[ Birds chirping ]
How´s it going?
Oh.
Choppy.
I was getting nothing but iffies and pops,
so I cranked up discrimination, dropped her down a cog,
wound her up full chat.
-You? -Yeah.
She was just giving me chatter on the long arm,
so sunk out the threshold
and cheated a couple of ground inches on the back nine.
Anything? Hot rocks and grots.
What have you got?
Ring pull.
´82.
Something fruity.
Could be Quatro.
Could be Lilt.
[ "Detectorists" plays ]
♫ Will you search through the lonely earth for me ♫
♫ Climb through the briar and bramble? ♫
♫ I´ll be your treasure ♫
♫ I´m waiting for you ♫
LANCE: So, what did she say?
ANDY: Found the letter and read it.
Furious.
I mean, like, spitting with rage.
LANCE: Bloody hell. Sounds terrifying.
ANDY: I know. Hell has no fury like...Becky.
I should have told her as soon as I got the job.
I don´t know why I have this compulsion to keep secrets.
LANCE: So, what you gonna do?
ANDY: Oh, I don´t know.
I just don´t think I´m driven enough for her.
You know, I´m not ambitious enough.
No shame in that. Ambition´s overrated.
On TV, all these people reaching for the stars.
Striving to be the best.
Looks exhausting.
I suppose, you know, not being ambitious
doesn´t mean you have to stagnate.
It means you´re not tied down.
You´re free to go where the wind blows you.
Yeah, but how does that fit in with Becky´s way?
Well, fits in perfectly, doesn´t it?
I mean, Becky can be the driving force,
take you and Stan to new places,
and you´ll be there to rein her in
and protect her when necessary.
Christ´s sake, mate.
Where do you get these nuggets of wisdom from?
Very wise man.
Mate, could...
Mate?
[ Slow acoustic guitar music plays ]
It´s Sophie.
-Hello. -Hey.
LANCE: Sophie.
[ Gasps ] Hello, Stanley.
You good?
-Support the head. -Support the head.
Yeah. I know.
Where have you been?
-Metal detecting. -Metal detecting.
Anything?
-Iffies and pops. -Hot rocks and grots.
So I just find out a few things that made me feel even shitter
than I did already.
Turns out Peter is banned
from owning a metal detector in Germany.
No way.
Nighthawking.
Found guilty of two counts of disturbing war graves.
Bastard.
Oh, well, you weren´t to know.
You knew.
I just didn´t listen.
Well, even if there is gold on that plane,
doesn´t do anything for me.
Wrong kind of gold.
You coming to the rally?
Terry´s called a meeting to discuss the finer points.
No, I think I´ll stay away.
Gonna go home for a few days.
Yeah? When you back?
Next weekend.
-See you then? -Yeah.
Good boy.
Good luck with the rally.
Safe.
Hey.
-All right? -Yeah.
Was he good?
Yeah, he had a lovely time.
-Can we talk about this? -I thought we already had.
You shouldn´t have read that letter.
Don´t make me lose my temper.
Not when I´m dressed as a Victorian flower seller.
Okay.
Why are you dressed as a Victorian flower seller?
It´s the school fete tomorrow. I told you.
Dickens themed.
We´re staying at my mum´s tonight.
-ANDY: So when can we talk? -Some other time.
LANCE: Here he is. Terrodactyl.
Sir Lancelot.
Hello, boys.
LANCE: All ready for the rally?
Yeah, all going well, mate. Yeah.
Lost the ice cream van last minute
to Framlingham sausage fest, but otherwise...
And can we expect a few down, do you think?
Yeah, should be a few coming down, yeah.
Yeah, hoping to welcome some members
from the Letchworth Locators.
Steve and Gladys Langley from the Uxbridge Unearthers.
I know, I know.
And quite a few from the Romford Recoverers,
including Bob Cromer´s widow, Ann.
Don´t mention the exhumation.
Yeah. Yeah.
Probably still a bit raw.
However, certain people may try to infiltrate
who will not be welcome.
I didn´t have a picture of those two, so this will have to do.
But if you see any of these three snooping about,
let me know.
I´ll handle it from there.
Mm. Roger that.
Anyway, drinks?
Same again, girls?
I´ll come and help. Extra pair of hands.
-[ Chuckles ] -Oh! [ Laughing ]
Ohh.
So are we gonna meet your daughter at the rally, Lance?
´Fraid not.
Ohh.
Thought that was the idea.
Didn´t you buy her a detector?
I think I might have mucked that up.
Oh, dear.
Showered her with gifts, and now she´s scarpered.
Oh. But wasn´t she the one who found you?
Why would she then just run away?
Probably thought I was a nutter.
Rubbish.
Probably came on a bit strong.
But what you´ve got going for you now
is that she´s met you, Lance.
And you´re lovely.
So she´s bound to come back when she´s ready.
Thanks, Sheila.
I´ll let her decide.
Never realized how often I´d thought about her
over the last 20 years.
I know.
Imagining every day what they might be doing now.
Ha.
What they would look like.
-Yeah. -Mm.
Exactly.
I know. Ha.
Hmm.
Hello, uh, Kate?
Yeah, it´s me again. It´s Lance.
Just thought I´d leave you a message.
Um, ignore the other eight.
Especially the last one.
You haven´t listened to it yet, don´t bother.
It´s not very good.
Wasn´t thinking straight.
I was sort of saying that I-I didn´t mind
if you didn´t want to see me again.
But I do mind.
Now that I´ve met you, I don´t want to lose you.
I-I want to be a part of your life,
even if it´s just a tiny part.
But you don´t have to call me dad.
You can call me whatever you like.
And we don´t have to go ice-skating
or anything together.
Won´t ask about your boyfriends.
Just don´t disappear.
I don´t think I could stand it.
Anyway, um, give us a call.
Let me know everything´s all right.
Yeah. Okay.
Bye.
So, what we´ve got here, ladies and gentlemen,
is the wreckage of a Second World War
German Junkers Ju 88
that we have managed to save from nighthawks.
Now, as you can see,
we´ve already started to take off the top layer
so we can see what´s left of the plane.
And Russell and Hugh are gonna be working solely on this.
Now, the rest of you are free to wander wherever you like
within the fields clearly marked on your maps.
Well, it just remains for me to say, have a great day!
Get your coils to the soil,
enjoy your metal detecting,
and by the end of the day
may you all have danced the gold dance.
Right, come on in.
Well, it looks like we´re gonna have a nice day for it.
Be nice to see everyone out detecting together.
See if their techniques have changed.
How´s your swing coming along, Hugh?
Um, all right, I think.
Mm. Well, let´s see it, then.
Yeah, very nice.
You want to hunch over a bit more, though, you know?
Stoop over.
Your back´s too straight.
Yeah, that´s better.
Well, I´ll see you at lunch.
[ Mid-tempo folk music plays ]
Where are you gonna put it all?
Hoping a museum eventually.
If I can find the right venue and funding.
The museum of sharp, twisted metal?
Aviation archaeology museum.
Right.
I´ll just put it my garage for now.
Your mum and dad won´t mind?
I don´t live with my mum and dad.
Why not?
Because I´m 32.
-You´re what? -32.
-Years of age? -Yeah.
So why have I been buying you pints of Coke all this time?
´Cause you never ask me if I want anything different.
I mean, why haven´t you been getting a round in
every once in a while if you´re thirty-bloody-two?
Have you got a syndrome?
What sort of syndrome?
I don´t know. One that makes you look young.
No.
Just look young.
32.
I feel like I´ve been groomed.
Sold any, Sheila?
Not yet, Lance.
How many have we got left?
127.
All our members have already bought one.
Thought they might buy a spare or a present for someone.
-SHEILA: Mm. -Hang on.
Russell isn´t wearing one.
Hugh!
Tell Russell to get up here, put his hand in his pocket,
and buy a new fleece, would you?
He´s right there.
Who´s that, then?
-Terry. -Yeah?
Terry.
Looks like we got a visitor.
TERRY: Right.
You want back up?
Leave this to me.
Oi! You.
You´re not welcome at this rally,
you´re not welcome on this site,
and you´re not welcome in this hobby.
This is my site. I led you here.
You wouldn´t even know about it if it wasn´t for me.
This is not your site.
You gave up all claim on it
when you came down here the other night to rob it!
-I wasn´t here the other night. -Well, that´s a lie.
Like just about everything else you said since you turned up.
The DMDC prides itself on its conduct.
-We don´t need people like you. -What are people like me?
Liars.
Nighthawks. Scum of the earth.
Oh, we know all about you. And what you´ve done.
We´re all looking for gold, Terry.
The only difference is how far you´re willing to go to find it.
Oh, there are more differences than that, believe me.
I don´t do this to get rich.
-Really? -Really.
Then why are you digging this site?
There´s no gold in this plane!
Why would there be?
Whoever convinced you that there was made a fool of you.
You´re the ones that did the digging.
Saved me from the hard work.
Thanks.
Time to move on.
You won´t get far.
-Mate. -What?
Hello.
So...
This is it.
You all get together in the middle of a field
to look for bits of metal,
and the one who finds the best bit of metal is the winner?
Sort of, yeah.
It´s not usually like this.
Detectorists are usually solitary animals.
It´s only at certain times of the year
they gather together in vast herds.
It´s one of the wonders of the natural world.
I´m sorry I ran away.
I´m sorry I scared you away.
It wasn´t you.
-It was just... -I know.
So, what are you gonna do?
I am gonna fix things with Mum.
-Yeah. -But I´ll come back.
And I´ll open a present each time I do.
Might take a long time.
We´ve got a long time.
Just, for God´s sake, don´t buy any more.
There is one present you should open now.
What is that?
-Football. -[ Laughs ]
Da-da!
Hope it´s the right size.
Yeah. Thank you.
I love it.
-Only had it one color. -Yeah?
Yeah.
-Thanks. -Mate.
This is Kate. It´s my daughter.
-Hi, Kate. -KATE: Hello.
-I´ve heard a lot about you. -Yeah?
Yeah, horrible things.
Don´t listen to him. He´s an idiot.
Have you found anything?
Uh, just "canslaw."
What´s canslaw?
It´s like coleslaw but made out of drinking cans.
You´re kidding me.
No, there´s a whole vocabulary for you to learn.
Brand-new world.
Be all right on your own?
On my own?
Well, I was just gonna go off and show Kate
how to use her detector.
Oh, yeah, see what you mean. Yeah, of course. Yeah.
I´ve got to go pick up Stan, so if I leave now I can get a lift.
Oh, you´re not staying for the prizes at the end of the day?
Nah. I´ll see you later.
Nice to meet you, Kate.
And you.
So...
How´s this work, then, Dad?
LANCE: Well, once you get it unwrapped,
you´ll find there´s a couple of dials at the top.
[ Slow acoustic guitar music plays ]
[ Speaking indistinctly ]
Keep it low. You´re doing well.
-One-nil up. -Yes!
Off metal detecting?
-Just been. -Oh.
Find anything?
-Are you interested? -Not really.
Right, well, thanks for everything.
What are you going to do?
About this Africa thing.
I don´t know.
What do you want?
I just want to protect my family.
So protect them.
I don´t know how to protect them in Africa.
You´ll figure it out.
There are more ways of protecting them
than wrapping them in cotton wool.
It´s up to you.
I don´t think she´ll go without you, though.
Like she´s threatening.
-No? -Nah.
She loves you. Don´t ask me why.
I´ve always thought you were a sad sack,
but Becky´s seen something in you,
and she´s far cleverer than me.
For a start, she knows you´re a good dad.
She never had a good dad.
She can´t look after Stanley on her own.
If you´re not prepared to follow her on her whims and adventures,
then you´re just gonna have to tame her.
-I don´t want to tame her. -Good.
´Cause I wouldn´t fancy your chances.
Becky, I´m outside the school. Can you come out?
-BECKY: Why can´t you come in? -I don´t want to come in.
I´m dressed in modern-day clothes.
Everyone will look at me.
BECKY: I´ve been thinking about Africa.
I´ve decided. We don´t have to go.
-I´ve made up my mind. -Yes, and I think you´re right.
-No, Becky, I want to go. -No.
I want to go. I was wrong.
If we don´t do it now, then we´re never gonna do it.
-It was a stupid idea. -We have to do it.
No, I don´t want to go.
It´s a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.
-Stan´s too young. -No. No.
-It´ll tear us apart. -It´ll bring us closer together.
-You were right. -I was wrong.
Honestly, Becky, we need to do this.
Let´s go and have an adventure. You, me, and Stan.
Really?
Oh, God. Now I don´t know.
No, we have to do it.
I´ve got no idea what to expect, but I want to give it a try.
-Okay. -Yeah?
Yeah!
There´s just one problem.
I was supposed to have accepted the job by yesterday.
Ohh. Oh, it´s all right.
You accepted the job on my behalf.
-Just in case. -Unbelievable.
[ Laughs ] What happened?
-I spoke to your mum. -What did she say?
Oh, God, I don´t want to know. What did she say?
She said you love me.
You love me too.
Come on.
They´re playing catch the greasy pig
in the field.
-Playing what? -Catch the greasy pig.
-What´s that? -It´s a Victorian thing.
You smear a pig in Vaseline,
and then you run around trying to catch it.
-You serious? -Yeah! It´s hilarious.
Mr. Boxall just fell flat on his ass.
[ Laughs ]
ANDY: Isn´t that a bit cruel?
BECKY: No. He was laughing.
ANDY: I meant for the pig.
[ Birds chirping ]
[ Police radio chatter ]
[ Bell chiming ]
LANCE: So you´re all sorted?
Visas and stuff? Jabs?
ANDY: All done. Ready to go.
I´ve done nothing. Becky´s done it all.
You do surprise me.
So I´ve decided I´m gonna do it.
It´s time.
-Put my money where my mouth is. -Yeah?
Yep. It´s time.
How do you go about that, then?
Well, first off, you submit an online application.
Pretty extensive questions.
You want to get that right. Increase your chances.
Exactly. Spend some time on that.
-And you´re gonna do it? -Yep.
-Imagine. -I know.
You on "Mastermind."
Yeah.
ANDY: Do you think your feet
will reach the ground in that chair?
LANCE: Won´t matter. Only focus on the face.
ANDY: And what would your chosen specialized subject be?
Well, you have to pick three. One for each round.
It´s pretty tough.
I´m thinking British birds, not including seagulls.
No seagulls?
Nah. Not interested in seagulls.
Can you do that?
Don´t know.
Can´t do the life and career of Linda Lusardi.
No, that´s a bit creepy.
Why would it be creepy?
Well, wouldn´t it come across a bit sinister
knowing every detail about one woman´s life?
Well, a bloke did Virginia Woolf last week.
It´s hardly the same.
Who will you talk bollocks at while I´m in Africa?
Just keep talking bollocks.
Half the time I´m not even bothered if you´re listening.
That´s good. Half the time I´m not.
Here she is.
Anything?
Nah.
So they caught him. Did you hear?
Yeah. Good.
So you´re actually going, then?
Yeah, looks like it.
I´m jealous.
You´ll be doing the same sort of thing in a couple of years.
-Will you e-mail? -Doubt it.
All right.
I´ll see you in a year, then. You can tell me all about it.
Okay.
Right here. In exactly a year.
Deal.
-Pub? -Go on, then.
[ Horse neighing ]
[ Hoofbeats ]
Did you hear that?
SOPHIE: Hear what?
Horses.
ANDY: No.
I thought I heard horses.
You coming?
Yeah.
Wait a minute.
[ Metal detector beeping ]
ANDY: What you got?
56. Bit iffy.
It´s just junk, mate. Leave it.
Wait a sec.
[ Grunts ]
I´ve got a feeling.
You´ve always got a feeling.
When in doubt, dig it out.
Mate, it´s probably just another ring pull.
[ Beeping ]
What if it´s not just another ring pull?
[ Beeping ]
[ Taps ]
[ "Detectorists" plays ]
[ Laughs ]
Ahhhhhh!
[ Screaming ]
[ "Detectorists" continues playing ]