♪ La, la la la la la ♪
♪ Whatever happened to predictability? ♪
♪ The milkman, the paperboy The evening TV ♪
♪ Everywhere you look Everywhere you go ♪
♪ There's a heart, a hand to hold onto ♪
♪ Everywhere you look Everywhere you go ♪
♪ There's a face Of somebody who needs you ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
♪ When you're lost out there And you're all alone ♪
♪ A light is waiting to carry you home ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ La, la la la la la ♪
♪ Ooh ♪
Come on, Kimmy! We don't want to be late for our high school reunion!
This is killing me.
As much as I love the dress I have on,
my old prom dress keeps blinking, "Wear me, wear me, wear me..."
Or, "Burn me, burn me, burn me..."
It's a high school reunion, Kimmy, not a '90s theme party.
Our entire lives are a '90s theme party.
You know, it's such a shame that Matt is still in India.
I mean, he's missing all of this.
But I texted him some photos.
Did he like your new dress?
Who said the dress was on?
Was it?
Yes!
Oh, look! It's our high school yearbook.
I totally forgot I was voted Most Likely To Succeed,
Most Likely To Use "Gosh" in a Sentence
and Most Likely To Marry Lance Bass.
Gosh, they were wrong about that.
All I got was Most Weirdest.
All because one time I ate a sandwich with my feet.
Aww, look at this picture of me and Steve at Steve's prom.
We had such big dreams.
And big hair.
Tonight's gonna be a great night.
For you.
However, I will not be going.
Woah, woah... What just happened?
Kathy Santoni just posted this on our reunion Facebook page.
"Garbage Bag Gibbler."
Oh, that was senior ditch day.
Yep, we were partying in the hot springs and some joker stole my clothes.
I spent the whole day wearing a trash bag.
Nobody rocks a Hefty bag like you.
Thanks, but you know darn well I was the laughing stock of the whole school.
Well, just for a couple of weeks, 'cause then Lisa Wolf farted in Glee Club.
But who cares?
I mean, you have blossomed into a wonderful mother
and a powerful, independent businesswoman.
And let's not forget, my date is the handsomest man in the world.
Kimberlina, are you sure
this is what men wear to high school reunions in America?
I wanna make sure everybody knows you're a hot race car driver.
Your job is to stand there all night and be my man candy.
I feel like a piece of beefcake.
And I'm surprisingly fine with it.
Oooh...
Hit me baby one more time.
Hey.
- Hey. - I have great news about the kids.
First of all, put your hands together for the superstar of Third Grade,
Mr Maxwell Fuller.
♪ It's meant to be ♪
♪ Wa-ooh ♪
♪ If we just believe ♪
♪ Nothin's too far Nothin's out of reach... ♪
Guess who just got Student of the Month for the eighth time?
Bam!
- Yeah! - Nice!
Sometimes during tests, I close one eye just to make it more challenging.
And next, she's got moves like Jagger, but she doesn't know who Jagger is.
Say hello to Ramona Gibbler.
Guess who made the newspaper's Top 15 Dancers Under 15.
Honey, that's incredible!
Not only did you make the newspaper, you also know what a newspaper is.
And, last but not least, the newest member of the Fuller Over Achiever's Club,
Jackson Fuller.
What, no music?
Oh, that was dancing?
Guess who got all A's this semester.
Wow.
That's unbelievable.
I... I mean, it's not unbelievable,
it's just... really surprising.
I mean, it's not surprising, I mean... congratulations, honey.
Thank you.
And tonight, Stephanie is gonna throw
Stephanie's first annual gifted student pizza party.
Stephanie's gonna need your credit card.
Wahoo! Pizza party! Pizza party!
Pizza party!
It's always open!
- Hey, you guys. - Hi, you guys look great!
Deej, since you're going to your class reunion at our old high school,
would you return Lord of the Flies to the library for me?
It's a little overdue.
Steve, this was due 22 years ago.
Yeah, if you could just, like, sneak it onto the shelf,
you'd save me about nine grand in late fees.
Steve, you're a naughty boy.
Maybe you should make me write, "I'm a naughty boy"
100 times on the blackboard.
Maybe I will.
Maybe you should take that outside.
Kimmy, you can do this.
You are a strong, black woman.
No, you're not, but you get the idea.
Look, there's Kathy Santoni.
Are you sure that's her?
Yes, look at those boobs!
Kimmy? DJ? Oh, it's so good to see you.
Hi.
Well, everybody's already organized.
The nerds are by the punchbowl,
the stoners are over there
and the two guys I dated on the water polo team
are now married and making out under the bleachers.
Hey, did you see the picture I posted?
Oh. Yes.
Garbage Bag Gibbler.
Thank you for reminding me of all the fun we had in high school.
I can't wait until our 40th,
so we can reminisce about all the fun we had just now.
Come on, let's go watch Kimmy.
Welcome to the Bayview High class of '95 reunion,
produced by Gibbler Style Party Planning.
I'm Kimmy Gibbler.
Garbage Bag Gibbler! Hah!
Nobody remembers or cares about some silly incident from 20 years ago.
Correction: everybody cares.
Anyhoo, tonight we have a celebrity in the house,
my fiancé, the most handsome race car driver on the planet,
Fernando Hernandez-Guerrero-Fernandez-Guerrero!
There is my man, straight from work,
where he drives a race car and looks very debonair doing it.
Wait till you see this handsome face.
What is wrong with you people? He's beauti...
Oh, my God, you're a monster!
I have a funny story.
While I was waiting outside,
I was viciously attacked by a gang of bees.
Perhaps I should not have passed the time by tossing rocks at their hive.
I haven't looked in the mirror,
but I might be slightly allergic.
I swear, he's gorgeous. You should see him in his Speedo.
It is true, I am normally a magnificent sight to behold.
Fernando, we have got to get you to a hospital.
No, it's your big night.
I already called Lyft. It is cheaper than Uber.
Are you sure?
Yes, I checked the prices.
Kimberlina, goodbye, I love you.
No, I'm DJ!
Oh. I am sorry, my eyelids are folding in on themselves.
OK, um...
Moving on,
let's get this party started with some '90s music.
Uh... but the DJ is stuck in traffic.
Oh...
Well, no worries, I'll just plug in my phone with my '90s playlist.
Kimberly, this is Dr. Shapiro.
You need to drink a lot of cranberry juice to flush out your system
and then, every two hours...
... you can just apply cream directly to the affected area.
With any luck, you'll be back in action by New Year's Eve.
Check it out, I finally made the fridge with something other than a hand turkey.
How did you get all A's anyway?
I've never seen you study once.
Ramona,
in America, it's not about studying,
it's about dreaming big.
Again, how did you get all A's?
I asked myself the same question.
"Max, how does a C student become and A student
overnight?"
And that's when I took a leisurely stroll over to the printer-scanner-copier.
Jackson,
little tip.
In the future, if you wanna change your grades,
always remove the original report card from the printer-scanner-copier.
J'accuse!
What does "J'accuse" mean?
It means I accuse you. In French.
A language you claim to have an A in.
Hey, hey, hey, hey... Whoa.
Max.
Are you saying Jackson altered his report card?
Because that does not sound like the honest kid that I...
Oh, yeah, he did it.
So what if I changed my grades?
Sorry I'm not good at test-taking.
Or at using the printer-scanner-copier.
Fine.
Who cares about getting my stupid report card on the stupid fridge,
where we keep our stupid food and our stupid drinks.
I'm outta here.
Well, he definitely gets an A in Drama.
DJ Tanner.
The girl that got away.
Oh, Nelson!
You look almost the same.
How are you?
House in Stinson Beach and one in Maui
and, of course, there's the chalet in Aspen.
I asked, "How are you?"
Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you asked me, "How many homes do you have?"
I see you're here solo.
Good news, I'm flying solo myself.
Oh, good for you.
Gulfstream G6.
I thought you asked how I was flying solo.
Hey, Deej, is this poindexter bothering you?
- Viper? - Hey.
Gosh, what a surprise.
Deej, you look even better than you did in high school.
And you looked good in high school.
And you didn't even go to our high school.
What are you doing here?
Well, I came here to see you.
You're the one that got away.
Hey, I said that first.
So anyway, I'm still playing in a band.
And I got a day job at Foot Locker.
My boss is a real tool, he makes me buy him beer.
I see you're still full of wasted potential.
Hey...
How did you know I was wasted?
And, now I remember why I broke up with both of you.
Excuse me, I'm gonna go mingle.
- Great, I'll come with you. - No, I'll come with you.
Uh, no, you won't, because she's with me.
No, bro. She's with me.
Actually, guys, she's with me.
- Steve? - Steve?
Steve?
Yep. My name's Steve.
Now if you'll excuse me, my girl and I would like some time alone.
Thank you.
Can you believe she picked that guy?
Well, he was captain of the wrestling team.
And currently one of the Bay Area's leading podiatrists.
You can't compete with that.
Steve, what are you doing here?
Kimmy texted me, she said you were in desperate need of an escort.
Aww.
You showed up to rescue me.
Just like you did at my prom.
Hey, Deej, you wanna see if our names are still on the gym floor?
Oh, there's no way.
Oh, Mylanta!
You know, I carved that on our first date.
I knew you were a keeper.
I knew you were too.
Why did we ever break up?
Well, that was my biggest regret in high school.
And I wound up dating those two bozos.
I am so glad that you're here, you just made my whole night.
OK, everyone, in case you were concerned, Fernando is breathing on his own.
OK, let's party!
Somebody get this woman a garbage bag.
Hey.
I'm very busy.
Clearly.
Do you mind if I take a moment out of your busy schedule?
Why did you change your grades?
'Cause mine sucked.
They didn't suck, they were just average.
Well, except for the D.
And I don't know why they gave you a D in Wood Shop.
Because that is a beautiful birdhouse.
It's a spice rack.
Well, in case you hadn't noticed, everybody in this family is a superstar.
Well, except me.
I get it.
You just wanna feel special.
Everybody wants that.
Well, great.
Not even my feelings are special.
You're being too hard on yourself.
Really? Then name one thing I'm great at.
You are a great friend to Cosmo.
He adores you.
OK, that was really bad timing.
Let's just admit it.
I'm not great at anything.
And I never will be.
'Cause nothing about me is special.
Jackson, don't say that.
Please, leave me alone.
OK.
Excuse me, have you seen a frazzled-looking woman wearing Spanx?
Woo!
I am sorry everyone saw you in your Spanx.
This reunion is a total disaster.
My dress tore off, my fiancé looks like the elephant man,
and everybody knows I have a urinary tract infection.
Smile.
We can go home right now. Whatever you wanna do, I'm here for you.
Well, I can't leave, I still have to pay the caterer and lock up.
She-wolf.
I hope you're having a better night than I am.
Well, I'm having a pretty great time with Steve.
I mean, a really great time.
Maybe too great of a time.
Goofy face.
It's so confusing.
I don't know if I'm having real feelings for Steve
or I'm just getting caught up in all the nostalgia.
But maybe Steve's still in my life for a reason.
I think you should go and talk to him.
And then let me know when everyone's gone.
I'll be hiding behind the Dumpster.
BFFs
Jackson, we need you.
No, you don't.
Lola's here.
Coming.
Hey, Lola. What are you doing here?
Your family said you wouldn't come downstairs unless I came over.
OK, I'm going back upstairs.
Na-ah, hold on.
All right, we just wanna talk to you. Please, have a seat.
It's time for the Jackson Fuller Award Show,
we're we give awards to Jackson Fuller.
I'll go first.
Jackson, when I first moved in, you were so sweet to me.
You even gave me your bedroom.
No, I didn't, my mom took it away from me.
And then I got so mad that I ran away from home.
But eventually you gave me your room.
And that was very nice of you.
So that's why this is for you.
Best New Brother 2016.
Is that a ballerina?
It is.
Because you are tutu sweet.
Get it?
Yeah, I get it. Can I go now, please?
I have to tell you a story.
A long, long time ago,
I was seven.
And there was a monster in my closet.
Everyone told me I was nuts,
except you.
You believed me!
And then you caught the monster in a pillowcase
and put him out with the trash.
So?
So...
You saved my life.
And opened up more closet space.
And that's why I present you with this.
This is Cosmo's certificate from obedience school.
And now it's yours.
Thanks, I guess.
Wait, hold on.
This little guy told me to tell you a secret.
He said that you're the best brother ever. But not to tell Max.
He also said that you give the best tickles in the world.
So come on, give the kid a thrill.
Come on, I woke him up for this.
The kid's an easy laugh.
He thinks that light bulbs are hysterical.
Um... I didn't really have anything prepared,
but you're my first boyfriend and I am very picky.
I think you're awesome and you're a really good kisser.
I am?
Wow, I feel so much better!
Why didn't we just start with Lola?
You see?
When it comes to being a great boyfriend, a great brother and a great nephew,
you get an A plus.
The way you make people feel is what makes you really special.
Thanks.
Really? I'm a good kisser?
Ocupado.
I'm not sure you remember me, but we almost got married.
Dwayne?
The "Whatever" guy?
Yeah, that's me, I didn't have the most expansive vocabulary back then.
It's so good to see you. What have you been up to?
Well, I went to Harvard and then I became a motivational speaker.
I took my lame catchphrase, "Whatever," and turned it into an entire worldview.
It's all about saying "Whatever" to any obstacle that life gives you.
Kimmy Gibbler,
your entire class is making fun of you?
Whatever.
Your fiancé got stung my bees and looks grotesque?
Whatever.
Your Spanx are trending? Whatever!
Thank you, Dwayne.
I'm gonna go turn this night around.
Whatever.
That's our song, "Everything I Do."
In parentheses, "I Do It For You."
From our favorite movie, Robin Hood.
Colon: Prince of Thieves.
- May I? - You may.
♪ Look into my eyes ♪
♪ You will see ♪
♪ What you mean to me ♪
♪ Search your heart ♪
♪ And search your soul ♪
♪ And when you find me there ♪
♪ You'll search no more ♪
♪ Don't tell me it's not worth trying for ♪
♪ You can't tell me it's not worth dying for ♪
♪ You know it's true ♪
♪ Everything I do ♪
♪ I do it for you ♪
Aww, all these old memories are coming back.
And old feelings too.
Deej, there's something I need to talk to you about.
There's something I need to talk to you about too. I'll go first.
I'm gonna propose to CJ.
Or you could go first.
CJ has everything I'm looking for in a partner.
She's caring and funny and beautiful.
All the things I treasured about you when we were together.
Thank you.
Look... To be honest,
I started dating CJ because she reminded me of you.
Now I love her for who she is.
And if I learned anything from our relationship,
it's that...
you can't let a good thing slip away.
I've been thinking about that too.
So, um...
I guess I'm gonna propose.
Unless you can think of a reason why I shouldn't.
I can't think of one.
You OK?
Yeah.
I'm just, I'm so happy for you and CJ.
I'm so happy for you and Matt.
We just have to promise that no matter what happens, we'll always stay friends.
Because I love you.
I love you too.
Deej, I'm back.
Kimmy, what are you doing?
Embracing my inner "Whatever".
I'm using that correctly, aren't I?
Whatever.
Kimberlina, it's me, Fernando.
I had a feeling.
What are you doing?
I wanted to come back, but I did not want to attract attention.
- Take your bandages off. - But what if you find me repugnant?
I'm wearing a garbage bag, we're way past repugnant.
OK, everyone, gather around
and get your pictures of Garbage Bag Gibbler and Freak Show McBeeSting.
Because I'm not here to impress you people,
I'm here to have a great night with my best friend and my beautiful fiancé.
So whatever.
Even back in high school you were never afraid to be weird.
You're the bravest person I know.
To Kimmy Gibbler.
What are they doing?
Oh, it's the slow clap.
It means the nerdy outsider is finally accepted by the cool kids
and the movie's almost over.
What a relief. In Argentina it means you're about to be executed.
Oh. I know we've heard this before, but I only have two songs on my phone.
♪ One, two, three, four... ♪