 72 00:02:33,053 --> 00:02:34,188 Come on. Come right on in. 73 00:02:34,222 --> 00:02:35,523 That's not what I was implying. 74 00:02:35,556 --> 00:02:36,900 You're not coming to me, I'm coming to you. 75 00:02:36,924 --> 00:02:38,192 Oh, oh. How about this? 76 00:02:38,226 --> 00:02:40,027 Is this close enough to get you enticed? 77 00:02:40,060 --> 00:02:41,705 Uh, I'm... I'm not... ohh. What about this? 78 00:02:41,729 --> 00:02:44,198 If you want to use your tongue, I'm not gonna complain. 79 00:02:44,232 --> 00:02:46,634 Okay, I think I'm gonna go do the stakeout, 80 00:02:46,667 --> 00:02:48,236 if you guys don't mind. 81 00:02:48,269 --> 00:02:52,473 But rest assured, Todd's gonna lead me right to the stash. 82 00:02:52,506 --> 00:02:53,741 [ Chuckles ] 83 00:02:53,774 --> 00:02:56,043 [ Sea gulls crying ] 84 00:02:59,447 --> 00:03:02,383 My, my, my. 85 00:03:02,416 --> 00:03:06,754 Sure it hot out here, isn't it... 86 00:03:06,787 --> 00:03:08,188 Daniel? 87 00:03:10,190 --> 00:03:12,960 Reveal yourself! 88 00:03:13,894 --> 00:03:16,430 Hello, Todd. 89 00:03:17,698 --> 00:03:21,201 I applaud the effort, but I smelled your beard sweat 90 00:03:21,235 --> 00:03:22,770 from a hundred yards out. 91 00:03:23,604 --> 00:03:26,574 So, what did you think? I was just gonna slip up 92 00:03:26,607 --> 00:03:28,876 and let you follow me to the stuff? 93 00:03:28,909 --> 00:03:30,611 No. 94 00:03:30,644 --> 00:03:32,112 [ Chuckles ] 95 00:03:32,145 --> 00:03:34,014 Hilarious. 96 00:03:34,047 --> 00:03:37,418 But I'm not showing you Jimmy Jack corn. 97 00:03:37,451 --> 00:03:40,621 Yeah. Well, we'll see about that. 98 00:03:40,654 --> 00:03:42,256 We'll see, all right. 99 00:03:42,290 --> 00:03:44,792 Yeah, we totally will. 100 00:03:44,825 --> 00:03:47,461 Or will we not? 101 00:03:47,495 --> 00:03:49,630 [ Stammers ] Maybe we won't. 102 00:03:49,663 --> 00:03:51,432 So you're saying we won't? 103 00:03:51,465 --> 00:03:52,400 Yeah. 104 00:03:52,433 --> 00:03:54,101 God damn it, get out of my head, man! 105 00:03:54,134 --> 00:03:56,036 Whoo! Damn it! 106 00:03:56,069 --> 00:03:58,105 You're weak in here. 107 00:03:58,138 --> 00:03:59,640 [ Wheezing ] 108 00:03:59,673 --> 00:04:01,275 Okay, yolonzo, where is your inhaler? 109 00:04:01,309 --> 00:04:02,943 Hmm? 110 00:04:02,976 --> 00:04:05,112 Yolonzo, donde esta tu inhaler? 111 00:04:05,145 --> 00:04:08,115 The Todd. 112 00:04:08,148 --> 00:04:10,784 He made me pay to use. 113 00:04:10,818 --> 00:04:14,988 I give him two sunscreens. 114 00:04:15,022 --> 00:04:17,791 It's not enough. 115 00:04:17,825 --> 00:04:18,792 [ Panting ] 116 00:04:18,826 --> 00:04:22,630 We are his prisoners! 117 00:04:23,464 --> 00:04:27,067 [ "Prisoners" echoing ] 118 00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:28,235 No, you guys, hear me out. 119 00:04:28,268 --> 00:04:29,737 What if we dug a giant pit? 120 00:04:29,770 --> 00:04:31,939 And make it deep enough so that nobody can crawl out. 121 00:04:31,972 --> 00:04:34,351 We can throw Todd in there until he gives us all of our stuff back. 122 00:04:34,375 --> 00:04:36,677 Pit justice, I like it. Yes, finally. 123 00:04:36,710 --> 00:04:38,488 I've been trying to do that to Todd for years. 124 00:04:38,512 --> 00:04:40,848 No, no, no, no. What you're talking about is a prison. 125 00:04:40,881 --> 00:04:42,182 Yeah, flo, face the facts. 126 00:04:42,215 --> 00:04:43,484 Todd took all of our stuff, 127 00:04:43,517 --> 00:04:44,994 and a giant pit is how we get it back. 128 00:04:45,018 --> 00:04:47,154 I mean, come on, you guys. People are dying here. 129 00:04:47,187 --> 00:04:48,322 Que?! 130 00:04:48,356 --> 00:04:50,023 Pit justice. I'm with Emma. 131 00:04:50,057 --> 00:04:51,325 [ Thud ] Mm. 132 00:04:51,359 --> 00:04:53,160 You're talking about putting a man in a hole. 133 00:04:53,193 --> 00:04:55,796 That is a basic human-rights violation. 134 00:04:55,829 --> 00:04:57,841 Ha! Can you guys tell she almost minored in political science? 135 00:04:57,865 --> 00:05:00,200 Oh! Okay, for this pit, what are we thinking? 136 00:05:00,233 --> 00:05:01,201 Beach, jungle? 137 00:05:01,234 --> 00:05:02,503 Who made you leader? 138 00:05:02,536 --> 00:05:05,305 Well, no one is really stepping up here. 139 00:05:05,339 --> 00:05:06,940 Yeah, I think we need an election. 140 00:05:06,974 --> 00:05:09,377 It would be nice for someone to set some ground rules here. 141 00:05:09,410 --> 00:05:11,945 I just wish there was some sort of natural leader, 142 00:05:11,979 --> 00:05:14,147 like a lawyer or a doctor. 143 00:05:14,181 --> 00:05:15,315 Turd, I am a doctor! 144 00:05:15,349 --> 00:05:17,851 Oh, okay. Yeah. You know what? 145 00:05:17,885 --> 00:05:19,520 I nominate myself, okay? 146 00:05:19,553 --> 00:05:22,055 I, Emma, nominate myself for leader. 147 00:05:22,089 --> 00:05:24,057 Good, so we can turn this majestic island 148 00:05:24,091 --> 00:05:26,193 into a north Korean prison state. 149 00:05:26,226 --> 00:05:27,695 I nominate myself. 150 00:05:27,728 --> 00:05:29,339 Florence, come on. Do you really want to go there? 151 00:05:29,363 --> 00:05:32,199 Oh, I already went there, and it's friggin' paradise. 152 00:05:32,232 --> 00:05:33,734 That's a good platform. 153 00:05:33,767 --> 00:05:37,505 Oh, electi-o-o-on!! 154 00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:42,686 So, what are we thinking for this pit? 155 00:05:42,710 --> 00:05:44,077 Eight feet, nine feet? 156 00:05:44,111 --> 00:05:45,646 Hell, why don't we just round up to 10? 157 00:05:45,679 --> 00:05:48,649 I like your style, Emma. You don't pull punches. 158 00:05:48,682 --> 00:05:51,251 The world needs more dragon bitches like us. 159 00:05:51,284 --> 00:05:53,887 I wouldn't call myself a dragon bitch. Maybe... 160 00:05:53,921 --> 00:05:55,656 And I'd love to be a part of your campaign. 161 00:05:55,689 --> 00:05:57,725 Put that black-market bastard in this hole! 162 00:05:57,758 --> 00:06:00,093 Okay. Uh, well, I can use all the help I could get. 163 00:06:00,127 --> 00:06:01,395 So welcome aboard. 164 00:06:01,429 --> 00:06:03,030 Now let's cut the shit and get to work. 165 00:06:03,063 --> 00:06:04,874 The election's tonight, and your hippy-dippy friend 166 00:06:04,898 --> 00:06:07,167 over there is already glad-handing. 167 00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:09,537 [ Indistinct conversation, laughter ] 168 00:06:09,570 --> 00:06:11,204 It's campaigning time. 169 00:06:11,238 --> 00:06:13,541 Hi. Emma. Can I count on your vote tonight? 170 00:06:13,574 --> 00:06:15,943 I'm gonna hold you to it. Gonna hold you to it. 171 00:06:15,976 --> 00:06:18,111 We're family. And family's got to hug. 172 00:06:18,145 --> 00:06:19,246 - Oh. - Yeah. 173 00:06:19,279 --> 00:06:20,714 Flo is the way to go. 174 00:06:20,748 --> 00:06:23,216 Finally! Someone who understands the value of the pit. 175 00:06:23,250 --> 00:06:25,853 Oh, yeah. I can't wait to get Todd in that pit. 176 00:06:25,886 --> 00:06:27,054 Yeah. Start torturing him. 177 00:06:27,087 --> 00:06:28,221 Uh, no. 178 00:06:28,255 --> 00:06:29,790 We're not torturing anyone here. 179 00:06:29,823 --> 00:06:31,091 Oh, right. 180 00:06:31,124 --> 00:06:33,060 We're not torturing anyone here. 181 00:06:33,093 --> 00:06:35,062 We're gonna Guantanamo it. That's smart. 182 00:06:35,095 --> 00:06:36,396 No, still not what I'm saying. 183 00:06:36,430 --> 00:06:37,870 No, no, no, i get what you're saying. 184 00:06:37,898 --> 00:06:40,701 I read you five-by-five. No torture here whatsoever! 185 00:06:40,734 --> 00:06:42,436 Yes. Wink. 186 00:06:42,470 --> 00:06:45,272 Emma wants to throw Todd in a prison for taking our stuff. 187 00:06:45,305 --> 00:06:47,941 But isn't having the stuff the real prison? 188 00:06:47,975 --> 00:06:49,577 [ Imitates explosion ] 189 00:06:49,610 --> 00:06:51,810 If you don't vote for Emma, you can go [Bleep] yourself. 190 00:06:52,913 --> 00:06:54,381 All right, Margaret, see you tonight. 191 00:06:54,414 --> 00:06:58,251 Tick, tock, tick, tock, tick... 192 00:06:58,285 --> 00:07:00,921 Ahh. You're not gonna wait me out, pal. 193 00:07:00,954 --> 00:07:02,590 I'm not going back to the stuff. 194 00:07:02,623 --> 00:07:06,894 At some point, you're gonna need food or water or toilet paper. 195 00:07:06,927 --> 00:07:08,161 Oh, will I? 196 00:07:08,195 --> 00:07:11,064 'Cause you happen to be talking to the guy 197 00:07:11,098 --> 00:07:13,767 that used to shit his pants for laughs. 198 00:07:13,801 --> 00:07:15,168 That's right. 199 00:07:15,202 --> 00:07:17,938 In my fraternity, my nickname was streaks. 200 00:07:17,971 --> 00:07:19,439 Pbht! 201 00:07:19,473 --> 00:07:23,410 Right. Jess told me you guys met at some frat party. 202 00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:24,912 [ Scoffs ] 203 00:07:24,945 --> 00:07:26,446 Did she now? 204 00:07:26,480 --> 00:07:28,649 You guys were together since college. 205 00:07:28,682 --> 00:07:30,150 That's a pretty long time. 206 00:07:30,183 --> 00:07:32,152 I see what you're doing. 207 00:07:32,185 --> 00:07:35,489 Get me talking about Jess and her perfect ta-tas 208 00:07:35,523 --> 00:07:37,357 so I break down and cry and shit. 209 00:07:37,390 --> 00:07:42,663 Well, good luck, pal, 'cause I'm a goddamn rock. 210 00:07:44,665 --> 00:07:47,535 And it wasn't some frat party. 211 00:07:47,568 --> 00:07:49,136 Oh, yeah? 212 00:07:49,169 --> 00:07:53,140 It was the fraternity party of the year. 213 00:07:53,173 --> 00:07:54,484 [ Indistinct shouting ] [ Techno music playing ] 214 00:07:54,508 --> 00:07:56,309 Me and the other boys of beta gamma phi 215 00:07:56,343 --> 00:07:59,212 were having our annual cowboys and Indians party, 216 00:07:59,246 --> 00:08:02,315 the most legendary party on campus. 217 00:08:02,349 --> 00:08:05,686 I was in the keg corner, crushing a stand. 218 00:08:05,719 --> 00:08:09,022 Oh, yeah! 219 00:08:09,056 --> 00:08:10,991 I am a god! 220 00:08:11,024 --> 00:08:14,027 [ All chanting "streaks" ] 54 seconds... new fraternity record. 221 00:08:14,061 --> 00:08:17,898 [ Cheering ] 222 00:08:17,931 --> 00:08:19,232 Whoo! 223 00:08:19,266 --> 00:08:20,834 That's when I saw her. 224 00:08:20,868 --> 00:08:24,204 ** 225 00:08:33,747 --> 00:08:35,583 Hey. Hey. 226 00:08:35,616 --> 00:08:36,650 You heard of me? 227 00:08:36,684 --> 00:08:38,518 No. [ Scoffs ] 228 00:08:38,552 --> 00:08:40,153 Yeah, right. 229 00:08:40,187 --> 00:08:41,364 Todd: And she was the only girl 230 00:08:41,388 --> 00:08:42,890 that wouldn't take any of my guff. 231 00:08:42,923 --> 00:08:44,057 I like your costume. 232 00:08:44,091 --> 00:08:45,926 Hey, thanks. 233 00:08:45,959 --> 00:08:48,996 I'm the wrong Indian. 234 00:08:49,029 --> 00:08:50,197 Cute. 235 00:08:50,230 --> 00:08:52,733 You a freshman? Yeah, just turned 18. 236 00:08:52,766 --> 00:08:53,867 You a senior? 237 00:08:53,901 --> 00:08:55,102 Fifth year. 238 00:08:55,135 --> 00:08:56,604 Cool. 239 00:08:56,637 --> 00:08:59,840 Later that night, we banged. 240 00:08:59,873 --> 00:09:01,241 [ Both moaning ] 241 00:09:02,943 --> 00:09:05,078 Tale as old as time. 242 00:09:05,112 --> 00:09:07,414 [ Retches ] 243 00:09:07,447 --> 00:09:11,218 Yeah. We hooked up for, like, two years after that. 244 00:09:11,251 --> 00:09:13,186 Been officially together for seven. 245 00:09:13,220 --> 00:09:15,388 Well, we were. 246 00:09:15,422 --> 00:09:18,391 Hey, it's not too late to get Jess back. 247 00:09:18,425 --> 00:09:20,327 You just got to show us where the stuff is. 248 00:09:22,896 --> 00:09:26,399 No! I know what you're doing, playing your mind games. 249 00:09:26,433 --> 00:09:28,602 Well, you can eat a butt and go to hell. 250 00:09:28,636 --> 00:09:31,138 You know what? This ends right now. 251 00:09:31,171 --> 00:09:33,707 We're gonna settle this the fraternity way... 252 00:09:33,741 --> 00:09:35,142 Like gentlemen. 253 00:09:38,445 --> 00:09:41,414 Classic drink-off. 254 00:09:41,448 --> 00:09:43,651 You win, I give you back all the stuff. 255 00:09:43,684 --> 00:09:45,452 I win... 256 00:09:45,485 --> 00:09:50,123 You leave me alone and I get your gun. 257 00:09:51,158 --> 00:09:54,628 That's right, your baby. 258 00:09:54,662 --> 00:09:57,831 Come on, Danny boy. You want to be a hero, don't you? 259 00:09:57,865 --> 00:09:59,800 What do you say? 260 00:09:59,833 --> 00:10:02,235 Let's have a little drinky, drinky. 261 00:10:02,269 --> 00:10:05,438 ** 262 00:10:05,472 --> 00:10:07,007 I did a little informal polling. 263 00:10:07,040 --> 00:10:09,109 Okay. There's about a dozen people who are pro-pit. 264 00:10:09,142 --> 00:10:10,610 You'll definitely get those votes. 265 00:10:10,644 --> 00:10:13,113 Okay, great. But Florence has about double that. 266 00:10:13,146 --> 00:10:14,481 Wait, how? 267 00:10:14,514 --> 00:10:15,792 Well, she doesn't offer any solutions, 268 00:10:15,816 --> 00:10:17,617 but people like her, and the voters find you, 269 00:10:17,651 --> 00:10:19,953 well, smug and condescending. 270 00:10:19,987 --> 00:10:22,990 Condescending? Really? They find me condescending? 271 00:10:23,023 --> 00:10:24,157 Idiots. 272 00:10:24,191 --> 00:10:25,425 This is why Hillary struggles. 273 00:10:25,458 --> 00:10:26,694 You know, people are afraid 274 00:10:26,727 --> 00:10:28,428 of a smart, strong, independent woman. 275 00:10:28,461 --> 00:10:30,297 Yeah, i hear you, sister. 276 00:10:30,330 --> 00:10:32,800 You, me, Hillary, we're all the same. 277 00:10:32,833 --> 00:10:35,468 It's like looking in a friggin' mirror. 278 00:10:35,502 --> 00:10:38,171 Okay, you know what? Florence isn't even saying anything. 279 00:10:38,205 --> 00:10:39,506 You know, she's all just like... 280 00:10:39,539 --> 00:10:41,284 [ Imitating Florence ] "One world, one love." 281 00:10:41,308 --> 00:10:42,642 I can't lose. 282 00:10:42,676 --> 00:10:45,545 Okay, I don't lose, especially not to Florence. 283 00:10:45,578 --> 00:10:46,847 Well, i hate to tell you, 284 00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:48,515 you're probably gonna have to pander. 285 00:10:48,548 --> 00:10:49,649 Dumb it down a little. 286 00:10:49,683 --> 00:10:51,919 No, I'm not gonna dumb it down. 287 00:10:54,822 --> 00:10:55,889 What if we got a nader? 288 00:10:55,923 --> 00:10:57,891 You know, like some wild-card third party 289 00:10:57,925 --> 00:10:59,827 that could split up the old idiot vote. 290 00:10:59,860 --> 00:11:01,494 Yes! A likable dummy. 291 00:11:01,528 --> 00:11:03,163 Mm-hmm. But who? 292 00:11:03,196 --> 00:11:05,665 Steve: You know, I've always been a hit with the birds. 293 00:11:05,699 --> 00:11:08,702 Oh! Oh, I guess Polly wants a ginger! 294 00:11:10,403 --> 00:11:12,005 [ Laughs ] Hi, Emma! 295 00:11:12,039 --> 00:11:14,574 ** 296 00:11:17,077 --> 00:11:18,378 What if it was Steve? 297 00:11:18,411 --> 00:11:20,580 Yep, that's what that look was for. 298 00:11:20,613 --> 00:11:21,782 Mm-hmm. 299 00:11:27,454 --> 00:11:28,756 Karen: Hey. 300 00:11:28,789 --> 00:11:30,423 Hey. I don't know about you, 301 00:11:30,457 --> 00:11:32,325 but this food's getting a bit "boaring." 302 00:11:32,359 --> 00:11:33,426 I acknowledge your pun. 303 00:11:33,460 --> 00:11:34,928 Look, Steve, there's something 304 00:11:34,962 --> 00:11:36,263 I'd like to talk to you about. 305 00:11:36,296 --> 00:11:37,364 Okay. 306 00:11:37,397 --> 00:11:38,607 I think you should run for island leader. 307 00:11:38,631 --> 00:11:41,769 [ Giggles ] Oh! That's rich, Karen. 308 00:11:41,802 --> 00:11:42,936 Thanks for the chortle. 309 00:11:42,970 --> 00:11:44,537 Steve, do I look like I'm joking? 310 00:11:45,973 --> 00:11:47,240 No. 311 00:11:47,274 --> 00:11:49,943 [ Sighs ] But me? 312 00:11:49,977 --> 00:11:52,045 Run against Florence and Emma? 313 00:11:52,079 --> 00:11:53,713 People don't listen to me. 314 00:11:53,747 --> 00:11:55,424 These people would. Everyone here likes you. 315 00:11:55,448 --> 00:11:57,284 You have a very nonthreatening face. 316 00:11:57,317 --> 00:12:00,487 Well, thank you. It's almost kind. 317 00:12:01,822 --> 00:12:03,757 I don't know. 318 00:12:03,791 --> 00:12:05,759 I've never been in a position of power. 319 00:12:05,793 --> 00:12:08,695 The way I see it, people think of me 320 00:12:08,728 --> 00:12:11,398 as some kind of a joke, you know? 321 00:12:11,431 --> 00:12:15,635 Steve, here, we could be different. 322 00:12:15,668 --> 00:12:17,470 What do you want to be? 323 00:12:17,504 --> 00:12:20,808 ** 324 00:12:20,841 --> 00:12:22,242 The rules are simple. 325 00:12:22,275 --> 00:12:25,245 First one to pass out, shit their pants, or puke loses. 326 00:12:25,278 --> 00:12:28,481 [ Bottle slides ] We got shot for shot. 327 00:12:28,515 --> 00:12:30,117 Shot for shot? 328 00:12:30,150 --> 00:12:31,751 Shot for shot! 329 00:12:31,785 --> 00:12:34,822 All right, then shut up, and let's drink! 330 00:12:34,855 --> 00:12:36,556 So it begins. 331 00:12:36,589 --> 00:12:37,324 [ Applause ] 332 00:12:37,357 --> 00:12:38,826 Before we begin tonight, 333 00:12:38,859 --> 00:12:42,429 I would like to announce that we have a new candidate. 334 00:12:42,462 --> 00:12:43,763 Steve! 335 00:12:43,797 --> 00:12:44,965 Yeah! [ Cheering ] 336 00:12:44,998 --> 00:12:46,934 - Steve! - Thank you. 337 00:12:46,967 --> 00:12:48,468 Yeah! 338 00:12:48,501 --> 00:12:50,770 Hello, Wembley! Two, two... is this on? 339 00:12:50,804 --> 00:12:52,239 [ Laughter ] 340 00:12:52,272 --> 00:12:55,408 It's not really a microphone, just a bit of mime there. 341 00:12:55,442 --> 00:12:57,144 [ Cap clatters ] Nice. 342 00:12:57,177 --> 00:13:00,147 ** 343 00:13:00,180 --> 00:13:02,282 Oh! That's good! [ Coughs ] 344 00:13:02,315 --> 00:13:03,516 That was great. 345 00:13:03,550 --> 00:13:05,252 The first one is hard. I'm cool, man. 346 00:13:05,285 --> 00:13:06,786 I'm cool as a fan right now. 347 00:13:06,820 --> 00:13:08,155 I grew up on this stuff. 348 00:13:08,188 --> 00:13:11,158 My housekeeper was Mexican. Her name was carlita. 349 00:13:11,191 --> 00:13:12,826 She used to make it in a mop bucket. 350 00:13:12,860 --> 00:13:16,696 Yeah, well, my dad worked in finance, 80 hours a week. 351 00:13:16,729 --> 00:13:19,032 And he had a smoking-hot secretary, 352 00:13:19,066 --> 00:13:23,536 so, yeah, my mom had a full bar. 353 00:13:23,570 --> 00:13:26,106 Missy, you don't want to throw someone in the pit, 354 00:13:26,139 --> 00:13:27,707 then how do you want to deal with crime? 355 00:13:27,740 --> 00:13:31,879 Through rehabilitation, not incarceration. 356 00:13:31,912 --> 00:13:33,280 So, what are you saying? 357 00:13:33,313 --> 00:13:37,317 I'm not saying anything. I'm just trying to listen. 358 00:13:37,350 --> 00:13:40,053 I guess I never thought of it like that before. 359 00:13:40,087 --> 00:13:42,722 [ Cheers and applause ] 360 00:13:44,724 --> 00:13:46,894 What is that, eight? [ Scoffs ] 361 00:13:46,927 --> 00:13:48,228 [ Both laugh ] 362 00:13:48,261 --> 00:13:49,829 I'm not even feeling it! 363 00:13:51,331 --> 00:13:53,733 Did you shit yourself? I haven't shit myself yet. 364 00:13:54,434 --> 00:13:56,236 Right out of the bottle. All right. 365 00:13:56,269 --> 00:13:57,537 Shot for shot. 366 00:13:57,570 --> 00:13:59,472 Welcome to the wonderful world of herpes. 367 00:13:59,506 --> 00:14:00,840 [ Laughing ] I already have 'em. 368 00:14:00,874 --> 00:14:03,743 Oh, what's that? You want another shot? 369 00:14:03,776 --> 00:14:04,844 Yes, please. 370 00:14:05,845 --> 00:14:07,814 [ Both screaming ] 371 00:14:07,847 --> 00:14:09,716 [ Laughing ] Ooh! 372 00:14:10,417 --> 00:14:12,920 Are you into phish? 373 00:14:12,953 --> 00:14:14,187 Yeah. Me too. 374 00:14:14,221 --> 00:14:16,856 Emma, is there a limit to how long Todd 375 00:14:16,890 --> 00:14:20,027 will have to stay in the pit and, if so, will you reconsider? 376 00:14:20,060 --> 00:14:23,596 If I could call upon my medical training for an analogy... 377 00:14:25,098 --> 00:14:30,938 uh, Todd's gonorrhea, and we got to stop the burning. 378 00:14:30,971 --> 00:14:33,740 [ Cheers and applause ] 379 00:14:33,773 --> 00:14:35,542 ** 380 00:14:37,644 --> 00:14:38,745 [ gasps ] 381 00:14:41,548 --> 00:14:43,750 Whoa! 382 00:14:43,783 --> 00:14:44,952 Whoo! Whoo! 383 00:14:44,985 --> 00:14:48,721 I thought you were down, and you're back up, man! 384 00:14:48,755 --> 00:14:49,856 You know what? 385 00:14:49,889 --> 00:14:52,125 You're cool, man. You're a cool guy. 386 00:14:52,159 --> 00:14:54,027 You're a cool guy, man. 387 00:14:54,061 --> 00:14:55,395 [ Both laughing ] 388 00:14:56,463 --> 00:14:59,132 I got a nickname for you. 389 00:14:59,166 --> 00:15:00,700 You ready? Yeah. 390 00:15:00,733 --> 00:15:01,868 Chumbawamba. 391 00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:02,936 I love it, man. 392 00:15:02,970 --> 00:15:05,872 But... but also, like... Why? 393 00:15:05,905 --> 00:15:10,077 Because you get knocked down, then... 394 00:15:10,110 --> 00:15:12,745 You always get back up again. 395 00:15:12,779 --> 00:15:16,549 That's like the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me, man. 396 00:15:16,583 --> 00:15:18,651 You don't have a lot of friends, do you, chumba? 397 00:15:18,685 --> 00:15:21,488 I do, but I just don't know if, like, they're friends 398 00:15:21,521 --> 00:15:25,258 with me because of me or because of my money. 399 00:15:25,292 --> 00:15:27,660 What, are you a billionaire? 400 00:15:27,694 --> 00:15:28,828 Yeah. 401 00:15:28,861 --> 00:15:30,163 I'm a billionaire. 402 00:15:30,197 --> 00:15:32,165 I'm a billionaire, man. 403 00:15:32,199 --> 00:15:33,566 [ Both laughing ] 404 00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:36,636 I'm trying to make a billionaire shit his pants! 405 00:15:36,669 --> 00:15:37,804 [ Laughs ] 406 00:15:37,837 --> 00:15:39,872 ** 407 00:15:42,442 --> 00:15:44,577 I'm voting for Emma mainly because she's 408 00:15:44,611 --> 00:15:46,746 the only one that wants to throw Todd into a hole. 409 00:15:46,779 --> 00:15:49,449 Well, my vote's for Steve. The guy's voice cracks me up. 410 00:15:49,482 --> 00:15:50,683 He's all like... 411 00:15:50,717 --> 00:15:52,285 [ Imitating Steve ] "Oh, cup of tea." 412 00:15:52,319 --> 00:15:54,854 And I like the idea of the pit, but a lady as a leader? 413 00:15:54,887 --> 00:15:55,989 Not in my America. 414 00:15:56,023 --> 00:15:57,524 My vote is for Florence 415 00:15:57,557 --> 00:16:01,194 because she's the only one who actually calls me Kurt. 416 00:16:01,228 --> 00:16:02,862 Oh, just hand me the ballot, turdhole! 417 00:16:02,895 --> 00:16:05,098 I don't know why you people keep saying shit out loud. 418 00:16:05,132 --> 00:16:06,366 Sorry. Sorry. 419 00:16:06,399 --> 00:16:11,938 * 'cause you're my little baby bird * 420 00:16:11,971 --> 00:16:13,040 that's all I have. 421 00:16:16,809 --> 00:16:19,579 ** 422 00:16:22,382 --> 00:16:25,485 You lose, lightweight. 423 00:16:31,091 --> 00:16:33,393 Streaks! 424 00:16:33,426 --> 00:16:36,996 [ Grunts ] 425 00:16:37,030 --> 00:16:39,866 Ah. 426 00:16:39,899 --> 00:16:41,368 Ahh. 427 00:16:41,401 --> 00:16:42,869 Worth the wait. 428 00:16:46,339 --> 00:16:48,017 As a notary public from the great state of Ohio, 429 00:16:48,041 --> 00:16:50,343 I have counted all the votes. 430 00:16:50,377 --> 00:16:53,246 And the new leader of the island is... 431 00:16:53,280 --> 00:16:56,749 ** 432 00:16:56,783 --> 00:16:59,519 Steve! 433 00:16:59,552 --> 00:17:00,520 What? [ Cheering ] 434 00:17:00,553 --> 00:17:02,155 Oh, wow! Who's a winner?! 435 00:17:02,189 --> 00:17:03,323 Yeah, okay, so, no, sorry. 436 00:17:03,356 --> 00:17:04,924 [ Chuckles ] I demand a recount. 437 00:17:04,957 --> 00:17:06,359 Oh, no, honey, he won. 438 00:17:06,393 --> 00:17:08,261 You don't think we saw you two running around, 439 00:17:08,295 --> 00:17:09,362 throwing shade? 440 00:17:09,396 --> 00:17:11,064 You crazy bitches did not help yourself. 441 00:17:11,098 --> 00:17:12,332 Are you people kidding me? 442 00:17:12,365 --> 00:17:13,666 I mean, I am a doctor! 443 00:17:13,700 --> 00:17:14,877 I'm the only doctor on the island. 444 00:17:14,901 --> 00:17:16,336 This is just some likeable dummy! 445 00:17:16,369 --> 00:17:18,214 I mean, he wouldn't even be running if it wasn't for me. 446 00:17:18,238 --> 00:17:19,172 [ Laughs ] 447 00:17:19,206 --> 00:17:20,907 Hold on. You asked him to run? 448 00:17:20,940 --> 00:17:22,609 What? Oh, no, no. 449 00:17:22,642 --> 00:17:24,544 Actually, it was Karen. 450 00:17:24,577 --> 00:17:26,279 Oh. Why? Thank you. 451 00:17:26,313 --> 00:17:27,814 Uh... 452 00:17:28,815 --> 00:17:31,951 Because... 453 00:17:31,984 --> 00:17:34,287 Ah, screw this! 454 00:17:34,321 --> 00:17:37,457 Because Emma and me wanted to split the idiot vote. 455 00:17:37,490 --> 00:17:39,526 There, I said it! 456 00:17:39,559 --> 00:17:42,562 And if you didn't vote for Emma, then you're a moron! 457 00:17:42,595 --> 00:17:44,231 That's the truth. 458 00:17:44,264 --> 00:17:45,265 [ Booing ] 459 00:17:45,298 --> 00:17:46,299 [ Chuckles ] 460 00:17:46,333 --> 00:17:48,635 You'd rather cheat than lose to me? 461 00:17:48,668 --> 00:17:50,303 No, Florence. You're right. 462 00:17:50,337 --> 00:17:53,906 I am a moron... for being friends with you for this long. 463 00:17:53,940 --> 00:17:55,142 Florence... 464 00:17:55,175 --> 00:17:58,077 You're gonna love San Francisco... 465 00:17:59,246 --> 00:18:02,315 if you ever make it there. 466 00:18:02,349 --> 00:18:03,716 Yeah, well... 467 00:18:03,750 --> 00:18:06,419 I'm sure you will like it, 'cause you're a snooty bitch! 468 00:18:06,453 --> 00:18:09,222 What? I hope you choke on sourdough. 469 00:18:09,256 --> 00:18:10,423 Yep. She's a celiac! 470 00:18:10,457 --> 00:18:11,991 Feed her bread whenever you want! 471 00:18:12,024 --> 00:18:15,395 Okay. It's a digestive issue. [ Chuckles ] 472 00:18:15,428 --> 00:18:18,064 What's up, losers? What's all this? 473 00:18:18,097 --> 00:18:21,401 I think you mean what's all this? 474 00:18:21,434 --> 00:18:22,502 [ Thud ] 475 00:18:22,535 --> 00:18:24,237 [ All gasping ] -God damn. -Whoa. 476 00:18:24,271 --> 00:18:27,340 Todd's stash, i found it. 477 00:18:27,374 --> 00:18:30,410 Chalk that up to classic police work. 478 00:18:30,443 --> 00:18:31,778 [ Cheering ] 479 00:18:31,811 --> 00:18:35,282 ** 480 00:18:41,354 --> 00:18:43,856 Captain Danny solves the crime... 481 00:18:43,890 --> 00:18:45,758 Every time. 482 00:18:45,792 --> 00:18:48,595 What the hell, chumba?! 483 00:18:48,628 --> 00:18:50,096 You were down for the count. 484 00:18:50,129 --> 00:18:52,365 Yeah, well, here's a funny story. 485 00:18:52,399 --> 00:18:54,100 You lose, lightweight. 486 00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:57,704 The only people that drink more than frat guys... 487 00:18:57,737 --> 00:18:59,606 Worth the wait. 488 00:18:59,639 --> 00:19:02,375 Are the super lonely... 489 00:19:02,409 --> 00:19:04,211 Which I am. 490 00:19:04,244 --> 00:19:07,214 [ Chuckles ] Well... 491 00:19:07,247 --> 00:19:10,283 You forgot I still have the gun! 492 00:19:10,317 --> 00:19:11,984 What?! Yeah! 493 00:19:12,018 --> 00:19:15,855 Good luck firing that gun... 494 00:19:15,888 --> 00:19:18,157 Without any of these. 495 00:19:18,191 --> 00:19:20,159 [ Bullets clatter ] Oh, the bullets. No. 496 00:19:20,193 --> 00:19:21,528 [ Gun clicking ] Yep. 497 00:19:21,561 --> 00:19:23,196 Damn it, damn it! 498 00:19:23,230 --> 00:19:24,740 You think I was gonna keep a loaded gun 499 00:19:24,764 --> 00:19:25,832 next to my dick and balls? 500 00:19:25,865 --> 00:19:27,634 [ Cheering ] Yeah, balls! 501 00:19:27,667 --> 00:19:30,370 Whatever. You guys had crappy stuff anyway. 502 00:19:30,403 --> 00:19:32,505 What's up, Jess? 503 00:19:33,740 --> 00:19:36,509 What are we gonna do about you? 504 00:19:36,543 --> 00:19:39,812 Oh, look who's Mr. tough guy now. 505 00:19:39,846 --> 00:19:41,314 You guys elected him? 506 00:19:41,348 --> 00:19:44,016 He's the biggest joke on the island! 507 00:19:44,050 --> 00:19:45,385 Let's dig that pit! 508 00:19:45,418 --> 00:19:46,419 [ Cheering ] 509 00:19:46,453 --> 00:19:48,321 Uh, we got the stuff. We don't need a pit. 510 00:19:48,355 --> 00:19:49,556 I think we do. 511 00:19:49,589 --> 00:19:51,658 We can't have a society without "lawr" and order. 512 00:19:51,691 --> 00:19:52,859 "Lawr." 513 00:19:52,892 --> 00:19:54,427 And this guy's got to do his time. 514 00:19:54,461 --> 00:19:56,929 So I say... 515 00:19:56,963 --> 00:19:58,731 ** 516 00:19:58,765 --> 00:20:00,333 Throw him in the pit! [ Thud ] 517 00:20:00,367 --> 00:20:02,168 [ Cheering ] 518 00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:03,670 [ All chanting "pit" ] 519 00:20:03,703 --> 00:20:05,605 You can't do that. 520 00:20:05,638 --> 00:20:09,942 Sure I can. 521 00:20:09,976 --> 00:20:13,112 It's within the law. 522 00:20:17,984 --> 00:20:19,686 The Steve law. 523 00:20:19,719 --> 00:20:21,521 [ Sighs ] 524 00:20:21,554 --> 00:20:22,922 [ Snaps fingers ] Grab him! 525 00:20:22,955 --> 00:20:25,258 Grab who? Hey, no, come on! 526 00:20:25,292 --> 00:20:26,735 - Let's go. - Get off of me! Let me go! 527 00:20:26,759 --> 00:20:28,795 Okay, okay, you got me. You got me. You got me. 528 00:20:28,828 --> 00:20:30,530 Squeeze him. [ Spits ] [Bleep] You. 529 00:20:30,563 --> 00:20:32,231 Nigel, you weren't tight enough. 530 00:20:34,233 --> 00:20:38,705 This is effed up! I'm talking about this and this! 531 00:20:38,738 --> 00:20:40,973 I swear, your sex swing, Danny? 532 00:20:41,007 --> 00:20:43,310 Why did you pack this, man? 533 00:20:43,343 --> 00:20:47,046 Oh, god, I bet it's got your butt juice all over it! 534 00:20:47,079 --> 00:20:48,715 Doesn't it, you freak?! 535 00:20:48,748 --> 00:20:51,384 I hope you're all rock hard. 536 00:20:51,418 --> 00:20:53,720 [ Laughs ] 537 00:20:53,753 --> 00:20:55,322 I shit myself.