♪ ♪
STAN: Happy birthday, Hopey.
Nice. Beautiful. One more.
Show me your somersault.
Ta-da!
STAN: Climb the wall. HOPE: Almost.
STAN: Look, she's doing a handstand.
Come on!
That's it, all the way! Come on!
Wow!
- Huggie, Dad. - Come here. That's good for a huggie.
Just like that. Okay. Let's see those jumps again, the split up.
Good. Good! Much better.
Future champion.
Here's the big moment. It's all about the dismount. Ready?
No, no, no, no, no. Oh! Good. Oh!
- I'm a champion. - You're darn right, you are. Try it again.
Point the toes. Chin up. Tight, tight.
Show how beautiful and talented you are. Perfect hand.
Are those boobs coming in? No boobs!
I like that.
Wow!
(SNIFFLES)
- To gold in Rome! Whoo! - Gold in Rome!
(WHOOPING)
(CROWD CHEERING)
CROWD: (CHANTING) USA! USA! USA!
HEATH: I just marvel every time I see Hope Ann Greggory perform.
At 17, she is the epitome of power and grace.
Coach Pavleck says she is the hardest worker on the team.
- (BONE CRACKS) - (HOPE WAILS)
(CROWD GASPING, MURMURING)
(CAMERAS CLICKING)
Mother (BLEEP)! Mother (BLEEP)!
This is a potentially career-ending injury.
- (HOPE GASPING) - MAN: Focus.
(SPORTSCASTERS OVERLAPPING IN VARIOUS LANGUAGES)
- I don't want that. I don't want that. - She said no.
HEATH: No wheelchair. She's determined to get off on her own power.
(CROWD APPLAUDING)
Wait. Hold on, Dominique.
I am now getting word Greggory is going to attempt the uneven bars.
WOMAN: Oh, my God!
(BROADCASTERS SPEAKING VARIOUS LANGUAGES)
- This is truly inspirational. - It really is.
BRITISH SPORTSCASTER: This, ladies and gentlemen, is quite remarkable.
- You are star. - (BREATH SHUDDERING)
You will make me so proud.
HEATH: Thousands of hours training together
back at that little gym in Amherst, Ohio.
- This is their moment. - (CROWD CHEERING)
CROWD: (CHANTING) USA! USA! USA!
HEATH: This is the Amherst Angel's strongest event
and she's going to need a 9.7 or higher to take the medal away from those Russians.
DAWES: She needs to pull off this Jaeger. Nearly flawless, nearly flawless.
Beautiful handstand half.
Now she's preparing for her full-end dismount.
This is a tough dismount for her. She needs to stick this landing.
HEATH: This is really tough to watch. DAWES: Here it comes. Full twist.
(CROWD CHEERING AND APPLAUDING)
DAWES: Oh! On one leg! HEATH: Do you believe in miracles?
You do now! The Amherst Angel has stuck the landing.
(AMPLIFIED HEARTBEAT)
CROWD (CHANTING): USA! USA! USA!
(HEART BEATING FASTER)
- STAN: Hopey! What do you want for lunch? - (GASPS)
Grilled cheese and tomato!
No crust!
HEATH: 9.8! DAWES: Wow!
- HEATH: She's done the impossible! - (AMPLIFIED HEARTBEAT)
This is absolutely incredible, Dominique!
DAWES: Goodness, she could never write this...
- (GASPING PASSIONATELY) - (HEART BEATING FASTER)
(EXHALES)
ARENA ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen,
please stand for the Chinese national anthem.
(ANNOUNCER 2 SPEAKING SPANISH)
(FEMALE ANNOUNCER SPEAKING MANDARIN)
(INHALING DEEPLY)
(CHINESE NATIONAL ANTHEM PLAYING OVER VIDEO)
♪ ♪
(CAMERAS CLICKING)
(TURNS OFF TV)
- (WHISTLING CHEERFULLY) - (FOOD SIZZLING)
(DOG BARKING IN DISTANCE)
(STAN SINGING CHEERFULLY IN DISTANCE)
(SINGING CONTINUES)
(STAN WHISTLING)
STAN: Hopey!
(POSTAL TRUCK DOOR CLOSES OUTSIDE)
Hopey? Your grilled cheese is ready.
What? No, I said I wanted Hamburger Helper!
Where the fuck did you get grilled cheese? Just forget it, Dad.
I'm gonna go to Sbarro.
Mountain Dew, large.
- Diet? - Did I say diet?
Sorry. Most girls order diet.
- Okay. That comes to $9.30. - Oh, no, it doesn't.
Oh, no, no, no. She's on the house.
- Don't you know who this is? - You tell him, Tony.
- Check the wall, son. - HOPE: Yeah. Check the wall, son.
Oh, you used to be way skinnier.
Hey, Hope.
- Take these. - Okay.
- Any, uh, new stuff in the back? - Yeah, totally.
It's supposed to be bomb-ass shit. He said it was government grade.
I don't know if that means that the government grows it,
or maybe they just grade it?
Stop you right there.
Do not talk about politics. It's crass. You're gonna lose a lot of customers.
But you don't... You don't pay me.
♪ ♪
Hey, John.
(GRUNTING QUIETLY)
- Chair busted again, Davey? - Yeah.
Oh.
Here. Go get it fixed.
Thanks, Hope.
♪ ♪
Oh, I like the new running sneakers, they're very hip.
Well, they send me so frickin' many for endorsements.
At some point, I'm gonna have to tell 'em to back the fuck off.
I know it must get old for you,
but you lead such a glamorous life. (CHUCKLES)
(KNOCKING ON WINDOW)
(MUFFLED) Hi, Doris!
(DORIS LAUGHING)
Oh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh! Hope Ann Greggory is here!
(DORIS GIGGLING)
You gotta be fucking kidding me.
DORIS: Isn't that Maggie Townsend adorable?
She comes in here all the time with your old Coach Pavleck.
- (DOOR BELLS JINGLING) - OMG! Hope Ann Greggory.
I have been, like, praying that we would run into each other. I'm Maggie.
Hope, this is Maggie. I'm surprised you two haven't crossed paths.
Maggie reminds me so much of you when you were younger.
Hey, Hope.
- Hi. - It's, uh, me, Ben.
Ben Lawfort. Uh, my dad co-owns the gym with Coach P.
Twitchy.
Oh. (CHUCKLES)
Yeah. Uh, no one really calls me that anymore.
Uh, in fact, you were the only person that, that did.
Um, but, hey, I'm back in town.
- Graduated, finally. - You look so different.
- Oh, really? (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) - But that's still there, so now I see it.
Yeah, well, anyway, uh, I'm helping Coach P with Maggie here.
Coach was saying that, uh, she's trying to get a hold of you. I don't know if...
- Did you just say you graduated? - I did.
Aren't you, like, 12?
Uh, no. I was 12, uh, when I was 12.
Uh, I was 12 when you won your first World Championship,
so maybe that was what you...
Isn't that funny?
Maggie just made it to the top five of the World Championship.
I heard.
I, like, totally crushed it. (GIGGLES)
Miss Greggory, maybe we could exchange phone numbers,
- or something... - (SLURPING)
...and, uh, we could text or FaceTime,
- or I don't know... - (SLURPING LOUDLY)
♪ ♪
(CAR DOOR CLOSES)
- Hope? - (SIGHS)
Can we talk a second?
HOPE: What?
Do you remember when you made this for me, the first day of art class?
(STAN SLURPS, SIGHS)
It was the greatest day of my life.
So, I'm beginning with that positive affirmation.
Yeah. It was your idea for a lame Father's Day art project.
Are you done "remenessing" about homeschool?
- It's "reminiscing," sweetie. - That's what I said.
A good use of a vocab word. Come here, sit.
Standing, go, what?
(CLAPS HANDS)
My supervisor has had several complaints
that pieces of mail from my route have gone missing again.
So, suck less.
Honey, I know you've been stealing from my truck again.
That's ridiculous.
I found these in my mailbag.
- Mmm, maybe your truck has rats. - I don't think so.
Hopey, you promised you'd get a job.
And I've been looking. Where do you think I've been all day?
I ran into Coach P at the market.
She really wants to put the past behind you guys.
She said that she could use someone like you.
What do you mean by "market"?
- The grocery store. - Then just say that. You're not a pilgrim.
Have you thought any more about working at the gym?
I'm not a coach, I'm a star! I was on Dancing with the Stars!
It's not called Dancing with the Coaches!
When athletes get injured, they need to make other plans.
I don't need another plan. You and Coach P don't listen. I healed.
Not exactly.
(HOPE SIGHS)
Well, you weren't worried about how "exactly"
when you pushed me to go for another medal.
How many times can I tell you that I'm sorry? I was wrong. We were both wrong.
It's worse for an adult to be wrong.
That's true.
And may I remind you that my awesomeness paid for this entire house...
- That money's long gone. - ...the motor boat, the Ronco Rotisserie...
STAN: We depend entirely on my salary these days, and in six months,
all we'll have left is my pension!
I know, I know. This is so boring!
No, no, you listen to me. It'll be less than half of what I make now.
Not enough to support both of us and this lifestyle of yours.
I don't have a lifestyle.
That's if I even make it to the pension I've worked over 30 years to earn
since my daughter keeps putting that in jeopardy
by stealing from the US Postal Service!
- I'm borrowing. That's not a crime. - It's a federal crime!
- And I won't stand for it! - Dad...
No, no, enough!
You don't know what it's like to grow up without a mom.
It's so hard being a motherless daughter, Daddy.
Oh... I know, sweetie.
No six-month-old should have to deal with that kind of a loss.
- Five-and-a-half-month-old. - Mmm.
We're not done here. I'm setting boundaries. No more allowance.
Are you insane? Why are you insane?
Hope Annabelle, let's de-escalate, shall we?
You're cutting off my allowance and you want me to stop stealing?
- What kind of a sick monster are you? - Do not call me a monster.
You only give me $500 a week, so I'm forced to steal!
If you cut off my allowance, I'm gonna have to suck dicks
in a Cost Final bathroom for money!
Is that what you want, Dad?
Do you want me to suck on dirty dicks in a discount warehouse toilet?
Look, I never said that dirty dicks were the solution here.
(SIGHS) Why do you need all this money if I'm paying for the roof over your head?
- Your gas, your car... - You are way too up in my shit!
I need my privacy.
All right.
What happened to our little girl, Bradley?
(BELL TOLLING)
(BELL CONTINUES TOLLING)
♪ ♪
(GRUNTS)
(MOUTHING) Fuck you.
I'm calling it how see it
These bitches be fake winning
I wouldn't want to be near 'em
'Cause these niggas be fake...
(SONG FADES OUT)
♪ ♪
HOPE: Dad! Did you get my sub? STAN: On the table!
Where are the pepperoncinis?
STAN: Oh... I forgot!
Are you trying to ruin my life?
STAN: No. But I did want to talk to you about looking for a job.
Dad! Eating!
(NEWS THEME PLAYING)
Coach Eleyna Pavleck was found dead last night of an apparent suicide.
- Oh, my God... - Shh.
The former coach of bronze medalist, Hope Ann Greggory,
was currently helming the career of elite gymnast, Maggie Townsend,
also from Amherst, Ohio.
Well, as you can imagine,
it's a very sad day here at the Eleyna Pavleck Gymnastics Center.
Pavleck had spent recent years guiding the career of Mighty Maggie Townsend.
Experts agree that Townsend has the potential
to surpass Greggory's bronze at this year's Toronto Games
as a leading contender for the US Women's Team.
Karen, back to you.
Sources say Pavleck was coaching Townsend free of charge
as her single mother could not afford the expenses
associated with an elite training program.
Mike's up next with the Ohio weather and the lottery numbers.
Fuck.
Hope? You okay?
Why would they show that picture of me? There are so many hotter ones.
Are you all right, sweetie?
This sub sucks without the pepperoncinis.
Hope, did you hear what they said about Coach P?
Are you all right? Do you need a huggie? Hmm?
No, I do not! I'm not five!
Hope, it's okay, you can feel bad. There's nothing wrong with...
Stop treating me like I'm fucking five!
Chains about to pull me in
Misery
I can't swim...
Hey.
Yo. Which one of you guys want to buy me a drink?
(LAUGHS)
That's me.
- That's you? - Yep.
You look nice.
I still, like, hardly ever get my period.
So, you don't gotta worry about knocking me up.
You could fuck me all raw and shit.
- (LAUGHS) - Wow.
So... (CHUCKLES)
- So, if we buy you a drink... - Will I let you double team me? Absolutely.
Could you just leave us alone?
(SIGHS)
- (CAR APPROACHES) - (TIRES SCREECH)
(DOOR OPENS)
- HOPE: I fucking hate you. - (DOOR CLOSES)
Oh, sweetie. (SIGHS)
- (GRUNTS) - Huggie, Daddy.
(STAN SIGHS)
Huggie. Huggie, huggie.
- How you doing today, honey? - (HOPE GROANS)
I just woke up.
Give me a chance to orientate myself for the day.
(HOPE SIGHS)
Save that Bed, Bath & Beyond coupon, I need to get some stuff there.
I don't know what money you're gonna use for that.
(SCOFFS)
Oh, this is for you.
Can you read it? My eyes are ti-ti.
(INHALES DEEPLY)
- (CHUCKLES) - What? Read it.
It's from Coach P.
(STUTTERS) Okay. "Dearest Hope.
"By the time you receive letter, you will already know that I'm gone.
"You have been angry at me, but what I said to you was for your good.
"I pray you see that one day.
"From the treasures of my life's chest, I leave you $500,000."
Oh, shit. $500...
"But you must listen that these monies are yours
"under the steadiest condition that you train the daffodil
"who is about to peak through the snow,
"my dancing flower gymnast, Maggie Townsend,
"through to the end of her Toronto Games campaign."
Oh, you gotta be fucking kidding me.
"My will trustee will present your fortune when the sun has set on your duties.
"No matter the outcome, once Maggie's campaign is done,
"this payment will manifest.
"No one must know of this bounty that waits for you.
"It must appear that Maggie proceeds in your care from the goodness of your heart.
"I know you can do this, Hope. Farewell."
I'd rather die than train that loser.
Can't you see that Coach P loves you so much
that she wanted you to have this opportunity?
Half a million dollars. That's a lot of money.
It says $500,000.
That's half a million.
- Jesus, I know! You're so annoying! - Well, it could be...
- Stop talking, I'm thinking! - All I'm saying...
Stop talking, I'm thinking!
- Dad, come on! - I'm not talking!
You're talking, I'm thinking! Stop!
(QUIETLY) Stop.
I hear you breathing. You're always disrupting my thought processes.
How can anyone think with your breathing?
- (KNOCKING ON DOOR) - Oh.
(GOSPEL MUSIC PLAYING)
- Maggie here? - Hope Ann Greggory. Wow.
- I'm, um, Janice, I'm Maggie's mom. - Okay.
Oh, please come in.
Wow, it's... It's such an honor. I was such a fan of yours growing up.
I know I'm a few years older, but I really looked up to you.
I think you're more than a few years older. You're a mom.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah. Caught me.
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
Come in.
Hey, Maggie, Miss Greggory's here to see you.
- Hi. - 'Sup.
Guess I'm your new coach.
(SIGHS) You're my idol and that would be super awesome,
but I'm quitting gymnastics.
Oh, hon... Maggie. Honey, you don't mean that. Right? (KISSES)
You sure? Go with your gut.
(GASPS) Hey, Maggie. Why don't you show Miss Greggory your picture?
Okay? All right.
Well, I'm just gonna leave you two ladies alone then.
You know, we've met before.
- Yeah, I know. The diner. - Before that.
I was living in Harrisburg and you were at the mall signing pictures when I was five.
Uh, I told you I wanted to be a gymnast,
and you wrote, (SIGHS) "Go for it." (CHUCKLES)
I keep it in that drawer with a picture of my dad.
He left when I was three, so...
My mom died when I was five-and-a-half months old.
Mine's a fuck of a lot worse.
I can't believe you're in my room right now. (CHUCKLES)
Let's go back to you giving up. It's an excellent decision. I'll tell your mom.
- Coach P used to do that to me. - What?
Reverse psychology.
(CHUCKLES) You were right. I'm gonna go for it.
I wrote that on everybody's.
You don't have to do it anymore, I'm in. When do we start?
(HOPE SIGHS)
I don't know. Just be at the gym tomorrow morning.
Um, Coach P always used to drive me 'cause my mom works all the time.
(SIGHS) Oh, Jesus, how high maintenance are you?
You're funny. (LAUGHS) I'll be ready at 7:00 a.m., okay?
(SCOFFS) I'll pick you up at noon.
(RAP MUSIC PLAYING OVER CAR STEREO)
Bitch, I'm a boss-ass bitch
(HORN HONKING)
Bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch
I'm a boss-ass bitch
Bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch
Bitch, bitch, bitch, I'm a boss-ass bitch
I don't give a fuck about you ratchet-ass lames
You can suck a dick, I'm all about fame
Fuck a nigga, fuck a bitch, straight getting...
(MUSIC STOPS)
(DOOR SENSOR DINGING)
- Where is everyone? - Ben?
BEN: Hey, guys. MAGGIE: Hey, Ben. (CHUCKLES)
BEN: You guys get stuck in traffic or something?
(CLEARS THROAT) Uh, well, I know it's a little light,
but my dad promised Coach P
that we'd keep Maggie's training sessions private so she could focus.
Um, I'm gonna go change, okay?
(CHUCKLES)
So, uh, should we get started?
Got it covered. Feel free to hang around and look pretty.
Oh. (CHUCKLES)
(COUGHS) Wow.
Uh, well, I have to... I have to be here, anyway.
Uh, managing the place while my dad's out of town, so...
All right, fine. Here's the deal, Twitchy.
- I'm the pilot, you're the... - Co-pilot. Got it.
I was gonna say stewardess.
Oh. (CHUCKLES)
I'm sure you're aware someone from the US Team Committee's
coming here to check on Maggie's progress.
She's their golden child. They love her.
Yeah, she's gonna do a bang-up job at trials.
- HOPE: When are trials? - Uh, we're eight weeks out.
As long as Maggie just does Maggie, we're gonna be good.
Bam! (CHUCKLES)
- HOPE: Excuse me. - (MAGGIE PANTS)
Did I say to do that? Huh? I didn't realize how undisciplined you are.
Shucks, sorry. I usually do that better. (CHUCKLES)
"Shucks"? Why don't you curse normal?
Cursing hurts God's heart.
So does being a showoff.
Um, sorry. I was just really excited to get back, you know.
Um, I want the all-around gold,
- but bars are my specialty. - HOPE: Gold?
Did she just say "gold"?
Get that ego in check.
You're not a specialist until I say you are.
Now, what needs to be the strongest for you to be a champion?
- My body. - (BUZZES) Wrong.
- My endurance. - (BUZZES)
- My... - (BUZZES TWICE)
- My mental constitution? - (BUZZES THREE TIMES)
- Your mind. - But I said my mental...
Shut up and lie on the floor. Wipe that smile off your face.
Now, close your eyes.
Are we praying? I love that. Let's hold hands.
Ew, get the fuck off. (SIGHS)
Close your fucking eyes.
Now, I want you to visualize your routine in your mind.
- Which one? - All of them. Just do it.
- And then am I gonna perform them for you? - Are you the coach, or am I?
Shut your cockhole.
- My what? - Don't worry about it.
Buzz off, Twitchy. I feel you trying to get a gap shot.
(STUTTERS) Nope.
♪ ♪
Hey, can we work on my beam routine when we get to the gym?
It's my fave, and I've been telling my mom how excited I am to show you.
Whoa! Stop telling your mom our business.
Whatever happens at the gym or my car or wherever we are together
stays at the gym or my car or wherever we are together.
Really? (SPITS)
- Coach P was not like... - Hey!
You crap on this town, I crap on you.
And, yes, really. I'm not running home and telling my dad
- every time you get camel toe. - What's camel toe?
Just a pro term for sticking a landing.
Here you go.
(CHUCKLES) Thank you.
This is a joke, right?
Michael Phelps eats 12,000 calories a day.
Coach P's diet has 500. Who's a better role model?
A guy with 22 medals? Or a chubby Russian taking a dirt nap?
But aren't guy swimmers different than girl gymnasts?
Casey B. Anthony told us that men and women are equal.
You mean Susan B. Anthony, right?
Both of 'em.
Maggie, if you trust me, you will eat this food.
- (SNIFFING) - Open your mouth and put it in.
(DOOR BELLS JINGLE)
DORIS: Hey, (CHUCKLES) there's my favorite Sandstoner.
HOPE: Who's that?
(CHUCKLES)
- You fuck him? - No. (CHUCKLES)
No, of course not. No.
- Finger fuck? - No.
Have you even kissed a boy yet?
Coach P's no-boy rule, huh?
I have the opposite rule.
- Come on. Come on. - Mmm-mmm.
- Get the fuck up. Get the fuck up. - No. Mmm-mmm. Mmm-mmm.
Get the fuck up, I'll rip your pubes out.
(SIGHS)
- Hey. - Hi.
I'm gonna cut through the bullshit. You two need to hook up.
Nothing major yet. Just rub your privates on each other
- like you're starting a forest crotch fire. - (CHUCKLES) Oh, gosh.
- (CHUCKLES) Privates. - (GIGGLES)
Give him your number, give him your number.
- Okay. - (CHUCKLES)
- He's a little slow, huh? - Mmm-hmm. (GIGGLES)
- All right, done. You're welcome. Come on. - Bye-bye.
Eat.
Take a bite of that.
Your body metabolizes the proteins. You become a champion.
- It's so good. - It goes down better with Avril.
(POP ROCK SONG PLAYING)
Try to tell me what I shouldn't do
You should know by now
I won't listen to you
Walk around with my hands
Up in the air, 'cause I don't care
Care...
Morning, sunshine. Making yourself a health shake?
It's for Maggie. Today's an important day. The coordinator's coming by.
She needs to be on her A-game.
Good for you, sweetie.
(ENGINE STARTS)
(TRUCK DRIVES OFF)
- (GASPS) Are we gonna be late? - Relax.
(MAGGIE SIGHS)
- What's up? - (GASPS) What are you doing here?
What is he doing here?
Bad news, sugar tits. Gotta get used to a crowd.
I want that down the hatch before we get to the gym.
(RAP MUSIC PLAYING OVER CAR STEREO)
In the club with my mink on
Chain hanging long like I'm motherfucking King Kong
You can find me in the club with my mink on
With my mink on, with my mink on
- Hey, Hope. - (MUSIC STOPS)
What happened to 8:00 a.m.? The coordinator is here
and he's kind of pissed 'cause he's been waiting for an hour.
(SCOFFS) It's 9:00. There's a grace period.
Okay. Sure.
Hey, there, Maggie.
Is everything okay?
She's a little nervous and all that. Come on, Maggie.
- Yeah, she's just practicing the visualization. - There she is.
- Come on. - Oh. (CHUCKLES)
- Hey. - Uh...
- Moral support. Let's go. - Hi, there.
LANCE: Dude, I'm tired of fucking whey protein.
Just get the beef one like I told you. It's called Carnivore.
He's back there in the office.
All right, call me later.
Look who I found.
Well, well, well. Hope Ann Greggory.
You're an hour and three minutes late.
What the fuck are you doing here, Lance Tucker?
Oh, you guys know each other.
Team coordinator.
(SCOFFS) They offered me that job. I said, "Fuck, no."
- That's bullshit. - Your face is bullshit.
Uh...
Something looks different about you. Oh. (CHUCKLES)
I know. You got old.
Your limp dick disease must be affecting your eye vision.
Okay. (CHUCKLES)
Hope, uh, what's Maggie's first event? I'll set it up.
- Bars. - Gotcha.
Hey, water boy, I can't drink that bottle of piss you gave me.
Here's five bucks.
Why don't you get me a Fiji, or something pH balanced?
And if you're lucky, I'll let you taste my nuts.
Hope's tasted my nuts before, right?
Do not get that water, Twitchy.
(COUGHS)
- Are you winking at me? - No.
What, are we flirting right now? What's happening?
Hey! Don't make fun of people with deformity problems.
I'm actually not deformed. Um, but it's not a problem.
I'll go get the water, pH balanced, for men.
(CHUCKLES)
- (GRUNTS) Boost me. - Maggie, no, I can't do that.
Fine. Then a rocket ship will take me.
(IMITATES ROCKET)
(GROANS)
(IMITATES ROCKET) Ooh!
Whee!
Do you see me, Hope?
Oh!
(GIGGLING)
(MIMICKING APE)
(SIGHS) Thanks, Maggie. I think I've seen enough.
(GRUNTS)
- I think my camel toe's a little off. - Excuse me?
- She's a bit of a perv. - Oh!
- Hope, office. Now. - Office, now, Hope!
Wow. Horrible, right?
I did my best, but obviously, Maggie's campaign is over.
Will you be informing the media or should I?
What the fuck have you done?
That girl didn't miss a beat all year. She was a potential team anchor.
Clearly, that would be a terrible idea.
No, clearly you've managed to fuck her up in just six weeks of working with her.
What has she been eating? The kid's got a beer gut.
HOPE: She was busted when I got her.
Pavleck's suicide fucked her up. I had nothing to do with it.
LANCE: No, you're right. You've done enough.
I'm gonna take it over from here.
I know what that girl is capable of, and her run to Toronto isn't over.
Yours is.
No, you can't do that!
I gotta make some calls, Greggory. I'll BRB.
Yeah, well, I gotta make some calls, too, Tucker.
I'm gonna talk to your mom. I got you.
MAGGIE: Okay.
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
- Hello? - HOPE: Hey, it's me.
Guess who the new team coordinator is.
- Lance "The Fucker" Tucker. - Who?
The guy who popped my cherry.
Oh, don't give him that power, honey.
Remember, you're a gymnast and your hymen broke without the help of a man.
(SIGHS) Fine. The one who was the first to fuck me.
He said he's gonna take Maggie away from me
'cause the little cunt blew her routine.
No. What? Why did she blow her routine?
Because she sucks! I gotta ask you something.
If someone takes over coaching for me, I'll still get my money, right?
No. When I spoke to the will trustee last week, he was very clear.
He said you, and only you, must coach her
until she's done with her campaign if you want the inheritance.
Shit.
Well, (SIGHS) what percent of my money will I get for my work until now?
Do you remember our math sessions when we did percentages?
Yes. How much frickin' money?
- (SIGHS) 0%. - Shit. How sure are you?
100%.
- 0% is how much money? - Nothing.
Fuck me!
What are you doing?
Visualizing a gold medal made of pizza.
I got it, I got it.
I went to five different stores, but I got it.
Where the fuck is Lance?
He's not here?
Lance said he was gonna go talk to my mommy.
Get up. Get your bloated pussy in the car!
BEN: Are you gonna see Lance? Do you want to give him the water?
- Gymnastics has been my life. - Yeah. It's ours.
And when I saw raw talent like that,
- I believed... - (HORN HONKS)
- (TIRES SCREECHING) - Jesus. Is that safe?
- Mom! - Oh, Maggie. Hi, hon. Oh, wow.
Oh, my gosh, are you okay?
Mr. Tucker says you didn't have the best routine
and that you've been acting silly and eating bad snacks. (CHUCKLES)
- That doesn't sound like you. - I just had a little taste.
Mr. Tucker thinks that Maggie would be better off training with him.
- I do. - Wait, what?
Well, Mr. Tucker is wrong.
- I want what's best for my little girl. - I agree.
Lance Tucker is not what's best for her.
I am a gold and silver medalist.
And with all due respect, and there's very little due,
Hope is a bronze medalist.
First of all, it's men's gymnastics, which, come on, no one gives a crap about.
Second, I medaled for all of America. I'm the poster child for miracles.
Please, everybody knows that after your Achilles, it was game over.
And insult to injury, you got your boobs, which threw your balance off.
All false. Does it look like I got boobs?
I just didn't want to, I had other things to do.
Well, name one.
Why would I name one when I can name a million?
- Guys. Please, I'm sorry. I just... - (MAGGIE GROANS)
Maggie. Maggie, look at me.
You've met my girl, Christa Carpenter, at the World's, right?
Yeah.
Well, when the time is right, I'm gonna build her an empire all around her brand.
I Ka-roll-yi like Bela. I'm her agent, her publicist, her coach.
I'm her cook. I am the pillow that she sleeps on at night.
Gold. That is what I'm talking about.
You just gotta say yes. What do you say?
To the top.
Hope's my friend.
And I already lost one coach. Please don't take her from me, too. Don't.
If you let Hope train Maggie,
you'll be throwing your daughter's career out the window.
I promise you that won't be the case.
(CHUCKLES) Ah...
- I've heard that before. - HOPE: You know,
I lost my mother at a very young age.
- I was five-and-a-half months old. - Oh, I'm so sorry.
Really? (SCOFFS) This is... Very sad.
And I swear to you, on this mom,
to this mom, that we will get to Toronto.
Just let me initialize phase two of my plan.
(STUTTERS) I hear what you're saying. I have to go with my daughter.
(SCOFFS)
If that's what Maggie wants and you think you can do it.
- MAN: Hey, Janice, we need you back here. - Oh, frap.
Okay, I'm sorry. I have to go back to work.
- Go scrub them toilets, Mrs. T. - Uh... I will.
I'll do that, okay.
- I love you, Mom. - I love you.
All right, let's go. Later, Tucker.
Yeah, hang on there one second. Uh...
- (CHUCKLES) - Maggie, go to the car.
You can put on my Avril Lavigne CD.
You know you don't have what it takes to coach her, right?
- You don't know me. You never have. - (CAR DOOR CLOSES)
- Really? - (MUSIC PLAYING IN CAR)
We all know you're gonna fail her like you failed yourself.
We were meant to be, supposed to be
But we lost it, we lost it...
Not only will she kill it at the trials, she'll kill it in Toronto.
We'll see.
(ENGINE STARTING)
(TIRES SCREECH)
- Uh-uh. No. Get out! - What?
No-boy rule. That's it. Get the fuck out.
(MAGGIE SIGHS)
You'll see her in six months. Absence makes the dick grow harder.
Maggie, get up here. Get up here, now.
Hope, I was just doing what you said. (SIGHS)
You better get ready to stop acting like a loser and start acting like a champion.
You better not have gotten any clitjizz on my car.
(TIRES SCREECH)
What's with you today, Bradley?
You're jittery. You're all over the place. Anything wrong?
- (DOOR OPENS) - Soon as I ask...
Hi, sweetie. How'd things work out?
Fine. Still her coach.
- What happened with that Lance? - (GROANS)
So many questions.
How would you like it if I came home and fired questions at you after a long day?
(MOCKING) "Ooh, hey, Stanny. How was your mail route?
"Anything happen when you drop off your letters?
"Ooh, ooh, did you jerk it in your truck to a Lane Bryant catalog?
"That must be fun."
I would actually like it if you asked me questions about my day once in a while.
Maybe not in that tone.
Fine, here's a question. Wake me up tomorrow at 6:00 a.m.
Well, Hopey, that's a statement.
Remember, questions begin with "what, why, when, how."
Like that. Do you remember?
What is the point of you busting my balls?
When will you realize that goldfish doesn't know you exist?
Why don't you stop being so fucking annoying?
And how about you wake me up tomorrow at 6:00 a.m.?
Bradley knows exactly who I am.
And I will wake you up, but only if you ask me nicely.
I am.
Just whatever I say or do, ignore it, and wake me up.
Roger that. Just like old times.
(SOFTLY) Hope, it's 6:00.
Rise and shine.
Go. You got five minutes.
Before 7:00? I'm sorry, have we met?
Early bird catches the sperm.
- Uh... - I got a fuck-ton of stuff to do.
And, um, I think you're ready to be promoted from stewardess.
- (CHUCKLES) Co-pilot? - Head stewardess.
Great, okay. Moving on up. (CHUCKLES)
Scale of one to 10,
- that was a... (BLOWS RASPBERRY) - Yeah.
When you're coming off your giant, your tuck is getting sloppy
and your legs are separating.
Unless you're catching spinning air dicks in there,
- I want you to keep 'em closed. - (LAUGHS)
Let me show you something.
Foot in there. Foot in there.
I've never done this.
All right. Again. Same thing.
Yep.
(MAGGIE GIGGLES)
HOPE: She's liking this bondage shit a little too much.
All right. Go again.
Stay tight!
Now that's fucking gymnastics.
Go again.
♪ ♪
When she woke up late in the morning light
And the day had just begun...
Shouldn't we be using my Tchaikovsky piece to practice?
- Fuck no, that shit's lame. - Coach P said it was a classic.
She'd also say that about a full bush, but we all know that's disgusting.
Let's go.
Five, six, seven, eight.
Crossback, crossback, circle, bend. Step, corner.
All that she wants is another baby...
(GRUNTS)
HOPE: Don't hesitate in your double pike, Maggie.
Trust that you're gonna have enough momentum.
Every part of you needs to be focused on the task at hand.
Crossback, circle, bend, step, corner.
Good.
- BEN: Oh! - There you go.
- (LAUGHS EXCITEDLY) Holla! - (BEN LAUGHS)
Gloats get kicked in the throats. Go.
Hey, good job, Coach.
Hope?
I'm really nervous about the trials.
Well, that's both rude and offensive,
considering I've been busting my ass for you. (SCOFFS)
Sorry, you're right.
You'll be fine.
I just wish my mom could be there.
You don't need your mommy.
I mean, for the Games, yeah, it's nice to have support.
But even my dad wasn't with me for the trials.
Plus, I'll be there with you, so people will already assume you're cool.
What do cool people do?
Um...
They have a secret handshake.
Does that mean we're gonna have a secret handshake?
Fuck yeah, we are.
The decision was decided by me earlier today.
(LAUGHS)
Do it. Go.
- No. - Do it.
(LAUGHING)
Bye.
(GIGGLES)
♪ ♪
ANNOUNCER: Congratulations to our Women's National Qualifiers.
In first place, Christa Carpenter.
Christa, how does it feel to be the champion?
Well, I just gotta thank God first.
Never do that. Always thank your coach first.
Fucking rookie.
I'm gonna call my mom, 'kay?
(SNIFFS) The smell of mothballs and Poligrip.
My grandma must be here.
Ah, nope. It's the elderly musk of Hope Ann Greggory.
What you're smelling, cheese dick, is victory.
- We medaled. - Yeah, third. Isn't that familiar?
So, uh, here's what's gonna happen, Granny.
Maggie's gonna come train with me and the rest of the team starting Monday.
- Not gonna happen, coordinator. - (SIGHS)
You don't follow Tuckersgold on Twitter?
I was just appointed Women's Team Head Coach yesterday,
so what I say goes.
And if Maggie doesn't train with my girls,
then there's no way she's gonna be a legit contender.
Bullshit.
I'm gonna cut her from the team if you don't comply, Hope.
She just placed in the top three.
If you cut her, you're gonna look like more of a moron than you already do.
Here's a warning. You don't want to fuck with me, Hope.
I'll fuck with whoever I want, whenever I want.
I'll fuck with them so hard, I'll rip their taints in half.
Then I'll wear one part of the taint in a locket around my neck,
give the other half of the taint locket to your mom to shove up her ass.
Pretty soon after, at the whorehouse she whores around at,
someone will say to her, "Hey, hey, Mrs. Tucker,
"what's that shiny little object coming out of your crack?"
And she'll be like, "Oh, this ass jewelry? Just spit-shined it up.
"Hope Ann Greggory gave me that as a reminder that my son's a fucking loser."
Maggie trains with me. See you in Toronto.
No! No!
Fuck! Fuck me, I suck! Fuck!
- Time out, time out. Stand right there. - (SIGHING)
First of all, it makes me so proud to hear you curse normal.
Second, quit being so hard on yourself. All right? That's my job.
I want to shift gears.
I want to talk to you about your stage presence.
You need to amp that shit up for Toronto.
You're welcome in advance. I'm gonna show you how to be judge bait.
- Judge bait? - A trained monkey can do gymnastics.
Half of what we do out there is personality. Sit, watch, learn.
When you hit this move,
your face needs to be having as much fun as your body.
This move is all about sass.
Now we're bouncing, we're bouncing. I've never had this much fun bouncing.
(MAGGIE GIGGLING)
You think this is funny? This is some serious shit.
The judges are scoring me through the roof right now.
The camera's dry humping my every move. All right. Do it with me.
Come on.
I am so cute.
Cute to the right, cute to the left.
Nod, I'm cute. Nod, I'm cute.
- Nod, I'm cute. Nod, I'm cute. - Jesus, pull it back.
Sell it, don't advertise it.
Commercials, endorsements, a fuck-ton of free shit. Get up!
(MAGGIE LAUGHS)
Sell it to the bitch-ass judges.
Do it again. Go.
(PINS CLATTERING)
(SQUEALS)
(LAUGHING)
You guys, I got a spare!
(HOPE MUTTERS)
Very good.
You know, Coach P would take me here when I was doing good at the gym.
Does that mean I'm doing good at the gym, Hope?
I just wanted nachos.
- Can I just have one? - Sure.
(CHUCKLES)
If you want to spend your summer in fat camp
rather than earning the respect of the entire frickin' world.
What I thought.
Here.
Chomp on that while you smell my nachos.
Mmm.
Okay. Mmm-hmm.
- Yeah, that kind of works. Thank you. - Yeah.
(CHUCKLES)
- You can do it with anything that has a smell. - Oh, oh...
Can I go play on the claw machine? Please?
It's a free country.
(GIGGLES) Thank you.
Pretty strict diet.
(SCOFFS) That's nothing.
I once ate nothing but watermelon juice for a month.
I had to reteach my jaw how to chew.
(MACHINE CHIRPING)
- This machine is stupid. - MACHINE: Try again.
You guys, I can't do this. I'm really bad at this.
(HOPE SIGHS)
Here, let me do it. Move.
It's all in the wrist. There you go.
Oh, my gosh! That was so cool! You actually got it!
(GIGGLES) Oh, my gosh.
It's so cute. (CHUCKLES)
I can have it? Oh, thank you! Thank you so much!
(GIGGLES)
Ben, Ben, look what Hope got me!
Oh, wow.
That was very kind of you.
She was just setting herself up for failure. As per usual.
(CLEARS THROAT) Hey, uh, are you free tonight?
My schedule is insane. Also per usual.
Why?
Uh...
Would you want to grab dinner, maybe?
Um...
Yeah. I can probably push some things around.
Okay. (CHUCKLES) Good news.
HOPE: Mmm.
- I'll pick you up and everything. - Oh.
- I'm clear to drive even at night, so... - Really?
Yeah. This isn't an issue.
- You won't run us off the road? - (CHUCKLES)
- Not on my watch. - All right.
(CHUCKLES) That was a joke, so...
That's not a joke, that's actually real. I'm having a fit, I'm sorry.
- Hold on. - I'll look away.
- Have at it. Go ahead. - No, I'm fine. I'm good. Shit.
(DOOR OPENS)
Welcome home, sweetie. I made your favorite.
Chicken fingers with White Castle burger stuffing.
I won't be taking my dinner here tonight. I got a date.
That's fantastic.
You're gonna change out of your warm-up suit, right?
No. This is what I wear.
- This is what heroes wear. - That's true.
But you may want to, I don't know, mix it up a little?
Ew!
I'm not taking fashion advice from a guy who wears blue shorts for a living.
MAN: (ON TV) Your Honor, I have the sext right here on my phone.
Well, look at you.
- Have a good time tonight, honey. - Stop pressuring me!
Oh, hey, Hope. Wow, you look great.
Uh... I'm sorry, I was gonna come inside.
- Why? You need to take a leak? - (CHUCKLES)
Uh, no, no. I was just trying to be a gentleman.
- Oh. - Oh.
Uh, so, uh, I know that your two favorite places to eat
are the diner and, uh, the food court.
But, you know, since we've been to the diner a lot,
I figured that maybe I'd take you to the mall.
Mmm, it's Sunday. The mall closes at 6:00.
Oh, well, don't you worry about that.
- Why are you being weird? - Sorry if I was weird.
All right, well, just step on it.
I feel my dad watching from the window with stuffing in his mouth.
- BEN: All right. - (TURNS OFF ENGINE)
- Okay. Let's go. - Oh, Jesus!
Ah. (LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)
- What are you doing? - Isn't that what this is about?
- You want to fuck a gymnast? - Uh, no.
- Uh... - Oh.
Why?
I'm waiting for marriage.
Just how I was raised. That's all.
Uh, but, uh, here.
(GRUNTS)
Uh...
Yeah. So, grab one of those.
(LAUGHS)
BEN: Yeah.
- BEN: Ta-da! - Weird being in here at night.
Yeah. Any table you like.
HOPE: Oh.
A little picnic. (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
- Knock yourself out, bro. - Thanks.
- Hi, Hope. - Hi, John.
Hey, Johnny.
What's that smell?
(GROANS)
Is something wrong with the candle?
No, it's weird that they'd make a candle out of apples, like...
I thought apple was safe.
I mean, I haven't met a single person that doesn't like apples.
A lot of people don't like apples.
- Sorry... (STUTTERS) - No, no, no. It's fine.
All right. I got a couple beers here. Let me...
(BOTTLE OPENS)
Want to cheers it?
- Oh. - There you go.
Sorry, I should have thought of some entertainment or something.
No, it's...
Do you, um...
Do you want to play Truth or Dare?
Yeah, sure. Okay. (CHUCKLES)
Truth or dare?
Uh, what the heck, I'm feeling crazy tonight. Dare. Dare me.
Steal me a punch card from Steak USA.
- Seriously? - Yeah.
Yeah.
Kind of have to do it now. That's how it works.
Yeah. Yeah, here we go. Dare time. (CHUCKLES) Watch out.
(GRUNTS)
(BEN SIGHS)
- Found 'em! - Punch 'em all out so I get a free steak.
Yeah, sure.
(PUNCHER CLICKING)
Jesus. (EXHALING)
There you go. I'm shaking.
That's like the worst thing you've ever done, right?
I mean, yeah. That's bad.
I mean, that's, uh... That's theft. I don't do that.
Sorry. I should probably not... Chip my tooth.
So, my turn then to ask you?
- Uh, well, truth or dare? - Dare.
I dare you to answer the truth. (CHUCKLES)
- Fine. - Okay. Um...
What's the deal with you and Coach P?
'Cause I know when... Before, you guys were real tight.
- We were. Till she screwed me. - How's that?
After my injury, I wanted to compete in the next Games.
The doctor said I needed a few more months to recover,
but I didn't want to get rusty.
So, my dad went and begged Coach P to let me come back.
- And was she okay with that? - No.
But it wasn't her fucking future on the line, it was mine.
Right, yeah, I get that.
Couple weeks later, I'm doing a dismount off the bars.
Hit the floor again.
The doctors say six months more rehab, but they're wrong. It's 12.
- Oh, geez, that's terrible. - Is this lettuce?
You don't like lettuce?
I mean, I'm surprised they don't have a candle made out of that. (CHUCKLES)
Lettuce candle? (CHUCKLING)
Hope Greggory.
(CHUCKLES)
Anyway, when I came back,
Coach P pulls me aside and says I should leave on a high note.
That I'd become a woman during my break, and gymnastics was a little girl's game.
I mean, what'd you say?
- I told her to fuck off and I left. - (SCOFFS)
Did you talk to her after that, or...
I've answered, like, 900 truths.
Sorry. (CHUCKLES)
- And it's not okay. - I've been a real gumshoe over here.
Yeah.
And where were you the night of the... Yeah.
- What? - Sorry.
It's like I was pretending to be a detective or something.
(ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING)
Uh, that's, uh...
This music was supposed to come on when the candles were...
It's fine now. Thanks, John!
Actually... (CLEARS THROAT)
Uh...
I was hoping maybe, uh,
you would want to have a dance with me, Hope Ann.
You're not waiting for marriage?
Nope. Not for dancing.
In fact, I will lead.
- All right. One more bite. - Okay.
And is there room for one more...
Huh. It's... Yeah.
'Cause I got a woman Who I need to get next to...
Truth or dare?
Truth. I've had enough dares for tonight. (CHUCKLES)
Have you ever tried to stop twitching? No offense, just curious.
It's a lot better than what it was.
But, uh, I mean, nothing's ever worked completely.
It's kind of why I never moved forward with gymnastics.
A few seconds of twitching can really mess you up on the rings.
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
Gymnasts, you somehow master every single muscle in your body.
Probably why I like being around it so much.
Kind of makes me feel that that physical control is possible somehow.
I think it'd be pretty cool if I could inspire other kids to feel like that, too.
That's kind of why I want to keep the gym going.
- It's sorta my dream. (CHUCKLES) - Oh.
I'm just hoping that Maggie can breathe new life into it
the same way you did when you were training there.
Cool.
- Anyway, we should be dancing like this. - Right.
Whoa, whoa-oh, oh-oh
Whoa, oh, oh-oh-oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
- Giving you a semi? - Uh...
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
Ah, ah, ah
(BELL TOLLING)
So, um...
We leave for the Games in a few days.
Keeping Maggie presentation ready.
She's sucking less than she did. (CHUCKLES)
Wish us luck, okay?
One for my homey.
Don't worry, it's diet.
No, it's not. I'm not gonna lie to a ghost. Definitely not diet.
Shit's disgusting.
All right, you got this. Let's call it a night. Go on, go catch some fireworks.
Don't stay out too late, we have an early flight.
Can I do it one more time?
Just stand here and I'm gonna do it one more time, okay?
Make it quick.
Turn the fucking lights back on! I'm not gonna French you!
- Maggie! - One sec!
ALL: Surprise!
Happy birthday!
(LAUGHS) Gotcha!
- We got you! - (ALL LAUGHING)
STAN: Okay, now, remember, Hope,
before I ever let you have a piece of birthday cake,
I always gave you a Fourth of July quiz.
Oh, yeah.
All right, okay, I'll give you an easy one.
Who did our forefathers declare their independence from?
- Their pussy dads. - (AWKWARD LAUGHTER, MURMURING)
Good one. Um...
Well, we're so grateful for you, Hope. I mean, you've been an angel.
- That's what I keep telling her. - Don't be a poser.
Well, pretty soon, you two are gonna be posing for the opening ceremony!
- Pretty exciting! - Yeah.
And it kills me that I'm not gonna be there, you know.
But I talked to my boss, and I'm gonna be in time for the Individuals.
Well, that's terrific!
That's all I care about.
- BEN: That's great. - All right.
(FIREWORKS POPPING AND WHISTLING)
(KIDS CHATTERING EXCITEDLY IN DISTANCE)
HOPE: Truth or truth? BEN: Truth.
You like me?
I do. Very much.
(BEN CLEARS THROAT)
- Uh, okay. My turn. Uh, truth or truth? - Truth.
But you can't ask me the same question. Them the rules, Twitchy.
Did you always know that you were gonna be such a good coach?
I'm not a coach, I'm an athlete. Dumb question.
- Ask me another. - Sorry. Um...
(CHUCKLES)
Is it true that, uh... (CLEARS THROAT)
That you tape down your breasts?
Who told you that?
- Matt from Sneaker Galaxy? - No, no.
- Carl from the bar? - No.
- Gas station Dan? - No.
- The Roto-Rooter guy? - No.
- Stacy from Quiznos? - Jesus, no, God, stop. (CHUCKLES)
(STAMMERS) That's a list. No. Uh...
I just... I brought it up 'cause, uh, I just wanted to tell you that
I think that you're super beautiful the way you are.
And you don't need to do that.
You should be proud of yourself.
(FIREWORKS CONTINUE POPPING IN DISTANCE)
You look like a windswept phoenix.
Okay. You ready for a dare?
Sure.
All right, close your eyes.
- Close 'em. Don't be scared. - (CHUCKLES) All right.
Okay.
(BOTH LAUGHING)
Okay. Uh...
- Oh. - Oh.
- You can't do that. - I did.
- (FIREWORKS CONTINUE POPPING) - (CROWD OOHING IN DISTANCE)
(O, CANADA PLAYING)
♪ ♪
O, Canada
Where pines and maples grow...
MAGGIE: Wow!
Welcome to the big time.
Take a look around you. Chinese,
Japanese, Russian Soviets, Romaniacs.
- What do they all have in common? - They all support gymnasts!
No. We've waged wars against all of them.
- We have? - And who's won all those wars?
- Well, I guess it would depend on the war. - (BUZZES)
(CHANTING) USA. USA.
- Chant that! USA! - USA!
USA! USA!
ALL: (CHANTING) USA! USA!
(MUSIC PLAYING)
You want a...
You want a hot body?
You want a Bugatti?
You want a Maserati?
You better work, bitch
Now get to work, bitch
(CROWD CHEERING)
Ahh
Now get to work, bitch
Champion
Work it hard like it's your profession
Watch out now
'Cause here it comes
Here comes the smasher
Here comes the master
Pick up what I'm putting down
You want a hot body?
You want a Bugatti?
You better work, bitch
Now get to work, bitch
Ahh
Now get to work, bitch
Spread the word
Go call the police
Go call the governor
I bring the treble
Don't mean to trouble ya
I make the governor
Call me the governor
I am the bad bitch
The bitch that you'll never know
Break it off, break it down
(CROWD CHEERING)
HEATH: Painting the picture, I'm sensing there's a podium in the future
for Mighty Maggie, Olga.
OLGA: What is truly remarkable is all that she's had to overcome
following the tragic loss of her longtime coach, Eleyna Pavleck.
I think Coach P would be super proud of you.
We make a good team, co-pilot.
- Did I just get promoted? (CHUCKLES) - Don't get cocky.
(LAUGHS)
Oh.
You gotta a little, uh...
Sorry, I didn't ask permission. I know how you hate that mushy stuff.
It's not that.
I still don't get why the Commie killed herself.
Sometimes I think if, um...
If I'd just done things differently, maybe she'd still be alive.
Oh, no, come on, Hope, it's got nothing to do with you.
Then why?
(SIGHS) Honestly, I think it was 'cause of her drinking.
I mean, she'd really throw 'em back there. That, and she was flat broke.
I mean, her house was being foreclosed on. I mean, she was in a ton of debt.
Didn't she co-own the gym with your dad? Where'd that money go?
Oh, uh... (SIGHS) I didn't want to distract you with this,
- but, uh, the gym's pretty much going under. - What?
So, Coach P had no money, like, stashed somewhere?
- Like, $500,000, maybe? - (CHUCKLES)
- Hope, that's like half a million dollars. - I know.
Well, my dad said that she was actually in debt to the government.
She had nothing.
Bradley, I'd let you swim in the pool, but I think the chlorine content's too high.
(BANGING ON DOOR)
Hi, honey. We were just going for a swim.
What the fuck is going on? You need to call that will trustee guy now!
Ben just said that Coach P was flat broke!
He's wrong, right? She must have had some money
in, like, some offshore Florida accounts, or some shit!
Well, honey, it's after 5:00. I doubt he's there now.
Call him anyway!
What's his name?
Hope,
there's something I need to talk to you about. Can you sit down?
I don't want to sit down. What?
(SIGHS)
There is no money, Hope.
What the fuck are you talking about?
I wrote the suicide note.
You killed Coach P?
No.
No, I wrote the letter after I heard that Coach P had killed herself.
(PANTING)
You are a sick fucking man.
I just didn't know what else to do with you!
It was my one shot to get you to do something with your life.
For you to be happy again, and for me to get my sweet little girl back.
Do something with my life? How about I'm a national fucking hero!
Yes. You were.
I am! You are nothing!
You are a bitch! Now shut your mouth before I shut it for you!
(SIGHS) Hope.
You got injured.
You had a dream to get back out there that your body couldn't handle.
It was brutal to have your time cut short, and (STUTTERS) it broke you.
And it broke my heart.
(SIGHS) But someone had to tear down those walls
that you put up before it was too late.
I'd say I was sorry, but I'm not.
'Cause for the first time in years, I've seen glimpses of the old Hope,
and she's wonderful.
You're so good at coaching.
I think you even like it.
I was doing it for the money.
I don't believe that's still true.
Let me get this straight.
I take months out of my life,
teach this wannabe everything I know,
so that everyone in Amherst can forget about me.
For nothing.
Great job, Dad.
You really made my life so much better.
♪ ♪
(SLURPING)
HEATH: (ON TV) Let's go down on the floor right now
with Awesome Dawes-on.
- BARTENDER: Want another? - What can we expect in
the Women's Finals tomorrow, Dominique?
Well, both Christa Carpenter and Mighty Maggie
have a legitimate shot at winning an individual gold medal.
It could come down to their final event, which is the floor exercise.
(SIGHS)
Your girl is doing good.
Your little demon is, too.
Hey, if Maggie medals, who knows?
You might have a future on the US Team coaching staff.
Great.
I see you got your dream killers on display tonight.
(CHUCKLES) You look good.
(SIGHS)
You got nice cans.
White Russian? Really?
Two tequilas.
HOPE: I don't know why you make me so uncomfortable, Lance.
(GLASSES CLINK)
(BOTH GRUNTING)
(GROANS)
♪ ♪
(LANCE PANTING)
Okay, okay
He's got my number and...
(EXHALES)
Gimme that gold.
(GRUNTS)
Here I am
Either you make the time
Or just forget me
(BOTH GRUNT)
I'm not, I'm not
Trying to run your life
(MOANING)
That's why, that's why
I'm nobody's wife
But when I want, when I want it
You gotta be ready...
Pommel horse gold.
- (GRUNTS) - (MOANS)
I don't want it all the time...
- Is that all you got, Tucker? - I got so much for you, baby.
(GRUNTS)
I better be satisfied
So give it to me right
Or don't give it to me at all
I don't think you understand
How real it is for me to find a man
Who thinks he can
So give it to me right
Or don't give it to me at all
Yeah, yeah
Give it to me right
(GRUNTS)
Yeah, yeah
Give it to me right
Yeah, yeah
Give it to me right
♪ ♪
Don't sway your back. That's better.
BEN: Hey there, Maggie.
Oh, hey, Ben.
- I got you some tape in case you need it. - Oh, thank you.
BEN: All right. Good luck out there. MAGGIE: Thanks. (CHUCKLES)
Hey.
I thought I was the one that showed up everywhere late.
(SNIFFS) Yeah, well, I didn't get too much sleep last night.
Why?
Afraid the cops are after you for stealing that punch card?
No. I, uh...
I swung by your room last night. I saw that you had company.
That's weird. You sure you had the right room?
- 'Cause I was in there... - Drop the act, Hope.
I saw you there.
Look, I'll stick around for Maggie, but, uh, we're done.
(SIGHS)
Twitchy, I...
Oh, man, you look as tired as I feel.
Boned ol' Greggory last night.
Stay the fuck away from him, Lance.
Oh, shit.
I'm sorry. I didn't know you two were a thing.
- We're not. - Good.
Because she was a bad lay in '04 as she was last night.
You're pathetic, Lance.
(CHUCKLES)
You're a fucking joke. Yeah.
I hope he was worth it.
(WHISPERS) Fuck.
Why do you try to ruin everything that's good in my life?
Really, Lance, what the hell did I ever do to you?
All of America talking about your fucking bronze.
Third place.
I won gold and silver.
And everyone's got a hard-on for Hope's miracle.
Well, because of you, I'm never gonna get that moment back.
And I will damn well make sure you don't either.
I had no control over what people talked about.
Take that up with the god of gymnastics.
I am the fucking god of gymnastics!
You're talking to fucking Zeus. I made my own destiny.
And not on milking some pity vote for fame and glory over one lucky accident.
But by consistency of excellence.
You think you're gonna show me up again?
Hell fucking no.
And pretty soon, that beat-up nostalgia train you've been riding since 2004
is gonna come to a pathetic and useless halt.
(SNIFFS) Ah...
Can't fucking wait.
LANCE: I want you to know I talked to your mom.
I'm watching out for you. Okay.
Looking hot, Maggie. I like that stretch. Don't forget that other leg.
DAWES: So, Coach, Maggie's heading into her final signature event.
And although it's a tight race,
it appears as if a spot on the podium is Maggie's to lose.
Yep.
Well, it was 12 years ago when you yourself were here.
Both of you from the same small town,
it looks as if Amherst, Ohio, will have a new hometown hero.
How do you feel about sharing that legacy?
Coach?
(SCOFFS)
We shared a few things, right, Dominique? Right?
Like that, uh, Brazilian javelin thrower? (CHUCKLES)
He knew how to throw a javelin. (CHUCKLES)
- Um... (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) - You were an animal that night.
(TONE BEEPS)
♪ ♪
(INDISTINCT ANNOUNCEMENTS)
(RINGTONE PLAYING)
- Hi. - Yeah, hi, Hope.
I'm up at the top in a box.
I think I saw Maggie looking for me earlier.
Can you just... (INHALES SHARPLY)
Can you tell her that I'm here, I'm cheering, and I am so, so proud of her?
Yep.
Yeah... Oh.
Maggie, your mom just called. She said she's here and she loves you.
What?
(CROWD CHEERING) Maggie! Maggie!
- (CHANTING) Maggie! Maggie! Maggie! - MAGGIE: Hope?
Hope, what did you say about my mom?
♪ ♪
(EXCITED CHATTER)
- Maggie! - Maggie!
Hope, what about my mom?
Your mom isn't here. Her plane crashed.
Wait, what?
She's with Coach P, taking the ol' dirt nap.
- What? - Welcome to the motherless daughter club.
(SOBS) No.
ANNOUNCER: Maggie Townsend.
HEATH: The gold medal is at stake now, with China's Han Li Chung
currently clinging to first place,
and Christa Carpenter of the United States narrowing second.
- (SOBS) No, please! - You have the rest of your life to cry.
No, I don't! Don't make me do it! Please!
HEATH: I'm looking forward to see what she brings to the stage right now, Nina.
NINA: As am I, Heath.
Maggie always brings such an incredible mix of grace and athleticism.
She is just joy to watch and...
- Oh, that's gonna be at least... - (MAGGIE SOBS)
...a three-tenths point deduction.
HEATH: You know, I talked to Coach Greggory earlier today
and she said that Maggie has a tendency to be a whiny vagina.
MAGGIE: Hope, what about my mom?
Your mom's here.
(CHUCKLES)
(LAUGHS) There's my baby! Hi, Maggie!
Look it! That's mine! She's my daughter!
(LAUGHS)
I'm not gonna be a janitor anymore! Maggie!
- She said she loves you. - ANNOUNCER: Now on the floor,
from the United States, Maggie Townsend.
- (CROWD CHEERING) - All right.
Spring from your toes, and trust you're gonna have enough momentum.
- Stop annoying me and, um, go for it. - (CHUCKLES)
- (CROWD CHEERING)
♪ ♪
(CROWD CHEERING)
(CAMERAS CLICKING)
- (AMPLIFIED HEARTBEAT) - (CROWD CHEERING)
- (LAUGHS)
Oh, my God.
CROWD: (CHANTING) USA! USA! USA!
MAN: Maggie!
♪ ♪
CROWD: (CHANTING) USA! USA! USA!
(MOUTHING)
(CHANTING CONTINUES)
(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)
REPORTER: Maggie! Maggie!
(CAMERAS CLICKING)
♪ ♪
- Hey, Doris. - Hey, Hope.
DORIS: I saw you coming across the street.
There you go. (CHUCKLES)
So, when's Miss Maggie coming back exactly?
She's still in Toronto doing press.
I heard the mayor's office is getting the parade together,
which'll be a hoot.
Oh, look. It's Mighty Maggie.
This is a dream, really.
And, you know, I was taught that this is a team effort
and to always credit my coach first.
So, this gold medal, I owe it to you, Hope Greggory. (CHUCKLES)
Thank you. Um...
(SIGHS) With that being said,
I have a responsibility to myself to take advantage of every opportunity
that being a global brand offers while training for my next victory.
I need someone in my corner that sees the big picture,
that has a vision for me.
Not just with my athletic talents, but for my entire career.
After many long discussions with my mom following my victory,
I have learned that it takes a gold medalist to understand one.
That's why my mom and I will be moving to Los Angeles, California,
and I will start training with my brand-new coach
and fellow gold medalist, Lance Tucker.
(LAUGHS)
(CAMERAS CLICKING OVER TV)
That fucking bitch.
(GIGGLES) Thank you. Thank you.
(DOOR OPENS, BELLS JINGLE)
(DOOR CLOSES)
- Hey. - Hey.
You hear about that ungrateful little bitch?
If you're referring to Maggie, uh, yeah. I heard she won't be coming back.
She didn't even say it to my face.
- Yeah. - I didn't see that coming.
(SIGHS) Yeah, I don't think we did.
Fuck her, right? Who needs her?
(SIGHS)
The gym did.
She was our last hope to keep this place going.
Bank's taking it on Monday, so...
I guess that'll give us some more time to hang out.
Really, Hope?
Grow up.
Just grow up.
(EXCITED CHATTER)
I am soaring right now.
Hey, isn't that other gymnast girl supposed to be signing pictures today?
- Why are you talking so much? - Yep.
Sorry, everybody, Mighty Maggie is a no-show!
JOHN: I'm very sorry. MAN: I came all the way from Akron!
(CROWD BOOING)
JOHN: I'm sorry, I'm very sorry! It's a no-show!
She will not be here today!
Breaks my heart, too! It really does.
Thank you very much.
♪ ♪
What are you doing?
HOPE: (OVER MIC) Check, check. MAN: Who's that?
(CROWD QUIETS)
Maggie Townsend.
Maggie Townsend, folks.
The butterfly has left the nest.
(LAUGHS)
I'm not gonna stand up here and pretend it doesn't hurt like fucking hell.
Sometimes we hurt people when we're balls deep in our own bullshit.
Sometimes it feels like we can't get out of that.
But it doesn't mean it's game over.
Throughout history, those who are truly great, have stepped up.
Just like all of you.
You give me a smile or a wave.
Or sometimes you break the celebrity boundary and come up to me,
tell me about where you were on the day I made this country proud.
There is a reason I call this town my home.
'Cause you fuckers remind me of who I am.
And who I can be.
♪ ♪
I am
Coach Hope.
(DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES)
Hi, sweetie.
- I heard about Maggie. I'm so sorry. - Yep.
Listen, I have a few things I need to attend to tomorrow morning.
Can I count on you to make me Bisquick?
Or will you write me a letter from my dead coach saying it'll happen,
and then it'll all be a lie?
I should have never betrayed your trust.
- And I never will again. - Yep.
- STAN: You want me to wake you? - Nope. Got it.
Thank you, Dad.
♪ ♪
- DORIS: All right, I'll be right back. - (CELL PHONE RINGING)
- BEN: Hello? - Twitchy, so glad you picked up.
- What? - Meet me at the gym in 20 minutes.
- There is no more gym. - No, I know.
Just meet me there and I promise I'll never ask you for anything again.
Please, Twitchy.
It's an emergency. Thank you.
All right, uniforms are mandatory, people. They are $50 each.
$100 with an autograph.
No refunds, no exchanges, and I don't have change,
so whatever extra you give me, I will keep as a donation.
Hang tight. It's just gonna be a few more minutes
and then we'll get inside and I'll show...
- Hi. - Hey.
HOPE: Great.
After you.
- About time. You're, like, 20 minutes late. - Yeah.
That's for you. All of it.
- Jesus. - Come on.
Uh, I need you to unlock the doors.
Okay, what's going on?
What's going on is you're being very unprofessional
by not unlocking the doors for all these nice people
who are here for gymnastics lessons.
Hope, I don't know what's happening.
All right. I've prepared a statement. Just wait right there.
"Yesterday at the mall, I instructed all these people to come here today.
"Point to all the people." Yeah...
So, that's...
- These are the people that have come. - I understand.
(SIGHS)
"So, this is where we met, at this gym years ago.
"Keeping it alive is my gift to you.
"And it won't suck for me either.
"I would like to say to you now that I am so sorry, co-pilot.
"When you win a medal the way that I did,
"you start to believe that nothing will be better than that feeling.
"But each moment I've had with you, it tops that, each and every time."
It's true.
"Hurting you was the most dumb-ass thing that I've ever done.
"Will you please forgive me?
"A-plus on spelling. Good luck, Hope. Love, Dad."
Fuck. That... That last sentence wasn't for you.
My dad spellchecked, but I wrote it all myself.
You can see that's in my handwriting, and then that's in my dad's handwriting, so...
- I believe you. - Uh, okay.
- You could have that. - Thank you. (CHUCKLES)
- Um... - (CLEARS THROAT)
Truth.
I am really, really sorry.
And I really, really like you.
(SNIFFS)
Well, yeah. I mean, it really, really sucked.
You really, really hurt me.
(SIGHS)
But also, uh, truth.
I've always really, really liked you.
And I really, really forgive you.
Good call, Ben.
That's the first time you called me "Ben." (CHUCKLES)
♪ ♪
Actually, uh, I prefer "Twitchy."
(GRUNTS AND CHUCKLES)
- That was a fake one. - Oh.
That was real.
Why, oh, why...
- BEN: Nope. - Please. Just a little.
- (KIDS LAUGHING) - HOPE: Why not?
Why did I ever leave Ohio?
Why did I wander To find what lies yonder
When life was so cozy at home?
Wondering while I wander
Why did I fly?
Why did I roam?
Oh, why, oh, why, oh Did I leave Ohio?
Maybe I'd better go
Home
HOPE: (RAPPING) First name, Hope Middle name, Annabelle
Third name, Greggory Last name, Bring 'em Hell
STAN: (ECHOES) Hope!
Hopey!
HOPE: Dad, get out of my room, I'm rapping.
Fuck you, fuck them, and fuck that
WOMAN: (RAPPING) I'm like, fuck you, fuck her, fuck them
Fuck a medal, I got Hope, Blonde money in
I'm like, fuck you, fuck her, fuck them
Fuck a medal, I got Hope Blonde money in
'Cause we don't wanna fuck with you
Making money, cashing out like I'm supposed to
We don't wanna fuck with you
LANCE: White Russian, really?
WOMAN: ...back bitch
HOPE: City of Ohio, State of Amherst
When I was just a baby, lost my mother to a hearse
LANCE: Excuse me?
HOPE: Fuck you, fuck them, and fuck that
If I said it then, I said it, I ain't taking it back
Fuck you, fuck them, and fuck that
Gotta lock it from your key that I stole from your crack
Dad's name is Stan, Post General wussy
His fish's name is Bradley and that fish is a pussy
Fuck you, fuck them, and fuck that
I be snorting... while you be smoking crack
WOMAN: (RAPPING) No one can stop her, 'cause she's a winner
HOPE: Yeah, I am WOMAN: Blonde hair, don't care, go-getter
Finger in the fist Fuck her in the pussy
Have her whistle like Ricky, I love Lucy
HOPE: Who's that? WOMAN: She like this one dude
And he's geeky
When he nervous, he starts twitching, call him Twitchy
HOPE: Deformity problem WOMAN: Finna soda... fuck you
Fuck you, yo, blow the pussy
And your... too (VOCALIZES)
I'm like, fuck you, fuck her, fuck them
Fuck a medal, I got Hope, Blonde money in
I'm like, fuck you, fuck her, fuck them
Fuck a medal, I got Hope Blonde money in
HOPE: Fuck that WOMAN: We don't wanna fuck with you
HOPE: No, you don't
WOMAN: Making money, cashing out like I'm supposed to
- We don't wanna fuck with you - HOPE: No, you don't
WOMAN: Making money, cashing out like we're supposed to
HOPE: On the high bar now, Perfect 10, perfect...
Doing Twitchy till he's sticky, then I do it again
Fuck what you've heard Believe what you see
Rocked the bronze so hard, you think I'm Avril Lavigne
I'm a boss-ass bitch Check the resume, son
I brought that bronze home, homie What the fuck have you done?
I'll wait Waiting
STAN: Hope, your grilled cheese is ready!
HOPE: If your dad wakes you up Let me give you advice
Knock that meal-bitch down So he doesn't ring twice
STAN: Hope Annabelle, let's de-escalate, shall we?
HOPE: Need a tight, hot mama with a brand new bag
Hardly ever get my flow, so I'm not on the rag
F-U-C-K-Y-O-U
I'm a boss-bitch
WOMAN: Thought you knew
I'm like, fuck you, fuck her, fuck them
Fuck a medal, I got Hope, Blonde money in
I'm like, fuck you, fuck her, fuck them
Fuck a medal, I got Hope Blonde money in
- 'Cause we don't wanna fuck with you - HOPE: No
WOMAN: Making money, cashing out like I'm supposed to
- We don't wanna fuck with you - HOPE: You got Fanta?
(INDISTINCT)
Everybody in the mall know my name
- HOPE: It's Hope Ann - (INDISTINCT)
(INDISTINCT)
- Awesome boss bitch music - HOPE: Mission accomplished
WOMAN: ...give a fuck how you feel
If it ain't about me, then you get no chill
Try to take my place...
You can never be me, 'cause I'm a real one
Second to none I'm always number one
Hope Ann Greggory will get the job done
HOPE: And she's fucking awesome
WOMAN: Second to none I'm always number one
Hope Ann Greggory will get the job done
HOPE: I'm a fucking role model. That's a shit ton of pressure.
LANCE: That's bullshit.
HOPE: My whole life is lived on a microscope.
LANCE: You got nice cans.
HOPE: Suck it!
I'm Hope Ann Greggory, motherfuckers
You don't wanna fuck with that.
It's Hope Ann Greggory, y'all.
You try doing that with a torn Achilles.
Word up.
♪ ♪