1
00:00:10,010 --> 00:00:12,350
♪ La, la, la, la, la, la♪

2
00:00:16,182 --> 00:00:19,522
♪ Whatever happened to predictability♪

3
00:00:19,602 --> 00:00:23,482
♪ The milkman, the paper boy
The evening TV♪

4
00:00:25,942 --> 00:00:29,362
♪ Everywhere you look, everywhere you go♪

5
00:00:29,446 --> 00:00:33,276
♪ There's a heart, there's a heart
A hand to hold onto♪

6
00:00:33,616 --> 00:00:38,576
♪ Everywhere you look, everywhere you go
There's a face, there's a face♪

7
00:00:38,663 --> 00:00:41,123
- ♪ Somebody who needs you
-♪ There's a heart♪

8
00:00:41,207 --> 00:00:44,167
♪ Everywhere you look, yeah♪

9
00:00:44,252 --> 00:00:48,212
♪ When you're lost out there
And you're all alone♪

10
00:00:48,298 --> 00:00:53,598
♪ A light is waiting to carry you home♪

11
00:00:53,678 --> 00:00:55,348
♪ Everywhere you look♪

12
00:00:55,430 --> 00:00:57,270
♪ La, la, la, la, la, la♪

13
00:01:03,480 --> 00:01:06,650
Hey, did you get one of these invitations
saying meet in the kitchen?

14
00:01:07,442 --> 00:01:09,152
Yeah. I wonder what it means.

15
00:01:09,235 --> 00:01:10,355
I know.

16
00:01:10,528 --> 00:01:11,528
Who sent it?

17
00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:13,572
And how do they know we have a kitchen?

18
00:01:16,451 --> 00:01:17,871
-Hey.
-Oh, sorry, Steph.

19
00:01:17,952 --> 00:01:19,582
The kitchen is invite-only.

20
00:01:21,748 --> 00:01:22,578
Yeah, I got one, too.

21
00:01:23,208 --> 00:01:25,248
Oh, good. That means there will be booze.

22
00:01:28,505 --> 00:01:31,085
Hear ye, hear ye!

23
00:01:31,549 --> 00:01:32,629
We can hear ye.

24
00:01:34,636 --> 00:01:36,386
You guys know how you're getting married?

25
00:01:36,846 --> 00:01:39,596
It's literally all we've talked about
for the last six months.

26
00:01:40,934 --> 00:01:42,734
Well,
we're gonna do a lot more of it today.

27
00:01:42,811 --> 00:01:45,861
Because the four of us are here
to present to you

28
00:01:45,939 --> 00:01:49,899
a very Fuller-Tanner-Gibbler
wedding shower extravaganza!

29
00:01:53,071 --> 00:01:55,821
Tonight, you and your fiancés
will be competing on...

30
00:01:55,907 --> 00:01:58,537
The Nearlywed Game!

31
00:02:02,122 --> 00:02:04,672
It's actually a spoof of something called
The Newlywed Game...

32
00:02:05,166 --> 00:02:06,376
which I've also never heard of.

33
00:02:07,794 --> 00:02:09,844
Yay! Steve and I played this game

34
00:02:09,921 --> 00:02:12,671
with Uncle Jesse and Aunt Becky
and Grandpa Danny about twen--

35
00:02:12,757 --> 00:02:14,177
a couple of years ago.

36
00:02:15,468 --> 00:02:17,548
Yeah, and if I remember correctly,
you guys got killed.

37
00:02:18,805 --> 00:02:20,885
Yeah, well, we're not going to this time.

38
00:02:21,516 --> 00:02:25,396
No offense, but neither of you know
each other better than Steve and I do now.

39
00:02:27,939 --> 00:02:29,649
Oh, yeah, that's right. I threw it down.

40
00:02:32,110 --> 00:02:34,610
Are you kidding me?
I know everything Jimmy thinks.

41
00:02:36,698 --> 00:02:39,448
That's mostly because Jimmy thinks about
so very little.

42
00:02:41,703 --> 00:02:44,253
I say that as his loving sister
who thinks about even less.

43
00:02:45,874 --> 00:02:48,174
Speaking of less, let's talk prizes.

44
00:02:48,626 --> 00:02:50,036
I want it. I gotta have it.

45
00:02:51,838 --> 00:02:52,668
What is it?

46
00:02:55,091 --> 00:02:58,261
The winner will get to pick the first song
you will all dance to at your wedding.

47
00:03:00,889 --> 00:03:03,139
"Everything I Do, I Do It For You."

48
00:03:05,185 --> 00:03:06,015
"Purple Rain."

49
00:03:08,188 --> 00:03:09,108
"Rump Shaker."

50
00:03:12,066 --> 00:03:14,026
♪ 'Cause all I want to do is
Zoom-zoom-zoom ♪

51
00:03:14,110 --> 00:03:14,990
♪ And a-poom-poom♪

52
00:03:17,655 --> 00:03:20,405
Well,
I'm glad you're all excited for tonight

53
00:03:20,491 --> 00:03:23,161
because we're even
livestreaming the show.

54
00:03:25,038 --> 00:03:26,208
Why would you do that?

55
00:03:26,956 --> 00:03:27,786
We're under 30.

56
00:03:27,874 --> 00:03:30,544
What's the point of doing anything
unless it's for public consumption?

57
00:03:32,587 --> 00:03:35,047
Your generation is obsessed
with social media.

58
00:03:35,131 --> 00:03:36,801
I should tweet that.

59
00:03:38,676 --> 00:03:41,466
#KidsTheseDays,  #YOLO.

60
00:03:47,852 --> 00:03:50,902
This is so exciting.
The last time we played this game, we lost

61
00:03:50,980 --> 00:03:53,940
because we barely knew
anything about each other. But now,

62
00:03:54,025 --> 00:03:55,735
it's almost unfair how much we know.

63
00:03:55,818 --> 00:03:56,818
Should we call it off?

64
00:03:57,403 --> 00:03:58,743
I said almost unfair.

65
00:04:00,490 --> 00:04:02,370
Here, now try on your shirt.

66
00:04:03,409 --> 00:04:05,159
A Team Steejay T-shirt?

67
00:04:05,328 --> 00:04:07,408
Hon, you had these made
just for tonight's competition?

68
00:04:08,081 --> 00:04:10,331
Well, it's not like I have
a duffel bag with them

69
00:04:10,416 --> 00:04:12,126
in assorted colors, fonts, and sizes,

70
00:04:12,210 --> 00:04:14,840
just waiting for a competition
to break out. That'd be crazy.

71
00:04:17,340 --> 00:04:20,390
But if you do want another font,
color, or size, just let me know.

72
00:04:25,098 --> 00:04:28,938
Fernando, ever since I was a little girl,
I dreamed of our third wedding.

73
00:04:31,062 --> 00:04:35,322
A beautiful white gown, a handsome groom,
and me on the dance floor,

74
00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:36,320
shaking my rump.

75
00:04:38,486 --> 00:04:40,526
I, too, want your rump to be shaking.

76
00:04:43,032 --> 00:04:45,372
But DJ and Steve will be tough to beat.

77
00:04:45,910 --> 00:04:46,830
I know.

78
00:04:47,954 --> 00:04:49,374
But maybe today's our day.

79
00:04:49,956 --> 00:04:51,536
We've already been married and divorced.

80
00:04:51,624 --> 00:04:53,794
There are things you can only learn
about a person

81
00:04:53,876 --> 00:04:55,586
through hundreds of hours of litigation.

82
00:04:58,006 --> 00:04:58,836
And don't forget,

83
00:04:59,632 --> 00:05:01,512
court-mandated therapy.

84
00:05:03,720 --> 00:05:05,930
I love it when you talk arbitration.

85
00:05:08,891 --> 00:05:09,931
This is it, Jimmy.

86
00:05:10,018 --> 00:05:12,148
It's my chance
to finally beat DJ at something.

87
00:05:12,228 --> 00:05:15,148
Well, didn't you beat her at the...
No, you lost that.

88
00:05:15,898 --> 00:05:18,568
Well, what about...
No, you lost that one, too.

89
00:05:20,236 --> 00:05:21,776
There was that one time that...

90
00:05:22,238 --> 00:05:24,568
No, she totally creamed you at that one.

91
00:05:26,075 --> 00:05:28,115
Thanks for the pep talk,
Friday Night Lights.

92
00:05:29,329 --> 00:05:31,409
You're welcome, Friday Night Lights.

93
00:05:33,416 --> 00:05:36,706
Oh, I thought that was our new pet name,
like Schmoopy or Tom.

94
00:05:38,504 --> 00:05:40,384
No, no, think about it, Jimmy.

95
00:05:41,007 --> 00:05:42,587
This game was made for us.

96
00:05:42,759 --> 00:05:44,929
Do you remember that game night
when we first met?

97
00:05:45,011 --> 00:05:47,181
We had that
whole mind meld thing going on,

98
00:05:47,263 --> 00:05:49,683
and we are gonna crush
DJ and Steve tonight.

99
00:05:49,766 --> 00:05:52,596
Yeah, we are gonna have so much fun, Tom.

100
00:05:54,562 --> 00:05:55,942
I didn't say anything about fun.

101
00:05:56,647 --> 00:05:58,607
No, this is an all-out war.

102
00:05:59,067 --> 00:06:02,857
Decades of sibling rivalry played out
against the backdrop of a phony game show.

103
00:06:04,864 --> 00:06:08,164
-I didn't know this was that important.
-This is everything.

104
00:06:10,870 --> 00:06:12,870
This doesn't seem like you.

105
00:06:12,955 --> 00:06:15,165
Tonight, I am not me.

106
00:06:15,750 --> 00:06:16,960
Me always loses.

107
00:06:17,335 --> 00:06:19,295
Tonight, I am DJ,

108
00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:22,259
hyper-competitive
bordering on psychopathic.

109
00:06:26,803 --> 00:06:29,223
Oh, this is gonna be so much fun.

110
00:06:37,730 --> 00:06:38,560
Whoa.

111
00:06:40,525 --> 00:06:42,355
How can we afford all this?

112
00:06:45,113 --> 00:06:47,993
When we talked about shower gifts
and I suggested an ice cream cake,

113
00:06:48,074 --> 00:06:49,744
you guys said it was way too expensive.

114
00:06:51,828 --> 00:06:53,828
Our corporate sponsors
are paying for it all.

115
00:06:55,289 --> 00:06:56,829
Corporate sponsors?

116
00:06:57,125 --> 00:06:58,705
We have to do a couple of ads.

117
00:06:58,835 --> 00:07:01,995
I think it'll be weird interrupting
a TV show with commercials.

118
00:07:04,340 --> 00:07:06,380
All right,
I'll be in front of the lattice.

119
00:07:07,427 --> 00:07:09,507
Ramona is our announcer,

120
00:07:09,595 --> 00:07:11,505
and Jackson,
you'll be running the cameras.

121
00:07:12,056 --> 00:07:13,016
Cameras?

122
00:07:13,433 --> 00:07:14,523
Just hold the iPad.

123
00:07:15,351 --> 00:07:16,311
Okay.

124
00:07:16,394 --> 00:07:17,564
Places, everybody!

125
00:07:20,690 --> 00:07:23,440
All right, we're live in three, two...

126
00:07:26,946 --> 00:07:29,116
Live from the Fuller house
in San Francisco, California,

127
00:07:29,198 --> 00:07:30,778
the nearlywed capital of the world,

128
00:07:30,867 --> 00:07:32,367
it's The Nearlywed Game.

129
00:07:35,288 --> 00:07:37,668
Here's the host of The Nearlywed Game,
Max Fuller.

130
00:07:43,129 --> 00:07:47,219
Tonight, we will discover how well
these three couples know each other.

131
00:07:47,675 --> 00:07:49,385
Let's meet them, shall we?

132
00:07:51,512 --> 00:07:53,642
Couple number one are a pair
of medical lovebirds.

133
00:07:53,723 --> 00:07:57,393
Let's welcome doggy doctor DJ Fuller
and foot physician Steve Hale.

134
00:07:59,353 --> 00:08:00,693
Go, Team Steejay!

135
00:08:00,771 --> 00:08:02,021
-Whoo!
-Whoo!

136
00:08:02,523 --> 00:08:03,403
Oh!

137
00:08:06,277 --> 00:08:08,237
Oh, my lattice!

138
00:08:09,906 --> 00:08:11,116
Where's my sofa?

139
00:08:11,240 --> 00:08:12,830
Oh, it doesn't matter. It looks great.

140
00:08:16,412 --> 00:08:18,122
Couple two hails from downstairs.

141
00:08:18,247 --> 00:08:21,077
One is a rocker
and the other has rock-solid abs.

142
00:08:21,167 --> 00:08:23,537
Welcome Stephanie Tanner
and Jimmy Gibbler.

143
00:08:27,173 --> 00:08:30,013
All right, remember, Jimmy, stay focused,
but have fun.

144
00:08:30,092 --> 00:08:31,842
But crush their souls.
But in a fun way.

145
00:08:31,928 --> 00:08:32,798
Right.

146
00:08:33,304 --> 00:08:36,354
-Focus, Jimmy, crush, fun. Got it.
-Yeah.

147
00:08:40,728 --> 00:08:41,688
On to couple three.

148
00:08:41,771 --> 00:08:43,651
He was a world-famous race car driver

149
00:08:43,731 --> 00:08:45,941
and she's the world's most prominent
next-door neighbor.

150
00:08:46,025 --> 00:08:47,025
Please welcome

151
00:08:47,109 --> 00:08:49,859
Fernando Hernandez-Guerrero-
Fernandez-Guerrero and Kimmy Gibbler.

152
00:08:55,701 --> 00:08:58,121
I was born for a live studio audience.

153
00:09:00,831 --> 00:09:05,001
All right, gentlemen, please step out
of the room and into our soundproof booth.

154
00:09:05,086 --> 00:09:05,956
Where's that?

155
00:09:06,504 --> 00:09:08,344
Just stand by the washer
and hit light spin.

156
00:09:10,299 --> 00:09:11,339
I want to press the button.

157
00:09:11,425 --> 00:09:12,335
Me, me, me!

158
00:09:14,262 --> 00:09:16,762
Ladies, I will ask you
a series of questions.

159
00:09:17,181 --> 00:09:19,601
You will write down your answer,
and we'll see if you match.

160
00:09:20,226 --> 00:09:21,596
Question number one:

161
00:09:22,603 --> 00:09:24,563
Who was your first celebrity crush?

162
00:09:25,189 --> 00:09:26,399
Joey McIntyre.

163
00:09:28,609 --> 00:09:29,609
Joey McIntyre.

164
00:09:31,571 --> 00:09:32,531
Joey McIntyre.

165
00:09:34,740 --> 00:09:36,490
Way to be original, sister wives.

166
00:09:39,287 --> 00:09:43,367
Contestant number one, who was
your fiancée's first celebrity crush?

167
00:09:43,457 --> 00:09:44,827
Joey McIntyre.

168
00:09:45,251 --> 00:09:46,791
Joey McIntyre!

169
00:09:48,170 --> 00:09:49,880
You are so good, honey.

170
00:09:51,340 --> 00:09:53,550
Contestant number two, Jimmy Gibbler.

171
00:09:54,051 --> 00:09:55,551
Uh, Charles in Charge.

172
00:10:01,976 --> 00:10:03,636
Charles in Charge isn't even a person.

173
00:10:03,728 --> 00:10:04,558
Uh...

174
00:10:05,688 --> 00:10:08,068
Growing Pains, toast, the St. Louis Arch.

175
00:10:09,275 --> 00:10:12,105
We can only accept
one terrible answer per person.

176
00:10:14,655 --> 00:10:16,405
Contestant number three, Fernando.

177
00:10:17,158 --> 00:10:18,948
Her first celebrity crush:

178
00:10:19,035 --> 00:10:19,865
Fernando.

179
00:10:24,165 --> 00:10:27,495
Who is this Joey McIntyre?
I will kill him!

180
00:10:29,920 --> 00:10:32,010
Quickly moving on to the next question.

181
00:10:33,257 --> 00:10:36,887
Fiancé number one, when was the moment
that you realized you were in love?

182
00:10:37,345 --> 00:10:39,255
When we were nervously doing homework.

183
00:10:39,722 --> 00:10:40,932
Nervous homework!

184
00:10:43,059 --> 00:10:45,809
You go, Steve Hale. My man knows stuff.

185
00:10:48,856 --> 00:10:51,566
Fiancé number two,
moment you found love.

186
00:10:56,697 --> 00:10:58,657
Fiancé number two, we're waiting.

187
00:10:59,325 --> 00:11:00,445
Uh...

188
00:11:00,576 --> 00:11:02,036
Anxiety!

189
00:11:04,372 --> 00:11:07,172
Jimmy says anxiety. Stephanie, you said...

190
00:11:08,459 --> 00:11:10,169
When you brought me the box of kittens.

191
00:11:10,252 --> 00:11:11,302
Oh.

192
00:11:12,004 --> 00:11:13,674
Right, I was so close.

193
00:11:17,635 --> 00:11:18,755
Not even a little bit.

194
00:11:19,887 --> 00:11:22,517
Oh, uh, right. Uh, form of a question.

195
00:11:22,973 --> 00:11:24,603
What is a box of kittens?

196
00:11:25,601 --> 00:11:28,561
Thank you, Alex,
I'll take Potent Potables for 400, please.

197
00:11:30,231 --> 00:11:31,321
Moving on.

198
00:11:32,358 --> 00:11:33,648
Fiancé number three?

199
00:11:34,610 --> 00:11:35,740
Joey McIntyre,

200
00:11:35,820 --> 00:11:40,450
if you're watching, I will not rest
until you pay for your insolence!

201
00:11:44,704 --> 00:11:47,584
Kimmy, is the moment that you fell in love
with Fernando

202
00:11:47,665 --> 00:11:49,245
the time he threatened Joey McIntyre?

203
00:11:51,043 --> 00:11:51,883
No.

204
00:11:52,420 --> 00:11:54,170
Happy hour at Applebee's.

205
00:11:54,672 --> 00:11:56,172
Who is this Applebee?

206
00:11:56,257 --> 00:11:57,797
I will kill him, too!

207
00:12:01,011 --> 00:12:01,931
Um...

208
00:12:03,180 --> 00:12:08,190
While Fernando threatens a chain
of mid-sized family restaurants,

209
00:12:08,644 --> 00:12:10,484
let's have a word from our sponsors.

210
00:12:14,275 --> 00:12:18,395
"Say, friend, where can I find a partition
that has the privacy of a wall,

211
00:12:18,487 --> 00:12:20,737
but has more pizzazz than a fence?"

212
00:12:22,283 --> 00:12:23,743
"Funny you would ask, friend.

213
00:12:25,619 --> 00:12:27,249
I know just the place.

214
00:12:27,329 --> 00:12:31,879
Get yourself down to Lattice World
for all your lattice needs."

215
00:12:33,294 --> 00:12:35,504
Not to be confused with Lattice Emporium
or Lettuce World.

216
00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:37,720
♪ You'll love that Lattice… ♪

217
00:12:37,798 --> 00:12:38,628
♪ World♪

218
00:12:49,685 --> 00:12:51,555
Ooh, Steph, I'm so sorry.

219
00:12:51,645 --> 00:12:52,975
I hate letting you down.

220
00:12:53,063 --> 00:12:55,233
You're just overthinking your answers.

221
00:12:55,316 --> 00:12:58,646
I've never been accused of overthinking
anything in my entire life.

222
00:12:59,987 --> 00:13:02,567
-Okay. You need to calm down, all right?
-Okay.

223
00:13:02,656 --> 00:13:04,116
Just, here, hold my hand.

224
00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:06,450
Just take some breaths, all right?
Count with me.

225
00:13:06,827 --> 00:13:12,667
Five, four, three, two...

226
00:13:13,375 --> 00:13:14,335
You relaxed?

227
00:13:14,877 --> 00:13:16,747
Are you gonna say one?
I need you to say one.

228
00:13:16,837 --> 00:13:18,127
What happened to one?

229
00:13:18,631 --> 00:13:19,591
Okay, okay.

230
00:13:19,673 --> 00:13:22,383
Just... One. There, better?

231
00:13:22,468 --> 00:13:25,598
-Yeah. Thanks, Steph.
-Okay, yeah. Good.

232
00:13:25,679 --> 00:13:27,139
Glad you're better.

233
00:13:28,098 --> 00:13:30,518
Sorry I've been so intense. It's just...

234
00:13:30,684 --> 00:13:33,694
it's really hard living in the shadow of
someone who's so good at everything.

235
00:13:34,230 --> 00:13:36,020
But I'll stop stressing you out.

236
00:13:36,607 --> 00:13:37,857
Okay? Mmm.

237
00:13:39,151 --> 00:13:43,201
Now, remember, just say the first thing
that pops into your head.

238
00:13:43,280 --> 00:13:44,200
Grass.

239
00:13:45,991 --> 00:13:47,701
Yeah,
I meant when Max asks you a question.

240
00:13:48,536 --> 00:13:49,536
Oh-ho-ho.

241
00:13:49,620 --> 00:13:51,000
You're so good at this.

242
00:13:53,958 --> 00:13:56,288
The kids really came up with a great gift,
huh, honey?

243
00:13:56,377 --> 00:13:58,877
I don't know, Deej.
Maybe we're going a little overboard.

244
00:13:58,963 --> 00:14:01,053
Nobody seems to be enjoying this
as much as us.

245
00:14:01,882 --> 00:14:03,342
It's called winning, honey.

246
00:14:06,971 --> 00:14:09,431
It's why nobody likes Tom Brady
or Meryl Streep.

247
00:14:10,266 --> 00:14:11,346
Wait, everybody...

248
00:14:12,268 --> 00:14:13,268
I mean nobody does.

249
00:14:16,522 --> 00:14:18,232
Look at them over there. So smug.

250
00:14:18,315 --> 00:14:21,185
So confident.
Acting like they're the perfect couple.

251
00:14:22,528 --> 00:14:23,948
I wish that was us.

252
00:14:26,031 --> 00:14:27,581
We're never gonna win this.

253
00:14:28,909 --> 00:14:29,909
It occurs to me...

254
00:14:31,245 --> 00:14:34,995
we don't need to have the correct answer.
We just need to have the same answer.

255
00:14:37,126 --> 00:14:41,546
Why don't we give ourselves a leg up
and start each answer with the letter D?

256
00:14:44,300 --> 00:14:45,380
Isn't that cheating?

257
00:14:45,801 --> 00:14:46,721
That's not cheating.

258
00:14:47,428 --> 00:14:51,178
That's like when I used to slash the tires
of my opponents before each race.

259
00:14:53,309 --> 00:14:54,639
It would be nice to win.

260
00:14:55,144 --> 00:14:56,604
I'm tired of coming in third.

261
00:14:57,187 --> 00:14:58,607
DJ's always first,

262
00:14:58,731 --> 00:15:00,321
Stephanie's the dark horse,

263
00:15:01,150 --> 00:15:04,030
and I'm the friendly billy goat
clapping on the sidelines.

264
00:15:05,779 --> 00:15:08,029
Kimberlina, you are no William goat.

265
00:15:10,701 --> 00:15:14,621
You are a shining star so bright
that people think you are an airplane.

266
00:15:16,874 --> 00:15:18,674
Let's go out there and destroy.

267
00:15:18,751 --> 00:15:20,791
-Demolish.
-Dehydrate.

268
00:15:23,464 --> 00:15:24,304
What will that do?

269
00:15:24,381 --> 00:15:26,221
I don't know but it starts with a D.

270
00:15:30,763 --> 00:15:32,103
Steven, a word.

271
00:15:32,181 --> 00:15:33,101
Sure, what's up?

272
00:15:33,515 --> 00:15:36,885
What's up is I no longer want Kimberlina
to feel like William goat.

273
00:15:38,979 --> 00:15:42,149
She deserves to be treated
like an airplane.

274
00:15:44,652 --> 00:15:46,112
Well, great. Good talk.

275
00:15:49,073 --> 00:15:51,283
I need you to tank the competition.

276
00:15:51,367 --> 00:15:52,407
What?

277
00:15:52,826 --> 00:15:54,616
Give Kimberlina a chance.

278
00:15:55,829 --> 00:15:58,789
I can't do that.
You know how much DJ loves to win

279
00:15:58,916 --> 00:16:01,496
and how much I hate to be around her
when she loses.

280
00:16:02,336 --> 00:16:05,086
I mean, in theory.
I've never actually seen it.

281
00:16:06,090 --> 00:16:07,090
Exactly.

282
00:16:07,174 --> 00:16:10,224
You and DJ won the last competition.
You will win the next competition.

283
00:16:10,844 --> 00:16:16,934
Tonight must belong to my Kimberlina,
and only you can make that happen.

284
00:16:19,228 --> 00:16:21,478
Please, I am begging you.

285
00:16:27,236 --> 00:16:28,696
You're really being sincere?

286
00:16:29,947 --> 00:16:33,197
I never bring out the puppy dog face
unless I'm dead serious

287
00:16:33,742 --> 00:16:35,372
or I'm begging for a pork chop.

288
00:16:39,081 --> 00:16:42,131
All right, we're back in five seconds.
Places, people.

289
00:16:45,838 --> 00:16:50,048
In five, four, three, two...

290
00:16:51,343 --> 00:16:53,763
What happened to the one? Where's the one?
Say one!

291
00:16:57,599 --> 00:16:59,019
Okay, one.

292
00:17:00,352 --> 00:17:01,312
Thank you.

293
00:17:06,066 --> 00:17:09,526
Welcome back to The Nearlywed Game,
where the soon-to-be wed go head-to-head.

294
00:17:11,655 --> 00:17:12,735
I just made that up.

295
00:17:15,117 --> 00:17:16,367
Just stick to the script.

296
00:17:20,247 --> 00:17:24,627
"Lattice World. It's not a fence.
It's like a fence."

297
00:17:31,800 --> 00:17:33,140
And the ladies are back.

298
00:17:33,218 --> 00:17:35,388
Ramona, tell us how our contestants
are doing.

299
00:17:35,971 --> 00:17:37,641
DJ and Steve are crushing it.

300
00:17:39,016 --> 00:17:41,096
Uncle Jimmy is incoherent.

301
00:17:43,187 --> 00:17:45,397
And my parents are dead last.

302
00:17:46,899 --> 00:17:48,399
Way to represent, Gibblers.

303
00:17:50,235 --> 00:17:52,945
Okay, ladies. The men have been asked
three questions.

304
00:17:53,781 --> 00:17:55,951
Question number one
goes to Jimmy and Stephanie.

305
00:17:56,450 --> 00:17:58,370
What is the first movie
you two saw together?

306
00:17:59,745 --> 00:18:01,745
I went with the first thing
that popped into my head.

307
00:18:02,414 --> 00:18:03,424
Pitch Perfect 2?

308
00:18:03,957 --> 00:18:04,787
Yes!

309
00:18:07,836 --> 00:18:09,046
I love it when you don't think.

310
00:18:11,465 --> 00:18:14,215
Kimmy and Fernando, what's
the first movie you two saw together?

311
00:18:14,301 --> 00:18:15,641
D-D-D...

312
00:18:15,719 --> 00:18:17,099
Driving Miss Daisy.

313
00:18:17,721 --> 00:18:19,391
D'Back to the Future!

314
00:18:22,476 --> 00:18:24,016
How is that a "D" word?

315
00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:26,693
You try spelling "D'Back" without a D.

316
00:18:29,233 --> 00:18:31,323
Uh, Mom and Steve. First movie?

317
00:18:31,985 --> 00:18:34,605
Easy. Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves.

318
00:18:40,119 --> 00:18:41,999
Paul Blart: Mall Cop? What?

319
00:18:42,663 --> 00:18:45,373
Oh, first movie? I'm so sorry.

320
00:18:45,457 --> 00:18:47,247
I thought they said worst movie.

321
00:18:48,460 --> 00:18:49,290
Honey.

322
00:18:49,628 --> 00:18:50,878
Question two.

323
00:18:50,963 --> 00:18:54,343
Stephanie,  what celebrity couple
do you and Jimmy most resemble?

324
00:18:55,175 --> 00:18:56,585
Blake Shelton and Gwen Stefani.

325
00:18:57,553 --> 00:19:00,313
The country guy and the girl
with the blonde hair and the red lipstick.

326
00:19:03,392 --> 00:19:04,982
Judges, will we accept that?

327
00:19:08,063 --> 00:19:09,573
- That's a yes.
- Yes!

328
00:19:09,648 --> 00:19:10,768
Or he needs to go for a walk.

329
00:19:12,109 --> 00:19:15,739
Kimmy, what celebrity couple
do you and Fernando most resemble?

330
00:19:16,822 --> 00:19:18,032
Desi and Lucy.

331
00:19:19,116 --> 00:19:21,486
David Beckham and Dosh Spice.

332
00:19:22,828 --> 00:19:24,748
Mom and Steve. Celebrity couple?

333
00:19:26,331 --> 00:19:28,171
Kate Middleton and Prince William,

334
00:19:28,417 --> 00:19:30,417
because we're regal yet accessible.

335
00:19:37,843 --> 00:19:39,303
Peanut butter and jelly?

336
00:19:39,845 --> 00:19:43,095
That's not even a couple.
That's... sandwich fixings.

337
00:19:43,891 --> 00:19:47,141
Well, sure, but they do go great together,
just like us.

338
00:19:48,145 --> 00:19:49,605
What's going on with you?

339
00:19:51,732 --> 00:19:53,982
Why do you two keep looking at each other?

340
00:19:57,362 --> 00:19:59,622
I've never seen you look
at Fernando, ever.

341
00:20:02,034 --> 00:20:02,914
Question three.

342
00:20:03,368 --> 00:20:06,408
Kimmy, what's something
Fernando finds annoying about you?

343
00:20:06,496 --> 00:20:09,166
Well, based on how everything else
has gone,

344
00:20:10,417 --> 00:20:11,537
da way she chews.

345
00:20:14,087 --> 00:20:15,127
Double jointed knees.

346
00:20:19,259 --> 00:20:22,639
Okay. Mom, something
Steve finds annoying about you?

347
00:20:23,180 --> 00:20:24,140
Ooh!

348
00:20:24,223 --> 00:20:26,683
I'm hyper-competitive,
and I always want to win.

349
00:20:31,605 --> 00:20:33,105
Too many alarm clocks?

350
00:20:33,190 --> 00:20:36,320
I don't have any alarm clocks.
I wake up with the sun.

351
00:20:38,487 --> 00:20:40,157
You're so beautiful.

352
00:20:42,241 --> 00:20:44,031
Are you trying to lose this on purp--

353
00:20:45,369 --> 00:20:48,329
You are trying to lose this on purpose!

354
00:20:48,413 --> 00:20:50,963
Stephanie, what's something
Jimmy finds annoying about you?

355
00:20:52,209 --> 00:20:53,999
My snore is too adorable.

356
00:20:58,966 --> 00:21:02,466
What, a blank card?
We can't win with a blank card.

357
00:21:03,136 --> 00:21:05,636
You told me to go with
the first thing that popped into my head,

358
00:21:05,722 --> 00:21:07,722
and I couldn't think of anything
annoying about you.

359
00:21:09,309 --> 00:21:10,639
Jimmy, what are you talking about?

360
00:21:10,727 --> 00:21:12,897
There's plenty of annoying things
about me.

361
00:21:12,980 --> 00:21:14,820
I-- I leave my dishes in the sink,

362
00:21:14,898 --> 00:21:16,648
I squeeze the toothpaste tube
from the middle,

363
00:21:16,733 --> 00:21:19,443
I say I recycle but I don't.
I'm a monster, just pick one.

364
00:21:20,195 --> 00:21:21,145
Uh...

365
00:21:21,238 --> 00:21:22,198
what is grass?

366
00:21:24,199 --> 00:21:25,369
You are impossible.

367
00:21:25,450 --> 00:21:26,740
You're a tanker.

368
00:21:26,827 --> 00:21:28,327
You're a terrible cheater.

369
00:21:31,206 --> 00:21:33,326
Apparently that's the end of round two.

370
00:21:34,751 --> 00:21:35,751
Who's winning?

371
00:21:35,877 --> 00:21:37,547
I'm pretty sure we're all losing.

372
00:21:38,880 --> 00:21:40,170
You know who's not losing?

373
00:21:40,424 --> 00:21:43,224
Anyone who eats a number 16
with extra pepperoncini

374
00:21:43,302 --> 00:21:46,012
from Uncle Monty's Sandwich Emporium.

375
00:21:46,555 --> 00:21:48,385
♪ You'll love it at Uncle…♪

376
00:21:48,515 --> 00:21:50,765
♪ ...Monty's Sandwich Emporium
Of Alameda ♪

377
00:21:52,644 --> 00:21:54,314
I did not mean to upset Kimberlina.

378
00:21:54,396 --> 00:21:56,856
I was just only trying to help her win.

379
00:21:57,190 --> 00:21:59,070
I was trying to help you help her win.

380
00:21:59,609 --> 00:22:01,649
Man, Stephanie is so mad at me right now

381
00:22:01,737 --> 00:22:04,067
and I still can't think of anything
annoying about her.

382
00:22:05,615 --> 00:22:06,905
So how are we gonna fix this?

383
00:22:06,992 --> 00:22:10,202
I don't know.
I just wish we could go d'back in time.

384
00:22:13,332 --> 00:22:16,132
Can you believe that overgrown man-child
thinks I'm perfect?

385
00:22:16,251 --> 00:22:17,131
How dare he?

386
00:22:18,795 --> 00:22:20,255
-Well, it was kind of sweet.
-Nah--

387
00:22:20,339 --> 00:22:22,219
Gibbler, not now. I'm on my high horse.

388
00:22:23,508 --> 00:22:26,258
Well, at least Jimmy isn't trying
to sabotage you.

389
00:22:26,345 --> 00:22:30,765
Steve knew every one of those answers.
I'm so flippin' mad.

390
00:22:31,850 --> 00:22:33,480
I know, that's right. I dropped an F-bomb.

391
00:22:35,312 --> 00:22:37,192
We all should have just married
Joey McIntyre.

392
00:22:37,272 --> 00:22:39,152
The four of us would have been
so happy together.

393
00:22:40,942 --> 00:22:42,532
I think we had the right stuff.

394
00:22:44,321 --> 00:22:46,411
This game was a colossal mistake.

395
00:22:47,115 --> 00:22:49,025
This game is a massive hit.

396
00:22:49,701 --> 00:22:52,911
It's got drama, it's got turns,
it's got twists.

397
00:22:53,038 --> 00:22:55,288
This is better than
the Bachelor in Paradise.

398
00:22:57,125 --> 00:23:01,295
Max, this was very thoughtful of you guys,
but I'm going to bed...

399
00:23:02,172 --> 00:23:04,592
where I would set my alarm clock
if I had one.

400
00:23:06,134 --> 00:23:07,184
You guys have to come back.

401
00:23:07,260 --> 00:23:10,470
I don't have the emotional maturity
to deal with three grown men crying.

402
00:23:12,349 --> 00:23:14,059
They say they want to make it up to you.

403
00:23:14,184 --> 00:23:15,984
Maybe great, maybe a disaster.

404
00:23:16,186 --> 00:23:17,516
Either way, it's good TV.

405
00:23:19,689 --> 00:23:20,519
Let's go, people.

406
00:23:20,607 --> 00:23:23,937
I'm doing The Price is Right
at a house party in Berkeley in an hour.

407
00:23:28,657 --> 00:23:31,697
And we're back for the largely improvised
round three.

408
00:23:34,955 --> 00:23:37,075
Okay, we're here.
Where are the knuckleheads?

409
00:23:38,291 --> 00:23:41,211
We've quarantined the knuckleheads,
mostly for their own safety.

410
00:23:43,505 --> 00:23:47,425
For the final bonus round, this is
a men's only question that they made up.

411
00:23:48,135 --> 00:23:51,555
We asked the three men you were engaged to
when the night began...

412
00:23:53,265 --> 00:23:56,595
what's something goofy about the ladies
the men find adorable?

413
00:23:56,893 --> 00:23:58,443
First up, Fernando.

414
00:23:59,020 --> 00:24:00,440
Hola, Tannerinos.

415
00:24:08,738 --> 00:24:10,408
Sweet cheese.

416
00:24:12,159 --> 00:24:13,699
Sweet cheese, indeed.

417
00:24:15,328 --> 00:24:20,828
Kimberlina, you have your own unique style
that no one else can pull off.

418
00:24:22,210 --> 00:24:24,710
That's one of the things that makes you
a shining star,

419
00:24:24,796 --> 00:24:27,666
like Cher, Madonna, Lady Gaga, and...

420
00:24:27,757 --> 00:24:28,927
Joey McIntyre?

421
00:24:30,677 --> 00:24:32,507
Please, Kimberlina, I'm trying so hard.

422
00:24:35,182 --> 00:24:36,102
Carry on.

423
00:24:36,641 --> 00:24:37,561
I love you.

424
00:24:38,852 --> 00:24:41,022
And I'm so sorry that I went overboard.

425
00:24:41,771 --> 00:24:43,731
You don't need to win a competition.

426
00:24:44,357 --> 00:24:45,977
You already won my heart.

427
00:24:48,820 --> 00:24:50,820
Oh, I can't stay mad at you.

428
00:24:51,615 --> 00:24:53,325
Especially when you look like me.

429
00:24:56,036 --> 00:24:57,996
Now, if you'll excuse me,

430
00:24:58,079 --> 00:25:01,249
I have a piece of bacon
in a very unfortunate place.

431
00:25:08,548 --> 00:25:10,718
Okay, Steve, your turn to grovel.

432
00:25:12,052 --> 00:25:13,392
Tough act to follow.

433
00:25:15,555 --> 00:25:16,385
DJ...

434
00:25:17,390 --> 00:25:20,600
you're the most pathological,
super-competitive, type-A person

435
00:25:20,685 --> 00:25:21,685
I've ever met.

436
00:25:24,814 --> 00:25:26,074
Not a great start, Hale.

437
00:25:27,400 --> 00:25:29,440
The reason why I'm saying that is that
there is nobody

438
00:25:29,528 --> 00:25:30,898
who lives life to the fullest

439
00:25:30,987 --> 00:25:34,317
or cares more about
everyone and everything as much as you.

440
00:25:35,033 --> 00:25:38,873
Everybody in this house is so lucky
to have you in our lives.

441
00:25:41,248 --> 00:25:43,078
I guess what I'm trying to say is...

442
00:25:49,047 --> 00:25:51,797
You're apologizing with a banner?

443
00:25:57,681 --> 00:25:59,351
Two banners?

444
00:26:04,688 --> 00:26:06,358
I love you.

445
00:26:08,233 --> 00:26:09,903
We're clearly made for each other.

446
00:26:10,527 --> 00:26:12,067
Yep, we are.

447
00:26:12,821 --> 00:26:14,161
But if you ever try to tank again,

448
00:26:14,239 --> 00:26:16,579
there's not a banner big enough
to save you.

449
00:26:19,202 --> 00:26:21,122
And our final Nearlywed

450
00:26:21,288 --> 00:26:25,418
doesn't want to tell us something goofy
about Stephanie that he finds adorable.

451
00:26:25,959 --> 00:26:27,629
He wants to show us.

452
00:26:30,297 --> 00:26:31,297
No.

453
00:26:32,132 --> 00:26:34,512
My-- My "Love Shack" dance
from the telethon?

454
00:26:34,593 --> 00:26:35,473
He's not.

455
00:26:35,552 --> 00:26:36,762
He is!

456
00:26:36,845 --> 00:26:40,675
♪ Love shack♪

457
00:26:40,765 --> 00:26:43,515
♪ Love Shack, baby♪

458
00:26:45,604 --> 00:26:51,364
♪ I'm headin' down the Atlanta highway♪

459
00:26:52,277 --> 00:26:56,657
♪ Lookin' for the love getaway♪

460
00:26:57,157 --> 00:26:59,987
♪ Headed for the love getaway♪

461
00:27:00,076 --> 00:27:03,366
♪ I got me a car
It's as big as a whale♪

462
00:27:03,455 --> 00:27:06,365
♪ And we're headin' on down
To the Love Shack♪

463
00:27:06,458 --> 00:27:07,418
♪ Getaway ♪

464
00:27:07,500 --> 00:27:10,460
♪ I got me a Chrysler
It seats about 20♪

465
00:27:10,545 --> 00:27:14,085
♪ So hurry up and bring
Your jukebox money ♪

466
00:27:14,174 --> 00:27:16,184
♪ The love shack is a little old place♪

467
00:27:16,259 --> 00:27:17,339
Oh, no.

468
00:27:17,427 --> 00:27:22,807
♪ Where we can get together♪

469
00:27:23,433 --> 00:27:27,063
Oh, no.  I am not doing the dance,
but keep working it for Mama.

470
00:27:28,980 --> 00:27:31,480
♪ Love Shack, baby, Love Shack♪

471
00:27:31,566 --> 00:27:34,686
Well, I guess I know what song
we're dancing to at the wedding.

472
00:27:35,111 --> 00:27:36,701
I could shake my rump to this.

473
00:27:38,114 --> 00:27:39,324
"Love Shack" it is.

474
00:27:40,992 --> 00:27:43,832
Oh! Best wedding shower ever.

475
00:27:44,079 --> 00:27:45,159
Thanks, kids.

476
00:27:45,246 --> 00:27:46,996
♪ When everybody's movin' around...♪

477
00:27:47,082 --> 00:27:50,592
And that's our show.
Thanks for watching The Nearlywed Game.

478
00:27:50,669 --> 00:27:53,089
Don't forget to spay and neuter your pets.

479
00:27:53,963 --> 00:27:57,053
♪ Love Shack is a little old place ♪

480
00:27:57,133 --> 00:28:02,683
♪ Where we can get together ♪

481
00:28:02,764 --> 00:28:05,354
♪ Love Shack, baby♪

482
00:28:05,433 --> 00:28:07,233
♪ One, two, three, four ♪

483
00:28:35,463 --> 00:28:37,473
♪ La, la, la, la, la, la♪