1 00:00:01,836 --> 00:00:02,712 So I'm proud to say 2 00:00:02,795 --> 00:00:05,381 we have met our quarterly stabbing goals. 3 00:00:05,465 --> 00:00:08,134 That brings this gang leader meeting to a close. 4 00:00:08,217 --> 00:00:09,343 (Pizzaz) Ah-hem! 5 00:00:09,427 --> 00:00:10,970 I have a quick something-something. 6 00:00:11,053 --> 00:00:12,180 Yeah? Which gang are you in, bitch? 7 00:00:12,263 --> 00:00:14,265 I'm Pizzaz Miller, 8 00:00:14,348 --> 00:00:16,309 chief of the roughest gang in town-- 9 00:00:16,392 --> 00:00:18,269 the Moonbeam City Police. 10 00:00:18,352 --> 00:00:20,646 Oh! Oh, sorry. I meant no disrespect... 11 00:00:20,730 --> 00:00:22,774 bitch! I mean, ma'am. 12 00:00:22,857 --> 00:00:24,859 As you know, Cop-Con is this weekend. 13 00:00:24,942 --> 00:00:27,487 The entire police force will be away for three days. 14 00:00:27,570 --> 00:00:29,155 But we'd appreciate it if you didn't 15 00:00:29,238 --> 00:00:31,699 tear the city apart like you do every other year. 16 00:00:31,783 --> 00:00:33,659 No way! Crime is how we prove our manhood! 17 00:00:33,743 --> 00:00:37,121 I see. So I guess you don't want 18 00:00:37,205 --> 00:00:37,997 your Uncle Carlo back? 19 00:00:38,080 --> 00:00:41,000 [gang leaders gasp] Uncle Carlo! 20 00:00:41,083 --> 00:00:42,543 He's all of our uncle! 21 00:00:42,627 --> 00:00:45,046 If you animals behave yourselves for this one weekend, 22 00:00:45,129 --> 00:00:46,339 and he goes free. It's up to you-- 23 00:00:46,422 --> 00:00:49,342 will Uncle Carlo get parole... 24 00:00:49,425 --> 00:00:50,843 or the hole? 25 00:00:50,927 --> 00:00:52,345 All right, show of hands. 26 00:00:52,428 --> 00:00:54,847 All in favor of not doing crimes for three days... 27 00:00:54,931 --> 00:00:56,182 (guys) Aye. - Nay. 28 00:00:56,265 --> 00:00:56,849 Aah! 29 00:00:56,933 --> 00:00:57,600 All right, it's unanimous. 30 00:00:57,683 --> 00:01:00,269 No crimes till Monday morning. 31 00:01:00,353 --> 00:01:02,313 You have our word, bitch-- ma'am. 32 00:01:02,396 --> 00:01:04,774 Welcome to civilization, boys, and remember-- 33 00:01:04,857 --> 00:01:07,193 we walk around on twos, not fours. 34 00:01:07,276 --> 00:01:09,695 Try it. You might like it. 35 00:01:09,779 --> 00:01:12,698 [techno music] 36 00:01:12,782 --> 00:01:19,831 ♪ ♪ 37 00:01:24,961 --> 00:01:27,880 (Chrysalis) So what actually happens at Cop-Con? 38 00:01:27,964 --> 00:01:29,215 (Dazzle) Well, it's a retreat for cops 39 00:01:29,298 --> 00:01:31,050 to quietly meditate on justice 40 00:01:31,133 --> 00:01:33,219 and peacekeeping, and-- 41 00:01:33,302 --> 00:01:35,721 Booze busses to Cop-Con boarding now. 42 00:01:35,805 --> 00:01:37,640 No trampling! [cops cheering] 43 00:01:37,723 --> 00:01:39,350 - Shouldn't we get boarding? - No bus for us. 44 00:01:39,433 --> 00:01:41,561 I booked a discount rent-a-car and hotel deal 45 00:01:41,644 --> 00:01:43,062 for you, me, and Pizzaz-- 46 00:01:43,145 --> 00:01:44,355 You know, the Ol' Gang. 47 00:01:44,438 --> 00:01:45,815 (Pizzaz) What do you mean by "the Ol' Gang"? 48 00:01:45,898 --> 00:01:48,234 You know what I mean. We're the three people 49 00:01:48,317 --> 00:01:50,403 in the office whose adventures stand out the most 50 00:01:50,486 --> 00:01:51,237 on a weekly basis. 51 00:01:51,320 --> 00:01:52,864 But I talk with Rick in forensics 52 00:01:52,947 --> 00:01:54,073 way more than either of you. 53 00:01:54,156 --> 00:01:56,075 Rick? What kind of name is Rick? 54 00:01:56,158 --> 00:01:57,410 Never heard of him. 55 00:01:57,493 --> 00:01:58,995 He is definitely not in the 'Ol Gang. 56 00:01:59,078 --> 00:02:00,830 Ah, good. 57 00:02:00,913 --> 00:02:02,957 My chauffeur has arrived. 58 00:02:03,040 --> 00:02:03,749 Rad Cunningham. 59 00:02:03,833 --> 00:02:05,751 His name should be Dan Druff-- 60 00:02:05,835 --> 00:02:09,422 'cause I wish he'd stay out of my hair. 61 00:02:09,505 --> 00:02:10,590 Guess whose car was recalled yesterday 62 00:02:10,673 --> 00:02:13,342 for rattling too many windows? 63 00:02:13,426 --> 00:02:14,802 I'm rolling with you guys. 64 00:02:14,886 --> 00:02:16,095 Although I despise you, Rad, 65 00:02:16,178 --> 00:02:18,014 you are one of the foremost interesting cops on the force. 66 00:02:18,097 --> 00:02:20,725 But your adventures this weekend had better be notable, 67 00:02:20,808 --> 00:02:23,603 or you're out of the Ol' Gang! 68 00:02:23,686 --> 00:02:27,273 You know, Pizzaz, this year we have to 69 00:02:27,356 --> 00:02:30,610 make sure that we don't repeat that mistake. 70 00:02:30,693 --> 00:02:31,277 I don't wanna talk about it. 71 00:02:31,360 --> 00:02:33,988 That foolish, drunken, 72 00:02:34,071 --> 00:02:35,531 sexually-charged mistake that we make 73 00:02:35,615 --> 00:02:37,742 multiple times at every Cop-Con. 74 00:02:37,825 --> 00:02:41,495 Dazzle, we are not discussing it. 75 00:02:41,579 --> 00:02:42,872 Stop it-- stop kicking me! 76 00:02:42,955 --> 00:02:44,081 I'm not kicking you! 77 00:02:44,165 --> 00:02:46,083 What the hell is going on back there? 78 00:02:46,167 --> 00:02:48,294 - Rad smells weird! - I'm sweating 79 00:02:48,377 --> 00:02:49,503 because I'm buried in leather bags, 80 00:02:49,587 --> 00:02:52,965 and that triggers my hyperhydrosis of the taint! 81 00:02:53,049 --> 00:02:54,967 (Dazzle) I swear, you two get along back there, 82 00:02:55,051 --> 00:02:56,636 or I will turn this car around and--oh, wait. 83 00:02:56,719 --> 00:02:58,304 We're here. [brakes screech] 84 00:02:58,387 --> 00:03:02,183 [techno music] 85 00:03:02,266 --> 00:03:03,809 ♪ ♪ 86 00:03:03,893 --> 00:03:05,394 My name's Rad! 87 00:03:05,478 --> 00:03:07,563 ♪ And I like to bounce ♪ 88 00:03:07,647 --> 00:03:08,648 This is the sound the bed makes 89 00:03:08,731 --> 00:03:10,316 when it's having sex! 90 00:03:10,399 --> 00:03:11,817 [springs creaking] Ricka-ricka-ricka-ricka-- 91 00:03:11,901 --> 00:03:14,320 Rad! The bed's not for bouncing! 92 00:03:14,403 --> 00:03:16,572 (woman) The softest core adult movies 93 00:03:16,656 --> 00:03:18,574 are at your fingertips. 94 00:03:18,658 --> 00:03:20,618 Ah! They got soft core! 95 00:03:20,701 --> 00:03:22,161 Keep it in your pants, Rad. 96 00:03:22,244 --> 00:03:24,121 Chrysalis and I need to get ready for our panels. 97 00:03:24,205 --> 00:03:27,500 Wait--Chrysalis and Dazzle get to do panels, and I don't? 98 00:03:27,583 --> 00:03:29,001 Rad, not every cop can host a panel this year. 99 00:03:29,085 --> 00:03:32,505 You were selected as the one cop who should not. 100 00:03:32,588 --> 00:03:34,966 I hate you! And I hate Cop-Con! 101 00:03:35,049 --> 00:03:36,634 I'm never leaving this room! 102 00:03:36,717 --> 00:03:39,679 [dramatic sobbing] 103 00:03:39,762 --> 00:03:41,389 [background chatter] 104 00:03:41,472 --> 00:03:43,516 Dazzle, would you like to accompany me inside 105 00:03:43,599 --> 00:03:44,684 for the video orientation? 106 00:03:44,767 --> 00:03:48,020 Do you think that's a good idea? 107 00:03:48,104 --> 00:03:48,771 Do you think it's a good idea? 108 00:03:48,854 --> 00:03:51,524 That looks kinda cramped for two. 109 00:03:51,607 --> 00:03:52,900 WHO ASKED YOU? 110 00:03:52,984 --> 00:03:54,443 Dazzle, come with me. 111 00:03:55,945 --> 00:03:58,823 Hello, I'm Crimezappers host Vex Mullery. 112 00:03:58,906 --> 00:04:00,449 For the next 2 1/4 minutes, 113 00:04:00,533 --> 00:04:02,660 I'll show you how to make the most out of 114 00:04:02,743 --> 00:04:04,704 your Cop-Con experience. 115 00:04:04,787 --> 00:04:06,539 The Groove Shapiro Memorial GigaPlace, 116 00:04:06,622 --> 00:04:09,083 a structure so massive... 117 00:04:09,166 --> 00:04:12,211 Ugh, you know, I just cannot imagine anything worse 118 00:04:12,294 --> 00:04:14,046 than having to watch this video for the next 119 00:04:14,130 --> 00:04:16,048 2 1/4 minutes. 120 00:04:16,132 --> 00:04:17,550 If only there was some way to distract ourselves 121 00:04:17,633 --> 00:04:19,885 for that modest runtime. 122 00:04:19,969 --> 00:04:22,138 Yes. If only. 123 00:04:22,221 --> 00:04:23,848 [slurping] 124 00:04:26,058 --> 00:04:27,351 (Dazzle) Okay...okay... 125 00:04:27,435 --> 00:04:29,353 Be sure to shove your way to the front row 126 00:04:29,437 --> 00:04:31,230 - of the hottest panels... - Okay... 127 00:04:31,313 --> 00:04:33,107 including famed police whistleblower 128 00:04:33,190 --> 00:04:34,734 - Stereo Campari's - Okay...okay... 129 00:04:34,817 --> 00:04:36,819 - 700 Corrupt Cops. - Okay...okay! 130 00:04:36,902 --> 00:04:38,487 Enjoy the finest cuisine... 131 00:04:38,571 --> 00:04:40,406 - Why? Why? - Because. Because. 132 00:04:40,489 --> 00:04:42,199 - Why! Uhh! - Because. 133 00:04:42,283 --> 00:04:44,910 Yes, this is your Cop-Con, cops. 134 00:04:44,994 --> 00:04:46,454 Make the most of it! 135 00:04:46,537 --> 00:04:48,205 All right, when do I get my check? 136 00:04:48,289 --> 00:04:51,709 Ohh...my goodness gracious me. 137 00:04:51,792 --> 00:04:54,628 We can never speak of this shameful incident again. 138 00:04:54,712 --> 00:04:57,006 It's the day one Cop-Con tension coming out, you know? 139 00:04:57,089 --> 00:04:59,717 Exactly. This was fully expected to happen on day one. 140 00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:01,927 But never again. Shame! 141 00:05:02,011 --> 00:05:04,096 Yes. Shame. 142 00:05:04,180 --> 00:05:05,431 Regret. Never again. 143 00:05:05,514 --> 00:05:06,432 Shame. 144 00:05:06,515 --> 00:05:08,225 Shame. 145 00:05:08,309 --> 00:05:09,435 Shame. 146 00:05:09,518 --> 00:05:10,936 And the long-coveted technology 147 00:05:11,020 --> 00:05:14,940 of a nausea-inducing riot control tone is here now. 148 00:05:15,024 --> 00:05:16,776 Take a listen or, uh, actually, 149 00:05:16,859 --> 00:05:19,111 plug your ears so you don't diarrhea yourself to death. 150 00:05:19,195 --> 00:05:20,571 'Cause this thing works! 151 00:05:21,363 --> 00:05:23,783 Oh...ohh! 152 00:05:23,866 --> 00:05:25,284 With any luck, 153 00:05:25,367 --> 00:05:27,745 this will be Moonbeam P.D.'s 154 00:05:27,828 --> 00:05:29,622 most violent year yet! 155 00:05:29,705 --> 00:05:31,123 [cheering] 156 00:05:31,207 --> 00:05:32,708 Pizzaz, my dear! 157 00:05:32,792 --> 00:05:34,627 Did you see that guy crap his guts out? 158 00:05:34,710 --> 00:05:36,587 Phoomp! I love it. 159 00:05:36,670 --> 00:05:38,631 Dazzle, this is Sergeant Flux Nicholson, 160 00:05:38,714 --> 00:05:41,634 a moth-eaten first edition of the Moonbeam P.D. 161 00:05:41,717 --> 00:05:43,677 Sergeant Nicholson, I've heard many a tale 162 00:05:43,761 --> 00:05:46,138 about you and your hard ass. 163 00:05:46,222 --> 00:05:47,515 Ah--a clamp! 164 00:05:47,598 --> 00:05:48,682 (robot) What are you? 165 00:05:48,766 --> 00:05:51,769 (Flux) Meet our newest ally in police questioning-- 166 00:05:51,852 --> 00:05:52,937 InteRRobot! 167 00:05:53,020 --> 00:05:55,898 Hey, Dazzle's a good-good. Put him down. 168 00:05:55,981 --> 00:05:59,276 Watch him in action. InteRRobot, 169 00:05:59,360 --> 00:06:00,778 interrogate! 170 00:06:00,861 --> 00:06:03,781 (InteRRobot) WHERE WERE YOU LAST NIGHT? 171 00:06:03,864 --> 00:06:05,157 I was at the movies. 172 00:06:05,241 --> 00:06:05,991 DON'T LIE TO ME. 173 00:06:06,075 --> 00:06:08,828 I was cheating on my wife, okay? 174 00:06:08,911 --> 00:06:11,455 [laughter, cheering, gunshots] 175 00:06:11,539 --> 00:06:12,748 I'm not sure I like the direction 176 00:06:12,832 --> 00:06:14,166 the department is heading. 177 00:06:14,250 --> 00:06:15,000 Oh, relax, grandma. 178 00:06:15,084 --> 00:06:17,878 You can't stop the march of progress. 179 00:06:17,962 --> 00:06:19,672 In her knee-high jackboots... 180 00:06:19,755 --> 00:06:21,507 cheapening the price of human life 181 00:06:21,590 --> 00:06:23,300 a little more every day. 182 00:06:23,384 --> 00:06:25,177 Welp, off to my panel! 183 00:06:25,261 --> 00:06:26,178 (Pizzaz) Stereo Campari. 184 00:06:26,262 --> 00:06:29,140 Now, there's a cop Moonbeam City deserves. 185 00:06:29,223 --> 00:06:32,852 Or maybe that snitch will get what he deserves. 186 00:06:32,935 --> 00:06:35,146 Hey, hey, good to see you today! 187 00:06:35,229 --> 00:06:37,356 All right, all right! [crowd cheering] 188 00:06:37,439 --> 00:06:38,983 You know, people always ask me: 189 00:06:39,066 --> 00:06:42,111 Dazzle, how do you don the finest threads, 190 00:06:42,194 --> 00:06:43,863 drive the cherriest rides, 191 00:06:43,946 --> 00:06:46,323 and sail the floatiest boats 192 00:06:46,407 --> 00:06:48,701 on a police officer's pathetic salary? 193 00:06:48,784 --> 00:06:50,911 The answer: I... 194 00:06:52,288 --> 00:06:54,874 And using my patented Keep What You Confiscate program, 195 00:06:54,957 --> 00:06:58,544 any normal cop can be a pig... 196 00:06:58,627 --> 00:06:59,295 who lives high on the hog. 197 00:07:01,630 --> 00:07:04,842 No, I didn't confiscate her from a crime scene. 198 00:07:04,925 --> 00:07:05,676 Just kidding--I did! 199 00:07:05,759 --> 00:07:07,887 [loud cheering] 200 00:07:07,970 --> 00:07:09,263 (Chrysalis) For too long, 201 00:07:09,346 --> 00:07:11,348 we've focused on punishments for violent crime 202 00:07:11,432 --> 00:07:13,058 and not enough on the causes. 203 00:07:13,142 --> 00:07:15,186 Today, I'd like to explore those causes, 204 00:07:15,269 --> 00:07:18,856 using hours' worth of exciting graphs-- 205 00:07:18,939 --> 00:07:21,066 Uh... I have a question. 206 00:07:21,150 --> 00:07:21,609 We're not to the Q&A portion yet, 207 00:07:21,692 --> 00:07:23,736 but go ahead. 208 00:07:23,819 --> 00:07:25,237 Do you have a boyfriend? 209 00:07:25,321 --> 00:07:27,031 That's not relevant, but...no. 210 00:07:27,114 --> 00:07:30,159 Anyway, an ounce of prevention is-- 211 00:07:30,242 --> 00:07:31,076 I have a follow-up question. 212 00:07:31,160 --> 00:07:34,580 - What? - Go to Cop-Con prom with me. 213 00:07:34,663 --> 00:07:36,248 That's not a question. And no. 214 00:07:36,332 --> 00:07:38,918 I have a condition where I hear no as yes. 215 00:07:39,001 --> 00:07:40,169 So I'll see you there. 216 00:07:40,252 --> 00:07:43,214 (gang leader) Yo, Razor, you think there's something weird 217 00:07:43,297 --> 00:07:44,757 in the air? 218 00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:46,926 Yeah, without the cops hassling us, 219 00:07:47,009 --> 00:07:47,593 things feel...different. 220 00:07:47,676 --> 00:07:48,928 [bird twitters] 221 00:07:49,011 --> 00:07:51,472 What's that sound that is not gunshots 222 00:07:51,555 --> 00:07:54,308 - or sirens? - That's some kind of bird fool! 223 00:07:54,391 --> 00:07:56,018 Look! 224 00:07:56,101 --> 00:07:56,936 Yo, the cycle of life is happening 225 00:07:57,019 --> 00:08:00,105 right here in the hood, fool! 226 00:08:00,189 --> 00:08:02,733 When Uncle Carlo comes back, he's gonna see how we 227 00:08:02,816 --> 00:08:05,194 let the whole community suffer, man. 228 00:08:05,277 --> 00:08:06,946 What if we clean things up? 229 00:08:07,029 --> 00:08:07,613 You mean sweep away the dried blood 230 00:08:07,696 --> 00:08:10,449 and dirty needles? 231 00:08:10,532 --> 00:08:12,368 Yeah. And coach youth baseball leagues 232 00:08:12,451 --> 00:08:15,537 instead of youth shooting-guns- out-of-a-car leagues! 233 00:08:15,621 --> 00:08:16,956 Oh, yo, Razor, go steal-- 234 00:08:17,039 --> 00:08:20,167 I mean, go buy some lumber, man. 235 00:08:20,251 --> 00:08:25,506 We're gonna make skid row a place where kids grow! 236 00:08:28,050 --> 00:08:29,134 Welcome to Arrestaurant. 237 00:08:29,218 --> 00:08:31,553 May I take your statement? 238 00:08:31,637 --> 00:08:32,930 What are today's specials? 239 00:08:33,013 --> 00:08:35,307 Death-penaltini, copghetti and meat-bullets, 240 00:08:35,391 --> 00:08:38,060 and vice cream with boys-in-blueberry sauce. 241 00:08:38,143 --> 00:08:40,020 You know what, I'll just have the hamcuffs and eggs... 242 00:08:40,104 --> 00:08:41,272 Aided and abetted by... 243 00:08:41,355 --> 00:08:44,567 Hmm. What are the side choices? 244 00:08:44,650 --> 00:08:46,527 Badge potatoes, mozzarella batons, 245 00:08:46,610 --> 00:08:47,319 SWAT and sour chicken, SWAT potato fries, 246 00:08:47,403 --> 00:08:50,030 SWAT corn soup, SWAT corn bread. 247 00:08:50,114 --> 00:08:51,573 Great. One of each for the table. 248 00:08:51,657 --> 00:08:53,617 I'll just have an A.P.B. and Jail-y. 249 00:08:53,701 --> 00:08:54,493 What's the B.L.T.F.C.? 250 00:08:54,576 --> 00:08:56,954 Bacon, Lettuce, Tomato for Cops. 251 00:08:57,037 --> 00:08:58,330 I guess I'll have that. 252 00:08:58,414 --> 00:09:00,791 Let me confiscate your menus. 253 00:09:00,874 --> 00:09:02,251 I'm worried about the Stereo Campari panel today. 254 00:09:02,334 --> 00:09:04,295 He seems to have a lot of enemies. 255 00:09:04,378 --> 00:09:06,714 Someone should let that kid know 256 00:09:06,797 --> 00:09:07,965 that snitches get stitches. 257 00:09:08,048 --> 00:09:09,842 Stereo Campari isn't a snitch. 258 00:09:09,925 --> 00:09:10,926 He's a better man than you'll ever be. 259 00:09:11,010 --> 00:09:15,055 Where is this love for Stereo Campari coming from? 260 00:09:15,139 --> 00:09:17,349 And why is it making me so suddenly jealous? 261 00:09:17,433 --> 00:09:18,976 I'm attracted to his moral fiber and self-control, 262 00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:21,603 of which you have none. 263 00:09:21,687 --> 00:09:22,187 We're out of hamcuffs and eggs. 264 00:09:22,271 --> 00:09:23,981 Well, that's too bad. 265 00:09:24,064 --> 00:09:25,607 What are some of the other menu items 266 00:09:25,691 --> 00:09:27,568 that you haven't said out loud yet? 267 00:09:27,651 --> 00:09:28,861 Uh, arriagnment veal with Miranda rice, 268 00:09:28,944 --> 00:09:31,113 prisonstroni soup, bail-oney on an onion pa-role, 269 00:09:31,196 --> 00:09:34,116 chocolate chips rookies, D.U.I. pie. 270 00:09:34,199 --> 00:09:35,326 Okay, okay, one of all of those. 271 00:09:35,409 --> 00:09:37,036 How dare you say I have no self-control! 272 00:09:37,119 --> 00:09:39,830 Should we continue this heated discussion back in our room? 273 00:09:39,913 --> 00:09:41,498 Yes. Yes we should. 274 00:09:41,582 --> 00:09:44,960 (woman) The gentlest foreplay is waiting for you. 275 00:09:45,044 --> 00:09:46,253 Just enter the code. 276 00:09:46,337 --> 00:09:49,089 "Bra-clad nurses bare their cleavage 277 00:09:49,173 --> 00:09:52,343 in a semi-clothed rubdown." 278 00:09:52,426 --> 00:09:54,303 Oh! That's hot stuff. [door closes] 279 00:09:54,386 --> 00:09:57,514 Rad, get out! Go down to Cop-Con and have fun. 280 00:09:57,598 --> 00:09:59,933 I am having fun! Cop-Con sucks. 281 00:10:00,017 --> 00:10:02,353 This is my time. This is Rad-Con. 282 00:10:02,436 --> 00:10:03,896 Rad-Con! Great idea! 283 00:10:03,979 --> 00:10:05,230 You should take Rad-Con down to Cop-Con 284 00:10:05,314 --> 00:10:07,983 and get everybody else on board. 285 00:10:08,067 --> 00:10:09,610 You think Rad-Con is a good idea? 286 00:10:09,693 --> 00:10:11,278 Great idea. But downstairs. 287 00:10:11,362 --> 00:10:13,781 With the others. Go. 288 00:10:13,864 --> 00:10:15,157 Rad-Con? 289 00:10:15,240 --> 00:10:16,617 A great idea? 290 00:10:16,700 --> 00:10:17,910 [moaning, bed springs creaking] 291 00:10:17,993 --> 00:10:20,829 Hey, no fair! How come they get to jump on the bed? 292 00:10:21,955 --> 00:10:25,250 I was at your panel. 293 00:10:25,334 --> 00:10:27,544 Yeah, that seat's taken. My friends are coming back. 294 00:10:27,628 --> 00:10:29,588 I'll keep you company till then. 295 00:10:29,671 --> 00:10:30,506 My name is Skit. Skit Riback. 296 00:10:30,589 --> 00:10:33,759 I work in the deviant sex crimes unit. 297 00:10:33,842 --> 00:10:35,761 Now, we see a lot of weird stuff. 298 00:10:35,844 --> 00:10:37,054 You should come check it out. 299 00:10:37,137 --> 00:10:38,597 You--you might like it! 300 00:10:38,680 --> 00:10:39,556 Skit, I'd actually prefer to be alone 301 00:10:39,640 --> 00:10:41,975 than sit anywhere near you. 302 00:10:42,059 --> 00:10:43,477 So, tell me things about you. 303 00:10:43,560 --> 00:10:44,228 What do you do for fun? 304 00:10:44,311 --> 00:10:45,396 Why did you get so pretty? 305 00:10:45,479 --> 00:10:50,067 The angels must have put a bunch of stars in your eyes. 306 00:10:50,150 --> 00:10:50,984 Hope nobody... cuts 'em up. 307 00:10:51,068 --> 00:10:53,278 - What? - Nothing. 308 00:10:56,824 --> 00:10:59,076 That was clearly just Cop-Con day two tension 309 00:10:59,159 --> 00:11:01,453 coming out. 310 00:11:01,537 --> 00:11:02,830 I mean, why else would we make 311 00:11:02,913 --> 00:11:03,997 two different, shameful mistakes 312 00:11:04,081 --> 00:11:05,249 twice in 24 hours? 313 00:11:05,332 --> 00:11:07,751 Good. We're in shameful agreement. 314 00:11:07,835 --> 00:11:08,919 No more mistakes from here on out. 315 00:11:09,002 --> 00:11:11,130 Shame. Oh! Gotta go. 316 00:11:11,213 --> 00:11:12,840 My band is opening for Stereo Campari. 317 00:11:14,216 --> 00:11:15,426 Fine--go! 318 00:11:15,509 --> 00:11:18,429 I knew you couldn't do it five times in a row! 319 00:11:20,013 --> 00:11:22,433 Cop-Con used to be cool, 320 00:11:22,516 --> 00:11:24,935 but we've all seen it become a convention 321 00:11:25,018 --> 00:11:27,104 just for the popular cops! 322 00:11:27,187 --> 00:11:29,606 It's time to start a totally twisted, 323 00:11:29,690 --> 00:11:34,695 F-ed up, anti-authority cop convention-- 324 00:11:34,778 --> 00:11:36,655 This...is Rad-Con! 325 00:11:36,738 --> 00:11:38,615 [scattered applause, cheers] 326 00:11:38,699 --> 00:11:40,159 Rad rules, Rad rules! 327 00:11:40,242 --> 00:11:43,162 (guys) Rad rules, Rad rules... 328 00:11:43,245 --> 00:11:44,830 I'm talking! Stop! Stop copying me! 329 00:11:47,791 --> 00:11:51,128 Chrysalis, would you sign my Chrysalis fantasy fan fiction? 330 00:11:51,211 --> 00:11:52,880 Look, that's you on the book. 331 00:11:52,963 --> 00:11:54,298 Uh... 332 00:11:54,381 --> 00:11:56,508 No, probably shouldn't see it. 333 00:11:56,592 --> 00:11:58,051 [Vex on P.A.] Stereo Campari's 700 Corrupt Cops 334 00:11:58,135 --> 00:12:01,180 will begin momentarily. 335 00:12:01,263 --> 00:12:03,265 But first, here's the rockabilly music stylings 336 00:12:03,348 --> 00:12:07,144 of Buster Brown's Midnight Moonshine 337 00:12:07,227 --> 00:12:10,564 and The Texas "Hold 'Em" Boys! 338 00:12:10,647 --> 00:12:12,483 [cheers and applause] 339 00:12:12,566 --> 00:12:15,444 ♪ Well ♪ 340 00:12:15,527 --> 00:12:17,529 ♪ We're gonna cop this town down tonight ♪ 341 00:12:17,613 --> 00:12:20,324 ♪ We're gonna cop this town down tonight ♪ 342 00:12:20,407 --> 00:12:22,534 ♪ We're gonna cop this town down tonight ♪ 343 00:12:22,618 --> 00:12:24,203 ♪ We're gonna cop this town, make it feel all right ♪ 344 00:12:24,286 --> 00:12:27,414 ♪ Cop, Cop, Coppity Cop ♪ 345 00:12:27,498 --> 00:12:29,082 ♪ We're gonna Cop this town tonight! ♪ 346 00:12:29,166 --> 00:12:30,083 ♪ Oh oh whoo ♪ 347 00:12:30,167 --> 00:12:32,794 [off-key] ♪ ♪ 348 00:12:32,878 --> 00:12:35,339 Guitar! 349 00:12:35,422 --> 00:12:37,966 ♪ ♪ 350 00:12:38,050 --> 00:12:40,135 Play those chords! 351 00:12:40,219 --> 00:12:42,930 ♪ ♪ 352 00:12:43,013 --> 00:12:43,889 Never again. 353 00:12:43,972 --> 00:12:47,309 ♪ Yeah, when I say cop, you say cop ♪ 354 00:12:47,392 --> 00:12:47,935 - ♪ Cop ♪ - ♪ Cop! ♪ 355 00:12:48,018 --> 00:12:49,853 - ♪ Cop ♪ - ♪ Cop ♪ 356 00:12:49,937 --> 00:12:52,022 ♪ Yeah, when I say cop, you say cop ♪ 357 00:12:52,105 --> 00:12:52,981 - ♪ Cop ♪ - ♪ Cop! ♪ 358 00:12:53,065 --> 00:12:54,066 - ♪ Cop ♪ - ♪ Cop ♪ 359 00:12:54,149 --> 00:12:57,152 ♪ Cop to your left, cop to your right ♪ 360 00:12:57,236 --> 00:12:59,613 ♪ Cop all the way, cop all night ♪ 361 00:12:59,696 --> 00:13:01,490 ♪ Cop, cop, coppity cop ♪ 362 00:13:01,573 --> 00:13:04,618 ♪ We're gonna cop this town tonight ♪ 363 00:13:04,701 --> 00:13:05,953 [cheers and applause] 364 00:13:06,036 --> 00:13:08,247 Thank you. Thanks, everybody. 365 00:13:08,330 --> 00:13:11,333 And now, Moonbeam's number one whistleblower, 366 00:13:11,416 --> 00:13:13,210 Stereo Campari! 367 00:13:13,293 --> 00:13:14,878 - Thank you. [boos and cheers] 368 00:13:14,962 --> 00:13:20,467 The following 700 Moonbeam City cops are corrupt. 369 00:13:20,551 --> 00:13:23,887 I'm gonna start with A. Al-- 370 00:13:23,971 --> 00:13:25,806 [gunshot] 371 00:13:25,889 --> 00:13:26,598 [cops gasp] 372 00:13:26,682 --> 00:13:28,392 Let me through! Back away! 373 00:13:28,475 --> 00:13:30,310 This is an active crime scene. 374 00:13:30,394 --> 00:13:32,646 Every cop in this building is a suspect. 375 00:13:32,729 --> 00:13:36,066 I want Cop-Con placed on lockdown immediately! 376 00:13:36,149 --> 00:13:37,067 [Vex on P.A.] Attention! 377 00:13:37,150 --> 00:13:38,151 no one is allowed in or out 378 00:13:38,235 --> 00:13:41,363 of the Gigaplace. 379 00:13:41,446 --> 00:13:43,865 The killer may be your best friend 380 00:13:43,949 --> 00:13:45,117 or your partner of many years. 381 00:13:45,200 --> 00:13:47,536 Don't trust anyone! 382 00:13:47,619 --> 00:13:49,288 - I'm worried. - Me too. 383 00:13:49,371 --> 00:13:51,498 There's a killer within our ranks. 384 00:13:51,582 --> 00:13:53,458 No, I'm worried they might cancel Cop-Con prom 385 00:13:53,542 --> 00:13:55,085 over this nonsense, but, yeah, sure, 386 00:13:55,168 --> 00:13:56,920 - murder's bad too. - And without cops, 387 00:13:57,004 --> 00:13:58,714 who knows what's happening on the streets. 388 00:13:58,797 --> 00:13:59,923 Yo, my crossing-guard job 389 00:14:00,007 --> 00:14:02,926 makes me feel reinfranchised. 390 00:14:03,010 --> 00:14:04,803 Without constant police brutality, 391 00:14:04,886 --> 00:14:06,597 it's like a weight has been lifted. 392 00:14:06,680 --> 00:14:10,892 More doves, man! The doves love it here! 393 00:14:10,976 --> 00:14:15,397 ♪ ♪ 394 00:14:15,480 --> 00:14:15,981 (Vex) No one is permitted 395 00:14:16,064 --> 00:14:17,691 to leave the Cop-Con 396 00:14:17,774 --> 00:14:21,153 until Stereo Campari's killer is apprehended. 397 00:14:21,236 --> 00:14:23,155 Feel free to keep false apprehending 398 00:14:23,238 --> 00:14:25,866 until we find the actual killer. 399 00:14:25,949 --> 00:14:27,659 WHO KILLED STEREO CAMPARI? 400 00:14:27,743 --> 00:14:30,370 I already told you. I don't know. 401 00:14:30,454 --> 00:14:32,664 DO NOT LIE TO INTERROBOT. 402 00:14:32,748 --> 00:14:33,415 Look, I just want to get outta here. 403 00:14:33,498 --> 00:14:36,501 Okay? How 'bout you let me go? 404 00:14:36,585 --> 00:14:40,672 InteRRobot is programmed to never accept bribes. 405 00:14:40,756 --> 00:14:41,006 Wink. 406 00:14:44,426 --> 00:14:45,344 (waitress) May I take your statement? 407 00:14:45,427 --> 00:14:49,181 Rib eye steakout, medium rare, no backup. 408 00:14:49,264 --> 00:14:50,098 - We're out of food. - Why'd you come 409 00:14:50,182 --> 00:14:51,141 - to the table then? - I don't know. 410 00:14:51,224 --> 00:14:54,561 It's a pretty funny menu, you've got to admit. 411 00:14:54,645 --> 00:14:55,395 This is hell. 412 00:14:55,479 --> 00:14:56,813 We're never gonna leave Cop-Con, 413 00:14:56,897 --> 00:14:58,357 and I'm fresh out of ideas. 414 00:14:58,440 --> 00:14:59,274 [pounding, squeaking] 415 00:14:59,358 --> 00:15:03,070 Our killer is playing Whac-a-Mole. 416 00:15:03,153 --> 00:15:04,196 Who, that guy? 417 00:15:04,279 --> 00:15:05,113 No, but much like the wacker of the fabled mole, 418 00:15:05,197 --> 00:15:08,867 our killer will keep wacking and wacking 419 00:15:08,950 --> 00:15:10,035 until he's succeeded. 420 00:15:10,118 --> 00:15:11,870 But what if the mole... wacked back? 421 00:15:11,953 --> 00:15:13,080 So you're saying... 422 00:15:13,163 --> 00:15:15,248 Whoever would murder one whistleblower 423 00:15:15,332 --> 00:15:17,793 would murder two whistleblowers, right? 424 00:15:17,876 --> 00:15:18,460 In theory, yes. But-- 425 00:15:18,543 --> 00:15:20,420 Attention, everyone! 426 00:15:20,504 --> 00:15:23,131 Stereo Campari told me everything he knew 427 00:15:23,215 --> 00:15:24,383 before he died. 428 00:15:24,466 --> 00:15:27,052 I'm revealing it all tonight at Cop-Con Prom... 429 00:15:27,135 --> 00:15:29,638 unless someone... kills me first! 430 00:15:29,721 --> 00:15:32,557 So...don't miss it! 431 00:15:32,641 --> 00:15:34,726 Did Stereo actually tell you anything? 432 00:15:34,810 --> 00:15:35,852 No. What I'm doing is known in poker as lying. 433 00:15:35,936 --> 00:15:38,980 It's the perfect bait for Campari's assassin. 434 00:15:39,064 --> 00:15:40,440 But how are you going to protect yourself 435 00:15:40,524 --> 00:15:42,275 from the assassin? 436 00:15:42,359 --> 00:15:43,151 Hmm. Did not think about that part. 437 00:15:43,235 --> 00:15:45,987 [chatter, singing, birds tweeting] 438 00:15:46,071 --> 00:15:47,739 Our community was really hurt, man. 439 00:15:47,823 --> 00:15:51,118 But now we stand brother to brother 440 00:15:51,201 --> 00:15:52,744 in, like, a spirit of hope! 441 00:15:52,828 --> 00:15:54,413 ♪ In a copless world ♪ 442 00:15:54,496 --> 00:15:57,916 [jazzy organ] 443 00:15:57,999 --> 00:16:00,335 ♪ We all are free ♪ 444 00:16:00,419 --> 00:16:05,090 ♪ To turn U-R-T ♪ 445 00:16:05,173 --> 00:16:06,925 ♪ Into O-P-E! ♪ 446 00:16:07,008 --> 00:16:08,427 ♪ Leaving the H intact ♪ 447 00:16:08,510 --> 00:16:10,429 ♪ Take out the A-R-M ♪ 448 00:16:10,512 --> 00:16:13,098 ♪ Oh, yeah ♪ 449 00:16:13,181 --> 00:16:16,810 ♪ And put in the E-L-P ♪ 450 00:16:16,893 --> 00:16:18,854 ♪ Leaving the H ♪ 451 00:16:18,937 --> 00:16:19,771 ♪ Leaving the H ♪ 452 00:16:19,855 --> 00:16:23,275 ♪ Leaving the H once again ♪ 453 00:16:23,358 --> 00:16:24,818 ♪ Everybody ♪ 454 00:16:24,901 --> 00:16:26,611 ♪ ♪ 455 00:16:26,695 --> 00:16:30,115 ♪ Leaving the H once again ♪ 456 00:16:30,198 --> 00:16:32,117 ♪ Leaving the H once again ♪ 457 00:16:32,200 --> 00:16:33,535 ♪ ♪ 458 00:16:33,618 --> 00:16:36,288 ♪ Leaving the H once again ♪ 459 00:16:36,371 --> 00:16:38,707 ♪ ♪ 460 00:16:38,790 --> 00:16:40,292 ♪ Everybody ♪ 461 00:16:40,375 --> 00:16:41,626 ♪ Leaving the H once again ♪ 462 00:16:41,710 --> 00:16:44,171 ♪ Everybody ♪ 463 00:16:44,254 --> 00:16:45,464 ♪ Leaving the H once again ♪ 464 00:16:45,547 --> 00:16:47,883 ♪ Everybody ♪ 465 00:16:47,966 --> 00:16:48,467 We just might have an I-T 466 00:16:48,550 --> 00:16:51,762 on our A-N-D-S. 467 00:16:51,845 --> 00:16:53,138 Leaving the H once again. 468 00:16:53,221 --> 00:16:57,350 (Vex) We're moments away from the announcement 469 00:16:57,434 --> 00:16:58,643 of King and Queen Cop, 470 00:16:58,727 --> 00:17:01,563 but remember: keep an eye out 471 00:17:01,646 --> 00:17:04,316 for the murderer of Stereo Campari. 472 00:17:04,399 --> 00:17:07,819 You could be dancing with him or her right now! 473 00:17:07,903 --> 00:17:09,488 Okay, when they announce me and Pizzaz 474 00:17:09,571 --> 00:17:11,406 as Cop-Con Prom King and Cop-Con Prom Queen, 475 00:17:11,490 --> 00:17:13,658 we'll come on stage. 476 00:17:13,742 --> 00:17:15,035 Chrysalis, you'll be in the rafters-- 477 00:17:15,118 --> 00:17:16,495 like the mouse you resemble-- 478 00:17:16,578 --> 00:17:17,329 watching the audience for suspicious characters. 479 00:17:17,412 --> 00:17:20,665 Sounds good--oh wait, how do you know 480 00:17:20,749 --> 00:17:21,583 you two will be voted Cop-Con Prom King and Queen? 481 00:17:21,666 --> 00:17:22,667 - Oh... - Ha... 482 00:17:22,751 --> 00:17:24,669 - Ah... - I, uh... 483 00:17:24,753 --> 00:17:26,588 - It's a joke. - I see now. 484 00:17:26,671 --> 00:17:27,798 - A clever jibe. - It's a jape. 485 00:17:27,881 --> 00:17:29,758 - Chrysalis, you jester. - Chrysalis, you're funny! 486 00:17:29,841 --> 00:17:30,509 Okay, okay, okay, I get it. I'll get in position. 487 00:17:30,592 --> 00:17:32,093 Attention, everyone! 488 00:17:32,177 --> 00:17:33,845 Crowd the stage for the announcement 489 00:17:33,929 --> 00:17:37,891 of our Cop-Con Prom King and Queen. 490 00:17:37,974 --> 00:17:39,851 Dazzle, if either one of us doesn't make it, 491 00:17:39,935 --> 00:17:40,811 I just want to say-- 492 00:17:40,894 --> 00:17:43,522 Shhh, baby, baby, baby. I already know. 493 00:17:43,605 --> 00:17:46,525 These last three days have been the best of my life too. 494 00:17:46,608 --> 00:17:47,943 I know I lack the scruples of Stereo Campari. 495 00:17:48,026 --> 00:17:49,027 I don't care if some cop breaks the rules 496 00:17:49,110 --> 00:17:50,737 to shake down a free lunch in this town. 497 00:17:50,821 --> 00:17:52,864 But I do believe in Cop-Con Prom. 498 00:17:52,948 --> 00:17:57,035 And, like Stereo, I'm willing to die 499 00:17:57,119 --> 00:17:58,537 for what I believe in. 500 00:17:58,620 --> 00:18:00,038 I was actually going to say that your band sucks 501 00:18:00,121 --> 00:18:02,874 and you need keep your garbage guitar playing to yourself. 502 00:18:02,958 --> 00:18:04,876 The votes are counted. 503 00:18:04,960 --> 00:18:09,381 This year's Cop-Con Prom King and Queen are... 504 00:18:09,464 --> 00:18:10,882 Whew--showtime! 505 00:18:10,966 --> 00:18:12,551 Dazzle, Flux Nicholson is reaching for his pocket 506 00:18:12,634 --> 00:18:14,594 at your two o'clock. 507 00:18:14,678 --> 00:18:16,138 I don't know how to do that clock thing. 508 00:18:16,221 --> 00:18:17,264 Just tell me-- left or right. 509 00:18:17,347 --> 00:18:19,558 Right. That's left! I said right! 510 00:18:19,641 --> 00:18:20,809 Oh, no, Skit's also reaching for something. 511 00:18:20,892 --> 00:18:22,602 Skit? You mean your boyfriend? 512 00:18:22,686 --> 00:18:24,187 He's not my boyfriend! 513 00:18:24,729 --> 00:18:28,859 [slow mo] Guuuuun! 514 00:18:29,860 --> 00:18:30,861 Dazzle! 515 00:18:33,029 --> 00:18:35,448 - Dazzle, are you hit? - No. Thanks to you, baby. 516 00:18:35,532 --> 00:18:36,700 - Wow...oh... - Okay...okay... 517 00:18:36,783 --> 00:18:39,494 - Ooh... - Okay! 518 00:18:40,662 --> 00:18:43,248 Right here, asshole. 519 00:18:43,331 --> 00:18:44,958 I'll save you, Chrysalis! 520 00:18:45,041 --> 00:18:46,668 Aah! 521 00:18:46,751 --> 00:18:47,419 So the killer was Rick. 522 00:18:47,502 --> 00:18:50,589 Rick? Who the [bleep] is Rick? 523 00:18:50,672 --> 00:18:53,508 Rick from forensics--I told you about him the other day. 524 00:18:53,592 --> 00:18:54,676 Why would Rick be the killer? 525 00:18:54,759 --> 00:18:56,595 I don't know! Ask Rick! 526 00:18:56,678 --> 00:18:58,513 - My reasons were-- - No, no, no, no. 527 00:18:58,597 --> 00:19:00,140 He doesn't get to talk. Take him away. 528 00:19:00,223 --> 00:19:03,101 Everybody freeze! 529 00:19:03,184 --> 00:19:03,935 Gimme that microphone! 530 00:19:04,019 --> 00:19:07,105 For all you jocks and prisses 531 00:19:07,188 --> 00:19:10,108 enjoying your little meat parade, well guess what! 532 00:19:10,191 --> 00:19:11,776 Cop-Con Prom is cancelled! 533 00:19:11,860 --> 00:19:16,448 This is Rad-Con Prom. 534 00:19:16,531 --> 00:19:18,199 Vengeance...is ours! 535 00:19:18,283 --> 00:19:19,326 [guys cheering] 536 00:19:19,409 --> 00:19:21,202 Take this, nerd! 537 00:19:21,286 --> 00:19:21,953 - Ugh! - Uhh! 538 00:19:22,037 --> 00:19:24,789 [phoom, phoom, phoom] Oh! 539 00:19:24,873 --> 00:19:25,957 [groans] 540 00:19:26,041 --> 00:19:28,460 Now, as I was saying before I was rudely interrupted, 541 00:19:28,543 --> 00:19:34,132 this year's Cop-Con Cop-Prom King and Queen are... 542 00:19:34,216 --> 00:19:36,635 Chrysalis Tate and InteRRobot! 543 00:19:36,718 --> 00:19:39,346 - What? - Wha-- 544 00:19:39,429 --> 00:19:41,222 Are you people kidding me? 545 00:19:41,306 --> 00:19:43,892 I HAVE A QUESTION... 546 00:19:43,975 --> 00:19:46,853 MAY I HAVE THIS DANCE? 547 00:19:46,937 --> 00:19:50,357 Yes, InteRRobot, I'd like that. 548 00:19:50,440 --> 00:19:51,816 Chrysalis, I-I saved you, 549 00:19:51,900 --> 00:19:55,195 so I thought maybe I could get a dance in. 550 00:19:55,278 --> 00:19:55,320 Aah! [thud] 551 00:19:59,240 --> 00:20:00,492 (Pizzaz) Well, cops, the murder's been solved, 552 00:20:00,575 --> 00:20:01,576 the lockdown is lifted. 553 00:20:01,660 --> 00:20:02,702 You're free to go. 554 00:20:02,786 --> 00:20:04,287 See you at next year's Cop-Con. 555 00:20:04,371 --> 00:20:04,412 Drive safe. 556 00:20:07,999 --> 00:20:11,002 Time to try out the new toys, boys! 557 00:20:11,086 --> 00:20:11,920 [jazzy organ] 558 00:20:12,003 --> 00:20:12,796 ♪ Leaving the H once again ♪ 559 00:20:12,879 --> 00:20:13,797 - Aah! - Aah! 560 00:20:13,880 --> 00:20:16,049 Stop this gang song! 561 00:20:16,132 --> 00:20:19,052 This is a peaceful gathering. 562 00:20:19,928 --> 00:20:21,429 [phoom, phoom, phoom, phoom] 563 00:20:21,513 --> 00:20:22,681 What's that H doing there? 564 00:20:22,764 --> 00:20:23,848 Get rid of it! 565 00:20:23,932 --> 00:20:24,683 [sirens] [commotion] 566 00:20:24,766 --> 00:20:28,436 Uncle Carlo! 567 00:20:28,520 --> 00:20:29,938 Oh... 568 00:20:30,021 --> 00:20:31,022 [crash] 569 00:20:31,106 --> 00:20:34,609 (Dazzle) Moonbeam City. Just like we left it. 570 00:20:34,693 --> 00:20:37,612 Always a fire burning. Always a ghetto blasting. 571 00:20:37,696 --> 00:20:40,740 Always...my home. 572 00:20:40,824 --> 00:20:40,865 Let's go. They need us out there. 573 00:20:45,537 --> 00:20:48,873 Pizzaz, last time for real? 574 00:20:48,957 --> 00:20:50,166 You mean one more time after this time 575 00:20:50,250 --> 00:20:52,419 - will be the last time? - Yes, that's what I meant. 576 00:20:52,502 --> 00:20:54,713 - Okay... - Oh...oh! 577 00:20:54,796 --> 00:20:55,046 - Okay...okay! [Pizzaz moans] 578 00:20:55,130 --> 00:20:56,715 ♪ Oh ♪ 579 00:20:56,798 --> 00:20:58,842 Chirp. 580 00:21:01,219 --> 00:21:03,763 Hey! 581 00:21:03,847 --> 00:21:05,056 (man over intercom) Will Officer Blast Rodriguez 582 00:21:05,140 --> 00:21:07,100 please report to the Lost and Found? 583 00:21:07,183 --> 00:21:08,059 We found your brass knuckles. 584 00:21:08,143 --> 00:21:10,645 Execution videos are now half-price. 585 00:21:10,729 --> 00:21:15,692 Remember, firearms are not permitted on the Cop Con floor. 586 00:21:15,775 --> 00:21:16,776 They're required.