- I'm ready. Let's go. Let's go.
- Holy [bleep].
I've been dreaming about this moment for my whole life.
- Please stand.
- Just over five weeks ago,
10 singles took a brave leap of faith
in order to find love.
- Hi. [laughter]
- They married as complete strangers.
- You may kiss your bride.
[cheers and applause]
- I took a leap of faith,
and I can't wait to grow together with this person.
- Last time, our couples continued
to learn more about each other
as they dealt with the ups and downs of daily life.
[laughter]
- "Even though we married at first sight,
"I'm still loving you all day and all night,
always and for the rest of my life."
- That was my first time hearing him say
that he was loving me in a forever type of way.
Feels good to hear him say that.
- I'm comparing Bao to the ideal person
that I thought I'd be married to,
and I'm constantly comparing her to that.
- Now, Johnny, that is a sabotage.
That's impossible. No one can live up to that standard!
That person needs to be destroyed.
- Y'all ain't had no disagreements,
or no arguments, no nothing?
- Disagreements? The dog stuff.
She's not a dog person.
Well, fast forward, now...
[upbeat music]
- A complete 180.
[bleep] damn. - Bro, complete 180.
- I'm still struggling with this,
and it sucks to have that uncertainty and doubt.
- If you don't want to be with me,
then please don't be with me.
But, like, he needs to say it, because it's frustrating
to not just be told what it is in black and white terms.
♪ ♪
- I've never been in a relationship during the summer.
It's scary-- - 'Cause you've been single,
and then you just travel or do whatever you want.
- You could not criticize me one bit,
'cause I would be, like, out the door.
- So, there's a little bit of trust issue there, of,
is she gonna stay in the marriage
if it's not going her way?
♪ ♪
- [vocalizing]
- Tonight...
- Johnny. - I got it.
- With less than three weeks left until Decision Day...
- Go team! Go team!
- How are you, my dear?
Dr. Pepper and I will sit down
with each spouse, individually...
- Nice to see you again.
- To find out what unanswered questions
still linger in their marriages.
- I know it's going good,
but it can derail at any moment.
- I think I knew I would be happy in marriage, but...
♪ ♪
- I'm gonna stay open to it.
- I would be willing to keep trying.
- I want to be able to trust my wife,
but, you know, it's tough.
- My husband has a temper.
He can be vindictive.
- Do you want this more than you don't want it?
- He's not happy.
- I don't understand why should we sleep--
We should sleep in separate rooms right now.
I don't get--that doesn't help anything; that only hurts.
Nothing I ever do in life is good enough.
♪ ♪
- Tonight's conversation, all of that's lost right now.
- If Johnny doesn't figure this [bleep] out for himself,
he's never gonna be happy.
- For 15 years, we could have dated.
I wasn't attracted to you.
♪ ♪
- ♪ It's all or nothing ♪
- This is "Married at First Sight."
- ♪ There's no other way ♪
♪ ♪
♪ It's all or nothing ♪
- ♪ Time stops fading in and out ♪
♪ Will they sink or will they swim? ♪
♪ I think it's time to decide ♪
- So, this is what my wife does on a normal day.
Just laying in bed, being a bum.
Say hello. - Hello.
- When you gonna stop being a bum?
- When I want to.
- Is that gonna be anytime soon?
- Probably not.
- Our couples are now fully immersed in married life,
and they're finding out about all the little things
that irritate them about their spouse.
- So, concerns that I have--
And granted, we live a crazy, hectic life,
but this is very alarming to me.
- But they still have to learn how to move past their issues
and see things from their partner's perspective.
- Just a few minutes in.
We got about a little under a hour to go, so.
- We're not doing an hour.
- A little under an hour.
- Oh, my God. [laughter]
- You see what I gotta deal with, people?
- Because in less than three weeks,
they'll have to make the decision
as to whether they'll stay married or get a divorce.
♪ ♪
- ♪ Falling ♪
♪ ♪
- ♪ Everybody, get it now ♪
- ♪ Everybody, hold on ♪
♪ Everybody's waiting, whoo ♪
♪ Falling ♪
- Everybody, get it now ♪
- ♪ Falling ♪
- What's up, man? - Ryan.
- You bring your own stick, or you just casually playing?
How are you?
- Just waiting for a worthy opponent, man.
- I don't know if that's me or not.
What are you up to?
How was your day? How was y'all's day?
I know y'all have been busy this week.
- Super busy. You have too, actually.
- You're getting what you asked for, it sounds like.
- Yeah. [chuckles]
I am getting what I asked for.
The past few days have been really fun.
I asked Bao to try doing things--
Schedule dates, be open.
And I do think she is making an effort.
Like, we went bowling last night.
You know, high-fiving and kind of cheering each other on.
Bao, we've played two games so far.
What have the results been?
♪ ♪
- Look, it's not about numbers.
It's about having fun.
- Oh, yeah. Are you having fun?
- Yes. - [laughs] I'm having fun.
- So much fun. - I'm having fun.
Let's go--let's go show them the scoreboard real quick.
- No, no, we don't need to fixate on things like numbers.
Numbers are irrelevant. It's all about having fun.
We don't need to see. No, you don't need to see that.
You don't need to see that!
You don't need-- That's irrelevant.
I'm not tall enough. That's not fair!
[laughter]
- It felt natural-- Like a natural moment.
Nothing felt forced. - Yeah.
I can't force it anymore.
I tried forcing it for a few weeks,
and I wasn't--
It wasn't real.
♪ ♪
- Does it make you sad, though? - Yeah.
She hasn't done anything wrong.
I'm left feeling like I did something wrong,
even though I don't think that I did anything wrong.
- Man, I feel that right now too.
♪ ♪
She feels like I don't appreciate
the things that she does.
And I feel like she's not doing anything
that I'm asking her to do, before this week.
This week, she's actually trying pretty hard.
Almost trying too hard.
- Yeah. No, I understand.
I definitely get the "trying too hard" thing.
Just ignore all the issues, and keep chugging along.
[laughter]
♪ ♪
- Could you, at any point, find yourself
looking at all the things you don't like
and just be, like--focus on just the positive stuff?
- No. That's unrealistic. You don't get to do that.
- 'Cause I'm trying to do that, and I'm wondering
if that's, like-- - You can't.
That's--I mean, I understand. - A useful exercise.
- That might be useful, but it's not real.
It's not how you go-- You can't go through life
just disregarding the bad.
♪ ♪
- Ryan and I hang out a lot, and I feel like
he really understands what I'm going through,
I understand what he's going through.
But sometimes it feels like
he is very negative about this entire situation.
It's not helpful.
♪ ♪
- I'm not trying to discourage you in any regard.
But, I don't know,
I feel like if you're going against what you're feeling,
it's just a no-win situation, but.
- Maybe if I--if I start showing my appreciation
for her, we'll get to a better place.
'Cause I do-- I do sometimes feel like
there's some positive stuff here,
despite all the freaking red flags.
- Yeah.
You just gotta listen to yourself, man.
Whatever way that tells you to go.
♪ ♪
- Hey. - [gasps]
- How's it going? - Hello.
- You have a good day? - Yeah. Pretty good.
How was your day? - Oh, it was good. Yeah.
- You hung out with Ryan, right?
- I hung out with Ryan. We played some pool.
- Oh, you did? - Ryan--Ryan's probably--
We joked around about this downstairs, actually.
- Mm-hmm.
- Ryan might be the last guy I needed to talk to,
'cause I'm a better place in our relationship
than Ryan's at.
♪ ♪
But just looking back, I feel like
the lack of foundation in a few very important areas--
Trust, communication,
and having, like, a solid friendship--
Those three things, to me, are lacking,
and we wouldn't have a lot of the arguments
that we've had so far
if those three things were really strong.
- Hmm.
- Do you disagree?
- I do. - Okay.
- Because, for me, going into a marriage
with the intention of just pure friendship
is counterintuitive
to wanting emotional intimacy and romance and all that stuff.
♪ ♪
When we first got into big arguments,
and then you felt like the emotional intimacy
was declining
and, you know, you were needing that spark again--
- Mm-hmm.
- We met with Dr. Viviana,
and she was trying to give us ideas on how to be more--
You know, spice it up, bring more intimacy in.
And instead, we're taking all of that out.
- The thing is, like, the physical part--
- Why?
- Is because I don't feel anything from it.
♪ ♪
- Don't give me that BS.
- I'm doing it just to do the motions.
- It's very frustrating,
because I know there was a time when there was a spark.
- Whoa. Whoa! [laughter]
She has got a great ass.
- Do you have any tension that you want me to help release?
- Uh...
Yeah, let's say it's in my back.
♪ ♪
- I don't know if Johnny sees the hypocrisy.
- Like, to me, I don't want to just have sex.
I don't want to just kiss you for the sake of kissing you.
And that's why I said,
let's take that out of this right now,
because I'm not there yet.
For me, physical intimacy
is a by-product of emotional attachment.
- Right, but you're saying this is the approach
that you feel will work for you.
- For me. That's all I can do.
- Okay, but the marriage consists of both of us.
And I am feeling forced
to just go with what you feel works for you.
♪ ♪
- [sighs] I don't know what to tell you.
♪ ♪
[sighs] Oh, God.
♪ ♪
We don't have to do this.
We really don't.
- You need a break?
- I just--I just need a little minute real quick, because--
- We're just talking. - This is--this is--
This is insane. This is incredible.
- Why--why are you blowing up? - This is incredible.
- Why are you blowing up? We're just talking.
- Hold on, hold on, hold on. - We're just talking.
Please tell me why you are leaving.
We are literally just talking.
♪ ♪
I feel that Johnny is not happy,
because he doesn't want to be.
Johnny does not want to put in the work
to make the marriage work.
And I honestly feel
that if Johnny doesn't figure this [bleep] out for himself,
he's never gonna be happy, in any relationship.
- I want to say so many things.
- Then say them, please,
so I understand what you're thinking.
- I want to say so many things. Look. Look, Bao.
- 'Cause I don't right now. - Oh, God.
My thinking behind this is,
I feel like certain things are lacking on the foundation.
I want to build the foundation.
And I feel like this week has been off
to a really good start.
The dates we've been on have been--felt very lighthearted.
Literally, I'm just trying to get to know you better.
- Mm-hmm. - And we're having fun.
We're having lighthearted conversations.
We're have heart-to-hearts, and it's making me
feel stronger about the relationship.
Tonight's conversation,
all of that's lost right now,
because you're telling me
strengthening the foundation's not gonna work.
- I didn't say that.
I feel you can strengthen a foundation
by just going in and dating, for example.
- Right. - Having the romance already.
- You saying that you don't want to work on friendship,
when the friendship has been working for me--
- Yeah, friendship has been working. I agree.
Friendship has been working for me too.
But that's not marriage. - It is--it is the soil
of what I think something beautiful can blossom out of.
- We definitely both went into this marriage
with different approaches and different expectations.
For me, I just kind of feel like we're trying to figure out
how to make that work, and I don't--
There's some things that I'm just at that point
where I'm like, I don't know if we can work through that.
- ♪ There's always something more ♪
♪ Love's not always true ♪
♪ ♪
♪ We come like a ♪
♪ Tidal wave ♪
♪ ♪
- ♪ And I pull up ♪
♪ Give me the dream I adore ♪
- I made steak and sweet potatoes and asparagus.
- Make sure y'all noticing I'm putting ketchup
on my sweet potatoes, not on my steak.
- He's putting it on his steak.
- Absolutely not. [laughter]
- Today, Pastor Cal and I are meeting
with each spouse individually
to help them figure out what unanswered questions
they might have about their spouse.
- Bao, what's going on?
- I'm just tidying up a little bit.
- There are less than three weeks left
until Decision Day.
We want to make sure that they examine
every relevant issue
in order to decide whether they want to stay married
or whether they want to get a divorce.
- ♪ Nothing to lose, everything to win ♪
♪ Gonna do it my way, then do it again ♪
♪ ♪
- Getting ready to go see Pastor Cal.
You know, Pastor Cal's a cool dude.
I like talking to him. Very wise dude.
But the most--the main reason I like talking to him:
he's very straightforward.
He's very-- He's, like, "Cut the BS.
Tell me how it is straight up," and I love that.
Hey. - How you doing, buddy?
- I'm doing awesome. - That's good, man.
♪ ♪
How's married life?
- Now that I finally got my kiss,
I feel real good about married life.
- Aww, suki suki! All right.
[laughter]
What do you feel are some of the reasons
that we matched you guys?
- She's very caring. She's very loving, right?
And, you know, I'm a person-- And I'm very passionate.
So, like, we get along very well.
And we're very honest.
We don't sugarcoat anything. It's direct.
I'm not scared to tell her anything.
- Okay.
Now, I know that, right now, you guys are in a good place,
but I want you to start thinking about Decision Day,
and not just about the fact that it's going good now.
You understand what I'm saying?
And so, are there any unanswered questions
that can make you say no on Decision Day?
♪ ♪
- Um... man.
♪ ♪
Sometimes she gets in her little moods,
and her demeanor changes.
And then, she gets short, and she gets very negative.
She becomes a Debbie Downer. - Debbie Downer.
- Princesa.
Aren't you paddleboarding?
- No, because it's kind of cold.
And falling off, no.
Is this a bumpy road?
- It's gonna be bumpy taking off.
- Oh, my God. This is gonna be terrible.
Like, I already know it.
- Ooh!
"Take a body shot."
- Yeah, we're not gonna do that.
- Why not?
- I have never done body shots,
and it's not something that I would want to do.
- Golly!
- You feel like her negativity or her tantrums--
You feel like any of that's too much for you,
or that it will be too much for you?
♪ ♪
- Yes.
♪ ♪
I've told her straight up.
I'm like, "Look, this is not gonna be--"
- Right. - "You know,
we're not have this," you know what I'm saying?
Like, "I'm not about to let your negativity affect me."
♪ ♪
- In her previous relationships, do you think
people have given her her way when she had tantrums?
- Yes. For sure. - Yeah.
- 'Cause she's a alpha, at the end of the day, so--
- She'll run over you, if you let her.
- Yeah. Exactly. She can.
♪ ♪
- I need you guys to have that proactive conversation.
Ask her, "Why is your reaction the way it is?"
'Cause negativity is like a cancer to a relationship.
That is a problem that's affecting both of you.
- Yeah. It can derail at any moment, you know.
- It could.
♪ ♪
- ♪ 6:00 a.m., she wakes up just to do her makeup ♪
♪ Every day, she paints it on ♪
♪ She don't wear enough, though, now it's too much ♪
♪ Oh, every day, she gets it wrong ♪
- I was a little nervous, but now I'm feeling lovely
after I've had 25¢ martinis.
[music fades]
♪ ♪
- Oh! I was expecting you to come from that way.
- I was like, oh, it's a long walk.
- Yeah, I know. I think you--
Oh, well. Hi. [laughter]
♪ ♪
- Oh, another day in happy town here, guys.
That is the mood right now. Need I say more?
♪ ♪
- You're very smiley, Myrla.
- [giggles shyly]
- Now, I know you have been out partying with your friends
before you came here. - I know!
- And I want you to know that you're not sober yet.
But what I want to talk to you about,
of course, is your marriage.
There are less than three weeks left until Decision Day.
What are the questions that you would like to ask him
in order to feel comfortable
about saying yes on Decision Day?
♪ ♪
- Um...
I think, for me, my question to him is,
what do you need from me
to make sure that you're okay and happy?
And if I'm not giving you what you need, like,
what do you need from me?
What am I not doing enough of?
Because I want this to work out.
♪ ♪
- Well, I know you've got high standards,
and you've earned them, so I respect that.
I have noticed that you're a very critical human being.
You know, a lot of this--
- I am, Dr. Pepper. [laughter]
Our neighbors are kind of close, though.
You don't think?
My pool is better than that pool.
Can you get in the water from here, though?
I just see, like, murky grass.
You know what's missing?
The sound of the ocean waves.
Obviously, you've seen, Dr. Pepper,
there is, like, this much filter to my--
To the things that I say.
Like, I can't bite my tongue and not say things,
because I'm so honest and blunt.
- I get that,
but I do think a constant rain of criticism changes the mood.
♪ ♪
And that could become a big problem in your marriage.
♪ ♪
Do you feel grateful that he's in your life?
- I do.
This morning, we woke up, and I was like,
"Man, I'm--you make me so happy every day."
It's just so amazing.
Like, above and beyond what I even expected was, like--
You pray for things, but you don't think that--
You know, you never really think
that these things will happen.
Like, he's so thoughtful.
And that's why I'm, like, I made the choice to love you.
So much good in his heart.
I think everything that I imagined a husband would be,
he's just, like--like, an extra step above that.
I never thought that would be possible.
And because of that,
I made the choice to love my husband.
♪ ♪
I think I knew I would be happy in marriage, but...
I didn't think that, you know,
I would get everything I wanted and more in marriage.
♪ ♪
I'm very happy. [giggles shyly]
- I love hearing that.
But, of course, there are two people in this marriage.
And if you don't start working on your negativity soon,
you could lose him.
And you don't want that to happen.
♪ ♪
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- ♪ When we're apart ♪
- Zack and I had our moments already,
and I don't think at this point neither--either one of us
are ignoring anything in our marriage.
I think we are both paying full attention,
because we want this marriage. We want to be together.
And so, I hope that he uses this moment to be honest
and truthful and open.
So, here goes nothing.
♪ ♪
- How you doing? - I'm great. Thank you.
- Hey, Pastor Cal.
- How are you, my dear? - What's up?
- Oh, my gosh. Good to see you.
- Good to see you too.
♪ ♪
- How have things been going?
- Things have been going a lot better.
- Okay.
- But it's like, I have to take it step-by-step.
We've only been one week in of a good time.
We had three, four weeks of a bad time.
So, it's still--
- It's still new. - Still new.
- And that's fine.
But you guys only have three weeks to decide
whether you're going to stay married or get a divorce.
And you have to know who this person is that you're marrying.
♪ ♪
Why do you think we matched you guys?
- Uh, I can tell we're both goofy.
[chuckles] We both like a challenge.
We both are ambitious.
We both are strong-headed.
[chuckles]
- So, what are some of the questions that you have
that maybe are unanswered about Zack?
Can you think of anything?
- I guess what I'm wondering is
the actual picture of marriage he had.
- Mm.
- What did that look like for him?
Because he says how badly he wanted this marriage.
- I remember. Yeah.
- What did that look like?
- That's an awesome question,
because quite often, we judge our marriages
by this often unrealistic picture
of what we think marriage ought to be.
What are you expecting from your relationship?
And what do-- What do you want from him?
- I want him to be happy.
- Why is that a request? Tell me more about that.
- Because if he's not happy, it does--it kind of affects me,
because I live with you. You're my partner.
And I don't need that happiness coming from me.
I don't want to be the source of that happiness,
because if I disappear, you know, in any kind of way,
I'd hate for you to be unhappy. I want you to be happy, period.
- Is it possible that maybe
a lot of his happiness can come from you?
- That's just a lot of responsibility,
to be responsible for another grown person's happiness.
- Okay, but this is your husband.
- True. - And you are his wife.
And people have this idea that all your happiness
has to be self-generated.
You know, "I need you to be a happy person,
"and I can be a happy person. We can be happy together.
And, hey!" And that sounds good, right?
I'm not responsible for my wife's happiness.
- Mm-hmm.
- But for me to say that I'm not contributing
to her happiness-- No, that's crazy.
♪ ♪
- I think we're both just taking it day-by-day,
step-by-step, and trying to get better.
But, he's complicated.
And he's--you know, in whatever, you know,
state of unhappiness he's in,
or funk, or dissatisfaction, or whatever,
I'm not 100% sure what's going on.
I know happy Zack, and I see not-so-happy Zack,
and I want him to be happy.
- What can be done
to create a safe place for happy Zack to return?
- Mm-hmm.
- I mean, is that something, do you think,
that you might want to know?
Because, I mean, you were saying
you want to know how to get to happy Zack.
- I want Zack to know how to get to happy Zack.
- Absolutely. But you have to be a participating party.
- Yes. Mm-hmm.
- He can't get there without you. I mean, you're married.
Look, this is not about him getting places on his own.
You gotta work like hell
to make sure that it becomes what you want it to be.
And that ball is in both of your courts.
- Yeah. - If you want to be
long-term, married to Zack, then you can be.
♪ ♪
Do you want this more than you don't want it?
♪ ♪
- You know, we get told just, you know,
kind of what's going on. - Mm-hmm.
- But I don't get to talk to you about it.
- Yeah.
- So, tell me what you think of your marriage so far.
- So, we started off doing really good.
And then, some things have happened.
Then, we kind of worked through issues, and--
To where we are today, which is a good spot.
But, to me, it seems like it's, like, a choice, right?
Like, if I apply these rules or these methods,
then, you know, this could work out, no matter what.
It's missing the element of just, like,
meant to be, as opposed to, like,
you're actively choosing this marriage to work.
♪ ♪
That's why I go back and forth between I'm happy now,
but then hold on, am I, like, really just convincing myself?
I don't know. It's just--it's a very difficult situation.
- I understand. And I think those are profound questions.
I really do. I don't think--
- Yeah. - I have to tell you, honestly,
from who I am--I don't think things were meant to be.
♪ ♪
I think things are opportunities.
And so, what we did is pick a woman
that we think is very good for you.
- Mm-hmm. - I mean,
not only is she attractive and successful and smart,
she has a lot of heart. - Yeah, no, I see all that.
I definitely see why we were matched.
- And so, if you're lucky enough
to get these raw materials-- - Mm-hmm.
- You get this opportunity-- - Yeah.
- Then, to get the traction
to make them sing and grow and be better.
- Yeah.
- So, what answers do you need to say yes on Decision Day?
♪ ♪
- It is as simple as just, like--
The last week has been amazing,
so just hanging out, going on dates.
If we can--if we can continue that and this,
then I think that's all I need.
And if we keep this up, then I am--
I am optimistic for the future.
- Well, I think that's wonderful. I do.
But there--but there are a few things that I think we've seen
that maybe you want to get some direction on from her.
- Yeah. - You know, one of them
was just maybe how you can make her feel more secure,
to bring the best out in her. - Yeah.
- Insecurity in relationship never--never does good stuff.
- That is very important to me,
'cause I want her to be herself, right?
I don't want her to be tiptoeing around
who she really is, just because she's scared
that if she says something, that I'm gonna,
you know, change my mind or something like that.
So, I'm definitely gonna talk to her about that.
♪ ♪
- With any conversation,
the first thing is to try to avoid extreme terms.
- Mm-hmm.
- And always to ask questions.
Questions are just always the right thing to reach for.
- Yeah. I'm thinking back to, like, all of our disagreements,
and I'm wondering if I--
Did I always ask the right questions?
I don't think I did all the time.
♪ ♪
And I'm getting sad, because, like...
♪ ♪
What the? [sobbing softly]
♪ ♪
Like, I realize...
I'm--I'm a perfectionist,
and so, like, nothing I ever do in life is good enough.
♪ ♪
- Oh, Zack. - And so--
♪ ♪
And so, I put that on other people,
including putting it on my, like--
My wife, and it's not fair.
♪ ♪
Like, Michaela's an amazing person.
Like, she's not a bad person at all.
It's just, like, I have this [bleep] view
that, like, things have to be perfect,
and, like, no matter what I do in life, it's not good enough.
I have to get away from that.
♪ ♪
But it's got me to where I am today, but I don't know.
Like, I can't have that mindset in a relationship.
I can't.
♪ ♪
I can't. It's just not gonna work.
♪ ♪
- It's a really great way to undermine your happiness...
- Yeah.
- And someone else's happiness, if only perfect will do.
♪ ♪
- I don't know. I don't know.
♪ ♪
- ♪ People make mistakes, we are human ♪
♪ But, honey, it was fate letting you in ♪
♪ I'm facing all the music now ♪
- I just finished talking to Dr. Pepper.
And I'm excited to see my husband,
because he just finished to Pastor Cal,
and I think he's gonna, like, tell my husband, like,
"Oh, you need to treat your wife like a princess."
But my husband already treats me like a princess,
so I'm really actually curious to see
what he talked about with Pastor Cal.
♪ ♪
- What's up, baby?
Right here. [chair skids]
Come on.
- Oh, okay.
♪ ♪
- You good?
♪ ♪
Come on. Have a seat.
- What a gentleman.
- There you go.
♪ ♪
[chuckles]
- Why are you laughing at me? - 'Cause.
♪ ♪
How'd it go?
- It was pretty easy.
- Well, yeah, I didn't think it was gonna be hard.
- I know. I didn't think it was gonna be hard either.
I thought it was gonna be boring, to be honest.
- And was it? - It actually was not boring.
- Okay. So, there's a couple questions,
basically, I want to ask you.
I want to see how you respond to them.
They all have to relate towards, um,
Miss Little Debbie Downer that you can be sometimes.
When you get like that,
the problem for me is
if my mood start to change 'cause of it.
And I don't like that.
So, I definitely want to know why you've gotten like that.
- A lot of times, it's because of my introvert-ness.
Like, I'm done with people,
my husband's not done with people.
Or if I am in a situation where I'm uncomfortable or not happy,
that makes me moody and needy.
♪ ♪
- If that's the case, when you're in your mood,
what can I do to be a buffer?
- What you already do, though.
- Which is what? - You make me laugh.
You make me, like, get off subject,
and you take my mind off of it.
And, to me, that, like, is everything.
- Okay.
- Like, finding some, like, source of, like, distraction.
That's what.
♪ ♪
So, when I get in my moods,
what would be helpful for you?
Like, what can I do better?
- Not to get in them.
♪ ♪
Case closed! What are you talking about?
- But what if I get in them? - Okay.
- And what's better?
- I feel like you should be considerate
of other people around you when you get like that.
- Okay. - Like, I understand
you're upset, but...
is it really that important to be--to get like that?
And if it is, try not to affect others.
♪ ♪
Actually, you know what you can do in that--at that moment?
It would probably help you out too.
- Hmm?
- Um, just be more affectionate.
- Really?
♪ ♪
- 'Cause I think that will get you--
- More than what I am already? - No, no, no.
[sighs] - [laughs]
- What are you talking about?
Anyways, I feel like
it's hard to be affectionate when you're cranky.
- Yeah, I don't think it's hard to be affectionate
when I'm cranky. - No, no, no.
'Cause you won't be affectionate at that time,
'cause you will be moody, right?
- Mm.
- So, if you became affectionate,
that'll get your mind off of it.
- So, if I'm moody, like, don't just stop
being affectionate. Like, be more affectionate.
- Exactly. Just come over and give me a hug.
- Hmm.
- 'Cause that'll completely change your demeanor.
You like that? - Yeah.
♪ ♪
[laughter]
- ♪ Just feeling good ♪
♪ Now reach for the sun ♪
♪ Can't be hard, just one by one ♪
- Just left my meeting with Dr. Pepper.
I'm pretty confident that our marriage
could weather anything.
It's early on, so I still need time to be able to say that,
but I think we can.
♪ ♪
- ♪ Just feeling good ♪
- [sighs] - You're right in the sun.
- I know. That's what I wanted.
- I'm glad you picked that seat,
'cause I would have asked you to switch if I sat down.
[laughter]
So, how was your meeting with Pastor Cal?
- It was really good. Really productive.
I love talking to him.
How was your meeting with Dr. Pepper?
- Same. It was really good. - Yeah?
- Add another moment where I cried on the list.
- Really? What happened? - Yeah.
You know, I realized why a lot of my relationships
don't work out is because, like, I'm a perfectionist.
Nothing I do in life, I think, is good enough.
And I kind of transfer that over to, like, you,
you know what I mean, which doesn't help anything.
And so, it was, like, a breakthrough moment,
because I learned a lot about myself.
Definitely learned a lot about, like, how to make
our relationship better.
You know, having this ideal person in my head--
And I know no one can ever live up to it,
and I don't expect anyone to.
But for some reason, like, I'm still gonna try.
I don't know, it's just weird.
'Cause I think that's how I am in, like, life--
Like, with school, work.
But if I don't make a change and take this opportunity,
then I can be alone for a long time,
and that's not what I want.
What was one of the questions you have to ask me?
- I know you--you said you wanted marriage.
What did marriage look like for you?
What did being with your wife look like for you?
- I always go back to this one image,
where it's me and my wife in our house,
listening to music, making breakfast,
with our kids running around, playing around.
To me, that's what I envision.
And, to me, that's being ultimately happy.
I built something with someone that made me a better person,
whom I made a better person,
someone whom I love unconditionally,
and she love me back.
So, when I think about marriage,
it's something who just makes me feel unbelievable happy.
♪ ♪
- When I think about marriage,
the marriage that I would want to be in,
it's romantic, and that we're, like, partners.
Like, we both have some type of goal in mind
for our union.
We're aiming for something, something large.
So, what do you think the goals are for this marriage?
- Continue to get to know each other.
Do things together. Talk to each other.
I think that it's gonna help me get to
where we both want to be,
which is, we both see a future.
- You know, I hear you.
- Mm-hmm.
- But I really do wish that I could shake
whatever this hesitation is that's inside of me,
you know, shake this guard that I have up.
- So, you still have a guard up right now?
- Mm-hmm.
- I couldn't tell. - Yeah.
- Well, how can I make you feel more secure in our marriage,
meaning you know I won't run away at the next conflict
or next, whatever big thing?
- I think your words and your actions mean a lot to me.
- Just that? - Yeah.
- Just being cognizant of my words and actions?
- Mm-hmm.
I don't really know what words you can--you can say.
I just have this overwhelming sense
that, like, you're not really
in the belief that this would be a long-term thing.
I can't honestly say that I'm like,
"Oh, well, our future looks like this," you know?
- Yeah.
- I used to be able to say that,
but now I'm just kind of, like, eh, you know,
'cause I don't feel like you feel that way.
I want to feel that way.
I want to be able to talk about future and kids
and what we're--you know, where we're gonna move
in the next four weeks. - Yeah.
- What does that look like for us?
- I mean, my main goal is to--
To do whatever I can to make this work.
- ♪ Unchain, oh, yeah ♪
♪ Unchain my heart, I said, unchain ♪
- ♪ Look around so you remember ♪
♪ What your world was like before we came ♪
- So, Bao meets with Pastor Cal today
and I meet with Dr. Pepper.
At this point, I'm really not even worried
about what Bao's gonna say.
We had a really tough session last week.
I wasn't ready to talk to him then,
but today I think I'm ready to talk to Dr. Pepper,
and she should be ready to talk to Pastor Cal.
♪ ♪
- Hi. - Hi.
- Hi, Pastor Cal. - Hi, Bao.
How are you, hon? - I'm good.
- Dr. Pepper. [sighs]
- I'm glad to see you.
- How are you? - I'm good.
I gather it's been a little rough for you.
- It has. Yeah.
I feel like, with her,
I'm somebody that I don't want to be.
♪ ♪
I don't know anymore.
Like, we have these arguments,
and they're not constructive arguments,
because we don't argue well.
- But isn't that something we have to change?
Isn't there something we need to learn here?
♪ ♪
- Ooh.
- I don't want you to feel that
your best self didn't triumph over the things you regret.
You've said things that you need to apologize for,
and learn a new way of dealing with your anger
or disappointment, that you can be proud of.
- Yeah.
- You can say, "I'm angry. I hate that.
When you're like that, I feel distant and unloving,"
but not things that nobody can grow from or change.
- I want you guys to be able to talk through differences,
to not get to standstills.
What can you together to fix it
and try and be proud of yourselves
that you can do that?
You need to be sure that you are making the right decision
on Decision Day.
So, a question you might want to ask her is,
"I'm thinking of these new ways of communicating.
Will you be willing to work with me on them?"
♪ ♪
Put yourself in a circumstance to be who you want to be.
- Whenever we have problems,
I don't try to fix the problems.
I try to fix what is the source of the problems.
And I've felt like the problems that we have are
trust, communication,
and we don't have a foundation of friendship.
It feels like we're constantly arguing about the truth,
and it's because perception is reality.
I'm starting to feel like we are living the same life,
but we're seeing things completely differently.
- There is no truth about perspective.
We do the best we can with the information available.
We take in information differently
and we think we're speaking the truth,
but we're speaking our perspective.
I think you guys have to get away from winning,
keeping scores.
- Yeah.
- We still feel like there's so much you guys have.
And if it's learning how to talk to each other,
I still think there's room for doing that.
- Yeah. - I think the two of you
need structure for your conversations,
and also for what is not working, without getting mean.
♪ ♪
- I'm getting a lot from you-- A lot of ideas
that I want to implement.
I would love to do them, and I just need to get...
- ♪ You can start again ♪
♪ You can start again, oh ♪
♪ ♪
- Today, Johnny and I are meeting with the experts,
and I am feeling...
checked out of my marriage.
From my end, I just feel like
I married a man that was not ready for marriage.
♪ ♪
And he cuts me down every opportunity
and he doesn't appreciate Bao.
I'm done feeling unappreciated.
- Good to see you. - Good to see you.
Thanks for meeting with me today.
- Oh, absolutely.
How are you?
- [sighs] Could be better.
♪ ♪
- Well, you had some ups and downs.
Let's just jump right in. Where are you guys now?
♪ ♪
- Johnny wants to build
a foundation for a stronger marriage.
I agree we should work on the foundation.
But, in a way, I have this impression
that it's more of an out.
And the more I talk with him, and the arguments that we have,
I honestly feel like Johnny is 80% already out the door,
and that his decision's already been made.
♪ ♪
I feel cheated out of a perfectly good marriage.
This could be a perfectly good marriage.
But I have a husband on paper, and that's it.
- He's thrown quite a few darts your way
and said some pretty ugly things.
♪ ♪
- You get very giddy, almost like a little kid.
I personally don't find it attractive.
If this was a dating scenario,
this is where we would end things.
I don't want my family to get attached to her
and she to get attached to my family,
if I don't even like her.
I wish I had been matched with literally anyone else.
What I have in front of me right now is not what I want.
♪ ♪
- I just don't know why he feels like
he has to cut me down.
I can see the intent of him being so malicious.
And I don't understand why you would do that with your wife.
I'm here trying, and I get cut down over and over.
♪ ♪
- And what are you feeling right now?
- [emotionally] I'm frustrated.
♪ ♪
- Yeah.
- 'Cause I feel I went into this...
for the right reasons.
♪ ♪
Thank you.
♪ ♪
I just don't think he's got the emotional maturity right now
to be a caring, loving husband and father.
- This is a tough one.
♪ ♪
- He's just given up. He doesn't care.
♪ ♪
- You two have a lot to work through and resolve
before Decision Day.
So, in order to help you, I'd like you to ask him about
whether or not he felt he was ready to be married.
♪ ♪
Do you guys ever communicate effectively
without lashing out?
- When we're not digging deep,
I feel like we're connecting, and we're okay.
- Is it possible then for you guys to work at that level?
Let's just call it level one of marriage,
'cause I assume there's no intimacy now.
- No, there's nothing. - Okay.
Let's stay at that level one. Just play nice.
- Mm-hmm. - Don't go deep.
Let's have the light conversations, and let's see
if he can surprise you by going deep himself.
♪ ♪
- I really hate this, because I've just never been a person
that cared for chit-chat.
And I know, early on,
that's how it should happen and unfold,
but I've always been the kind of person
to just dig right into it.
But I can't do that right now,
because anything deeper cuts Johnny in some weird way.
- Is he willing to show up for the marriage and not run away,
and not give up at every sign of trouble?
If this works, and your marriage turns around,
you'll look back on this and you'll say,
"Oh, my God, I'm so glad we went through that."
I've talked to so many couples who have gone through
so much worse than you're going through.
And they have actually recovered and moved forward,
and now are living incredible marriages,
because you build foundation through adversity.
- ♪ And somewhere down the road ♪
♪ We got lost in each other ♪
♪ Next thing, we're broken and awoken up some place else ♪
- ♪ Call it an accident ♪
♪ But I know we both came here ♪
♪ Just to pretend we wanted to see each other ♪
♪ Standing there ♪
[laughter]
- How you doing? - I'm awesome.
How are you? - I'm okay.
- Okay. Okay. Okay. - Yeah.
- I didn't get awesome, but that's all right.
- I'm not awesome, you know? - Yeah.
- I mean, there's just a lot going on,
and, you know, it hasn't been easy.
- Yeah. Let's talk about it. - Yeah.
- So, tell me, is there anything that could happen
where his behavior could change enough
to get you to say yes on Decision Day?
- I think, yeah. I think there's definitely,
like--like, a small percentage of a possibility of that.
If he was more willing or open,
I--I would be willing to keep trying.
I really would. - Yeah.
- Because the honeymoon was just a different person.
- I truly am thankful that I was matched with you.
I'm happy where we are.
I'm happy with the direction we're trending.
We're not just-- - Yeah, like--
Both: Going through the motions.
- Exactly. [bleep]. [laughter]
- I needed that.
Here we go.
Bring that back. That was great.
- Yeah. Yeah. - Like, it was so good.
But, I'm now shifting how I feel about--
Is this what's gonna make me happy forever?
Like, is he even capable of giving me what I need?
- Right.
When couples get to that point,
strong decisions have to be made.
Are you guys talking about feelings and emotions?
So, there's--there's no intimate communication.
- None.
- Ask him to give you a picture
of what he thought his wife would have been.
- Mm-hmm.
- And let him know you're not offended if it's not you.
- I know it's not me. - Yeah.
But let-- Just let him know that.
- Uh-huh. - Ask him.
"When did you give up on this marriage?"
- Mm.
- "When did you know this was not going to work?"
- Oh, I think it was a long time ago.
- You might be surprised.
♪ ♪
I want you to make sure that everything is out in the open,
that you both are putting forth at least the effort
to communicate and find out what the heck happened.
- Mm-hmm.
- Because at this point, if your marriage
is on the rocks, what the heck you got to lose?
Let's deal with these questions,
because I've seen couples turn around.
♪ ♪
- ♪ All the way ♪
♪ ♪
- So, we have our meeting with an expert,
in 30 minutes or so.
Not sure how it's gonna go.
I anticipate a little bit of negativity, at least,
as far as how I've handled this process
and if I've given everything that I could.
I have to be open. I have to be--
I have to be honest with them, honest with myself.
Switched this up, and they had to bring in
the big guns for me, I guess.
- Think that's me, huh?
Well, what I want to talk to you about, of course,
is your marriage.
And of course, it's very clear that your marriage
has gone sideways.
When do you believe that your connection with your wife
became imperiled?
- Probably Viviana's meeting with us.
That was decently uncomfortable for me,
and I'm sure for her, as well.
- Do you like her? - I do like her.
But I have questions
that I need to personally figure out.
I know her feelings, and I know her emotions,
and I don't want her to take that to another level--
- Okay. - That I'm not 100% certain--
- It sounds like she's further along towards liking you.
- That's how I perceive it. - I hate saying that, but--
- Is that true, though? Okay. - I think that's fair, yeah.
That's when I started being like, okay,
I'm gonna stay open to it,
but I can't keep fighting everything that I'm feeling,
everything that's telling me that this isn't working,
this isn't right for me, and I assume for her, as well.
- So, tell me how you tried to deal with the things
that you didn't like, and then tell me
what you did to see if you could change them.
- That's what's hard for me.
Like, I feel like communication has been an issue.
And it's not a fun feeling to think that most of
the conversations you need to have are gonna come across
as not--not fun conversations to have.
- So, let's stop there.
I think there's been a pattern of:
there's something wrong, I'm checking it in;
but I'm not telling her. - Mm-hmm.
- You have to vocalize in marriage.
People aren't selected for being mind-readers.
♪ ♪
If you don't feel you could say something difficult
in a way that wasn't cruel,
then you have to figure out
how to say it in a way that's constructive.
♪ ♪
Do you remember why you wanted to be married at first sight?
- Yeah. I've always had the same goal.
I want to find that person for me.
I want to find the person that
you value their life more than yours.
And that's never wavered.
- Well, no way to get closer without dealing with feelings.
We can't go anywhere where "I'm this" and "I'm that"
and that's it.
You gotta reach inside, deeper.
Ask her, you know, who she is.
See her in her best places.
And it seems to me--and I have to be honest with you--
That that has not been done.
I doubt if you people know each other yet.
Really know each other.
- Yeah.
- Let me see you try.
♪ ♪
So, the question is, can you pull this out of where it is?
Sometimes, when things go wrong, then people give up.
I don't want you to give up.
I want you to do things that you never did,
that you really have to change, for both of you.
- Yeah. No, I--I--I promise you,
I'm gonna put more effort into it.
And you're gonna see-- You're gonna see
more effort on my end.
- It ain't over till it's over.
♪ ♪
- ♪ I saw the words float out ♪
- I just came out of a very productive session
with Dr. Pepper, and she's given me some ideas
on how to improve.
Where we're at is not working, and if this could help,
I'm willing to answer any and everything.
- I'm very curious, actually,
to find out what Johnny discussed with Dr. Pepper.
According to Pastor Cal,
he really does feel the onus is on Johnny
to deliver and save this marriage at this point,
and that I should just ask level-one questions.
But it's hard for me.
♪ ♪
- How you feeling?
♪ ♪
I'm not in, really, any different state.
♪ ♪
How did your talk go with Dr. Pepper?
- It was constructive.
I do want to start by saying
I have said some things that I regret.
♪ ♪
And I want to tell you that I'm sorry for saying those things.
♪ ♪
- Thanks.
I want to accept his apology.
I want to be able to forgive him,
but I don't know how sincere his apology is.
- One of the things that I told Dr. Pepper
I wanted to work on was our communication.
What do you think? How can we improve our communication?
- I want to be able to talk about anything
that's on my mind and not feel judged,
even if there are things that you would disagree with.
I don't know why our disagreements escalate.
Because when I think back to the root of our arguments,
I don't think they're that big.
- Okay.
- And it would be helpful and constructive to focus
on trying to see the other person's perspective on things.
So, I think that would be helpful--
- Okay. - When we have disagreements.
I have questions I have to ask you too.
- Hit me.
- Are you willing to fully show up in this marriage
and not run away again?
- I haven't run away from this relationship yet.
♪ ♪
I have taken a breather, because I need to not escalate.
When it's starting to get out of hand,
I take myself out, 'cause I don't want to explode.
'Cause I can definitely get there.
Sometimes I just need time.
Otherwise, I'm gonna say something that I don't mean,
in the heat of the moment. And I just need time sometimes.
- And that's okay. - Okay.
- What I'm not okay with is,
I don't want to see that there's a pattern of leaving.
- Mm-hmm. Just have one more question.
What can you do to be more present in our marriage?
- I feel, since you asked me to be more present, that I have.
But now, I feel like, for me, I'm turning back around.
I do not want to be talked to the way I have been before.
- Okay.
- And I do not want to be treated that way.
And I deserve to be treated with respect.
At one point, you had told me
you weren't sure if you were ready for marriage.
Where are you at now with that answer?
- [sighs] I was ready to get married.
I was ready to just start from a blank slate.
And instead, we knew each other.
For 15 years, we could have dated.
Why did we not date?
I keep talking about romance, chemistry.
I came into this knowing it was you.
That chemistry wasn't there the first time.
I wasn't attracted to you.
♪ ♪
Otherwise, we would have gone on a second date.
♪ ♪
- I don't know sometimes, Johnny.
I cannot help but be skeptical about your words.
♪ ♪
So, where do you think we should go from here?
♪ ♪
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- ♪ It's a beautiful life ♪
♪ ♪
- Hey. - Hi.
So good to see you again. - How are you, pretty lady?
- Nice to see you, Jose.
- Likewise. Good to see you.
- Oh, it's very good to see you.
I want to hear how you are.
- I think y'all did a wonderful job.
I couldn't be any happier right now.
You know, we work well together.
We are a great team.
We communicate, I think, very well.
And we just have to continue to keep growing together
and asking the right questions.
- Questions are always your friend,
because then you get answers. - Yes.
- And I do want to talk to you about some of the questions
that I know you have,
and to give you some advice on some of them.
- Yeah. So, coming into this process,
for me, as a husband, I wanted to be a provider
and be everything that my wife wanted me to be.
I wanted to make sure she was taken care of
and she had everything she needed.
However, you know, I did ask for an independent woman,
and she is that, of an independent woman.
So, where is not getting enough and where is getting too much?
And finding that little soft spot,
without having her feel like I'm being this controlling man?
♪ ♪
- Well, the fact is, I think you personally do
have a tendency to be controlling.
♪ ♪
'Cause you think there's a right way,
and you've done it, you know?
And it may have been serving you extremely well.
But she's gonna have some things that she's used to,
that have made her feel secure.
And I think you have to take that really seriously
and respect that.
See the world
as your partner would see it through their eyes,
as opposed to how you figured it all out.
♪ ♪
- So, that was one.
And then, two was,
we had three incredible weeks of a great run.
And then, it seemed like, within three days,
we had, you know, all these fireworks go off.
- So, tonight, my wife, Rachel, calls me by another man's name.
I'm not very content. I'm not happy.
- My husband locked me out of the apartment.
[knocks loudly on door]
Everything last night,
the way you acted towards me, the way you spoke to me,
I don't trust you at all.
- Same.
♪ ♪
I'm not happy with the way I handled a lot of those things.
But what scares me a little bit is that,
when things get rough, she bounces.
- I don't feel that you are remorseful at all.
- Okay.
- And, yeah. I cannot be your wife.
Brace yourself, because you could not criticize me one bit,
'cause I would be, like, out the door.
- Wow.
I want to be able to trust my wife.
But, you know, it's tough when someone's almost rejecting you
or doesn't want to be there.
So, for me,
what could I do to make sure my wife trusts me?
And how do I make her feel that she doesn't have to leave?
I don't know these answers here.
♪ ♪
- What you have to do is ask a question.
"How can we help build a situation
where the trust can grow and changes happen organically?"
Because trust isn't made in a day.
Ask, "What you need from me,
so that you truly trust me as a forever husband?"
- Okay.
- I mean, you know, she's seen your anger.
That's not gonna help build trust.
- ♪ This is the moment ♪
♪ Sometimes you gotta bite the bullet ♪
♪ ♪
- How committed are you guys to each other?
- I know, like, he is the man for me, you know?
- Good.
- He's everything I asked for, plus more. Yeah.
- Oh, my gosh. That's so great. That's great.
So, do you have any questions
that you think you might need answered
moving into that big Decision Day?
♪ ♪
- I feel like it's still just more of getting to know him.
Because he's constantly showing me
I can be my true self and actually feel loved by it.
But, am I doing everything you need?
Because he--
I feel like sometimes he doesn't express that as much.
And so, I'm just going about my day,
hoping I'm hitting the target.
- Yeah. Everyone needs to know that they're being cared for
the way they want to be cared for.
'Cause what you could do-- - Uh-huh. Absolutely.
- Is just go along and saying, "Okay, great.
"You know, I'm pouring into you,
"but I'm not getting anything back.
But it's okay. I'll be fine. I'll be fine."
And that starts to build up resentment.
So, that is a conversation you gotta have.
♪ ♪
- And another question I need to ask my husband is
about the incident of, you know, being locked out.
He says it's accidental.
I'm gonna take his word for it. - Yeah.
- However, I let him know, accident or not,
at the end of the day, I was locked out, period.
So, I've seen my husband has a temper.
He can be vindictive.
- That's something that you guys have to talk about.
Find out what could be done
so that there won't be another circumstance
where he feels the necessity to shut you out.
'Cause that's what he was doing.
He was shutting you out of his world.
And just for the record, this is not your last argument.
- I know, but if this ever happens again, no.
You know, that's not something I signed up for.
♪ ♪
- ♪ I can feel it in my bones ♪
♪ This light overcomes me ♪
♪ And it feels so right ♪
- I meant it when I told Dr. Pepper
that I'm gonna make more of an effort.
We're gonna have to have some tough conversations.
But, yeah. It was a positive overall conversation with her.
She gave me a little bit of hope
that this could still have a chance, so we'll see.
- Oh, boy. You made it.
- It was touch-and-go there for--for a minute.
- You're alive.
- I wasn't sure that I wasn't gonna get out of there alive.
She definitely made me think about a lot of stuff.
She was questioning my effort, and--
- Yeah.
- Communication, and...
conversations that we have and hadn't had.
♪ ♪
I avoid saying things
that I know that you're not gonna want to hear.
♪ ♪
- Yeah.
That's not always good for me, you know?
And so, I don't want to be a source of stress,
because that's not good for anyone.
- Instead, we just stress each other out internally.
- Yeah.
♪ ♪
- He didn't give you anything?
♪ ♪
- Ask him, "When did you give up on this marriage?"
- Mm.
- "When did you know this was not going to work?"
♪ ♪
- It was... mostly focused on me.
He was just telling me, you know, like,
what I need to do, as far as, like, asking questions.
And, um...
I just feel, like, very disconnected,
so it's hard for me to--
- So, going about things the same way
are gonna make it get past that?
- No. I didn't say that.
But I do get to a point where, like, I don't know what to do.
- That disconnect's gonna get further and further away
if we don't find something that can change
how we've been going about this.
Like, I need you to call me out on [bleep].
Like, I'm open to that.
♪ ♪
- I don't know.
If you genuinely want to keep trying,
I just need to know, either way.
I mean, never say never.
People can surprise you. I think things can change.
I think the hope isn't completely diminished.
But it's, like-- It's down there.
It's pretty low.
Again, it just all comes back to talking to each other.
We just have to be honest, period.
- ♪ You may run for a long time ♪
♪ Run on ♪
- [exhales sharply]
- ♪ Tell me how to live my life ♪
♪ If we can't be open ♪
- I just finished talking to Pastor Cal,
and it went really, really great.
And I just want to really dig deep into Jose's triggers.
And we had a really big blowup.
Something must have really bothered him
to get him to that point, and I want to know what it was,
to make sure to not hit those triggers.
And I think that would be a great conversation to have.
It's gonna help make Decision Day even that much easier.
♪ ♪
How'd it go?
- So, I think it went very well.
- Good. - I think it went good.
You know, I briefed her on the impeccable three weeks
that we had, and then, of course, the breakdown.
And then, you know, one of my questions was,
when things got tough, my wife left.
So, how can I know that's not gonna happen again?
- That's super valid, because my instinct
when I get into an argument is to bounce.
♪ ♪
But it took that fight for me to realize
that single Rachel is gone, you know,
and I am married to you, and I now understand
we can have these tough arguments and overcome it.
♪ ♪
But what were the triggers to get you to that point
where it started to be a very vindictive side of you?
♪ ♪
- You know, I think, for me, I need time to cool off.
I need to tell you, "I need to cool off."
Communicate it versus just doing it,
because we both carry a lot of pride.
- It has to be a compromise.
- Yes. Absolutely.
As a child, growing up,
seeing my parents go through a divorce,
I didn't see the love, and that's why, I think,
my approach has been so different,
because I want to make sure that
I do everything almost opposite than what I saw.
♪ ♪
- We are in a great place,
but there's always more work to do.
I know there's a lot more to uncover for my husband,
and I can't wait to see what that is.
You have my trust.
I want to be Jose's wife, no matter what.
- ♪ You are my sign, and just know that I believe in you ♪
♪ ♪
- ♪ It's a bright, bright summer day ♪
♪ Sun is smiling on my face ♪
♪ And it feels like real love ♪
♪ Want me to ♪
- Hey! - Hello! Hello, beautiful!
- Y'all are so bright and colorful!
- Zack Attack. How are you, man?
- How cute are you? - Oh, you look ready.
- We are all together,
and we are playing sand volleyball,
which is my favorite thing.
Shoes off. Socks off, guys.
Hanging out in a group setting is very helpful to me,
because I think I am
at a bit of a breaking point in my marriage.
So, it's beneficial to hear
what the other couples are going through,
and if they're going through those things,
then that makes me feel more confident and okay
with the fact that Ryan and I are going through things too.
- I wish I had, like, a super impressive, like, jump serve.
♪ ♪
- Michaela! - Oh, what?
[laughter]
- What are you doing over here?
- I'ma be a cheerleader! - That's you!
- Whoo-hoo!
[laughter]
- That's you. - Be nice.
- That's a good hit. - Yeah, that is a good hit.
- As me and my wife are arriving at the courts,
I notice Johnny, with no Bao.
So, that kind of tells me a little bit
how that's going on there.
- Ooh! - Good shot, Johnny!
- Hey, reinforcements have arrived!
- What's up, baby? - What's up, what's up,
what's up, what's up, what's up?
- What up? What up? What up? - Hi!
- Sorry, we're kind of-- We're kind of late.
- I thought we were gonna do a group hug.
- What's happening, bro? - [cheers]
[laughter] Go, team! Go, team!
[cheers]
- Nice! We got a cheerleader.
- Bao, I love it!
Yes! Yes, Bao! Yes, yes! - Yes, Bao!
- W-I-N!
We all win!
W-I-N! - Hi.
- Johnny's coming up to give me a hug, and I'm surprised.
I don't know if it's the outfit.
I don't know if it's--Johnny suddenly has a change of heart
and wants to be,
you know, more affectionate in front of others.
I don't know what it is.
Yay! [laughter]
I'm pretty sure it's the outfit.
- Go ahead. Come on.
- ♪ My game's a ball and chains ♪
- I got it.
- I got it, I got it, I got it, I got it.
I got it! [groans]
- Yay!
- ♪ And I can't lose ♪
- Johnny. - I got it.
- Yay! - Ooh, that should hurt.
♪ ♪
- ♪ She loves the adrenaline ♪
♪ My head is starting to spin, yeah ♪
- I got it.
- ♪ She keeps winning, she loves the adrenaline ♪
- That's game. That's game.
Good game. - Whoo!
- Good game, everyone.
- Girl, victory is great.
Bao, girl. - Yes?
- Highlight of my day, this one.
- Spirit! Whoo! [laughter]
♪ ♪
- You--I think you're the reason
why we all started winning. - I know. Cheerleader.
- I just got so happy when I saw her walk in.
- Yay! - How has y'all's weeks been?
- Such a blur sometimes. I'm like, what did we do?
- Right? - Did y'all have
your expert visits? - We did. Yeah.
- We did. - Yeah, I got a curveball.
I thought, going up to it, that I was meeting
with Cal again, and I've been pretty open about,
Dr. Pepper scares me a little bit.
And then, they threw in Dr. Pepper at me.
- Oh, yeah? - Ooh!
- I know we all had our expert visits and everything.
- Oh, yeah. - What did Pastor Cal say?
- I mean, he's kind of pissed. He's kind of pissed.
- At what? - Just at the situation.
Like, you know, that it seems as though, you know,
Ryan hasn't really given-- Given it a fair chance.
- Mm-hmm.
- At least to the outside eye, that's how it seems.
That's how it seems to me too.
- She said that it doesn't look like I've made an effort.
And I told her--I was like,
I promise you, you'll see more effort out of me.
I'm gonna be more present.
- I mean, he said that he does want to try.
But, I don't know. We're just, like, in a weird--
- Place. - Like, a weird limbo, place.
- I feel like I relate to you so much,
because I'm getting a lot of what you're getting,
the similar situation,
except that the difference is that Johnny's actually mean.
Johnny said one of the tools he learned from Dr. Pepper
is that--one thing he can do to help with his communication
is not to say negative, definitive statements.
He literally did just that in the same conversation,
after I asked him about-- Is he ready to marriage?
Is he committed? And he kind of blew up.
- He blew up? - Yeah. He gets very defensive.
- My conversations with Bao are, like,
"I said this, you said that." "You're a liar."
Like-- - It's like that?
- Yeah. It's very-- It feels very juvenile.
- At the end of the day, man, you gotta be happy.
You gotta do what you feel is best for you.
- That's the thing. I feel like I haven't been happy
in a really long time.
I get little glimpses of joy
when we, like, plan dates and we do stuff.
But every day-- The day-to-day stuff,
just living in the apartment together--nothing.
♪ ♪
- I just don't-- He's so childish.
- I'm not speaking for everybody,
but, like, I think some people view this as a real marriage.
- Yeah. - And some don't.
♪ ♪
- If we don't sleep in the same bed--
- How does it hurt? - It definitely hurts.
If we don't sleep in the same bed--
- What's wrong with that? What does it matter?
Are we enemies now?
- All right, so we get back from the beach volleyball,
and I think we have a good time,
but now my wife wants to sleep in a separate room.
Can you explain why? - I do.
So, we had a conversation about Decision Day,
and what our Decision Day answers would potentially be,
which, as it stands, as of today,
it's a no for both of us.
And because of that, I'm just like, eh,
if Decision Day is going to be a no,
why even sleep in the same bedroom?
- Why are we switching up anything?
- Then why were we talking about it if it's not today?
Why were you asking me, "If Decision Day was today,
if Decision Day was today..."
And you said your answer, and I said my answer.
And then, we said, "Oh, okay." Like, so--
- 'Cause I feel like every day--every day, you switch up,
like, how you feel, so I'm just like--
- And I said, I don't know. And what's wrong with that?
I don't have to jump to the conclusion.
I don't have to forecast.
I can literally--I literally allow myself the opportunity
to change my mind every [bleep] day,
especially in this situation. - Right. I understand that.
But I don't understand why should we sleep--
We should sleep in separate rooms right now.
I don't get--that doesn't help anything; that only hurts.
- I don't see why not.
How does it hurt? Tell me how it hurts.
- Because, like, it's been going great for us, so, like,
why--why are we switching-- Why are we switching it up now?
- If it's been going great, why did we both say
Decision Day would be a no? - Because we not there yet.
But it's--like, do you not see, like--
- Then it's not going great!
- No, do you not see a upward trend?
Like, what the [bleep]?
I'm literally saying, I don't know now.
Like, I told the people-- The guys today--
I just said, "I don't know." - You literally--
Today, you said no. You told the guys you don't know.
- No. No. Michaela. - And that's fine.
You can tell them whatever the [bleep] you want.
But you told me no.
- We both said we would say no. - Today.
- We both said we would say no, correct?
- And I said I don't know, 'cause I don't want
to forecast. - Oh, my [bleep] God.
- What--when you asked me-- - A'ight, I'm [bleep]--I'm out.
- Okay, so Zack wanted to end his diary cam, which is fine.
But, we actually had a conversation.
We sat right there at that table.
And when asked, when pressed about what my answer would be,
I said, "I don't know." Today, he was like,
"What is your answer gonna be?" And I said, I--
- Wait, wait, that's not what happened, bro.
What the [bleep] are talking about?
That's not what happened. - I said, "I don't know."
That is genuinely my answer.
- Michaela, we both said we'd say no today.
- If we're talking about today--
- We both said--we said-- - On Decision Day!
If today was Decision Day, we would say no.
- Okay. - Decision Day?
I don't know! - Okay.
♪ ♪
- So, I just asked Zack if we were good.
And he literally is ignoring me.
Like, he will not talk to me now.
- Michaela doesn't want to sleep in the same bed anymore,
so I'm just gonna go home tonight.
I don't really want to be here,
and I don't think I should have to be here.
♪ ♪
- ♪ Where I lay, in an empty bed, beside me ♪
♪ ♪
♪ You're not here, seems that I'm alone ♪
♪ ♪
- I haven't seen you in so long, since the wedding.
- Yeah. Day after the wedding.
- Day after the wedding. That's true.
I forgot about that. I don't even remember that.
- It's been a long time. - It has been so long.
But, it's only been,
I don't know, like six weeks or so.
- Yeah.
- Um...
[sighs] - [chuckles]
- So, look, I need help.
We're struggling a little bit.
- Yeah, I've heard a little bit.
- I've been wanting to talk to Alexa for a long time,
because Ryan struggles to express himself,
and I feel like she knows him the best.
If I'm gonna talk to anybody that can give me advice,
it would be her.
The hovering topic is, I'm not his type,
to which I always say, "You're not mine either."
- Mm-hmm. - And that's okay, for me,
because I think there's a lot of things on the surface
we don't have in common when you look at us.
But I think there's a lot of things underneath
that we do have in common. - Mm-hmm.
- And I need to get to know him.
Like, I want to know everything about him.
But it's like-- - Like pulling teeth.
- I don't know how to. - Mm-hmm.
- I really don't know how to.
- Well, the advice I can give you--
An introvert, to Ryan being an introvert--
Is, when he's put on the spot-- - Mm-hmm.
- He's gonna probably tell you
what you want to hear, or walk away.
- Mm-hmm. I have felt like--
That he's just not interested at all.
♪ ♪
- When did he flip on you?
'Cause I know the wedding was really good.
I feel like our families hit it off really well.
- Yeah! - And when y'all were
on your honeymoon-- - Oh, yeah.
- We FaceTimed each other,
and everything was still going great.
He said you guys never run out of things to talk about.
You just lay in bed and just talk.
- Mm-hmm. Totally.
When we got home,
back to Houston, and we moved in,
I think it still felt like that for maybe--
I don't know, maybe, like, another week.
And then--and then, it didn't.
♪ ♪
- Which, what worries me is that
it was when he came back here is when things shifted,
and it makes me wonder if, maybe,
his head is focused on the past.
♪ ♪
Like, maybe being back here
maybe brings back feelings of someone that he liked.
♪ ♪
Knowing him, and living with him for so long,
makes me think that he's distracted somewhere.
- Really? - Yeah.
- ♪ We had some moments ♪
♪ We were up and down ♪
- I mean, that's-- That's where my head is.
- Yeah. - Since it was such a flip,
it just makes me think, if that wasn't out there,
this would still be a honeymoon.
- ♪ My heart's bleeding ♪
- I mean, I wonder.
♪ ♪
[line trilling]
- Hey, what's up, guys? - What's up?
- Can you hear me? - What's up?
- I know you were expecting Michaela,
but she canceled last minute.
Has she reached out to you at all, or no?
Both: No. - No?
So, let me just kind of give you,
like, the--what happened.
Yesterday, it was a good day, right?
It has been for the last two weeks.
You know, there have been ups and downs,
but it seemed like we've been on the same page.
And so, one thing we talked about was,
if Decision Day were today, what would we say?
And we both said we would say no.
So, we get back to the apartment,
and she's like, "Well, you know,
I want to sleep in separate beds."
I'm like, "Okay, fine, whatever.
"If we're sleeping in separate beds, like,
"then I want to go back to my place tonight to sleep,
'cause I want to sleep in a nice bed."
And she said she didn't care if I went to my place tonight.
I was never saying--
- But you know she was lying. - Yeah. Right.
- You know she was lying when she said that.
- Right. But here's my thing: then say that.
If you don't want me to go, then say that.
So, she texted me literally an hour later:
"Hey, since you left the apartment,
"which is not what I wanted at all
"when requesting separate beds,
I'm going to go ahead and move out fully tomorrow morning."
So, she texted me that, and I read it,
and I literally, like-- There's no way.
It's like, there's no way, right?
And, you know, she moved out.
So, she packed out everything, right?
So, I just realized, like, she took,
like, the seasoning and [bleep].
- That's annoying. - Yeah.
- That would annoy me.
- And I was like, damn, bro.
Like, that [bleep].
- You know what, that is beyond childish.
It's beyond rude. It's beyond disrespectful.
It seems like you've been trying as hard as you can
for as long as you can, and it seems like
she's not going--she's not-- She's not meeting you halfway.
- Look, and I'ma say--
I'ma say, look, I know I'm not perfect.
I know I could be doing things better, man.
But, no matter what people say, I know I've been trying.
Like, I have never put this much effort into something,
ever, in my life.
Seeing Michaela move out for the second time
is definitely challenging.
I don't know if it's something that I can overcome,
just because
this is the type of reaction that I have trouble with.
Like, this is, like--this is literally insanity for me.
And it's like, I can only get mad at myself.
I'm not even mad at Michaela. I'm just, like, mad at me,
'cause I'm sitting here talking to you guys.
- Do you feel like you got fooled or something?
- No. No. I just-- - Like, you been a fool?
- No. I mean, you-- I mean, you--maybe.
But I think, starting now, I'm just gonna start doing [bleep]
that makes me happy.
But I've been-- I appreciate you guys
taking time to talk to me, man.
If Michaela reaches out, let me know.
I doubt she will.
But anyway, thank you, guys. I love you.
- All right. - Hunt, get better.
Toliver, keep killing it in school.
And I will talk to you guys later, okay?
- Later. - A'ight, bye. I love you. Bye.
♪ ♪
- ♪ Gems in the dark ♪
♪ Tear me apart ♪
♪ So kind of assess, and try to profess ♪
♪ How did it get this far? ♪
♪ I know that you think you bad ♪
♪ But, honey, I'm not too mad ♪
♪ So why don't you, why don't you ♪
♪ Why don't you quit playing games and get out of my way? ♪
♪ ♪
♪ If we had not been drunk ♪
♪ ♪
- Next time on "Married at First Sight,"
with just two weeks until Decision Day...
- Whoo!
- The ranch retreat encourages our couples to bond,
have fun, and strengthen their connection.
- Ooh. - Oh, no! Ahh!
- They just want to eat you.
Most likely to be petty.
- I said Michaela.
She taking batteries out the smoke alarm.
- I think it's go-time.
It's not time to relax on our relationship.
[gunshot]
- I'm gonna die here today.
- Getting matched with you was way more work
than I thought it would be.
♪ ♪
- I can't! I can't! I can't!
- I came here for love.
I did not come here to be disrespected.
- You say to call you out.
But when I call you out, this is what happens.
- I would have preferred, like, individual, separate cabins.
- This is like, then what do you want? [bleep].
♪ ♪
- Get out!
[glass shatters]
[bleep]! Get out!