1 00:00:01,578 --> 00:00:03,847 Previously on Scream Queens.... HESTER: Does this killer wear 2 00:00:03,880 --> 00:00:06,850 a mask with horns and leave a trail of green slime? 3 00:00:06,883 --> 00:00:08,051 You know who the killer is. 4 00:00:08,085 --> 00:00:09,753 I also know that there's a connection 5 00:00:09,786 --> 00:00:11,688 to the Halloween murders that happened 30 years ago. 6 00:00:11,722 --> 00:00:12,723 1986. 7 00:00:12,756 --> 00:00:13,924 The entire hospital staff 8 00:00:13,957 --> 00:00:15,092 was murdered 9 00:00:15,126 --> 00:00:16,527 on Halloween night. 10 00:00:16,560 --> 00:00:17,728 Are you guys boning? (giggles) 11 00:00:17,761 --> 00:00:19,062 I want you back. 12 00:00:19,096 --> 00:00:20,097 Back off Chanel. 13 00:00:20,131 --> 00:00:21,365 I'm the recipient of the world's 14 00:00:21,398 --> 00:00:22,566 first complete hand transplant. 15 00:00:22,599 --> 00:00:23,700 Dr. Brock Holt 16 00:00:23,734 --> 00:00:25,869 has the hand of one of the world's 17 00:00:25,902 --> 00:00:27,871 most notorious serial killers. 18 00:00:27,904 --> 00:00:29,606 Now you know my secret. 19 00:00:29,640 --> 00:00:31,375 I love you so much, Chanel #5. 20 00:00:31,408 --> 00:00:33,544 (screams) 21 00:00:33,577 --> 00:00:35,078 (gasps) 22 00:00:39,783 --> 00:00:43,554 Ladies... we have another serial killer on our hands. 23 00:00:43,587 --> 00:00:46,457 And the killer is... Number Five! 24 00:00:46,490 --> 00:00:48,892 What? Me? Yes. You. 25 00:00:48,925 --> 00:00:50,727 I think poor, warty Tyler here 26 00:00:50,761 --> 00:00:53,930 probably saw you naked and gagged, and you were so enraged, 27 00:00:53,964 --> 00:00:55,766 you decided to he had to die. 28 00:00:55,799 --> 00:00:57,734 What are you talking about? I didn't kill him, 29 00:00:57,768 --> 00:00:59,570 I was with you the whole time! 30 00:00:59,603 --> 00:01:01,638 So? You were with us a whole lot at Kappa House 31 00:01:01,672 --> 00:01:03,073 when folks were getting killed left and right. 32 00:01:03,106 --> 00:01:05,309 And I'm still convinced you were responsible 33 00:01:05,342 --> 00:01:07,744 for at least some of those murders. You guys. 34 00:01:07,778 --> 00:01:09,413 There's a serial killer on the loose, and Hester said 35 00:01:09,446 --> 00:01:11,248 she had information about who it might be. 36 00:01:11,282 --> 00:01:12,983 I think we should give in to her outrageous demands 37 00:01:13,016 --> 00:01:14,318 for discontinued designer cosmetics 38 00:01:14,351 --> 00:01:15,586 and get her moved to this hospital. 39 00:01:15,619 --> 00:01:18,088 You idiot! She'll try to kill us! 40 00:01:18,121 --> 00:01:20,324 Number Five is right. Neckbrace is dangerous. 41 00:01:20,357 --> 00:01:22,426 First, we need to do a little detective work on our own, 42 00:01:22,459 --> 00:01:24,761 and then we'll go to Hester. 43 00:01:24,795 --> 00:01:25,962 (sighs) All right. 44 00:01:25,996 --> 00:01:27,831 Let's get this body down to the meat locker. 45 00:01:27,864 --> 00:01:30,301 Last time we tried to hide a lot of bodies in the meat locker, 46 00:01:30,334 --> 00:01:32,436 like, every single one of them got stolen. 47 00:01:32,469 --> 00:01:36,106 (door opens) MUNSCH: What is going on in here? 48 00:01:36,139 --> 00:01:38,108 CHANEL #5: Shouldn't we call the police? MUNSCH: Girls! 49 00:01:38,141 --> 00:01:40,511 This place is called the C.U.R.E. Institute. 50 00:01:40,544 --> 00:01:43,447 Do you know what the opposite of cure is? Death! 51 00:01:43,480 --> 00:01:46,950 Now, if word gets out that we have two dead patients, 52 00:01:46,983 --> 00:01:49,620 at a hospital where the Chanels just happen to be working, 53 00:01:49,653 --> 00:01:52,155 that has the distinctive odor of another serial killer 54 00:01:52,189 --> 00:01:54,191 on the loose, and we cannot have that. 55 00:01:54,225 --> 00:01:56,527 Because all my hard work will be for naught, 56 00:01:56,560 --> 00:01:58,629 they'll come in here and close this place down, 57 00:01:58,662 --> 00:02:00,631 and I'll die! Wait, what? 58 00:02:00,664 --> 00:02:02,199 (wheels screech) 59 00:02:02,233 --> 00:02:03,534 I-I just meant that 60 00:02:03,567 --> 00:02:05,135 I've poured so much into this place 61 00:02:05,168 --> 00:02:07,338 that if they ever closed it, I would just die. 62 00:02:07,371 --> 00:02:08,805 Now, come on. 63 00:02:08,839 --> 00:02:10,173 we have to get Tyler into the swamp. 64 00:02:10,207 --> 00:02:12,042 Come on! 65 00:02:12,075 --> 00:02:13,877 CHANEL #5: Wait, what? We can't just throw him in the swamp, 66 00:02:13,910 --> 00:02:15,212 that's, like, destruction of evidence! 67 00:02:15,246 --> 00:02:16,980 MUNSCH: We are not destroying anything. 68 00:02:17,013 --> 00:02:18,982 Swamps preserve things. 69 00:02:19,015 --> 00:02:20,651 She's right. Every week, you hear another story about 70 00:02:20,684 --> 00:02:23,554 somebody discovering a perfectly preserved caveman in a swamp. 71 00:02:23,587 --> 00:02:25,222 You're thinking of a bog. 72 00:02:25,256 --> 00:02:28,191 Okay, fine. I'm glad you took a class in comparative wetlands. 73 00:02:28,225 --> 00:02:29,893 Maybe you could put in the same effort 74 00:02:29,926 --> 00:02:31,495 into figuring out who the killer is! 75 00:02:31,528 --> 00:02:33,497 It could be any of you. 76 00:02:33,530 --> 00:02:36,166 That's why we have to dispose of this body. 77 00:02:36,199 --> 00:02:39,169 It will buy us time so I can solve this internally. 78 00:02:39,202 --> 00:02:42,573 I would just like to say my good-byes. 79 00:02:42,606 --> 00:02:43,707 Oh, dear God. 80 00:02:47,043 --> 00:02:48,845 Tyler... 81 00:02:48,879 --> 00:02:51,214 I loved you. 82 00:02:51,248 --> 00:02:52,516 Warts and all! 83 00:02:52,549 --> 00:02:54,050 (squishes) 84 00:02:55,886 --> 00:02:58,689 Oh, my God. Did you just make his corpse barf? 85 00:02:58,722 --> 00:03:00,524 On three. One, 86 00:03:00,557 --> 00:03:01,692 two... 87 00:03:01,725 --> 00:03:03,694 ALL: Three! (grunting) 88 00:03:03,727 --> 00:03:05,262 (sighs) 89 00:03:05,296 --> 00:03:07,097 MUNSCH: All right. Let's get back inside 90 00:03:07,130 --> 00:03:08,565 before anybody sees us. 91 00:03:10,767 --> 00:03:12,536 And not a word about this to anyone 92 00:03:12,569 --> 00:03:13,770 ever. 93 00:03:15,238 --> 00:03:17,240 I love you, Tyler! 94 00:03:18,742 --> 00:03:20,243 (sobs) Gross. 95 00:03:20,277 --> 00:03:21,745 Okay, we get it, Number Five. 96 00:03:21,778 --> 00:03:23,880 Another one of your boyfriends was murdered. 97 00:03:23,914 --> 00:03:26,016 Get over it. 98 00:03:30,921 --> 00:03:32,589 * 99 00:03:45,769 --> 00:03:47,070 (bucket clatters) 100 00:03:47,103 --> 00:03:49,473 (laughs) 101 00:03:55,312 --> 00:03:57,080 (whoops) 102 00:03:57,113 --> 00:03:58,849 Hot dog! 103 00:04:00,684 --> 00:04:03,253 Anyone around? 104 00:04:03,286 --> 00:04:06,590 Think my Jumping Frenchman of Maine disorder 105 00:04:06,623 --> 00:04:08,492 is cured. 106 00:04:08,525 --> 00:04:09,593 Hello? 107 00:04:09,626 --> 00:04:12,496 (elevator dings) 108 00:04:14,130 --> 00:04:15,999 Oh! Hi there. 109 00:04:16,032 --> 00:04:17,834 This some kind of test? 110 00:04:19,636 --> 00:04:21,672 Fantastic. I honestly don't feel 111 00:04:21,705 --> 00:04:25,175 any anxiety at all. 112 00:04:25,208 --> 00:04:27,511 I mean, you look very scary, I'm gonna give you that. 113 00:04:27,544 --> 00:04:29,646 But no, 114 00:04:29,680 --> 00:04:32,616 all I feel is just happy to be alive 115 00:04:32,649 --> 00:04:35,151 and ready to take on the world. 116 00:04:35,185 --> 00:04:36,520 (chuckles) 117 00:04:36,553 --> 00:04:38,355 Oh! 118 00:04:38,389 --> 00:04:40,624 Wow! This is incredible. 119 00:04:40,657 --> 00:04:41,825 (chuckling): I'm transformed... 120 00:04:41,858 --> 00:04:42,959 (screams) 121 00:04:42,993 --> 00:04:45,295 God! That hurts! Oh! 122 00:04:45,328 --> 00:04:47,197 No, no, no... please, please, please... 123 00:04:47,230 --> 00:04:50,000 (screams) 124 00:04:52,503 --> 00:04:54,738 Oh, God! 125 00:04:56,673 --> 00:04:58,675 * 126 00:05:06,683 --> 00:05:09,185 (footsteps echoing) 127 00:05:13,524 --> 00:05:15,659 Hello, Chanels. 128 00:05:15,692 --> 00:05:17,193 Dean Munsch. 129 00:05:17,227 --> 00:05:18,995 CHANEL: Hester, 130 00:05:19,029 --> 00:05:21,031 we come to you today not as adversaries, 131 00:05:21,064 --> 00:05:23,166 whom you had committed to an insane asylum 132 00:05:23,199 --> 00:05:25,902 after framing us for a series of murders that you orchestrated, 133 00:05:25,936 --> 00:05:28,672 but as fellow Chanels. (chuckles) 134 00:05:28,705 --> 00:05:30,674 What's with the old exercise video? 135 00:05:30,707 --> 00:05:32,543 Sweatin' to the Oldies 2. 136 00:05:32,576 --> 00:05:34,678 When you leave, they'll turn the volume way up. 137 00:05:34,711 --> 00:05:37,681 The warden does enjoy her petty torments. 138 00:05:37,714 --> 00:05:39,049 Someone is targeting the patients 139 00:05:39,082 --> 00:05:40,684 at the C.U.R.E. Institute. 140 00:05:40,717 --> 00:05:44,387 Two have been murdered, and a third... is missing. 141 00:05:45,622 --> 00:05:46,690 He's dead, isn't he? 142 00:05:46,723 --> 00:05:47,858 (whispering): Of course he's dead. 143 00:05:47,891 --> 00:05:49,860 You know who the killer is, don't you? 144 00:05:49,893 --> 00:05:52,028 I know who it is because it's obvious. 145 00:05:52,062 --> 00:05:54,364 The clues are right there in front of you, 146 00:05:54,397 --> 00:05:58,034 but I'm not gonna answer any more of your questions 147 00:05:58,068 --> 00:05:59,736 until you give me what I want. 148 00:05:59,770 --> 00:06:01,872 A transfer to your hospital, and a room with a view. 149 00:06:01,905 --> 00:06:03,540 (scoffs) You see, 150 00:06:03,574 --> 00:06:06,376 that transfer's never gonna happen. 151 00:06:06,409 --> 00:06:08,479 You're never gonna leave this asylum. 152 00:06:10,747 --> 00:06:12,549 But I did acquiesce to one of your requests. 153 00:06:12,583 --> 00:06:14,585 There it is. 154 00:06:14,618 --> 00:06:17,588 A Room with a View, 1985. VHS version. 155 00:06:17,621 --> 00:06:19,122 Enjoy it. 156 00:06:19,155 --> 00:06:20,591 Don't toy with me, sluts. 157 00:06:20,624 --> 00:06:21,892 The longer you stall, the more outrageous 158 00:06:21,925 --> 00:06:23,460 my demands will become. 159 00:06:23,494 --> 00:06:25,929 Now, I insist. You finalize the purchase in my name 160 00:06:25,962 --> 00:06:28,231 of a timeshare in Cabo San Lucas, where I will enjoy 161 00:06:28,264 --> 00:06:31,401 six all-expense paid weekends a year, no blackout dates! 162 00:06:31,434 --> 00:06:32,636 You're insane! 163 00:06:32,669 --> 00:06:34,104 The clock is ticking, Munsch! 164 00:06:34,137 --> 00:06:36,406 The killings will only get worse 165 00:06:36,439 --> 00:06:38,074 until I get what I want. 166 00:06:38,108 --> 00:06:40,243 Body count is about to go through the roof. 167 00:06:40,276 --> 00:06:42,245 And from what I hear, 168 00:06:42,278 --> 00:06:46,082 this Green Meanie will make the Red Devil look like... 169 00:06:46,116 --> 00:06:48,118 a Girl Scout. 170 00:06:48,151 --> 00:06:51,154 Please, Hester. He's murdered Number Five's hideous boyfriend. 171 00:06:51,187 --> 00:06:53,089 Please tell us who it is. 172 00:06:53,123 --> 00:06:56,593 All good things come to those who wait. 173 00:06:56,627 --> 00:06:58,161 Oh, Hester, please! Hester, help us. 174 00:06:58,194 --> 00:07:00,096 Somebody was killed at the hospital yesterday, 175 00:07:00,130 --> 00:07:01,932 and you're gonna tell us who the killer is! 176 00:07:01,965 --> 00:07:04,334 (gasps) The clues are right in front of you, Chanel! 177 00:07:04,367 --> 00:07:06,603 Oh... 178 00:07:06,637 --> 00:07:08,939 Your skin is looking a little dry. 179 00:07:08,972 --> 00:07:11,675 Maybe you should try some 180 00:07:11,708 --> 00:07:13,977 Esrun Cream. 181 00:07:14,010 --> 00:07:15,478 (gasps) 182 00:07:15,512 --> 00:07:17,113 Esrun Cream? 183 00:07:17,147 --> 00:07:18,314 (beeps) 184 00:07:20,651 --> 00:07:23,186 Oh, what is it? It's a text. 185 00:07:23,219 --> 00:07:25,956 From Chad Radwell. 186 00:07:25,989 --> 00:07:28,291 See, he's saying, "I know who the killer is." 187 00:07:28,324 --> 00:07:31,361 Which means we didn't have to come here in the first place. 188 00:07:31,394 --> 00:07:34,030 I hope you rot in here forever. 189 00:07:34,064 --> 00:07:36,332 Girls! Ride is leaving. 190 00:07:36,366 --> 00:07:38,134 Door! 191 00:07:38,168 --> 00:07:39,903 * 192 00:07:46,910 --> 00:07:49,646 Pretty damning evidence, is it not? 193 00:07:49,680 --> 00:07:51,147 I-I don't understand... 194 00:07:51,181 --> 00:07:53,650 All this is is a file of the man 195 00:07:53,684 --> 00:07:54,885 who was Dr. Brock's hand transplant. 196 00:07:54,918 --> 00:07:56,553 Fact: 197 00:07:56,587 --> 00:07:59,489 there's a serial killer somewhere in this hospital. 198 00:07:59,522 --> 00:08:01,524 Fact: he probably had something to do with that dude 199 00:08:01,558 --> 00:08:03,326 that looks like the Fruit of the Looms grapes, 200 00:08:03,359 --> 00:08:05,896 and my good buddy Randal disappearing from said hospital 201 00:08:05,929 --> 00:08:08,031 without being discharged or cured. 202 00:08:08,064 --> 00:08:10,200 Fact: Dr. Hairline over here 203 00:08:10,233 --> 00:08:12,836 has the hand of a deranged serial killer. 204 00:08:12,869 --> 00:08:14,370 And finally, fact: 205 00:08:14,404 --> 00:08:16,006 we know from every horror movie ever 206 00:08:16,039 --> 00:08:17,407 about people getting the hand 207 00:08:17,440 --> 00:08:19,009 of a serial killer put on their body-- 208 00:08:19,042 --> 00:08:20,510 that hand eventually takes over 209 00:08:20,543 --> 00:08:21,845 and starts murdering folks. 210 00:08:21,878 --> 00:08:23,079 (scoffs) 211 00:08:23,113 --> 00:08:25,415 There is zero scientific evidence 212 00:08:25,448 --> 00:08:27,684 of any transplant recipient exhibiting behavior 213 00:08:27,718 --> 00:08:30,353 related to the donor. 214 00:08:30,386 --> 00:08:32,756 Wait, wasn't your hand doing all that crazy stuff 215 00:08:32,789 --> 00:08:34,357 at the movie theater? Yes, it was my hand, 216 00:08:34,390 --> 00:08:36,526 but occasionally, it spasms and sort of 217 00:08:36,559 --> 00:08:39,229 gives the appearance of, uh, a life of its own. 218 00:08:39,262 --> 00:08:40,864 But I swear to God, I would never 219 00:08:40,897 --> 00:08:42,398 kill anyone with it. 220 00:08:42,432 --> 00:08:44,434 Chanel. 221 00:08:44,467 --> 00:08:46,236 You have no choice but to reject this man 222 00:08:46,269 --> 00:08:49,239 and that gay, murdering hand, and start boning me again. 223 00:08:49,272 --> 00:08:51,207 Chanel, before you say anything, I just want you to know that I'm 224 00:08:51,241 --> 00:08:54,210 the highest paid sperm donor in the state. Oh, my sperm? 225 00:08:54,244 --> 00:08:55,946 Are we talking about sperm? Yeah, we're talking about sperm. 226 00:08:55,979 --> 00:08:57,380 Oh, that's great. We having a sperm-off? 227 00:08:57,413 --> 00:08:58,715 (scoffs) No. Oh! Okay. 228 00:08:58,749 --> 00:08:59,916 'Cause you know what? I would win, 229 00:08:59,950 --> 00:09:01,584 because I banged both women 230 00:09:01,618 --> 00:09:02,585 in this room. 231 00:09:02,619 --> 00:09:04,387 With my sperm! Enough! 232 00:09:04,420 --> 00:09:07,257 I don't choose you, Dr. Brock. 233 00:09:07,290 --> 00:09:09,325 And I don't choose you either, Chad. 234 00:09:10,593 --> 00:09:12,262 I choose me. 235 00:09:12,295 --> 00:09:14,430 Chanel Oberlin. 236 00:09:14,464 --> 00:09:16,132 And I am not some little girl anymore 237 00:09:16,166 --> 00:09:18,635 who can be easily seduced by whichever man comes along 238 00:09:18,669 --> 00:09:20,603 and has the most money, 239 00:09:20,637 --> 00:09:22,238 or is the most rich. 240 00:09:22,272 --> 00:09:24,675 I will date who I want to date. 241 00:09:25,976 --> 00:09:27,644 Thank you. 242 00:09:27,678 --> 00:09:29,412 Does anyone else find it odd 243 00:09:29,445 --> 00:09:31,414 that people started getting attacked 244 00:09:31,447 --> 00:09:33,917 and disappearing at the same time Chad showed up? I mean, 245 00:09:33,950 --> 00:09:36,586 if there's a killer amongst us... 246 00:09:36,619 --> 00:09:38,955 I say it's you, Chad. Yeah. (mocking grunts) 247 00:09:40,123 --> 00:09:41,291 (screaming) Hey! 248 00:09:41,324 --> 00:09:43,794 Listen, Chad is a moron. 249 00:09:43,827 --> 00:09:45,628 I mean, he's probably 250 00:09:45,662 --> 00:09:47,597 the dumbest person I ever met. And he's definitely 251 00:09:47,630 --> 00:09:48,932 the worst lay I ever had, 252 00:09:48,965 --> 00:09:50,433 but that being said, 253 00:09:50,466 --> 00:09:51,601 he does have a point. 254 00:09:51,634 --> 00:09:54,437 This hospital must stay open. 255 00:09:54,470 --> 00:09:56,439 The work being done here must continue. 256 00:09:56,472 --> 00:09:58,441 It's very personal to me. 257 00:09:58,474 --> 00:10:01,611 We can allow nothing to deter patients from coming here, 258 00:10:01,644 --> 00:10:04,347 including risking them being scared off 259 00:10:04,380 --> 00:10:06,983 by the possibility-- however remote it may be-- 260 00:10:07,017 --> 00:10:08,819 that we have a chief surgeon 261 00:10:08,852 --> 00:10:11,454 whose hand takes over his body and starts killing people. 262 00:10:11,487 --> 00:10:13,957 You're not gonna fire me, are you? 263 00:10:13,990 --> 00:10:17,360 No. You're a brilliant surgeon, and very easy on the eyes, 264 00:10:17,393 --> 00:10:20,997 but I think we're gonna have to do something about that hand. 265 00:10:21,031 --> 00:10:23,033 Outstanding. I will go get my axe. 266 00:10:23,066 --> 00:10:26,469 No, we're not chopping off his hand in the O.R. 267 00:10:26,502 --> 00:10:28,204 We are gonna look for a new donor. 268 00:10:28,238 --> 00:10:30,640 Preferably someone who hasn't been arrested 269 00:10:30,673 --> 00:10:32,342 for multiple murders. 270 00:10:32,375 --> 00:10:34,144 It is that... 271 00:10:34,177 --> 00:10:37,213 or I'm afraid I'm gonna have to let you go. 272 00:10:38,715 --> 00:10:42,652 Oh! Ooh, yes! Yes! Aah! 273 00:10:42,685 --> 00:10:43,820 Mm! 274 00:10:43,854 --> 00:10:45,221 (moaning) 275 00:10:45,255 --> 00:10:47,323 Aah! 276 00:10:47,357 --> 00:10:48,658 (exhales) 277 00:10:48,691 --> 00:10:50,994 By my count, that was 278 00:10:51,027 --> 00:10:53,663 the fourth orgasm you've had since you've been in here. 279 00:10:53,696 --> 00:10:55,665 And my 27th of the day. 280 00:10:55,698 --> 00:10:57,868 And it's 9:00 a.m. I'm sorry. 281 00:10:57,901 --> 00:10:59,669 I just have to know your secret. 282 00:10:59,702 --> 00:11:01,171 I am in Hell. 283 00:11:01,204 --> 00:11:02,405 That's my secret. 284 00:11:02,438 --> 00:11:03,673 Two months ago 285 00:11:03,706 --> 00:11:06,009 I was in the middle of teaching my yoga class, 286 00:11:06,042 --> 00:11:08,511 and as I was coming out of sirsa padasana, 287 00:11:08,544 --> 00:11:11,882 I had this, like, spontaneous orgasm. 288 00:11:11,915 --> 00:11:13,850 And I thought it was funny at first. 289 00:11:13,884 --> 00:11:16,186 And then I had another one a few minutes later. 290 00:11:16,219 --> 00:11:18,388 And then I had another one in the locker room. 291 00:11:18,421 --> 00:11:21,191 And then another one in the car on the ride ho... oh! Whoa! 292 00:11:21,224 --> 00:11:22,859 Mm! Oh, God! 293 00:11:22,893 --> 00:11:24,194 It won't stop. 294 00:11:24,227 --> 00:11:25,862 It's destroying my life. 295 00:11:25,896 --> 00:11:28,364 My husband left me, because he immediately realized 296 00:11:28,398 --> 00:11:30,433 that all my orgasms with him were fake. 297 00:11:32,135 --> 00:11:34,370 I am begging you. Please make it stop. 298 00:11:34,404 --> 00:11:37,373 I'll do anything. Remove my vagina, I don't care. 299 00:11:37,407 --> 00:11:39,275 Wait, can you actually do that? 300 00:11:39,309 --> 00:11:40,911 How do you remove negative space? 301 00:11:43,579 --> 00:11:45,548 I don't know, but that, that won't be necessary. 302 00:11:45,581 --> 00:11:47,550 Um, you see, you have what's called 303 00:11:47,583 --> 00:11:50,220 "Persistent Genital Arousal Disorder" 304 00:11:50,253 --> 00:11:52,889 or PGAD. 305 00:11:52,923 --> 00:11:55,225 Have you gone through menopause or 306 00:11:55,258 --> 00:11:57,227 had hormonal treatments recently? 307 00:11:57,260 --> 00:11:59,262 They're known to be the cause. 308 00:11:59,295 --> 00:12:00,730 No, nothing like that, um... 309 00:12:00,763 --> 00:12:02,465 I-I don't do drugs or drink 310 00:12:02,498 --> 00:12:04,267 or anything. Okay. 311 00:12:04,300 --> 00:12:06,769 It's very hard to determine what causes the disorder. 312 00:12:06,803 --> 00:12:09,139 But it doesn't really matter in terms of treatment. 313 00:12:09,172 --> 00:12:11,241 Our first step will be to treat you 314 00:12:11,274 --> 00:12:12,976 to a heroic dose of antidepressants. 315 00:12:13,009 --> 00:12:16,646 Like what SeaWorld gives only their most suicidal orcas. 316 00:12:16,679 --> 00:12:18,114 Okay. 317 00:12:18,148 --> 00:12:19,582 All right, well, thank you, Doctor. 318 00:12:19,615 --> 00:12:20,750 I'll do anything. 319 00:12:20,783 --> 00:12:22,452 Oh, so-- Oh, God! 320 00:12:22,485 --> 00:12:25,588 (loud moaning) 321 00:12:25,621 --> 00:12:28,091 CHANEL #3: Who was operating in here anyway? 322 00:12:28,124 --> 00:12:29,993 A Chad Radwell guy 323 00:12:30,026 --> 00:12:32,428 was butchering cadavers for some reason. 324 00:12:32,462 --> 00:12:34,097 He said he was practicing for surgery, 325 00:12:34,130 --> 00:12:36,366 but mainly he was just chopping off hands 326 00:12:36,399 --> 00:12:38,468 and saying the F-word a lot. 327 00:12:40,003 --> 00:12:42,105 Hey, you, um... 328 00:12:42,138 --> 00:12:44,941 you seemed to be bummed out by that consult. 329 00:12:44,975 --> 00:12:47,944 There's something I need to confide in you. 330 00:12:47,978 --> 00:12:50,146 A secret no one knows. 331 00:12:51,147 --> 00:12:52,815 I've never had an orgasm. 332 00:12:52,849 --> 00:12:55,018 Oh, wow. 333 00:12:55,051 --> 00:12:57,820 I didn't even know what they were until recently. 334 00:12:57,854 --> 00:12:59,689 I thought they were just moans you did to let 335 00:12:59,722 --> 00:13:01,191 the other person know to roll off of you, 336 00:13:01,224 --> 00:13:04,294 like an "I'm ready for you to stop" alarm. 337 00:13:04,327 --> 00:13:06,696 That's terrible. 338 00:13:06,729 --> 00:13:08,664 Orgasms are pretty much 339 00:13:08,698 --> 00:13:11,201 the only thing everyone in the world agrees are great. 340 00:13:12,903 --> 00:13:14,304 (chuckles): Well... 341 00:13:14,337 --> 00:13:16,372 until Hamilton came along. 342 00:13:16,406 --> 00:13:19,042 (chuckles) It's so original, right? 343 00:13:19,075 --> 00:13:20,810 Oh, it reinvented theater. 344 00:13:20,843 --> 00:13:24,180 I mean, a rap musical about the founding founders? 345 00:13:24,214 --> 00:13:26,682 Changed the world. 346 00:13:28,218 --> 00:13:31,354 And you know what's really telling about me? 347 00:13:31,387 --> 00:13:32,655 I didn't even like it that much. 348 00:13:32,688 --> 00:13:33,990 This is all part of 349 00:13:34,024 --> 00:13:35,892 a larger problem I have in my life. 350 00:13:35,926 --> 00:13:37,527 I am alive, but... 351 00:13:37,560 --> 00:13:39,896 I'm not living. 352 00:13:39,930 --> 00:13:41,497 If it was possible for me to feel anything, 353 00:13:41,531 --> 00:13:42,999 I would totally be sobbing right now. 354 00:13:43,033 --> 00:13:45,835 I understand. 355 00:13:45,868 --> 00:13:48,538 Better than you know, actually. 356 00:13:48,571 --> 00:13:50,673 I have a secret of my own, as well. 357 00:13:50,706 --> 00:13:53,176 Something I never share with anyone. 358 00:13:53,209 --> 00:13:57,280 But since you opened up for me, I want to do the same for you. 359 00:13:58,781 --> 00:14:01,417 I'm dead. 360 00:14:01,451 --> 00:14:03,253 You mean, like, "in trouble"? 361 00:14:03,286 --> 00:14:04,520 No, like... 362 00:14:04,554 --> 00:14:06,422 dead, like, actually dead. 363 00:14:06,456 --> 00:14:08,191 I don't understand. 364 00:14:08,224 --> 00:14:10,226 (sighs) 365 00:14:10,260 --> 00:14:13,196 It was my junior year in high school. 366 00:14:13,229 --> 00:14:14,430 My lacrosse buddies threw 367 00:14:14,464 --> 00:14:15,698 a rad-as-hell kegger 368 00:14:15,731 --> 00:14:16,933 and I got ham-dogged. 369 00:14:16,967 --> 00:14:18,734 (indistinct chatter) 370 00:14:18,768 --> 00:14:20,770 My buddies warned me not to pass out on my back, 371 00:14:20,803 --> 00:14:24,140 or I would choke on my puke like Jimi Hendrix and die. 372 00:14:25,741 --> 00:14:27,944 The next morning I woke up on my back, 373 00:14:27,978 --> 00:14:29,412 covered in puke, 374 00:14:29,445 --> 00:14:31,781 and I realized I did die. 375 00:14:31,814 --> 00:14:34,084 And now I'm cursed to walk the earth for all eternity. 376 00:14:34,117 --> 00:14:36,452 Like a Highlander. 377 00:14:36,486 --> 00:14:38,754 Hold up, there was sort of a big leap in logic there. 378 00:14:38,788 --> 00:14:42,225 Are you sure you didn't just choke on your puke and die? 379 00:14:42,258 --> 00:14:43,559 Yeah, everything was different. 380 00:14:43,593 --> 00:14:44,894 I started to notice that dogs 381 00:14:44,927 --> 00:14:46,262 didn't bark at me anymore. 382 00:14:46,296 --> 00:14:49,265 Wait, so if you're dead, 383 00:14:49,299 --> 00:14:51,901 how are you breathing? I don't know. 384 00:14:51,934 --> 00:14:53,603 That's what I'm trying to figure out. 385 00:14:53,636 --> 00:14:56,239 That's actually why I decided to become a doctor. 386 00:14:56,272 --> 00:14:58,608 I needed to know if modern medicine had an answer. 387 00:14:58,641 --> 00:15:00,310 So far, it's just 388 00:15:00,343 --> 00:15:01,744 turned up more questions. 389 00:15:01,777 --> 00:15:03,813 I have no clue. Maybe it's 390 00:15:03,846 --> 00:15:05,281 a Night of the Living Dead scenario? 391 00:15:05,315 --> 00:15:07,483 Some sort of zombie sitch or 392 00:15:07,517 --> 00:15:11,287 maybe there's, like, a task that I have to accomplish 393 00:15:11,321 --> 00:15:13,923 before the universe allows me to die a natural death 394 00:15:13,956 --> 00:15:16,426 and my immortal soul is allowed to finally rest. 395 00:15:16,459 --> 00:15:19,595 And after what you just told me, 396 00:15:19,629 --> 00:15:22,465 I'm starting to think maybe that task 397 00:15:22,498 --> 00:15:24,967 is to help you feel alive again. 398 00:15:25,001 --> 00:15:28,304 That's very noble and romantic, but I've seen so much 399 00:15:28,338 --> 00:15:30,806 death and tragedy and had so much loss in my life, 400 00:15:30,840 --> 00:15:32,442 that it's like I'm encased in steel. 401 00:15:32,475 --> 00:15:35,345 Chanel #3, I'm a doctor. 402 00:15:35,378 --> 00:15:37,647 Bringing people back to life is what I do. 403 00:15:37,680 --> 00:15:39,849 I may be dead... 404 00:15:39,882 --> 00:15:41,651 but you are not. 405 00:15:42,885 --> 00:15:44,120 Please give me the chance 406 00:15:44,154 --> 00:15:46,389 to help you see that. 407 00:15:53,829 --> 00:15:55,298 Wow. 408 00:15:55,331 --> 00:15:57,467 Your lips are super cold. 409 00:15:57,500 --> 00:16:00,136 I told you. 410 00:16:00,170 --> 00:16:02,238 I'm dead. 411 00:16:08,178 --> 00:16:11,814 (thunder crashes) CHANEL #5: C, A, 412 00:16:11,847 --> 00:16:15,151 B, I, 413 00:16:15,185 --> 00:16:17,487 T, Y-- "Cabity." 414 00:16:17,520 --> 00:16:19,655 Triple word score. 415 00:16:19,689 --> 00:16:21,224 "Cabity" is not a word. 416 00:16:21,257 --> 00:16:22,892 Yes, it is. 417 00:16:22,925 --> 00:16:25,495 It's what happens when you forget to brush your teeth. 418 00:16:25,528 --> 00:16:26,696 ZAYDAY: All right, fine. 419 00:16:26,729 --> 00:16:28,531 Still beating you by 350 points. 420 00:16:28,564 --> 00:16:31,334 Why are you guys playing Scrabble right now? 421 00:16:31,367 --> 00:16:33,002 I got it off of Chamberlain's cart. 422 00:16:33,035 --> 00:16:34,570 Scrabble helps me think and it's good for the brain. 423 00:16:34,604 --> 00:16:36,239 We have a mystery to solve. 424 00:16:36,272 --> 00:16:38,007 I just don't understand why she said 425 00:16:38,040 --> 00:16:39,509 I need to use Esrun cream. 426 00:16:39,542 --> 00:16:40,910 I mean, my skin is amazing. 427 00:16:40,943 --> 00:16:43,012 I moisturize three times a day 428 00:16:43,045 --> 00:16:45,348 with this really shady stuff I have to order from China, 429 00:16:45,381 --> 00:16:46,682 which I've heard is either 430 00:16:46,716 --> 00:16:48,017 A, panda sperm, 431 00:16:48,050 --> 00:16:50,086 or B, stem cells of political prisoners. 432 00:16:51,587 --> 00:16:53,756 I mean, I don't know. I don't ask questions, 433 00:16:53,789 --> 00:16:55,525 because I'm very pleased with the results! 434 00:16:55,558 --> 00:16:56,759 (thunder crashes) 435 00:17:02,298 --> 00:17:03,899 That's it! 436 00:17:13,075 --> 00:17:15,445 (whistling) 437 00:17:17,247 --> 00:17:18,981 CHAD: Oh, hi there. 438 00:17:20,082 --> 00:17:21,417 What are you doing here? 439 00:17:21,451 --> 00:17:23,553 Just airing out my scroat, brah. 440 00:17:23,586 --> 00:17:24,620 What? 441 00:17:24,654 --> 00:17:26,122 Don't worry about it. 442 00:17:26,156 --> 00:17:29,091 I said I'm airing out my scroat. 443 00:17:29,125 --> 00:17:31,461 And I brought you your list of handidates. 444 00:17:31,494 --> 00:17:34,230 My what? Your prospective list of hand donors. 445 00:17:34,264 --> 00:17:35,898 They're all in need of fast cash. 446 00:17:35,931 --> 00:17:38,934 And I'm pretty sure none of them are serial killers. 447 00:17:40,970 --> 00:17:42,738 Janusz Brozowsky, 41, janitor. 448 00:17:42,772 --> 00:17:44,440 He's ambidextrous. 449 00:17:44,474 --> 00:17:47,410 Said he can still rock a mop with just a left hand and a nub. 450 00:17:47,443 --> 00:17:48,744 Fred Barnsdall, 451 00:17:48,778 --> 00:17:51,147 a 66-year-old accordion player. Great guy. 452 00:17:51,181 --> 00:17:53,649 There's Danny Rodriguez, assistant manager at Subway. 453 00:17:53,683 --> 00:17:55,418 He said the job's so boring he's just 454 00:17:55,451 --> 00:17:57,820 thinking about cutting his hand off anyway. 455 00:17:57,853 --> 00:17:59,255 Get out. 456 00:17:59,289 --> 00:18:00,756 (clears his throat) 457 00:18:00,790 --> 00:18:02,425 Also, I'm gonna be performing the surgery. 458 00:18:02,458 --> 00:18:04,594 No. (chuckles) 459 00:18:04,627 --> 00:18:07,096 There's no way you're performing the surgery. 460 00:18:07,129 --> 00:18:08,498 There's yes way I'm performing the surgery, 461 00:18:08,531 --> 00:18:11,267 because A, Dean Munsch loves me, 462 00:18:11,301 --> 00:18:13,169 B, this is a teaching hospital, 463 00:18:13,203 --> 00:18:15,771 C, I've been practicing on a lot of cadavers, 464 00:18:15,805 --> 00:18:17,473 and D, did you notice that 465 00:18:17,507 --> 00:18:19,309 our wangers are about the same size? 466 00:18:24,480 --> 00:18:27,183 (groans) Now, remind me again why we're here. 467 00:18:27,217 --> 00:18:29,118 "Esrun" backwards is "nurse." 468 00:18:29,151 --> 00:18:31,020 When I Googled it, this came up. 469 00:18:31,053 --> 00:18:33,155 An article in Central Florida Realtor Monthly 470 00:18:33,189 --> 00:18:34,990 from about five years ago. You know, we could've gone 471 00:18:35,024 --> 00:18:37,026 over all of this if you had just flown with us on the plane. 472 00:18:37,059 --> 00:18:39,128 Yes, well, I don't fly commercial, just private. 473 00:18:39,161 --> 00:18:42,031 All right, "The house that Esrun built. 474 00:18:42,064 --> 00:18:44,467 "How nurse Lynn Johnstone turned 475 00:18:44,500 --> 00:18:46,302 "homemade hand cream into the crown jewel 476 00:18:46,336 --> 00:18:47,670 of Florida real estate," hmm. 477 00:18:47,703 --> 00:18:49,138 So, there's a big 478 00:18:49,171 --> 00:18:50,973 mansion in the middle of the Everglades. 479 00:18:51,006 --> 00:18:52,642 I still don't get what this has to do with the Green Meanie. 480 00:18:52,675 --> 00:18:54,477 None of us do, you idiot. 481 00:18:54,510 --> 00:18:56,512 But, obviously, Hester wants us to find out. 482 00:18:56,546 --> 00:18:58,514 This is some good sleuthing, 483 00:18:58,548 --> 00:18:59,515 Zayday Williams. 484 00:18:59,549 --> 00:19:00,816 (scoffs) Too good. 485 00:19:00,850 --> 00:19:01,984 Could you just stop? 486 00:19:02,017 --> 00:19:03,553 It's obvious I'm not the killer. 487 00:19:03,586 --> 00:19:04,720 (knocking) 488 00:19:07,590 --> 00:19:08,824 Hello. 489 00:19:08,858 --> 00:19:10,192 We're looking for a Lynn Johnstone. 490 00:19:10,226 --> 00:19:12,161 Is she here? 491 00:19:12,194 --> 00:19:15,030 Excuse me, I'm Lynn Johnstone. 492 00:19:15,064 --> 00:19:16,666 Mm? You know, 493 00:19:16,699 --> 00:19:18,334 eight percent of nurses are male 494 00:19:18,368 --> 00:19:20,035 and Lynn is a noble Celtic name. 495 00:19:20,069 --> 00:19:22,004 It means "pool or "lake." 496 00:19:22,037 --> 00:19:23,172 All right, Pretty in Pink. 497 00:19:23,205 --> 00:19:24,674 Don't get your panties in a bunch. 498 00:19:24,707 --> 00:19:26,376 You mind if we come inside? 499 00:19:26,409 --> 00:19:28,344 It's as hot as fish grease out here. 500 00:19:28,378 --> 00:19:29,845 And Special Agent Hemphill 501 00:19:29,879 --> 00:19:31,714 is getting a little damp in the crack. 502 00:19:33,549 --> 00:19:34,917 Come on in. 503 00:19:34,950 --> 00:19:36,919 Welcome to the House of Esrun. 504 00:19:36,952 --> 00:19:38,087 Watch your step. 505 00:19:38,120 --> 00:19:40,690 There's moisturizer everywhere. 506 00:19:40,723 --> 00:19:43,693 This is my in-home studio where I film all 507 00:19:43,726 --> 00:19:45,761 the Esrun cream infomercials. 508 00:19:45,795 --> 00:19:48,564 We are in 150 different countries 509 00:19:48,598 --> 00:19:51,867 and last year we grossed over $350 million. 510 00:19:51,901 --> 00:19:54,570 Yes, well, that's all very interesting, 511 00:19:54,604 --> 00:19:57,940 but we're here about Our Lady of Perpetual Suffering Hospital. 512 00:19:57,973 --> 00:19:59,542 DENISE: Your name 513 00:19:59,575 --> 00:20:01,243 came up as a possible link 514 00:20:01,277 --> 00:20:04,046 to some recent incidents that transpired. 515 00:20:04,079 --> 00:20:05,881 I used to work there. 516 00:20:05,915 --> 00:20:07,783 I was there the night it happened. 517 00:20:07,817 --> 00:20:09,552 The night what happened? 518 00:20:09,585 --> 00:20:12,788 An entire floor of patients and staff were euthanized. 519 00:20:12,822 --> 00:20:15,257 Say what now?! I was in the bathroom. 520 00:20:15,291 --> 00:20:17,226 Because I had to make a big ol' number two. 521 00:20:17,259 --> 00:20:21,096 (Echo and the Bunnymen's "The Killing Moon" playing) 522 00:20:21,130 --> 00:20:23,466 I was in that bathroom for a while. 523 00:20:23,499 --> 00:20:25,768 See, I had just started taking psyllium husks. 524 00:20:25,801 --> 00:20:27,903 And those things scrub you like a brush. 525 00:20:27,937 --> 00:20:30,272 So I was doing some... (sing-songy): vocalizations 526 00:20:30,306 --> 00:20:32,608 to sort of work through the discomfort. 527 00:20:32,642 --> 00:20:36,245 (groaning vocalizations) 528 00:20:36,278 --> 00:20:38,448 And that explains why I didn't hear anything. 529 00:20:38,481 --> 00:20:40,416 * Fate 530 00:20:40,450 --> 00:20:44,253 * Up against your will 531 00:20:44,286 --> 00:20:48,257 * Through the thick and thin 532 00:20:48,290 --> 00:20:49,992 * You give yourself to him... 533 00:20:50,025 --> 00:20:51,861 (screaming) 534 00:20:53,696 --> 00:20:55,331 I talked to one reporter, 535 00:20:55,365 --> 00:20:57,433 but the hospital board paid me five million dollars 536 00:20:57,467 --> 00:21:01,671 in hush money and made me sign a nondisclosure agreement. 537 00:21:01,704 --> 00:21:03,939 I put all of that money into Esrun creams! 538 00:21:03,973 --> 00:21:06,141 Which is actually just Jergens. 539 00:21:06,175 --> 00:21:07,777 I put it in different bottles and put 540 00:21:07,810 --> 00:21:10,446 a sticker on it that says, "approved by nurses" 541 00:21:10,480 --> 00:21:12,114 and charge three, four times the price. 542 00:21:12,147 --> 00:21:14,484 So, wait, you never got a glimpse of the murderer? 543 00:21:14,517 --> 00:21:15,785 I didn't have to. 544 00:21:15,818 --> 00:21:17,152 I know who did it. 545 00:21:18,220 --> 00:21:20,189 In October of 1986, 546 00:21:20,222 --> 00:21:22,124 I'd only been at the hospital for a few months, 547 00:21:22,157 --> 00:21:24,126 but I became best friends with Nurse Thomas, 548 00:21:24,159 --> 00:21:25,861 who'd been there for years. 549 00:21:25,895 --> 00:21:28,531 And one night before she and everyone else were killed, 550 00:21:28,564 --> 00:21:31,033 she was freaking out because Halloween was coming up, 551 00:21:31,066 --> 00:21:33,002 and it reminded her of the year before. 552 00:21:33,035 --> 00:21:35,638 When a pregnant lady and her husband came into the ER, 553 00:21:35,671 --> 00:21:37,840 and the doctors let her husband die 554 00:21:37,873 --> 00:21:39,975 and threw his body in the swamp. 555 00:21:40,009 --> 00:21:41,511 And a few weeks later, Nurse Thomas, 556 00:21:41,544 --> 00:21:43,045 along with everyone else, was dead. 557 00:21:43,078 --> 00:21:44,880 I knew there had to be 558 00:21:44,914 --> 00:21:47,817 a connection between that Halloween and the year before. 559 00:21:47,850 --> 00:21:49,719 But I tried my best to just forget about it. 560 00:21:49,752 --> 00:21:51,721 But then a few weeks ago... 561 00:21:51,754 --> 00:21:53,989 the phone calls started. 562 00:21:54,023 --> 00:21:55,491 (rings) 563 00:21:55,525 --> 00:21:58,494 Esrun, approved by nurses, Lynn speaking. 564 00:21:58,528 --> 00:22:00,162 (deep distorted voice): I will come from the swamp, 565 00:22:00,195 --> 00:22:02,064 where you threw all of the bodies. 566 00:22:02,097 --> 00:22:03,065 What? 567 00:22:03,098 --> 00:22:04,333 Who is this? 568 00:22:04,366 --> 00:22:06,669 You have blood on your hands. 569 00:22:06,702 --> 00:22:08,671 I am a proud male nurse. 570 00:22:08,704 --> 00:22:10,172 This is harassment! 571 00:22:10,205 --> 00:22:14,410 I'm going to kill again. (laughing) 572 00:22:14,444 --> 00:22:16,679 They were trying to hide it, 573 00:22:16,712 --> 00:22:18,914 but I knew that it was a woman's voice. 574 00:22:18,948 --> 00:22:20,916 My first thought was, "Oh, my God, 575 00:22:20,950 --> 00:22:22,084 it's that pregnant woman." 576 00:22:22,117 --> 00:22:25,087 Or the baby of the pregnant woman. 577 00:22:25,120 --> 00:22:26,856 That occurred to me, too. 578 00:22:26,889 --> 00:22:28,357 CHANEL #5: Or maybe the swamp 579 00:22:28,390 --> 00:22:29,892 is filled with feminizing chemical agents 580 00:22:29,925 --> 00:22:31,360 and they thought that it was the guy that they drowned, 581 00:22:31,393 --> 00:22:33,028 but he came back as an androgynous swamp monster 582 00:22:33,062 --> 00:22:34,564 bent on revenge. 583 00:22:34,597 --> 00:22:36,198 MUNSCH: Yeah, I think that's less likely. 584 00:22:36,231 --> 00:22:37,567 Thank you very much, Nurse. 585 00:22:37,600 --> 00:22:39,134 We'll be in touch. Ladies! 586 00:22:40,302 --> 00:22:42,237 We need these for evidence. 587 00:22:50,946 --> 00:22:54,049 MUNSCH: Well, I don't know why you girls are so exhausted. 588 00:22:54,083 --> 00:22:55,451 My flight was divine. 589 00:22:55,485 --> 00:22:57,720 We had to fly Southwest. 590 00:22:57,753 --> 00:22:59,889 We had a three-hour layover in Islip. 591 00:22:59,922 --> 00:23:00,890 MUNSCH: Yes. 592 00:23:00,923 --> 00:23:02,725 But the trip proved helpful, 593 00:23:02,758 --> 00:23:04,393 because we now have a definitive link 594 00:23:04,426 --> 00:23:06,796 between the murders in 1986 595 00:23:06,829 --> 00:23:08,464 and what's been happening at the hospital. 596 00:23:08,498 --> 00:23:10,900 But it's not making no sense to me. 597 00:23:10,933 --> 00:23:14,236 If the killer wanted to avenge the death of the patient 598 00:23:14,269 --> 00:23:16,405 that those nurses and doctors threw into the swamp, 599 00:23:16,438 --> 00:23:20,075 why he start killing now? Hmm? 600 00:23:20,109 --> 00:23:21,811 He already got his revenge. 601 00:23:21,844 --> 00:23:24,146 Those nurses and doctors already dead. 602 00:23:24,179 --> 00:23:25,247 That's right. 603 00:23:25,280 --> 00:23:27,082 That Wolfgirl, Randal, Tyler, 604 00:23:27,116 --> 00:23:28,250 they were all patients. 605 00:23:28,283 --> 00:23:29,752 Why would the killer want to go after them? 606 00:23:29,785 --> 00:23:31,086 Well, it makes perfect 607 00:23:31,120 --> 00:23:32,254 sense to me. 608 00:23:32,287 --> 00:23:34,824 The killer wants revenge on my hospital. 609 00:23:34,857 --> 00:23:35,925 And the best way to do that 610 00:23:35,958 --> 00:23:37,593 is start killing patients. 611 00:23:37,627 --> 00:23:38,628 Now, we already know 612 00:23:38,661 --> 00:23:40,262 who the killer is. 613 00:23:40,295 --> 00:23:42,665 It's someone at this hospital. 614 00:23:42,698 --> 00:23:44,333 Someone who's over six feet tall, 615 00:23:44,366 --> 00:23:45,968 which means he's probably male, 616 00:23:46,001 --> 00:23:47,469 which rules out that mother. 617 00:23:47,503 --> 00:23:49,271 But the baby she was pregnant with, 618 00:23:49,304 --> 00:23:51,674 that little boy, was born in 1986. 619 00:23:51,707 --> 00:23:53,943 That makes him... 620 00:23:53,976 --> 00:23:55,144 around 30. 621 00:23:55,177 --> 00:23:57,446 So, it could be Cassidy. 622 00:23:57,479 --> 00:23:58,981 Or Chad Radwell. 623 00:23:59,014 --> 00:24:00,482 Chad's our age! 624 00:24:00,516 --> 00:24:01,951 Nuh-uh. 625 00:24:01,984 --> 00:24:04,286 Chad told me when he was in the second grade, 626 00:24:04,319 --> 00:24:07,356 he got held back for eight consecutive years. 627 00:24:07,389 --> 00:24:09,291 His ass is 30. 628 00:24:09,324 --> 00:24:11,360 Or... it could be Chamberlain. 629 00:24:11,393 --> 00:24:13,295 Chamberlain? 630 00:24:13,328 --> 00:24:14,664 I mean, I guess it could be. 631 00:24:14,697 --> 00:24:16,298 I just never would have suspected. 632 00:24:16,331 --> 00:24:18,233 I have to go! 633 00:24:20,335 --> 00:24:22,137 CHAD: Hmm. Janusz. 634 00:24:22,171 --> 00:24:23,472 I need you to put your hand on the cutting board 635 00:24:23,505 --> 00:24:24,840 so I can saw your hand off. 636 00:24:26,876 --> 00:24:29,812 It's a good looking hand. 637 00:24:29,845 --> 00:24:32,648 It's gonna sting a little bit. 638 00:24:32,682 --> 00:24:35,818 This is not how you perform a surgery. 639 00:24:35,851 --> 00:24:38,153 You might want to se... 640 00:24:38,187 --> 00:24:40,990 You might want to sedate the patient first. 641 00:24:41,023 --> 00:24:43,025 Look, I know this is a teaching hospital, 642 00:24:43,058 --> 00:24:45,060 and I have no problem with Dean Munsch 643 00:24:45,094 --> 00:24:46,495 letting you saw the handidate's hand off. 644 00:24:46,528 --> 00:24:48,397 In fact, I'm such a good surgeon, 645 00:24:48,430 --> 00:24:49,565 no matter how bad you botch this up, 646 00:24:49,599 --> 00:24:51,033 I'll be able to fix it with one hand. 647 00:24:51,066 --> 00:24:52,067 Okay. 648 00:24:52,101 --> 00:24:53,402 You want to know what no one likes? 649 00:24:53,435 --> 00:24:55,871 A back seat hand surgeon. 650 00:24:55,905 --> 00:24:57,573 And because you interrupted my doctor flow, 651 00:24:57,607 --> 00:24:59,541 I'm not gonna sedate either one of you. 652 00:25:03,545 --> 00:25:04,847 (whirring) 653 00:25:04,880 --> 00:25:06,015 Stop the procedure! 654 00:25:06,048 --> 00:25:07,617 We don't have to do the transplant. 655 00:25:07,650 --> 00:25:08,951 I know you're not the killer. 656 00:25:08,984 --> 00:25:10,720 Somebody's killing a bunch of folks in this hospital, 657 00:25:10,753 --> 00:25:12,221 he's got the hand of a serial killer. 658 00:25:12,254 --> 00:25:13,388 No, no. No. 659 00:25:13,422 --> 00:25:14,924 The killer is around age 30. 660 00:25:14,957 --> 00:25:16,759 Dr. Holt is much older. 661 00:25:16,792 --> 00:25:19,394 But you're not. 662 00:25:19,428 --> 00:25:21,597 You are now my prime suspect. 663 00:25:21,631 --> 00:25:24,466 Thank you, Dean Munsch. 664 00:25:24,499 --> 00:25:26,568 Now I can get back to doing what I love: 665 00:25:26,602 --> 00:25:28,070 saving lives. 666 00:25:28,103 --> 00:25:31,440 And winning the hearts of nubile young medical students. 667 00:25:31,473 --> 00:25:32,474 (door opens) 668 00:25:34,977 --> 00:25:37,112 Oh, you think this is the end of the movie. 669 00:25:37,146 --> 00:25:38,580 It's not. 670 00:25:38,614 --> 00:25:39,815 This is the first part. 671 00:25:39,849 --> 00:25:41,316 Where the bad guy beats the good guy 672 00:25:41,350 --> 00:25:43,085 and then the good guy trains in a montage, 673 00:25:43,118 --> 00:25:45,254 comes back, beats the bad guy, 674 00:25:45,287 --> 00:25:46,922 freeze-frame into a kiss with the girl, 675 00:25:46,956 --> 00:25:49,358 as my old and ethnic mentor looks on! 676 00:25:51,293 --> 00:25:52,762 Listen, Howdy Doody, 677 00:25:52,795 --> 00:25:54,129 you're younger than I am, 678 00:25:54,163 --> 00:25:55,330 you're richer than I am, but let me 679 00:25:55,364 --> 00:25:56,766 guarantee you one thing. 680 00:25:56,799 --> 00:25:58,934 The next body I touch with these hands, 681 00:25:58,968 --> 00:26:01,336 which I'm keeping, will be Chanel's. 682 00:26:01,370 --> 00:26:02,938 And I'm gonna get in my car 683 00:26:02,972 --> 00:26:04,774 and I'm gonna drive to Tiffany's. 684 00:26:04,807 --> 00:26:06,341 I'm gonna hand the clerk my wallet 685 00:26:06,375 --> 00:26:07,609 and buy an engagement ring. 686 00:26:07,643 --> 00:26:09,945 I'm gonna slip it on her finger 687 00:26:09,979 --> 00:26:11,681 and marry her. 688 00:26:16,551 --> 00:26:18,120 I'm Chad Radwell. 689 00:26:18,153 --> 00:26:19,454 And I always win. 690 00:26:19,488 --> 00:26:21,290 No matter what. 691 00:26:21,323 --> 00:26:23,959 I don't think you know who I am. 692 00:26:23,993 --> 00:26:25,961 Or what I'm capable of, Chad. 693 00:26:25,995 --> 00:26:28,397 The things I've done, the things I'm willing to do. 694 00:26:29,832 --> 00:26:31,667 If you're smart, 695 00:26:31,701 --> 00:26:32,668 you will get in your car 696 00:26:32,702 --> 00:26:34,837 and you will not come back. 697 00:26:40,409 --> 00:26:41,977 CASSIDY: I don't understand. 698 00:26:42,011 --> 00:26:44,479 There's no history of this kind of psychosis 699 00:26:44,513 --> 00:26:45,848 in her life or family. 700 00:26:45,881 --> 00:26:47,182 No, no! 701 00:26:47,216 --> 00:26:48,984 I got all type of-- oh! 702 00:26:49,018 --> 00:26:50,352 Wait, I know what this is. 703 00:26:50,385 --> 00:26:51,653 This is what Chanel #5 is like 704 00:26:51,687 --> 00:26:52,654 when she takes an overdose 705 00:26:52,688 --> 00:26:54,156 on her anti-depressants. 706 00:26:54,189 --> 00:26:55,991 One time, she got in a huge fight 707 00:26:56,025 --> 00:26:57,526 with our couch, and we took her to the doctor, 708 00:26:57,559 --> 00:26:59,161 and he said it was something called 709 00:26:59,194 --> 00:27:01,831 Emotional Lability. 710 00:27:01,864 --> 00:27:02,832 Maybe because Mrs. Baumgartner 711 00:27:02,865 --> 00:27:04,166 doesn't need the anti-depressants, 712 00:27:04,199 --> 00:27:05,167 they're screwing with her brain chemistry 713 00:27:05,200 --> 00:27:06,368 and making her act all nutty. 714 00:27:06,401 --> 00:27:07,536 Oh, God! 715 00:27:07,569 --> 00:27:08,570 Help me, please! 716 00:27:08,603 --> 00:27:11,373 CHAMBERLAIN: No! (yelling) 717 00:27:12,407 --> 00:27:14,076 Why do I have to do the poses? 718 00:27:14,109 --> 00:27:16,511 Can't you do them and let me play the doctor part? 719 00:27:16,545 --> 00:27:18,247 Well, I'm not playing doctor. 720 00:27:18,280 --> 00:27:19,849 I... am a doctor. 721 00:27:19,882 --> 00:27:23,052 Which means I'm the one who has a rigorously tested knowledge 722 00:27:23,085 --> 00:27:24,353 of anatomy. So, 723 00:27:24,386 --> 00:27:25,855 I have to be the one to examine you, 724 00:27:25,888 --> 00:27:27,689 while you get into the same position 725 00:27:27,723 --> 00:27:29,524 Sheila was in when her condition started. 726 00:27:29,558 --> 00:27:30,860 Can I just say, for the record, 727 00:27:30,893 --> 00:27:32,027 before we begin, that yoga is 728 00:27:32,061 --> 00:27:33,428 just stretching for douche bags. 729 00:27:33,462 --> 00:27:34,629 Noted. 730 00:27:35,564 --> 00:27:38,033 Okay, so Sheila said 731 00:27:38,067 --> 00:27:40,235 when she first started being symptomatic, 732 00:27:40,269 --> 00:27:43,038 she was in a pose called "Sirsa Padasana." 733 00:27:43,072 --> 00:27:44,206 I can't do that. 734 00:27:44,239 --> 00:27:46,208 It's okay. Don't worry. 735 00:27:46,241 --> 00:27:47,609 I'll help you. 736 00:27:47,642 --> 00:27:50,379 (breathing shallowly) 737 00:27:50,412 --> 00:27:51,914 Okay, perfect. 738 00:27:51,947 --> 00:27:53,515 Great, now are you feeling 739 00:27:53,548 --> 00:27:55,550 pressure anywhere in particular? 740 00:27:55,584 --> 00:27:57,586 There's an overall feeling 741 00:27:57,619 --> 00:27:59,454 like I'm gonna snap in half, but if I really focus, 742 00:27:59,488 --> 00:28:01,290 I can feel some strain in my lower back, 743 00:28:01,323 --> 00:28:03,392 kind of running through my pelvis. 744 00:28:03,425 --> 00:28:05,227 And my butt entrance feels tingly, but... 745 00:28:05,260 --> 00:28:06,495 that's not unusual. 746 00:28:07,496 --> 00:28:08,831 CASSIDY: Um... 747 00:28:11,300 --> 00:28:12,334 (whispering indistinctly) 748 00:28:13,769 --> 00:28:14,736 Chanel #3, 749 00:28:14,770 --> 00:28:16,405 I'm gonna twist your hips 750 00:28:16,438 --> 00:28:17,773 just slightly, okay? 751 00:28:20,943 --> 00:28:22,344 (cracking) (yelps) 752 00:28:23,946 --> 00:28:25,080 What was that? 753 00:28:25,114 --> 00:28:26,281 It felt like you touched my hooha. 754 00:28:26,315 --> 00:28:28,417 Wh-What happened is, um, 755 00:28:28,450 --> 00:28:31,086 your sacrospinous ligament runs 756 00:28:31,120 --> 00:28:32,754 from the outer edge of your sacrum, 757 00:28:32,788 --> 00:28:34,423 to the spine of your ischium. 758 00:28:34,456 --> 00:28:37,092 And your pudendal nerves run right beneath that. 759 00:28:37,126 --> 00:28:38,760 So, if there's any irritation to it, 760 00:28:38,794 --> 00:28:40,796 it would cause inflammation, 761 00:28:40,830 --> 00:28:43,432 which would press against the pudendal nerve, 762 00:28:43,465 --> 00:28:45,767 and cause it to fire uncontrollably. 763 00:28:45,801 --> 00:28:48,103 So, Sheila Baumgartner hurt her thing 764 00:28:48,137 --> 00:28:49,638 while doing yoga and that irritated 765 00:28:49,671 --> 00:28:51,106 her other thing, and... 766 00:28:51,140 --> 00:28:52,341 that thing is what's making her 767 00:28:52,374 --> 00:28:53,608 pop off all the time? 768 00:28:53,642 --> 00:28:56,511 Yeah. Exactly. 769 00:28:58,047 --> 00:28:59,949 So all I need to do is... 770 00:28:59,982 --> 00:29:01,516 block off her pudendal nerve 771 00:29:01,550 --> 00:29:03,785 with a simple surgery 772 00:29:03,819 --> 00:29:05,054 and she's cured. 773 00:29:12,561 --> 00:29:13,996 Chad! 774 00:29:14,029 --> 00:29:15,530 Chanel! Chad! 775 00:29:15,564 --> 00:29:17,266 What is going on? 776 00:29:17,299 --> 00:29:18,467 What do you mean? 777 00:29:18,500 --> 00:29:19,468 Why does something have to be going on? 778 00:29:19,501 --> 00:29:20,502 Can't I just ask you to, 779 00:29:20,535 --> 00:29:21,803 you know, meet me in the park 780 00:29:21,837 --> 00:29:23,338 and walk and talk some things over? 781 00:29:23,372 --> 00:29:25,374 No, Chad. You can't, because it's super weird 782 00:29:25,407 --> 00:29:27,042 and it seems like you want to murder me. 783 00:29:27,076 --> 00:29:28,377 I mean, I actually brought 784 00:29:28,410 --> 00:29:29,711 a stun gun! 785 00:29:29,744 --> 00:29:31,146 When was the last time you wanted to, 786 00:29:31,180 --> 00:29:32,814 A, go for a walk with me, 787 00:29:32,848 --> 00:29:35,417 or B, have an actual conversation? 788 00:29:36,518 --> 00:29:37,819 Let's walk and talk. 789 00:29:40,522 --> 00:29:42,992 Look, I've been doing some soul searching. 790 00:29:43,025 --> 00:29:44,526 I don't know why. 791 00:29:44,559 --> 00:29:46,695 Maybe because another one of my friends is missing 792 00:29:46,728 --> 00:29:48,163 and presumably murdered. 793 00:29:48,197 --> 00:29:49,731 (exhales) Or because 794 00:29:49,764 --> 00:29:51,666 there's a hot surgeon with a murdering hand 795 00:29:51,700 --> 00:29:53,402 obviously trying to get in that box! 796 00:29:54,703 --> 00:29:56,705 Anyway... 797 00:29:56,738 --> 00:29:59,508 I've been thinking. 798 00:29:59,541 --> 00:30:01,676 About you. 799 00:30:01,710 --> 00:30:03,745 (chuckles) And me. 800 00:30:03,778 --> 00:30:05,247 Us. 801 00:30:05,280 --> 00:30:07,849 Okay. 802 00:30:07,883 --> 00:30:09,584 (sighs) 803 00:30:09,618 --> 00:30:12,221 (mariachi music playing) 804 00:30:14,556 --> 00:30:16,691 (singer vocalizing) Chanel, 805 00:30:16,725 --> 00:30:18,360 I'm in love with you. 806 00:30:18,393 --> 00:30:20,562 What? 807 00:30:20,595 --> 00:30:23,532 (gasps) Wha... 808 00:30:23,565 --> 00:30:25,367 Even when I told all those other chicks I was banging 809 00:30:25,400 --> 00:30:27,269 how awesome it was that they didn't have wangs, 810 00:30:27,302 --> 00:30:28,537 and I was in love with them, 811 00:30:28,570 --> 00:30:31,373 really, I was in love with you. 812 00:30:31,406 --> 00:30:32,741 Really? 813 00:30:32,774 --> 00:30:36,111 Love, it's a funny thing. Isn't it? 814 00:30:36,145 --> 00:30:37,412 (sighs) 815 00:30:37,446 --> 00:30:38,948 Chanel Oberlin, 816 00:30:38,981 --> 00:30:40,749 will you... Oh, my God! 817 00:30:40,782 --> 00:30:42,217 Pedro? 818 00:30:42,251 --> 00:30:44,386 Oh, my God, is this really happening? 819 00:30:44,419 --> 00:30:46,455 Get your lawyers to look over this prenup. 820 00:30:46,488 --> 00:30:48,057 Are you asking me to marry you?! 821 00:30:48,090 --> 00:30:49,291 Oh, not really. 822 00:30:49,324 --> 00:30:50,559 No, I'll consider asking you to marry me, 823 00:30:50,592 --> 00:30:51,893 um, once you sign the prenup. 824 00:30:51,927 --> 00:30:53,562 Uh, you're gonna want a whole legal team to 825 00:30:53,595 --> 00:30:55,264 kind of look over this. There's a lot of stipulations 826 00:30:55,297 --> 00:30:56,932 and some pretty specific riders. 827 00:30:56,966 --> 00:30:58,100 Chad! 828 00:30:58,133 --> 00:31:00,069 I feel like I'm in a fairy tale! 829 00:31:00,102 --> 00:31:03,072 Yes! Yes! A thousand times yes! 830 00:31:03,105 --> 00:31:07,776 (mariachi music continues) 831 00:31:07,809 --> 00:31:09,078 * Quiero ser el hombre * 832 00:31:09,111 --> 00:31:12,447 * Que controla tu vida entera * 833 00:31:12,481 --> 00:31:14,583 * Quiero ser el hombre * 834 00:31:14,616 --> 00:31:18,287 * que controla tu vida entera * 835 00:31:18,320 --> 00:31:20,022 (music fades) 836 00:31:34,136 --> 00:31:36,205 (faintly): * Quiero ser el hombre * 837 00:31:43,012 --> 00:31:46,681 Once the epidural kicked in, the orgasms stopped. 838 00:31:46,715 --> 00:31:49,451 Can't you just numb me from the waist down forever? 839 00:31:49,484 --> 00:31:50,752 That won't be necessary. 840 00:31:50,785 --> 00:31:53,688 I just relieved compression on your pudendal nerve, 841 00:31:53,722 --> 00:31:55,757 so you should return to normal functioning. 842 00:31:55,790 --> 00:31:58,193 (sighs) What will you do with your newfound freedom? 843 00:31:58,227 --> 00:31:59,428 I am gonna go to the movies, and I'm 844 00:31:59,461 --> 00:32:01,196 not gonna worry about getting kicked out 845 00:32:01,230 --> 00:32:02,531 because I'm too loud. 846 00:32:02,564 --> 00:32:03,832 And then, 847 00:32:03,865 --> 00:32:05,267 I'm gonna teach a yoga class 848 00:32:05,300 --> 00:32:07,269 till the very end. 849 00:32:07,302 --> 00:32:08,703 I am gonna enjoy 850 00:32:08,737 --> 00:32:11,306 all of life's pleasures that have been denied me... 851 00:32:11,340 --> 00:32:12,674 since all this began. 852 00:32:13,742 --> 00:32:15,644 And we... 853 00:32:15,677 --> 00:32:17,012 are finished. 854 00:32:18,747 --> 00:32:21,216 Time to start enjoying life again. 855 00:32:21,250 --> 00:32:23,718 * Early in the morning 856 00:32:23,752 --> 00:32:26,155 * When I'm standing at attention * 857 00:32:26,188 --> 00:32:28,990 * I'm missing your attention 858 00:32:29,024 --> 00:32:30,659 * And the smell of your love 859 00:32:30,692 --> 00:32:31,993 * All over me 860 00:32:32,027 --> 00:32:33,562 * Put it in perspective 861 00:32:33,595 --> 00:32:35,464 * I've given up the quest now 862 00:32:35,497 --> 00:32:37,399 * I can't wait to come home * No * 863 00:32:37,432 --> 00:32:40,235 * Keepin' on the first thing smokin' * 864 00:32:40,269 --> 00:32:41,570 * Baby I ain't drinkin' 865 00:32:41,603 --> 00:32:43,572 * Oh yeah * Out here on my own 866 00:32:43,605 --> 00:32:45,907 * Out here on the road... 867 00:32:45,940 --> 00:32:47,076 You okay? 868 00:32:47,109 --> 00:32:49,311 I think it's the music, baby. 869 00:32:49,344 --> 00:32:50,912 I get distracted by R & B. 870 00:32:50,945 --> 00:32:52,981 You see, it stands for rhythm and blues, 871 00:32:53,014 --> 00:32:54,849 but it's the least bluesy style of music 872 00:32:54,883 --> 00:32:57,252 and its rhythm is hardly what's most remarkable about it. 873 00:32:57,286 --> 00:33:00,822 Yeah, that makes sense. Okay. 874 00:33:00,855 --> 00:33:02,357 (upbeat old school hip-hop plays) 875 00:33:07,129 --> 00:33:09,431 I can't do new jack swing. 876 00:33:09,464 --> 00:33:12,267 See, it reminds me of this film, New Jack City, 877 00:33:12,301 --> 00:33:14,269 and then my mind immediately goes to Wesley Snipes 878 00:33:14,303 --> 00:33:16,938 and all his trouble with the IRS. 879 00:33:16,971 --> 00:33:19,274 (sighs) It's just so sad. 880 00:33:19,308 --> 00:33:20,675 Very sad. 881 00:33:20,709 --> 00:33:21,710 Okay. 882 00:33:21,743 --> 00:33:24,113 (music stops) 883 00:33:24,146 --> 00:33:26,348 Chanel #3, 884 00:33:26,381 --> 00:33:28,683 I'm in love with you. 885 00:33:28,717 --> 00:33:30,185 You'll always be safe with me. 886 00:33:30,219 --> 00:33:31,786 Now, it's time for you 887 00:33:31,820 --> 00:33:34,123 to feel the power... 888 00:33:34,156 --> 00:33:36,291 and the glory... 889 00:33:36,325 --> 00:33:37,826 of the female orgasm. 890 00:33:39,828 --> 00:33:41,563 I'm sorry. 891 00:33:41,596 --> 00:33:43,565 I don't know what's wrong. 892 00:33:43,598 --> 00:33:46,235 Maybe you're just... 893 00:33:46,268 --> 00:33:47,636 not into me. 894 00:33:47,669 --> 00:33:51,473 No... I'm very attracted to you. 895 00:33:51,506 --> 00:33:52,807 It's just that every time we touch, 896 00:33:52,841 --> 00:33:55,577 you're, like, freezing. 897 00:33:55,610 --> 00:33:57,479 It feels like I'm hugging a snowman. 898 00:33:57,512 --> 00:33:59,981 Right, but, we dis... 899 00:34:00,014 --> 00:34:01,983 we discussed this. 900 00:34:02,016 --> 00:34:03,652 I'm dead. I... 901 00:34:03,685 --> 00:34:05,487 Hot blood doesn't run through my veins 902 00:34:05,520 --> 00:34:07,489 like it does yours. 903 00:34:07,522 --> 00:34:09,524 You want proof? 904 00:34:15,029 --> 00:34:17,031 (sighs) 905 00:34:20,034 --> 00:34:21,436 (thermometer beeps) 906 00:34:23,938 --> 00:34:25,407 61 degrees. 907 00:34:25,440 --> 00:34:28,210 Oh, my God. You a dead. 908 00:34:32,881 --> 00:34:35,284 Where is he? Who? 909 00:34:35,317 --> 00:34:36,418 The patient! You had me paged. 910 00:34:36,451 --> 00:34:37,952 They said it was an emergency. 911 00:34:37,986 --> 00:34:40,589 There is. I need to talk to you. 912 00:34:40,622 --> 00:34:42,691 Also, uh, I need help tying this old-fashioned bow tie 913 00:34:42,724 --> 00:34:43,958 for my wedding tomorrow. 914 00:34:43,992 --> 00:34:45,427 I mean, I figured a guy like you, 915 00:34:45,460 --> 00:34:46,628 who was around during the Civil War 916 00:34:46,661 --> 00:34:48,197 would probably know how to do it. 917 00:34:48,230 --> 00:34:50,965 Okay, I have a dilemma. All my best buds are dead. 918 00:34:50,999 --> 00:34:52,634 Okay? My frat bros, then Randal. 919 00:34:52,667 --> 00:34:54,869 I got no one to be my best man. 920 00:34:54,903 --> 00:34:56,305 You don't have brothers? 921 00:34:56,338 --> 00:34:59,040 Yeah, but I figure they're probably busy and 922 00:34:59,073 --> 00:35:00,542 also kind of want to save 'em to be my best man 923 00:35:00,575 --> 00:35:02,043 for the second wedding. 924 00:35:02,076 --> 00:35:04,213 You know, that's the one that usually sticks, you know? 925 00:35:04,246 --> 00:35:07,048 Anyway, I was kind of hoping you'd do it. 926 00:35:07,081 --> 00:35:09,451 I hate you. 927 00:35:09,484 --> 00:35:11,486 But you love Chanel! 928 00:35:11,520 --> 00:35:12,987 Look, the best man's most important job is 929 00:35:13,021 --> 00:35:14,556 to make sure the groom doesn't freak out 930 00:35:14,589 --> 00:35:15,724 and leave his bride at the altar. 931 00:35:15,757 --> 00:35:16,891 You get what I'm saying here? 932 00:35:16,925 --> 00:35:19,228 Mm-hmm. 933 00:35:19,261 --> 00:35:22,063 You have cold feet. 934 00:35:22,096 --> 00:35:23,998 (sighs) Look, you're gonna get this 935 00:35:24,032 --> 00:35:26,468 because, obviously, we're both really handsome. 936 00:35:26,501 --> 00:35:28,237 Girls really want to bone me, okay? 937 00:35:28,270 --> 00:35:29,804 When I die, I've left instructions 938 00:35:29,838 --> 00:35:31,306 to grind me up into a fine powder 939 00:35:31,340 --> 00:35:32,541 to be given out to underprivileged dudes 940 00:35:32,574 --> 00:35:34,075 who have trouble getting laid. 941 00:35:34,108 --> 00:35:36,345 Because I'm convinced if they rub my essence on 'em, 942 00:35:36,378 --> 00:35:38,247 they're pretty much guaranteed to get ass. 943 00:35:38,280 --> 00:35:39,648 Look, I'm not cut out for monogamy, okay? 944 00:35:39,681 --> 00:35:41,182 This is not what I do. 945 00:35:41,216 --> 00:35:43,518 I mean, in a couple days, once I bone a girl 946 00:35:43,552 --> 00:35:45,420 at a stop light, or at an IHOP, 947 00:35:45,454 --> 00:35:47,989 or public park, I'll be cheating on my wife. 948 00:35:48,022 --> 00:35:49,258 I don't know if I want to be that guy. 949 00:35:49,291 --> 00:35:50,492 Then don't get married. 950 00:35:50,525 --> 00:35:52,861 What? It's a little late for that. 951 00:35:52,894 --> 00:35:55,597 Getting left at the altar works in Julia Roberts movies 952 00:35:55,630 --> 00:35:57,366 or on Grey's Anatomy, 953 00:35:57,399 --> 00:35:59,167 but in real life, that ruins you. 954 00:35:59,200 --> 00:36:02,937 I don't want to hurt Chanel. 955 00:36:02,971 --> 00:36:04,539 Isn't that weird? I just want her to be happy. 956 00:36:04,573 --> 00:36:06,441 I want her to have a great wedding day. 957 00:36:06,475 --> 00:36:08,277 I don't want my worries about my future studliness 958 00:36:08,310 --> 00:36:10,845 to get in the way of her special day. 959 00:36:10,879 --> 00:36:12,447 Whatever happens down the road, 960 00:36:12,481 --> 00:36:14,249 I want this day to be for her. 961 00:36:14,283 --> 00:36:16,651 Maybe I almost love her, you know? 962 00:36:29,163 --> 00:36:31,466 You're tying the bow tie a little tight, bro. 963 00:36:31,500 --> 00:36:33,302 It needs to be tight. 964 00:36:33,335 --> 00:36:34,336 Hold on. 965 00:36:43,678 --> 00:36:45,814 Okay... 966 00:36:45,847 --> 00:36:47,015 I'll be your best man. 967 00:36:48,082 --> 00:36:49,818 Hookers to celebrate? 968 00:36:49,851 --> 00:36:51,686 Let's not. 969 00:36:53,522 --> 00:36:54,989 Oh, and you should know, 970 00:36:55,023 --> 00:36:58,226 when you guys break up in six months, 971 00:36:58,259 --> 00:36:59,994 I'm gonna be there to comfort Chanel 972 00:37:00,028 --> 00:37:02,163 by having a lot of sex with her. 973 00:37:02,196 --> 00:37:04,032 I wouldn't have it any other way. 974 00:37:13,274 --> 00:37:15,510 It's a 29-carat internally flawless 975 00:37:15,544 --> 00:37:17,946 fancy-vivid diamond in the extremely rare 976 00:37:17,979 --> 00:37:19,348 "whore cut." 977 00:37:19,381 --> 00:37:21,182 Which is the preferred cut for mistresses 978 00:37:21,215 --> 00:37:22,183 of Russian billionaires. 979 00:37:22,216 --> 00:37:25,354 Wow! That is one huge diamond. 980 00:37:25,387 --> 00:37:26,855 I know, right? It's so heavy, 981 00:37:26,888 --> 00:37:28,790 it comes with its own chiropractor on call, 982 00:37:28,823 --> 00:37:31,960 has a built-in LoJack system, and is its own Wi-Fi hot spot. 983 00:37:31,993 --> 00:37:35,196 Ladies, there's something important I need to ask you. 984 00:37:35,229 --> 00:37:38,032 It may be the most emotional decision 985 00:37:38,066 --> 00:37:39,368 a bride-to-be has to make. 986 00:37:39,401 --> 00:37:40,935 Chanel #3, 987 00:37:40,969 --> 00:37:43,705 would you be one of my bridesmaids? 988 00:37:43,738 --> 00:37:45,206 Of course I would, Chanel. 989 00:37:45,239 --> 00:37:47,108 Zayday, would you also consider 990 00:37:47,141 --> 00:37:48,943 being one of my bridesmaids? 991 00:37:48,977 --> 00:37:50,879 Chanel, I'm so touched. 992 00:37:50,912 --> 00:37:51,946 I would love nothing more. 993 00:37:51,980 --> 00:37:53,382 (giggles) 994 00:37:53,415 --> 00:37:56,385 Chanel #5, would you do me the honor, 995 00:37:56,418 --> 00:37:59,120 of being my ring bearer? 996 00:37:59,153 --> 00:38:01,556 Wait. 997 00:38:01,590 --> 00:38:03,958 Don't I get to be a bridesmaid, too? What? 998 00:38:03,992 --> 00:38:07,228 No! News flash, Number Five, we're not that close! 999 00:38:07,261 --> 00:38:09,130 It's ring bearer or nothing! 1000 00:38:09,163 --> 00:38:11,165 And just FYI, 1001 00:38:11,199 --> 00:38:12,567 you're gonna have to dress up like a dog 1002 00:38:12,601 --> 00:38:14,068 and walk down the aisle on all fours 1003 00:38:14,102 --> 00:38:15,737 with the ring sitting on a cute little pillow 1004 00:38:15,770 --> 00:38:17,572 that is strapped to your back like a tiny saddle. 1005 00:38:17,606 --> 00:38:19,140 Because having a dog be the ring bearer 1006 00:38:19,173 --> 00:38:22,310 is so hot in wedding trends right now. Oh, and also, 1007 00:38:22,343 --> 00:38:23,912 the wedding is tomorrow. What? What? 1008 00:38:23,945 --> 00:38:25,647 Don't you need to, like, plan a wedding? 1009 00:38:25,680 --> 00:38:29,418 Uh, yeah, I did, this afternoon. Chad's super rich. 1010 00:38:29,451 --> 00:38:30,919 I just did a rush order on everything. 1011 00:38:30,952 --> 00:38:32,687 Plus I need to strike while the iron is hot. 1012 00:38:32,721 --> 00:38:35,590 If I wait too long, Chad might change his mind. 1013 00:38:35,624 --> 00:38:37,692 Or forget. 1014 00:38:37,726 --> 00:38:39,961 I'm getting married! 1015 00:38:43,297 --> 00:38:46,768 And this is your official C.U.R.E. discharge balloon. 1016 00:38:46,801 --> 00:38:48,837 This balloon means you've officially been cured. 1017 00:38:48,870 --> 00:38:51,172 Oh, that is so sweet! 1018 00:38:51,205 --> 00:38:53,274 Now, does everybody who gets cured here get one? 1019 00:38:53,307 --> 00:38:54,709 They will. You're the first patient 1020 00:38:54,743 --> 00:38:57,111 that's been able to get cured and survive. 1021 00:38:57,145 --> 00:38:58,613 Excuse me? Nothing. 1022 00:38:58,647 --> 00:39:01,049 Well, I guarantee you this. 1023 00:39:01,082 --> 00:39:03,785 I won't be the last, because I've already called 1024 00:39:03,818 --> 00:39:06,120 the local news, and told them the story 1025 00:39:06,154 --> 00:39:08,457 of my amazing care I received here. 1026 00:39:08,490 --> 00:39:10,725 I plan on putting both of you guys, 1027 00:39:10,759 --> 00:39:12,193 this whole hospital, on the map. 1028 00:39:12,226 --> 00:39:13,628 Hello! (chuckles) 1029 00:39:13,662 --> 00:39:15,329 (metallic scrape) 1030 00:39:30,278 --> 00:39:32,514 (slow scream) 1031 00:39:37,786 --> 00:39:39,454 (screams echoing) 1032 00:39:46,695 --> 00:39:49,330 Aah! All right, Green Meanie-- 1033 00:39:49,363 --> 00:39:51,099 whoever you are-- 1034 00:39:51,132 --> 00:39:52,534 let's go, bitch. 1035 00:39:58,640 --> 00:40:01,075 Zayday! 1036 00:40:01,109 --> 00:40:03,077 Oh, Chamberlain, you're gonna need 1037 00:40:03,111 --> 00:40:04,679 a hell of a lot of stitches. 1038 00:40:04,713 --> 00:40:06,781 It's gonna be okay. 1039 00:40:06,815 --> 00:40:08,517 I don't understand. Why didn't he or she 1040 00:40:08,550 --> 00:40:09,551 come after you? 1041 00:40:26,835 --> 00:40:28,537 Denise, Zayday. 1042 00:40:28,570 --> 00:40:30,271 To what do I owe the pleasure? 1043 00:40:30,304 --> 00:40:31,806 We're here to welcome you to the basement 1044 00:40:31,840 --> 00:40:34,275 of the C.U.R.E. Institute. Your new home. 1045 00:40:34,308 --> 00:40:36,545 I have to say I am just delighted. 1046 00:40:36,578 --> 00:40:39,313 But I have to ask, why the change of heart? 1047 00:40:39,347 --> 00:40:43,652 Well, your Esrun lead turned out to be legit. 1048 00:40:43,685 --> 00:40:47,822 So I pulled a few strings at Quantico 1049 00:40:47,856 --> 00:40:49,891 and had you transferred here, 1050 00:40:49,924 --> 00:40:51,225 on the condition that you cooperate 1051 00:40:51,259 --> 00:40:52,794 with our investigation. 1052 00:40:52,827 --> 00:40:55,163 Another patient in this hospital was murdered. 1053 00:40:55,196 --> 00:40:57,566 The Green Meanie chopped the orgasm lady's head off 1054 00:40:57,599 --> 00:40:58,900 right before my very eyes. 1055 00:40:58,933 --> 00:41:00,802 Mm-hmm. And tried to kill 1056 00:41:00,835 --> 00:41:02,403 that little chunky black orderly. 1057 00:41:02,436 --> 00:41:04,739 But he refused to kill me. 1058 00:41:04,773 --> 00:41:06,374 And I'd like to find out why. 1059 00:41:06,407 --> 00:41:09,310 Probably 'cause y'all working together. 1060 00:41:09,343 --> 00:41:10,511 Would you stop it! 1061 00:41:10,545 --> 00:41:13,481 (laughing) 1062 00:41:13,514 --> 00:41:14,816 What's so funny? 1063 00:41:14,849 --> 00:41:16,150 (laughter continues) 1064 00:41:16,184 --> 00:41:18,920 Stop laughing like that! It's creepy! 1065 00:41:18,953 --> 00:41:21,155 (laughing) 1066 00:41:21,189 --> 00:41:22,490 Damn it, you homely bitch, 1067 00:41:22,523 --> 00:41:23,992 you tell us who the Green Meanie is 1068 00:41:24,025 --> 00:41:25,627 before he kills again. 1069 00:41:27,061 --> 00:41:28,763 It's too late. 1070 00:41:28,797 --> 00:41:30,531 (laughing) 1071 00:41:38,306 --> 00:41:41,976 * 1072 00:41:59,160 --> 00:42:01,129 * It's time * Time * 1073 00:42:01,162 --> 00:42:04,365 * To leave the world behind * Leave the world... * 1074 00:42:04,398 --> 00:42:08,469 * Save it for another time 1075 00:42:08,502 --> 00:42:13,141 * 'Cause I don't remember where I am * 1076 00:42:13,174 --> 00:42:15,644 * When you love me, love me 1077 00:42:15,677 --> 00:42:17,812 * Baby love 1078 00:42:17,846 --> 00:42:19,648 * You are my * 1079 00:42:19,681 --> 00:42:21,983 * Baby love 1080 00:42:22,016 --> 00:42:23,985 * Just call it * 1081 00:42:24,018 --> 00:42:26,154 * Baby love 1082 00:42:26,187 --> 00:42:27,889 * You are my * 1083 00:42:27,922 --> 00:42:30,091 * Baby love. 1084 00:42:30,124 --> 00:42:32,526 (bell tolling) 1085 00:42:39,868 --> 00:42:41,703 (yawns) 1086 00:42:43,705 --> 00:42:46,340 Isn't the groom supposed to walk down the aisle first? 1087 00:42:46,374 --> 00:42:48,943 Chad asked me to come first. 1088 00:42:48,977 --> 00:42:51,279 He said I should get used to it. 1089 00:42:51,312 --> 00:42:53,815 (sputters) 1090 00:42:55,216 --> 00:42:56,685 (sighs) 1091 00:42:56,718 --> 00:42:58,953 (chuckles) 1092 00:43:18,006 --> 00:43:19,407 (screaming) 1093 00:43:31,986 --> 00:43:35,924 * Don't turn around 1094 00:43:39,728 --> 00:43:43,264 * I'll bury you deep 1095 00:43:47,168 --> 00:43:50,772 * Whispers turn to screams 1096 00:43:54,508 --> 00:43:58,112 * You belong to me 1097 00:43:59,948 --> 00:44:01,950 * To me. 1098 00:44:05,019 --> 00:44:07,922 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH