1
00:00:01,909 --> 00:00:03,493
- Oh, my God,
2
00:00:03,503 --> 00:00:04,244
I'm getting married
to a complete stranger.
3
00:00:04,254 --> 00:00:05,462
- Let's go.
4
00:00:07,165 --> 00:00:09,341
- Six weeks ago,
ten courageous individuals
5
00:00:09,417 --> 00:00:11,427
risked it all to find love.
6
00:00:11,502 --> 00:00:13,086
- Pleased to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.
7
00:00:13,096 --> 00:00:15,681
- They married
as complete strangers.
8
00:00:15,765 --> 00:00:20,677
- You may kiss your bride.
[cheers and applause]
9
00:00:20,762 --> 00:00:22,938
- I'm feeling great,
I'm a married man.
10
00:00:23,023 --> 00:00:24,523
[upbeat music]
11
00:00:24,599 --> 00:00:26,358
- Last time,
12
00:00:26,434 --> 00:00:28,351
our five couples went
on a retreat with the hopes
13
00:00:28,361 --> 00:00:31,938
of growing closer before that
all-important Decision Day.
14
00:00:31,948 --> 00:00:33,273
[gunshot]
- [yelps]
15
00:00:33,283 --> 00:00:35,442
- I'm gonna die here today.
16
00:00:35,452 --> 00:00:37,861
- Bao and Johnny.
17
00:00:37,945 --> 00:00:40,039
- I feel like
level one conversations
18
00:00:40,114 --> 00:00:41,540
are working for us.
19
00:00:41,616 --> 00:00:42,875
- I think that's--that's
the recipe for success.
20
00:00:44,544 --> 00:00:46,378
- Rachel and Jose.
21
00:00:46,463 --> 00:00:49,214
- I'm super happy
where we're at.
22
00:00:49,290 --> 00:00:51,541
We just got to keep in mind
everything that we've learned,
23
00:00:51,551 --> 00:00:54,219
you know, and what we
want our end goal to be,
24
00:00:54,295 --> 00:00:56,221
you know, so we can
make the right decision.
25
00:00:58,224 --> 00:00:59,892
- Myrla and Gil.
26
00:00:59,967 --> 00:01:02,052
- I wish we could have
gone faster on longer trail.
27
00:01:02,062 --> 00:01:05,147
- Are you ever satisfied
with anything?
28
00:01:05,223 --> 00:01:06,473
Do you feel okay
with me saying that?
29
00:01:06,483 --> 00:01:08,484
- I receive it.
- "I receive it."
30
00:01:08,559 --> 00:01:09,860
- You can't copy me.
- [laughs]
31
00:01:10,570 --> 00:01:12,321
- Brett and Ryan.
32
00:01:12,396 --> 00:01:14,648
- I just can't make excuses
for not having conversations,
33
00:01:14,732 --> 00:01:16,817
whether it's for the
right intentions or not.
34
00:01:16,901 --> 00:01:18,410
- Mm-hmm.
35
00:01:18,486 --> 00:01:19,319
- There's never gonna be
perfect timing for 'em.
36
00:01:19,403 --> 00:01:20,704
- Mm-hmm.
37
00:01:21,906 --> 00:01:23,406
- Michaela and Zack.
38
00:01:23,416 --> 00:01:25,000
- I don't want
to ride back with you.
39
00:01:25,076 --> 00:01:26,585
- If that's the case,
I'm going to leave tonight.
40
00:01:26,669 --> 00:01:28,003
- Good, bye.
41
00:01:28,079 --> 00:01:29,246
He's getting in the car.
42
00:01:29,330 --> 00:01:31,173
Ryan, if you're saying
it's not helping,
43
00:01:31,249 --> 00:01:33,258
then get in the car with him
'cause he's [bleep]ing leaving.
44
00:01:33,334 --> 00:01:34,843
- He's a [bleep]ing adult.
45
00:01:34,919 --> 00:01:37,254
Like, what are we supposed
to do, lay under the car?
46
00:01:37,338 --> 00:01:38,722
- Get out!
[glass shatters]
47
00:01:40,433 --> 00:01:42,017
[door slams]
48
00:01:42,102 --> 00:01:44,186
[upbeat music]
- Whoo!
49
00:01:44,270 --> 00:01:45,938
- And tonight,
50
00:01:46,013 --> 00:01:47,523
with only two weeks left
until Decision Day...
51
00:01:47,598 --> 00:01:50,517
- I've never
brought anybody here.
52
00:01:50,601 --> 00:01:52,435
- Our couples will
have the opportunity
53
00:01:52,445 --> 00:01:54,613
to show their roots
as they try to build
54
00:01:54,689 --> 00:01:57,366
an even stronger bond
with their partner.
55
00:01:57,441 --> 00:01:58,867
- "I know you always
want a glimpse
56
00:01:58,952 --> 00:02:00,944
"into the future and to know
that you'll end up happy,
57
00:02:00,954 --> 00:02:03,780
"well, spoiler alert, you will.
You'll discover what
58
00:02:03,790 --> 00:02:05,791
means the most to you
in this world, love."
59
00:02:05,875 --> 00:02:07,534
- I feel better in the past week
60
00:02:07,544 --> 00:02:09,294
than I have in a long time.
61
00:02:09,379 --> 00:02:12,289
- I just want him to know
I love you.
62
00:02:12,298 --> 00:02:13,882
- I do want to see
if you feel that
63
00:02:13,967 --> 00:02:17,210
you have told each other
secrets that are hard to tell.
64
00:02:17,220 --> 00:02:19,972
- I'm gonna say something,
basically, I'm going to regret.
65
00:02:21,808 --> 00:02:23,049
There's something I
haven't told Jose about
66
00:02:23,059 --> 00:02:24,560
the night he locked me out.
67
00:02:24,644 --> 00:02:27,312
[dramatic music]
68
00:02:27,388 --> 00:02:30,640
- I recently had a conversation
with Bao's best friend, Sarah.
69
00:02:30,650 --> 00:02:32,058
♪ ♪
70
00:02:32,068 --> 00:02:34,477
- I got a text from
a friend that showed
71
00:02:34,562 --> 00:02:36,813
that you are on a dating app.
72
00:02:36,823 --> 00:02:41,151
♪ ♪
73
00:02:41,161 --> 00:02:42,995
- They were matched by experts,
74
00:02:43,070 --> 00:02:45,488
then, after eight weeks,
75
00:02:45,498 --> 00:02:49,409
they must make the decision
for themselves.
76
00:02:49,419 --> 00:02:50,335
- Do you want to stay married?
77
00:02:50,411 --> 00:02:52,329
♪ ♪
78
00:02:52,338 --> 00:02:55,174
- Or do you want
to get a divorce?
79
00:02:55,249 --> 00:03:00,637
♪ ♪
80
00:03:02,006 --> 00:03:03,515
- ♪ It's all or nothing ♪
81
00:03:03,591 --> 00:03:06,518
- This is
"Married At First Sight."
82
00:03:06,603 --> 00:03:09,679
♪ ♪
83
00:03:09,689 --> 00:03:11,598
- ♪ It's all or nothing ♪
84
00:03:11,608 --> 00:03:14,351
[upbeat music]
85
00:03:14,360 --> 00:03:16,945
♪ ♪
86
00:03:17,021 --> 00:03:18,021
- I don't know about you,
but I'm ready
87
00:03:18,031 --> 00:03:18,864
to head back to the city.
88
00:03:18,948 --> 00:03:20,949
♪ ♪
89
00:03:21,025 --> 00:03:23,526
- Are we almost there?
Are we there yet?
90
00:03:23,536 --> 00:03:25,871
- These are
some country-ass back roads.
91
00:03:25,947 --> 00:03:30,784
♪ ♪
92
00:03:30,793 --> 00:03:34,213
- Home, sweet, home.
93
00:03:34,288 --> 00:03:37,049
- The Couples Retreat has
come to an end and our couples
94
00:03:37,124 --> 00:03:38,375
are now returning home
to Houston.
95
00:03:38,384 --> 00:03:40,043
- [sighs]
96
00:03:40,053 --> 00:03:42,295
- And with Decision Day
approaching fast...
97
00:03:42,305 --> 00:03:44,973
- That was our trip to rekindle.
98
00:03:45,049 --> 00:03:46,975
- They only have two weeks left
99
00:03:47,060 --> 00:03:49,970
to address any lingering
questions or concerns
100
00:03:49,979 --> 00:03:51,313
before making the most
101
00:03:51,389 --> 00:03:53,899
important decision
of their lives,
102
00:03:53,983 --> 00:03:56,235
whether to stay married
or get a divorce.
103
00:03:56,319 --> 00:04:00,313
♪ ♪
104
00:04:00,323 --> 00:04:01,406
- It's as we left it.
105
00:04:01,482 --> 00:04:04,734
♪ ♪
106
00:04:04,744 --> 00:04:07,913
I'm feeling pretty good overall
about this trip,
107
00:04:07,989 --> 00:04:13,001
but in terms of reconnecting
with Johnny, largely,
108
00:04:13,086 --> 00:04:16,255
we didn't interact much
at all throughout the weekend.
109
00:04:19,008 --> 00:04:20,884
How do you
feel the weekend went?
110
00:04:23,096 --> 00:04:25,755
- Um, it was good.
111
00:04:25,840 --> 00:04:27,340
- Yeah.
- It was a lot of fun.
112
00:04:27,425 --> 00:04:28,392
- Mm-hmm.
113
00:04:36,350 --> 00:04:39,019
- I'm gonna go shower.
- Okay.
114
00:04:39,028 --> 00:04:42,030
- ♪ It's so quiet here ♪
115
00:04:42,106 --> 00:04:45,442
- I know we agreed
to be on level one,
116
00:04:45,451 --> 00:04:46,943
but I connect on a deeper level
117
00:04:46,953 --> 00:04:48,453
and that is fulfilling for me.
118
00:04:48,529 --> 00:04:50,447
[indistinct]
119
00:04:50,456 --> 00:04:53,542
I've had level three
conversations on an airplane
120
00:04:53,617 --> 00:04:56,545
with a total stranger that were
more exciting than level one
121
00:04:56,620 --> 00:04:57,871
conversation with my husband.
122
00:04:57,880 --> 00:04:59,873
I don't want that.
[scoffs]
123
00:04:59,882 --> 00:05:02,125
- ♪ Can you get closer ♪
124
00:05:02,135 --> 00:05:04,970
♪ ♪
125
00:05:05,054 --> 00:05:09,466
- Oh no, you're so dying.
Oh, no.
126
00:05:09,475 --> 00:05:11,217
♪ ♪
127
00:05:11,227 --> 00:05:14,721
- ♪ Would you be open ♪
128
00:05:14,731 --> 00:05:17,149
- Okay, perk back up.
129
00:05:17,224 --> 00:05:21,653
- ♪ Would you be open
to a change of mind ♪
130
00:05:21,738 --> 00:05:28,618
♪ ♪
131
00:05:32,165 --> 00:05:34,240
- ♪ I didn't know,
I didn't know ♪
132
00:05:34,250 --> 00:05:37,669
♪ What you wanted ♪
133
00:05:37,745 --> 00:05:39,996
♪ But I need to know,
I need to know ♪
134
00:05:40,081 --> 00:05:42,749
♪ Yeah it haunts me ♪
135
00:05:42,759 --> 00:05:45,260
- I haven't spoken to Michaela
since the Couples Retreat.
136
00:05:45,336 --> 00:05:47,179
Hopefully, today,
I can get some more
137
00:05:47,254 --> 00:05:49,681
clarity with Dr. Pepper
and I actually requested
138
00:05:49,757 --> 00:05:52,675
that our conversations
with Dr. Pepper be separate.
139
00:05:52,685 --> 00:05:54,427
♪ ♪
140
00:05:54,512 --> 00:05:57,514
- So just so y'all know,
141
00:05:57,523 --> 00:05:59,941
Zackary has not talked to me
since he jetted off.
142
00:06:00,017 --> 00:06:02,361
I've reached out to him
and I've said nothing but,
143
00:06:02,436 --> 00:06:05,021
basically, I love you,
and I want us to work this out,
144
00:06:05,031 --> 00:06:08,024
and we can get through this,
and radio silent.
145
00:06:08,034 --> 00:06:10,610
I mean, radio silent
as if he didn't abandon me.
146
00:06:10,620 --> 00:06:11,870
[scoffs]
It's wild.
147
00:06:11,946 --> 00:06:13,113
♪ ♪
148
00:06:13,122 --> 00:06:14,697
- I got you some tea.
149
00:06:14,707 --> 00:06:16,375
- Thank you very much,
all right.
150
00:06:16,459 --> 00:06:20,045
♪ ♪
151
00:06:20,121 --> 00:06:21,880
So I gather
152
00:06:21,956 --> 00:06:24,716
to say that it hasn't been easy
is an understatement.
153
00:06:24,792 --> 00:06:26,551
- Mm-hmm.
Yeah, this has not been easy.
154
00:06:26,636 --> 00:06:29,054
- Have you spoken to Michaela?
- No.
155
00:06:29,130 --> 00:06:31,473
- Or texted her,
been texted to since then?
156
00:06:31,549 --> 00:06:34,810
- I have not spoken
with Michaela,
157
00:06:34,885 --> 00:06:37,479
but she has been texting me
nonstop.
158
00:06:37,555 --> 00:06:39,564
It's been like a whole ordeal.
159
00:06:39,640 --> 00:06:42,475
So the Couples Retreat,
we have a conversation
160
00:06:42,560 --> 00:06:44,727
and, essentially,
I was explaining my thought
161
00:06:44,737 --> 00:06:48,073
process behind getting a divorce
162
00:06:48,149 --> 00:06:50,158
and still possibly dating,
163
00:06:50,234 --> 00:06:52,994
which we were on the same page
with this the night before,
164
00:06:53,070 --> 00:06:54,496
like, we
were in a really good spot.
165
00:06:54,572 --> 00:06:56,656
And that's where she,
like, got upset.
166
00:06:56,666 --> 00:06:57,749
If we got a divorce, right,
167
00:06:57,834 --> 00:06:59,159
then we wouldn't
be married anymore,
168
00:06:59,243 --> 00:07:00,585
so then we would be
in different circumstances
169
00:07:00,661 --> 00:07:02,838
so we can see what
happens then. That's why.
170
00:07:02,922 --> 00:07:04,914
[dramatic music]
171
00:07:04,924 --> 00:07:08,093
- I can't, I can't, I can't!
I'm sorry, [bleep]!
172
00:07:08,177 --> 00:07:10,095
♪ ♪
173
00:07:10,179 --> 00:07:12,597
- And that was--
In that exact moment,
174
00:07:12,673 --> 00:07:16,435
I realized I am no longer
doing this with Michaela.
175
00:07:16,510 --> 00:07:19,179
- Honestly, I know
you've been through
176
00:07:19,188 --> 00:07:23,349
an enormous amount of emotions,
and I feel bad for you that
177
00:07:23,359 --> 00:07:25,435
it's been that hard,
I really do.
178
00:07:25,445 --> 00:07:28,188
I do want to see where there's
some learnings possible.
179
00:07:28,272 --> 00:07:29,939
- Right.
180
00:07:29,949 --> 00:07:32,033
- And to question you
on some stuff.
181
00:07:32,109 --> 00:07:34,861
- I understand that,
like, I'm not perfect,
182
00:07:34,871 --> 00:07:37,530
and I actually called
my ex-girlfriends to ask them
183
00:07:37,615 --> 00:07:40,366
how am I in conflict,
how do I handle conflict?
184
00:07:40,376 --> 00:07:41,534
They pretty much all
said the same thing,
185
00:07:41,619 --> 00:07:43,286
which is not surprising.
186
00:07:43,296 --> 00:07:45,622
You try to avoid it
and you never like when
187
00:07:45,631 --> 00:07:49,459
scenes are caused, like,
big, explosive moments.
188
00:07:49,469 --> 00:07:53,546
So my actions
should not be causing
189
00:07:53,556 --> 00:07:55,640
the reaction from Michaela.
190
00:07:58,469 --> 00:08:00,386
- Let me try and help you.
- Yeah.
191
00:08:00,471 --> 00:08:03,473
- What I'd like to do is
have you two hear each other
192
00:08:03,557 --> 00:08:05,400
with rules you both agree on,
193
00:08:05,476 --> 00:08:08,394
and listen
to each other's feelings,
194
00:08:08,479 --> 00:08:13,066
and stop it if any
of the ground rules are broken.
195
00:08:13,075 --> 00:08:15,744
[soft dramatic music]
196
00:08:15,819 --> 00:08:19,164
- I'm not there yet,
I can't--I just can't.
197
00:08:19,240 --> 00:08:21,741
- Well, before you make
that absolute decision,
198
00:08:21,751 --> 00:08:24,827
let me plead my case
a little bit, okay?
199
00:08:24,837 --> 00:08:27,914
What we haven't done
is with me in the middle.
200
00:08:27,998 --> 00:08:30,842
- Okay, that's true.
- What if we triangulate that?
201
00:08:30,927 --> 00:08:34,596
You talk to me,
I explain it to her,
202
00:08:34,672 --> 00:08:38,758
she talks to me,
I explain it to you.
203
00:08:38,768 --> 00:08:44,013
- I'm--I'm down, I agree.
204
00:08:44,023 --> 00:08:48,184
- It's really important
for Michaela and Zack
205
00:08:48,194 --> 00:08:50,436
to be able to discuss
what happened together.
206
00:08:50,446 --> 00:08:52,864
Come on in, please sit down.
207
00:08:52,940 --> 00:08:54,699
They are still married.
208
00:08:54,775 --> 00:08:59,204
They need to understand
what happened, why it happened,
209
00:08:59,280 --> 00:09:03,041
and each of them have a chance
to say how it affected them.
210
00:09:03,117 --> 00:09:07,295
So why don't you tell me how
you've been feeling and what
211
00:09:07,380 --> 00:09:09,965
you'd like Zack to understand
about where you're at.
212
00:09:10,049 --> 00:09:12,041
- Zack left me.
213
00:09:12,051 --> 00:09:13,969
- When was that? Are you
talking about at the retreat?
214
00:09:14,044 --> 00:09:16,888
- Yes ma'am,
and I said please don't leave,
215
00:09:16,964 --> 00:09:20,475
please, and he still left.
216
00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:23,728
As you know, abandonment
is one of my biggest triggers.
217
00:09:23,804 --> 00:09:26,472
[dramatic music]
218
00:09:26,482 --> 00:09:29,392
And with him knowing that I
219
00:09:29,402 --> 00:09:31,978
have these issues
with abandonment
220
00:09:31,988 --> 00:09:37,409
and that that was a fear state
for me, like, him leaving--
221
00:09:37,484 --> 00:09:41,154
Him leaving, like, Zack, can
you please, like, not do that?
222
00:09:41,238 --> 00:09:44,833
And then he does it in such
a big and explosive way.
223
00:09:44,908 --> 00:09:46,418
That was hard--
That was hard on me.
224
00:09:46,493 --> 00:09:49,337
♪ ♪
225
00:09:49,413 --> 00:09:53,666
And even with that, I decided,
226
00:09:53,676 --> 00:09:57,086
okay, something got us there.
227
00:09:57,096 --> 00:09:59,339
I don't want to do that
anymore ever again.
228
00:09:59,348 --> 00:10:03,018
And we both need time to think
and manage our feelings and,
229
00:10:03,093 --> 00:10:05,511
you know,
figure out where we are.
230
00:10:05,521 --> 00:10:07,689
I reached out to him and I told
him--I said, "Zack, I love you,
231
00:10:07,765 --> 00:10:10,516
"I understand
we have challenges,
232
00:10:10,601 --> 00:10:12,185
but I don't want--
I don't want to lose you."
233
00:10:12,194 --> 00:10:14,362
No response.
234
00:10:14,438 --> 00:10:18,450
And it's heartbreaking because
235
00:10:18,525 --> 00:10:22,779
it's like, I've tried,
and I've tried, and I've tried.
236
00:10:22,788 --> 00:10:26,041
At this point, it's like, I've--
237
00:10:26,116 --> 00:10:28,951
I've thrown a Hail Mary and...
238
00:10:28,961 --> 00:10:32,038
♪ ♪
239
00:10:32,048 --> 00:10:34,290
There's nothing else I can do.
240
00:10:34,300 --> 00:10:38,127
- So Zack,
241
00:10:38,212 --> 00:10:40,713
what Michaela's saying is that
242
00:10:40,723 --> 00:10:44,809
she is in love with you.
243
00:10:44,885 --> 00:10:48,221
Her perspective is she
did ask you not to leave,
244
00:10:48,305 --> 00:10:52,141
you left,
245
00:10:52,151 --> 00:10:54,486
which was extremely difficult
for her.
246
00:10:54,561 --> 00:11:00,241
I think that is the core
of what she was saying.
247
00:11:00,317 --> 00:11:01,993
What's your response to that?
248
00:11:05,665 --> 00:11:07,582
- So you're not going
to ride back with me tomorrow?
249
00:11:07,658 --> 00:11:09,167
If that's the case, then
I'm going to leave tonight.
250
00:11:09,243 --> 00:11:10,669
- Good, bye.
251
00:11:10,753 --> 00:11:11,828
- No, no,
I was making sure you--
252
00:11:11,912 --> 00:11:13,338
- Good, bye.
- No, I came with you, I--
253
00:11:13,414 --> 00:11:16,341
- Ah-ah!
Go home now. Bye.
254
00:11:16,425 --> 00:11:18,426
♪ ♪
255
00:11:18,502 --> 00:11:21,921
- I cannot
say anything right now.
256
00:11:21,931 --> 00:11:23,339
I can just listen right now.
257
00:11:23,349 --> 00:11:26,008
- Okay.
258
00:11:26,018 --> 00:11:30,930
- My interaction with Zack is
that he's found a lot of these
259
00:11:30,940 --> 00:11:33,108
past weeks very traumatic
260
00:11:33,183 --> 00:11:38,438
and that part of it
is what he feels
261
00:11:38,447 --> 00:11:42,275
are the explosiveness
of your reactions, getting up,
262
00:11:42,284 --> 00:11:46,279
yelling, using a lot
of language,
263
00:11:46,288 --> 00:11:48,707
high drama.
264
00:11:48,782 --> 00:11:53,545
- Honestly, Dr. Pepper, Zack
tries to paint me out to be
265
00:11:53,629 --> 00:11:56,706
this crazy, inconsistent person.
266
00:11:56,716 --> 00:11:58,883
He really does.
267
00:11:58,959 --> 00:12:04,213
He says that I have these
reactions, he has no--
268
00:12:04,223 --> 00:12:07,800
He has no evidence of me
reacting in a bad way to him.
269
00:12:07,810 --> 00:12:10,562
[music fades]
270
00:12:10,646 --> 00:12:12,897
- So Zack--
271
00:12:12,973 --> 00:12:14,232
- Before...
272
00:12:14,308 --> 00:12:15,984
- Sorry?
273
00:12:16,059 --> 00:12:21,573
- Before you get into that,
I've reached my limit.
274
00:12:21,648 --> 00:12:23,324
Hopefully one day we
can have a conversation,
275
00:12:23,400 --> 00:12:27,153
but today is not that day.
276
00:12:27,237 --> 00:12:30,415
I tried my best.
I have to leave. Thank you.
277
00:12:30,499 --> 00:12:33,585
♪ ♪
278
00:12:33,669 --> 00:12:35,411
- ♪ When you go downstream ♪
279
00:12:35,421 --> 00:12:36,838
♪ Clench your fists
and breathe ♪
280
00:12:36,914 --> 00:12:39,507
♪ Will you even make a sound ♪
281
00:12:39,583 --> 00:12:41,843
♪ When it all comes out ♪
282
00:12:49,268 --> 00:12:53,095
- [sighs]
283
00:12:53,105 --> 00:12:55,857
This is a prime example
of how he literally
284
00:12:55,933 --> 00:13:00,019
always abandons me.
Prime example.
285
00:13:00,103 --> 00:13:02,447
Even when there's somebody
who is non-threatening,
286
00:13:02,523 --> 00:13:04,616
you still leave a situation.
287
00:13:04,691 --> 00:13:07,026
So is it really me?
288
00:13:07,036 --> 00:13:11,030
What confuses me about that,
Dr. Pepper, is he says that
289
00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:14,793
I overreact, you're this way,
you react this way, you don't,
290
00:13:14,868 --> 00:13:17,378
you know, that you do
these explosive things.
291
00:13:17,454 --> 00:13:19,380
- Do you think you don't?
292
00:13:19,456 --> 00:13:22,300
- I think I can.
293
00:13:22,376 --> 00:13:23,793
- There's been some ugly scenes.
294
00:13:23,803 --> 00:13:25,553
- Mm-hmm.
295
00:13:25,629 --> 00:13:29,382
- What do you regret that,
if you could rerun them
296
00:13:29,466 --> 00:13:32,477
and do them differently,
what would they be?
297
00:13:32,553 --> 00:13:35,230
- The scene that I regret
is having a panic attack
298
00:13:35,314 --> 00:13:39,058
watching him drive off even
though I couldn't help that.
299
00:13:39,068 --> 00:13:41,143
- Please let me leave.
300
00:13:41,153 --> 00:13:43,071
I'm not mad, I'm gonna
be very happy on the way home,
301
00:13:43,146 --> 00:13:44,572
just let me--thank you, damn.
302
00:13:46,742 --> 00:13:49,661
[tense music]
303
00:13:49,736 --> 00:13:54,082
[crashing]
304
00:13:58,003 --> 00:14:00,672
- Get out--get out!
305
00:14:02,925 --> 00:14:04,092
[door slams]
306
00:14:07,838 --> 00:14:10,089
I felt...
307
00:14:10,099 --> 00:14:13,259
[soft dramatic music]
308
00:14:13,269 --> 00:14:17,930
So scared, so abandoned,
309
00:14:17,940 --> 00:14:20,016
so terrified,
310
00:14:20,025 --> 00:14:23,936
so traumatized, so mad,
311
00:14:23,946 --> 00:14:26,022
and I haven't had--
312
00:14:26,031 --> 00:14:30,776
Have not had that kind
of feeling since my dad died.
313
00:14:30,786 --> 00:14:32,370
♪ ♪
314
00:14:32,446 --> 00:14:35,957
I was so afraid...
315
00:14:36,041 --> 00:14:39,535
of him leaving.
316
00:14:39,545 --> 00:14:42,955
In my head, him leaving,
him getting on the road,
317
00:14:42,965 --> 00:14:45,541
that equaled death to me.
318
00:14:45,551 --> 00:14:48,377
And I didn't see what
could we could have talked
319
00:14:48,387 --> 00:14:50,471
about inside of that
bedroom that would make
320
00:14:50,547 --> 00:14:54,300
him get inside that car
and leave.
321
00:14:54,384 --> 00:14:56,895
- Well, the realities of that
situation was there's a lot
322
00:14:56,970 --> 00:14:59,722
of explosion on both sides,
but at this point,
323
00:14:59,732 --> 00:15:02,901
Zack, he cannot cope
with the mismatch
324
00:15:02,976 --> 00:15:05,811
on how the two of you
emotionally react.
325
00:15:05,821 --> 00:15:08,230
♪ ♪
326
00:15:08,240 --> 00:15:10,575
I really,
really want you to work
327
00:15:10,651 --> 00:15:15,071
on the reactions you have.
328
00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:18,666
I know that your loss
of your father is tragic
329
00:15:18,742 --> 00:15:22,503
and I also know that
that triggered a lot of those
330
00:15:22,579 --> 00:15:26,082
feelings and sent you
in a panic that you regret,
331
00:15:26,166 --> 00:15:28,668
but I think you have to work
332
00:15:28,677 --> 00:15:32,254
on not projecting that loss
333
00:15:32,264 --> 00:15:35,350
on other issues
in a given relationship
334
00:15:35,425 --> 00:15:40,012
so you don't desert
what you mostly want,
335
00:15:40,022 --> 00:15:42,941
you know?
- Mm-hmm.
336
00:15:43,025 --> 00:15:44,767
- Does that sound like
a good idea?
337
00:15:44,777 --> 00:15:46,769
- That sounds like
a good idea, yeah.
338
00:15:46,779 --> 00:15:48,196
- Okay.
339
00:15:51,200 --> 00:15:54,860
[upbeat music]
340
00:15:54,870 --> 00:15:55,703
- You sure
you don't want to drive?
341
00:15:55,788 --> 00:15:57,538
- I'm positive.
342
00:15:57,614 --> 00:15:59,707
- My cousin actually
lived in here
343
00:15:59,792 --> 00:16:01,626
and that boy had to sleep
with a gun under his pillow.
344
00:16:01,702 --> 00:16:03,044
- Oh!
345
00:16:03,120 --> 00:16:04,787
- Are you a neighborhood kid,
346
00:16:04,797 --> 00:16:05,871
you were
always out on the street?
347
00:16:05,881 --> 00:16:07,632
- I was, yeah.
348
00:16:07,708 --> 00:16:09,959
- Every couple is on their
own unique marriage journey,
349
00:16:10,043 --> 00:16:12,804
but with less than two
weeks left until Decision Day,
350
00:16:12,879 --> 00:16:16,215
it's our job as experts to help
their relationships progress.
351
00:16:16,225 --> 00:16:18,142
- This is where you grew up?
352
00:16:18,218 --> 00:16:20,970
- This is where I lived
up 'til, like, a few years ago.
353
00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:23,147
- This week,
we've asked our couples
354
00:16:23,223 --> 00:16:25,307
to return to their roots
and share some of their
355
00:16:25,317 --> 00:16:27,727
childhood experiences
with their spouse.
356
00:16:27,736 --> 00:16:30,312
- You look so different.
357
00:16:30,322 --> 00:16:32,231
- We've also encouraged
each person
358
00:16:32,315 --> 00:16:33,825
to write a letter
to their younger self
359
00:16:33,900 --> 00:16:36,244
at a significant point
in their life.
360
00:16:36,328 --> 00:16:38,997
The goal is to build more
emotional intimacy
361
00:16:39,072 --> 00:16:41,907
by revealing something
vulnerable about themselves,
362
00:16:41,917 --> 00:16:43,492
and learning about their past
363
00:16:43,502 --> 00:16:45,494
will help them answer some
of the questions
364
00:16:45,504 --> 00:16:49,173
they still have about their
present and their future.
365
00:16:49,249 --> 00:16:51,676
- I brought some--
Some childhood photos.
366
00:16:54,430 --> 00:16:57,348
- What? [laughs]
- [laughs]
367
00:16:57,424 --> 00:16:59,934
That was a little Jeep that
me and my cousins all shared.
368
00:17:00,019 --> 00:17:02,020
So Andy's one of the cousins
that lived down the street,
369
00:17:02,104 --> 00:17:03,012
he's the guy at my wedding
that gave the speech.
370
00:17:03,022 --> 00:17:04,605
- Mm-hmm.
371
00:17:04,681 --> 00:17:05,848
- And here we are again.
This is my grandma.
372
00:17:05,858 --> 00:17:07,349
- Mm-hmm.
373
00:17:07,359 --> 00:17:08,776
- And my great grandma,
my cousins,
374
00:17:08,852 --> 00:17:10,853
we all grew up together.
375
00:17:10,937 --> 00:17:13,189
We spent, at a minimum, Friday,
Saturday, and Sunday together.
376
00:17:13,198 --> 00:17:14,949
[chuckles]
All of us as babies.
377
00:17:15,025 --> 00:17:17,693
- Oh, my God, this is adorable.
378
00:17:17,703 --> 00:17:20,038
Oh.
379
00:17:20,113 --> 00:17:22,874
- Picture of me,
my mom and dad, my sister.
380
00:17:22,958 --> 00:17:27,128
- Oh, wow.
Any memories of your dad here?
381
00:17:27,212 --> 00:17:29,622
- Some.
Uh...
382
00:17:29,631 --> 00:17:34,052
actually, a lot of those
memories were not--not happy.
383
00:17:34,136 --> 00:17:36,212
I have daddy issues.
I admit it.
384
00:17:36,221 --> 00:17:39,215
And I mean, some
of these things that I've got
385
00:17:39,224 --> 00:17:41,717
are because I had
386
00:17:41,727 --> 00:17:44,804
a parent actually get removed
from the picture.
387
00:17:44,813 --> 00:17:47,899
Not having a dad in the house
to just show you everything,
388
00:17:47,974 --> 00:17:50,142
like how to be a man,
how to be a husband,
389
00:17:50,152 --> 00:17:51,560
it was very difficult.
390
00:17:51,570 --> 00:17:52,987
Maybe I have
certain deficiencies
391
00:17:53,063 --> 00:17:55,648
that are stemming from that.
392
00:17:55,657 --> 00:17:58,576
My dad inadvertently shaped me
393
00:17:58,652 --> 00:18:01,079
without being that involved
in my childhood.
394
00:18:01,154 --> 00:18:04,740
I've written my little
letter to myself.
395
00:18:04,750 --> 00:18:05,825
If you hang on to this,
I'll read it to you.
396
00:18:05,834 --> 00:18:07,585
- Okay, sure.
397
00:18:07,661 --> 00:18:09,504
- S'up kiddo?
I write to you from the future.
398
00:18:09,579 --> 00:18:11,255
Should I
start with the bad news?
399
00:18:11,331 --> 00:18:15,009
Well, you're not
a bajillionaire and sorry,
400
00:18:15,094 --> 00:18:17,586
hoverboards and lightsabers
aren't a thing just yet.
401
00:18:17,596 --> 00:18:20,515
Good news,
you're happy, healthy,
402
00:18:20,590 --> 00:18:22,266
and you find yourself
surrounded by a lot
403
00:18:22,351 --> 00:18:24,510
of incredible people
who care about you.
404
00:18:24,594 --> 00:18:28,013
It wasn't easy getting
to this point, though.
405
00:18:28,023 --> 00:18:30,608
Boy, I remember these days.
You were not a happy kid.
406
00:18:30,684 --> 00:18:33,185
Sadness, jealousy,
anger, not only are
407
00:18:33,195 --> 00:18:34,529
those paths to the dark side,
408
00:18:34,604 --> 00:18:37,115
it's just no way to live, amigo.
409
00:18:37,190 --> 00:18:39,608
You may never have the coolest
toy car or superhero action
410
00:18:39,618 --> 00:18:41,777
figure in your hands,
stylish clothes on your back,
411
00:18:41,787 --> 00:18:44,872
or newest kicks on your feet,
but you do have a
412
00:18:44,948 --> 00:18:48,042
devoted mother,
giving up her own personal
413
00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:50,711
dreams and ambitions,
to ensure she can provide
414
00:18:50,787 --> 00:18:53,372
for you and your sister the
life she never got to have.
415
00:18:53,382 --> 00:18:55,291
Love and appreciate her
for this,
416
00:18:55,300 --> 00:18:56,968
don't hate that you can't have
417
00:18:57,052 --> 00:18:58,627
all the things you want
right now.
418
00:18:58,637 --> 00:19:00,546
Ooh, all right.
419
00:19:00,556 --> 00:19:04,633
Forgive your father.
420
00:19:04,718 --> 00:19:06,218
When you see other
kids playing ball at
421
00:19:06,228 --> 00:19:07,812
the park with their dads...
422
00:19:07,896 --> 00:19:13,151
♪ ♪
423
00:19:13,226 --> 00:19:15,570
Family dinners when
you go out to eat,
424
00:19:15,645 --> 00:19:18,731
his absence is his choice,
but it isn't his fault.
425
00:19:18,740 --> 00:19:22,902
Not all marriages work out.
426
00:19:22,911 --> 00:19:24,662
End of the day,
don't sweat about not belonging
427
00:19:24,738 --> 00:19:28,666
to a typical family of dad,
mom, 2.5 kids
428
00:19:28,742 --> 00:19:31,911
'cause I'll tell you what:
you have something even better,
429
00:19:31,920 --> 00:19:34,997
a village, and someday you'll
look back and realize you're
430
00:19:35,007 --> 00:19:36,340
a product of all the people
431
00:19:36,416 --> 00:19:37,166
who committed
their time and love
432
00:19:37,250 --> 00:19:39,093
touching your life.
433
00:19:39,178 --> 00:19:43,181
And man, that guy--
That guy has everything.
434
00:19:43,256 --> 00:19:46,342
- That's awesome, how does
that feel to share all of that?
435
00:19:46,426 --> 00:19:48,769
- It feels good.
- Yeah?
436
00:19:48,854 --> 00:19:51,355
- What do you feel was like the
breaking point for your mom,
437
00:19:51,431 --> 00:19:54,108
where she's like, I've had
enough, this is the final...
438
00:19:54,184 --> 00:19:56,268
- I don't know.
- Final straw.
439
00:19:56,278 --> 00:19:58,270
- If it were up to my dad,
they'd still be married today.
440
00:19:58,355 --> 00:19:59,947
- Yeah?
441
00:20:00,023 --> 00:20:02,358
- My dad did this one
last-ditch effort of
442
00:20:02,367 --> 00:20:06,195
flying me, my sister,
and my mom out to LA.
443
00:20:06,205 --> 00:20:07,705
He had found this
one nice, little house
444
00:20:07,781 --> 00:20:10,366
in a little LA suburb.
445
00:20:10,375 --> 00:20:12,284
And he said, "I'm going
to buy this house for us.
446
00:20:12,294 --> 00:20:15,621
Can we start over?"
- Mm-hmm.
447
00:20:15,631 --> 00:20:19,550
- But my mom didn't want to.
448
00:20:19,626 --> 00:20:23,462
She told my dad
never to come back again.
449
00:20:23,472 --> 00:20:25,389
[soft dramatic music]
450
00:20:25,465 --> 00:20:27,549
And he has not been back
to Texas.
451
00:20:27,559 --> 00:20:31,553
- ♪ I'm praying for an angel
to come ♪
452
00:20:31,563 --> 00:20:37,142
♪ I'm waiting for a star
to fall ♪
453
00:20:37,152 --> 00:20:39,487
- There's definitely a lot of
shame associated with getting
454
00:20:39,571 --> 00:20:42,490
divorced--that just doesn't
happen in Asian households.
455
00:20:42,574 --> 00:20:44,659
But I am so proud of my mom
for doing it
456
00:20:44,743 --> 00:20:48,821
because she deserved better,
but just viewing my parents'
457
00:20:48,905 --> 00:20:52,491
relationship and how
my dad eats every day,
458
00:20:52,575 --> 00:20:57,672
every meal by himself,
that is a lonely life,
459
00:20:57,747 --> 00:21:00,082
but that's
not the life that I want.
460
00:21:00,092 --> 00:21:03,419
I do want a life partner
and I really feel like
461
00:21:03,428 --> 00:21:07,256
I should be happily married
and, for whatever reason,
462
00:21:07,340 --> 00:21:11,510
I'm not, and I want to be.
463
00:21:11,520 --> 00:21:13,012
♪ ♪
464
00:21:13,096 --> 00:21:16,691
Man, I want that so bad.
465
00:21:16,775 --> 00:21:19,768
- Well, thank you so much
for sharing all this with me.
466
00:21:19,778 --> 00:21:22,780
It means a lot and it gives me
a better idea
467
00:21:22,856 --> 00:21:26,025
of how you became
who you are now.
468
00:21:26,034 --> 00:21:28,202
♪ ♪
469
00:21:28,278 --> 00:21:30,746
- ♪ You know the damage
is done ♪
470
00:21:35,210 --> 00:21:38,120
[upbeat music]
471
00:21:38,130 --> 00:21:41,457
♪ ♪
472
00:21:41,466 --> 00:21:43,384
- All right,
so these two apartments
473
00:21:43,460 --> 00:21:45,210
were the worst apartments.
474
00:21:45,295 --> 00:21:49,640
Your car would get
broken into every other day.
475
00:21:49,725 --> 00:21:50,883
- Look, they're hanging
all their clothes
476
00:21:50,892 --> 00:21:53,969
outside like in the village.
477
00:21:54,054 --> 00:21:56,564
- It feels a little weird
being back here because it's
478
00:21:56,639 --> 00:22:01,977
been about 22 years
since I've been here.
479
00:22:01,987 --> 00:22:05,647
Anytime we share our
childhood memories,
480
00:22:05,657 --> 00:22:08,743
it opens the door to who we are,
481
00:22:08,818 --> 00:22:11,078
and this is what
I'm doing today with my wife
482
00:22:11,163 --> 00:22:15,240
so she can kind of see who I am
or how I am the way I am.
483
00:22:15,250 --> 00:22:19,837
I used to get into fights
mostly in there, mainly because
484
00:22:19,913 --> 00:22:24,008
we used to play basketball,
you know, a shopping cart?
485
00:22:24,084 --> 00:22:27,336
We used to flip it over
and hang it on a gate
486
00:22:27,420 --> 00:22:29,430
and that's what we'd hoop at.
- Okay.
487
00:22:29,506 --> 00:22:32,591
- And so obviously, kids,
we used to get into fights
488
00:22:32,675 --> 00:22:35,770
over basketball games
or just people, you know,
489
00:22:35,845 --> 00:22:37,855
people talking noise, bullying.
490
00:22:37,931 --> 00:22:40,182
I hung out with
a pretty rough crowd.
491
00:22:40,266 --> 00:22:43,018
I was doing stuff
with my friends that,
492
00:22:43,028 --> 00:22:44,686
mm, looking back on it,
493
00:22:44,696 --> 00:22:45,696
I don't think we should
have been doing that stuff.
494
00:22:45,772 --> 00:22:48,023
[laughter]
495
00:22:48,108 --> 00:22:50,442
But, um, it's cool, it's cool.
496
00:22:50,452 --> 00:22:55,114
And so that is my apartment.
497
00:22:55,123 --> 00:22:57,866
Well, that's where I grew up,
and that's
498
00:22:57,876 --> 00:23:02,621
actually the apartment
where my dad was shot.
499
00:23:02,705 --> 00:23:04,706
If you walk in the apartment,
as soon as you open
500
00:23:04,716 --> 00:23:06,875
the door,
it's the living room, right,
501
00:23:06,885 --> 00:23:09,970
and there was a couch
on the right hand side.
502
00:23:10,046 --> 00:23:12,973
Well, I was sleeping
on that couch
503
00:23:13,049 --> 00:23:15,059
when they kicked in the door.
504
00:23:15,135 --> 00:23:16,969
So literally,
they kicked in the door
505
00:23:16,978 --> 00:23:18,971
and they walked right past me.
506
00:23:18,980 --> 00:23:23,067
And they hit that corner and
then my dad opened the door,
507
00:23:23,143 --> 00:23:26,562
and when he opened the door,
he saw the guys.
508
00:23:26,571 --> 00:23:28,230
He saw them and then he
closed the door, and then he
509
00:23:28,240 --> 00:23:30,324
put us back to the door
510
00:23:30,400 --> 00:23:34,069
and the guy shot at the door.
511
00:23:34,079 --> 00:23:36,747
Like, it was like six
or seven bullets and like,
512
00:23:36,832 --> 00:23:39,750
one of them hit my dad
in the neck.
513
00:23:39,826 --> 00:23:42,995
And then he ran off,
so that's when I called 911.
514
00:23:43,079 --> 00:23:45,581
I remember being in the back
of the ambulance,
515
00:23:45,590 --> 00:23:48,843
but I don't--it was
so much commotion going on.
516
00:23:48,918 --> 00:23:53,013
I remember the medics,
you know, stopping--
517
00:23:53,089 --> 00:23:55,591
Stopping the bleed,
wrapping him up,
518
00:23:55,675 --> 00:23:58,677
and we was just hauling.
And um...
519
00:23:58,687 --> 00:24:00,762
I was sitting there
in the waiting room
520
00:24:00,772 --> 00:24:03,941
and then like, maybe 20 minutes,
521
00:24:04,017 --> 00:24:06,527
the doctor came and told me,
you know, your dad passed.
522
00:24:06,603 --> 00:24:08,612
And I was like, okay.
523
00:24:11,608 --> 00:24:13,358
I didn't know--I didn't
know how to react to that,
524
00:24:13,368 --> 00:24:15,527
like, I was kind of like--
- Well, you were young, so...
525
00:24:15,612 --> 00:24:18,622
- I was like, "Okay,"
like it didn't even hit me.
526
00:24:18,707 --> 00:24:22,284
It didn't hit me
for like two weeks.
527
00:24:22,368 --> 00:24:24,879
- Although we both lost our
fathers, you know, losing your
528
00:24:24,954 --> 00:24:26,705
father when you're young, you
still need your father to be
529
00:24:26,715 --> 00:24:28,540
around and a role model,
530
00:24:28,625 --> 00:24:31,960
and I know how traumatic
it was for me
531
00:24:32,045 --> 00:24:35,055
so I appreciate him sharing
that specific experience.
532
00:24:35,131 --> 00:24:37,299
It is really nice to see
where your roots are, like,
533
00:24:37,309 --> 00:24:40,469
where you grew up, and where,
like, life molded you.
534
00:24:40,479 --> 00:24:44,231
- I've told people the story
of my dad passing away,
535
00:24:44,307 --> 00:24:49,820
but I've
never brought anybody here.
536
00:24:49,896 --> 00:24:52,814
Never, like,
you're the very first person.
537
00:24:52,824 --> 00:24:55,826
We all have
experiences in our past that
538
00:24:55,902 --> 00:24:59,997
might be challenging
to talk to someone with.
539
00:25:00,081 --> 00:25:02,241
But, you know,
one of the reasons why I
540
00:25:02,250 --> 00:25:04,409
decided I wanted to be
married at first sight is so I
541
00:25:04,494 --> 00:25:06,161
could find somebody that
542
00:25:06,171 --> 00:25:08,172
I could be able to talk to,
and feel
543
00:25:08,248 --> 00:25:10,841
comfortable with, and have
those tough conversations and
544
00:25:10,917 --> 00:25:14,512
hope that they can empathize
with me and be there for me.
545
00:25:14,587 --> 00:25:17,848
Damn, I always wonder about
how my life would have been
546
00:25:17,924 --> 00:25:19,925
if he was still alive.
547
00:25:20,009 --> 00:25:22,019
Like, it would have been
different, for sure.
548
00:25:22,103 --> 00:25:25,430
♪ ♪
549
00:25:25,440 --> 00:25:28,016
- ♪ Turn on it loud ♪
550
00:25:28,101 --> 00:25:32,196
♪ Turn on it loud ♪
551
00:25:32,272 --> 00:25:35,783
♪ Make amends,
it's gonna be all right ♪
552
00:25:35,858 --> 00:25:38,527
- So this is it,
this is my house.
553
00:25:38,537 --> 00:25:40,279
So this evening,
I'm bringing Rachel here
554
00:25:40,288 --> 00:25:42,039
to one of my childhood homes.
555
00:25:42,115 --> 00:25:46,368
This is where I grew up, you
know, this is part of my life.
556
00:25:46,378 --> 00:25:47,294
Things have definitely changed,
557
00:25:47,370 --> 00:25:49,296
it looks a lot different,
558
00:25:49,372 --> 00:25:52,049
the trees are a lot larger,
but years ago, my parents had
559
00:25:52,125 --> 00:25:54,385
the vision of, "Hey, we're
gonna build a house together,"
560
00:25:54,460 --> 00:25:57,304
and what I want to share
with my wife, now,
561
00:25:57,389 --> 00:25:59,473
in our marriage, is what I saw,
and that's teamwork.
562
00:25:59,549 --> 00:26:01,049
You know,
I think the whole reason why
563
00:26:01,059 --> 00:26:02,801
my parents moved here is because
564
00:26:02,811 --> 00:26:04,812
the Pearland school district
was good and so they're like,
565
00:26:04,887 --> 00:26:06,647
you know,
we're gonna move to Pearland,
566
00:26:06,731 --> 00:26:08,223
and you're gonna go to,
you know, go to school and get
567
00:26:08,233 --> 00:26:11,318
good grades, and be in sports
and stay out of trouble.
568
00:26:11,394 --> 00:26:13,237
It was significant enough for us
569
00:26:13,313 --> 00:26:16,407
to know that, oh, our parents
want us to succeed.
570
00:26:16,482 --> 00:26:18,325
Fast forward, my sister--
We both have degrees,
571
00:26:18,401 --> 00:26:20,569
we're both very educated
and, I mean,
572
00:26:20,579 --> 00:26:24,239
they sacrificed a lot, too,
to build this house.
573
00:26:24,249 --> 00:26:26,908
- I didn't know that
it was built, you know,
574
00:26:26,918 --> 00:26:28,744
from the ground up so
I mean, this house is
575
00:26:28,753 --> 00:26:32,256
kind of a reflection
of your parents' taste.
576
00:26:32,332 --> 00:26:36,168
Even though both our parents
are separated and divorced,
577
00:26:36,177 --> 00:26:40,505
we both experienced a good,
wholesome family times and we
578
00:26:40,590 --> 00:26:44,092
know what--when it's good,
what it looks like,
579
00:26:44,177 --> 00:26:48,105
what it should look like, so at
least we had that to look back.
580
00:26:48,189 --> 00:26:51,350
So no, I really appreciate
you bringing me here.
581
00:26:51,359 --> 00:26:53,101
- So you want to go inside?
582
00:26:53,111 --> 00:26:55,613
- Oh yeah, yeah.
- Let's go check it out.
583
00:26:55,688 --> 00:26:58,449
[upbeat music]
584
00:26:58,524 --> 00:27:00,359
I remember my sister
wanted to go to take these.
585
00:27:00,443 --> 00:27:02,277
- Oh, my gosh.
586
00:27:02,362 --> 00:27:04,455
- These little glamour
shots--of course,
587
00:27:04,539 --> 00:27:06,531
I didn't have a beard either,
so...
588
00:27:06,616 --> 00:27:08,125
- You were starting to,
you know, peach fuzz.
589
00:27:08,209 --> 00:27:09,543
- Yeah,
I got a little peach fuzz.
590
00:27:09,619 --> 00:27:11,045
Got a little peach fuzz, yeah.
591
00:27:11,120 --> 00:27:14,623
- Oh, my God,
you looked so cool.
592
00:27:14,633 --> 00:27:16,458
How old were you there?
593
00:27:16,468 --> 00:27:17,968
- I have my ears pierced
then so I don't know,
594
00:27:18,044 --> 00:27:19,044
I guess I was like...
595
00:27:19,054 --> 00:27:21,138
- You had your ears pierced?
596
00:27:21,214 --> 00:27:22,798
- Yeah, matter of fact,
you know the story about that?
597
00:27:22,882 --> 00:27:24,716
I did it myself in this house.
- [sighs]
598
00:27:24,801 --> 00:27:27,135
- I was in--
I was in third, fourth grade.
599
00:27:27,145 --> 00:27:29,054
I pierced it with a needle here.
600
00:27:29,064 --> 00:27:30,147
It was funny because I did it
601
00:27:30,231 --> 00:27:31,231
and then one
of the neighborhood kids
602
00:27:31,307 --> 00:27:32,733
tried to do it too,
and he couldn't.
603
00:27:32,817 --> 00:27:34,142
- Oh, no.
- Yeah.
604
00:27:34,152 --> 00:27:35,811
- Oh, yeah, yeah, so...
605
00:27:35,820 --> 00:27:38,322
- That was a thing.
- So yeah, I guess like...
606
00:27:38,398 --> 00:27:41,149
- The parts that I'm enjoying
the most is really seeing
607
00:27:41,159 --> 00:27:46,488
the pictures and, you know,
which pictures made the frames.
608
00:27:46,498 --> 00:27:49,750
I always feel, you know
if a picture is framed,
609
00:27:49,834 --> 00:27:52,169
it must mean something
more than, you know,
610
00:27:52,245 --> 00:27:54,004
all your other pictures,
611
00:27:54,080 --> 00:27:56,581
and I love behind every picture
he is sharing a story.
612
00:27:56,666 --> 00:27:59,677
So what were, like,
typical meals during the week?
613
00:27:59,752 --> 00:28:02,587
- So you know, we weren't
like super well off, of course,
614
00:28:02,597 --> 00:28:05,099
mind you, we just built this
house so we didn't have much
615
00:28:05,174 --> 00:28:08,352
money right?
So we ate rice and beans like
616
00:28:08,436 --> 00:28:12,940
every single day because
we were not very well off.
617
00:28:13,015 --> 00:28:14,692
It's like hey,
you can get a bunch
618
00:28:14,776 --> 00:28:16,360
of rice
and a bunch of beans for,
619
00:28:16,436 --> 00:28:18,946
like, pretty cheap,
and you can eat that all week.
620
00:28:19,021 --> 00:28:23,283
- Eating rice and beans made
you feel like, oh, this is what
621
00:28:23,368 --> 00:28:26,695
we have to eat because
maybe there's not enough money?
622
00:28:26,705 --> 00:28:30,449
I never saw rice and beans as,
like, not having money thing,
623
00:28:30,533 --> 00:28:32,868
it was just like, oh,
624
00:28:32,952 --> 00:28:36,872
we're being really Hispanic
right now.
625
00:28:36,956 --> 00:28:38,632
You know,
like, this is what, you know,
626
00:28:38,708 --> 00:28:41,802
my culture eats and that's okay.
627
00:28:43,463 --> 00:28:47,048
Something that I found
just a little surprising is
628
00:28:47,058 --> 00:28:50,978
he felt he didn't have
a lot growing up because
629
00:28:51,053 --> 00:28:53,305
I've always viewed it
630
00:28:53,314 --> 00:28:57,559
if you have a house-house,
that's having a lot, you know?
631
00:28:57,569 --> 00:29:01,572
So it gets me wondering,
what is he comparing this to?
632
00:29:01,656 --> 00:29:04,324
What does it look
to have everything,
633
00:29:04,400 --> 00:29:05,909
you know, that you want?
634
00:29:05,994 --> 00:29:08,579
♪ ♪
635
00:29:14,419 --> 00:29:17,755
- ♪ I can't sleep at night,
no ♪
636
00:29:17,839 --> 00:29:23,418
♪ Waiting for the background
of my mind to quiet ♪
637
00:29:23,428 --> 00:29:24,920
♪ ♪
638
00:29:24,929 --> 00:29:28,348
- Hey.
- Hey.
639
00:29:28,433 --> 00:29:30,768
- What's going on?
Where are we at?
640
00:29:30,843 --> 00:29:33,604
- This is where I grew up.
641
00:29:33,688 --> 00:29:35,096
- All right.
642
00:29:35,181 --> 00:29:37,516
- Yeah, it's different now
643
00:29:37,600 --> 00:29:43,030
'cause there's no house
or anything on it,
644
00:29:43,114 --> 00:29:46,033
but I still remember everything
like it was yesterday.
645
00:29:46,117 --> 00:29:51,622
Most of the people in my life
do not know the depths
646
00:29:51,697 --> 00:29:55,209
of where I came from because
so much about my childhood
647
00:29:55,284 --> 00:29:59,546
brought me grief
and shame and hurt.
648
00:29:59,622 --> 00:30:02,132
I haven't been back in years.
649
00:30:02,217 --> 00:30:03,467
Part of me doesn't feel like
650
00:30:03,551 --> 00:30:05,460
Johnny deserves
to hear any of it,
651
00:30:05,545 --> 00:30:09,389
but I feel there's enough
of a foundation for us to be
652
00:30:09,465 --> 00:30:12,968
vulnerable and it's
important for my husband
653
00:30:13,052 --> 00:30:17,222
to understand that I'm
multi-layered and these layers,
654
00:30:17,232 --> 00:30:20,225
they grew from my childhood.
655
00:30:20,309 --> 00:30:21,985
That tree right there
with the little rope,
656
00:30:22,061 --> 00:30:24,154
that was my favorite tree.
657
00:30:24,230 --> 00:30:27,324
It was right in front
of the trailer I grew up in.
658
00:30:27,408 --> 00:30:29,568
The trailer was to the left.
659
00:30:29,652 --> 00:30:31,152
- Wish I could see it.
660
00:30:31,237 --> 00:30:35,740
- Yeah, well,
I actually have pictures.
661
00:30:35,825 --> 00:30:37,668
It was 50 years old already
when my dad bought it.
662
00:30:37,752 --> 00:30:39,837
It was in pretty bad shape.
663
00:30:39,921 --> 00:30:42,172
That's the front,
that's the porch.
664
00:30:42,257 --> 00:30:46,001
We used to hide under here.
665
00:30:46,010 --> 00:30:48,169
This is the tree,
that big tree I said I like.
666
00:30:48,254 --> 00:30:50,430
This property had pear trees,
667
00:30:50,515 --> 00:30:53,174
peach trees, all kinds of trees,
668
00:30:53,184 --> 00:30:56,854
and we had so much fruit
that I would just hock it out
669
00:30:56,929 --> 00:31:00,181
into the street, like,
I just found [bleep] to do.
670
00:31:00,266 --> 00:31:02,943
We used to have
the biggest bonfires.
671
00:31:03,027 --> 00:31:05,195
I used to build
672
00:31:05,271 --> 00:31:09,274
a big straw hut for my, like,
generic Barbies
673
00:31:09,358 --> 00:31:13,453
and I put them in there and I'd
set the whole thing on fire.
674
00:31:13,538 --> 00:31:16,123
[laughs]
- What?
675
00:31:16,207 --> 00:31:18,116
- A lot of mischief
because, again,
676
00:31:18,200 --> 00:31:19,960
when you grow up on two acres
and have no friends,
677
00:31:20,044 --> 00:31:22,203
that's what it is.
678
00:31:22,288 --> 00:31:27,384
So I wrote a long letter
to my little self.
679
00:31:27,468 --> 00:31:30,629
Dear little [indistinct] Bao,
you don't yet know
680
00:31:30,713 --> 00:31:33,965
who you are, but I do.
681
00:31:34,050 --> 00:31:37,052
A lot of what you hate
about yourself and feel
682
00:31:37,136 --> 00:31:39,804
shame for now will shape
you into a stronger,
683
00:31:39,814 --> 00:31:42,807
braver, more
compassionate woman.
684
00:31:42,817 --> 00:31:46,061
[soft dramatic music]
685
00:31:46,070 --> 00:31:49,481
♪ ♪
686
00:31:49,490 --> 00:31:51,575
Your parents are doing
the best they can.
687
00:31:51,651 --> 00:31:53,068
♪ ♪
688
00:31:53,077 --> 00:31:55,913
[sniffles]
689
00:31:55,988 --> 00:32:00,834
Your father lost everything,
he lost his older brother,
690
00:32:00,910 --> 00:32:03,921
and many friends in the war.
691
00:32:04,005 --> 00:32:06,590
Your father
is struggling with PTSD
692
00:32:06,674 --> 00:32:11,094
and no one in your family
and community at the time
693
00:32:11,170 --> 00:32:14,506
is equipped to manage it,
and certainly not your mother.
694
00:32:14,590 --> 00:32:17,768
[crying]
695
00:32:17,852 --> 00:32:20,103
- You okay?
696
00:32:20,188 --> 00:32:27,361
♪ ♪
697
00:32:27,445 --> 00:32:30,948
- Please try to understand
that he is hurting
698
00:32:31,032 --> 00:32:34,025
as much as you are.
699
00:32:34,110 --> 00:32:35,860
Your mother's your hero.
700
00:32:35,945 --> 00:32:40,791
One day, you will see
a lot of her in you.
701
00:32:40,866 --> 00:32:44,378
I promise you that there is
light beyond these dark times
702
00:32:44,453 --> 00:32:47,038
and you will make yourself
and your family
703
00:32:47,048 --> 00:32:49,958
very happy and proud.
704
00:32:50,042 --> 00:32:52,961
Love, bigger [indistinct] Bao.
705
00:32:52,971 --> 00:32:54,805
[chuckles]
706
00:32:59,635 --> 00:33:02,479
[sniffles]
707
00:33:02,555 --> 00:33:03,647
- Come here.
708
00:33:05,725 --> 00:33:07,150
[crying]
709
00:33:07,226 --> 00:33:10,979
♪ ♪
710
00:33:10,989 --> 00:33:15,492
When Bao started sharing
with me about her parents,
711
00:33:15,568 --> 00:33:17,577
something clicked in my head
712
00:33:17,653 --> 00:33:19,913
because I tried to empathize
with that, I started thinking,
713
00:33:19,998 --> 00:33:24,918
am I like either of my parents?
714
00:33:24,994 --> 00:33:26,244
Yeah.
715
00:33:26,328 --> 00:33:32,426
- [sobbing]
- Thanks for sharing it.
716
00:33:32,501 --> 00:33:36,004
Just viewing my parents'
relationship and seeing how
717
00:33:36,088 --> 00:33:38,932
unhappy they were has
made me feel like
718
00:33:39,008 --> 00:33:41,685
it's okay to get divorced.
719
00:33:41,769 --> 00:33:44,512
I have walked away from
relationships very easily
720
00:33:44,522 --> 00:33:48,349
because I saw that it's okay
to leave,
721
00:33:48,359 --> 00:33:50,610
and that shouldn't be the case.
722
00:33:50,695 --> 00:33:55,440
There's something wrong here,
I'm expecting too much,
723
00:33:55,450 --> 00:33:58,359
and that's not fair.
724
00:33:58,369 --> 00:34:01,455
It's not fair to, like,
this marriage,
725
00:34:01,539 --> 00:34:05,792
it's just not fair to Bao.
726
00:34:05,868 --> 00:34:09,796
I didn't try to make it work.
727
00:34:09,872 --> 00:34:12,957
- I've never shared this
with anybody.
728
00:34:13,042 --> 00:34:15,293
None of my relationships
729
00:34:15,303 --> 00:34:19,890
that nearly led to marriage,
730
00:34:19,965 --> 00:34:21,475
I never shared it.
731
00:34:21,550 --> 00:34:23,477
I never shared it
because I was ashamed,
732
00:34:23,552 --> 00:34:27,639
but I honestly feel like
my mom--my mom was the glue.
733
00:34:27,723 --> 00:34:30,901
Like, if she didn't
just grit and bear it,
734
00:34:30,985 --> 00:34:32,486
I don't know
where we would be now.
735
00:34:32,561 --> 00:34:33,728
I mean, maybe
we would have been better
736
00:34:33,738 --> 00:34:37,398
and hindsight's 20/20,
maybe if they had split.
737
00:34:37,408 --> 00:34:41,402
I can't say because--
I look at what they have
738
00:34:41,487 --> 00:34:45,240
now and it's--it's wonderful.
739
00:34:45,249 --> 00:34:48,251
They're stronger now.
It's all I've ever wanted.
740
00:34:48,336 --> 00:34:51,254
♪ ♪
741
00:34:51,330 --> 00:34:54,424
But they went through
some real [bleep] to get there.
742
00:34:54,509 --> 00:34:57,094
We all did.
743
00:34:57,169 --> 00:35:01,089
- For her to have been around
her parents who went through
744
00:35:01,099 --> 00:35:03,341
this sort of hardship,
and they're still together
745
00:35:03,351 --> 00:35:06,353
after 50 years now,
746
00:35:06,428 --> 00:35:09,597
I think that really
speaks volumes as to how
747
00:35:09,607 --> 00:35:12,275
Bao views marriage,
and it kind of makes sense now,
748
00:35:12,351 --> 00:35:14,686
the way that she's committed
to the marriage 100%,
749
00:35:14,770 --> 00:35:17,772
and it gives me hope.
750
00:35:17,857 --> 00:35:20,692
Thanks for sharing this with me.
751
00:35:20,776 --> 00:35:23,703
Sharing this part of your past,
even though it's difficult,
752
00:35:23,779 --> 00:35:26,790
it does give me insight
into who you are
753
00:35:26,866 --> 00:35:28,792
and where you came from.
754
00:35:28,868 --> 00:35:30,127
♪ ♪
755
00:35:36,384 --> 00:35:38,635
♪ ♪
756
00:35:38,711 --> 00:35:41,796
- It's a little different
from what you played, huh?
757
00:35:41,881 --> 00:35:44,132
- I didn't play sand volleyball.
758
00:35:44,142 --> 00:35:47,051
I decided to bring my husband
to volleyball because
759
00:35:47,136 --> 00:35:50,388
I loved volleyball and I
was athletic in high school,
760
00:35:50,398 --> 00:35:54,484
so I wanted to kind of show
him a little into younger me.
761
00:35:54,569 --> 00:35:56,144
You should have worn shorts.
762
00:35:56,228 --> 00:35:58,730
- I 100% should've worn shorts.
763
00:35:58,814 --> 00:36:00,740
I wasn't prepared.
764
00:36:00,816 --> 00:36:03,493
- And that I still
fit into my jersey,
765
00:36:03,569 --> 00:36:07,080
except now I have muscle.
[laughs]
766
00:36:07,165 --> 00:36:09,082
- I've never played one to one.
767
00:36:09,167 --> 00:36:13,745
- It's easy, you serve,
and then you run up
768
00:36:13,754 --> 00:36:15,747
to receive whatever I give you.
769
00:36:15,756 --> 00:36:17,165
- That's a lot of work.
770
00:36:17,175 --> 00:36:18,583
♪ ♪
771
00:36:18,667 --> 00:36:21,094
- There we go.
- [chuckles]
772
00:36:21,179 --> 00:36:23,180
- You could've got that.
- That doesn't count.
773
00:36:23,255 --> 00:36:24,764
- You could've got that.
774
00:36:24,849 --> 00:36:27,767
- ♪ Would you light a fire ♪
775
00:36:27,852 --> 00:36:30,103
♪ Would you lose it all ♪
776
00:36:30,188 --> 00:36:32,856
♪ Would you light a fire ♪
777
00:36:32,932 --> 00:36:35,192
[laughter]
778
00:36:35,276 --> 00:36:37,360
- I wanna
hit that backside so bad.
779
00:36:37,436 --> 00:36:41,114
♪ ♪
780
00:36:46,954 --> 00:36:48,705
- Oh, Jesus.
781
00:36:48,781 --> 00:36:51,950
[laughter]
782
00:36:51,959 --> 00:36:55,545
- Let's go, let's go!
783
00:36:55,630 --> 00:36:57,547
Loser buys drink!
784
00:36:57,623 --> 00:37:00,383
♪ ♪
785
00:37:00,468 --> 00:37:02,469
- You made me fall.
786
00:37:02,544 --> 00:37:04,554
Rematch.
787
00:37:04,630 --> 00:37:06,723
- Good job.
788
00:37:06,807 --> 00:37:10,310
- I would not be here today if
it were not for how I grew up,
789
00:37:10,386 --> 00:37:11,970
the communities,
790
00:37:12,054 --> 00:37:14,564
the environment
of where we grew up molds us
791
00:37:14,649 --> 00:37:16,733
into who we are today,
and so I think it's important
792
00:37:16,809 --> 00:37:20,654
for him to understand this
is why I am who I am today.
793
00:37:20,738 --> 00:37:22,739
- So you had fun, baby?
- Yes.
794
00:37:22,815 --> 00:37:25,075
I miss playing volleyball.
795
00:37:25,159 --> 00:37:27,068
Everybody takes a different
path and it's a different
796
00:37:27,078 --> 00:37:30,163
motivation because my husband
also grew up poor
797
00:37:30,248 --> 00:37:31,998
and so--but that molded him to
be something different, right,
798
00:37:32,074 --> 00:37:34,075
it drove him to do
something different.
799
00:37:34,159 --> 00:37:36,160
- I miss playing volleyball
too, I mean, I didn't play
800
00:37:36,245 --> 00:37:39,923
competitive like you out here
in a jersey and everything.
801
00:37:39,999 --> 00:37:43,927
- This is my high school senior
jersey, it has my name on it.
802
00:37:44,011 --> 00:37:46,337
This is the first time
that I've worn this since my
803
00:37:46,422 --> 00:37:49,432
senior year,
this was 16 years ago.
804
00:37:49,508 --> 00:37:52,769
You that old lady with her
old high school jersey.
805
00:37:52,853 --> 00:37:54,771
- I'm not old.
- And it fits like it.
806
00:37:58,526 --> 00:38:00,527
What did your mom think
about you playing sports?
807
00:38:00,602 --> 00:38:02,696
- She encouraged it,
you know, I mean,
808
00:38:02,780 --> 00:38:05,023
we didn't have a car growing
up, the challenge of like,
809
00:38:05,107 --> 00:38:07,025
remember, like you--
- Getting to--
810
00:38:07,109 --> 00:38:09,119
- Getting to and from practice
was tough and getting to games.
811
00:38:09,203 --> 00:38:12,113
- Do you think that that
translated somehow now into
812
00:38:12,197 --> 00:38:14,958
your life,
the way you play sports to now?
813
00:38:15,042 --> 00:38:17,368
Like, in any aspect,
like work, or...
814
00:38:17,378 --> 00:38:19,546
- I mean, I definitely think,
like, in the being organized,
815
00:38:19,621 --> 00:38:22,040
being responsible,
being independent,
816
00:38:22,124 --> 00:38:24,959
working with others,
all those things are,
817
00:38:24,969 --> 00:38:26,886
like, who I am now,
and that molded me, like,
818
00:38:26,971 --> 00:38:29,964
at a very young age, like, I
needed to be in sports, like...
819
00:38:29,974 --> 00:38:31,808
you had to have all your
stuff together, like,
820
00:38:31,884 --> 00:38:33,301
you have to be ready
to go to practice, you know,
821
00:38:33,311 --> 00:38:34,635
you had to kind of do
that on your own because
822
00:38:34,645 --> 00:38:35,645
it's not like my mom
was gonna hold my hand and
823
00:38:35,730 --> 00:38:38,648
do it, like,
you know, she couldn't.
824
00:38:38,724 --> 00:38:39,816
Like, I had to go and figure out
825
00:38:39,892 --> 00:38:41,142
how to do those things on my own
826
00:38:41,226 --> 00:38:43,644
and communicate those things
to my mom.
827
00:38:43,654 --> 00:38:46,230
So really, it was like a
motivation to do better and so
828
00:38:46,315 --> 00:38:48,325
I think when I look back,
829
00:38:48,409 --> 00:38:50,744
not just me,
like, I see my brother,
830
00:38:50,819 --> 00:38:53,496
and I see my sister, and
then I see my little sister,
831
00:38:53,572 --> 00:38:55,749
and I think all the things
that we've accomplished,
832
00:38:55,833 --> 00:38:57,158
considering where we came from,
833
00:38:57,242 --> 00:38:59,836
it's like--like, we worked hard,
834
00:38:59,912 --> 00:39:01,913
like, we did good.
835
00:39:01,922 --> 00:39:04,841
Like, we're making my mom proud
and that makes me happy
836
00:39:04,917 --> 00:39:06,843
because I know my mom struggled
and went through a lot
837
00:39:06,927 --> 00:39:10,263
in her life so that we
could be where we are today.
838
00:39:10,339 --> 00:39:12,515
I moved around a lot,
but there was--
839
00:39:12,600 --> 00:39:14,434
For me there was one home
that I had, like,
840
00:39:14,518 --> 00:39:16,427
this is my first home
that I can recollect.
841
00:39:16,437 --> 00:39:17,687
- Let's see this infamous house.
842
00:39:17,772 --> 00:39:19,522
- This is my little casita.
843
00:39:19,607 --> 00:39:22,025
♪ ♪
844
00:39:22,109 --> 00:39:26,187
It was so tiny, like,
it was just one room and it
845
00:39:26,197 --> 00:39:29,949
had, like, a tin
or aluminum roof, four windows,
846
00:39:30,025 --> 00:39:32,035
and we were
all jam packed in there.
847
00:39:32,111 --> 00:39:34,695
- All right, you were living
in a mansion, I see you.
848
00:39:34,705 --> 00:39:36,373
[chuckles]
849
00:39:36,457 --> 00:39:38,541
- So you see why I wanted,
like, I like high rises
850
00:39:38,626 --> 00:39:41,628
and pretty homes,
'cause this is where I grew up.
851
00:39:41,703 --> 00:39:43,713
- No, that's not the reason
why people should like
852
00:39:43,798 --> 00:39:48,459
high rises and--that doesn't
justify anything, I mean...
853
00:39:48,544 --> 00:39:51,304
- For me, not for others.
854
00:39:51,389 --> 00:39:54,799
- I completely--I completely
see how that's motivation.
855
00:39:54,883 --> 00:39:56,893
I believe that the person
she's become now is
856
00:39:56,977 --> 00:39:59,387
completely different
from the person that she was.
857
00:39:59,471 --> 00:40:01,722
She works hard for what she has
858
00:40:01,807 --> 00:40:05,393
and she has no shame
in who she is.
859
00:40:05,403 --> 00:40:07,904
And so I love that about her,
just her drive.
860
00:40:07,980 --> 00:40:09,480
You want to go back there
and build your house,
861
00:40:09,490 --> 00:40:11,408
would you
want to retire in Roma...
862
00:40:11,483 --> 00:40:14,318
Build your--
- I'm sorry, what?
863
00:40:14,403 --> 00:40:17,247
- But um, sometimes it feels
like she forgets where she
864
00:40:17,331 --> 00:40:20,825
came from and I want
her to stay true to that
865
00:40:20,909 --> 00:40:22,419
and I don't
want her to forget that.
866
00:40:22,494 --> 00:40:26,756
♪ ♪
867
00:40:28,750 --> 00:40:29,834
- ♪ You got me like ♪
868
00:40:29,918 --> 00:40:34,922
♪ Hell yeah ♪
869
00:40:35,007 --> 00:40:37,008
- ♪ Hell yeah ♪
- ♪ Boy, you got me like ♪
870
00:40:37,017 --> 00:40:38,768
[knocking on door]
871
00:40:38,853 --> 00:40:42,188
- Our guest is here.
- We got someone at the door.
872
00:40:42,273 --> 00:40:45,016
- With less than two
weeks left before Decision Day,
873
00:40:45,025 --> 00:40:48,194
I think it's especially
important for our couples
874
00:40:48,270 --> 00:40:50,104
to open up about things
they're ashamed of
875
00:40:50,189 --> 00:40:51,772
and to be vulnerable
876
00:40:51,782 --> 00:40:55,776
with one another about
both the present and the past.
877
00:40:55,861 --> 00:40:59,622
Understanding someone's past
can often provide valuable
878
00:40:59,698 --> 00:41:02,867
information about who
they are in the present.
879
00:41:02,877 --> 00:41:05,369
Learning these things about
each other will have a major
880
00:41:05,454 --> 00:41:08,289
impact on whether they
decide to stay married
881
00:41:08,299 --> 00:41:10,216
or get a divorce.
882
00:41:12,219 --> 00:41:13,720
I can't help
but read your signs.
883
00:41:13,804 --> 00:41:15,555
- [laughs]
- Oh, yes.
884
00:41:15,631 --> 00:41:18,633
- I promise
to actively listen more.
885
00:41:18,642 --> 00:41:20,468
I promise to be less
controlling and let
886
00:41:20,478 --> 00:41:23,137
you be the independent
woman you are always.
887
00:41:23,222 --> 00:41:26,900
I promise to always check on my
wife, morning, noon, and night.
888
00:41:26,975 --> 00:41:29,319
That sounds controlling,
but maybe it isn't.
889
00:41:29,394 --> 00:41:31,738
[laughter]
890
00:41:31,822 --> 00:41:33,397
You can let me know.
891
00:41:33,407 --> 00:41:35,658
I don't see any from
you up here, Rachel.
892
00:41:35,734 --> 00:41:37,494
- Well I
didn't do anything wrong.
893
00:41:37,578 --> 00:41:40,079
[laughter]
- So you're the perfect wife?
894
00:41:40,164 --> 00:41:41,831
- She is the perfect one.
895
00:41:41,916 --> 00:41:44,825
- Okay, well
let's check in on that.
896
00:41:44,835 --> 00:41:47,420
- The only one that she
does have up here
897
00:41:47,496 --> 00:41:50,507
is actually a little personal
sign to--
898
00:41:50,582 --> 00:41:53,843
- Something that I need
to do or work on, but I'm sure
899
00:41:53,928 --> 00:41:58,264
there are things and we
can definitely talk about that.
900
00:41:58,340 --> 00:42:01,017
- So I think it's important
to know that we're not
901
00:42:01,093 --> 00:42:02,852
always going to be perfect
and the marriage isn't going
902
00:42:02,928 --> 00:42:05,355
to always be perfect,
but you can learn from it,
903
00:42:05,439 --> 00:42:08,191
rise above it,
and keep getting better.
904
00:42:08,267 --> 00:42:11,945
You know, my job here
is to take a look first at,
905
00:42:12,029 --> 00:42:15,606
you know, those things that
create a profound relationship.
906
00:42:15,691 --> 00:42:17,951
You know, the vulnerabilities
you've shared,
907
00:42:18,026 --> 00:42:21,037
working to build
and maintain trust,
908
00:42:21,121 --> 00:42:24,541
those things that are
kind of the foundational level
909
00:42:24,625 --> 00:42:26,867
of being married.
910
00:42:26,877 --> 00:42:31,038
So let's take
a look at how well you've done.
911
00:42:31,048 --> 00:42:34,300
Rachel, looking into
what Jose's triggers are,
912
00:42:34,385 --> 00:42:37,545
what are the things that
are his points of vulnerability
913
00:42:37,629 --> 00:42:41,799
that you--you now know,
and what happened after that?
914
00:42:41,883 --> 00:42:44,561
- I've learned that when
it comes to triggers,
915
00:42:44,645 --> 00:42:49,056
it's definitely making
him talk or communicate when
916
00:42:49,141 --> 00:42:50,817
he's not ready to.
917
00:42:50,901 --> 00:42:53,060
I found
out that was the trigger,
918
00:42:53,070 --> 00:42:55,062
I found out what happens
when you don't give him space.
919
00:42:55,072 --> 00:42:58,408
He was like, "Look,
if I get past this point,
920
00:42:58,492 --> 00:43:01,995
I'm gonna say something,
basically, I'm gonna regret.
921
00:43:02,070 --> 00:43:04,414
And I believed him
and I'm like, okay, like,
922
00:43:04,498 --> 00:43:06,249
I don't want to find out,
you know,
923
00:43:06,325 --> 00:43:09,669
and so I learned, yeah,
definitely give him space,
924
00:43:09,745 --> 00:43:11,588
give him time,
925
00:43:11,663 --> 00:43:15,592
and not immediately go
into this feeling of rejection.
926
00:43:15,676 --> 00:43:18,836
This is why I was avoiding
giving him that space
927
00:43:18,920 --> 00:43:22,098
because I didn't want
to feel that rejection
928
00:43:22,182 --> 00:43:25,092
of "he's mad and he
doesn't want to talk to me,
929
00:43:25,102 --> 00:43:28,605
like, he must not want
to be with me anymore."
930
00:43:28,689 --> 00:43:30,356
And now, I'm like, you know,
if he needs his space,
931
00:43:30,441 --> 00:43:32,525
we just watch TV,
and then he's like,
932
00:43:32,601 --> 00:43:35,111
"I didn't like how
you did this today."
933
00:43:35,187 --> 00:43:38,448
And I'm like, "oh, wow."
It showed me that it works.
934
00:43:38,523 --> 00:43:41,117
- So that sounds really great,
I mean, that's the kind
935
00:43:41,193 --> 00:43:43,453
of growth that you want
in a relationship where
936
00:43:43,537 --> 00:43:45,872
you start
to learn from each other.
937
00:43:45,947 --> 00:43:49,450
Now, how do I not be
overbearing and do too
938
00:43:49,460 --> 00:43:51,535
much for my wife,
have you found out?
939
00:43:51,620 --> 00:43:52,787
- Yeah, so I think it was just
940
00:43:52,871 --> 00:43:54,872
us having just the conversation,
941
00:43:54,882 --> 00:43:58,217
and how much should I be doing,
and where do I scale back?
942
00:43:58,293 --> 00:44:00,053
It was it was things like,
you know,
943
00:44:00,128 --> 00:44:02,963
early on, even
on the honeymoon, you know,
944
00:44:02,973 --> 00:44:04,465
she addressed,
she didn't want to be fed.
945
00:44:04,475 --> 00:44:06,643
And I was doing it only
because I wanted to give
946
00:44:06,727 --> 00:44:08,552
her whatever I had.
947
00:44:08,562 --> 00:44:11,806
- And for me, it was like,
take it down a little bit so I
948
00:44:11,815 --> 00:44:14,392
can meet you there too,
you know, because it
949
00:44:14,476 --> 00:44:17,070
was very much of like,
just sit here and I'll do
950
00:44:17,145 --> 00:44:19,656
everything and I'm like,
"Oh no, I don't like that."
951
00:44:19,740 --> 00:44:22,400
- Well, he said he
wanted a modern woman,
952
00:44:22,484 --> 00:44:24,485
but he forgot that he
was a traditional guy.
953
00:44:24,495 --> 00:44:26,237
[laughter]
954
00:44:26,321 --> 00:44:27,747
So there's had to be
a little growth there?
955
00:44:27,831 --> 00:44:29,499
- Yeah, absolutely.
956
00:44:29,574 --> 00:44:31,334
And yes,
I did want an independent
957
00:44:31,410 --> 00:44:34,253
woman, and I got that,
and we're actually doing it
958
00:44:34,338 --> 00:44:38,082
together and we've found
a little bit of a happy medium.
959
00:44:38,166 --> 00:44:41,094
- So he's trusting your opinion
more, he's listening more?
960
00:44:41,169 --> 00:44:42,837
- Mm-hmm, yes.
961
00:44:42,846 --> 00:44:45,348
- So I think you guys
are doing extremely well
962
00:44:45,424 --> 00:44:47,266
and building it well.
963
00:44:47,342 --> 00:44:49,176
I do want to see
if you feel that you have
964
00:44:49,186 --> 00:44:51,938
told each other secrets
that are hard to tell
965
00:44:52,022 --> 00:44:54,107
because I think one
966
00:44:54,191 --> 00:44:56,859
thing that makes a real
marriage profound is
967
00:44:56,935 --> 00:45:00,446
you--you show some
of the mistakes you've made,
968
00:45:00,522 --> 00:45:02,448
or the things you've done,
you're not so sure that
969
00:45:02,524 --> 00:45:05,609
the other person would accept,
and they do.
970
00:45:05,619 --> 00:45:07,704
Do you feel that you have shared
971
00:45:07,779 --> 00:45:12,041
what you need to share
to feel like you're honest?
972
00:45:12,126 --> 00:45:14,627
♪ ♪
973
00:45:14,712 --> 00:45:18,881
- I think for us, we really
just laid all the cards out.
974
00:45:18,957 --> 00:45:24,378
♪ ♪
975
00:45:24,388 --> 00:45:26,389
- There's something
I haven't told Jose
976
00:45:26,473 --> 00:45:27,890
about the night
he locked me out...
977
00:45:27,966 --> 00:45:29,976
[dramatic music]
978
00:45:30,060 --> 00:45:32,720
And I'm nervous about
how he's going to take it.
979
00:45:32,804 --> 00:45:35,732
You know, there's that phrase,
once a cheater,
980
00:45:35,816 --> 00:45:37,734
always a cheater,
and I'm wondering,
981
00:45:37,818 --> 00:45:41,237
is he going to have trust
issues because of my past?
982
00:45:41,321 --> 00:45:44,240
But I know
I have to tell him soon.
983
00:45:51,156 --> 00:45:54,500
- ♪ I can't sleep at night,
no ♪
984
00:45:54,576 --> 00:45:57,661
♪ Waiting for the background ♪
985
00:45:57,671 --> 00:45:59,914
♪ Of my mind to quiet down ♪
986
00:45:59,923 --> 00:46:03,342
- So Zackary and I, we
had a meeting with Dr. Pepper,
987
00:46:03,502 --> 00:46:07,263
and he walked out
of that meeting.
988
00:46:07,339 --> 00:46:10,925
And I thought we were done.
Like, I thought that was it.
989
00:46:10,934 --> 00:46:14,520
Apparently it's not.
That night, Zackary
990
00:46:14,596 --> 00:46:17,765
called me asking me
for a closure meeting.
991
00:46:17,775 --> 00:46:21,268
I've no idea what Zack
is going into this meeting
992
00:46:21,278 --> 00:46:25,615
thinking, so we're
gonna see how it goes.
993
00:46:25,774 --> 00:46:30,194
- I'm glad that this meeting
is taking place, I think
994
00:46:30,287 --> 00:46:34,290
it's in both your interests,
and I only have two rules.
995
00:46:34,366 --> 00:46:37,293
One is that it always
stays civil, and secondly,
996
00:46:37,369 --> 00:46:40,129
that you don't interrupt
so everybody gets to feel
997
00:46:40,205 --> 00:46:43,549
like they have been able
to express themselves fully.
998
00:46:43,625 --> 00:46:46,803
I'm trying to get
your goals fulfilled.
999
00:46:46,962 --> 00:46:49,305
Tell me what your goals are
for this meeting.
1000
00:46:49,381 --> 00:46:51,474
- Right, so essentially,
my goals with Michaela are
1001
00:46:51,550 --> 00:46:54,310
to essentially--to talk
about how we've gotten to this
1002
00:46:54,469 --> 00:46:57,972
point and, you know,
what lessons we can take from
1003
00:46:57,981 --> 00:47:02,059
this to kind of better
ourselves going forward.
1004
00:47:02,069 --> 00:47:05,396
And if there's anything
we could have done differently,
1005
00:47:05,405 --> 00:47:09,158
you could say anything, it's
not gonna hurt my feelings.
1006
00:47:11,570 --> 00:47:16,073
- Zack, I fought for this,
1007
00:47:16,083 --> 00:47:20,002
and my passion may have
1008
00:47:20,078 --> 00:47:23,414
been misconstrued,
1009
00:47:23,423 --> 00:47:27,751
but I was giving it my all.
1010
00:47:27,761 --> 00:47:30,930
[soft dramatic music]
1011
00:47:31,006 --> 00:47:33,007
And--
1012
00:47:33,100 --> 00:47:37,353
And Dr. Pepper, I have
to talk to you about this.
1013
00:47:37,429 --> 00:47:38,771
You know about my text messages,
1014
00:47:38,847 --> 00:47:40,097
and he didn't reply
to any of them
1015
00:47:40,190 --> 00:47:41,682
or my phone calls and I get it,
1016
00:47:41,692 --> 00:47:46,020
people need space.
That was me trying.
1017
00:47:46,113 --> 00:47:48,606
For Zackary,
there was no coming back,
1018
00:47:48,615 --> 00:47:50,691
and I understood that,
1019
00:47:50,701 --> 00:47:54,028
and I accepted that,
and I accept it now.
1020
00:47:55,030 --> 00:47:58,365
- I think you would agree
that I put in as much effort
1021
00:47:58,375 --> 00:48:02,879
and willingness as you did, and
I don't want that to ever be
1022
00:48:03,038 --> 00:48:06,132
lost--I never want you to look
back at this and think like,
1023
00:48:06,207 --> 00:48:07,791
you know, Zack
just never gave me a chance
1024
00:48:07,876 --> 00:48:11,387
or Zack just didn't want me
because that wasn't the case.
1025
00:48:11,546 --> 00:48:15,224
- Did you two give each
other enough affirmations?
1026
00:48:15,383 --> 00:48:18,227
Did you tell him how great
he was at this or that?
1027
00:48:18,303 --> 00:48:20,980
Did you tell her how
much you admire, like her,
1028
00:48:21,056 --> 00:48:22,648
or thought, you know,
this--that was
1029
00:48:22,724 --> 00:48:24,233
particularly smart
or interesting,
1030
00:48:24,309 --> 00:48:26,485
did you guys give that
kind of back and forth?
1031
00:48:26,561 --> 00:48:28,654
- Yeah, absolutely,
I know I did.
1032
00:48:28,730 --> 00:48:31,231
I know she definitely did,
so yes.
1033
00:48:31,241 --> 00:48:34,068
Our conversations
are mostly positive,
1034
00:48:34,077 --> 00:48:35,819
we're not always arguing,
so yeah, I would definitely
1035
00:48:35,913 --> 00:48:39,823
say we gave each other
affirmations most of the time.
1036
00:48:39,833 --> 00:48:42,576
- So am I reading this right
that it was mostly positives,
1037
00:48:42,586 --> 00:48:44,828
but these blow-ups
ruined it for you?
1038
00:48:44,838 --> 00:48:47,757
If I could extract this out
1039
00:48:47,832 --> 00:48:52,169
of the relationship,
would the marriage be good?
1040
00:48:52,262 --> 00:48:54,505
- Correct, like I keep saying,
Michaela is an amazing person,
1041
00:48:54,598 --> 00:48:56,423
she's the most thoughtful
woman I've ever met in my life,
1042
00:48:56,433 --> 00:48:59,760
and this is worth
the sacrifice and fight,
1043
00:48:59,770 --> 00:49:02,179
it's just, we, like--
We did talk about this
1044
00:49:02,189 --> 00:49:03,356
throughout the whole process,
1045
00:49:03,431 --> 00:49:04,857
we did talk about
how we can fix it,
1046
00:49:04,933 --> 00:49:08,945
and it seems like
nothing was working.
1047
00:49:09,020 --> 00:49:10,688
- Well, if it was an easy fix,
it would have already happened.
1048
00:49:10,697 --> 00:49:13,273
- Right, true.
Yeah, that's true.
1049
00:49:13,283 --> 00:49:15,785
- So we're talking about
tougher stuff and the question
1050
00:49:15,944 --> 00:49:19,956
is, if you could--if you really
want to work with Michaela
1051
00:49:20,115 --> 00:49:24,710
on this really big problem,
agree to work on this
1052
00:49:24,786 --> 00:49:27,797
issue together,
because I think you have
1053
00:49:27,872 --> 00:49:31,709
some knowledge, Zack,
of some of the things that
1054
00:49:31,718 --> 00:49:33,469
might have helped more,
honestly,
1055
00:49:33,628 --> 00:49:35,295
that's my perspective.
1056
00:49:35,305 --> 00:49:39,299
- Right, I understand
that perspective.
1057
00:49:39,309 --> 00:49:42,311
My thing is,
I just want us to be able to be
1058
00:49:42,387 --> 00:49:45,564
in the best position possible,
divorced or not divorced.
1059
00:49:45,640 --> 00:49:47,817
- I think I
just need to reiterate,
1060
00:49:47,892 --> 00:49:51,478
divorce means something to you
that's different for her.
1061
00:49:51,571 --> 00:49:53,981
♪ ♪
1062
00:49:53,991 --> 00:49:58,995
- Then I would say yes
on Decision Day
1063
00:49:59,070 --> 00:50:00,738
if that makes Michaela
feel comfortable enough
1064
00:50:00,831 --> 00:50:02,823
just to talk to me again,
1065
00:50:02,833 --> 00:50:05,668
and have a conversation to see
if we can work on this because
1066
00:50:05,744 --> 00:50:08,337
one phrase, "I want a divorce"
or "I want to stay married,"
1067
00:50:08,413 --> 00:50:12,842
will not dictate our
relationship in the future.
1068
00:50:12,917 --> 00:50:15,177
- If he said yes, would
you be willing to work on it?
1069
00:50:15,253 --> 00:50:20,850
♪ ♪
1070
00:50:20,925 --> 00:50:22,509
I mean, this is a very painful
moment for you right now.
1071
00:50:22,519 --> 00:50:25,271
- So one thing,
1072
00:50:25,346 --> 00:50:30,359
getting a yes on
Decision Day from him,
1073
00:50:30,435 --> 00:50:33,520
I honestly think it
would have to come from him.
1074
00:50:33,530 --> 00:50:37,191
Not from a place of,
"Can you just talk to me,
1075
00:50:37,284 --> 00:50:40,870
can you--'cause,
for me personally,
1076
00:50:41,029 --> 00:50:43,873
I've got the information that
I needed during our meeting.
1077
00:50:44,032 --> 00:50:47,868
Honestly, Dr. Pepper,
that was a big thing for me.
1078
00:50:47,878 --> 00:50:52,298
I found closure,
and I don't really have
1079
00:50:52,457 --> 00:50:55,217
anything much else to say.
1080
00:50:55,293 --> 00:50:57,803
♪ ♪
1081
00:51:00,381 --> 00:51:01,799
- Okay, well,
I think she's in the position
1082
00:51:01,808 --> 00:51:04,143
you were the other day.
- Yeah, I know.
1083
00:51:04,219 --> 00:51:07,480
- Is there anything
else you want to say?
1084
00:51:07,555 --> 00:51:10,066
- Well, like I said,
my door's open,
1085
00:51:10,141 --> 00:51:14,570
I'm willing to talk to you, um,
whenever, like--like, please,
1086
00:51:14,646 --> 00:51:18,074
I definitely want to and I
would love to at some point,
1087
00:51:18,149 --> 00:51:21,494
it could be today, tomorrow,
a year from now, whatever,
1088
00:51:21,569 --> 00:51:24,413
but just know that I
am willing to do that.
1089
00:51:24,489 --> 00:51:27,166
♪ ♪
1090
00:51:27,242 --> 00:51:29,743
- Can you
look at him and just say--
1091
00:51:29,753 --> 00:51:33,089
- If she looks at me,
she gonna start laughing.
1092
00:51:33,164 --> 00:51:35,424
- Well, come on, be brave.
1093
00:51:37,585 --> 00:51:40,921
Do me a favor.
1094
00:51:40,931 --> 00:51:45,259
My husband actually
taught this to me.
1095
00:51:45,268 --> 00:51:47,853
Put one of your hands out,
each of you,
1096
00:51:47,929 --> 00:51:50,097
and hold
the other person's hand.
1097
00:51:50,107 --> 00:51:52,608
Just do it
1098
00:51:52,684 --> 00:51:55,853
and say that you will agree
to talk to each other
1099
00:51:55,862 --> 00:51:58,364
further, how about that?
1100
00:51:58,523 --> 00:52:01,283
Is that a big one?
- [chuckles]
1101
00:52:01,359 --> 00:52:03,619
- That would be great.
- One hand, you can do this.
1102
00:52:03,695 --> 00:52:05,037
- You don't have to touch me.
Don't touch me, don't touch me.
1103
00:52:05,122 --> 00:52:07,706
- Put on your big girl clothes
and you look gorgeous.
1104
00:52:07,782 --> 00:52:12,211
Come on,
you can hold his hand, okay?
1105
00:52:12,370 --> 00:52:17,124
Okay, because what he taught me
about that is that reminds us
1106
00:52:17,134 --> 00:52:21,053
we're human together,
and that the problems
1107
00:52:21,129 --> 00:52:23,055
are real,
and the problems are problems,
1108
00:52:23,131 --> 00:52:25,641
but we're two good people
trying our best.
1109
00:52:25,717 --> 00:52:30,637
So just agree for me that
you will have one conversation
1110
00:52:30,730 --> 00:52:34,641
at least before Decision Day
about your feelings.
1111
00:52:34,734 --> 00:52:36,393
Whatever you decide,
whatever you do,
1112
00:52:36,403 --> 00:52:37,820
it's up to you of course.
1113
00:52:37,979 --> 00:52:40,564
- I promise you that
and I want to do that.
1114
00:52:40,574 --> 00:52:42,324
- Yes, ma'am, I can do that.
1115
00:52:42,400 --> 00:52:46,495
- Okay, thank you.
1116
00:52:47,572 --> 00:52:50,157
- So when do you wanna do that?
After this? I'm down.
1117
00:52:50,250 --> 00:52:51,834
- [laughing]
1118
00:52:51,910 --> 00:52:53,752
- You laughing,
I know you wanna do it, like,
1119
00:52:53,828 --> 00:52:56,330
you're not fooling
no one, Michaela.
1120
00:52:56,339 --> 00:52:58,165
Lets do this--let's go
somewhere after this.
1121
00:52:58,175 --> 00:53:00,918
- [laughs]
You see where I get confused?
1122
00:53:01,011 --> 00:53:02,586
- No, no, no, it's not about
confusion, I just would love
1123
00:53:02,596 --> 00:53:04,338
to, like, talk to you
1124
00:53:04,347 --> 00:53:05,848
because I want to resolve
our situation,
1125
00:53:06,007 --> 00:53:07,850
and I feel like it'll be very
beneficial to both of us so
1126
00:53:08,009 --> 00:53:09,518
that's why I'm excited
and would love to do it,
1127
00:53:09,594 --> 00:53:12,354
but anyway, it's up to you
whenever you want to do that.
1128
00:53:12,513 --> 00:53:14,848
I do want to talk to Michaela
and I do want to see
1129
00:53:14,858 --> 00:53:17,017
if this is something we can fix.
1130
00:53:17,027 --> 00:53:19,028
I don't know this is gonna work,
1131
00:53:19,103 --> 00:53:20,938
but it's a chance
I'm willing to take.
1132
00:53:20,947 --> 00:53:23,866
I'm gonna keep trying.
1133
00:53:23,942 --> 00:53:27,110
- ♪ I'm running ♪
1134
00:53:27,204 --> 00:53:31,707
♪ You and I both know
it's not the end ♪
1135
00:53:31,783 --> 00:53:35,127
♪ 'Cause it's me and you ♪
1136
00:53:35,286 --> 00:53:37,880
♪ No falling out ♪
1137
00:53:37,956 --> 00:53:38,797
♪ You and I ♪
1138
00:53:41,626 --> 00:53:43,719
♪ You and me ♪
1139
00:53:43,795 --> 00:53:46,129
- ♪ We be out there,
we be making millions ♪
1140
00:53:46,139 --> 00:53:47,130
♪ We go out t
1141
00:53:47,215 --> 00:53:50,643
[kno
1142
00:53:50,718 --> 00:53:53,395
- Hi there.
- It's just you again.
1143
00:53:53,480 --> 00:53:56,974
- I rang you like three times.
[laughter]
1144
00:53:56,983 --> 00:53:58,984
Welcome to our humble abode.
1145
00:53:59,060 --> 00:54:01,237
- How are you?
- I'm good.
1146
00:54:01,321 --> 00:54:02,229
- The comedian
in our relationship.
1147
00:54:02,239 --> 00:54:03,572
- Oh, good.
1148
00:54:03,648 --> 00:54:05,899
- I like to give hugs,
are you a hugger?
1149
00:54:05,909 --> 00:54:08,244
Things have been going good
with Myrla,
1150
00:54:08,319 --> 00:54:10,153
but I'm excited to be
able to share some
1151
00:54:10,163 --> 00:54:12,072
thoughts with Dr. Pepper.
1152
00:54:12,082 --> 00:54:13,991
We got water,
we got champagne, we got wine,
1153
00:54:14,000 --> 00:54:15,501
we got vodka, we got tequila--
1154
00:54:15,576 --> 00:54:18,420
- I'll take all of those.
[laughter]
1155
00:54:18,496 --> 00:54:20,923
- And also give us some
tips on how to better
1156
00:54:20,999 --> 00:54:24,251
improve the small things
in working towards
1157
00:54:24,335 --> 00:54:27,012
getting to that goal
that we both want.
1158
00:54:27,088 --> 00:54:28,847
- So it's great to see you guys,
1159
00:54:28,923 --> 00:54:32,342
my mission is always to help
individuals and couples.
1160
00:54:32,427 --> 00:54:35,012
So Gil, you have called
her a negative Nancy.
1161
00:54:35,096 --> 00:54:36,772
- Yes.
1162
00:54:36,848 --> 00:54:38,932
- So how does she get rid
of that label, what would she
1163
00:54:38,942 --> 00:54:42,519
be acting like for you
to not think of her that way?
1164
00:54:42,529 --> 00:54:46,023
[soft dramatic music]
1165
00:54:46,107 --> 00:54:51,870
- Um, more optimism,
you know, more open mindedness
1166
00:54:51,946 --> 00:54:55,866
about things because most of
the time she goes into things
1167
00:54:55,875 --> 00:55:00,629
kind of negative, but then nine
times out of ten she enjoys it.
1168
00:55:00,705 --> 00:55:02,965
- So do you think you
can sort of stifle yourself
1169
00:55:03,049 --> 00:55:04,541
some of the time?
- I mean, I do.
1170
00:55:04,625 --> 00:55:05,384
- Do you, do you think
you can stifle yourself?
1171
00:55:05,460 --> 00:55:07,294
- I think I can.
1172
00:55:07,304 --> 00:55:09,138
- What are the things
that you have to contend
1173
00:55:09,213 --> 00:55:12,308
with that she should know
about to be able to help you?
1174
00:55:12,383 --> 00:55:14,801
- [chuckles] Ah.
1175
00:55:14,811 --> 00:55:17,730
- My venting.
- Her? [chuckles]
1176
00:55:17,805 --> 00:55:22,151
It has to do with her mood.
[laughter]
1177
00:55:22,226 --> 00:55:25,479
Because I try so hard
not for her to get like that
1178
00:55:25,488 --> 00:55:30,233
and then when she gets like
that, it kind of ruins whatever
1179
00:55:30,318 --> 00:55:33,495
we're doing, and so it's
easy to go into the dark.
1180
00:55:33,571 --> 00:55:36,165
[laughter]
1181
00:55:36,249 --> 00:55:38,408
It's easy to fall
into the dark side.
1182
00:55:38,493 --> 00:55:40,002
- When we communicate
with each other, we're,
1183
00:55:40,078 --> 00:55:41,995
like, respectful,
we don't put each other down,
1184
00:55:42,005 --> 00:55:44,006
we're not vindictive,
or any of those things,
1185
00:55:44,082 --> 00:55:47,167
it's just like being kind
and respectful to each other.
1186
00:55:47,251 --> 00:55:48,668
- People that love each other--
1187
00:55:48,678 --> 00:55:50,921
Oh, sorry, people that
are married--
1188
00:55:50,930 --> 00:55:53,599
- My husband loves me.
- [laughs]
1189
00:55:53,674 --> 00:55:57,677
That eventually
will love each other,
1190
00:55:57,762 --> 00:55:59,513
shouldn't talk to each
other that way.
1191
00:55:59,522 --> 00:56:03,100
- I can't help notice
this little word "love"
1192
00:56:03,184 --> 00:56:05,361
jockeying around here.
1193
00:56:05,445 --> 00:56:08,864
- He threw it out.
[indistinct] Dr. Pepper.
1194
00:56:08,948 --> 00:56:12,534
- So has the "love" word
been explored?
1195
00:56:12,610 --> 00:56:14,203
- No.
1196
00:56:14,278 --> 00:56:15,621
- That's because he
1197
00:56:15,696 --> 00:56:17,206
just doesn't want to admit
that he loves me.
1198
00:56:17,290 --> 00:56:18,791
- Have you
told him you love him?
1199
00:56:18,875 --> 00:56:20,209
- Yeah, have you?
1200
00:56:20,284 --> 00:56:21,960
- I have not.
- Okay.
1201
00:56:22,045 --> 00:56:24,546
- Don't you guys know? Normally
people know these things.
1202
00:56:24,622 --> 00:56:29,051
- So she says that she's--
1203
00:56:29,127 --> 00:56:30,627
What's the phrase?
1204
00:56:30,637 --> 00:56:34,798
- Ay.
- I've accepted.
1205
00:56:34,882 --> 00:56:36,725
- I have made the choice
to love my husband.
1206
00:56:36,801 --> 00:56:38,811
- I have made the choice
to love my husband.
1207
00:56:38,895 --> 00:56:40,312
Yes, I heard you.
1208
00:56:40,388 --> 00:56:41,972
- So that means you love him?
1209
00:56:41,981 --> 00:56:44,566
- That's what I'm saying.
What's that mean?
1210
00:56:44,642 --> 00:56:46,485
- It just means that every
day we grow closer together,
1211
00:56:46,561 --> 00:56:47,811
and then love
will come and grow.
1212
00:56:47,821 --> 00:56:49,896
- Basically, it's not an answer.
1213
00:56:49,981 --> 00:56:51,815
- It doesn't sound
like buddy behavior.
1214
00:56:51,825 --> 00:56:53,233
- Correct.
- Hey, buddy.
1215
00:56:53,243 --> 00:56:56,486
- It doesn't--it does not.
[laughter]
1216
00:56:56,496 --> 00:57:00,574
But for me, it's--
I've prematurely said
1217
00:57:00,583 --> 00:57:04,578
it before in the past
and I didn't love that person,
1218
00:57:04,587 --> 00:57:07,673
and so I don't want
to do that mistake again,
1219
00:57:07,748 --> 00:57:09,499
you know, it's something
that I've thought about it.
1220
00:57:09,509 --> 00:57:11,585
You know, I've pondered it,
1221
00:57:11,594 --> 00:57:15,264
I've been in a car and driving,
like, "I think I love her."
1222
00:57:15,339 --> 00:57:18,258
And so but I want to make
sure that I actually mean it,
1223
00:57:18,342 --> 00:57:20,436
I wouldn't say it
to just anybody.
1224
00:57:20,520 --> 00:57:25,023
♪ ♪
1225
00:57:25,108 --> 00:57:27,443
- I like the fact that
you have integrity about that,
1226
00:57:27,518 --> 00:57:29,769
which is terrific.
1227
00:57:29,779 --> 00:57:33,699
So this
one's kind of a tougher one.
1228
00:57:33,774 --> 00:57:35,192
How much will you have to save
1229
00:57:35,201 --> 00:57:37,202
to prepare for a house and kids?
1230
00:57:37,287 --> 00:57:42,282
So you're looking at kids
and a house, that's real money.
1231
00:57:42,292 --> 00:57:44,117
- Mm-hmm.
1232
00:57:44,127 --> 00:57:46,295
- Did you have to agree
on how much because you make
1233
00:57:46,370 --> 00:57:48,881
more money than him--
How do you work that out?
1234
00:57:48,956 --> 00:57:50,382
- Did we put a number?
1235
00:57:50,458 --> 00:57:51,958
- I don't think we put a number.
1236
00:57:51,968 --> 00:57:53,627
For us we talked about, like,
a certain percentage--
1237
00:57:53,711 --> 00:57:55,053
- A down payment for a house--
1238
00:57:55,129 --> 00:57:57,130
- 20% down for a down payment.
1239
00:57:57,140 --> 00:58:01,801
- And then for the kid,
her main concern is
1240
00:58:01,811 --> 00:58:04,980
enough money to where
we can afford a nanny.
1241
00:58:05,056 --> 00:58:07,649
- I think we talked about
like making enough to where we
1242
00:58:07,725 --> 00:58:09,735
feel comfortable to, like,
1243
00:58:09,810 --> 00:58:11,561
be able
to make a mortgage payment,
1244
00:58:11,571 --> 00:58:14,490
and be able to take trips,
and like be able to comfortably
1245
00:58:14,574 --> 00:58:19,069
do all those
things simultaneously.
1246
00:58:19,153 --> 00:58:22,664
- But, I'm not gonna
enable certain things.
1247
00:58:22,749 --> 00:58:25,083
- Like what?
1248
00:58:25,159 --> 00:58:27,586
- Shopping as crazy as you do.
1249
00:58:27,670 --> 00:58:29,254
- Why not, though?
1250
00:58:29,330 --> 00:58:32,508
- Because that's not
conducive to a marriage.
1251
00:58:32,583 --> 00:58:38,180
- Well, how is it affecting you
for me to go shopping?
1252
00:58:38,256 --> 00:58:40,432
- You say you want to save up
for this, that, and the other--
1253
00:58:40,517 --> 00:58:42,851
- But I have--that's my--
That's always my biggest push.
1254
00:58:42,936 --> 00:58:44,686
Like, if I've been
living this lifestyle,
1255
00:58:44,771 --> 00:58:47,272
I've saved quite a bit
as you can see--
1256
00:58:47,357 --> 00:58:49,525
- But if we can save--okay,
let's say we keep going--
1257
00:58:49,609 --> 00:58:52,361
- So you want me to just
save that much more, okay?
1258
00:58:52,436 --> 00:58:56,022
- Yeah, let me give you
an example, you like examples.
1259
00:58:56,032 --> 00:58:58,700
Let's say you stay saving
like you're saving,
1260
00:58:58,785 --> 00:59:01,361
and we get
there in six years, but--
1261
00:59:01,371 --> 00:59:02,371
- I don't think we'll
get there in six years
1262
00:59:02,446 --> 00:59:04,197
with the way I save.
1263
00:59:04,282 --> 00:59:06,041
- Can us please be hypothetical?
1264
00:59:06,117 --> 00:59:07,367
Let's say we get there
1265
00:59:07,451 --> 00:59:09,202
in three years,
but we could get there
1266
00:59:09,212 --> 00:59:12,122
in a year and a half,
wouldn't that be better?
1267
00:59:12,131 --> 00:59:14,216
- But at the cost of, like...
1268
00:59:14,292 --> 00:59:18,545
- Of shopping?
- Of joy.
1269
00:59:18,555 --> 00:59:21,306
- I think I'm willing
to budge on some things,
1270
00:59:21,391 --> 00:59:25,477
but I just think in general,
like, the way that I live
1271
00:59:25,562 --> 00:59:30,232
is drastically different
from how he would like to live.
1272
00:59:30,308 --> 00:59:32,642
If we continue to talk
about things and we come
1273
00:59:32,652 --> 00:59:34,477
to a fact like, actually,
I'm not gonna change,
1274
00:59:34,562 --> 00:59:35,487
you're not going to change,
like,
1275
00:59:35,572 --> 00:59:36,822
this isn't gonna work out,
1276
00:59:36,897 --> 00:59:38,148
and something could
potentially happen
1277
00:59:38,157 --> 00:59:41,484
before Decision Day
that could alter our
1278
00:59:41,494 --> 00:59:45,080
decisions for that future that
we could or could not have.
1279
00:59:45,156 --> 00:59:47,407
I think--I even think
of my most recent relationship,
1280
00:59:47,491 --> 00:59:49,501
if I was--like,
if I wanted something,
1281
00:59:49,577 --> 00:59:51,995
they were like,
"Okay, let's do it."
1282
00:59:52,079 --> 00:59:54,089
It wasn't like, "no."
1283
00:59:54,165 --> 00:59:56,091
[tense music]
1284
00:59:56,175 --> 00:59:59,720
♪ ♪
1285
01:00:04,017 --> 01:00:07,010
♪ ♪
1286
01:00:07,020 --> 01:00:08,770
- You sure
you don't wanna drive?
1287
01:00:08,846 --> 01:00:12,349
- I'm positive, we're
gonna go two miles an hour.
1288
01:00:12,442 --> 01:00:15,611
- Brett, at this point,
knows that I'm kind of more
1289
01:00:15,686 --> 01:00:18,855
country then anybody that
she's dated, so she is picking
1290
01:00:18,865 --> 01:00:22,359
up on the extent of that,
I guess, more and more.
1291
01:00:22,368 --> 01:00:23,785
- Oh, [bleep] damn.
1292
01:00:23,861 --> 01:00:29,458
♪ ♪
1293
01:00:29,533 --> 01:00:32,628
You know what, it's no
big deal, it's totally cool.
1294
01:00:32,703 --> 01:00:34,371
♪ ♪
1295
01:00:34,380 --> 01:00:36,798
- Hold on.
- Oh, [bleep], go ahead.
1296
01:00:36,874 --> 01:00:38,958
- I'm gonna brake it
the whole--I'm gonna brake
1297
01:00:38,968 --> 01:00:40,135
it the whole way down,
it's not gonna be bad.
1298
01:00:40,211 --> 01:00:42,054
- Okay, okay.
1299
01:00:42,129 --> 01:00:43,129
- I just
gotta stay out of the ruts.
1300
01:00:43,139 --> 01:00:45,048
- Okay.
1301
01:00:45,058 --> 01:00:46,132
- We made
it past the sketchy part.
1302
01:00:46,142 --> 01:00:48,385
- Okay.
1303
01:00:48,394 --> 01:00:49,811
Woo!
1304
01:00:49,887 --> 01:00:51,313
♪ ♪
1305
01:00:51,389 --> 01:00:52,981
Thank God.
1306
01:00:53,057 --> 01:00:55,317
Oh, my boobs.
1307
01:00:55,476 --> 01:00:57,486
There's something about,
like, when Ryan's,
1308
01:00:57,645 --> 01:00:59,655
like, in his element.
1309
01:00:59,730 --> 01:01:01,064
This is cool.
1310
01:01:01,074 --> 01:01:02,232
- You gonna put the worm on?
1311
01:01:02,241 --> 01:01:04,234
- I've never done that before.
1312
01:01:04,327 --> 01:01:09,331
That he's a lot more enjoyable,
1313
01:01:09,407 --> 01:01:11,083
like, a lot more open.
1314
01:01:11,158 --> 01:01:13,251
- Now, press it in and hold it.
1315
01:01:13,327 --> 01:01:15,671
- [bleep], okay.
- It'll still be fine.
1316
01:01:15,746 --> 01:01:17,673
Look at that, that was probably
better than--better than mine.
1317
01:01:20,000 --> 01:01:23,086
There's not a ton of things
that my dad and I do together,
1318
01:01:23,096 --> 01:01:26,014
or did together growing up,
but this is always one of them.
1319
01:01:26,090 --> 01:01:30,268
My childhood,
he was either working or at his
1320
01:01:30,428 --> 01:01:31,603
brother's working on a race car.
1321
01:01:31,679 --> 01:01:32,929
They had like three different
race cars
1322
01:01:32,939 --> 01:01:35,774
so it was always--
It was just a money pit,
1323
01:01:35,850 --> 01:01:38,193
a time wasting pit,
and it caused
1324
01:01:38,352 --> 01:01:41,279
a lot of drama in our
household fighting about
1325
01:01:41,355 --> 01:01:42,781
those cars,
so I just hated them.
1326
01:01:42,857 --> 01:01:44,700
- Mm.
1327
01:01:44,775 --> 01:01:48,361
You know, my parents,
I mean, they get along so well.
1328
01:01:48,371 --> 01:01:49,955
I know there's always
a lot going on behind
1329
01:01:50,030 --> 01:01:52,031
the scenes that kids
don't know about,
1330
01:01:52,041 --> 01:01:57,620
but I really had like a very,
like, idyllic childhood.
1331
01:01:57,714 --> 01:01:59,456
- Yeah, 'cause what I was
gonna say, when I was young,
1332
01:01:59,465 --> 01:02:02,968
I don't know that I really
cared to think about marriage
1333
01:02:03,043 --> 01:02:04,377
because I don't think
I really knew
1334
01:02:04,470 --> 01:02:06,045
what a good,
healthy marriage was.
1335
01:02:06,055 --> 01:02:08,631
- Yeah.
1336
01:02:08,641 --> 01:02:12,060
- But yeah, going into this,
1337
01:02:12,219 --> 01:02:14,312
I mean, you think you know what
to expect but,
1338
01:02:14,388 --> 01:02:17,399
I mean, we both know how
to date and how
1339
01:02:17,475 --> 01:02:19,392
to be in relationships,
but I don't know that
1340
01:02:19,402 --> 01:02:21,653
we knew exactly what
was going to be different
1341
01:02:21,729 --> 01:02:25,240
than that,
what we're familiar with.
1342
01:02:25,316 --> 01:02:29,486
- My thoughts on marriage
before this, and now,
1343
01:02:29,579 --> 01:02:32,080
are the same, you know, it's
like, you know, something I
1344
01:02:32,239 --> 01:02:35,492
really believe in that I've
always believed in, something
1345
01:02:35,501 --> 01:02:37,586
that I think, you know,
1346
01:02:37,661 --> 01:02:40,747
requires a lot from both people.
1347
01:02:40,757 --> 01:02:42,924
- Yeah.
1348
01:02:43,000 --> 01:02:45,927
- The thing that is always
going to be the most
1349
01:02:46,086 --> 01:02:50,924
enjoyable is when people
let you in and when you
1350
01:02:50,933 --> 01:02:53,518
can express yourself with
somebody and be vulnerable.
1351
01:02:53,677 --> 01:02:56,679
- ♪ When I'm with you ♪
1352
01:02:56,689 --> 01:02:59,608
♪ When I'm with you ♪
1353
01:02:59,683 --> 01:03:01,943
♪ ♪
1354
01:03:02,102 --> 01:03:04,354
- Hearing more about his
family life and just, like,
1355
01:03:04,447 --> 01:03:06,615
those little anecdotes and
those memories are the most
1356
01:03:06,690 --> 01:03:10,118
important that make you
who you are so any morsel
1357
01:03:10,277 --> 01:03:14,280
of information that he gives
me, helps me feel comfortable
1358
01:03:14,373 --> 01:03:18,084
to continue to grow things,
um, yeah.
1359
01:03:20,546 --> 01:03:22,705
To ten-year-old Brett.
1360
01:03:22,715 --> 01:03:24,966
Oh, I know
you're scared right now,
1361
01:03:25,125 --> 01:03:27,794
and really unsure of yourself
and your place in the world,
1362
01:03:27,804 --> 01:03:29,045
but I'm here to tell
you that you're
1363
01:03:29,055 --> 01:03:30,806
going to figure it all out
one day.
1364
01:03:30,881 --> 01:03:32,307
I know you always want
a glimpse into the future
1365
01:03:32,466 --> 01:03:34,142
and to know that
1366
01:03:34,218 --> 01:03:36,135
you'll end up happy,
well, spoiler alert, you will.
1367
01:03:36,145 --> 01:03:38,897
Through your friendships,
you'll discover what
1368
01:03:38,973 --> 01:03:42,651
means the most to you
in this world, love.
1369
01:03:42,726 --> 01:03:44,811
Friends are family and it's
okay to lean on them
1370
01:03:44,904 --> 01:03:47,155
and ask
for help when you need it.
1371
01:03:47,314 --> 01:03:50,149
Through your quest for love,
you may feel unworthy.
1372
01:03:50,159 --> 01:03:52,410
Our world is gonna try
and harden your heart,
1373
01:03:52,570 --> 01:03:55,580
you are way more
resilient than you think.
1374
01:03:55,656 --> 01:03:57,332
In every moment of heartache,
1375
01:03:57,491 --> 01:03:59,167
when you feel like you
won't survive, you do,
1376
01:03:59,326 --> 01:04:01,169
and not everyone is
deserving of your heart, okay?
1377
01:04:01,245 --> 01:04:04,080
Try to remember that.
1378
01:04:04,173 --> 01:04:07,333
So I leave you with this,
don't let boys make you sad,
1379
01:04:07,343 --> 01:04:11,170
the right one will
make you smile a lot.
1380
01:04:11,264 --> 01:04:13,515
You are
beautiful inside and out,
1381
01:04:13,591 --> 01:04:16,342
your kind heart is everything,
you will make an impact
1382
01:04:16,352 --> 01:04:18,094
on this world,
the forever love you so
1383
01:04:18,104 --> 01:04:21,347
desire will come to you.
1384
01:04:21,357 --> 01:04:24,601
And I know how much you beg
your parents for a puppy,
1385
01:04:24,610 --> 01:04:26,519
just wait a little bit more
1386
01:04:26,529 --> 01:04:28,613
because you'll find one
that was worth waiting for.
1387
01:04:28,689 --> 01:04:31,941
[both chuckling]
1388
01:04:31,951 --> 01:04:33,359
- Yours is better than mine.
1389
01:04:33,369 --> 01:04:36,112
Mine is literally
all over the place.
1390
01:04:36,122 --> 01:04:39,032
- All right, you ready for this?
1391
01:04:39,125 --> 01:04:42,210
- Okay, Ryan,
where to begin, man?
1392
01:04:42,369 --> 01:04:44,120
You have made some very
questionable decisions
1393
01:04:44,130 --> 01:04:46,715
in your 35 years,
but it's truly gotten you
1394
01:04:46,790 --> 01:04:49,217
to this incredible blessed
life that you live today.
1395
01:04:49,293 --> 01:04:51,794
Family, you have a solid one,
spend time with all
1396
01:04:51,804 --> 01:04:53,722
of them as much as you can.
1397
01:04:53,797 --> 01:04:57,058
Unapologetically, be yourself,
you're going to meet some
1398
01:04:57,134 --> 01:04:59,728
unforgettable people in your
life, high school will be fun,
1399
01:04:59,887 --> 01:05:02,063
college will be more fun,
pace yourself, please,
1400
01:05:02,222 --> 01:05:04,649
like, I'm begging you.
1401
01:05:04,725 --> 01:05:08,227
2019, there
are no words for 2019.
1402
01:05:08,237 --> 01:05:10,655
You're going to be
more unconsolably hurt
1403
01:05:10,814 --> 01:05:14,242
than you can ever imagine.
1404
01:05:14,318 --> 01:05:19,989
Andrew was one of my
best friends and he was taken
1405
01:05:20,082 --> 01:05:23,585
in a freak work accident way,
way, way too soon.
1406
01:05:23,661 --> 01:05:26,004
Every day is--it's
never gonna be something
1407
01:05:26,080 --> 01:05:28,081
that's--that's not on my mind,
1408
01:05:28,174 --> 01:05:31,426
but every day
we just keep going.
1409
01:05:31,502 --> 01:05:35,755
To this day you live with this,
express it, tell them
1410
01:05:35,765 --> 01:05:38,350
they feel it too, you'll
all make it through it
1411
01:05:38,425 --> 01:05:40,727
with each other.
1412
01:05:42,179 --> 01:05:46,107
- Seeing Ryan get emotional
about the tragedy with his
1413
01:05:46,183 --> 01:05:50,946
friend Andrew, it makes me
proud of him that he can, like,
1414
01:05:51,021 --> 01:05:52,438
go to that place because
1415
01:05:52,531 --> 01:05:57,118
it does make me feel closer
to Ryan.
1416
01:05:57,194 --> 01:05:59,779
And really, that's what
I wanted this whole time.
1417
01:05:59,872 --> 01:06:02,791
♪ ♪
1418
01:06:02,950 --> 01:06:05,284
- On a lighter note,
you married a stranger.
1419
01:06:05,294 --> 01:06:07,462
[laughter]
1420
01:06:07,538 --> 01:06:11,466
- I was like, okay, I can't
do this anymore, "The end."
1421
01:06:11,542 --> 01:06:13,301
- Very good.
1422
01:06:13,377 --> 01:06:15,971
- But, it is definitely
a weird feeling, writing that,
1423
01:06:16,130 --> 01:06:19,599
but it was--it left me
feeling good at the end.
1424
01:06:20,977 --> 01:06:22,885
- Me, too.
1425
01:06:22,979 --> 01:06:25,647
- I don't know for certainty
where the marriage stands right
1426
01:06:25,723 --> 01:06:29,392
now, but me speaking
for myself, like, I feel good,
1427
01:06:29,402 --> 01:06:33,071
I feel better in the past week
than I have in a long time.
1428
01:06:33,147 --> 01:06:35,657
- ♪ Can you feel it ♪
1429
01:06:35,733 --> 01:06:40,903
♪ All around and deep,
deep down ♪
1430
01:06:40,913 --> 01:06:44,490
♪ Deep, deep down ♪
1431
01:06:44,583 --> 01:06:49,921
♪ ♪
1432
01:06:49,997 --> 01:06:51,831
- Welcome.
- Thank you.
1433
01:06:51,841 --> 01:06:55,418
So even though it
wasn't long since I saw
1434
01:06:55,428 --> 01:06:58,004
you last,
in Married At First Sight time,
1435
01:06:58,014 --> 01:07:00,506
that's an eternity
because everything is so
1436
01:07:00,599 --> 01:07:05,186
packed with experiences
and changes and all that.
1437
01:07:05,262 --> 01:07:08,431
We do get reports,
all of us, all the experts,
1438
01:07:08,441 --> 01:07:10,600
but that's just a synopsis.
1439
01:07:10,609 --> 01:07:13,019
So what has happened
1440
01:07:13,029 --> 01:07:15,864
since the unanswered
questions you both had?
1441
01:07:15,939 --> 01:07:17,523
I don't know how you're
feeling, I don't know what you
1442
01:07:17,533 --> 01:07:20,452
said to each other,
catch me up a little bit.
1443
01:07:20,527 --> 01:07:24,622
- Johnny and I talked
and both agree that
1444
01:07:24,782 --> 01:07:26,875
we will work on level one.
1445
01:07:26,950 --> 01:07:30,536
- Level one is good morning?
I mean, what is level one?
1446
01:07:30,546 --> 01:07:35,792
- Level one, just nothing
that could escalate?
1447
01:07:35,801 --> 01:07:37,293
- What are
you trying to accomplish
1448
01:07:37,303 --> 01:07:38,970
with each other now?
1449
01:07:39,129 --> 01:07:42,882
[soft dramatic music]
1450
01:07:42,892 --> 01:07:45,393
Do you think you've learned
everything you can learn?
1451
01:07:45,469 --> 01:07:47,562
♪ ♪
1452
01:07:47,638 --> 01:07:49,806
- I can answer that one.
1453
01:07:49,899 --> 01:07:52,642
I don't think I've learned
everything that I can learn,
1454
01:07:52,651 --> 01:07:56,571
but I've learned everything
that--that I want to learn.
1455
01:07:56,647 --> 01:07:59,232
[dramatic notes]
1456
01:07:59,241 --> 01:08:03,653
I recently had a conversation
with Bao's best friend, Sarah.
1457
01:08:03,746 --> 01:08:06,405
She's in the market for a car
so we were talking about cars,
1458
01:08:06,415 --> 01:08:07,990
and then she goes,
"By the way, how's
1459
01:08:08,084 --> 01:08:09,242
the relationship going,
how's your marriage going?"
1460
01:08:09,251 --> 01:08:12,337
And I said, "Well,
it's not going well,
1461
01:08:12,496 --> 01:08:13,996
and this
is how I feel right now."
1462
01:08:14,006 --> 01:08:15,414
And the more I talk,
the more she's like,
1463
01:08:15,424 --> 01:08:18,426
"Oh, actually,
this totally makes sense."
1464
01:08:18,502 --> 01:08:23,098
This is what, I understand,
Bao is like in relationships.
1465
01:08:23,173 --> 01:08:25,266
[dramatic music]
1466
01:08:25,342 --> 01:08:27,844
Sarah has told me, straight up,
she would never date Bao,
1467
01:08:27,853 --> 01:08:29,437
and on top of that,
1468
01:08:29,513 --> 01:08:30,855
she would never allow any
of her friends to date Bao
1469
01:08:30,931 --> 01:08:33,432
because she is a
controlling person
1470
01:08:33,526 --> 01:08:36,528
that tries to break you down,
and then get you to the point
1471
01:08:36,603 --> 01:08:39,689
where you have no choice
but to lean on her,
1472
01:08:39,782 --> 01:08:42,200
and then she rebuilds you in
the exact image that she wants.
1473
01:08:42,276 --> 01:08:45,194
In the past,
this is what she's done.
1474
01:08:45,287 --> 01:08:48,206
And actually, that was a pretty
big turning point for me.
1475
01:08:48,282 --> 01:08:52,293
It made me want to
not try at all.
1476
01:08:52,369 --> 01:08:55,755
♪ ♪
1477
01:09:02,045 --> 01:09:05,131
- Sure, I have made my mistakes
in past relationships,
1478
01:09:05,141 --> 01:09:07,550
but none of that
is relevant right now.
1479
01:09:07,643 --> 01:09:10,636
I really wish you had told me
that you were planning to talk
1480
01:09:10,646 --> 01:09:15,150
with Sarah, and I feel
like--betrayed on both sides.
1481
01:09:15,225 --> 01:09:17,143
♪ ♪
1482
01:09:17,153 --> 01:09:20,071
This is what I'm always
afraid of, though, you know?
1483
01:09:20,147 --> 01:09:25,160
Like, I don't have that
many solid female friends.
1484
01:09:25,235 --> 01:09:29,322
Sarah is that one that
I thought I could count on.
1485
01:09:29,331 --> 01:09:31,416
[sniffles]
1486
01:09:31,491 --> 01:09:33,751
She hasn't seen how
patient I've been,
1487
01:09:33,827 --> 01:09:36,504
she hasn't seen how I've
been communicating.
1488
01:09:36,580 --> 01:09:41,000
I am trying to be accountable
for what I'm doing wrong.
1489
01:09:41,093 --> 01:09:45,504
- [sighs]
That's your opinion, right?
1490
01:09:45,514 --> 01:09:48,341
- But what she's saying,
and I think it's fair for you
1491
01:09:48,350 --> 01:09:54,013
to think about it, is, okay,
maybe this person saw Bao
1492
01:09:54,023 --> 01:09:56,682
in a different relationship,
maybe two
1493
01:09:56,692 --> 01:09:59,602
different relationships,
and those are things that Bao
1494
01:09:59,695 --> 01:10:01,779
has tried not to do,
1495
01:10:01,855 --> 01:10:04,782
and doesn't think she's doing
in this one.
1496
01:10:04,858 --> 01:10:08,110
And you may think, okay,
no, she is.
1497
01:10:08,120 --> 01:10:11,039
So the question is,
1498
01:10:11,114 --> 01:10:14,700
what did her friend
1499
01:10:14,793 --> 01:10:17,703
give you
that you felt validated by,
1500
01:10:17,713 --> 01:10:20,456
because I think the very
least she deserves is
1501
01:10:20,466 --> 01:10:22,550
the right
to counter all of that.
1502
01:10:22,626 --> 01:10:25,461
And, if you don't do
this in front of me, fine,
1503
01:10:25,554 --> 01:10:29,891
but I think it would be very
useful to Bao for you to go
1504
01:10:30,050 --> 01:10:33,469
through the conversation with
Sarah, about what you said,
1505
01:10:33,479 --> 01:10:37,398
and what she agreed, what she
told you, and what you found
1506
01:10:37,557 --> 01:10:41,227
ratified your feelings,
maybe even why you
1507
01:10:41,237 --> 01:10:43,154
believe her
as an ultimate authority,
1508
01:10:43,230 --> 01:10:44,072
because you
sure did believe her.
1509
01:10:44,147 --> 01:10:46,908
- [groans]
1510
01:10:46,984 --> 01:10:49,151
- I know you don't want
to do the emotional work,
1511
01:10:49,161 --> 01:10:52,071
but I feel there's some
1512
01:10:52,081 --> 01:10:55,992
taking in each other's
perceptions and feelings
1513
01:10:56,001 --> 01:10:58,661
that might be healing.
1514
01:10:58,671 --> 01:11:00,588
I think you owe each other that.
1515
01:11:00,664 --> 01:11:02,757
♪ ♪
1516
01:11:02,833 --> 01:11:05,001
- I would agree.
1517
01:11:05,010 --> 01:11:08,179
- ♪ Remember it's not
always how it seems ♪
1518
01:11:08,338 --> 01:11:11,182
♪ I want to do all the things
that we said we do ♪
1519
01:11:11,258 --> 01:11:13,175
♪ Be the one for you ♪
1520
01:11:13,269 --> 01:11:17,689
♪ Will you let me through,
since it's up to you? ♪
1521
01:11:17,848 --> 01:11:20,608
[soft dramatic music]
1522
01:11:20,684 --> 01:11:27,448
♪ ♪
1523
01:11:35,457 --> 01:11:40,119
- Last night,
I brought up a touchy subject,
1524
01:11:40,129 --> 01:11:44,790
and now I'm just sensing
some weird tension between us
1525
01:11:44,800 --> 01:11:49,628
and we need to address
the elephant in the room.
1526
01:11:49,638 --> 01:11:53,716
We've been up, you know,
till four in the morning,
1527
01:11:53,726 --> 01:11:56,894
just talking about everything.
1528
01:11:56,970 --> 01:12:00,139
And in order to move forward,
you know, I did have to tell
1529
01:12:00,149 --> 01:12:04,235
him that I did reach
out to an ex-boyfriend,
1530
01:12:04,311 --> 01:12:07,322
and he answered the phone,
and he was the one that
1531
01:12:07,481 --> 01:12:12,902
picked me up, and that's
where I was that night,
1532
01:12:12,911 --> 01:12:14,904
the night he locked me out.
1533
01:12:14,913 --> 01:12:17,665
[tense music]
1534
01:12:30,512 --> 01:12:34,840
- Yeah, so saying that
you stayed at an ex's house...
1535
01:12:34,850 --> 01:12:37,101
♪ ♪
1536
01:12:37,260 --> 01:12:40,513
Being clear, it was not, uh,
1537
01:12:40,606 --> 01:12:44,192
you know,
something I wanted to hear.
1538
01:12:44,267 --> 01:12:46,694
Trust has always been
a non-negotiable for me
1539
01:12:46,770 --> 01:12:50,106
in a relationship because
my dad did cheat on my mother,
1540
01:12:50,115 --> 01:12:52,024
and so when she came out and
said, "Oh, hey, by the way,
1541
01:12:52,034 --> 01:12:55,286
I stayed at my ex's house,"
I was like, okay.
1542
01:12:55,445 --> 01:12:57,538
- I knew I had to tell you,
1543
01:12:57,614 --> 01:13:00,625
I just didn't know when
the right time would be.
1544
01:13:00,700 --> 01:13:03,452
I wanted to make sure
I wasn't telling you to make
1545
01:13:03,545 --> 01:13:06,130
you jealous or to make you mad.
1546
01:13:06,206 --> 01:13:10,385
I don't want either
of us to be blindsided
1547
01:13:10,460 --> 01:13:15,798
by anything and just
always have complete honesty.
1548
01:13:15,891 --> 01:13:19,718
Like, you say, you know, causes
of divorce are financial,
1549
01:13:19,812 --> 01:13:22,054
like, to me,
what I've seen the most
1550
01:13:22,064 --> 01:13:24,723
from other people
is being unfaithful.
1551
01:13:24,733 --> 01:13:30,738
♪ ♪
1552
01:13:30,814 --> 01:13:34,066
I want to make sure my
husband never feels even slight
1553
01:13:34,076 --> 01:13:37,903
suspicion, you know,
that I'm being unfaithful,
1554
01:13:37,913 --> 01:13:40,248
and I don't
want to feel that from you.
1555
01:13:40,407 --> 01:13:42,992
- Yeah, I'd hope that
you wouldn't do that
1556
01:13:43,001 --> 01:13:46,412
because you're married now.
1557
01:13:46,422 --> 01:13:48,414
When you were dating,
it was possibly something that
1558
01:13:48,424 --> 01:13:51,917
was a little different,
now that you're married, um,
1559
01:13:51,927 --> 01:13:54,429
it's a more serious situation
than just dating, right?
1560
01:13:54,504 --> 01:13:57,014
There are things about
Rachel's past that worry me,
1561
01:13:57,090 --> 01:13:59,600
but in a marriage,
when you trust someone,
1562
01:13:59,676 --> 01:14:01,427
you trust someone.
1563
01:14:01,437 --> 01:14:04,355
The guards will definitely
be up, you know,
1564
01:14:04,431 --> 01:14:05,681
but I'm taking
it at face value and
1565
01:14:05,774 --> 01:14:07,266
I'm trusting her.
1566
01:14:07,359 --> 01:14:08,943
- You know,
I never want you to feel
1567
01:14:09,102 --> 01:14:13,022
that I'm keeping anything
from you or nothing,
1568
01:14:13,031 --> 01:14:17,193
just pure
transparency and honesty.
1569
01:14:17,202 --> 01:14:21,873
- ♪ Oh, it feels like demons
come break my bones ♪
1570
01:14:21,948 --> 01:14:25,042
♪ If you got reasons,
tell me lies ♪
1571
01:14:29,631 --> 01:14:32,124
[tense music]
1572
01:14:32,217 --> 01:14:34,793
♪ ♪
1573
01:14:34,803 --> 01:14:38,214
- So coming out of that
talk with Dr. Pepper, I feel
1574
01:14:38,307 --> 01:14:42,968
like it would benefit both of
us to talk about some things.
1575
01:14:42,978 --> 01:14:45,146
- Yeah.
1576
01:14:45,222 --> 01:14:49,058
- What do you think about it,
about our session?
1577
01:14:49,067 --> 01:14:51,810
- Uh, it was good one.
1578
01:14:51,820 --> 01:14:53,988
- Okay.
1579
01:14:54,064 --> 01:14:57,650
♪ ♪
1580
01:14:57,659 --> 01:15:02,404
- I really hate dragging
Sarah into this because I feel
1581
01:15:02,498 --> 01:15:04,916
like she had--when she
spoke with me about this stuff,
1582
01:15:04,991 --> 01:15:06,909
I feel like
she had good intentions,
1583
01:15:06,919 --> 01:15:10,922
she felt like I was distressed,
and she just wanted to validate
1584
01:15:10,997 --> 01:15:14,583
so that someone understood
what I was going through.
1585
01:15:14,593 --> 01:15:16,502
- There's a reason why
1586
01:15:16,595 --> 01:15:18,846
I haven't shared anything
with Sarah
1587
01:15:19,005 --> 01:15:21,349
because I know she's not going
to give me the best advice.
1588
01:15:21,424 --> 01:15:23,509
She doesn't tell me
there's positives in this,
1589
01:15:23,519 --> 01:15:24,769
maybe you should look
at it from this angle,
1590
01:15:24,844 --> 01:15:26,178
it's always like,
"Let's move on."
1591
01:15:26,188 --> 01:15:28,013
- Yeah.
1592
01:15:28,023 --> 01:15:30,191
- And that's why I don't
tell her because I'm married,
1593
01:15:30,267 --> 01:15:32,360
and I want to commit,
and I want to do what I
1594
01:15:32,435 --> 01:15:34,436
can to make it better, she
doesn't give me that advice.
1595
01:15:34,446 --> 01:15:37,273
Instead, it's just negative
and move on,
1596
01:15:37,282 --> 01:15:39,033
cut your losses, move on.
1597
01:15:39,109 --> 01:15:41,369
I don't think, in any way,
that that was actually
1598
01:15:41,528 --> 01:15:45,206
a good idea for either
of you to talk, and...
1599
01:15:45,282 --> 01:15:46,958
- Yeah, but...
1600
01:15:47,033 --> 01:15:49,043
- Utterly, utterly disappointed
1601
01:15:49,119 --> 01:15:50,369
and betrayed that that happened.
1602
01:15:50,379 --> 01:15:52,538
- Okay.
1603
01:15:52,548 --> 01:15:54,707
- That was the worst person
you could probably have
1604
01:15:54,716 --> 01:15:57,051
talked to at the time,
and it also disappoints
1605
01:15:57,127 --> 01:15:59,128
me from a best friend
perspective because I know
1606
01:15:59,137 --> 01:16:01,380
I wouldn't
have done that to her.
1607
01:16:01,390 --> 01:16:02,974
♪ ♪
1608
01:16:03,133 --> 01:16:05,810
What did
you and Sarah talk about?
1609
01:16:05,885 --> 01:16:07,979
- She asked
if I'd given you, like,
1610
01:16:08,054 --> 01:16:10,731
if I'd taken time
to understand you,
1611
01:16:10,807 --> 01:16:14,902
and she asked me, like,
can you wake up to this
1612
01:16:14,978 --> 01:16:18,739
and go to sleep with this
for the rest of your life?
1613
01:16:18,815 --> 01:16:20,566
And I said no.
1614
01:16:20,576 --> 01:16:25,162
And when a relationship
has gotten to that point,
1615
01:16:25,322 --> 01:16:27,406
we need to just walk away.
1616
01:16:27,416 --> 01:16:31,827
♪ ♪
1617
01:16:31,920 --> 01:16:36,591
I don't want to do any
more harm than I already have.
1618
01:16:36,666 --> 01:16:39,501
So I'm done talking
1619
01:16:39,595 --> 01:16:41,754
because the things that I would
say would be very damaging.
1620
01:16:41,763 --> 01:16:43,889
♪ ♪
1621
01:16:47,102 --> 01:16:48,260
- Okay.
1622
01:16:48,270 --> 01:16:52,848
♪ ♪
1623
01:16:52,941 --> 01:16:57,770
I'm still here, if you want to
have talks, I'm open to them.
1624
01:16:57,863 --> 01:17:00,272
Once again,
ball in your court, Johnny.
1625
01:17:00,282 --> 01:17:03,776
♪ ♪
1626
01:17:03,785 --> 01:17:07,363
- Do you see, like,
this is why I feel like
1627
01:17:07,372 --> 01:17:12,543
it's always blame Johnny game?
1628
01:17:12,619 --> 01:17:15,379
The way that
you just phrased that,
1629
01:17:15,538 --> 01:17:20,384
you're still here,
you're still trying.
1630
01:17:20,460 --> 01:17:23,804
- I feel like I have
to walk on egg shells.
1631
01:17:23,880 --> 01:17:28,643
- I definitely do not have
an appetite to finish this.
1632
01:17:28,718 --> 01:17:33,055
- I guess I'll drink
this one and eat your food.
1633
01:17:33,065 --> 01:17:35,566
The rest of the
champagne bottle is mine.
1634
01:17:35,725 --> 01:17:38,477
- You can have it.
Good night.
1635
01:17:38,487 --> 01:17:41,322
- Good?
1636
01:17:41,398 --> 01:17:46,327
♪ ♪
1637
01:17:50,582 --> 01:17:53,242
- Back to yoga pants.
1638
01:17:53,251 --> 01:17:56,337
[upbeat music]
1639
01:17:56,413 --> 01:18:02,084
♪ ♪
1640
01:18:02,094 --> 01:18:04,169
- Welcome back.
- Yeah.
1641
01:18:04,179 --> 01:18:06,514
- Maisey hasn't been here,
right? Crazy.
1642
01:18:06,589 --> 01:18:08,182
- Be free.
1643
01:18:08,258 --> 01:18:10,509
♪ ♪
1644
01:18:10,519 --> 01:18:12,928
- I forgot about your wall.
- Forgot about it?
1645
01:18:12,938 --> 01:18:15,106
That's the best part
about my apartment.
1646
01:18:16,766 --> 01:18:19,935
Um, well, I had a good time.
1647
01:18:19,945 --> 01:18:21,854
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
1648
01:18:21,863 --> 01:18:24,523
I was really excited
to show you these.
1649
01:18:24,533 --> 01:18:26,283
- What you got?
1650
01:18:26,359 --> 01:18:28,953
Maisey, do you want
to come and see?
1651
01:18:29,028 --> 01:18:32,540
- But, um, not feeling
too much like talking about
1652
01:18:32,615 --> 01:18:35,876
my childhood and going
through pictures together.
1653
01:18:35,952 --> 01:18:38,620
Got a text from a friend,
like ten minutes ago...
1654
01:18:38,630 --> 01:18:41,540
[soft dramatic music]
1655
01:18:41,550 --> 01:18:43,375
That...
1656
01:18:43,385 --> 01:18:46,971
♪ ♪
1657
01:18:47,046 --> 01:18:50,057
Showed that
you are on a dating app...
1658
01:18:50,133 --> 01:18:53,552
♪ ♪
1659
01:18:53,562 --> 01:18:57,222
And matched
with someone that I know.
1660
01:18:57,232 --> 01:18:58,899
- [sighs]
1661
01:18:58,975 --> 01:19:02,478
[downbeat music]
1662
01:19:02,487 --> 01:19:08,743
- I did download it today,
then it's not active right now.
1663
01:19:08,902 --> 01:19:12,571
I can show you it's
not active right now.
1664
01:19:12,664 --> 01:19:14,081
- Well, you matched
with someone today.
1665
01:19:14,157 --> 01:19:16,825
- Uh, I don't know.
1666
01:19:16,835 --> 01:19:20,579
[soft tense music]
1667
01:19:20,589 --> 01:19:24,583
- Got like one week left, man,
couldn't have waited?
1668
01:19:24,676 --> 01:19:28,587
Waited a week
to jump back in there?
1669
01:19:28,597 --> 01:19:31,590
- I wasn't even
jumping back in there.
1670
01:19:31,600 --> 01:19:33,759
I mean, I can show you
that I didn't talk to anybody.
1671
01:19:33,769 --> 01:19:36,937
♪ ♪
1672
01:19:37,013 --> 01:19:42,684
- I mean, she said that
y'all matched today, so...
1673
01:19:42,694 --> 01:19:44,937
I think he's afraid of being
honest in a relationship.
1674
01:19:44,946 --> 01:19:46,522
I do think there's a factor
of, like,
1675
01:19:46,531 --> 01:19:48,115
wanting to be with a person.
1676
01:19:48,191 --> 01:19:50,618
You obviously are going to
take more steps towards
1677
01:19:50,693 --> 01:19:53,537
that and try harder,
but I can only go off
1678
01:19:53,613 --> 01:19:56,698
of what I see, and to me,
honesty, not his strong suit.
1679
01:19:56,708 --> 01:19:59,460
No.
1680
01:19:59,536 --> 01:20:02,955
I don't think that's right.
- Yeah, no, I agree.
1681
01:20:02,964 --> 01:20:04,540
- It doesn't line up
with the things that
1682
01:20:04,549 --> 01:20:09,294
you say and--about respect.
1683
01:20:09,304 --> 01:20:12,306
So if it's about respect,
that ain't it.
1684
01:20:12,465 --> 01:20:15,810
- [sighs]
1685
01:20:15,885 --> 01:20:20,305
- Respect is a big deal
and you made that very clear.
1686
01:20:20,315 --> 01:20:25,152
- I'm sorry,
that that came up that way.
1687
01:20:25,311 --> 01:20:27,980
I mean, I would like
to show you that I didn't
1688
01:20:27,989 --> 01:20:33,661
talk to anybody or that
it's not even active, but...
1689
01:20:33,820 --> 01:20:36,997
- Yeah, I don't see
how that's gonna help.
1690
01:20:37,156 --> 01:20:39,625
You obviously downloaded it
for a reason.
1691
01:20:42,420 --> 01:20:44,672
- I'll get out of here.
1692
01:20:44,747 --> 01:20:46,674
- Okay, all right.
1693
01:20:46,749 --> 01:20:53,514
♪ ♪
1694
01:21:03,692 --> 01:21:05,434
- I mean,
I don't care if she sees it,
1695
01:21:05,443 --> 01:21:07,027
but I'm gonna show you that
it's been disabled on my phone.
1696
01:21:11,283 --> 01:21:13,868
- None of us know how
to be married because we don't
1697
01:21:13,943 --> 01:21:16,203
really know what marriage is
and we've never been married.
1698
01:21:16,279 --> 01:21:19,290
But the difference between
Ryan and I is I know
1699
01:21:19,365 --> 01:21:23,118
what it takes to be
in a relationship.
1700
01:21:23,128 --> 01:21:27,214
I know what it takes to have
one, and I approach this
1701
01:21:27,290 --> 01:21:32,628
with that mindset, but Ryan, he
didn't start it off that way.
1702
01:21:32,637 --> 01:21:38,884
- ♪ Let it burn, oh ♪
[notification chimes]
1703
01:21:38,894 --> 01:21:41,061
- Oh, this mother[bleep]er
just texted me his, uh--
1704
01:21:52,982 --> 01:21:56,234
That doesn't matter.
That doesn't matter at all.
1705
01:21:56,244 --> 01:21:59,246
♪ ♪
1706
01:21:59,322 --> 01:22:04,076
- ♪ Hey ♪
1707
01:22:04,085 --> 01:22:10,841
♪ ♪
1708
01:22:13,336 --> 01:22:14,920
[cheers and laughter]
1709
01:22:14,930 --> 01:22:16,922
- Next time
on "Married At First Sight."
1710
01:22:16,932 --> 01:22:18,507
- I trust that you're
not going to let someone
1711
01:22:18,516 --> 01:22:20,601
treat you like a doormat.
1712
01:22:20,677 --> 01:22:22,770
- With only one week
left until Decision Day...
1713
01:22:22,845 --> 01:22:24,596
- I feel for him so much.
- Right.
1714
01:22:24,606 --> 01:22:26,848
- Our couples will
have a chance to talk
1715
01:22:26,858 --> 01:22:30,527
to their trusted loved one
before making the most
1716
01:22:30,603 --> 01:22:32,771
important decision
of their lives.
1717
01:22:32,864 --> 01:22:36,191
- I can't see being happy
with you.
1718
01:22:36,201 --> 01:22:37,701
- There are feelings there.
1719
01:22:37,777 --> 01:22:39,361
- She's in this
for the right reasons.
1720
01:22:39,371 --> 01:22:40,862
She's an amazing woman. Who
knows what the future holds?
1721
01:22:40,872 --> 01:22:43,040
- He's like, "Will you spend
the night," and I'm like...
1722
01:22:43,199 --> 01:22:44,282
- Did you spend the night?
1723
01:22:44,292 --> 01:22:46,952
- I did.
- Oh!
1724
01:22:46,962 --> 01:22:49,705
- There's a drastic difference
in our incomes.
1725
01:22:49,714 --> 01:22:53,625
- You kind of [bleep] people
that aren't where you're at.
1726
01:22:53,635 --> 01:22:57,462
- That argument to me
is gonna mean the end.
1727
01:22:57,472 --> 01:23:00,641
- It does take two people
to sustain the marriage.
1728
01:23:00,717 --> 01:23:03,894
♪ ♪
1729
01:23:03,970 --> 01:23:07,147
It just takes one person
to end the marriage.