1 00:00:02,586 --> 00:00:03,796 - Let’s do this. 2 00:00:03,879 --> 00:00:06,129 - 10 singles took a leap of faith 3 00:00:06,215 --> 00:00:07,345 and married complete strangers. 4 00:00:07,424 --> 00:00:08,304 [cheers and applause] 5 00:00:08,383 --> 00:00:10,183 And in less than two weeks, 6 00:00:10,260 --> 00:00:12,300 they will have to decide whether to stay married 7 00:00:12,387 --> 00:00:13,847 or get a divorce. 8 00:00:13,931 --> 00:00:15,311 [cheers and applause] 9 00:00:15,390 --> 00:00:17,480 - ♪ You and me could go ♪ 10 00:00:17,559 --> 00:00:19,439 - Oh, that’s a good hit right there. 11 00:00:19,561 --> 00:00:22,311 - Last time, our couples took a deeper dive 12 00:00:22,397 --> 00:00:26,147 into trust and intimacy with their spouses. 13 00:00:26,235 --> 00:00:28,365 Nicole and Chris. 14 00:00:28,445 --> 00:00:31,355 - I didn’t realize I had so many issues 15 00:00:31,448 --> 00:00:33,318 until we talk about all of these things 16 00:00:33,408 --> 00:00:35,488 and I say them out loud. 17 00:00:35,577 --> 00:00:38,367 I’m like, wow, you are really [bleep] up, so-- 18 00:00:38,455 --> 00:00:39,535 - Stop that. 19 00:00:39,623 --> 00:00:42,333 You are not [bleep] up. 20 00:00:42,417 --> 00:00:44,287 - Gina and Clint. 21 00:00:44,419 --> 00:00:46,089 - I’m trying to keep an open mind. 22 00:00:46,171 --> 00:00:47,881 I’m not trying to have a predetermined outcome. 23 00:00:47,965 --> 00:00:50,845 - We have to start building some sort of intimacy. 24 00:00:50,926 --> 00:00:52,426 Like, at the end of the day, we’re not quitters. 25 00:00:52,553 --> 00:00:54,433 - Right. 26 00:00:54,555 --> 00:00:56,355 - Kirsten and Shaquille. 27 00:00:56,431 --> 00:00:59,481 - I knew what you were in Memphis for. 28 00:00:59,601 --> 00:01:01,141 - I just really wanted you there. 29 00:01:01,270 --> 00:01:03,690 - That just makes me feel terrible. 30 00:01:03,772 --> 00:01:05,522 - Can you imagine how I feel then? 31 00:01:05,607 --> 00:01:07,477 - I don’t want you to keep feeling like this-- 32 00:01:07,609 --> 00:01:08,779 like, that I don’t want to be there 33 00:01:08,902 --> 00:01:10,532 and I don’t want to support you. 34 00:01:10,612 --> 00:01:11,612 Because I do. 35 00:01:11,738 --> 00:01:13,868 - Jasmine and Airris. 36 00:01:13,949 --> 00:01:16,909 - So I’m trying to find, like, other ways that-- 37 00:01:16,994 --> 00:01:20,464 that I can be turned on, and I just haven’t gotten there yet. 38 00:01:20,539 --> 00:01:21,959 - I think I’m just at a point where 39 00:01:22,040 --> 00:01:23,920 I’m at my breaking point. 40 00:01:24,001 --> 00:01:26,841 [dramatic music] 41 00:01:26,962 --> 00:01:28,962 ♪ ♪ 42 00:01:29,047 --> 00:01:34,217 - And tonight we welcome guest expert DeVon Franklin 43 00:01:34,303 --> 00:01:36,763 and sit down with the couples to confront the truth. 44 00:01:36,847 --> 00:01:40,177 - In my relationships, I just brush things under the rug. 45 00:01:40,309 --> 00:01:41,599 - Whatever we sweep under the emotional rug, 46 00:01:41,685 --> 00:01:44,905 it doesn’t go anywhere. 47 00:01:44,980 --> 00:01:46,860 - I appreciate you probably more than you know. 48 00:01:46,982 --> 00:01:48,902 - Do you love her? - I do love you. 49 00:01:48,984 --> 00:01:51,494 - ♪ ’Cause I want to let you in ♪ 50 00:01:51,612 --> 00:01:52,862 - Aw. 51 00:01:52,988 --> 00:01:55,238 - Kirsten and I have consummated our marriage. 52 00:01:55,324 --> 00:01:58,244 [cheers and applause] 53 00:01:58,327 --> 00:02:00,197 - I’m over it. 54 00:02:00,329 --> 00:02:01,749 I’m done. 55 00:02:01,830 --> 00:02:03,620 Literally, I’m trying to dance with you. 56 00:02:03,707 --> 00:02:05,287 I’m your wife, but you don’t want to dance with your wife. 57 00:02:05,375 --> 00:02:08,035 Instead, you want to go dance with the instructor. 58 00:02:08,170 --> 00:02:11,260 - You need to be more supportive. 59 00:02:11,340 --> 00:02:13,380 - If this isn’t something you’re willing to do, 60 00:02:13,508 --> 00:02:15,508 there’s the door. 61 00:02:15,594 --> 00:02:17,224 - I got a bone to pick with you after this. 62 00:02:17,346 --> 00:02:18,676 - What? 63 00:02:18,805 --> 00:02:20,305 - You done looked at me in my eyes. 64 00:02:20,390 --> 00:02:23,100 - If it’s a phone call, hell, we’re gonna hang up 65 00:02:23,185 --> 00:02:25,485 and we’re gonna go our separate ways. 66 00:02:25,562 --> 00:02:26,772 [upbeat music] 67 00:02:26,855 --> 00:02:28,355 - ♪ It’s all or nothing ♪ 68 00:02:28,440 --> 00:02:30,780 - This is "Married at First Sight." 69 00:02:30,859 --> 00:02:32,859 - ♪ There’s no other way ♪ 70 00:02:32,944 --> 00:02:34,494 ♪ ♪ 71 00:02:34,571 --> 00:02:36,871 ♪ It’s all or nothing ♪ 72 00:02:36,948 --> 00:02:38,948 - ♪ Nothing like cruising back home ♪ 73 00:02:39,034 --> 00:02:40,584 ♪ Through some two-lane country ♪ 74 00:02:40,702 --> 00:02:44,752 ♪ ♪ 75 00:02:44,873 --> 00:02:47,173 [knocking on door] - Hey. 76 00:02:47,250 --> 00:02:48,460 - Hi! - What’s up, Jasmine? 77 00:02:48,543 --> 00:02:49,593 - How are you? - How you doing? 78 00:02:49,711 --> 00:02:51,171 DeVon. - Good to see you. 79 00:02:51,254 --> 00:02:53,134 - With just 12 days left until Decision Day, 80 00:02:53,215 --> 00:02:55,885 Jasmine and Airris have unfortunately 81 00:02:55,967 --> 00:02:58,427 hit a breaking point in their marriage. 82 00:02:58,553 --> 00:03:00,813 So we’ve invited guest expert DeVon Franklin 83 00:03:00,889 --> 00:03:04,769 to meet with them individually to bring a new perspective 84 00:03:04,893 --> 00:03:07,273 on how they can fight to make their marriage work, 85 00:03:07,396 --> 00:03:09,726 and to help them figure out how to vocalize 86 00:03:09,815 --> 00:03:13,035 what they need from their spouse before it’s too late. 87 00:03:15,404 --> 00:03:16,784 - First of all, thanks for having me. 88 00:03:16,905 --> 00:03:18,065 - I’m glad you’re here. - I’m here to help. 89 00:03:18,198 --> 00:03:19,118 - Yes. - OK? 90 00:03:19,241 --> 00:03:21,661 I am here to help. 91 00:03:21,743 --> 00:03:23,753 You know, I heard that you had a really strong 92 00:03:23,829 --> 00:03:25,659 breakthrough with the women. 93 00:03:25,747 --> 00:03:28,787 - So yeah, I had a breakthrough with the girls yesterday. 94 00:03:28,917 --> 00:03:30,627 I wasn’t expecting to have that breakthrough. 95 00:03:30,752 --> 00:03:31,882 - OK. - Like... 96 00:03:31,962 --> 00:03:33,842 I’ve learned in this process that 97 00:03:33,922 --> 00:03:36,552 in my relationships, I just brush things 98 00:03:36,633 --> 00:03:38,473 under the rug ’cause I’m very non-confrontational. 99 00:03:38,593 --> 00:03:40,263 - Mm-hmm. 100 00:03:40,345 --> 00:03:43,765 - So yesterday was just kind of like a breaking point. 101 00:03:43,890 --> 00:03:45,100 - Whatever we sweep under the emotional rug, 102 00:03:45,225 --> 00:03:46,425 it doesn’t go anywhere. - Mm-hmm. 103 00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:47,850 - Eventually it’s gonna pile up, 104 00:03:47,936 --> 00:03:49,146 and somebody gonna see our mess. 105 00:03:49,271 --> 00:03:50,231 - Mm-hmm. 106 00:03:50,313 --> 00:03:51,613 - So basically it’s like, OK... 107 00:03:51,690 --> 00:03:53,070 - They seen all my mess yesterday. 108 00:03:53,150 --> 00:03:54,980 - You just, you know, you had no choice 109 00:03:55,110 --> 00:03:57,030 but to just let them know, hey, here’s what’s really going on. 110 00:03:57,112 --> 00:03:58,742 Which is good, right? 111 00:03:58,822 --> 00:04:00,532 Because transparency leads to transformation. 112 00:04:00,615 --> 00:04:01,985 So that’s really, really good. 113 00:04:02,117 --> 00:04:03,527 - Mm-hmm. 114 00:04:03,618 --> 00:04:05,248 - The question is, what are you doing 115 00:04:05,328 --> 00:04:06,748 relative to your communication with Airris, you know? 116 00:04:06,830 --> 00:04:08,790 Have you expressed to him the same way 117 00:04:08,874 --> 00:04:11,834 you expressed to the women how you’re really feeling? 118 00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:14,090 - No. 119 00:04:14,171 --> 00:04:18,421 I mean, I’m sure he can feel it because, I mean, you know. 120 00:04:18,508 --> 00:04:20,218 I know where I’m at and, like, how I feel. 121 00:04:20,302 --> 00:04:21,392 - OK, well, let’s start there. 122 00:04:21,470 --> 00:04:23,100 Where--where are you at? 123 00:04:23,180 --> 00:04:26,180 - Well, I feel like me and Airris are compatible. 124 00:04:26,308 --> 00:04:27,728 - Mm-hmm. 125 00:04:27,809 --> 00:04:28,519 - I feel like we have things in common. 126 00:04:28,643 --> 00:04:30,103 - Mm-hmm. 127 00:04:30,187 --> 00:04:33,857 - And I feel like in the long run, we could work. 128 00:04:33,982 --> 00:04:36,782 I don’t feel like he feels that way. 129 00:04:36,860 --> 00:04:38,110 But I don’t know yet, because I ain’t asked him. 130 00:04:38,195 --> 00:04:39,455 - But here’s the thing. 131 00:04:39,529 --> 00:04:40,529 But let’s separate tasks for a moment, right? 132 00:04:40,655 --> 00:04:43,065 - OK, OK, OK. - Your task is not 133 00:04:43,158 --> 00:04:45,158 to figure out how he’s feeling. - OK. 134 00:04:45,285 --> 00:04:48,115 - Your task is to say, this is what I want, 135 00:04:48,205 --> 00:04:51,295 and also begin the process of having the courage 136 00:04:51,374 --> 00:04:53,424 to communicate that. - Mm-hmm. 137 00:04:53,502 --> 00:04:55,922 - So what do you want this marriage to look like? 138 00:04:56,004 --> 00:04:58,884 - Well, I want us to, like, connect on all levels. 139 00:04:59,007 --> 00:05:00,587 - Mm-hmm. 140 00:05:00,675 --> 00:05:01,835 - And we’ve definitely had deeper conversations. 141 00:05:01,927 --> 00:05:03,387 - Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. 142 00:05:03,512 --> 00:05:06,142 - But the issue arose of, like, he was getting 143 00:05:06,223 --> 00:05:08,223 really deep and I wasn’t. 144 00:05:08,350 --> 00:05:09,600 - Mm, OK, let’s pause there. 145 00:05:09,684 --> 00:05:10,984 Why? 146 00:05:11,061 --> 00:05:12,351 - I just--it’s-- 147 00:05:12,479 --> 00:05:14,109 I felt like I was telling my truth. 148 00:05:14,189 --> 00:05:16,109 Like, I haven’t had trauma in my life. 149 00:05:16,191 --> 00:05:18,111 So, like, a question for him, 150 00:05:18,193 --> 00:05:19,743 he can go on about it for 30 minutes. 151 00:05:19,861 --> 00:05:21,321 And for me, it’s a simple answer. 152 00:05:21,404 --> 00:05:23,364 - And so he is telling you it wasn’t deep enough. 153 00:05:23,448 --> 00:05:25,238 - He, like, went on for, like, 30 minutes 154 00:05:25,367 --> 00:05:27,867 about needing his friend who committed suicide. 155 00:05:27,953 --> 00:05:29,003 He didn’t leave a letter. 156 00:05:29,079 --> 00:05:30,829 Like, and that was really deep. 157 00:05:30,914 --> 00:05:32,174 But for me, I’m just like, I can count on one hand 158 00:05:32,249 --> 00:05:33,829 how many funerals I’ve been to. 159 00:05:33,917 --> 00:05:35,627 And, like, the few things that happened in my life, 160 00:05:35,710 --> 00:05:37,800 it’s not that deep. 161 00:05:37,879 --> 00:05:39,299 - OK, so let’s-- let’s talk about that. 162 00:05:39,381 --> 00:05:41,551 What are those things? 163 00:05:41,633 --> 00:05:43,803 - Like, through middle school, I was the new girl, 164 00:05:43,885 --> 00:05:44,715 and I was too proper. 165 00:05:44,845 --> 00:05:45,725 I was too put together. 166 00:05:45,804 --> 00:05:46,724 I was too this. 167 00:05:46,805 --> 00:05:48,475 I was too that. 168 00:05:48,557 --> 00:05:50,137 And I just got bullied for, like, three years straight. 169 00:05:50,225 --> 00:05:52,815 And I had no self-esteem. 170 00:05:52,894 --> 00:05:54,404 I had no self-love. 171 00:05:54,479 --> 00:05:56,269 At home, it was peaches and cream. 172 00:05:56,398 --> 00:05:58,018 My family, like, made me feel great, 173 00:05:58,108 --> 00:06:00,898 but in those three years of, like, me getting bullied, 174 00:06:00,986 --> 00:06:03,026 I was just in a deep, dark place. 175 00:06:03,113 --> 00:06:05,623 - And did they know how you felt about being bullied? 176 00:06:05,740 --> 00:06:06,910 - Mm-mm. 177 00:06:06,992 --> 00:06:08,412 - OK, so you never expressed it? 178 00:06:08,535 --> 00:06:09,585 - Mm-mm. 179 00:06:09,703 --> 00:06:10,793 - Swept it under the rug? 180 00:06:10,912 --> 00:06:12,332 - Mm-hmm. 181 00:06:12,414 --> 00:06:13,664 - OK, see, this is great. OK, all right. 182 00:06:13,748 --> 00:06:14,668 [laughter] 183 00:06:14,749 --> 00:06:15,629 But you see the pattern. 184 00:06:15,750 --> 00:06:17,670 - Mm-hmm. 185 00:06:17,752 --> 00:06:19,382 - You just said earlier, oh, I haven’t 186 00:06:19,462 --> 00:06:20,342 had anything traumatic. 187 00:06:20,422 --> 00:06:22,052 That’s not true. 188 00:06:22,132 --> 00:06:24,632 That, what you’re expressing, is incredibly traumatic. 189 00:06:24,759 --> 00:06:26,639 And that right there, that moment 190 00:06:26,761 --> 00:06:29,511 is on some level playing itself out, 191 00:06:29,598 --> 00:06:32,518 because you’re experiencing a situation in your marriage 192 00:06:32,601 --> 00:06:33,771 that you don’t know how to deal with. 193 00:06:33,852 --> 00:06:35,602 - Mm-hmm. - Right? 194 00:06:35,687 --> 00:06:36,687 Like, I don’t know how to deal with some of the things 195 00:06:36,771 --> 00:06:38,021 that my husband has said. 196 00:06:38,106 --> 00:06:39,816 - And even, like, with my parents, 197 00:06:39,941 --> 00:06:41,401 I’ve never seen them handle conflict. 198 00:06:41,484 --> 00:06:45,074 So in relationships, to me, conflict is-- 199 00:06:45,155 --> 00:06:46,165 I don’t know. 200 00:06:46,281 --> 00:06:47,701 - Mm-hmm, got it. 201 00:06:47,782 --> 00:06:49,872 So you basically grew up with the trauma 202 00:06:49,951 --> 00:06:52,251 of, like, at home, let me just make sure everything’s OK, 203 00:06:52,329 --> 00:06:54,209 and everybody is, like, loving, and I’m loving. 204 00:06:54,289 --> 00:06:55,959 But I can’t really talk about what’s going on at school. 205 00:06:56,041 --> 00:06:58,331 So I learned to suppress. - Mm-hmm. 206 00:06:58,460 --> 00:07:01,050 - And then I don’t have a model that I was exposed to 207 00:07:01,129 --> 00:07:03,799 about what communication looks like in a marriage. 208 00:07:03,924 --> 00:07:09,014 So then when I get married, I’m bringing that same idea here. 209 00:07:09,137 --> 00:07:10,557 Here’s the thing. 210 00:07:10,639 --> 00:07:12,349 You have the ability to change that. 211 00:07:12,474 --> 00:07:14,524 - Mm-hmm. 212 00:07:14,643 --> 00:07:16,813 - What do you feel are the things that are keeping you 213 00:07:16,895 --> 00:07:21,485 from just telling him exactly how you feel 214 00:07:21,566 --> 00:07:23,986 and asking him exactly what you want him to do? 215 00:07:24,069 --> 00:07:26,649 - I think I’m more so worried about the response. 216 00:07:26,780 --> 00:07:28,610 - OK, so let’s talk about that. - Mm-hmm. 217 00:07:28,698 --> 00:07:32,828 - What is the response you’re actually afraid of? 218 00:07:32,953 --> 00:07:35,083 - I think I’m more so worried that he’s gonna--like, 219 00:07:35,163 --> 00:07:36,623 if I say, like, where are we, like, 220 00:07:36,706 --> 00:07:38,076 how are you feeling about this marriage, 221 00:07:38,166 --> 00:07:39,706 or I’m thinking he’s gonna be like, 222 00:07:39,834 --> 00:07:41,344 yeah, I’m really not in it. 223 00:07:41,419 --> 00:07:43,549 - Let’s say you get that response, right? 224 00:07:43,672 --> 00:07:45,512 OK, that response is neither here nor there. 225 00:07:45,590 --> 00:07:46,720 It’s not an indictment on Jasmine. 226 00:07:46,841 --> 00:07:48,261 - Mm-hmm. 227 00:07:48,343 --> 00:07:49,513 - You are still amazing and wonderful. 228 00:07:49,636 --> 00:07:52,046 So if he may have that response, 229 00:07:52,180 --> 00:07:55,220 that truth may actually be additive to you 230 00:07:55,350 --> 00:07:59,600 versus living in a fantasy. 231 00:07:59,688 --> 00:08:01,398 Do you really want to live in a situation 232 00:08:01,523 --> 00:08:02,693 where you really don’t know 233 00:08:02,774 --> 00:08:03,654 where you are and your spouse is? 234 00:08:03,733 --> 00:08:05,693 - No. 235 00:08:05,819 --> 00:08:06,739 - We don’t know what Airris is gonna say. 236 00:08:06,861 --> 00:08:07,571 We’re not gonna worry about that. 237 00:08:07,696 --> 00:08:09,106 - Mm-hmm. 238 00:08:09,197 --> 00:08:10,447 - What we’re gonna worry about is Jasmine 239 00:08:10,532 --> 00:08:12,782 having the confidence and the courage 240 00:08:12,867 --> 00:08:15,077 to go in there and say, we gotta talk. 241 00:08:15,203 --> 00:08:17,543 - Yeah. 242 00:08:17,622 --> 00:08:20,422 - ♪ No, it’s never too late ♪ 243 00:08:20,542 --> 00:08:21,542 ♪ ♪ 244 00:08:21,626 --> 00:08:24,746 [upbeat music] 245 00:08:24,879 --> 00:08:28,469 ♪ ♪ 246 00:08:28,550 --> 00:08:31,510 - ♪ I’m finally taking it all in ♪ 247 00:08:31,594 --> 00:08:34,854 [water running] 248 00:08:34,931 --> 00:08:35,891 - Hey. 249 00:08:35,974 --> 00:08:37,484 - Hello, hello. 250 00:08:37,559 --> 00:08:39,599 I can’t even see you with all your camo. 251 00:08:39,728 --> 00:08:41,348 ♪ ♪ 252 00:08:41,438 --> 00:08:43,108 I fed the boys. 253 00:08:43,231 --> 00:08:44,321 - Kobe ate really quick this time. 254 00:08:44,399 --> 00:08:46,229 He usually saves it. 255 00:08:46,359 --> 00:08:49,899 - Yeah, well, because Kodah ate half his food this morning. 256 00:08:50,030 --> 00:08:52,660 OK. 257 00:08:52,741 --> 00:08:55,491 - I know it’s been a kind of emotional and deep 258 00:08:55,577 --> 00:08:56,987 couple of weeks for you. 259 00:08:57,078 --> 00:08:58,868 So I just wanted to make sure that we’re talking 260 00:08:58,955 --> 00:09:02,205 through everything, and that if there’s something 261 00:09:02,292 --> 00:09:03,882 that I’m not doing that I should be doing, like, 262 00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:06,000 I want to make sure that I’m doing that. 263 00:09:06,087 --> 00:09:09,127 - When I say I need space and alone time, 264 00:09:09,257 --> 00:09:10,627 it’s because, in the moment, I do, 265 00:09:10,759 --> 00:09:16,099 but I would love for you to almost not let me have that. 266 00:09:16,222 --> 00:09:18,642 - If you want space and you tell me you want space, 267 00:09:18,767 --> 00:09:21,187 I shouldn’t give you space? 268 00:09:21,269 --> 00:09:22,439 That’s just kind of confusing. 269 00:09:22,520 --> 00:09:26,360 [tense music] 270 00:09:26,441 --> 00:09:28,531 If you’re feeling a certain way and I don’t know 271 00:09:28,610 --> 00:09:30,740 you’re feeling a certain way... - Right. 272 00:09:30,820 --> 00:09:34,200 - How am I supposed to, like, find out? 273 00:09:34,282 --> 00:09:36,992 - What I mean is if I say to you, 274 00:09:37,118 --> 00:09:41,118 I need space, please, like, let me have space, 275 00:09:41,247 --> 00:09:43,117 that means what it means. 276 00:09:43,208 --> 00:09:45,458 But if I’m like, I’m just gonna sit in the other room, 277 00:09:45,543 --> 00:09:47,003 I have a lot of feelings, 278 00:09:47,128 --> 00:09:49,128 I don’t know how to process them yet, 279 00:09:49,214 --> 00:09:52,634 maybe ask if I want to sit in the living room 280 00:09:52,717 --> 00:09:54,337 or can you sit with me? 281 00:09:54,469 --> 00:09:55,799 Because if I don’t know how to process it, 282 00:09:55,929 --> 00:09:57,309 I don’t. 283 00:09:57,430 --> 00:09:59,600 But it might be easier to process 284 00:09:59,682 --> 00:10:04,022 if I could say things out loud, even if it doesn’t make sense. 285 00:10:04,145 --> 00:10:06,265 ♪ ♪ 286 00:10:06,356 --> 00:10:08,016 In my past experience-- 287 00:10:08,149 --> 00:10:12,399 experiences, any time I’ve gotten emotional 288 00:10:12,487 --> 00:10:14,567 or had any feeling that I want to share 289 00:10:14,656 --> 00:10:16,946 or, you know, I’m not feeling good about something 290 00:10:17,033 --> 00:10:20,243 and I bring it up, I’ve almost been pushed to the side. 291 00:10:20,328 --> 00:10:21,698 Like, my feelings don’t matter. 292 00:10:21,830 --> 00:10:24,460 They’re not relevant or, like, uh, I don’t-- 293 00:10:24,541 --> 00:10:27,921 I’ve literally had a guy say to me, like, I’m not here 294 00:10:28,002 --> 00:10:29,922 to deal with your baggage, so figure it out 295 00:10:30,004 --> 00:10:32,594 and then come back. 296 00:10:32,674 --> 00:10:35,554 So I immediately--when I get upset, I’m like, great, 297 00:10:35,677 --> 00:10:37,137 he’s gonna not want to deal with it. 298 00:10:37,220 --> 00:10:40,350 He’s gonna like me less. 299 00:10:40,473 --> 00:10:42,063 - I want you to know that, like, 300 00:10:42,183 --> 00:10:43,983 I’m not scared by anything, 301 00:10:44,060 --> 00:10:45,480 like, that you’re going through, like-- 302 00:10:45,562 --> 00:10:48,442 - Rationally, I know that you are not going anywhere. 303 00:10:48,523 --> 00:10:52,403 Deep down, my inner, inner core does not know that yet. 304 00:10:52,527 --> 00:10:56,237 ♪ ♪ 305 00:10:56,364 --> 00:10:58,454 Eventually, the plan is to get to the point 306 00:10:58,533 --> 00:10:59,953 where I don’t even think these thoughts, 307 00:11:00,034 --> 00:11:02,454 but until I get there, 308 00:11:02,537 --> 00:11:05,037 I’m going to need more validation and reassurance. 309 00:11:05,123 --> 00:11:07,383 And if this isn’t something you’re willing to do, 310 00:11:07,458 --> 00:11:08,578 there’s the door. 311 00:11:08,710 --> 00:11:11,250 If you are interested, please stay. 312 00:11:11,379 --> 00:11:14,759 ♪ ♪ 313 00:11:14,883 --> 00:11:18,343 - I’m not--the door is not even in my eyesight. 314 00:11:18,428 --> 00:11:19,928 I don’t want--I don’t want to-- 315 00:11:20,054 --> 00:11:21,814 I don’t want to push you away in any way, 316 00:11:21,890 --> 00:11:23,850 and I don’t want you to, like, pull away in any way. 317 00:11:23,933 --> 00:11:27,483 So, like, just know that I’m here for the long haul. 318 00:11:27,562 --> 00:11:31,072 I’m not here for anything else other than for our marriage. 319 00:11:31,191 --> 00:11:32,941 - OK, thank you for saying that. 320 00:11:33,067 --> 00:11:36,197 And I am going to take that and tell myself 321 00:11:36,279 --> 00:11:37,779 that you are saying it because you want to 322 00:11:37,906 --> 00:11:40,946 and not because you feel like you have to. 323 00:11:41,075 --> 00:11:46,205 ♪ ♪ 324 00:11:46,289 --> 00:11:47,369 [upbeat music] 325 00:11:47,457 --> 00:11:48,827 - ♪ Working on my big dreams ♪ 326 00:11:48,917 --> 00:11:51,497 ♪ Blank check, zero drama ♪ 327 00:11:51,586 --> 00:11:53,496 ♪ Working on my big life ♪ 328 00:11:53,588 --> 00:11:55,838 ♪ You cost big boy dollars ♪ 329 00:11:55,924 --> 00:11:58,014 ♪ Working on my big dreams ♪ 330 00:11:58,092 --> 00:11:58,882 ♪ Blank check, zero drama ♪ 331 00:11:58,968 --> 00:12:00,218 [phone ringing] 332 00:12:00,303 --> 00:12:02,513 ♪ Working on my ♪ 333 00:12:02,597 --> 00:12:04,137 - Oh, God. 334 00:12:06,976 --> 00:12:07,936 Hello. 335 00:12:08,019 --> 00:12:09,399 - Hi, there. 336 00:12:09,479 --> 00:12:11,149 - How you been? 337 00:12:11,272 --> 00:12:13,022 - I’m doing fine. How are you? 338 00:12:13,107 --> 00:12:14,527 - I’m doing great. I feel like 339 00:12:14,609 --> 00:12:16,859 I haven’t seen you or talked to you in a while. 340 00:12:16,945 --> 00:12:17,865 Have you talked to Shaquille? 341 00:12:17,946 --> 00:12:19,196 - You know I have. 342 00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:20,530 - I was gonna say, I feel like you have. 343 00:12:20,615 --> 00:12:21,745 Yeah, he-- - So how are y’all doing? 344 00:12:21,824 --> 00:12:23,124 - We’re doing all right. 345 00:12:23,243 --> 00:12:25,043 I just feel like he’s a little, you know, 346 00:12:25,119 --> 00:12:26,999 stressed out and overwhelmed right now. 347 00:12:27,121 --> 00:12:29,711 And I just kind of wanted to get some insight in, like, 348 00:12:29,791 --> 00:12:31,831 how I can be there and communicate with him 349 00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:34,170 during these times, because I don’t want him, 350 00:12:34,295 --> 00:12:36,375 you know, to feel stressed out and overwhelmed. 351 00:12:36,464 --> 00:12:38,384 And I always tell him, like, how he feel 352 00:12:38,466 --> 00:12:40,676 is very important to me. 353 00:12:40,802 --> 00:12:43,392 - I don’t know exactly what’s all going on between you guys, 354 00:12:43,471 --> 00:12:46,181 but you need to be more supportive. 355 00:12:46,307 --> 00:12:48,847 [tense music] 356 00:12:48,977 --> 00:12:50,687 It’s some--it’s some miscommunications 357 00:12:50,812 --> 00:12:52,152 and everything. - Yeah. 358 00:12:52,230 --> 00:12:53,730 - And you’re not supporting him the way 359 00:12:53,815 --> 00:12:56,445 that he would like to be supported, you know, 360 00:12:56,526 --> 00:12:58,236 because I know he really wish you would have been there 361 00:12:58,319 --> 00:12:59,989 with him this past weekend. 362 00:13:00,113 --> 00:13:01,533 - How’s everything going? 363 00:13:01,656 --> 00:13:04,736 How’s the recruiting and everything going? 364 00:13:04,826 --> 00:13:06,536 - It’s been good. 365 00:13:06,661 --> 00:13:09,791 The president, she was really happy with the setup. 366 00:13:09,872 --> 00:13:14,132 So this was really a productive trip. 367 00:13:14,210 --> 00:13:15,800 - He’s really hurt behind it. - Mm-hmm. 368 00:13:15,878 --> 00:13:17,418 - He really is. 369 00:13:17,505 --> 00:13:19,255 I just want to let you know, he is, you know? 370 00:13:19,340 --> 00:13:20,970 - Mm-hmm, we had a long conversation about that, 371 00:13:21,050 --> 00:13:23,510 and, you know, I even apologized to him. 372 00:13:23,594 --> 00:13:26,764 I was like, well, I’m sorry I wasn’t there physically. 373 00:13:26,848 --> 00:13:29,268 We just had a miscommunication. 374 00:13:29,350 --> 00:13:31,310 - OK, and have you been there for him since? 375 00:13:31,394 --> 00:13:33,194 - Oh, yeah, like, I text him throughout the day. 376 00:13:33,271 --> 00:13:35,111 I send him affirmations 377 00:13:35,189 --> 00:13:37,319 because I know he likes affirmations sometimes. 378 00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:40,570 - I’m not there to see what’s going on between you guys, 379 00:13:40,695 --> 00:13:44,165 but from the conversations that I had, 380 00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:46,030 it was not all of that. 381 00:13:46,117 --> 00:13:48,117 ♪ ♪ 382 00:13:48,202 --> 00:13:50,792 - I’m gonna do everything in my control, you know, 383 00:13:50,872 --> 00:13:54,122 and in my power that I could possibly do, you know, to-- 384 00:13:54,208 --> 00:13:56,038 - OK, support him. 385 00:13:56,127 --> 00:13:59,127 - Yeah. - That’s number one. 386 00:13:59,213 --> 00:14:00,593 He’s really under a lot of stress right now. 387 00:14:00,715 --> 00:14:02,225 - Mm-hmm. 388 00:14:02,300 --> 00:14:03,760 - And he needs you more than anything. 389 00:14:03,885 --> 00:14:05,725 ♪ ♪ 390 00:14:09,432 --> 00:14:12,522 - ♪ Oh, oh, you changed my heart ♪ 391 00:14:12,602 --> 00:14:15,602 ♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ 392 00:14:15,730 --> 00:14:17,360 - Are you about to start cooking? 393 00:14:17,440 --> 00:14:19,150 - Yes, ma’am. 394 00:14:19,233 --> 00:14:22,363 So we’re gonna make a catfish po’ boy. 395 00:14:22,445 --> 00:14:23,825 So we’re gonna get some oil going. 396 00:14:23,905 --> 00:14:25,705 - And we’re putting moonshine pickles? 397 00:14:25,782 --> 00:14:26,662 - Heck yeah. 398 00:14:26,741 --> 00:14:27,831 - Whoo! 399 00:14:27,909 --> 00:14:28,989 - Yeah, those are hot tamales. 400 00:14:29,077 --> 00:14:30,037 - Mm-hmm. 401 00:14:30,119 --> 00:14:31,449 - Those will get you. 402 00:14:31,579 --> 00:14:32,959 So-- 403 00:14:33,081 --> 00:14:34,041 - I think they’re stronger than they were 404 00:14:34,123 --> 00:14:35,333 when I first had them. 405 00:14:35,416 --> 00:14:38,336 ♪ ♪ 406 00:14:38,419 --> 00:14:39,339 Whoa. 407 00:14:39,420 --> 00:14:41,460 - Yeah. 408 00:14:41,589 --> 00:14:44,839 - That is a shot. 409 00:14:44,926 --> 00:14:48,006 - Ooh, these are nice, healthy pieces. 410 00:14:48,096 --> 00:14:50,716 - Oh, yeah, that’s massive. 411 00:14:50,807 --> 00:14:53,677 - I love cooking for the people that I care about. 412 00:14:53,768 --> 00:14:56,308 That’s one of the things that I do to kind of put 413 00:14:56,437 --> 00:14:59,187 a personal spin on, like, hey, I’m gonna spend time, 414 00:14:59,273 --> 00:15:01,823 and I’m thinking of you while I’m doing this. 415 00:15:01,943 --> 00:15:03,903 So I’m putting a lot of thoughtfulness 416 00:15:03,986 --> 00:15:05,696 into what I’m actually making. 417 00:15:05,780 --> 00:15:07,070 ♪ ♪ 418 00:15:07,156 --> 00:15:10,196 - That is so good. 419 00:15:10,284 --> 00:15:11,704 Just like grandma’s, you know? 420 00:15:11,786 --> 00:15:12,696 - Isn’t that crunch just ridiculous? 421 00:15:12,787 --> 00:15:13,787 - Uh-huh. 422 00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:15,833 [laughs] 423 00:15:15,957 --> 00:15:17,287 - It’s nice being able to cook some food together. 424 00:15:17,417 --> 00:15:19,877 - Yeah, it gets lonely cooking by yourself, you know? 425 00:15:19,961 --> 00:15:21,131 - Yeah. 426 00:15:21,212 --> 00:15:22,382 - That’s why I stopped doing it, 427 00:15:22,463 --> 00:15:23,713 because I was like, I’m just wasting money 428 00:15:23,798 --> 00:15:25,258 when you’re cooking for one. 429 00:15:25,341 --> 00:15:27,301 - Yeah, it’s like, when people appreciate 430 00:15:27,385 --> 00:15:28,555 the food and the effort... 431 00:15:28,636 --> 00:15:30,216 - Uh-huh. 432 00:15:30,304 --> 00:15:32,394 - That makes you want to do it more. 433 00:15:32,473 --> 00:15:34,063 - Yeah. 434 00:15:34,142 --> 00:15:36,942 I feel like we are designed to have a partner in life, 435 00:15:37,019 --> 00:15:41,399 and marriage is definitely a partnership and something 436 00:15:41,482 --> 00:15:44,742 that, you know, each equal partner brings something 437 00:15:44,819 --> 00:15:48,069 different to the table to really make life 438 00:15:48,156 --> 00:15:51,576 easier and more enjoyable. 439 00:15:51,659 --> 00:15:53,119 I care about him. 440 00:15:53,202 --> 00:15:54,912 I think he has a massive heart. 441 00:15:54,996 --> 00:15:56,616 You know, we still have a little time left 442 00:15:56,706 --> 00:15:58,576 before Decision Day, and so I’m hoping that 443 00:15:58,666 --> 00:16:02,586 we can just use it wisely. 444 00:16:02,670 --> 00:16:05,920 - Like, I like to have my Gina time too. 445 00:16:06,007 --> 00:16:07,417 - I can handle that. 446 00:16:07,508 --> 00:16:12,098 - ♪ I won’t give up on you ♪ 447 00:16:12,180 --> 00:16:15,100 - ♪ Sky, crashing waves in the moonlight ♪ 448 00:16:15,183 --> 00:16:17,943 ♪ Time stops, fading in the high tide ♪ 449 00:16:18,019 --> 00:16:19,269 [knocking on door] - Hey, how’s it going, man? 450 00:16:19,353 --> 00:16:20,653 - What’s up, man? - How are you doing? 451 00:16:20,730 --> 00:16:21,610 - How are you doing? DeVon. - Nice to meet you, bro. 452 00:16:21,689 --> 00:16:22,939 - Nice to meet you, man. 453 00:16:23,024 --> 00:16:24,024 I’ve heard a lot of good things about you. 454 00:16:24,150 --> 00:16:25,860 - Thank you, man. Appreciate it. 455 00:16:25,943 --> 00:16:27,613 - How’s your day going? 456 00:16:27,695 --> 00:16:29,275 - Oh, cool, just getting off work. 457 00:16:29,363 --> 00:16:30,613 I’ve got a lot going on. 458 00:16:30,698 --> 00:16:32,368 - So I’m here to help, man. 459 00:16:32,450 --> 00:16:36,040 I had heard that the physical attraction was an issue. 460 00:16:36,120 --> 00:16:38,790 And then, you know, talk to me first of all about that. 461 00:16:38,873 --> 00:16:40,463 - That’s, like, the biggest hurdle, 462 00:16:40,541 --> 00:16:43,001 and I feel like that’s causing, like, most of the issues 463 00:16:43,085 --> 00:16:43,995 because she feels it too. 464 00:16:44,086 --> 00:16:45,296 You know what I mean? 465 00:16:45,379 --> 00:16:46,459 So it’s like, she feels my energy, 466 00:16:46,547 --> 00:16:47,297 like, not where it should be. 467 00:16:47,381 --> 00:16:48,631 - Mm-hmm. 468 00:16:48,716 --> 00:16:50,466 - So it’s just-- and it’s just new territory. 469 00:16:50,551 --> 00:16:52,391 - Mm-hmm. 470 00:16:52,470 --> 00:16:56,680 What are the things you find appealing about Jasmine? 471 00:16:56,766 --> 00:16:57,976 - She has a passion. 472 00:16:58,059 --> 00:16:59,809 You know, like, a lot of people just 473 00:16:59,894 --> 00:17:01,154 go to work for a paycheck, you know, 474 00:17:01,229 --> 00:17:02,479 to pay the bills. - Yeah. 475 00:17:02,563 --> 00:17:04,193 - She’s got her dog breeding business, 476 00:17:04,273 --> 00:17:06,153 cheerleading coach, aesthetician. 477 00:17:06,234 --> 00:17:08,324 You know, it’s like she do multiple things. 478 00:17:08,402 --> 00:17:09,492 I feel like that’s appealing. 479 00:17:09,570 --> 00:17:10,820 You know, that’s attractive. 480 00:17:10,905 --> 00:17:14,165 And she has, like, a calming presence. 481 00:17:14,242 --> 00:17:16,742 Like, I feel like the world is crazy, 482 00:17:16,869 --> 00:17:18,949 so, like, your home should be, like, your safe haven. 483 00:17:19,080 --> 00:17:20,080 - Right. 484 00:17:20,164 --> 00:17:21,714 - So there’s things, yeah. 485 00:17:21,791 --> 00:17:23,331 - But there’s a lot of things. 486 00:17:23,417 --> 00:17:25,247 - Right, right. 487 00:17:25,336 --> 00:17:27,166 - So you know appealing is just another word for attractive. 488 00:17:27,255 --> 00:17:29,015 - Right. 489 00:17:29,090 --> 00:17:30,760 - So my question, though, for you is do you want 490 00:17:30,883 --> 00:17:32,723 to become more attracted to her? 491 00:17:35,137 --> 00:17:37,387 - I do, but, like, a person can’t, 492 00:17:37,473 --> 00:17:39,183 like, change or, like, I can’t get taller 493 00:17:39,267 --> 00:17:40,267 or whatever, whatever. 494 00:17:40,351 --> 00:17:42,271 So, like, I’m who I am. 495 00:17:42,353 --> 00:17:43,693 She’s who she is. 496 00:17:43,771 --> 00:17:45,111 - What line of work are you in again? 497 00:17:45,231 --> 00:17:47,021 - Software development. 498 00:17:47,108 --> 00:17:48,528 - So and what’s your position? 499 00:17:48,609 --> 00:17:50,689 - Product analyst. - Product analyst? 500 00:17:50,778 --> 00:17:52,528 Mm-hmm. Are you good at it? 501 00:17:52,613 --> 00:17:54,033 - Yeah, I feel like I’m good at it. 502 00:17:54,115 --> 00:17:55,205 - Yeah, and you’re passionate about it. 503 00:17:55,283 --> 00:17:56,493 - Right. - Got it. 504 00:17:56,617 --> 00:17:58,617 - And you put in the effort the job requires? 505 00:17:58,744 --> 00:18:00,334 - Yes. - OK. 506 00:18:00,454 --> 00:18:01,544 Do you feel like you’re putting in 507 00:18:01,622 --> 00:18:03,422 the same effort in your job 508 00:18:03,499 --> 00:18:06,129 that you’re putting into your marriage? 509 00:18:06,252 --> 00:18:08,132 - No. - OK, why not? 510 00:18:10,047 --> 00:18:13,007 - For one, like, if I lose my job, 511 00:18:13,134 --> 00:18:14,054 man, a lot can happen, you know? 512 00:18:14,135 --> 00:18:15,395 Like, I might be-- 513 00:18:15,469 --> 00:18:16,719 car gone. 514 00:18:16,804 --> 00:18:18,434 I ain’t got no roof over my head. 515 00:18:18,514 --> 00:18:22,394 With this, if this don’t work, I can just say no. 516 00:18:22,476 --> 00:18:23,936 - Mm-hmm. 517 00:18:24,020 --> 00:18:26,110 - And you know, I didn’t hate my life pre-- 518 00:18:26,188 --> 00:18:27,818 like, I was fine, like-- 519 00:18:27,898 --> 00:18:31,778 - Mm-hmm, but is that how you want to live, fine? 520 00:18:31,861 --> 00:18:34,071 - No, I want to, like, share this world with, 521 00:18:34,155 --> 00:18:35,205 like, somebody else. 522 00:18:35,323 --> 00:18:36,743 - Mm-hmm. - Like, uplift someone, 523 00:18:36,824 --> 00:18:39,204 have that person uplift me, have my back. 524 00:18:39,327 --> 00:18:40,907 Like, I want children, you know? 525 00:18:40,995 --> 00:18:43,585 So a big part of that, of what’s missing in my life, 526 00:18:43,664 --> 00:18:44,964 is, like, a marriage. 527 00:18:45,041 --> 00:18:46,921 It’s marriage, so... 528 00:18:47,001 --> 00:18:49,461 - You want all these things, and you are married. 529 00:18:49,545 --> 00:18:50,915 - Right. - You have a wife... 530 00:18:51,005 --> 00:18:53,425 - Right. - That has the potential 531 00:18:53,507 --> 00:18:56,797 to give you everything you just said you wanted. 532 00:18:56,886 --> 00:18:58,426 - Correct. 533 00:18:58,512 --> 00:18:59,762 - Yet to your own admission, you’re not even 534 00:18:59,847 --> 00:19:02,217 putting in the effort to see if that potential 535 00:19:02,350 --> 00:19:04,100 can be realized. 536 00:19:04,185 --> 00:19:05,445 - I’m not doing as much as I could. 537 00:19:05,519 --> 00:19:07,439 - As much as you could do? - Yeah. 538 00:19:07,521 --> 00:19:10,151 - You know, so I’m curious from your vantage point, you know, 539 00:19:10,232 --> 00:19:12,692 when you think about, you know, this obstacle... 540 00:19:12,818 --> 00:19:14,188 - Right. 541 00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:16,280 - What would need to happen for you 542 00:19:16,364 --> 00:19:18,824 for you to feel like, OK, here’s how 543 00:19:18,908 --> 00:19:21,158 I could possibly get there? 544 00:19:23,204 --> 00:19:25,624 - I guess, like, a deeper connection 545 00:19:25,706 --> 00:19:29,786 and for her to, like, I guess, open up a little bit more. 546 00:19:29,877 --> 00:19:31,837 Like, even, like, Dr. Pepper gave us, 547 00:19:31,921 --> 00:19:33,801 like, a bowl of questions we had to ask each other. 548 00:19:33,881 --> 00:19:35,421 So, like, I might answer a question. 549 00:19:35,549 --> 00:19:37,299 I might, like, dive deep and, like, 550 00:19:37,385 --> 00:19:39,475 pour out into this question. 551 00:19:39,553 --> 00:19:43,523 And her answer might be, like, real surface level. 552 00:19:43,599 --> 00:19:45,139 - What about asking her some more questions? 553 00:19:45,226 --> 00:19:46,516 - Follow-up questions. 554 00:19:46,602 --> 00:19:48,152 - Yeah, instead of, you know, maybe saying, 555 00:19:48,229 --> 00:19:49,689 oh, well, I went deep and she didn’t, 556 00:19:49,772 --> 00:19:50,902 like, which is a judgment-- 557 00:19:51,023 --> 00:19:52,233 - Right. - Because maybe-- 558 00:19:52,358 --> 00:19:53,278 - Or here we again, right. 559 00:19:53,401 --> 00:19:54,691 - Right, exactly. 560 00:19:54,777 --> 00:19:56,147 So communication is one. - Right. 561 00:19:56,237 --> 00:19:57,147 - And deepening that. 562 00:19:57,238 --> 00:19:58,858 What else? 563 00:19:58,948 --> 00:20:00,988 - Being intimate, because in the beginning, 564 00:20:01,075 --> 00:20:03,045 right, like, there was, like, you know, 565 00:20:03,119 --> 00:20:05,329 peck kisses or, like, if I’m leaving out the house, a hug. 566 00:20:05,413 --> 00:20:07,213 - Mm-hmm. 567 00:20:07,289 --> 00:20:09,959 - And then when the whole, like, physical attraction 568 00:20:10,084 --> 00:20:12,344 got brought, like, out in the open, 569 00:20:12,420 --> 00:20:14,630 it just kind of created this distance. 570 00:20:14,755 --> 00:20:17,165 Like, it’s not, like, that big of a deal, 571 00:20:17,258 --> 00:20:19,128 but, like, it’s become a bigger deal 572 00:20:19,260 --> 00:20:21,640 because we’ve both allowed it to. 573 00:20:21,762 --> 00:20:23,352 - The more you just get in there 574 00:20:23,431 --> 00:20:26,021 and you take the initiative and break the ice, 575 00:20:26,100 --> 00:20:29,520 the more you’re gonna see what’s there for you. 576 00:20:29,603 --> 00:20:32,113 And I think part of what I would ask you to do 577 00:20:32,231 --> 00:20:36,781 is can you verbalize to her what your commitment is to her? 578 00:20:38,487 --> 00:20:39,857 - Yeah, I can do that. 579 00:20:39,947 --> 00:20:41,737 - And that’s what I really am getting at 580 00:20:41,824 --> 00:20:44,584 is, like, don’t let the "I’m not physically attracted" 581 00:20:44,660 --> 00:20:48,000 become a crutch and an excuse that gets you 582 00:20:48,122 --> 00:20:50,252 to Decision Day, and it becomes a, you know, 583 00:20:50,332 --> 00:20:52,382 predetermined outcome because you’ve already 584 00:20:52,460 --> 00:20:54,750 been using this as the excuse. 585 00:20:54,837 --> 00:20:56,587 - What I don’t want to happen is, like, 586 00:20:56,672 --> 00:20:59,842 Decision Day comes and, like, you know, 587 00:20:59,967 --> 00:21:01,677 five, six months later, I’m like, damn, 588 00:21:01,802 --> 00:21:03,302 I wish I would have did, you know, 589 00:21:03,429 --> 00:21:05,429 what DeVon told me, or what Dr. Pia told me, 590 00:21:05,514 --> 00:21:07,144 or--or just some things-- 591 00:21:07,266 --> 00:21:09,886 I have, you know, just no regrets. 592 00:21:09,977 --> 00:21:13,057 - Absolutely, and I’m gonna tell you something. 593 00:21:13,147 --> 00:21:15,267 If you don’t do it, 594 00:21:15,357 --> 00:21:16,857 you’re gonna find yourself in that place. 595 00:21:16,984 --> 00:21:19,904 - Yeah. Yeah. 596 00:21:19,987 --> 00:21:20,817 ♪ ♪ 597 00:21:24,450 --> 00:21:25,910 [upbeat music] 598 00:21:25,993 --> 00:21:28,083 ♪ ♪ 599 00:21:28,162 --> 00:21:30,662 - Just another day in paradise. 600 00:21:30,790 --> 00:21:32,920 Getting a little pedi with my boo. 601 00:21:33,000 --> 00:21:34,420 ♪ ♪ 602 00:21:34,502 --> 00:21:38,172 We heard we might be doing some whiskey tasting, 603 00:21:38,297 --> 00:21:39,837 some... 604 00:21:39,924 --> 00:21:41,474 [Southern accent] Country line dancin’. 605 00:21:41,550 --> 00:21:43,970 [upbeat country music] 606 00:21:44,053 --> 00:21:46,513 - ♪ We head out on the town ♪ 607 00:21:46,597 --> 00:21:48,517 ♪ Somewhere we can live it up ♪ 608 00:21:48,599 --> 00:21:51,019 ♪ And she can let her hair down ♪ 609 00:21:51,143 --> 00:21:52,853 ♪ ♪ 610 00:21:52,978 --> 00:21:54,518 - Hello, hello. 611 00:21:54,647 --> 00:21:57,517 ♪ ♪ 612 00:21:57,608 --> 00:21:59,278 Anyone else feeling sore from baseball? 613 00:21:59,360 --> 00:22:00,940 Because Chris will not admit it, 614 00:22:01,028 --> 00:22:03,028 but I will embarrass him that he’s feeling a little sore. 615 00:22:03,113 --> 00:22:04,873 - Oh. - My wrist is hurting. 616 00:22:04,990 --> 00:22:05,870 I ain’t even gonna lie. My wrist is hurting. 617 00:22:05,991 --> 00:22:07,701 - My hand was hurting. - Your hand? 618 00:22:07,785 --> 00:22:09,955 - How was the, what was it, Liquor Lab 619 00:22:10,037 --> 00:22:11,197 or something like that? - We were mixologists. 620 00:22:11,330 --> 00:22:12,540 - There you go. 621 00:22:12,623 --> 00:22:14,123 - If you guys need an espresso martini, 622 00:22:14,208 --> 00:22:15,628 we’ve got it. - We got you. 623 00:22:15,709 --> 00:22:17,129 - So what were y’all talking about? 624 00:22:17,211 --> 00:22:18,881 We weren’t there. We would like to know. 625 00:22:18,963 --> 00:22:21,053 - That is a good question. 626 00:22:21,131 --> 00:22:22,471 You know, a little bit of girl talk, 627 00:22:22,550 --> 00:22:24,970 so we can’t tell you everything that was said. 628 00:22:25,052 --> 00:22:27,222 But I think feelings were expressed in a way 629 00:22:27,346 --> 00:22:29,306 that we don’t always feel comfortable 630 00:22:29,390 --> 00:22:31,480 expressing in front of our husbands. 631 00:22:31,559 --> 00:22:34,639 [tense music] 632 00:22:34,728 --> 00:22:37,228 - I kind of had, like, you know, like, 633 00:22:37,356 --> 00:22:38,896 a little breakdown with the girls. 634 00:22:39,024 --> 00:22:40,734 Like, I got super emotional. 635 00:22:40,860 --> 00:22:42,990 ♪ ♪ 636 00:22:43,070 --> 00:22:45,320 You know, I try to be this strong person, 637 00:22:45,406 --> 00:22:48,736 but I just couldn’t be strong anymore. 638 00:22:48,826 --> 00:22:50,656 - I have to be honest with you. 639 00:22:50,744 --> 00:22:53,414 Seeing how upset Jasmine was broke my heart. 640 00:22:53,539 --> 00:22:54,409 - Oh, wait a minute. - Mine too. 641 00:22:54,540 --> 00:22:56,000 Mine too. 642 00:22:56,083 --> 00:22:58,593 - I know that you are trying as hard as you can, 643 00:22:58,669 --> 00:23:01,249 but I need you to try harder. 644 00:23:01,338 --> 00:23:03,758 And I need Jasmine to also try harder 645 00:23:03,841 --> 00:23:06,761 because you made it seem like you are not 646 00:23:06,886 --> 00:23:08,596 having conversations that you know you should have. 647 00:23:08,679 --> 00:23:10,759 Have them. 648 00:23:10,890 --> 00:23:12,810 ♪ ♪ 649 00:23:12,933 --> 00:23:14,563 This is something I have learned through this process. 650 00:23:14,643 --> 00:23:16,483 Being vulnerable makes you strong. 651 00:23:16,604 --> 00:23:17,604 - Yeah. - It does not... 652 00:23:17,688 --> 00:23:18,688 - It’s not weak. - Take that strong woman 653 00:23:18,772 --> 00:23:21,112 and make you weak. - Right. 654 00:23:21,233 --> 00:23:24,323 - Like, the worst thing would be to just internalize it 655 00:23:24,445 --> 00:23:25,865 and then let it build and build and build, 656 00:23:25,946 --> 00:23:27,276 and then it just blows up. 657 00:23:27,364 --> 00:23:28,454 - Everybody struggles with something. 658 00:23:28,574 --> 00:23:29,784 - Mm-hmm. 659 00:23:29,909 --> 00:23:31,119 - It’s always going to be something. 660 00:23:31,201 --> 00:23:32,701 You know, I’ve shared, like, things with Gina. 661 00:23:32,786 --> 00:23:36,536 Like, I had--one of my best friends had a mental illness, 662 00:23:36,624 --> 00:23:39,294 and he ended up taking himself out because of it. 663 00:23:39,418 --> 00:23:40,958 And nobody knew about it. 664 00:23:41,045 --> 00:23:42,135 And it was just like one of those things, like, 665 00:23:42,254 --> 00:23:44,214 if I look back and knew about it, 666 00:23:44,298 --> 00:23:46,468 I would harbor an atmosphere where 667 00:23:46,550 --> 00:23:49,010 he’d be comfortable to talk about it, but I never knew. 668 00:23:49,136 --> 00:23:51,806 - I had a friend in college, same thing. 669 00:23:51,889 --> 00:23:53,809 He just hid it from everybody. 670 00:23:53,891 --> 00:23:55,061 - Yeah. - So it sucked, man. 671 00:23:55,142 --> 00:23:56,642 And it was really hard for us, so-- 672 00:23:56,727 --> 00:23:57,977 - Yeah, suffering in silence. 673 00:23:58,103 --> 00:24:00,653 ♪ ♪ 674 00:24:00,773 --> 00:24:03,023 - Yeah, I--like, full transparency, 675 00:24:03,150 --> 00:24:05,490 I was that person before. 676 00:24:05,611 --> 00:24:08,071 - Oh, wow. - Like, yeah, 677 00:24:08,155 --> 00:24:09,655 everything seems to be going good, 678 00:24:09,782 --> 00:24:10,662 but on the inside, you’re fighting 679 00:24:10,741 --> 00:24:11,991 internal battles with yourself. 680 00:24:12,117 --> 00:24:15,827 And it’s kind of like, do anybody see me? 681 00:24:15,913 --> 00:24:18,003 Like, I don’t feel present in the moment. 682 00:24:18,123 --> 00:24:19,463 And then, like, that’s when 683 00:24:19,541 --> 00:24:21,671 I really decided to go to therapy. 684 00:24:21,794 --> 00:24:23,924 And in that moment, it was kind of like, OK, 685 00:24:24,004 --> 00:24:26,014 like, I get to unlearn some of these bad habits 686 00:24:26,090 --> 00:24:28,180 that got me thinking this way. 687 00:24:28,300 --> 00:24:30,090 And it was kind of like I was going through it in-- 688 00:24:30,177 --> 00:24:33,177 like, in silence. 689 00:24:33,305 --> 00:24:36,015 It was, like, a dark, dark place, and, like, 690 00:24:36,100 --> 00:24:37,520 I’m like-- when y’all talking about it, 691 00:24:37,601 --> 00:24:39,101 I’m like, dang, I was that guy, like-- 692 00:24:39,186 --> 00:24:40,516 - Yeah. - But you know, 693 00:24:40,646 --> 00:24:42,856 life has a special purpose. 694 00:24:42,940 --> 00:24:44,610 And you know, like, I’m just gonna live. 695 00:24:44,692 --> 00:24:47,112 - Sorry about that, man. - Cheers to that. 696 00:24:47,194 --> 00:24:48,204 - Cheers to that. - Cheers to living. 697 00:24:48,278 --> 00:24:49,528 - Cheers to living. 698 00:24:49,613 --> 00:24:50,863 Clink, clink, clink, clink, clink, clink. 699 00:24:55,411 --> 00:24:56,371 - Getting a little heavy. 700 00:24:56,495 --> 00:24:57,695 - Yeah. - No. 701 00:24:57,830 --> 00:24:59,210 No. - Yeah. 702 00:24:59,289 --> 00:25:00,709 - It’s like--it’s like a mini therapy session. 703 00:25:00,791 --> 00:25:02,131 - I know. I feel like I started that. 704 00:25:02,209 --> 00:25:04,039 So I’m going to close the loop 705 00:25:04,128 --> 00:25:05,048 and say this is always a safe space. 706 00:25:05,170 --> 00:25:06,420 - Yeah. 707 00:25:06,547 --> 00:25:07,457 - Shaq, thank you so much for sharing that. 708 00:25:07,548 --> 00:25:08,468 - Yeah, dude. - And we are all 709 00:25:08,549 --> 00:25:10,219 so thankful that, you know, 710 00:25:10,300 --> 00:25:12,550 you were able to overcome that, and I’m sure, 711 00:25:12,636 --> 00:25:14,096 you know, feelings come and go. 712 00:25:14,221 --> 00:25:17,181 So it’s not like it’s just gone in your past. 713 00:25:17,266 --> 00:25:19,226 And if anything ever comes up, we are here for you. 714 00:25:19,309 --> 00:25:21,729 You have an amazing wife who I know wants 715 00:25:21,812 --> 00:25:23,732 to be there for you every chance she gets. 716 00:25:23,814 --> 00:25:26,324 So please utilize her as a resource. 717 00:25:26,400 --> 00:25:30,240 ♪ ♪ 718 00:25:30,320 --> 00:25:31,740 I’m speaking for you, Kirsten. 719 00:25:31,822 --> 00:25:33,572 I’m sorry, but I know that that is the truth. 720 00:25:33,699 --> 00:25:35,329 - Sure. 721 00:25:35,409 --> 00:25:37,329 ♪ ♪ 722 00:25:40,414 --> 00:25:43,334 [tense music] 723 00:25:43,417 --> 00:25:50,377 ♪ ♪ 724 00:25:58,849 --> 00:26:00,099 - What’s the matter? 725 00:26:03,103 --> 00:26:06,773 - I wasn’t OK because of the comment that Nicole made. 726 00:26:06,899 --> 00:26:08,109 - OK. 727 00:26:08,192 --> 00:26:10,942 - And you had nothing to say about it. 728 00:26:11,070 --> 00:26:14,280 So with me being vulnerable in that moment, 729 00:26:14,406 --> 00:26:19,946 another wife spoke on behalf of you, 730 00:26:20,079 --> 00:26:22,459 and you had nothing to say for it. 731 00:26:22,581 --> 00:26:26,291 - I didn’t even get a split second to say anything. 732 00:26:26,418 --> 00:26:29,128 ♪ ♪ 733 00:26:29,213 --> 00:26:31,463 I put my hand on your leg when you were talking. 734 00:26:31,590 --> 00:26:33,880 I rubbed your back as well. 735 00:26:33,967 --> 00:26:35,637 I don’t want you to ever feel like you’re alone. 736 00:26:35,761 --> 00:26:36,721 - Yeah. 737 00:26:36,804 --> 00:26:38,474 - Like, you can always tell me. 738 00:26:38,555 --> 00:26:39,965 And you can always talk to me. 739 00:26:40,099 --> 00:26:41,809 I may not always be able to be next to you, but-- 740 00:26:41,934 --> 00:26:43,484 - Like, but when you say-- you’re like, oh, 741 00:26:43,602 --> 00:26:45,062 I’m always here, you know you can talk to me 742 00:26:45,145 --> 00:26:46,645 about stuff, yeah, I do. 743 00:26:46,730 --> 00:26:48,320 But it’s kind of like, damn, when I need you to be there, 744 00:26:48,398 --> 00:26:50,318 it’s kind of like-- 745 00:26:50,400 --> 00:26:51,820 - Just because I’m not right beside you 746 00:26:51,944 --> 00:26:53,494 doesn’t mean I’m not there for you. 747 00:26:53,570 --> 00:26:54,990 - But that’s the point. 748 00:26:55,072 --> 00:26:57,032 I want you to be right next side of me. 749 00:26:57,157 --> 00:26:58,367 I want you to be there. 750 00:26:58,492 --> 00:26:59,492 I need you to be there. 751 00:26:59,576 --> 00:27:00,406 It’s not a want no more. 752 00:27:00,494 --> 00:27:02,004 It’s a need. 753 00:27:02,121 --> 00:27:05,001 And when stuff happens, it’s kind of like-- 754 00:27:05,082 --> 00:27:06,922 when I told you what happened, 755 00:27:07,000 --> 00:27:10,000 I would have felt better if you was there. 756 00:27:10,129 --> 00:27:11,339 When I was in Memphis, I found out 757 00:27:11,421 --> 00:27:12,671 I would not be graduating on time. 758 00:27:12,756 --> 00:27:14,836 I’m a goal-oriented person, 759 00:27:14,967 --> 00:27:16,927 and to find out I won’t be graduating on time, 760 00:27:17,010 --> 00:27:18,850 it’s like--it was a moment that I really 761 00:27:18,971 --> 00:27:21,851 just needed my wife by my side, but she wasn’t there. 762 00:27:21,932 --> 00:27:23,522 - I’m telling you, like, you can still 763 00:27:23,642 --> 00:27:25,852 call me if I’m not there with you. 764 00:27:25,936 --> 00:27:28,016 - It’s not a phone call, though. 765 00:27:28,105 --> 00:27:29,735 It’s not a phone call. 766 00:27:29,857 --> 00:27:34,107 If I--if it’s a phone call, hell, we gonna hang up, 767 00:27:34,194 --> 00:27:35,864 and we gonna go our separate ways. 768 00:27:35,988 --> 00:27:40,528 ♪ ♪ 769 00:27:44,204 --> 00:27:45,374 - I understand what you’re saying 770 00:27:45,497 --> 00:27:47,457 when you say you want me there and you need me there. 771 00:27:47,541 --> 00:27:50,041 And I’m sorry that I wasn’t there for you. 772 00:27:50,127 --> 00:27:54,207 But going forward, if you want me to be somewhere with you, 773 00:27:54,298 --> 00:27:55,758 say that at the very beginning. 774 00:27:55,883 --> 00:27:56,933 Just say that. 775 00:27:57,050 --> 00:27:58,800 Kirsten, I want you there. So... 776 00:27:58,886 --> 00:28:00,506 - Kirsten, I said I wanted you there 777 00:28:00,596 --> 00:28:02,556 because I made hotel accommodations. 778 00:28:02,681 --> 00:28:04,521 Then you said you wasn’t gonna come down till Friday. 779 00:28:04,600 --> 00:28:06,390 And you say--I was like, OK. 780 00:28:06,476 --> 00:28:08,346 And then you brought up how you had to-- 781 00:28:08,437 --> 00:28:10,517 or you had to work on Sunday. 782 00:28:10,606 --> 00:28:12,726 ♪ ♪ 783 00:28:12,816 --> 00:28:13,976 - Oh, Lord. 784 00:28:14,067 --> 00:28:15,277 - Where’s--where’s Kirsten and Shaq? 785 00:28:15,402 --> 00:28:16,362 Like-- - I don’t know. 786 00:28:16,445 --> 00:28:17,245 - Did they go to the bathroom? 787 00:28:17,362 --> 00:28:18,362 - They left us. 788 00:28:18,447 --> 00:28:20,067 - They’ve been gone a while. 789 00:28:20,199 --> 00:28:21,699 - Maybe he was having a moment after he shared and-- 790 00:28:21,783 --> 00:28:24,203 - Yeah, I mean, he shared something pretty deep. 791 00:28:24,286 --> 00:28:28,576 - I want you to know that we’re in this together, Shaquille. 792 00:28:28,707 --> 00:28:32,207 I want you to know that, and I want you to feel that. 793 00:28:32,294 --> 00:28:35,924 I told you weeks ago I want you to be happy. 794 00:28:38,508 --> 00:28:40,888 OK? - OK. 795 00:28:40,969 --> 00:28:42,719 ♪ ♪ 796 00:28:42,804 --> 00:28:44,224 - Can I have a hug? 797 00:28:44,306 --> 00:28:50,896 ♪ ♪ 798 00:28:53,523 --> 00:28:56,283 I really want you to know that I am here for you. 799 00:28:56,360 --> 00:28:57,690 I really do. 800 00:28:57,778 --> 00:29:04,698 ♪ ♪ 801 00:29:08,705 --> 00:29:10,455 - Welcome back, guys. - Yeah, welcome back, guys. 802 00:29:10,540 --> 00:29:11,790 - Thank you. - We OK? 803 00:29:11,875 --> 00:29:13,035 Is everything good? - Yeah. 804 00:29:13,126 --> 00:29:15,626 We’re miscommunicating when it comes to me 805 00:29:15,754 --> 00:29:17,634 attending his work events because I’m like, 806 00:29:17,714 --> 00:29:19,804 Shaquille, you waited until the event is over 807 00:29:19,883 --> 00:29:22,763 and you express to me how badly you wanted me to be there. 808 00:29:22,844 --> 00:29:24,764 But now that I know every single event, 809 00:29:24,846 --> 00:29:27,306 he wants me to be there, I’m just gonna go ahead 810 00:29:27,391 --> 00:29:29,981 and take the initiative and put it on my calendar 811 00:29:30,060 --> 00:29:32,940 and attend those events. 812 00:29:33,021 --> 00:29:36,321 - But what do you need for Shaq to know in order 813 00:29:36,441 --> 00:29:38,991 to, like, move forward? 814 00:29:39,069 --> 00:29:41,489 - Just to be assertive, like, to tell me when you need me. 815 00:29:41,571 --> 00:29:43,321 - What you want. 816 00:29:43,407 --> 00:29:44,987 - Yeah, what you want from me, what you need from me. 817 00:29:45,117 --> 00:29:48,827 And when you tell me, then I’ll proceed. 818 00:29:53,667 --> 00:29:55,287 - That’s very direct, and I told him, like, 819 00:29:55,377 --> 00:29:57,667 I do need, like, a direct statement. 820 00:29:59,881 --> 00:30:01,301 - Maybe try that next time. 821 00:30:01,383 --> 00:30:04,513 [laughter] 822 00:30:04,594 --> 00:30:06,354 - Talking about being more assertive, 823 00:30:06,430 --> 00:30:08,180 did you share with your husband 824 00:30:08,307 --> 00:30:11,017 what we spoke about at the girls’ thing? 825 00:30:11,101 --> 00:30:12,351 - A little bit, I did. 826 00:30:12,436 --> 00:30:13,686 I definitely want Shaquille to, you know, 827 00:30:13,770 --> 00:30:15,900 get me aroused and in the mood. 828 00:30:16,023 --> 00:30:17,903 - You’re not gonna turn him down? 829 00:30:18,025 --> 00:30:19,325 - If he does-- 830 00:30:19,401 --> 00:30:20,491 - She’s not gonna turn him down. 831 00:30:20,569 --> 00:30:23,069 She’s not gonna turn him down. 832 00:30:23,196 --> 00:30:26,196 All she needs you to do is light a candle, 833 00:30:26,283 --> 00:30:29,623 play the music, and give her a little foreplay, 834 00:30:29,703 --> 00:30:31,163 and she gonna be ready to give the goods up. 835 00:30:31,246 --> 00:30:33,206 - Whoa. 836 00:30:33,290 --> 00:30:36,670 - Shaq, you know, I asked you what base you guys were on, 837 00:30:36,752 --> 00:30:38,212 and you let us know. 838 00:30:38,295 --> 00:30:39,755 I’m asking you the same thing. - What base did you say? 839 00:30:39,880 --> 00:30:40,920 - No, no, no. 840 00:30:41,048 --> 00:30:42,378 - You tell us. 841 00:30:42,466 --> 00:30:46,386 - You know, somewhere between second, 842 00:30:46,470 --> 00:30:48,560 trying to steal third to get a home run. 843 00:30:48,680 --> 00:30:50,010 - OK. 844 00:30:50,098 --> 00:30:52,308 ♪ ♪ 845 00:30:52,392 --> 00:30:55,402 - Be aggressive, assertive. 846 00:30:55,479 --> 00:30:58,189 - Take the initiative. 847 00:30:58,273 --> 00:31:00,193 - Have I taken the initiative? 848 00:31:00,275 --> 00:31:03,395 ♪ ♪ 849 00:31:03,528 --> 00:31:04,698 - Be assertive. 850 00:31:04,780 --> 00:31:06,200 - Be assertive? - I’m telling you. 851 00:31:06,281 --> 00:31:08,581 - Kirsten and I have consummated our marriage. 852 00:31:08,700 --> 00:31:12,250 [all cheering] 853 00:31:14,998 --> 00:31:16,708 - Oh, wow. - Thank you for the honesty. 854 00:31:16,792 --> 00:31:19,042 Thank you. 855 00:31:19,127 --> 00:31:21,377 - Oh, they went to pound town. 856 00:31:21,463 --> 00:31:23,213 - That’s not what I was gonna say. 857 00:31:23,298 --> 00:31:25,718 - Shaq and Kirsten went to--went to town. 858 00:31:25,801 --> 00:31:27,091 - I wasn’t gonna say "pound town." 859 00:31:27,177 --> 00:31:28,217 - Why? 860 00:31:28,303 --> 00:31:29,263 What’s wrong with pound town? 861 00:31:29,388 --> 00:31:30,428 - No, it just shocked me. 862 00:31:30,514 --> 00:31:31,854 - But that’s country, though. 863 00:31:31,932 --> 00:31:33,432 - Is it? - Yeah. 864 00:31:33,517 --> 00:31:36,137 - ♪ Bring it on down to pound town ♪ 865 00:31:36,269 --> 00:31:38,519 - I’m gonna rub that head. 866 00:31:38,605 --> 00:31:40,395 - I got a bone to pick with you after this. 867 00:31:40,482 --> 00:31:41,902 - What? 868 00:31:41,983 --> 00:31:44,903 - You done looked at me in my eyes. 869 00:31:44,986 --> 00:31:47,026 - We wanted to keep it between us, 870 00:31:47,114 --> 00:31:48,954 [bleep], long as we could. 871 00:31:49,032 --> 00:31:50,952 - Not "long as we could." 872 00:31:51,034 --> 00:31:52,454 So it’s been a while. 873 00:31:52,536 --> 00:31:54,446 [laughter] 874 00:31:54,538 --> 00:31:56,788 - Well, listen, we all talked about our emotions 875 00:31:56,915 --> 00:31:58,955 all goddang night long. 876 00:31:59,042 --> 00:32:00,712 Now, we’re gonna get our dancing boots on. 877 00:32:00,794 --> 00:32:02,214 We’re gonna mosey on the dance floor 878 00:32:02,295 --> 00:32:03,585 and get our kicking on, huh? 879 00:32:03,672 --> 00:32:05,762 What y’all say? - Yee-haw! 880 00:32:05,841 --> 00:32:07,431 [laughter] 881 00:32:07,509 --> 00:32:09,889 ♪ ♪ 882 00:32:09,970 --> 00:32:11,470 - Hi, everyone. My name is Priya. 883 00:32:11,555 --> 00:32:12,645 Are we ready to get started? - Yee-haw. 884 00:32:12,722 --> 00:32:14,432 - Let’s do it. - Let’s do it, OK. 885 00:32:14,516 --> 00:32:15,926 We’re in Nashville. 886 00:32:16,017 --> 00:32:17,477 So we have to break out our lasso, obviously. 887 00:32:17,561 --> 00:32:18,771 - Oh. 888 00:32:18,854 --> 00:32:23,824 - 5, 6, 7, 8, we lasso to the front. 889 00:32:23,900 --> 00:32:25,990 We boogie to the back. 890 00:32:26,069 --> 00:32:28,779 - ♪ When she struts her stuff ♪ 891 00:32:28,864 --> 00:32:30,824 ♪ A boy can’t get enough ♪ 892 00:32:30,907 --> 00:32:32,947 ♪ Because she’s high class ♪ 893 00:32:33,034 --> 00:32:35,914 ♪ And try to get a smile from her, no chance ♪ 894 00:32:35,996 --> 00:32:37,576 ♪ You’re gonna get her phone number ♪ 895 00:32:37,664 --> 00:32:42,134 ♪ She knows what she’s got and how it moves ♪ 896 00:32:42,210 --> 00:32:43,800 - We’re boot scooting. 897 00:32:43,879 --> 00:32:45,339 We got our boots down. 898 00:32:45,422 --> 00:32:46,632 We’re boogieing. 899 00:32:46,715 --> 00:32:48,385 - Spot on, baby. - Spot on. 900 00:32:48,508 --> 00:32:51,008 Spot on is what she said. 901 00:32:51,094 --> 00:32:54,474 - ♪ Let’s get wild tonight ♪ 902 00:32:54,556 --> 00:32:57,176 ♪ And act like strangers ♪ 903 00:32:57,309 --> 00:32:59,189 all: Go, Clint. Go, Clint. 904 00:32:59,269 --> 00:33:01,559 Go, Clint. Go, Clint. 905 00:33:01,688 --> 00:33:04,818 - I always admire Clint’s dancing. 906 00:33:04,900 --> 00:33:08,990 He always, you know, gets into it, give it all that he gots. 907 00:33:09,070 --> 00:33:10,490 Like, I’m like, get on down. 908 00:33:10,572 --> 00:33:13,032 Get on down, Clint. Do your thing. 909 00:33:13,116 --> 00:33:16,366 - ♪ Let’s get wild tonight ♪ 910 00:33:16,453 --> 00:33:18,373 [all cheering] 911 00:33:18,455 --> 00:33:21,625 - Oh, dang! 912 00:33:21,708 --> 00:33:26,588 - ♪ It’s an old times, good time last goodbye ♪ 913 00:33:26,713 --> 00:33:33,183 ♪ Let’s get wild tonight and act like strangers ♪ 914 00:33:33,261 --> 00:33:36,011 ♪ I ain’t trying to change it ♪ 915 00:33:36,097 --> 00:33:39,677 ♪ I’m just remembering what summer love is like ♪ 916 00:33:39,768 --> 00:33:43,398 ♪ ♪ 917 00:33:43,480 --> 00:33:45,360 - I’m over it. 918 00:33:45,440 --> 00:33:47,860 I’m done. 919 00:33:47,943 --> 00:33:49,493 What the [bleep]? 920 00:33:49,569 --> 00:33:51,069 Literally, I’m trying to dance with you. 921 00:33:51,154 --> 00:33:53,244 I’m your wife, but you don’t want to dance with your wife. 922 00:33:53,365 --> 00:33:56,205 Instead, you want to go dance with the instructor. 923 00:33:56,284 --> 00:33:58,244 Do you even care about this marriage? 924 00:33:58,328 --> 00:34:00,578 I’m [bleep] done. 925 00:34:00,705 --> 00:34:03,035 I’m sick of this [bleep]. 926 00:34:03,124 --> 00:34:04,584 I’m just over it in general. 927 00:34:04,668 --> 00:34:05,958 I’m over everything. 928 00:34:06,086 --> 00:34:08,296 I’m tired of, you know, giving my all 929 00:34:08,421 --> 00:34:09,591 and putting forth effort for him 930 00:34:09,673 --> 00:34:11,383 to continue to do things that-- 931 00:34:11,466 --> 00:34:13,966 that are basically just a slap in the face. 932 00:34:14,094 --> 00:34:17,394 [dramatic music] 933 00:34:17,472 --> 00:34:18,392 - So what do you want to do? 934 00:34:18,473 --> 00:34:21,103 - I don’t [bleep] know. 935 00:34:21,184 --> 00:34:23,394 In that moment, I needed him to think about me. 936 00:34:23,478 --> 00:34:24,598 ♪ ♪ 937 00:34:24,688 --> 00:34:25,768 And he didn’t. 938 00:34:25,855 --> 00:34:27,105 What the hell is that? 939 00:34:27,190 --> 00:34:28,110 - I’m sorry. 940 00:34:28,191 --> 00:34:29,401 I apologize. 941 00:34:29,484 --> 00:34:31,614 The way I took the situation, 942 00:34:31,695 --> 00:34:33,245 the girl was, like, showing me a dance 943 00:34:33,321 --> 00:34:34,781 because I was literally, like, the worst dancer. 944 00:34:34,864 --> 00:34:36,244 Like, I sucked. 945 00:34:36,324 --> 00:34:38,084 So I felt like maybe she was showing me a move. 946 00:34:38,159 --> 00:34:40,239 That’s not even, like, my type that I go for, 947 00:34:40,328 --> 00:34:41,788 but I’m acknowledging your feeling. 948 00:34:41,913 --> 00:34:43,963 With the--with the state of our relationship, 949 00:34:44,040 --> 00:34:46,380 I totally understand why 950 00:34:46,459 --> 00:34:49,589 it looked as bad to you as it did. 951 00:34:49,671 --> 00:34:51,461 And I’m not--I’m not diminishing your feelings 952 00:34:51,548 --> 00:34:52,918 or telling you you shouldn’t feel a certain type of way. 953 00:34:53,008 --> 00:34:57,428 But it wasn’t like I was like, oh, screw this. 954 00:34:57,512 --> 00:34:58,932 I’m just gonna dance with this girl. 955 00:34:59,014 --> 00:35:01,024 Like, I was literally minding my own business. 956 00:35:01,141 --> 00:35:02,851 - But you literally didn’t have to dance with her. 957 00:35:02,976 --> 00:35:03,976 - You’re right. 958 00:35:04,060 --> 00:35:05,270 You’re correct. 959 00:35:05,353 --> 00:35:09,403 ♪ ♪ 960 00:35:09,482 --> 00:35:10,942 - So I think we-- did we lose them? 961 00:35:11,026 --> 00:35:12,276 We lost a couple-- we lost the group. 962 00:35:12,360 --> 00:35:14,150 - We lost a couple, Airris and Jazz. 963 00:35:14,237 --> 00:35:17,117 - ♪ Turn up our love ♪ 964 00:35:17,198 --> 00:35:19,778 ♪ Give me the dream I adore ♪ 965 00:35:19,868 --> 00:35:22,658 ♪ Never enough ♪ 966 00:35:22,746 --> 00:35:25,496 ♪ I need the pleasure so pure ♪ 967 00:35:25,582 --> 00:35:28,332 ♪ I don’t want compromise ♪ 968 00:35:28,418 --> 00:35:31,128 ♪ All that I need is your all ♪ 969 00:35:31,212 --> 00:35:37,012 ♪ ♪ 970 00:35:37,093 --> 00:35:39,513 ♪ I got a hole inside my heart ♪ 971 00:35:39,596 --> 00:35:42,306 ♪ It’s got me begging for more ♪ 972 00:35:42,390 --> 00:35:43,810 ♪ Turn it off ♪ 973 00:35:43,892 --> 00:35:45,142 ♪ ♪ 974 00:35:45,226 --> 00:35:47,806 ♪ Turn it off ♪ 975 00:35:47,896 --> 00:35:49,936 ♪ Just turn it off ♪ 976 00:35:50,023 --> 00:35:51,023 ♪ Turn it off ♪ 977 00:35:51,107 --> 00:35:53,567 [indistinct singing] 978 00:35:53,693 --> 00:35:56,323 ♪ Till the power breaks down ♪ 979 00:35:56,404 --> 00:35:59,534 ♪ Till the window cracks ♪ 980 00:35:59,616 --> 00:36:01,196 ♪ Just turn it off ♪ 981 00:36:08,792 --> 00:36:11,502 - So are you looking forward to this visit with Dr. Pepper? 982 00:36:11,586 --> 00:36:12,546 - I think it’ll be-- 983 00:36:12,629 --> 00:36:13,709 I think it’ll be good. 984 00:36:15,340 --> 00:36:17,680 - With Decision Day fast approaching... 985 00:36:17,759 --> 00:36:19,389 - This is so needed. 986 00:36:19,469 --> 00:36:21,849 - We, the experts, are meeting with the couples 987 00:36:21,930 --> 00:36:24,520 to help them confront the truth within themselves 988 00:36:24,599 --> 00:36:27,189 and with their partner and examine 989 00:36:27,268 --> 00:36:29,228 any lingering questions they have. 990 00:36:29,312 --> 00:36:30,522 - Thank you for coming to see us. 991 00:36:30,605 --> 00:36:31,895 - Of course. - We appreciate that. 992 00:36:31,981 --> 00:36:33,191 - Are you kidding me? Yeah, I’m here to help. 993 00:36:33,274 --> 00:36:34,784 - Yeah. 994 00:36:34,901 --> 00:36:37,201 - So they have the opportunity to work through them 995 00:36:37,278 --> 00:36:39,318 before Decision Day. 996 00:36:39,406 --> 00:36:41,236 [knocking on door] 997 00:36:41,324 --> 00:36:42,704 - Hi, guys. - Hi! 998 00:36:42,784 --> 00:36:44,414 Oh. - Oh, hi there, sweetie. 999 00:36:44,494 --> 00:36:45,584 - Sorry, Dutchie. - It’s OK. 1000 00:36:45,662 --> 00:36:46,752 I’m a dog person, so you know. 1001 00:36:46,830 --> 00:36:48,250 - OK, OK, and she loves people. 1002 00:36:48,331 --> 00:36:49,581 - Oh, hello, sweetie. 1003 00:36:49,708 --> 00:36:50,918 - She greets everybody. 1004 00:36:51,042 --> 00:36:52,422 - Hi. Good to see you. 1005 00:36:52,502 --> 00:36:53,752 - Good to see you too. - Good to see you. 1006 00:36:53,837 --> 00:36:54,917 - Hello again. 1007 00:36:55,004 --> 00:36:58,384 - All right. 1008 00:36:58,466 --> 00:37:01,216 So I gather a lot has been going on since last we talked. 1009 00:37:01,302 --> 00:37:02,222 - Yeah. 1010 00:37:02,303 --> 00:37:04,223 - Yeah. 1011 00:37:04,305 --> 00:37:07,095 - Tell me a little bit about the emotional climate here 1012 00:37:07,183 --> 00:37:10,063 and what you’ve been through in the last 24 hours 1013 00:37:10,145 --> 00:37:12,275 and then we can move on from there. 1014 00:37:12,355 --> 00:37:13,805 - OK. 1015 00:37:13,940 --> 00:37:16,230 Well, this week for me was just-- 1016 00:37:16,317 --> 00:37:19,027 just a super emotional week. 1017 00:37:19,112 --> 00:37:22,412 I’m learning a lot about myself and my emotions 1018 00:37:22,490 --> 00:37:24,330 and how I cope with conflict. 1019 00:37:24,451 --> 00:37:28,581 And then on top of that, last night, the line dancing, 1020 00:37:28,663 --> 00:37:31,793 like, instructor, like, came up to him and grabbed him 1021 00:37:31,916 --> 00:37:33,326 and, like, went off and started dancing. 1022 00:37:33,460 --> 00:37:34,920 And it just triggered me. 1023 00:37:35,003 --> 00:37:38,553 And I was like, I’m no longer not showing my feelings 1024 00:37:38,631 --> 00:37:40,551 or, you know, speaking up. 1025 00:37:40,633 --> 00:37:41,763 So it was just kind of like, 1026 00:37:41,843 --> 00:37:45,433 I’m not cool with this, so I’m out. 1027 00:37:45,513 --> 00:37:47,773 - I was aware, and I was conscious of, like, 1028 00:37:47,849 --> 00:37:49,979 where we at--where we are in our relationship. 1029 00:37:50,059 --> 00:37:53,559 So I understood her feeling how she felt. 1030 00:37:53,646 --> 00:37:55,146 And I still feel bad about it, but I’ve had, 1031 00:37:55,231 --> 00:37:57,481 like, a little time to reflect. 1032 00:37:57,567 --> 00:38:02,067 And I felt like the storm out made it-- 1033 00:38:02,155 --> 00:38:04,245 it made it, like, a scene, you know? 1034 00:38:04,324 --> 00:38:05,954 I don’t--I don’t-- 1035 00:38:06,034 --> 00:38:07,664 I don’t think it was-- like, it was warranted. 1036 00:38:07,744 --> 00:38:09,664 [tense music] 1037 00:38:09,746 --> 00:38:14,496 - So what I want to know is where you guys are headed 1038 00:38:14,584 --> 00:38:17,174 and if you’re done in some way. 1039 00:38:17,253 --> 00:38:19,303 If you no longer have a hope or want to do, see, 1040 00:38:19,380 --> 00:38:21,840 or hear anything, let me know. 1041 00:38:21,925 --> 00:38:23,305 I mean, we’re not here to tread water. 1042 00:38:23,384 --> 00:38:28,184 ♪ ♪ 1043 00:38:28,306 --> 00:38:30,306 Do you see a possibility for this marriage? 1044 00:38:30,391 --> 00:38:34,981 ♪ ♪ 1045 00:38:38,650 --> 00:38:39,730 [tense music] 1046 00:38:39,859 --> 00:38:41,899 - Do you see a possibility for this marriage? 1047 00:38:42,028 --> 00:38:48,078 ♪ ♪ 1048 00:38:48,201 --> 00:38:49,371 - I see a possibility. 1049 00:38:49,452 --> 00:38:51,582 Like, I see-- like, I understand 1050 00:38:51,704 --> 00:38:52,874 why we were matched. 1051 00:38:52,997 --> 00:38:56,537 We have moments, like, when we’re "dating." 1052 00:38:56,626 --> 00:38:58,586 Those are some of our best moments. 1053 00:38:58,711 --> 00:39:02,261 And I want those moments to last longer. 1054 00:39:02,382 --> 00:39:04,632 ♪ ♪ 1055 00:39:04,717 --> 00:39:08,927 - In the past, I’ve said how I feel lost in this marriage, 1056 00:39:09,055 --> 00:39:11,635 I feel like, because I don’t know where he’s at. 1057 00:39:11,724 --> 00:39:13,774 And I mean, he’s kind of reassured me 1058 00:39:13,893 --> 00:39:17,063 tonight that he’s still in it. 1059 00:39:17,188 --> 00:39:20,148 - Let me ask you what you need individually 1060 00:39:20,233 --> 00:39:26,453 in this relationship to further its possibilities 1061 00:39:26,573 --> 00:39:30,123 in these next weeks. 1062 00:39:30,243 --> 00:39:31,993 - You know, we met with DeVon earlier, 1063 00:39:32,078 --> 00:39:35,458 and he put, like, a different perspective that, you know, 1064 00:39:35,582 --> 00:39:37,962 I can, like, create a more, like, nurturing, 1065 00:39:38,084 --> 00:39:41,804 safer environment for you to feel comfortable 1066 00:39:41,921 --> 00:39:45,671 expressing yourself and being vulnerable. 1067 00:39:45,758 --> 00:39:47,428 - I like it. 1068 00:39:47,552 --> 00:39:50,432 What’s your hope? 1069 00:39:50,513 --> 00:39:53,933 - I’m hoping to feel in the next few weeks 1070 00:39:54,017 --> 00:39:57,477 more like a wife and not a friend. 1071 00:39:57,604 --> 00:40:00,614 - Can you think of any specific small thing that would 1072 00:40:00,690 --> 00:40:03,280 make you feel more wifely? 1073 00:40:03,401 --> 00:40:06,701 - I mean, if I don’t text him throughout the day, 1074 00:40:06,779 --> 00:40:09,119 I don’t hear from him. 1075 00:40:09,198 --> 00:40:11,908 So it’s like, do you not think about me, 1076 00:40:11,993 --> 00:40:14,663 or do you not want to talk to me? 1077 00:40:14,787 --> 00:40:18,327 - So that’s developing habits of connection. 1078 00:40:18,458 --> 00:40:20,168 - Mm-hmm. 1079 00:40:20,293 --> 00:40:25,383 - Let’s say you set your phone 1080 00:40:25,465 --> 00:40:28,305 to whatever time you have 1081 00:40:28,426 --> 00:40:31,966 and, you know, say, OK, it’s 2 o’clock, 1082 00:40:32,096 --> 00:40:38,056 I’m gonna text Jasmine and ask how her day is every day 1083 00:40:38,144 --> 00:40:40,904 or most days, you know? 1084 00:40:40,980 --> 00:40:43,190 How do you do when the person comes in the door? 1085 00:40:43,316 --> 00:40:45,776 What do you do when the person comes in the door? 1086 00:40:45,860 --> 00:40:47,740 - Say what’s up. 1087 00:40:47,820 --> 00:40:49,490 - So that’s romantic. 1088 00:40:49,572 --> 00:40:52,202 - Right. 1089 00:40:52,325 --> 00:40:55,205 - How about making it real? 1090 00:40:55,328 --> 00:40:57,368 When the person comes in, you come up 1091 00:40:57,497 --> 00:40:59,667 and either give a peck on the cheek or-- 1092 00:40:59,791 --> 00:41:01,541 - A hug. 1093 00:41:01,668 --> 00:41:03,288 - A hug leaving out in the morning, yeah. 1094 00:41:03,378 --> 00:41:05,048 - A hug when you leave and a hug when you get back. 1095 00:41:05,171 --> 00:41:06,461 - Yes. - Yes. 1096 00:41:06,547 --> 00:41:10,087 - Small efforts go great distances. 1097 00:41:10,176 --> 00:41:14,216 You are going to need to make an informed decision 1098 00:41:14,347 --> 00:41:16,847 between now and Decision Day. 1099 00:41:16,933 --> 00:41:21,103 You need all the information, connection, 1100 00:41:21,187 --> 00:41:23,437 and acts, real acts, 1101 00:41:23,523 --> 00:41:28,573 that you can put into this marriage now. 1102 00:41:28,695 --> 00:41:31,075 OK, so can I get, like, a promise here 1103 00:41:31,197 --> 00:41:33,237 that these things that I’ve asked for, 1104 00:41:33,366 --> 00:41:34,576 that you’re really gonna do these things? 1105 00:41:34,701 --> 00:41:37,331 - Yes. - Yes. 1106 00:41:37,412 --> 00:41:40,372 - Can I--can I get a, like, yes on this, you know? 1107 00:41:40,498 --> 00:41:41,418 - Yes! 1108 00:41:41,541 --> 00:41:43,881 [laughter] 1109 00:41:44,002 --> 00:41:46,052 - ♪ It’s gonna be great, it’s gonna get better ♪ 1110 00:41:46,170 --> 00:41:48,840 ♪ You’re gonna be all right ♪ 1111 00:41:48,923 --> 00:41:51,803 [upbeat music] 1112 00:41:51,884 --> 00:41:53,264 ♪ ♪ 1113 00:41:53,386 --> 00:41:54,386 - Hi, ladies. - Hi, how are you? 1114 00:41:54,470 --> 00:41:55,300 - Good. How are you? 1115 00:41:55,388 --> 00:41:56,638 - Good. - Good. 1116 00:41:56,723 --> 00:41:58,433 What can I do to help y’all today? 1117 00:41:58,558 --> 00:42:00,598 - Lingerie is not my favorite thing to put on, 1118 00:42:00,727 --> 00:42:03,267 but I am trying to step out of my comfort zone 1119 00:42:03,396 --> 00:42:06,186 and feel a little better about myself, 1120 00:42:06,274 --> 00:42:08,614 and show that side of myself to my husband, 1121 00:42:08,735 --> 00:42:09,825 so... - Awesome. 1122 00:42:09,902 --> 00:42:11,782 Well, we have some great and unique pieces. 1123 00:42:11,904 --> 00:42:13,244 I’m sure that we can find you something 1124 00:42:13,364 --> 00:42:14,164 that’ll make you feel wonderful. 1125 00:42:14,240 --> 00:42:15,320 - Thank you. 1126 00:42:15,408 --> 00:42:18,288 - You are so welcome. 1127 00:42:18,411 --> 00:42:21,121 - Are you looking for any particular color today? 1128 00:42:21,247 --> 00:42:22,407 - Well, red is his favorite. 1129 00:42:22,498 --> 00:42:24,288 - Oh. 1130 00:42:24,417 --> 00:42:27,877 - Maybe, like, a red robe over something white or black. 1131 00:42:27,962 --> 00:42:31,012 She’s pretty. 1132 00:42:31,090 --> 00:42:35,300 I don’t love lingerie shopping because I don’t have 1133 00:42:35,428 --> 00:42:36,968 the perfect supermodel body. 1134 00:42:37,096 --> 00:42:39,306 - I did say, like, little-- little thicker 1135 00:42:39,432 --> 00:42:41,602 than I normally go for, but not in a bad way. 1136 00:42:41,726 --> 00:42:43,936 - I do call myself a thicker girl, but... 1137 00:42:44,062 --> 00:42:45,482 - It’s different. I know. 1138 00:42:45,605 --> 00:42:47,365 - It’s very--girls can say whatever they want. 1139 00:42:47,440 --> 00:42:49,360 It’s very different to hear someone else say it. 1140 00:42:49,442 --> 00:42:50,822 Now I have to hide my rolls 1141 00:42:50,943 --> 00:42:53,493 as we have this conversation about it. 1142 00:42:53,613 --> 00:42:54,783 - You’re beautiful. 1143 00:42:54,864 --> 00:42:55,994 You’re beautiful inside and out. 1144 00:42:56,115 --> 00:42:57,825 - I’m trying to tell myself, like, 1145 00:42:57,950 --> 00:42:59,830 you might never see perfect, 1146 00:42:59,952 --> 00:43:02,162 but it’s OK to not see perfect. 1147 00:43:02,288 --> 00:43:05,668 So I’m changing the narrative because if I keep looking 1148 00:43:05,792 --> 00:43:07,042 in the mirror expecting everything 1149 00:43:07,126 --> 00:43:09,836 to be how I want it in my head, I’ll never be happy. 1150 00:43:09,962 --> 00:43:12,052 - Right. - So now I’m trying to-- 1151 00:43:12,131 --> 00:43:13,671 - Speak positive of yourself. - Exactly. 1152 00:43:13,800 --> 00:43:15,970 - Yeah, speak some light and life in to yourself. 1153 00:43:16,052 --> 00:43:17,472 - Right. 1154 00:43:17,553 --> 00:43:19,563 Sometimes I doubt, like, am I--you know, 1155 00:43:19,639 --> 00:43:21,639 do I deserve a man as wonderful as Chris? 1156 00:43:21,766 --> 00:43:23,056 - You deserve Chris. - Thank you. 1157 00:43:23,142 --> 00:43:24,772 - You are an amazing woman. 1158 00:43:24,852 --> 00:43:27,562 - And I know that, but there’s always a part of me 1159 00:43:27,647 --> 00:43:29,567 that’s like, are we sure? 1160 00:43:29,649 --> 00:43:30,819 - Get out of your head. - Yeah, like, it’s-- 1161 00:43:30,900 --> 00:43:31,820 - Get of your head. - This is ridiculous. 1162 00:43:31,943 --> 00:43:33,033 - That’s right. 1163 00:43:33,152 --> 00:43:34,072 We’re gonna get it together today. 1164 00:43:34,153 --> 00:43:35,653 - Yeah, yeah. 1165 00:43:35,738 --> 00:43:37,568 - And I have to get you some moves too. 1166 00:43:37,657 --> 00:43:39,407 When you--when you get it on, we can practice that, like, 1167 00:43:39,492 --> 00:43:41,042 a little sexy walk. 1168 00:43:41,160 --> 00:43:43,160 - Yeah, yeah, a sexy walk is not my thing. 1169 00:43:43,246 --> 00:43:45,206 I’m more of, like, crawl like a gremlin, 1170 00:43:45,331 --> 00:43:46,501 and be silly, and make him laugh. 1171 00:43:46,582 --> 00:43:49,592 But I don’t think that’s the time or place. 1172 00:43:49,669 --> 00:43:52,419 He sees me dress like an eight-year-old skateboarder 1173 00:43:52,505 --> 00:43:53,805 half the time. 1174 00:43:53,881 --> 00:43:55,011 So anything really is an upgrade. 1175 00:43:55,091 --> 00:43:56,551 - OK, well, let’s upgrade. 1176 00:43:56,676 --> 00:43:59,886 - So I think he will be like, oh, my God. 1177 00:44:00,012 --> 00:44:01,102 Should we start the party? 1178 00:44:01,180 --> 00:44:02,140 - Let’s start the party. 1179 00:44:02,223 --> 00:44:03,183 - Come on in. 1180 00:44:03,307 --> 00:44:04,267 - We need some champagne. 1181 00:44:04,350 --> 00:44:05,310 - All right, thank you. 1182 00:44:05,393 --> 00:44:08,443 - You’re welcome. 1183 00:44:08,521 --> 00:44:11,401 - Kirsten, you are welcome to join the party. 1184 00:44:11,524 --> 00:44:13,034 - OK. 1185 00:44:13,109 --> 00:44:16,069 - Oh, I love your mirror. 1186 00:44:16,195 --> 00:44:18,025 It says, "You are beautiful." 1187 00:44:18,114 --> 00:44:20,374 - Like, you look amazing. 1188 00:44:20,491 --> 00:44:22,621 Don’t start talking yourself out of it. 1189 00:44:29,709 --> 00:44:32,589 - It’s definitely not something I would normally wear 1190 00:44:32,712 --> 00:44:34,632 because I prefer to wear things 1191 00:44:34,714 --> 00:44:37,224 that enhance my breasts. 1192 00:44:37,341 --> 00:44:39,431 - This is a great way to start off saying 1193 00:44:39,552 --> 00:44:41,142 I appreciate my body. - Yes. 1194 00:44:41,220 --> 00:44:43,100 - You know, as you’re walking in-- 1195 00:44:43,222 --> 00:44:45,312 let’s see. Let me just-- 1196 00:44:45,391 --> 00:44:47,021 - What’s a good entrance point? 1197 00:44:47,101 --> 00:44:48,941 I like a prop. 1198 00:44:49,061 --> 00:44:50,651 - Kind of, you know, gotta have a little honey, 1199 00:44:50,730 --> 00:44:53,900 spray a little perfume on, do a little sexy walk, 1200 00:44:54,025 --> 00:44:56,035 and then you’re gonna start untying things 1201 00:44:56,110 --> 00:44:58,320 so he can see it. 1202 00:44:58,404 --> 00:45:03,284 And then, the next thing you know, ah, there goes the robe. 1203 00:45:03,409 --> 00:45:06,159 - I don’t know that I’ll ever 100% 1204 00:45:06,245 --> 00:45:09,155 love everything about myself, but as long 1205 00:45:09,248 --> 00:45:11,328 as I’m working on it, I think that’s a huge step. 1206 00:45:11,417 --> 00:45:14,997 And I hope Chris loves me not in spite of that, 1207 00:45:15,087 --> 00:45:16,297 but because of that. 1208 00:45:16,422 --> 00:45:17,422 Usually I’m just like, OK, I’m here. 1209 00:45:17,506 --> 00:45:18,466 - Mm-mm. 1210 00:45:18,591 --> 00:45:19,631 - The clothes are off. 1211 00:45:19,759 --> 00:45:21,139 Like, do what you gotta do. 1212 00:45:21,260 --> 00:45:23,260 - Mm-mm, you gotta set the mood, set the tone. 1213 00:45:23,346 --> 00:45:24,256 - OK. 1214 00:45:24,388 --> 00:45:25,468 - Mm-hmm, sexy. 1215 00:45:25,598 --> 00:45:26,808 ♪ ♪ 1216 00:45:30,478 --> 00:45:33,148 - ♪ I’m so tempted to tell you ♪ 1217 00:45:33,272 --> 00:45:36,232 ♪ That you might be the one, girl ♪ 1218 00:45:36,317 --> 00:45:39,357 ♪ ♪ 1219 00:45:39,445 --> 00:45:41,065 - Oh, Hank, you--you are going to win my heart. 1220 00:45:41,155 --> 00:45:42,445 - Hank. 1221 00:45:42,531 --> 00:45:46,331 - So let’s talk about you guys. 1222 00:45:46,452 --> 00:45:50,412 We’re really kind of rushing towards Decision Day, 1223 00:45:50,498 --> 00:45:55,918 and I think you guys need to up your game a little bit. 1224 00:45:56,003 --> 00:45:57,963 - We’ve been, like, trying to focus on that 1225 00:45:58,047 --> 00:46:02,007 because for us, we still feel kind of friendzoned. 1226 00:46:02,134 --> 00:46:04,094 - You guys have talked a lot of being friendzoned, 1227 00:46:04,178 --> 00:46:07,428 but the deepest friendship is a kind of love. 1228 00:46:07,515 --> 00:46:09,395 - Yeah. 1229 00:46:09,475 --> 00:46:11,095 - Do you each have friends that you would say you love? 1230 00:46:11,185 --> 00:46:11,975 - Yeah. - Oh, yeah. 1231 00:46:12,103 --> 00:46:13,653 - Absolutely. 1232 00:46:13,729 --> 00:46:16,149 - OK, so you know what that feels like. 1233 00:46:16,274 --> 00:46:20,324 So this is a road that you can also go through here. 1234 00:46:20,403 --> 00:46:22,113 One of the things you might think about 1235 00:46:22,196 --> 00:46:24,616 is maybe asking each other what you’d 1236 00:46:24,699 --> 00:46:28,619 really like from one another. 1237 00:46:28,703 --> 00:46:31,463 You know, what would make you feel cared for 1238 00:46:31,539 --> 00:46:35,999 and would bring you to those deeper feelings. 1239 00:46:36,085 --> 00:46:39,135 - That’s challenging because I don’t even know what I need. 1240 00:46:39,213 --> 00:46:42,133 But I’ve been learning through this experience 1241 00:46:42,216 --> 00:46:45,176 that I am independent, sometimes to a fault. 1242 00:46:45,261 --> 00:46:47,051 So it’s, like, hard to try to figure out, 1243 00:46:47,179 --> 00:46:50,849 like, what you actually need from someone in that way. 1244 00:46:50,933 --> 00:46:52,433 - Can you think even of one thing 1245 00:46:52,518 --> 00:46:57,478 right now that would make you feel touched and known 1246 00:46:57,565 --> 00:47:01,155 if he would do that for you? 1247 00:47:01,235 --> 00:47:03,985 - I think just, like, the support of, like, 1248 00:47:04,071 --> 00:47:06,701 knowing I’m doing a good job, things like that. 1249 00:47:06,782 --> 00:47:08,662 Like, I’m always one-- 1250 00:47:08,743 --> 00:47:10,543 I think the most emotional I get 1251 00:47:10,619 --> 00:47:12,199 is when, like, people that are really close to me are like, 1252 00:47:12,288 --> 00:47:14,158 I’m so proud of you. 1253 00:47:14,248 --> 00:47:18,168 - So affirmation in very specific ways. 1254 00:47:18,252 --> 00:47:19,882 - Yeah. 1255 00:47:20,004 --> 00:47:23,384 - So complimenting her more, being more cognizant of, 1256 00:47:23,466 --> 00:47:27,006 like, the special attributes that she has, yeah. 1257 00:47:27,094 --> 00:47:28,394 - Yeah. 1258 00:47:28,471 --> 00:47:29,851 - So can you think of some things 1259 00:47:29,930 --> 00:47:31,890 that you would want from her? 1260 00:47:31,974 --> 00:47:33,564 What would touch you? 1261 00:47:33,684 --> 00:47:35,694 - I think it’s just something that was not 1262 00:47:35,770 --> 00:47:36,980 expected, something special. 1263 00:47:37,063 --> 00:47:38,563 - OK. 1264 00:47:38,689 --> 00:47:42,069 - It could be really anything, as long as, 1265 00:47:42,193 --> 00:47:46,203 like, there was time spent on whatever it was, right? 1266 00:47:46,280 --> 00:47:49,700 Maybe it’s setting up the house a certain way 1267 00:47:49,784 --> 00:47:51,544 and making it look, you know, nice, 1268 00:47:51,619 --> 00:47:53,539 like, anything like that. 1269 00:47:53,621 --> 00:47:59,381 - OK, so how about her cooking dinner for you? 1270 00:47:59,460 --> 00:48:01,500 - The meals are Clint’s thing. 1271 00:48:01,587 --> 00:48:05,257 - Well, but, you know, you-- even if he’s the main guy, 1272 00:48:05,341 --> 00:48:07,431 you could take care of him... - Yeah. 1273 00:48:07,510 --> 00:48:09,970 - And plan something, and do something, 1274 00:48:10,096 --> 00:48:12,426 and quality time for the two of you 1275 00:48:12,515 --> 00:48:15,395 to do together that she thinks about and presents to you... 1276 00:48:15,476 --> 00:48:16,766 - Yeah. 1277 00:48:16,852 --> 00:48:18,232 - That shows that she knows you. 1278 00:48:18,312 --> 00:48:20,522 - Yeah. 1279 00:48:20,606 --> 00:48:22,566 - I want to try and move you closer together 1280 00:48:22,650 --> 00:48:25,490 in some of the things that involve your heart 1281 00:48:25,611 --> 00:48:28,111 and your physical selves. 1282 00:48:28,197 --> 00:48:31,117 There’s movies that I think are emotionally moving, 1283 00:48:31,200 --> 00:48:33,870 and they’re romantic movies in their own way but different. 1284 00:48:33,953 --> 00:48:35,123 One is-- 1285 00:48:35,204 --> 00:48:36,624 - "Top Gun." 1286 00:48:36,747 --> 00:48:41,247 - I loved "Top Gun," but no, no. 1287 00:48:41,335 --> 00:48:43,585 Did you ever see "Driving Miss Daisy"? 1288 00:48:43,671 --> 00:48:45,341 - Yeah. 1289 00:48:45,464 --> 00:48:48,094 - It’s not a romance, but it is--it is a beautiful 1290 00:48:48,175 --> 00:48:50,925 story of love and devotion. 1291 00:48:51,011 --> 00:48:53,761 Or "The Art of Racing in the Rain." 1292 00:48:53,848 --> 00:48:56,808 This is kind of a love story between a man and his dog. 1293 00:48:56,892 --> 00:48:57,812 - Aw. 1294 00:48:57,893 --> 00:48:59,273 - We’re in. 1295 00:48:59,353 --> 00:49:00,733 - It’s the only time I’m gonna ever cry too. 1296 00:49:00,813 --> 00:49:02,483 - Yes. 1297 00:49:02,565 --> 00:49:04,695 - I want you guys to open up emotionally. 1298 00:49:04,817 --> 00:49:07,987 These are all movies that I think ask you to do that. 1299 00:49:08,070 --> 00:49:10,110 - I love that. 1300 00:49:10,197 --> 00:49:12,317 - Now, if I asked you to hold hands right now, 1301 00:49:12,408 --> 00:49:13,488 would that feel awful? - No. 1302 00:49:13,576 --> 00:49:14,826 - No. 1303 00:49:14,910 --> 00:49:15,990 - I mean, that’s fine. 1304 00:49:16,078 --> 00:49:17,788 - So hold hands. 1305 00:49:17,872 --> 00:49:19,002 OK. 1306 00:49:19,081 --> 00:49:20,001 - Why are you-- 1307 00:49:20,124 --> 00:49:21,834 get in for the waffles. 1308 00:49:21,917 --> 00:49:23,497 - OK. 1309 00:49:23,586 --> 00:49:26,166 So there, you know, just a connection. 1310 00:49:26,255 --> 00:49:29,475 What is one true thing that you haven’t said to each other 1311 00:49:29,550 --> 00:49:33,890 that you could say to each other now? 1312 00:49:34,013 --> 00:49:37,643 - You’ve, like, gone above and beyond to incorporate yourself 1313 00:49:37,725 --> 00:49:39,945 into my life, whether it be just helping me 1314 00:49:40,019 --> 00:49:42,019 in different ways, like, you know, 1315 00:49:42,104 --> 00:49:45,484 taking Hank out on walks, and really being a good dog dad. 1316 00:49:45,566 --> 00:49:47,856 And making sure, you know, that I’m being fed, 1317 00:49:47,985 --> 00:49:49,855 because I probably wouldn’t eat throughout the day 1318 00:49:49,945 --> 00:49:52,195 if it wasn’t for you. 1319 00:49:52,281 --> 00:49:56,541 And I appreciate you probably more than you know. 1320 00:49:56,619 --> 00:49:59,329 - Yeah, and likewise. 1321 00:49:59,413 --> 00:50:02,043 I mean, it’s just the appreciation for, like, 1322 00:50:02,124 --> 00:50:03,674 your character, and your bravery, 1323 00:50:03,751 --> 00:50:07,501 and to try something new and different, 1324 00:50:07,588 --> 00:50:09,718 and, like, going on some of my journeys, 1325 00:50:09,798 --> 00:50:11,008 and being open-minded. 1326 00:50:11,091 --> 00:50:13,141 I definitely appreciate that. 1327 00:50:13,219 --> 00:50:16,009 And you having that entrepreneurial spirit, 1328 00:50:16,096 --> 00:50:19,096 despite, like, life giving you some challenges, 1329 00:50:19,225 --> 00:50:23,025 that just says an immense amount about your character. 1330 00:50:23,103 --> 00:50:26,733 - Thanks. 1331 00:50:26,815 --> 00:50:29,065 - Are those things you’ve never said to each other before? 1332 00:50:29,151 --> 00:50:31,701 - I don’t think we’ve ever, like, really verbalized that. 1333 00:50:31,779 --> 00:50:34,739 But I think we know it, but yeah, we haven’t sat down 1334 00:50:34,865 --> 00:50:36,735 and, like, truly said it. 1335 00:50:36,867 --> 00:50:38,737 - There’s a lot of marriages that would have liked 1336 00:50:38,827 --> 00:50:42,247 this description a lot. - Mm-hmm. 1337 00:50:42,331 --> 00:50:43,921 - That’s good to hear. - Yeah. 1338 00:50:43,999 --> 00:50:46,919 - And it sounds like if you two weren’t married, 1339 00:50:47,002 --> 00:50:48,752 you’d have a lot to miss. 1340 00:50:48,837 --> 00:50:51,757 - Mm-hmm, I would agree. 1341 00:50:51,882 --> 00:50:54,262 - ♪ Yeah, you and me are on our way ♪ 1342 00:50:58,013 --> 00:51:01,933 - ♪ Every day I wake up, pick my feet off the ground ♪ 1343 00:51:02,017 --> 00:51:03,267 - Today, Kirsten and I 1344 00:51:03,352 --> 00:51:04,392 are scheduled to meet 1345 00:51:04,478 --> 00:51:06,438 with DeVon Franklin. 1346 00:51:06,522 --> 00:51:09,402 - We’re struggling with our communication with each other. 1347 00:51:09,483 --> 00:51:13,153 And I always feel like it kind of sets us back 1348 00:51:13,279 --> 00:51:14,819 sometimes in our marriage. - Hey. 1349 00:51:14,947 --> 00:51:15,947 - Hello. - How you doing? 1350 00:51:16,073 --> 00:51:17,033 - Good. How are you? 1351 00:51:17,116 --> 00:51:18,906 - DeVon. Nice to meet you. 1352 00:51:18,993 --> 00:51:21,953 - Kirsten and I, we’re always on two different pages. 1353 00:51:22,037 --> 00:51:23,457 Like, we’re never on one accord. 1354 00:51:23,539 --> 00:51:25,079 Even when we think we’re on one accord, 1355 00:51:25,165 --> 00:51:26,455 we’re never on one accord. And it’s confusing. 1356 00:51:26,542 --> 00:51:27,462 I’m like, what the hell? 1357 00:51:27,543 --> 00:51:29,253 Like, why? 1358 00:51:29,336 --> 00:51:30,956 - It’s good to see you both. 1359 00:51:31,046 --> 00:51:33,296 It’s great to meet you. Heard a lot about you. 1360 00:51:33,424 --> 00:51:36,644 You know, I heard about what happened last night and-- 1361 00:51:36,719 --> 00:51:38,259 and the conversation. 1362 00:51:38,345 --> 00:51:39,215 So I just wanted to get a better sense 1363 00:51:39,305 --> 00:51:40,475 of how you all are feeling, 1364 00:51:40,556 --> 00:51:42,266 you know, about that incident. 1365 00:51:42,349 --> 00:51:45,479 Have you been able to work towards a resolution as a way 1366 00:51:45,561 --> 00:51:47,481 to kind of help me understand where you are 1367 00:51:47,563 --> 00:51:49,983 and where we need to go? 1368 00:51:50,065 --> 00:51:52,525 - I mean, it was just a big miscommunication. 1369 00:51:52,651 --> 00:51:55,451 And I tell him that I want us to do better on communicating 1370 00:51:55,529 --> 00:51:56,989 with each other. 1371 00:51:57,072 --> 00:51:59,832 I feel like we both dropped the ball. 1372 00:51:59,908 --> 00:52:01,788 When you tell me at the very end, 1373 00:52:01,869 --> 00:52:04,119 like, I wish you were there, I can’t believe you didn’t come 1374 00:52:04,204 --> 00:52:06,124 after everything is over, I’m like, well, 1375 00:52:06,206 --> 00:52:08,166 why didn’t you express this to me at the very beginning? 1376 00:52:08,250 --> 00:52:10,130 Because had he made it sound like that 1377 00:52:10,210 --> 00:52:12,000 at the very beginning, it would be no doubt and no question. 1378 00:52:12,129 --> 00:52:13,629 Like, I wouldn’t even ask any questions. 1379 00:52:13,714 --> 00:52:15,344 Like, I’d be like, I’m there. 1380 00:52:15,424 --> 00:52:19,014 - Do you feel supported in the marriage? 1381 00:52:19,136 --> 00:52:22,176 - Not at certain times. 1382 00:52:22,264 --> 00:52:24,434 - It’s a yes or a no. 1383 00:52:28,937 --> 00:52:30,687 - No. 1384 00:52:30,814 --> 00:52:32,574 - OK. 1385 00:52:32,691 --> 00:52:36,991 Do you feel you give support in the marriage, just in general? 1386 00:52:37,071 --> 00:52:39,871 - In general, yes. 1387 00:52:39,948 --> 00:52:41,488 - Here is the reality. 1388 00:52:41,575 --> 00:52:45,535 Unspoken expectations are relationship killers. 1389 00:52:45,621 --> 00:52:48,331 I want my spouse to do something. 1390 00:52:48,415 --> 00:52:50,665 I haven’t expressed that I want them to do it. 1391 00:52:50,751 --> 00:52:53,041 I haven’t got them to agree to do it, 1392 00:52:53,170 --> 00:52:55,380 but then I hold them accountable 1393 00:52:55,464 --> 00:52:59,054 and I get upset as if I actually did. 1394 00:52:59,134 --> 00:53:01,554 Then there’s resentment. 1395 00:53:01,637 --> 00:53:05,677 And that resentment is gonna drive a wedge between you all 1396 00:53:05,766 --> 00:53:11,016 that over time can be very difficult to fix. 1397 00:53:11,105 --> 00:53:14,865 This issue of support is a marriage deal-breaker. 1398 00:53:17,653 --> 00:53:19,913 So one of the things I want to work on 1399 00:53:20,030 --> 00:53:22,530 is this, right, this unspoken expectations 1400 00:53:22,616 --> 00:53:26,036 that you both kind of have and working on communicating. 1401 00:53:26,120 --> 00:53:28,080 Shaquille, can you just take a moment 1402 00:53:28,163 --> 00:53:31,963 to explain to Kirsten, what does support look like to you? 1403 00:53:32,084 --> 00:53:35,054 - Kirsten, the type of support I would like to see 1404 00:53:35,129 --> 00:53:40,759 is for you to be invested in who I am. 1405 00:53:40,843 --> 00:53:44,603 I want you to see me in my zone 1406 00:53:44,680 --> 00:53:47,470 of doing something I love to do. 1407 00:53:47,599 --> 00:53:51,059 That way, you can appreciate when I go off to work. 1408 00:53:51,145 --> 00:53:52,735 And that’s why I was like, you know, 1409 00:53:52,813 --> 00:53:54,943 even with the work event, I wanted you there, 1410 00:53:55,023 --> 00:53:57,443 not because of I’m just trying 1411 00:53:57,568 --> 00:53:59,948 to show off my wife, but in that moment, 1412 00:54:00,070 --> 00:54:03,200 it was an opportunity for you to see me first hand at work. 1413 00:54:03,282 --> 00:54:05,622 And that’s a part of me that you have not seen yet. 1414 00:54:05,743 --> 00:54:08,583 [soft music] 1415 00:54:08,662 --> 00:54:10,412 ♪ ♪ 1416 00:54:10,497 --> 00:54:11,617 - [sighs] 1417 00:54:11,707 --> 00:54:15,247 I feel like I am there for you. 1418 00:54:15,335 --> 00:54:17,045 The time we visited Jackson 1419 00:54:17,129 --> 00:54:19,799 for you to have the presentation down there, 1420 00:54:19,882 --> 00:54:22,302 I asked you all about your education. 1421 00:54:22,384 --> 00:54:24,474 I try to be supportive as far as, like, 1422 00:54:24,553 --> 00:54:27,143 reminding you, hey, did you, you know, 1423 00:54:27,222 --> 00:54:28,682 get to work on the paper today? 1424 00:54:28,807 --> 00:54:30,307 Did you find somebody to help you with it? 1425 00:54:30,434 --> 00:54:32,274 Like, I do those type of things. 1426 00:54:32,352 --> 00:54:33,812 And it’s like, I don’t know if you’re 1427 00:54:33,937 --> 00:54:35,857 recognizing or really understanding that 1428 00:54:35,981 --> 00:54:38,151 that is me supporting you. 1429 00:54:38,233 --> 00:54:42,453 It does make me feel like, OK, like, I’m not doing enough. 1430 00:54:42,529 --> 00:54:44,779 - Yes, we did go to Jackson for the research conference, 1431 00:54:44,865 --> 00:54:46,415 and I did show you the board. 1432 00:54:46,492 --> 00:54:48,492 But it’s like, it’s so much more than that. 1433 00:54:48,577 --> 00:54:51,077 Like, that was literally, like, our first week being married. 1434 00:54:51,163 --> 00:54:55,293 Like, but it wasn’t, like, this is really big for him. 1435 00:54:55,375 --> 00:54:58,625 - But hold on. But hold on. Hold on now. 1436 00:54:58,712 --> 00:55:00,132 It’s really hard to prescribe 1437 00:55:00,214 --> 00:55:02,594 how someone should respond. 1438 00:55:02,674 --> 00:55:06,014 It sounded like you were almost diminishing her support. 1439 00:55:06,094 --> 00:55:08,564 If she had showed up, or she’s trying to show support, 1440 00:55:08,680 --> 00:55:11,350 or she’s asking questions and that’s not good enough, 1441 00:55:11,433 --> 00:55:14,523 that might, like, not motivate her to want to lean in 1442 00:55:14,603 --> 00:55:16,233 and want to ask more questions. 1443 00:55:16,355 --> 00:55:18,155 Because it’s like, well, look, if I ask these questions 1444 00:55:18,232 --> 00:55:20,032 and it’s like, well, I didn’t ask them the right way, 1445 00:55:20,150 --> 00:55:21,610 that becomes really challenging. 1446 00:55:21,693 --> 00:55:24,283 Because on some level, what she’s looking for 1447 00:55:24,363 --> 00:55:26,243 is also validation and acceptance. 1448 00:55:26,365 --> 00:55:27,325 Hey, I see you. 1449 00:55:27,407 --> 00:55:31,197 Thank you for showing up. 1450 00:55:31,328 --> 00:55:33,288 - I am a very supportive person, 1451 00:55:33,372 --> 00:55:35,832 and that also comes within time. 1452 00:55:35,916 --> 00:55:38,496 Over time, like, I’ve been very supportive, 1453 00:55:38,585 --> 00:55:40,995 you know, as a daughter, as a sister, 1454 00:55:41,088 --> 00:55:43,168 in my previous relationship. 1455 00:55:43,257 --> 00:55:45,217 So for me, that comes within time. 1456 00:55:45,300 --> 00:55:48,850 Like, it’ll become as easy as clockwork. 1457 00:55:48,929 --> 00:55:52,179 ♪ ♪ 1458 00:55:52,266 --> 00:55:53,596 - Do you feel that? - Yes. 1459 00:55:53,725 --> 00:55:54,555 - And do you believe that? 1460 00:55:54,685 --> 00:55:56,815 - I believe it. 1461 00:55:56,895 --> 00:55:58,225 - The reason why this is so important now 1462 00:55:58,313 --> 00:56:02,073 is it lays the foundation for what’s going to come. 1463 00:56:02,150 --> 00:56:03,530 But the key is this-- 1464 00:56:03,610 --> 00:56:06,450 communicating, talking to each other, 1465 00:56:06,572 --> 00:56:11,952 and taking the pressure off of each other. 1466 00:56:12,077 --> 00:56:13,407 He’s too-- he’s too hard to please. 1467 00:56:13,537 --> 00:56:14,407 You know what? 1468 00:56:14,538 --> 00:56:15,538 She doesn’t care. 1469 00:56:15,622 --> 00:56:17,212 - Mm-hmm. 1470 00:56:17,291 --> 00:56:18,881 - In that space, we create our own narratives, 1471 00:56:18,959 --> 00:56:20,669 and our own narratives always are gonna 1472 00:56:20,752 --> 00:56:23,052 work against our marriage. 1473 00:56:23,130 --> 00:56:25,170 - Not Shaquille and Kirsten. 1474 00:56:25,257 --> 00:56:27,927 It’s us. 1475 00:56:28,010 --> 00:56:30,260 - Because two become one. - Yeah. 1476 00:56:30,345 --> 00:56:32,885 - ♪ Yeah, it’s bright, oh ♪ 1477 00:56:32,973 --> 00:56:34,273 ♪ Now just burn brighter ♪ 1478 00:56:37,895 --> 00:56:40,865 - ♪ I never knew loving that would feel so true ♪ 1479 00:56:40,939 --> 00:56:41,979 ♪ You got the key to my heart ♪ 1480 00:56:42,107 --> 00:56:43,187 - How are you guys doing? - Good. 1481 00:56:43,275 --> 00:56:44,115 How are you? - We’re good. 1482 00:56:44,234 --> 00:56:45,114 - Awesome. Well, you know, 1483 00:56:45,235 --> 00:56:46,735 you guys look more settled 1484 00:56:46,820 --> 00:56:47,740 than the last time. - Oh, yeah. 1485 00:56:47,821 --> 00:56:49,531 - Oh, for sure. 1486 00:56:49,615 --> 00:56:53,035 - So tell me, how has this journey been up to this point? 1487 00:56:53,118 --> 00:56:56,198 - A lot of diving deep, a lot of emotions 1488 00:56:56,288 --> 00:56:57,578 and kind of diving into our past and... 1489 00:56:57,664 --> 00:56:59,044 - Very good. 1490 00:56:59,124 --> 00:57:00,384 - Like, doing all the exercises and stuff. 1491 00:57:00,459 --> 00:57:02,289 - We’ve shared a lot about our past, 1492 00:57:02,377 --> 00:57:03,667 and it’s brought up a lot. 1493 00:57:03,795 --> 00:57:07,465 And--and I know this is gonna sound not right, 1494 00:57:07,549 --> 00:57:09,049 but I’m just going to say it 1495 00:57:09,134 --> 00:57:10,344 because I know what I signed up for. 1496 00:57:10,469 --> 00:57:13,719 But there is a little part of me 1497 00:57:13,805 --> 00:57:18,015 that I still think, like, well, he didn’t pick me. 1498 00:57:18,143 --> 00:57:20,233 He was chosen for me by experts, 1499 00:57:20,312 --> 00:57:26,232 who did an amazing job, but he didn’t pick me. 1500 00:57:26,318 --> 00:57:27,778 - But at this point, I would pick you. 1501 00:57:27,861 --> 00:57:29,281 You know that, right? 1502 00:57:29,363 --> 00:57:32,453 - I know that, but there’s still a little 1503 00:57:32,532 --> 00:57:33,992 part of me that cannot-- 1504 00:57:34,076 --> 00:57:35,236 - I need you to stop, OK? - I know. 1505 00:57:35,327 --> 00:57:36,447 How, though? 1506 00:57:36,536 --> 00:57:38,246 - I really need you to stop, OK? 1507 00:57:38,330 --> 00:57:40,330 First of all, you need to understand 1508 00:57:40,415 --> 00:57:44,585 that he did pick you, not after he met you, 1509 00:57:44,670 --> 00:57:45,920 but he picked you before. 1510 00:57:46,004 --> 00:57:47,214 And this is how that happened. 1511 00:57:47,339 --> 00:57:48,379 He told us everything he wanted. 1512 00:57:48,507 --> 00:57:50,087 - Yeah. 1513 00:57:50,175 --> 00:57:52,295 - And he went through great lengths 1514 00:57:52,386 --> 00:57:55,466 to be completely honest and open about himself. 1515 00:57:55,555 --> 00:57:56,755 And you did the same. 1516 00:57:56,848 --> 00:57:58,928 When you gave us all that information, 1517 00:57:59,017 --> 00:58:02,227 we said, OK, these two, sight unseen, 1518 00:58:02,354 --> 00:58:05,984 are actually choosing each other. 1519 00:58:06,066 --> 00:58:07,276 And he’s--are you happy? 1520 00:58:07,359 --> 00:58:09,319 - Everything’s been awesome with her. 1521 00:58:09,403 --> 00:58:11,403 She’s been, like, there for me. 1522 00:58:11,530 --> 00:58:13,820 Like, there’s not any questions about, like, 1523 00:58:13,907 --> 00:58:15,327 does she have my back? 1524 00:58:15,409 --> 00:58:16,199 Does she have my best interests at heart? 1525 00:58:16,326 --> 00:58:17,656 Because she fully does. 1526 00:58:17,744 --> 00:58:19,124 So, like, yeah, she doesn’t need to worry. 1527 00:58:19,204 --> 00:58:20,504 No matter how much I tell her she doesn’t need to worry, 1528 00:58:20,580 --> 00:58:21,870 like, there’s still-- 1529 00:58:21,957 --> 00:58:23,367 I feel like there’s still--like, she’s got 1530 00:58:23,500 --> 00:58:24,540 the angel and the devil on the shoulders. 1531 00:58:24,626 --> 00:58:25,586 - Yeah, the little devil. - Yeah. 1532 00:58:25,711 --> 00:58:26,921 - And I feel like sometimes 1533 00:58:27,045 --> 00:58:31,045 she listens more to the little devil at times. 1534 00:58:31,133 --> 00:58:32,633 - Right now it feels like there’s 1535 00:58:32,718 --> 00:58:34,638 a part of me that’s trying to make him run away 1536 00:58:34,720 --> 00:58:36,300 so I can say, oh, I was right. - Yes. 1537 00:58:36,388 --> 00:58:38,308 - Like, I knew he was gonna do it like every other guy. 1538 00:58:38,390 --> 00:58:40,310 But I don’t want him to go anywhere. 1539 00:58:40,392 --> 00:58:41,812 - You know what that--you know what that’s called? 1540 00:58:41,893 --> 00:58:42,893 Self-sabotage. 1541 00:58:43,020 --> 00:58:44,440 - Yeah, oh, yeah, I’m good at that. 1542 00:58:44,563 --> 00:58:45,983 - Yeah. 1543 00:58:46,064 --> 00:58:48,274 You know, when you got this guy on your shoulder 1544 00:58:48,400 --> 00:58:51,440 telling you negative stuff, realize you put him there. 1545 00:58:51,570 --> 00:58:52,780 - Yeah. 1546 00:58:52,904 --> 00:58:54,824 - So you have power over him, OK? 1547 00:58:54,906 --> 00:58:56,196 - Getting rid of him. 1548 00:58:56,283 --> 00:58:58,123 - And that’s--quite often I think we forget 1549 00:58:58,243 --> 00:59:02,543 we have power over the negativity 1550 00:59:02,622 --> 00:59:04,172 that often confronts us. 1551 00:59:04,249 --> 00:59:05,709 - I’m working on it. 1552 00:59:05,792 --> 00:59:07,212 - Oh, no, no, no, I need you to start changing-- 1553 00:59:07,294 --> 00:59:08,674 changing your rhetoric. 1554 00:59:08,754 --> 00:59:09,754 You’re not working on it. - I’m doing it. 1555 00:59:09,880 --> 00:59:11,300 - Yes. - I’m doing it. 1556 00:59:11,423 --> 00:59:14,973 - You’re doing it, exactly. 1557 00:59:15,093 --> 00:59:16,893 - My question is, is there something 1558 00:59:16,970 --> 00:59:19,390 I can be doing differently to help you, you know? 1559 00:59:19,473 --> 00:59:21,473 I’m willing to help you in any way I can. 1560 00:59:21,600 --> 00:59:22,810 So you just got to let me know what that is. 1561 00:59:22,934 --> 00:59:24,564 - I mean, you are wonderful. 1562 00:59:24,644 --> 00:59:28,864 Just asking alone is probably more care than anyone’s ever 1563 00:59:28,940 --> 00:59:33,530 put into it, but this is, like, ultimately part of 1564 00:59:33,612 --> 00:59:37,492 a bigger fear of I’m afraid of this relationship becoming 1565 00:59:37,616 --> 00:59:39,696 about Chris helping Nicole. 1566 00:59:39,785 --> 00:59:41,875 - Did you ask him if he feels that way? 1567 00:59:41,953 --> 00:59:44,583 - Do you feel like this is one-sided? 1568 00:59:44,664 --> 00:59:45,964 - No, I don’t feel like it’s one-sided. 1569 00:59:46,041 --> 00:59:47,831 I feel like there’s just-- 1570 00:59:47,959 --> 00:59:51,709 right now, like, I’ve resolved a lot of my kind of past, 1571 00:59:51,797 --> 00:59:55,587 but, like, you know, for you, I think just going through 1572 00:59:55,675 --> 00:59:57,255 all these exercises and kind of taking 1573 00:59:57,344 --> 00:59:58,854 a deeper look at yourself, it’s like brought out 1574 00:59:58,970 --> 01:00:00,430 things that you-- 1575 01:00:00,514 --> 01:00:02,314 I think you kind of buried it deep down 1576 01:00:02,432 --> 01:00:04,482 and thought it was resolved, but it’s kind of opened 1577 01:00:04,559 --> 01:00:06,519 Pandora’s box, so to speak. 1578 01:00:06,645 --> 01:00:08,485 And I think that’s part of what’s going on. 1579 01:00:08,563 --> 01:00:11,903 So, like, in this moment, like, I do feel like I need 1580 01:00:11,983 --> 01:00:13,903 to be there and help you more. 1581 01:00:13,985 --> 01:00:15,445 But like, it’s not one-sided. 1582 01:00:15,529 --> 01:00:16,949 Like, a good example was in the honeymoon 1583 01:00:17,030 --> 01:00:19,160 when I was, like, really upset about the dogs 1584 01:00:19,282 --> 01:00:21,912 and had a weak moment, like, you took everything on. 1585 01:00:21,993 --> 01:00:23,793 It was so impactful and so meaningful 1586 01:00:23,870 --> 01:00:26,580 that, like, now it’s got that shift and it’s more on you, 1587 01:00:26,665 --> 01:00:27,925 and that’s fine. 1588 01:00:27,999 --> 01:00:29,379 Like, that’s part of what it is. 1589 01:00:29,501 --> 01:00:30,421 - OK. - So, like, that’s--that’s-- 1590 01:00:30,502 --> 01:00:31,542 - I can get on board with that. 1591 01:00:31,670 --> 01:00:33,210 - Yeah, but you can’t question it. 1592 01:00:33,338 --> 01:00:34,588 - Yeah. - OK. 1593 01:00:34,673 --> 01:00:35,763 - Yeah, you just cannot. - That makes sense to me. 1594 01:00:35,841 --> 01:00:37,631 So I get that. 1595 01:00:37,717 --> 01:00:39,467 - You know, I’m blown away by her every day. 1596 01:00:39,553 --> 01:00:41,763 Like, she’s got my back no matter what. 1597 01:00:41,847 --> 01:00:43,927 She’s always there. 1598 01:00:44,015 --> 01:00:46,595 And you know, it’s I know that I can trust her. 1599 01:00:46,685 --> 01:00:48,065 I know that I can-- 1600 01:00:48,186 --> 01:00:50,186 I know that I can tell her anything. 1601 01:00:50,272 --> 01:00:54,482 - Do you love her? 1602 01:00:54,568 --> 01:00:56,438 - Honestly, I do. 1603 01:00:56,528 --> 01:00:58,238 I do love you. 1604 01:00:58,363 --> 01:01:01,033 - ♪ But I don’t really want to live without you ♪ 1605 01:01:01,158 --> 01:01:03,078 - Aw. 1606 01:01:03,201 --> 01:01:04,411 - Is this the first time you’ve told her that? 1607 01:01:04,536 --> 01:01:06,156 - It is. - Mm-hmm. 1608 01:01:06,246 --> 01:01:07,746 - It’s the first time. 1609 01:01:07,873 --> 01:01:10,463 I’ve been feeling it for a little while now. 1610 01:01:10,542 --> 01:01:12,592 - Why didn’t you say it? 1611 01:01:12,711 --> 01:01:13,711 - I was like--I don’t know. 1612 01:01:13,795 --> 01:01:14,955 I don’t know. 1613 01:01:15,046 --> 01:01:15,876 I don’t know why I didn’t say it. 1614 01:01:16,006 --> 01:01:17,256 - Because of the myst-- 1615 01:01:17,382 --> 01:01:18,882 because of the mystification of it. 1616 01:01:18,967 --> 01:01:21,757 We give the word all this credit and all this weight 1617 01:01:21,887 --> 01:01:24,347 when, in actuality, the emotions are there. 1618 01:01:24,431 --> 01:01:25,431 The commitment is there. 1619 01:01:25,557 --> 01:01:26,927 You’re completely committed to her. 1620 01:01:27,058 --> 01:01:28,558 - You’re right. 1621 01:01:28,643 --> 01:01:30,943 - This is the one that you’re pledging your life to. 1622 01:01:31,062 --> 01:01:32,862 - Mm-hmm. 1623 01:01:32,939 --> 01:01:36,149 - You chose her. 1624 01:01:36,234 --> 01:01:37,494 - I love you. 1625 01:01:37,569 --> 01:01:39,859 - And I love you too. 1626 01:01:39,946 --> 01:01:43,776 - ♪ Believe in me ♪ 1627 01:01:43,909 --> 01:01:45,489 ♪ ♪ 1628 01:01:45,577 --> 01:01:49,457 - Next time on "Married at First Sight"... 1629 01:01:49,581 --> 01:01:50,711 - Whoo! 1630 01:01:50,790 --> 01:01:51,750 - With Decision Day 1631 01:01:51,833 --> 01:01:53,463 less than two weeks away, 1632 01:01:53,585 --> 01:01:56,465 our couples are heading out on a weekend retreat. 1633 01:01:56,588 --> 01:01:59,218 - My hot husband! 1634 01:01:59,299 --> 01:02:01,509 [cheers and applause] 1635 01:02:01,593 --> 01:02:03,143 - "I love you. Thanks for everything, 1636 01:02:03,261 --> 01:02:06,011 and I’m grateful to be your husband." 1637 01:02:06,097 --> 01:02:08,847 These are so sweet. 1638 01:02:08,934 --> 01:02:10,104 - Hey, y’all, so we got bears. 1639 01:02:10,185 --> 01:02:11,565 - I’m gonna open the door. 1640 01:02:11,645 --> 01:02:12,855 Hey, buddy. 1641 01:02:12,938 --> 01:02:14,938 - Oh, freakin’ God. 1642 01:02:15,023 --> 01:02:16,693 - It’s kind of heavy, ’cause then it almost feels 1643 01:02:16,775 --> 01:02:18,115 like I’m doing something wrong. 1644 01:02:18,193 --> 01:02:20,363 What am I doing that’s making you question this? So... 1645 01:02:20,445 --> 01:02:21,895 - I really don’t want to ruin this retreat, 1646 01:02:21,988 --> 01:02:24,118 so I’m gonna have to make the best of it. 1647 01:02:24,241 --> 01:02:26,281 - You know, we’re not where we want to be. 1648 01:02:26,368 --> 01:02:27,738 - I didn’t sign up for this journey 1649 01:02:27,827 --> 01:02:28,787 to be married to a friend. 1650 01:02:28,870 --> 01:02:30,500 I have lots of friends. 1651 01:02:30,622 --> 01:02:33,332 - I definitely need more grace in this marriage 1652 01:02:33,458 --> 01:02:35,128 and for it to be consistent. 1653 01:02:35,252 --> 01:02:37,922 - She had a guard up all of these weeks. 1654 01:02:38,004 --> 01:02:39,464 I done went through all this [bleep] for nothing? 1655 01:02:39,547 --> 01:02:44,797 ♪ ♪