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Subtitles by sub.Trader
subscene.com
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So... I know what you're thinking.
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Why is that incredibly handsome hedgehog
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being chased by a mad man
with a mustache from the civil war?
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Gotta be honest, it feels like
I've been running my whole life.
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Is this too much? Am I going too fast?
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It's kinda what I do.
You know what? Let's back up.
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This is the island where I am from.
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It had everything: sandy beaches,
cascading waterfalls,
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public access to loop-de-loops.
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And I never had to catch a school bus
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because I can run across the entire island
in less than two seconds.
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Also, there was no school.
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I know, pretty sweet island, right?
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I was born with extraordinary powers,
and was told to keep them in secret.
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And like any kid, I did the exact opposite.
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That's Longclaw, she took care of me.
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She was basically Obi-Wan Kenobi,
if Obi-Wan Kenobi had a beak and ate mice.
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Sonic, someone could've seen you!
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No one saw me. I am too fast!
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And, I wanted to bring you this.
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Get down!
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Turns out with great power
comes great power-hungry bad guys.
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And I let them right to us.
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Listen carefully, Sonic.
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You have a power unlike anything
I've ever seen.
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And that means someone
will always want it.
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The only way to stay safe
is to stay hidden.
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This word is on the farthest side
of the universe. You should be safe there.
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-I don't wanna go without you!
-You must!
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These rings will be your most important
possession.
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If you ever discovered, use one.
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Never stop running. Now go!
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Longclaw!
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-Goodbye, Sonic.
-No!
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No!
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C'mon, one car?
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I'm bored.
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Tom, do you read me?
Are you there?
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No, Wade, I'm actually on a yacht
in Barbados
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with Rihanna.
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OMG. That's amazing, please send pics.
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No, Wade, I'm at the speed trap.
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Already? How did you get back so fast?
Barbados is in the ocean.
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Hang on, I think I got something.
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Hey, buddy, where's the fire?
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We've got kids living around here.
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It was kinda funny, sorry.
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What?
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Tom, we need you down on Main Street.
There's been a violent gang shoot-out.
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Just kidding, a dog stole a bagel.
But they do need it back.
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Buddy, you almost got yourself killed
out there.
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What are you, some kind
of an adrenaline junkie?
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Must be rough being slow all the time.
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I'll tell you what,
today is your lucky day.
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Have you ever felt so alive?
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This is great, you're doing amazing.
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Oh, jeez!
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Good recovery!
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Let's keep this our little secret, okay?
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You never saw me.
I was never here.
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So, what were you expecting?
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A dirty little hedgehog eating berries,
and struggling to survive?
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Think again, because I am living
my best life on Earth.
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I've got a library.
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A home gym.
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And a state of the art security system.
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Oh, no!
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And if I ever discovered,
I'll follow Longclaw's instructions,
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and use my rings
to escape to a new planet.
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A nice, safe little world
filled only with mushrooms.
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Gross, smelly mushrooms...
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I hate mushrooms.
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But let's not worry about all of that.
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This is Green Hills.
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The greatest place on Earth.
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These are my people, and there, I say,
I am their lovable space creature.
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So what if they don't know I exist?
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My favorite person is the Donut Lord.
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Protector of this town,
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and defender of all creatures,
big and small.
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Morning, Donald, Daisy, Daffy.
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Donut Lord lives with Pretzel Lady.
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She is super nice to animals,
and strangely was born without bones.
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There is one person in town
who's actually onto me.
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He calls me The Blue Devil.
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-I almost caught him last night.
-Say hello to Crazy Carl.
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We have fun together.
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I know you're out there!
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And I know you're real!
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No, I'm not.
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Movie night is my favorite.
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Please, please...
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Yes! Keanu, you are a national treasure.
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-When I find you--
-Pop quiz hot-shot.
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00:09:06,258 --> 00:09:07,765
There's a bomb on the bus.
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00:09:07,939 --> 00:09:11,146
Pop quiz hot-shot.
The classic line.
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00:09:11,839 --> 00:09:14,121
Basically, we're like a family,
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even though we haven't met yet.
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You don't think your prolonged isolation
is making you a bit crazy perhaps?
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Crazy? Me? No way, Doc.
You got me all wrong.
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And despite all these
so called friends of yours,
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deep down you are still rather lonely?
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Perhaps afraid you'll be alone forever?
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Hey! No, no...
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Get out of there! Come on!
Oh, come on! Get out of there!
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Get out of there, you trash pandas!
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Maddie, as Green Hills
most respected veterinary,
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what is the fastest way
to exterminate a racoon?
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Hi, Ozzy. Hello.
You're glad to see me?
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You don't eat garbage, do you?
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What's that?
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-Is that what I think it is?
-Open it.
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-It's kinda small, is that bad?
-Just... open it.
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Dear Thomas, we have reviewed
your application
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to the San Francisco Police Department,
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and pending inter departmental review
and background check.
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And we are happy to inform you that you
have been selected to join our team.
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Wow! Oh my God!
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San Francisco sucks?
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Wrong one.
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-You never had a doubt, huh?
-No!
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-I can't believe this!
-I know. You did it!
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What are those?
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Apartments for rent I found on Zillow.
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I though Ozzy and I
can fly there tomorrow,
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and check out some neighborhoods.
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I mean, this is all happening so fast.
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00:11:23,391 --> 00:11:28,149
Man, it's the craziest thing,
you apply for the job, you get the job.
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-Well, pending a background check.
-Oh, man,
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hope they don't find out about that time
you used the neighbor's WiFi.
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Correction, I'm still using
the neighbor's WiFi.
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But, Maddie...
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Are you sure you're okay with this?
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Thomas Michael Wachowski,
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what did you do the entire time
I was in a veterinary school?
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00:11:45,051 --> 00:11:47,040
I worked the second job
to pay the rent, and--
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00:11:47,153 --> 00:11:49,057
A third job to pay tuition.
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00:11:49,215 --> 00:11:53,258
You sacrificed for me,
I'm happy to sacrifice for you.
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00:11:54,185 --> 00:11:57,093
Babe, are you sure you're okay with this?
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00:11:57,869 --> 00:12:02,119
I mean, there's been a Wachowski
protecting this town for more than 50 years.
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This is a big change.
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I'm positive.
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00:12:08,186 --> 00:12:10,594
It's time for this guy to get out there
and prove himself.
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00:12:10,725 --> 00:12:12,582
I love Green Hills, but...
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You know, I wanna help people
in real trouble.
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00:12:15,388 --> 00:12:18,148
I want someone to turn to me
in a life-or-death situation,
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and I'll be there for them.
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-I get it. I'm so proud of you.
-Thank you.
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And so it is with a heavy heart,
that I tell you all
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that I've accepted a position
at the San Francisco Police Department
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effective immediately.
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It's gonna be tough to leave my home town,
and all my friendships.
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00:12:37,517 --> 00:12:40,311
But this is something
I feel like I need to do,
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to grow, as both an officer, and a man.
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What do you think, Sergeant Sprinkles?
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That wasn't so bad, right?
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00:12:54,897 --> 00:12:56,623
Now all I gotta do is...
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tell everyone who isn't a donut.
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00:13:01,361 --> 00:13:03,770
Whoa, the play-offs.
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So cool.
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We're at the ninth, tie score.
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And exactly who you want at the plate
with a game on the line, Sonic.
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00:13:59,779 --> 00:14:01,713
But staring him down
from the pitcher's mound
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is the most fearsome southpaw
in Green Hills, also Sonic.
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00:14:06,375 --> 00:14:07,660
Okay, focus, Sonic.
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00:14:07,815 --> 00:14:11,405
If you win this game you'll be
the most beloved kid in Green Hills.
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00:14:15,267 --> 00:14:18,945
Hit it to the guy in left,
he's a real space case.
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00:14:22,204 --> 00:14:23,816
I can't with that guy.
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00:14:24,005 --> 00:14:28,118
Hey, batter Sonic, hey, batter Sonic,
is so in batter Sonic.
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I got it, I got it...
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00:14:38,161 --> 00:14:39,677
I don't got it.
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Go home! Go home!
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00:14:50,839 --> 00:14:52,329
Come on!
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Safe!
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00:15:00,733 --> 00:15:03,214
Yes! Yes! I did it!
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00:15:03,355 --> 00:15:06,060
Did you see that? I did it! I did it.
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00:15:19,262 --> 00:15:21,285
I really am alone.
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All alone. Forever.
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I'm sure no one noticed
that giant blue explosion, right?
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00:16:12,484 --> 00:16:14,817
-Hey, Wade.
-Hi, Tom. Wade here.
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00:16:15,864 --> 00:16:17,537
What is going on?
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00:16:17,677 --> 00:16:20,065
-Oh Gosh, I think the power is out.
-Yap, dur.
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00:16:20,193 --> 00:16:22,712
The lights are out.
The whole town is freaking out.
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00:16:23,112 --> 00:16:24,805
-What should I do?
-Okay. Relax.
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00:16:24,931 --> 00:16:26,769
Take a deep breath, call Gil,
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00:16:26,895 --> 00:16:29,383
see if they can locate
the down line, then...
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00:16:29,874 --> 00:16:32,676
call Zim, and see if he can get
his generator over to the Super Cue
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00:16:32,815 --> 00:16:37,698
-so the food stays fresh.
-Call Zim before Gil?
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00:16:38,246 --> 00:16:40,659
-Call Gil-- Hello? Wait. Wait!
-I'll call you back.
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00:16:40,805 --> 00:16:43,344
Hello? Was that the end
of the instructions?
192
00:16:44,373 --> 00:16:47,034
Okay. All right. You can do this.
193
00:16:47,880 --> 00:16:51,093
What was the first thing he said to do?
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00:16:52,670 --> 00:16:54,729
Right. Relax.
195
00:17:15,040 --> 00:17:17,944
Twenty minutes ago an energy surge
knocked our power
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00:17:18,094 --> 00:17:20,663
across the entire Pacific Northwest.
What do we know?
197
00:17:20,862 --> 00:17:23,227
Our first instinct was it was an EMP.
198
00:17:23,998 --> 00:17:26,728
But electromagnetic pulses
don't have that kind of power.
199
00:17:26,910 --> 00:17:29,360
NASA has ruled out
meteor strikes or solar flares.
200
00:17:29,490 --> 00:17:32,433
The Department of Energy says
it's not a power plant malfunction.
201
00:17:32,537 --> 00:17:35,368
Sounds like we're really good
at figuring out what it wasn't.
202
00:17:35,496 --> 00:17:37,586
This could be a prelude
to a larger attack.
203
00:17:37,725 --> 00:17:40,943
I'm suggesting we scramble
the fifth and sixth regiment. - No, no...
204
00:17:41,099 --> 00:17:45,284
This needs a much more sophisticated mind.
Someone who understands technology.
205
00:17:45,441 --> 00:17:48,128
-You wanna send in a lab rat?
-Not just any lab rat.
206
00:17:48,293 --> 00:17:49,453
A lab rat with the teeth.
207
00:17:49,555 --> 00:17:51,971
You're not suggesting who I think
you're suggesting.
208
00:17:52,085 --> 00:17:53,995
-I know he's a little weird--
-Weird?
209
00:17:54,113 --> 00:17:56,576
-No, no. No way!
-He's a psychological terrifier.
210
00:17:56,701 --> 00:18:00,009
But he's also brilliant. Five PhDs.
IQ off the charts.
211
00:18:00,171 --> 00:18:02,797
And his drone tech is revolutionary.
212
00:18:02,951 --> 00:18:06,669
-You're sure he can handle this?
-He has a perfect operations record.
213
00:18:06,977 --> 00:18:08,880
-Remember the coup in Pakistan?
-No.
214
00:18:09,016 --> 00:18:11,741
-Or the uprising in Azerbaijanistan?
-It's not even a country.
215
00:18:11,873 --> 00:18:14,867
Exactly. And you can thank
Robotnik for that.
216
00:18:15,005 --> 00:18:18,268
I can't believe you're bringing
that freak into this.
217
00:18:18,521 --> 00:18:20,899
Neither can I, but...
218
00:18:21,199 --> 00:18:22,846
We have no choice.
219
00:18:30,890 --> 00:18:32,454
Guys, coming up!
220
00:18:33,916 --> 00:18:35,411
Yes, Major.
221
00:18:48,616 --> 00:18:49,693
What a--
222
00:19:11,207 --> 00:19:12,522
Are you in charge here?
223
00:19:12,644 --> 00:19:15,059
-Yes, I am.
-No. Wrong!
224
00:19:15,228 --> 00:19:16,502
-Name--
-I'm in charge!
225
00:19:16,651 --> 00:19:17,999
-Me!
-Is Major--
226
00:19:18,162 --> 00:19:20,135
-Ben--
-I'm in charge.
227
00:19:21,238 --> 00:19:23,348
You've never seen anything
like this before?
228
00:19:23,583 --> 00:19:27,926
It says I'm a top banana in a world
full of hungry little monkeys.
229
00:19:28,051 --> 00:19:29,769
Allow me to clarify.
230
00:19:30,349 --> 00:19:33,280
In a sequentially ranked hierarchy
based on level of critical importance
231
00:19:33,410 --> 00:19:36,468
the disparity between us
is too vast to quantify. Agent Stone.
232
00:19:36,638 --> 00:19:40,242
-The Doctor thinks you're basic.
-I'm initiating a sweep sequence.
233
00:19:40,465 --> 00:19:42,978
Ten miles in every direction
should suffice.
234
00:19:43,938 --> 00:19:45,901
-Is he still looking at me funny?
-Yes, he is.
235
00:19:46,043 --> 00:19:48,171
Tell him to stop or I'll pull out
his search history.
236
00:19:48,284 --> 00:19:50,825
If you don't stop looking, the Doctor,
he'll take a closer look--
237
00:19:50,975 --> 00:19:54,107
-I'm not deaf.
-And tell him his men report to me now.
238
00:19:54,910 --> 00:19:57,712
Excuse me? Listen, pal,
I don't know if you're realize--
239
00:19:57,841 --> 00:19:59,522
I'm sorry, Major, what was your name?
240
00:19:59,666 --> 00:20:03,110
-Benning--
-Nobody cares! Nobody cares.
241
00:20:03,402 --> 00:20:05,610
Listen, Major Nobodycares.
242
00:20:05,756 --> 00:20:07,906
You know why
nobody cares who you are?
243
00:20:08,177 --> 00:20:10,925
Because nobody cares about your feeble
accomplishments.
244
00:20:11,056 --> 00:20:13,531
And nobody cares about how proud
your Mommy is
245
00:20:13,683 --> 00:20:16,115
that you're now reading
at a third grade level.
246
00:20:16,831 --> 00:20:20,828
Have you finished 'Charlotte's Web' yet?
Spoiler alert, she dies in the end.
247
00:20:20,958 --> 00:20:23,589
But she leaves a big creepy egg sac.
248
00:20:25,201 --> 00:20:27,358
Oh, my babies.
249
00:20:28,097 --> 00:20:30,486
Look what came out of my egg sac.
250
00:20:30,675 --> 00:20:32,758
You know what I love about machines?
251
00:20:33,684 --> 00:20:36,817
They do what they're told.
They follow their programming.
252
00:20:37,003 --> 00:20:40,577
They don't need time-off to get drunk,
and put the boat in the water.
253
00:20:40,992 --> 00:20:42,916
And you do what you're told.
254
00:20:43,062 --> 00:20:45,543
Stand over there on the edge
of your personal abyss.
255
00:20:46,616 --> 00:20:49,046
And watch my machines do your job.
256
00:20:51,472 --> 00:20:54,263
-Can you feel it, Stone?
-I can feel it, Doctor.
257
00:20:54,651 --> 00:20:56,251
It's evolution, Stone.
258
00:20:57,607 --> 00:20:59,418
It's evolution!
259
00:21:34,620 --> 00:21:36,778
-Agent Stone?
-Doctor.
260
00:21:37,220 --> 00:21:39,430
Do you see anything useful in this image?
261
00:21:40,324 --> 00:21:42,741
-Nothing at all, Doctor.
-Of course you don't.
262
00:21:43,071 --> 00:21:45,060
Your eyes weren't expertly trained
to spot tracks
263
00:21:45,223 --> 00:21:47,490
by the Native American Shadow Wolves.
264
00:21:57,610 --> 00:21:59,150
That's extraordinary.
265
00:21:59,348 --> 00:22:01,528
No, what extraordinary is...
266
00:22:01,681 --> 00:22:05,362
I determined the exact height, weight,
and spinal curvature of this creature.
267
00:22:05,527 --> 00:22:08,387
And my computer can't find
a single match for it, anywhere
268
00:22:08,733 --> 00:22:10,962
in Earth's animal kingdom.
269
00:22:11,263 --> 00:22:15,550
This blackout was not a terrorist attack,
and that's no baby Bigfoot.
270
00:22:16,107 --> 00:22:19,218
This guy is something else
271
00:22:20,891 --> 00:22:22,603
entirely.
272
00:22:22,965 --> 00:22:25,769
Divert all search units
to the site of the footprint.
273
00:22:26,364 --> 00:22:28,808
That's one small step for man,
274
00:22:28,966 --> 00:22:31,293
one giant leap for me.
275
00:22:42,621 --> 00:22:44,571
Okay, okay. Everything is fine.
276
00:22:44,731 --> 00:22:46,783
You played some baseball,
got a little upset.
277
00:22:46,932 --> 00:22:50,193
Lightning shut out of your butt,
and now they're coming for you.
278
00:22:50,823 --> 00:22:52,887
All right, all right.
Earth isn't safe anymore.
279
00:22:53,017 --> 00:22:55,843
Time for plan B - Mushroomville.
I gotta take my stuff.
280
00:22:55,944 --> 00:22:57,831
Okay, essential items only.
281
00:22:57,974 --> 00:23:00,731
Okay, toothbrush, toothpaste,
hair gel, night light, funny hat.
282
00:23:01,112 --> 00:23:03,979
This half-eaten cantaloupe,
and my scented candle.
283
00:23:04,331 --> 00:23:05,965
My entire comic book collection.
284
00:23:06,079 --> 00:23:08,750
Bean bag chair, can a bean bag chair
fit in the backpack? No, no.
285
00:23:08,945 --> 00:23:10,363
Of course not. That's stupid.
286
00:23:10,508 --> 00:23:13,783
Okay, what else? The rings!
The rings, yes, of course!
287
00:23:15,130 --> 00:23:18,481
Here we go. Ring time.
Mushroom planet, here I come.
288
00:23:19,187 --> 00:23:22,182
Oh, no! They're right outside,
I gotta go somewhere else.
289
00:23:26,979 --> 00:23:28,816
Goodbye, cave.
290
00:23:32,833 --> 00:23:34,323
-Hi.
-Hey.
291
00:23:34,491 --> 00:23:35,531
What are you doing?
292
00:23:35,686 --> 00:23:38,414
Just coloring with Jojo and Rachel.
293
00:23:38,774 --> 00:23:40,427
That sounds half-fun.
294
00:23:40,572 --> 00:23:42,882
Hey, exciting stuff here.
We had a power outage.
295
00:23:43,035 --> 00:23:44,840
The whole town went dark.
296
00:23:44,959 --> 00:23:47,137
It was like a sign telling me
to get outta Dodge.
297
00:23:47,170 --> 00:23:49,142
-Wade must've lost his mind.
-Yeah.
298
00:23:49,381 --> 00:23:51,297
And he does not have much to lose.
299
00:23:51,531 --> 00:23:54,117
How's your sister? Does she
convince you to leave me yet?
300
00:23:54,248 --> 00:23:57,562
No, but she did tell me to check
your phone for dating apps.
301
00:23:57,713 --> 00:24:00,144
The only apps on my phone
are the ones that came with it.
302
00:24:00,306 --> 00:24:02,517
-And the Olive Garden.
-Ah, because when you're there--
303
00:24:02,648 --> 00:24:04,360
You're family.
304
00:24:05,985 --> 00:24:07,681
No way!
305
00:24:10,189 --> 00:24:13,437
The racoons are back.
And they are in for a surprise.
306
00:24:13,564 --> 00:24:16,943
Your surprise better not be
my tranquilizer gun. They're just hungry.
307
00:24:17,203 --> 00:24:19,672
And also, that's for bears.
308
00:24:20,564 --> 00:24:22,604
-Good, now I know it'll work.
-Tom!
309
00:24:22,784 --> 00:24:25,158
I'm kidding, I'm just gonna use it
to scare them.
310
00:24:25,272 --> 00:24:27,820
-Possibly to death. Love you, honey, bye.
-To--
311
00:24:32,365 --> 00:24:35,091
D-I-V-O-R-S-E.
312
00:24:37,206 --> 00:24:41,047
Okay, I'm in. With minimal damage
to Donut Lord's property.
313
00:24:42,179 --> 00:24:43,123
Here we go.
314
00:24:43,230 --> 00:24:46,553
Didn't work out on Earth, but that's okay.
You're going to a safe world.
315
00:24:46,689 --> 00:24:52,134
A nice safe world full of mushrooms.
Mushrooms there will be your only friends.
316
00:24:52,222 --> 00:24:54,180
That sounds awful, I can't do this.
317
00:24:54,325 --> 00:24:56,571
You have to do it,
there's no other option.
318
00:24:58,550 --> 00:24:59,977
All right.
319
00:25:01,001 --> 00:25:04,376
SFPD, pending background check.
Paws in the air!
320
00:25:06,993 --> 00:25:09,149
Uhhh... meow?
321
00:25:17,803 --> 00:25:20,737
San Francisco?
322
00:25:42,937 --> 00:25:44,383
No.
323
00:25:48,938 --> 00:25:50,143
What?
324
00:26:12,915 --> 00:26:14,543
The Blue Devil.
325
00:26:27,519 --> 00:26:29,397
-Donut Lord?
-You can talk?
326
00:26:30,444 --> 00:26:31,623
You're not--
327
00:26:31,787 --> 00:26:34,798
-You're not here to abduct me, are you?
-You abducted me!
328
00:26:36,061 --> 00:26:38,327
Okay, it's a fair point. What are you?
329
00:26:38,559 --> 00:26:40,257
Why are you hiding out in my garage?
330
00:26:40,391 --> 00:26:41,591
I needed somewhere safe,
331
00:26:41,737 --> 00:26:44,278
and you are the only person
I could think of, Donut Lord.
332
00:26:44,406 --> 00:26:47,162
-Why do you keep calling me Donut Lord?
-'Cause you talk to donuts,
333
00:26:47,321 --> 00:26:49,199
and then eat them
if they get out of the line.
334
00:26:49,327 --> 00:26:51,626
-Again, fair.
-Wait... Where are all the mushrooms?
335
00:26:51,762 --> 00:26:56,274
Why am I still on Earth? What did--
Oh, no, I lost my rings!
336
00:26:56,391 --> 00:26:57,790
What?
337
00:27:03,261 --> 00:27:05,656
What's happening?
Is this your mothership?
338
00:27:06,723 --> 00:27:09,289
-I'm not in the mood to get probed.
-You think you're worried?
339
00:27:09,414 --> 00:27:11,056
I'm not even wearing pants.
340
00:27:14,580 --> 00:27:15,935
What a--
341
00:27:17,336 --> 00:27:19,581
-They're coming for me!
-Who's coming for you?
342
00:27:19,673 --> 00:27:22,329
-What does that have to do with me?
-I don't have time to explain,
343
00:27:22,456 --> 00:27:25,142
-but you have to help me.
-No, I don't. Why?
344
00:27:25,291 --> 00:27:28,613
Well, my legs, which normally
would be classified as lethal weapons
345
00:27:28,759 --> 00:27:29,933
feel like spaghetti.
346
00:27:30,031 --> 00:27:33,174
I need your help, please.
It's life or death.
347
00:27:40,569 --> 00:27:42,389
Fine, come with me.
348
00:27:45,806 --> 00:27:47,420
Little help?
349
00:27:58,281 --> 00:28:01,459
-All right, stay here. And be quiet.
-Good plan, great plan.
350
00:28:01,598 --> 00:28:05,459
How are we working so well together?
Practically finishing each other sentences.
351
00:28:06,749 --> 00:28:07,917
Okay, bye.
352
00:28:11,363 --> 00:28:12,853
Hello there.
353
00:28:13,562 --> 00:28:15,106
Can I help you?
354
00:28:18,535 --> 00:28:20,609
Good morning, my rural chum.
355
00:28:21,105 --> 00:28:22,232
I'm...
356
00:28:22,521 --> 00:28:24,988
from the power company,
investigating the blackout.
357
00:28:25,140 --> 00:28:28,387
If you don't mind I'd like to take
a few readings inside your house?
358
00:28:28,510 --> 00:28:30,447
No kidding, you're from
the power company?
359
00:28:30,583 --> 00:28:33,524
You must know my buddy Spencer.
We play softball together.
360
00:28:33,668 --> 00:28:36,307
Spence, he's a good man.
361
00:28:37,588 --> 00:28:40,135
-Yeah, yeah... come on in!
-Great.
362
00:28:40,278 --> 00:28:42,577
Take all the readings
you need. Except...
363
00:28:43,543 --> 00:28:46,812
Don't the power company usually take
their readings from outside the house?
364
00:28:46,930 --> 00:28:49,203
That way they can check
even if you're not home.
365
00:28:49,467 --> 00:28:51,957
Also, my buddy Spencer
works at the gas company.
366
00:28:52,083 --> 00:28:55,026
And he's more of an ultimate Frisbee guy.
So, you wanna tell me why
367
00:28:55,323 --> 00:28:58,633
you think I'm dumb enough
to just let you walk inside my house?
368
00:29:06,575 --> 00:29:09,088
-I'm sorry, Mr..?
-Wachowski.
369
00:29:09,239 --> 00:29:10,783
But everyone calls me Tom.
370
00:29:11,001 --> 00:29:13,021
Except my dentist, he calls me Tim.
371
00:29:13,154 --> 00:29:16,625
But it's go on for so long now that
it would be just weird if I corrected him.
372
00:29:16,771 --> 00:29:18,872
Well, Tom, whose dentist calls him Tim.
373
00:29:19,020 --> 00:29:23,056
You may have noticed that this entire town
has been experiencing a power outage.
374
00:29:23,197 --> 00:29:25,024
Yup, no lights, picked up on that.
375
00:29:25,075 --> 00:29:27,095
Twenty minutes ago I tracked
an energy pulse
376
00:29:27,224 --> 00:29:30,372
with the similar signature to the one
that caused that disruption.
377
00:29:45,052 --> 00:29:46,814
Listen, Mr..?
378
00:29:46,961 --> 00:29:49,526
Doctor. Doctor Robotnik.
379
00:29:49,705 --> 00:29:51,565
But my dentist calls me Rob.
380
00:29:52,857 --> 00:29:55,944
Look, Doctor Robotskiz...
381
00:29:56,467 --> 00:29:58,515
I'm sure what you're here for
is very serious,
382
00:29:58,645 --> 00:30:01,454
but it's got nothing to do with me,
you can ask anyone in town.
383
00:30:01,568 --> 00:30:03,256
-Everyone knows me.
-I bet they do.
384
00:30:03,405 --> 00:30:05,818
I'm sure you hella popular
with a Gabs and Murls
385
00:30:06,039 --> 00:30:09,148
and Billy Bobs in this glorified
gas station rest stop.
386
00:30:09,466 --> 00:30:13,520
Which goes way back to the days
of tipping cows and playing on a jug band.
387
00:30:16,430 --> 00:30:19,218
And maybe some day
you've achieved your goal
388
00:30:19,369 --> 00:30:22,136
of getting a Costco card,
or adopting a Labradoodle.
389
00:30:22,294 --> 00:30:27,564
But the reality is, I surpassed
everything you're ever going to do
390
00:30:29,442 --> 00:30:31,339
before I was a toddler.
391
00:30:31,490 --> 00:30:35,061
I was spitting out formulas
while you were still spitting up formula.
392
00:30:35,187 --> 00:30:37,763
-I was breastfed, actually.
-Nice.
393
00:30:37,997 --> 00:30:40,213
Rub that in my orphan face.
394
00:30:40,431 --> 00:30:46,236
Mr. Wachowski, are you familiar
with US code 904, title 10, article 104?
395
00:30:47,599 --> 00:30:49,399
-Yeah--
-Anyone, who attempts to aid
396
00:30:49,558 --> 00:30:52,390
an enemy of the United States
shall suffer death.
397
00:30:54,262 --> 00:30:56,267
And if I'm the one who catches you,
398
00:30:56,732 --> 00:30:58,587
it'll be even worse.
399
00:30:59,989 --> 00:31:01,439
Worse than death?
400
00:31:03,647 --> 00:31:05,363
Okay, I'm a ball.
Just a normal ball.
401
00:31:05,510 --> 00:31:06,771
I'm blending in like a bulge.
402
00:31:06,907 --> 00:31:10,665
Stop talking. No, you stop talking.
Be quiet, Sonic. You be quiet, Sonic!
403
00:31:10,889 --> 00:31:12,919
Oh, I hope they aren't scanning me
with X-Rays,
404
00:31:13,052 --> 00:31:15,316
I had kind of an embarrassing lunch.
405
00:31:22,828 --> 00:31:25,119
Don't freak out. Don't freak--
Don't freak out.
406
00:31:25,278 --> 00:31:27,275
Don't freak out. Don't freak out.
407
00:31:28,700 --> 00:31:30,088
I'm freaking out!
408
00:31:32,491 --> 00:31:34,902
Why don't you had
your staircase carpeted?
409
00:31:35,055 --> 00:31:36,398
Compared to--
410
00:31:39,169 --> 00:31:40,756
-Old pipes.
-Yeah.
411
00:31:40,906 --> 00:31:43,547
Probably just the house settling.
Nothing to see here.
412
00:31:45,146 --> 00:31:46,413
Hey!
413
00:31:51,534 --> 00:31:53,010
Here's the thing.
414
00:31:54,758 --> 00:31:56,290
I'm never wrong.
415
00:31:57,054 --> 00:31:59,376
Well, first time for everything, I guess.
416
00:31:59,519 --> 00:32:00,720
Would you like some cake?
417
00:32:00,903 --> 00:32:05,035
I hear racoons have the cleanest mouths
of any animal that routinely eats garbage.
418
00:32:16,316 --> 00:32:18,079
Look at that.
419
00:32:18,586 --> 00:32:20,237
I was right.
420
00:32:20,652 --> 00:32:22,579
Note the lack of surprise.
421
00:32:22,776 --> 00:32:24,505
Should we try this again?
422
00:32:35,010 --> 00:32:39,231
I'm going to give you five seconds
to tell me where it is. Five.
423
00:32:39,358 --> 00:32:41,439
-I don't know what's you're talking about.
-Four.
424
00:32:41,596 --> 00:32:43,964
Hey, tough guy, I'm a cop.
And you're threatening an Officer.
425
00:32:44,097 --> 00:32:46,765
How can you threaten somebody
who never existed? Three.
426
00:32:47,334 --> 00:32:49,327
Come on, rack your brain!
427
00:32:49,494 --> 00:32:52,781
You might be able to come up
with some lame excuse to go on living.
428
00:32:53,019 --> 00:32:54,492
In two...
429
00:32:55,233 --> 00:32:56,497
One!
430
00:32:56,863 --> 00:32:58,826
Wait! Don't hurt him.
431
00:33:12,398 --> 00:33:14,068
This feels excessive.
432
00:33:17,513 --> 00:33:18,655
Stay behind me.
433
00:33:34,848 --> 00:33:37,311
Don't worry, I got it
right where I want it.
434
00:33:39,891 --> 00:33:43,315
Can you believe Amazon is gonna deliver
packages with these thing?
435
00:33:45,794 --> 00:33:48,560
This was a horrible plan,
what was I thinking?
436
00:33:51,189 --> 00:33:52,860
I'm gonna puke!
437
00:33:56,505 --> 00:33:57,598
Come on!
438
00:33:58,523 --> 00:33:59,778
We gotta get out of here.
439
00:33:59,947 --> 00:34:03,007
Don't tell me that's all you've got.
I'm just getting started.
440
00:34:03,132 --> 00:34:05,863
Let me know if you wanna go
round two with the blue.
441
00:34:24,690 --> 00:34:25,855
Doctor!
442
00:34:26,223 --> 00:34:27,306
Are you okay?
443
00:34:27,603 --> 00:34:29,641
I just saw a guy race
outta here and thought--
444
00:34:29,767 --> 00:34:31,204
That you should stop them?
445
00:34:32,321 --> 00:34:33,862
Open your mouth,
446
00:34:34,066 --> 00:34:36,094
and say you thought
that you should stop them.
447
00:34:36,254 --> 00:34:39,408
No, I thought that maybe I should
check to see if you're okay.
448
00:34:39,705 --> 00:34:42,430
You know what's hard about being
the smartest person in the world?
449
00:34:42,567 --> 00:34:45,460
-Everyone else seems stupid.
-Yes. Way to go.
450
00:34:45,695 --> 00:34:47,150
You got that one.
451
00:34:48,392 --> 00:34:52,099
Whatever this creature is,
it's our job to secure it,
452
00:34:52,601 --> 00:34:55,786
neutralize it, uncover
the source of its power.
453
00:34:56,379 --> 00:34:57,840
And if it resists...
454
00:34:58,884 --> 00:35:00,437
we take it apart,
455
00:35:01,048 --> 00:35:02,458
piece by piece.
456
00:35:03,654 --> 00:35:05,566
See what makes it tick.
457
00:35:06,545 --> 00:35:07,957
-Stone.
-Doctor.
458
00:35:08,104 --> 00:35:09,760
Call Optical Illusions.
459
00:35:10,419 --> 00:35:12,147
Tell them I need new frames.
460
00:35:12,784 --> 00:35:14,391
They know what kind I like.
461
00:35:16,244 --> 00:35:17,891
And bring that quill.
462
00:35:18,420 --> 00:35:19,766
Yes, Doctor.
463
00:35:23,057 --> 00:35:24,321
All right, pal,
464
00:35:24,380 --> 00:35:26,049
You need to start talking right now.
465
00:35:26,181 --> 00:35:28,544
Who are you? What are you?
466
00:35:28,713 --> 00:35:31,051
I'm a hedgehog,
I feel like that's obvious.
467
00:35:31,247 --> 00:35:33,825
-And I'm in big trouble.
-You're in big trouble?
468
00:35:33,961 --> 00:35:36,939
You're not the one who punched
some sort of government weirdo back there.
469
00:35:37,065 --> 00:35:39,305
You think you have problems?
I lost my rings!
470
00:35:39,435 --> 00:35:40,969
Rings? What are you talking about?
471
00:35:41,100 --> 00:35:44,573
Okay, rings are how all advanced cultures
travel between worlds.
472
00:35:44,943 --> 00:35:47,281
And now mine are on top
of a pointy building
473
00:35:47,433 --> 00:35:50,204
I've only ever seen
on your skin tight t-shirt.
474
00:35:50,561 --> 00:35:52,722
So, I'd like you to take me
to San Francisco,
475
00:35:52,934 --> 00:35:56,061
so I can get back my rings and use them
to go to the Mushroom planet.
476
00:35:57,912 --> 00:36:00,256
-Mushroom planet?
-Yes!
477
00:36:00,659 --> 00:36:01,785
Right.
478
00:36:05,646 --> 00:36:08,238
-Okay, pal. Out you go.
-I'm sorry, what?
479
00:36:08,384 --> 00:36:12,251
Look, this is the worst possible time
for me to get myself into trouble, okay?
480
00:36:12,360 --> 00:36:14,484
You asked me to save your life,
I saved your life.
481
00:36:14,607 --> 00:36:17,538
Now please, go find your rings,
and your Mushroomland.
482
00:36:17,690 --> 00:36:19,810
Hopefully I'm gonna wake up
in the hospital bed,
483
00:36:19,969 --> 00:36:22,758
and the doctors gonna tell me
that my colonoscopy was a big success.
484
00:36:22,900 --> 00:36:25,120
-Okay? So, goodbye.
-Okay, goodbye.
485
00:36:25,638 --> 00:36:26,741
Goodbye.
486
00:36:29,282 --> 00:36:32,042
-Why aren't you leaving?
-I don't know where San Francisco is.
487
00:36:32,181 --> 00:36:33,079
- It's West.
- West?
488
00:36:33,292 --> 00:36:35,558
- Straight shot, can't miss it.
- Fine. That's cool.
489
00:36:35,689 --> 00:36:37,733
I'm totally cool saying goodbye now.
490
00:36:42,656 --> 00:36:46,498
So, as I crashed into the cold
dark water of the Pacific
491
00:36:46,838 --> 00:36:48,641
I realized a few things.
492
00:36:49,176 --> 00:36:51,379
a) I have no idea where I'm going;
493
00:36:51,713 --> 00:36:53,743
b) salt water stings.
494
00:36:54,168 --> 00:36:58,320
c) I shouldn't even be on this planet
right now, but I am.
495
00:36:58,460 --> 00:37:01,257
-Why? Because you shot me!
-I know.
496
00:37:01,470 --> 00:37:02,551
You shot me!
497
00:37:02,692 --> 00:37:05,359
All right. I heard you the first time.
You don't have to...
498
00:37:05,494 --> 00:37:07,001
pile it on, good grief.
499
00:37:07,179 --> 00:37:09,308
I'm wet. I'm cold.
500
00:37:09,677 --> 00:37:11,417
There's a fish on my head!
501
00:37:11,679 --> 00:37:15,078
And clearly I'm not gonna be able
to do this on my own.
502
00:37:21,053 --> 00:37:23,735
-All right, get in the truck.
-Really? You gonna help me?
503
00:37:23,819 --> 00:37:27,009
I guess it is a little bit of my fault
that all of this happening to you.
504
00:37:27,141 --> 00:37:30,034
Not a little bit, entirely.
It is entirely your fault.
505
00:37:30,177 --> 00:37:32,083
Okay, it's entirely my fault.
Are you coming?
506
00:37:32,206 --> 00:37:33,313
Yes.
507
00:37:35,807 --> 00:37:37,668
Roadtrip.
508
00:37:38,163 --> 00:37:39,606
What am I doing?
509
00:37:40,032 --> 00:37:42,592
All right, there's gonna be rules
on this trip. Number one:
510
00:37:42,725 --> 00:37:44,929
do exactly as I say all the time.
511
00:37:45,386 --> 00:37:47,223
-Got it?
-Got it, Donut Lord.
512
00:37:47,366 --> 00:37:49,200
Would you stop with the Donut Lord?
513
00:37:49,570 --> 00:37:51,404
I have a name. It's Tom.
514
00:37:51,742 --> 00:37:53,071
I'm Sonic.
515
00:37:53,265 --> 00:37:55,415
Sonic? Sonic.
516
00:37:56,535 --> 00:37:58,716
So, you've been spying
on us all for years.
517
00:37:58,859 --> 00:38:00,590
I mean, I wouldn't call it spying.
518
00:38:00,722 --> 00:38:02,978
We were all just hanging out,
only I wasn't invited,
519
00:38:03,105 --> 00:38:04,612
and no one knew I was there.
520
00:38:04,747 --> 00:38:07,378
I can't believe Crazy Carl
was right all this time.
521
00:38:07,526 --> 00:38:10,428
Yeah, you should call him
Super Observing Carl instead.
522
00:38:10,997 --> 00:38:13,277
-Oh my God, stop the car right now!
-What? What?
523
00:38:13,440 --> 00:38:16,763
The World's Largest Rubber Band Ball?
We gotta see it!
524
00:38:16,891 --> 00:38:20,358
No, no. This is not some fun
family roadtrip, okay?
525
00:38:20,607 --> 00:38:24,605
The government wants to dissect you,
and arrest me. This is serious.
526
00:38:26,235 --> 00:38:28,646
You were right. It was lame.
Gift shop was cool, though.
527
00:38:28,887 --> 00:38:30,112
I got you a mouse pad.
528
00:38:30,386 --> 00:38:31,971
When are we gonna get there?
529
00:38:32,005 --> 00:38:33,893
We will get there when we get there.
530
00:38:52,937 --> 00:38:56,251
All right, I'm gonna go check in with Wade
to see if he knows what's going on.
531
00:38:56,388 --> 00:38:58,575
You gonna see Wade in that glass thing?
532
00:38:58,726 --> 00:39:00,674
What is it? A teleportation box?
533
00:39:02,434 --> 00:39:03,386
It's a pay phone.
534
00:39:03,535 --> 00:39:06,944
It's mostly for drug dealers and fugitives
from the law, which is us.
535
00:39:07,159 --> 00:39:09,595
Stay in the car. I don't want
anybody seeing you.
536
00:39:09,889 --> 00:39:11,197
Fine!
537
00:39:29,720 --> 00:39:34,379
Okay. Okay. That is the coolest place
on Earth, but you have to stay in the car.
538
00:39:43,673 --> 00:39:45,916
Be strong. Be strong.
539
00:39:53,194 --> 00:39:55,354
Hello. Green Hills Police Department.
540
00:39:55,504 --> 00:39:58,284
-Wade, it's me.
-Hi, I'm so glad that you called.
541
00:39:58,666 --> 00:40:02,943
So, some guys came in asking
some questions. A little creepy.
542
00:40:03,308 --> 00:40:05,637
Kinda reminded me of guys
from Men in Black,
543
00:40:05,755 --> 00:40:09,225
but not as likable,
or charming as Will Smith.
544
00:40:09,359 --> 00:40:10,963
Wait, what kinda questions?
545
00:40:11,122 --> 00:40:13,379
Questions about terrorism.
546
00:40:13,885 --> 00:40:16,897
I told them that, like--
I've gone ice fishing with Tom.
547
00:40:17,208 --> 00:40:20,967
He doesn't know how to make a bomb.
He can't even make, like bait in the cold.
548
00:40:21,096 --> 00:40:23,245
All right, Wade, listen to me.
This is really important.
549
00:40:23,371 --> 00:40:25,461
Don't tell them that we talked, okay?
550
00:40:28,398 --> 00:40:30,500
You know, I think they already know.
551
00:40:32,449 --> 00:40:34,055
Mr. Wachowski.
552
00:40:34,989 --> 00:40:36,142
Tom.
553
00:40:36,168 --> 00:40:38,125
I want you to know
that the only other person
554
00:40:38,187 --> 00:40:41,255
who have ever punched me
in the face was the school bully.
555
00:40:41,384 --> 00:40:44,189
He hit me in the cafeteria
causing a blunt force contusion
556
00:40:44,339 --> 00:40:46,728
to the soft tissue
surrounding my orbital bone.
557
00:40:46,802 --> 00:40:48,901
Humiliated me in front
of the entire school.
558
00:40:49,054 --> 00:40:51,176
And you know what I did in response?
559
00:40:51,333 --> 00:40:53,942
I'm assuming that you reported him
to the Principal's office,
560
00:40:54,057 --> 00:40:56,435
'cause, you know that kinda behavior
is really unacceptable.
561
00:40:56,597 --> 00:40:59,501
No, I examined the inefficiency
of a world with blunt traumed brain,
562
00:40:59,639 --> 00:41:02,437
and I used technology
to resolve that inefficiency.
563
00:41:02,584 --> 00:41:05,310
The boy ate his meals
through a straw for a year.
564
00:41:05,581 --> 00:41:08,725
And I have never lost
a fight again. Until today.
565
00:41:09,380 --> 00:41:10,705
Hooray for me then, huh?
566
00:41:10,817 --> 00:41:13,462
No, because you're about
to become the bully with a straw!
567
00:41:13,610 --> 00:41:15,803
I'm coming for you, Mr. Wachowski.
568
00:41:16,198 --> 00:41:18,140
And when I catch you I'll--
569
00:41:19,105 --> 00:41:21,110
Hello? Hello?
570
00:41:22,225 --> 00:41:24,843
-Hello? Hello?
-I think he actually hung up.
571
00:41:24,890 --> 00:41:28,226
-Because I noticed that the light isn't on.
-Thank you, Officer Brainfart.
572
00:41:28,357 --> 00:41:30,641
If you give me a second
I can get an outside line.
573
00:41:30,776 --> 00:41:34,747
No, don't be bothered.
You just sit there and be you-
574
00:41:35,953 --> 00:41:37,501
sless.
575
00:41:44,434 --> 00:41:47,091
No one's gonna erase my memory here?
576
00:41:48,290 --> 00:41:50,255
I will tell people about this.
577
00:41:53,361 --> 00:41:56,470
Okay, not exactly
the healthiest meal, but...
578
00:41:57,664 --> 00:41:58,822
Sonic?
579
00:42:05,076 --> 00:42:06,424
No, no.
580
00:42:21,723 --> 00:42:23,046
Howdy, partner.
581
00:42:23,169 --> 00:42:24,958
I'm not your partner, come on,
we're leaving.
582
00:42:25,083 --> 00:42:27,821
But there's a ZZ Top cover band,
you gotta see their beards.
583
00:42:27,904 --> 00:42:30,368
We will have to catch them
some other time. Let's go. Get up.
584
00:42:30,505 --> 00:42:33,817
If we stay I promise I won't say
another word for the rest of the trip.
585
00:42:33,963 --> 00:42:35,380
Starting... now.
586
00:42:35,953 --> 00:42:38,345
Welcome to the Piston Pit,
what can I get you fellas?
587
00:42:38,571 --> 00:42:42,964
I want nachos and buffalo wings, and guac.
Funny word, isn't it? Guac. Guac.
588
00:42:43,702 --> 00:42:46,634
No kids allowed in here.
What's he got on, some kinda mask?
589
00:42:47,415 --> 00:42:51,999
He's actually 43 years old,
and suffers from a very rare skin disease.
590
00:42:52,147 --> 00:42:54,490
that stunts his growth,
and makes him look...
591
00:42:54,847 --> 00:42:56,247
like-- like that.
592
00:42:56,386 --> 00:43:00,318
The face I was born with, the confidence
I picked up along the way.
593
00:43:00,902 --> 00:43:03,263
-Make us a Mellow Yellow please.
-Okay.
594
00:43:04,369 --> 00:43:07,107
-You owe me one.
-I've never sat on the bar stool before.
595
00:43:07,263 --> 00:43:10,424
So squishy. Oh, look at this, it spins!
596
00:43:11,239 --> 00:43:12,505
Yes.
597
00:43:13,162 --> 00:43:15,166
-I feel sick.
-Having fun?
598
00:43:15,458 --> 00:43:18,225
Gonna check this off your bucket list,
huh? Big night for ya?
599
00:43:18,344 --> 00:43:20,173
What's a bucket list?
600
00:43:20,379 --> 00:43:22,051
Bucket list is a...
601
00:43:22,456 --> 00:43:25,657
It's a list of things you wanna do
in your life before you...
602
00:43:26,311 --> 00:43:27,474
well, kick the bucket.
603
00:43:27,585 --> 00:43:30,509
I've never kicked the bucket
either. I gotta make my list.
604
00:43:36,286 --> 00:43:37,705
Sonic.
605
00:43:44,715 --> 00:43:45,827
Why? What's the matter?
606
00:43:45,979 --> 00:43:47,835
There are so much stuff
I've never done.
607
00:43:47,994 --> 00:43:50,275
And now that I'm leaving Earth forever...
608
00:43:50,811 --> 00:43:52,618
I guess I missed my chance.
609
00:43:57,781 --> 00:44:01,155
Well, I guess this is the kinda place
you can get a lot of live and done
610
00:44:01,298 --> 00:44:03,024
in a short period of time.
611
00:44:03,590 --> 00:44:05,295
I suppose we can spare an hour.
612
00:44:05,472 --> 00:44:07,802
What? You gonna bucket list with me?
613
00:44:08,130 --> 00:44:10,475
-Sure, why not.
-You won't regret this.
614
00:44:10,709 --> 00:44:11,921
I'm pretty sure I will.
615
00:44:36,701 --> 00:44:38,237
New high score.
616
00:44:44,473 --> 00:44:48,245
Wait a second, does this bull missing
a head or does it have two butts?
617
00:44:50,631 --> 00:44:52,743
-This is easy.
-Okay.
618
00:44:57,482 --> 00:44:59,185
I'm a cowboy, baby.
619
00:45:02,208 --> 00:45:03,693
I'm okay.
620
00:45:10,164 --> 00:45:11,310
Yeah!
621
00:45:13,646 --> 00:45:15,258
Yeah, laugh it up.
622
00:45:15,450 --> 00:45:17,056
Nice work, Romeo.
623
00:45:17,535 --> 00:45:20,211
-Glad you're having a good time.
-I am having a good time.
624
00:45:20,323 --> 00:45:23,039
I'm having the best time,
I mean what could go wrong?
625
00:45:27,078 --> 00:45:28,310
Can we help you?
626
00:45:28,663 --> 00:45:32,649
-We don't like your kind around here.
-Our kind? What kind is that?
627
00:45:34,747 --> 00:45:35,942
Hipsters.
628
00:45:36,502 --> 00:45:37,555
How dare you?!
629
00:45:37,668 --> 00:45:40,141
Hey, you know what? We were
just leaving anyway, weren't we?
630
00:45:40,278 --> 00:45:41,951
-Not a problem--
-No, no. It's okay.
631
00:45:42,091 --> 00:45:43,034
No, no. We're leaving.
632
00:45:43,170 --> 00:45:45,672
I know exactly how to handle
this situation.
633
00:45:46,759 --> 00:45:47,968
Pop quiz hot-shot.
634
00:45:48,113 --> 00:45:50,764
You just picked a fight
with a poorly disguised hedgehog
635
00:45:50,905 --> 00:45:53,744
who's seen way too many
action movies. What do you do?
636
00:45:53,866 --> 00:45:55,521
What do you do?
637
00:45:58,192 --> 00:46:00,373
Am I crazy? It was supposed
to break, right?
638
00:46:02,142 --> 00:46:04,966
Break please. Break please.
Break please, bottle. Please.
639
00:46:05,135 --> 00:46:06,507
Sonic?
640
00:46:18,108 --> 00:46:20,712
-Nice doing.
-Thanks. It's awesome, right?
641
00:46:20,881 --> 00:46:22,868
All right, who's next?
Who wants some?
642
00:46:23,047 --> 00:46:24,625
Who do I get to beat up?
643
00:46:25,020 --> 00:46:29,422
Hey, has anybody seen my waitress?
Still waiting on those buffalo wings.
644
00:46:30,314 --> 00:46:31,804
Ah, you!
645
00:46:43,284 --> 00:46:44,486
Really?
646
00:48:33,433 --> 00:48:36,200
-So, should we get out of here?
-Yeah, time to go.
647
00:48:38,364 --> 00:48:39,385
That was amazing!
648
00:48:39,588 --> 00:48:42,479
Wait a second, did we even pay
our tip? It doesn't matter!
649
00:48:42,662 --> 00:48:45,285
Watch this. Watch this.
I always wanted to do this.
650
00:48:48,539 --> 00:48:51,013
-Get them!
-See ya, suckers.
651
00:48:51,798 --> 00:48:54,366
I can't say for sure,
but I think they liked me.
652
00:49:00,417 --> 00:49:01,828
-Yes! Yes!
-Yeah!
653
00:49:01,973 --> 00:49:02,604
Ouch!
654
00:49:02,757 --> 00:49:05,614
-They got you pretty good.
-I'm all right, have been hit harder.
655
00:49:05,772 --> 00:49:07,449
Did you see how much
toilet paper I used?
656
00:49:07,597 --> 00:49:11,109
The next person that goes into that
bathroom will have nothing to wipe with.
657
00:49:11,620 --> 00:49:15,280
The floors were sticky. The crowd
was rough. And the odds were against us.
658
00:49:15,518 --> 00:49:18,780
But there was no stopping
Donut Lord and the Blue Blur.
659
00:49:19,148 --> 00:49:21,589
Scratch another one off my list.
660
00:49:22,808 --> 00:49:24,721
You are a weird little dude.
661
00:49:37,233 --> 00:49:39,537
-Okay.
-So, what are we gonna do now?
662
00:49:41,213 --> 00:49:43,273
I'm gonna pass out watching TV.
663
00:49:43,606 --> 00:49:46,094
-You should, too.
-But this is my last night on Earth.
664
00:49:46,226 --> 00:49:48,549
-I wanna soak up every last second.
-All right, well...
665
00:49:48,689 --> 00:49:51,911
Anything you can find to do in this room,
you knock yourself out.
666
00:49:58,475 --> 00:50:00,567
Good times.
667
00:50:02,866 --> 00:50:04,319
Oh, come on.
668
00:50:04,590 --> 00:50:08,652
-That's awful, what did you eat?
-I think it's called a chili dog.
669
00:50:09,344 --> 00:50:12,034
You might wanna check
your fur on that one, buddy.
670
00:50:12,582 --> 00:50:15,571
Hey, so what's this next planet
you're supposed to go to like?
671
00:50:15,824 --> 00:50:18,679
It's no Earth. I can tell you that.
There's no people.
672
00:50:18,815 --> 00:50:21,736
Just breathable air and giant
mushrooms, and stuff.
673
00:50:22,268 --> 00:50:23,981
Well, look at it this way.
674
00:50:24,360 --> 00:50:26,608
At least you won't be the only fun-gi.
675
00:50:27,264 --> 00:50:29,819
No, don't ever do that again.
676
00:50:30,957 --> 00:50:32,309
I liked it.
677
00:50:34,175 --> 00:50:36,166
I'm really gonna miss this place.
678
00:50:36,426 --> 00:50:39,981
I know I have to leave Earth to be safe,
but what if Longclaw was wrong?
679
00:50:41,269 --> 00:50:43,274
Maybe I could have a life here.
680
00:50:47,947 --> 00:50:50,286
All right, we should get some sleep.
681
00:50:51,722 --> 00:50:54,878
You sleep, don't worry about me,
I'm gonna stay up all night
682
00:50:55,022 --> 00:50:56,805
enjoying Earth while I can.
683
00:50:56,999 --> 00:50:58,335
Sure, kid.
684
00:50:58,978 --> 00:51:01,122
As long as we're
on the road by eight.
685
00:51:25,016 --> 00:51:29,136
Thomas Wachowski, accused of committing
an act of domestic terrorism.
686
00:51:29,685 --> 00:51:32,333
Wachowski is considered
armed and dangerous.
687
00:51:32,596 --> 00:51:35,608
Any information regarding
his whereabouts should be reported
688
00:51:35,760 --> 00:51:37,593
to local authorities immediately.
689
00:51:43,813 --> 00:51:45,767
Did he say where he was going?
690
00:51:48,840 --> 00:51:51,118
Maybe. Maybe not.
691
00:51:52,255 --> 00:51:53,958
Like I'd ever tell you.
692
00:51:55,303 --> 00:51:56,862
Stand down, Agent Stone.
693
00:51:56,934 --> 00:51:59,402
This well-meaning citizen obviously
doesn't understand
694
00:51:59,555 --> 00:52:01,513
the urgency of the matter.
695
00:52:03,843 --> 00:52:05,304
Really?
696
00:52:07,562 --> 00:52:10,274
Now, that's what I call
'good cop, bad cop'.
697
00:52:13,281 --> 00:52:14,869
Left yourself open.
698
00:52:17,423 --> 00:52:19,414
Judging by the quickest route
to San Francisco,
699
00:52:19,598 --> 00:52:22,651
the approximate speed of their vehicle
and local weather conditions...
700
00:52:24,237 --> 00:52:25,814
They should be...
701
00:52:26,473 --> 00:52:28,412
right about...
702
00:52:29,450 --> 00:52:30,793
here.
703
00:52:31,093 --> 00:52:34,323
-That's brilliant, Sir.
-Thanks... for nothing.
704
00:52:37,254 --> 00:52:39,732
-So, what's on your bucket list?
-Me?
705
00:52:39,866 --> 00:52:42,677
-Yeah, everyone has a bucket list, right?
-Well, sure, but...
706
00:52:42,813 --> 00:52:44,654
I mean, you are the one leaving Earth.
707
00:52:45,035 --> 00:52:47,024
And I'm not planning
on dying anytime soon.
708
00:52:47,171 --> 00:52:50,337
Don't be so sure, your best friend
is a magnet for danger.
709
00:52:50,476 --> 00:52:52,393
You're anointing yourself as the bestie?
710
00:52:53,583 --> 00:52:55,556
Little presumptuous,
but... I mean...
711
00:52:56,030 --> 00:52:58,180
I like you, of course, but...
712
00:52:58,409 --> 00:53:00,144
You know, we're not best friends.
713
00:53:00,512 --> 00:53:02,244
You tucked me in last night.
714
00:53:02,448 --> 00:53:05,537
-Fine, fine. Best animal friend.
-That would be my dog Ozzy.
715
00:53:05,646 --> 00:53:09,471
Okay, let's trap this increasingly
humiliating topic of conversation.
716
00:53:09,697 --> 00:53:11,483
Bucket list. Give it to me.
717
00:53:11,908 --> 00:53:13,850
Okay, there is one thing.
718
00:53:14,758 --> 00:53:16,679
In Green Hills I've always felt,
719
00:53:17,062 --> 00:53:20,233
I don't know, more like a baby sitter
than a real cop, you know?
720
00:53:20,421 --> 00:53:23,251
So, I want a chance to prove
myself under real pressure.
721
00:53:23,424 --> 00:53:26,189
I'm gonna move to San Francisco,
become a street cop.
722
00:53:26,804 --> 00:53:29,449
And, I don't know,
see if I have what it takes.
723
00:53:30,611 --> 00:53:31,830
What?
724
00:53:33,094 --> 00:53:36,619
-Why is your face doing that?
-You're leaving Green Hills?!
725
00:53:37,353 --> 00:53:39,341
-Okay.
-Bu-- But-- But why?
726
00:53:39,391 --> 00:53:42,452
-Why would you leave Green Hills?
-This maybe hard for you to understand,
727
00:53:42,591 --> 00:53:45,226
but Green Hills is a small town,
it's a very small town.
728
00:53:45,364 --> 00:53:47,826
It's not small. There are
hundreds of people.
729
00:53:47,985 --> 00:53:49,524
That's a small town, dude.
730
00:53:49,679 --> 00:53:52,335
It's a perfect town,
and the people need you.
731
00:53:52,440 --> 00:53:55,786
Please, I clean up their gutters,
I jumpstart their cars in the winter.
732
00:53:55,922 --> 00:53:57,613
They can call anybody to do that.
733
00:53:57,736 --> 00:54:01,245
Sure, they can call anybody,
but the don't. They call you.
734
00:54:18,355 --> 00:54:20,487
Eeny meeny miny...
735
00:54:21,700 --> 00:54:23,081
mayhem.
736
00:54:34,115 --> 00:54:36,293
-You're not making any sense.
-Would you calm down?
737
00:54:36,297 --> 00:54:38,335
You come from a great town
with great people,
738
00:54:38,485 --> 00:54:41,135
and by my count zero bad guys
trying to kill you.
739
00:54:43,394 --> 00:54:45,864
Besides, what could possibly
be more important
740
00:54:46,004 --> 00:54:48,320
than protecting the people you care about?
741
00:54:54,356 --> 00:54:55,878
Look, I get--
742
00:54:57,696 --> 00:54:59,023
Yeah!
743
00:55:06,298 --> 00:55:09,973
You know what? I was wrong about you.
You're not the Donut Lord at all.
744
00:55:10,098 --> 00:55:11,956
You're more like the Jerk Lord.
745
00:55:12,105 --> 00:55:14,689
Have you noticed the harpoon
stuck in our dash?!
746
00:55:20,692 --> 00:55:21,555
Sonic!
747
00:55:21,722 --> 00:55:25,320
I was forced from my home,
your home is perfect and you're leaving it.
748
00:55:25,467 --> 00:55:27,105
Why would you do that?
749
00:55:27,230 --> 00:55:29,560
-Your body!
-No, no! Not again!
750
00:55:29,796 --> 00:55:31,592
-Hey, hold on!
-Why?
751
00:55:31,712 --> 00:55:33,081
Because I'm gonna do this.
752
00:55:51,669 --> 00:55:52,877
Sonic!
753
00:55:54,291 --> 00:55:55,702
Sonic!
754
00:55:59,804 --> 00:56:02,270
Guess I had a bonus life.
755
00:56:04,833 --> 00:56:06,028
Yeah, baby!
756
00:56:06,227 --> 00:56:08,403
Sonic - one, big tank - zero.
757
00:56:08,733 --> 00:56:10,583
I'm sorry. Did we
get this on camera?
758
00:56:10,695 --> 00:56:13,065
-How are you not dead?
-I have no idea.
759
00:56:13,516 --> 00:56:14,854
But do you see me dancing?
760
00:56:15,007 --> 00:56:17,516
-Yes, I saw your dance.
-Is that all you've got?
761
00:56:17,662 --> 00:56:19,600
No, but thank you for asking.
762
00:56:23,320 --> 00:56:24,419
Sonic!
763
00:56:24,871 --> 00:56:27,465
-Get back in the truck!
-You go, I'll catch up.
764
00:56:38,652 --> 00:56:40,928
I think that tank just had a baby.
765
00:56:53,515 --> 00:56:54,949
Incoming!
766
00:56:57,067 --> 00:56:59,675
-It's my turn!
-You just had. Now it's mine!
767
00:56:59,838 --> 00:57:01,949
Hey, stop fighting, or I'm taking
that thing away!
768
00:57:02,130 --> 00:57:03,280
Yeah, right, Dad.
769
00:57:15,186 --> 00:57:17,178
-Where are you going?
-Just drive the car.
770
00:57:17,346 --> 00:57:18,861
I'll take care of this.
771
00:57:19,050 --> 00:57:20,915
And if I don't make it, just ditch me,
772
00:57:21,057 --> 00:57:22,433
you seem good at that.
773
00:57:31,949 --> 00:57:34,108
Hey, everyone, welcome back
to my livestream.
774
00:57:34,226 --> 00:57:36,454
Today, we're destroying robots. Step one.
775
00:57:41,636 --> 00:57:43,203
Yes! We did it!
776
00:57:47,944 --> 00:57:50,459
We did not do it. Who is this guy?
777
00:57:50,870 --> 00:57:53,039
Ever wonder where your
tax dollars are going?
778
00:57:53,195 --> 00:57:55,532
My turn, here,
just keep us going straight.
779
00:57:55,887 --> 00:57:57,231
I put on cruise control.
780
00:57:57,485 --> 00:58:01,122
I feel just like Vin Diesel.
It's all about family, Tom.
781
00:58:08,301 --> 00:58:12,090
Quick suggestion. Roll up into a ball
and smash him with your body.
782
00:58:13,327 --> 00:58:15,671
Whoa! Where'd you learn how to drive?!
783
00:58:15,849 --> 00:58:18,390
Here, in this truck,
it's happening as we speak.
784
00:58:21,403 --> 00:58:23,323
I can't reach it, bring it in closer.
785
00:58:23,458 --> 00:58:25,830
-What?
-Bring it in closer. Hit the brakes.
786
00:58:26,083 --> 00:58:29,015
-Oh, you mean this one?
-The other brakes!
787
00:58:43,412 --> 00:58:46,580
Give me a big fat break!
788
00:58:52,630 --> 00:58:54,664
This one is cute, let's keep him.
789
00:58:58,266 --> 00:58:59,379
Oh, come on!
790
00:58:59,513 --> 00:59:01,835
How can something so adorable
be so terrible.
791
00:59:05,169 --> 00:59:07,063
You got car insurance, right?
792
00:59:13,450 --> 00:59:14,884
Buzz off!
793
00:59:15,270 --> 00:59:17,956
-That doesn't sound good.
-No, beeping means bad! Get rid of it!
794
00:59:18,070 --> 00:59:18,798
I'm trying.
795
00:59:18,917 --> 00:59:20,891
Just throw it off the window!
Throw it anywhere!
796
00:59:21,018 --> 00:59:23,377
-I can't get it off!
-All right, I'm pulling over.
797
00:59:30,954 --> 00:59:32,785
-Did I get it?
-No.
798
00:59:34,577 --> 00:59:36,147
Here, hold still.
799
00:59:36,900 --> 00:59:38,681
It's going. It's going.
800
00:59:38,929 --> 00:59:40,285
It's still here.
801
00:59:43,431 --> 00:59:46,650
Get off me! Nailed it!
802
00:59:56,317 --> 00:59:57,644
Sonic!
803
01:00:04,777 --> 01:00:05,994
No, no.
804
01:00:13,013 --> 01:00:14,738
Hey, come on.
You're all right.
805
01:00:14,881 --> 01:00:17,048
Wake up. Wake up.
806
01:00:23,784 --> 01:00:25,190
Did we get them?
807
01:00:25,911 --> 01:00:27,789
Oh, no, there they are.
808
01:00:28,057 --> 01:00:30,794
They are real survivors, those two.
809
01:00:35,727 --> 01:00:37,523
Can we have a moment?
810
01:00:39,957 --> 01:00:41,989
Pin yourself to the wall.
811
01:00:42,925 --> 01:00:45,143
You know, I won't miss you
when you're gone.
812
01:00:45,268 --> 01:00:49,208
Human beings are unreliable and stupid,
and I care very little about them.
813
01:00:49,345 --> 01:00:51,682
But my machines are diligent, relentless.
814
01:00:51,890 --> 01:00:53,837
They're everything to me!
815
01:01:08,336 --> 01:01:09,910
Interesting.
816
01:01:31,681 --> 01:01:34,278
Hold on, buddy. You'll be all right.
817
01:01:34,750 --> 01:01:36,134
You'll be all right.
818
01:01:40,913 --> 01:01:43,751
-I beg you, Rachel. No. It's emergency.
-No, no. Not today. Goodbye. Bye bye.
819
01:01:43,889 --> 01:01:45,868
-Would you stop? Open it please. Maddie!
-Bye. Bye.
820
01:01:45,896 --> 01:01:49,063
-Don't do this to me please. It's important.
-Tom! Oh my God. Rachel let him in!
821
01:01:49,191 --> 01:01:51,967
I am calling the Police. No, I am calling
the FBI. I am calling the CIA.
822
01:01:51,979 --> 01:01:53,472
-I am calling someone.
-Don't do that.
823
01:01:53,531 --> 01:01:55,072
-I'm calling your Mother.
-Okay. Got it.
824
01:01:55,206 --> 01:01:56,983
-Maddie, can we just--
-Tom, what's going on?
825
01:01:57,026 --> 01:01:59,245
You're all over the news.
I've been trying to call you.
826
01:01:59,260 --> 01:02:01,246
I had to ditch my phone
so they couldn't track me.
827
01:02:01,247 --> 01:02:02,467
-Ditch his phone?
-Track? You?
828
01:02:02,597 --> 01:02:04,283
-Uncle Tommy!
-Jojo! Hey.
829
01:02:04,413 --> 01:02:07,594
-Now your niece is an accessory to treason.
-She's not.
830
01:02:07,794 --> 01:02:10,900
-Would you calm down.
-Calm down? I will not calm down!
831
01:02:11,052 --> 01:02:14,404
Yes, calm down. Stop talking.
No, Ozzy, please. I know, good to see you.
832
01:02:14,610 --> 01:02:17,489
- No, no! Ozzy, stop!
-Oh, good ol' Lord Baby Jesus!
833
01:02:17,712 --> 01:02:20,429
What is that, Tom?
Is it plutonium? Is it emails?
834
01:02:20,554 --> 01:02:23,945
Yes, it's plutonium. Can we just please--
Can we just go to your room and talk--
835
01:02:23,969 --> 01:02:25,069
Stop it, Ozzy! Quit it!
836
01:02:25,209 --> 01:02:27,727
-This is why I told you he was no good.
-I'm not engaging--
837
01:02:28,015 --> 01:02:29,597
-No, Ozzy, quit it!
-Door now open.
838
01:02:29,725 --> 01:02:30,640
-Locked.
-No, it's unlocked.
839
01:02:31,230 --> 01:02:33,313
Ozzy, no! Ozzy! No, no!
840
01:02:35,005 --> 01:02:36,443
Oh, catch me, Jojo.
841
01:02:38,507 --> 01:02:40,181
Oh, thank God!
842
01:02:41,443 --> 01:02:42,708
Can I get a glass of water?
843
01:04:23,885 --> 01:04:27,365
I just thought you might like a latte
with steamed Austrian goat milk.
844
01:04:27,820 --> 01:04:31,166
What do I look like, an imbecile?
Of course, I want a latte!
845
01:04:31,386 --> 01:04:33,305
I love the way you make them!
846
01:04:39,844 --> 01:04:42,262
Ready the prototype.
847
01:04:42,772 --> 01:04:48,197
With this kind of power my machines
can finally reach their full potential.
848
01:04:54,601 --> 01:04:56,457
He's gonna be okay, Jojo.
849
01:04:57,849 --> 01:05:00,199
Oh, thank God.
He's gonna be okay, right?
850
01:05:00,496 --> 01:05:03,233
I'm a vet, Tom, I don't even know
what I'm looking at here.
851
01:05:03,363 --> 01:05:05,322
Well, he's a hedgehog...
Or so he says.
852
01:05:05,527 --> 01:05:07,216
-It talks?
-Almost constantly.
853
01:05:07,521 --> 01:05:08,538
Okay.
854
01:05:10,296 --> 01:05:11,380
-Holy...
-What?
855
01:05:11,555 --> 01:05:13,175
Its pulse is super fast.
856
01:05:13,317 --> 01:05:15,436
Well, that actually
might be normal for him.
857
01:05:15,489 --> 01:05:18,792
-I don't know. You gotta help him, Maddie.
-I don't know his physiology.
858
01:05:18,927 --> 01:05:21,845
He doesn't seem to have
any broken bones. He's just...
859
01:05:22,730 --> 01:05:24,270
really banged up.
860
01:05:25,568 --> 01:05:27,535
Look at its poor little feet.
861
01:05:31,144 --> 01:05:33,740
Hang in there, buddy.
You gonna be all right.
862
01:05:36,988 --> 01:05:39,606
Jojo, untie your Mo-- Jojo!
863
01:05:40,033 --> 01:05:42,643
Untie Mommy. Sweetie.
864
01:05:43,346 --> 01:05:44,469
Jojo!
865
01:05:47,360 --> 01:05:48,978
I have to go to the bathroom.
866
01:05:49,125 --> 01:05:50,818
He's gonna be okay, right?
867
01:05:50,967 --> 01:05:53,498
Like he's gonna snap outta this.
He'll wake up soon.
868
01:05:53,695 --> 01:05:55,996
Oh, smelling salts! Don't you have
like vet smelling salts,
869
01:05:56,137 --> 01:05:58,365
like for cats, or parakeets or something?
870
01:05:58,515 --> 01:06:01,433
-No, they don't make cat smelling salts.
-They should.
871
01:06:01,863 --> 01:06:05,942
I have human smelling salts
in my human first aid kit.
872
01:06:07,223 --> 01:06:08,472
Okay.
873
01:06:10,671 --> 01:06:11,819
Come on, buddy.
874
01:06:11,966 --> 01:06:13,298
Gotta go fast!
875
01:06:16,715 --> 01:06:19,074
Where am I? What year is it?
Is the Rock President?
876
01:06:19,200 --> 01:06:21,146
Whoa, whoa, buddy.
You're okay. Calm down.
877
01:06:21,282 --> 01:06:23,488
-Oh, hi Pretzel Lady!
-Hi.
878
01:06:24,410 --> 01:06:25,410
Tom?
879
01:06:25,581 --> 01:06:27,363
-Yeah?
-Can I talk to you please?
880
01:06:30,529 --> 01:06:32,576
Space hedgehog, stay there. Try to rest.
881
01:06:32,698 --> 01:06:35,890
You got it. I am great at resting.
I rest better than anybody.
882
01:06:36,279 --> 01:06:37,664
Still talking.
883
01:06:37,792 --> 01:06:41,429
First of all, can we take a moment to
acknowledge how under control I've been.
884
01:06:41,544 --> 01:06:42,907
-Amazing.
-Didn't freak out.
885
01:06:43,024 --> 01:06:44,884
-No.
-Totally calm.
886
01:06:45,292 --> 01:06:46,836
Thank you.
887
01:06:47,554 --> 01:06:49,244
Second of all,
888
01:06:49,757 --> 01:06:52,700
what the heck is going on?!
Is that thing an alien?
889
01:06:52,856 --> 01:06:57,262
Okay, so, remember how Crazy Carl
is always going on about the Blue Devil?
890
01:06:58,141 --> 01:07:00,256
-That's him. He's real?
-Dah!
891
01:07:00,380 --> 01:07:02,851
What is he doing here?
What are you doing here?
892
01:07:03,992 --> 01:07:07,146
I kinda sorta shot our little blue friend
with your tranq gun.
893
01:07:07,271 --> 01:07:09,574
-No, you did not!
-I didn't-- I didn't mean to.
894
01:07:09,689 --> 01:07:11,745
Okay, this is kinda hard
for me to explain.
895
01:07:11,810 --> 01:07:13,546
And it's gonna sound a little bit crazy.
896
01:07:13,672 --> 01:07:17,022
He has to get to the Transamerica
building, and I promised I'd take him.
897
01:07:18,351 --> 01:07:19,486
Aliens?
898
01:07:19,751 --> 01:07:21,760
Maddie, your husband's
lost his mind.
899
01:07:21,907 --> 01:07:25,513
You can use this as an opportunity
to leave him. No one would judge you.
900
01:07:30,518 --> 01:07:32,896
So you won't hurt your feet anymore.
901
01:07:33,394 --> 01:07:34,752
Really?
902
01:07:35,721 --> 01:07:38,034
No one's ever given me a gift before.
903
01:07:38,843 --> 01:07:41,044
I gotta check it off my bucket list.
904
01:07:50,424 --> 01:07:52,345
All right. Lookin' good.
905
01:07:55,468 --> 01:07:56,628
Okay.
906
01:07:56,888 --> 01:07:59,789
You said you wanted to help
people in real trouble, right?
907
01:08:00,264 --> 01:08:01,639
Well, that's what you're doing.
908
01:08:01,834 --> 01:08:05,338
Blue alien hedgehogs
still count as people, right?
909
01:08:05,496 --> 01:08:06,752
-I think so, too.
-Yeah.
910
01:08:06,881 --> 01:08:08,397
-I think.
-Okay.
911
01:08:08,557 --> 01:08:12,247
I love you. Did I tell you that already?
I don't deserve you, you know that?
912
01:08:12,436 --> 01:08:13,983
I know that.
913
01:08:16,477 --> 01:08:17,465
So,
914
01:08:17,565 --> 01:08:21,149
you're supposed to be Tom's best friend
that he won't shut up about.
915
01:08:22,734 --> 01:08:24,560
Well, I don't see the appeal.
916
01:08:26,343 --> 01:08:29,036
Stop. That is very gross.
917
01:08:31,152 --> 01:08:32,207
-Hey.
-Hey.
918
01:08:32,319 --> 01:08:33,418
So,
919
01:08:33,551 --> 01:08:35,676
my truck still runs,
but it's pretty much total.
920
01:08:35,795 --> 01:08:37,992
You think your sister would mind
if we borrowed her car?
921
01:08:38,120 --> 01:08:39,912
You have got to be kidding me!
922
01:08:40,638 --> 01:08:42,867
-She'll be fine.
-Yes, let's do that.
923
01:08:43,212 --> 01:08:45,404
This is my house!
924
01:08:47,794 --> 01:08:51,088
Whoa, whoa... Now this is my turn.
And I pull around him.
925
01:08:51,236 --> 01:08:53,749
Sorry. And... perfect park.
926
01:08:54,050 --> 01:08:56,770
-What are you, crazy?
-Is there anything you didn't hit?
927
01:08:56,907 --> 01:08:59,660
-Why did we let the alien drive?
-Hey, I got us here.
928
01:08:59,824 --> 01:09:01,734
And please, five stars.
929
01:09:02,926 --> 01:09:04,286
So, this is it?
930
01:09:04,472 --> 01:09:06,119
That's it. That's your pyramid.
931
01:09:06,654 --> 01:09:09,721
-Wow! Look at that thing.
-What happens now?
932
01:09:10,627 --> 01:09:13,197
-Oh, he's... gone.
-Yup.
933
01:09:14,449 --> 01:09:17,157
No good. You need a special key
to get to the roof.
934
01:09:18,138 --> 01:09:19,714
What now?
935
01:09:19,877 --> 01:09:23,069
Time for me to abuse the power
entrusted to me.
936
01:09:32,927 --> 01:09:34,301
We got a jumper on the roof.
937
01:09:34,423 --> 01:09:37,752
Gotta get up there fast, or we gonna have
a human pancake on our hands.
938
01:09:37,923 --> 01:09:40,229
You came all the way from Montana?
939
01:09:40,480 --> 01:09:42,705
Yup, that's how serious it is.
940
01:09:47,145 --> 01:09:48,487
Okay.
941
01:09:49,906 --> 01:09:51,522
You just saved a life.
942
01:09:54,986 --> 01:09:56,346
Come on. Come on.
943
01:10:00,163 --> 01:10:02,812
How much longer?
I can't breathe in here.
944
01:10:04,988 --> 01:10:07,278
Hello? Anybody there?
945
01:10:07,442 --> 01:10:09,396
Do you have your child in that bag?
946
01:10:09,627 --> 01:10:10,770
No.
947
01:10:10,937 --> 01:10:13,384
I mean yes, it's a child,
but it's not mine.
948
01:10:14,506 --> 01:10:15,883
It's not your child?
949
01:10:16,247 --> 01:10:18,278
Relax, I'm a cop, okay?
950
01:10:18,400 --> 01:10:20,231
Plus he likes it in there,
don't you, buddy?
951
01:10:20,368 --> 01:10:21,665
Why would I like it in here?
952
01:10:21,805 --> 01:10:24,691
This is worse than the dog cage
you had me in earlier.
953
01:10:25,402 --> 01:10:27,144
Such a kidder.
954
01:10:28,150 --> 01:10:29,566
Okay.
955
01:10:29,677 --> 01:10:32,317
No, I'm scared of the dark!
Is anybody there?
956
01:10:45,507 --> 01:10:47,618
What were you keeping in this bag?
957
01:10:47,851 --> 01:10:49,581
A jar of pickled farts?
958
01:10:49,740 --> 01:10:52,024
All right, all right,
what are we looking for?
959
01:10:54,574 --> 01:10:55,852
This!
960
01:10:56,313 --> 01:10:58,441
Okay, what happens now?
961
01:10:58,551 --> 01:11:01,963
Now, all I have to do is think of where
I want the other end of the ring to appear,
962
01:11:02,093 --> 01:11:03,785
-and I throw it.
-So, that's it?
963
01:11:04,161 --> 01:11:06,088
-We did it?
-Yeah. We did it.
964
01:11:06,814 --> 01:11:10,303
Hey, sorry we didn't get to do
everything on your bucket list, pal.
965
01:11:10,467 --> 01:11:13,299
It's okay. I did the ones
I needed the most.
966
01:11:14,225 --> 01:11:17,923
-You two are so cute, like...
-Oh, please. What?
967
01:11:18,063 --> 01:11:20,105
-We are not.
-No, we're not cute.
968
01:11:20,245 --> 01:11:23,376
We are a couple of loose cannons
just living by our own rules.
969
01:11:23,500 --> 01:11:25,040
-Exactly. Yeah.
-Really?
970
01:11:25,183 --> 01:11:28,339
And our rules include expressing
heartfelt emotions.
971
01:11:28,490 --> 01:11:29,667
If you say so.
972
01:11:29,898 --> 01:11:31,404
Okay then.
973
01:11:31,687 --> 01:11:32,737
All right.
974
01:11:33,813 --> 01:11:35,813
-You gotta go, right?
-Yeah, I gotta go, so...
975
01:11:35,930 --> 01:11:39,102
-I gotta go. We gotta go, too.
-So, see-- All right. Bye bye.
976
01:11:43,298 --> 01:11:44,930
Just one more thing.
977
01:11:53,007 --> 01:11:55,142
I'm sorry I was so hard on you.
978
01:11:57,584 --> 01:12:00,411
I know it's a tough decision
for you to leave Green Hills.
979
01:12:00,779 --> 01:12:03,484
Walking away from something
you care about
980
01:12:03,954 --> 01:12:05,641
has to be painful.
981
01:12:05,775 --> 01:12:07,816
You're not sure you really wanna go, huh?
982
01:12:08,653 --> 01:12:11,558
I don't wanna go, but I can't stay.
983
01:12:12,097 --> 01:12:14,868
As long as I'm here
I put everyone in danger.
984
01:12:15,239 --> 01:12:16,734
I can't do that.
985
01:12:17,675 --> 01:12:20,393
I just want you to know
that these last two days
986
01:12:20,527 --> 01:12:24,276
have been the best two days of my life.
987
01:12:27,343 --> 01:12:29,014
You know I never though I'd say this
988
01:12:29,146 --> 01:12:31,656
but I'm actually gonna miss you,
you little Blue Devil.
989
01:12:31,803 --> 01:12:33,849
I'll miss you too, Donut Lord.
990
01:12:34,682 --> 01:12:35,839
Thank you.
991
01:12:36,550 --> 01:12:37,830
For what?
992
01:12:38,460 --> 01:12:40,041
For saving my life.
993
01:12:58,031 --> 01:13:00,932
Okay, did someone leave
their 'Find my Phone' on?
994
01:13:27,233 --> 01:13:30,294
Welcome to San Francisco, Mr. Wachowski.
995
01:13:30,978 --> 01:13:32,813
Are you enjoying the clam chowder?
996
01:13:32,927 --> 01:13:35,347
It's the government wack job
who keeps trying to kill us,
997
01:13:35,462 --> 01:13:36,291
unsuccessfully.
998
01:13:36,697 --> 01:13:38,775
Nice of you to swing by
on your way to Comic-Con.
999
01:13:38,907 --> 01:13:40,403
Yeah, what are you wearing?
1000
01:13:41,935 --> 01:13:43,411
It's a flight suit.
1001
01:13:43,591 --> 01:13:46,254
Designed to modulate my body temperature
and reduce drag.
1002
01:13:46,483 --> 01:13:48,378
Yeah, and yet you're still are one.
1003
01:13:48,794 --> 01:13:51,646
Good one, you are catching fire, Thomas.
1004
01:13:52,027 --> 01:13:54,932
Oh, and speaking of heat,
I see you've taken a lover.
1005
01:13:55,075 --> 01:13:58,636
Does she have a name, or should
we just call her 'collateral damage'?
1006
01:13:58,845 --> 01:14:00,057
Hey, watch your mouth!
1007
01:14:00,201 --> 01:14:02,628
Unless you want a little more
of what I gave you earlier?
1008
01:14:02,752 --> 01:14:03,833
Punched him in a face.
1009
01:14:03,950 --> 01:14:06,324
Oh, you punched him right in the face.
It was awesome.
1010
01:14:06,461 --> 01:14:09,360
The time for talking is over!
It's time to push buttons.
1011
01:14:09,493 --> 01:14:12,324
Your flying eggs are pretty impressive,
Mr. Eggman.
1012
01:14:12,556 --> 01:14:14,986
But let's face it, you'll never catch me.
1013
01:14:15,125 --> 01:14:16,652
Confidence,
1014
01:14:16,929 --> 01:14:19,218
a fool's substitute for intelligence.
1015
01:14:26,693 --> 01:14:28,373
That's not good.
1016
01:14:28,767 --> 01:14:31,966
Sonic, I know you got the super speed
and everything, but Maddie and I--
1017
01:14:32,089 --> 01:14:34,236
Totally defenseless,
probably gonna get blown up?
1018
01:14:34,357 --> 01:14:35,680
Pretty much, yeah.
1019
01:14:36,235 --> 01:14:38,959
Don't worry, I know exactly what to do.
1020
01:14:46,155 --> 01:14:48,137
I was not expecting that.
1021
01:14:48,417 --> 01:14:51,558
But I was expecting not to expect
something, so it doesn't count.
1022
01:15:51,916 --> 01:15:53,168
Come on!
1023
01:15:53,296 --> 01:15:55,492
Com-- Com--
Come on! Come on!
1024
01:16:21,964 --> 01:16:24,439
Hi Tom. Glad you're here.
1025
01:16:24,577 --> 01:16:27,789
Could use some help.
Old Bessie is about to give birth.
1026
01:16:28,455 --> 01:16:29,803
Give me a minute.
1027
01:16:32,515 --> 01:16:35,624
Can I give you one
genius piece of advice?
1028
01:16:36,215 --> 01:16:37,627
Don't run.
1029
01:16:37,767 --> 01:16:39,909
It'll only hurt more if you do.
1030
01:16:40,129 --> 01:16:42,505
And it's bad for your joints,
they proved it.
1031
01:16:42,648 --> 01:16:46,382
All right, Eggman, you wanna get fast?
Let's get fast.
1032
01:16:49,363 --> 01:16:51,284
The hard way it is.
1033
01:17:10,010 --> 01:17:12,311
That was an illegal left, by the way.
1034
01:17:14,578 --> 01:17:16,400
So, here we are again.
1035
01:17:16,542 --> 01:17:18,268
We've been through so much together.
1036
01:17:18,385 --> 01:17:20,909
Now you understand
why there's a psychotic robot-doctor
1037
01:17:21,040 --> 01:17:23,271
chasing a super sonic blue hedgehog.
1038
01:17:23,357 --> 01:17:24,619
Wanna know how it ends?
1039
01:17:24,769 --> 01:17:26,223
Yeah, me too.
1040
01:17:43,646 --> 01:17:47,054
How is this possible?! No one's ever
caught up to me before.
1041
01:17:54,829 --> 01:17:56,318
Coming through!
1042
01:17:59,275 --> 01:18:01,237
Excusez-moi, monsieur.
1043
01:18:05,159 --> 01:18:07,699
Here we go. Room to open it up.
1044
01:18:16,695 --> 01:18:18,207
I can't lose him!
1045
01:18:32,543 --> 01:18:35,119
If you can't beat him, blind him.
1046
01:18:38,117 --> 01:18:40,209
Lost visual contact.
1047
01:18:44,954 --> 01:18:47,001
You're not allowed up there!
1048
01:18:47,162 --> 01:18:49,298
It's one of the Seven Wonders.
1049
01:19:13,230 --> 01:19:15,517
-Get out of here!
-Go! Go!
1050
01:19:22,774 --> 01:19:25,799
You're an astonishing little creature.
1051
01:19:28,461 --> 01:19:30,463
It'll be funny to take you back to the lab
1052
01:19:30,619 --> 01:19:33,184
for a litany of invasive
exploratory procedures.
1053
01:19:33,826 --> 01:19:36,130
Any last words?
1054
01:19:36,327 --> 01:19:37,741
Guac.
1055
01:19:37,986 --> 01:19:39,627
I like that word.
1056
01:19:40,557 --> 01:19:43,026
I don't have to tell you
how many scientific breakthroughs
1057
01:19:43,159 --> 01:19:45,529
have been made possible
by animal testing.
1058
01:19:45,653 --> 01:19:47,004
You're being very selfish.
1059
01:19:47,145 --> 01:19:48,982
-Going my way?
-What a--
1060
01:19:54,575 --> 01:19:56,742
Who the hell do you think you are?!
1061
01:19:59,825 --> 01:20:01,813
I'm the Donut Lord, you son of a--
1062
01:20:06,407 --> 01:20:08,538
Autopilot, adjust.
1063
01:20:08,985 --> 01:20:10,146
Why?
1064
01:20:10,527 --> 01:20:13,717
Why would you throw
your life away for this thing?
1065
01:20:13,873 --> 01:20:15,416
That's why I don't have friends.
1066
01:20:15,574 --> 01:20:17,579
Next thing you know, you're
somebody's best man,
1067
01:20:17,726 --> 01:20:19,456
they wanna have
the wedding out of town.
1068
01:20:19,595 --> 01:20:21,679
Like nobody has
anything better to do!
1069
01:20:21,887 --> 01:20:23,911
Anyway, where were we?
1070
01:20:24,107 --> 01:20:25,217
Oh, yes,
1071
01:20:25,387 --> 01:20:27,124
you were about to die.
1072
01:20:29,050 --> 01:20:31,184
It's our Sheriff you're messing with.
1073
01:20:32,498 --> 01:20:34,177
Do you know Blue Devil?
1074
01:20:34,341 --> 01:20:37,371
Who everyone can see
is a very real creature,
1075
01:20:37,755 --> 01:20:40,724
and not at all invented by me!
1076
01:20:42,898 --> 01:20:44,868
-Be careful.
-Just-- pull it away--
1077
01:20:45,018 --> 01:20:46,207
Tom.
1078
01:20:59,506 --> 01:21:01,817
I don't mean to be indelicate here.
1079
01:21:02,183 --> 01:21:05,218
But someone should get some ice
to keep the body fresh.
1080
01:21:07,961 --> 01:21:10,610
He's just a silly little alien.
1081
01:21:10,846 --> 01:21:12,796
He didn't belong here!
1082
01:21:14,328 --> 01:21:15,898
That little alien
1083
01:21:16,527 --> 01:21:19,929
knew more about being human
than you ever will.
1084
01:21:20,726 --> 01:21:22,597
His name was Sonic.
1085
01:21:22,963 --> 01:21:24,775
This was his home.
1086
01:21:25,360 --> 01:21:27,251
And he was my friend.
1087
01:21:51,908 --> 01:21:53,544
He's all yours.
1088
01:21:54,810 --> 01:21:56,223
Everyone get back!
1089
01:21:59,713 --> 01:22:02,601
I think you have something
that belongs to me.
1090
01:22:13,313 --> 01:22:15,224
This is my power!
1091
01:22:15,412 --> 01:22:17,825
And I'm not using it
to run away anymore.
1092
01:22:18,006 --> 01:22:21,271
I'm using it to protect my friends!
1093
01:23:19,802 --> 01:23:21,150
Now you've done it!
1094
01:23:21,315 --> 01:23:24,014
Guess what, Eggman,
I'm not leaving Earth.
1095
01:23:24,185 --> 01:23:25,554
You are!
1096
01:23:25,692 --> 01:23:27,043
Donut Lord?
1097
01:24:15,899 --> 01:24:18,655
-Told you you got this.
-Hey, we got this.
1098
01:24:31,279 --> 01:24:33,916
-These belong to you.
-Thank you very much.
1099
01:24:34,754 --> 01:24:36,778
No more pushing people off the buildings.
1100
01:24:36,943 --> 01:24:38,568
You know I can't promise that.
1101
01:24:41,646 --> 01:24:44,748
-You did pretty good, space hog.
-Thanks, Donut Lord.
1102
01:24:44,897 --> 01:24:47,724
You gonna have to explain
this 'Donut Lord' thing.
1103
01:24:47,879 --> 01:24:50,430
Nope, sorry, that's for me
and our little guy. Right?
1104
01:24:50,729 --> 01:24:52,874
We got our thing, you got
your thing with your...
1105
01:24:52,993 --> 01:24:54,611
-sister.
-Oh my God, my sister.
1106
01:24:54,778 --> 01:24:57,110
Gotta go fast. Gotta go fast.
1107
01:24:58,861 --> 01:25:00,920
Jojo, put on my Fitbit.
1108
01:25:01,716 --> 01:25:03,534
Then I'll at least get some steps.
1109
01:25:03,688 --> 01:25:05,517
We can never go back there.
1110
01:25:06,395 --> 01:25:07,927
I mean, are we?
1111
01:25:09,958 --> 01:25:12,335
'Cause it kinda feels like
we're home right now.
1112
01:25:12,840 --> 01:25:14,549
Really?
1113
01:25:15,719 --> 01:25:18,244
I kinda feel like I checked
the 'save the life'
1114
01:25:18,412 --> 01:25:20,263
box off my bucket list.
1115
01:25:22,696 --> 01:25:26,445
Now all I wanna do is to spend my life
with the people I care about.
1116
01:25:27,914 --> 01:25:29,970
I wanna check that box.
1117
01:25:30,423 --> 01:25:32,335
Okay. I like that.
1118
01:25:32,608 --> 01:25:35,166
All right, everybody. Nothing to see here.
1119
01:25:35,704 --> 01:25:38,373
Disperse. Just another
ordinary day in Green Hills.
1120
01:25:38,524 --> 01:25:40,347
Carl, I'll take that chainsaw.
1121
01:25:40,643 --> 01:25:42,429
Come on, let's go!
1122
01:25:42,621 --> 01:25:44,786
You act like you've never seen
a fight between
1123
01:25:44,939 --> 01:25:48,891
an intergalactic space rodent
and a robot with a doctorate.
1124
01:25:58,031 --> 01:25:59,493
You got enough there?
1125
01:25:59,762 --> 01:26:01,823
-Yes, Mr. Manager.
-You need any more?
1126
01:26:02,052 --> 01:26:03,375
Get that--
1127
01:26:14,041 --> 01:26:16,038
Mr. and Mrs. Wachowski?
1128
01:26:16,706 --> 01:26:18,049
Yes?
1129
01:26:20,103 --> 01:26:22,203
A token of appreciation
from your government.
1130
01:26:22,370 --> 01:26:25,668
For keeping quiet about recent
incidents, which never occurred.
1131
01:26:27,740 --> 01:26:29,009
Wow!
1132
01:26:29,389 --> 01:26:31,907
-Wonder what it is.
-Money to fix the house?
1133
01:26:32,072 --> 01:26:34,325
-Letter from the President?
-You'll see.
1134
01:26:34,767 --> 01:26:36,257
Okay.
1135
01:26:39,165 --> 01:26:41,377
-Olive Garden?
-Yeah.
1136
01:26:41,665 --> 01:26:43,203
The way you said "you'll see"
1137
01:26:43,367 --> 01:26:45,933
made me think it was something
better than the things we said.
1138
01:26:46,076 --> 01:26:48,289
Have you tried their
'Never Ending Pasta Bowl'?
1139
01:26:48,516 --> 01:26:50,146
It never ends.
1140
01:26:50,368 --> 01:26:52,094
That sounds fancy.
1141
01:26:52,300 --> 01:26:55,054
Well, thank you.
We appreciate the gesture.
1142
01:26:55,685 --> 01:26:58,825
Oh, hey, I guess we can close
the file on that Robotnik guy, huh?
1143
01:26:58,993 --> 01:27:00,381
Just disappeared?
1144
01:27:00,540 --> 01:27:04,417
I'm sorry, but, no such person exists,
or ever has existed.
1145
01:27:05,656 --> 01:27:06,846
I wish that was true.
1146
01:27:07,012 --> 01:27:08,870
You haven't by any chance been in contact
1147
01:27:09,013 --> 01:27:11,585
with a certain alien creature
since the incident, have you?
1148
01:27:11,757 --> 01:27:13,649
Uncle Sam would love
to have a chat with him.
1149
01:27:13,832 --> 01:27:16,211
Very casual, brunch perhaps.
1150
01:27:17,798 --> 01:27:20,825
Oh, you mean the little blue guy?
No, no. Nothing.
1151
01:27:21,832 --> 01:27:24,010
Doubt we'll ever hear from him again.
1152
01:27:25,375 --> 01:27:27,557
-Very well.
-Okay.
1153
01:27:28,052 --> 01:27:29,894
-Thank you.
-Great.
1154
01:27:32,124 --> 01:27:33,425
Yup.
1155
01:27:36,649 --> 01:27:39,347
To be honest, I'm pretty pumped
about the pasta bowl.
1156
01:27:39,871 --> 01:27:41,739
So, you guys wanna watch a movie or what?
1157
01:27:41,874 --> 01:27:45,119
Sorry, buddy, it's a school night,
it's time for you to go back to your cave.
1158
01:27:45,238 --> 01:27:46,848
What? It's three in the afternoon!
1159
01:27:46,982 --> 01:27:48,911
You know how you get
when you're tired, come on.
1160
01:27:49,034 --> 01:27:50,516
Me? I'm not like anything.
1161
01:27:50,656 --> 01:27:53,676
-You guys are so uncool.
-Yeah, yeah. We know.
1162
01:27:54,305 --> 01:27:57,601
-Hey, buddy, where are you going?
-You said I have to go back to my cave.
1163
01:27:57,737 --> 01:27:58,919
We did.
1164
01:28:14,493 --> 01:28:16,698
Oh my-- Are you kidding me?
1165
01:28:17,578 --> 01:28:19,222
I can't believe it.
1166
01:28:19,534 --> 01:28:20,770
How did you--
1167
01:28:21,467 --> 01:28:23,736
It-- This is-- It's all here.
1168
01:28:33,979 --> 01:28:37,058
Look at this! Are you kidding?
And the bean bag? No way!
1169
01:28:37,824 --> 01:28:40,418
How did you even get this?
How did you get it all over?
1170
01:28:41,408 --> 01:28:43,291
I love it, I love it!
1171
01:28:46,838 --> 01:28:49,578
Well, welcome home.
1172
01:28:49,814 --> 01:28:52,291
Thank you so much.
1173
01:29:01,126 --> 01:29:02,606
Oh, no, you don't.
1174
01:29:02,772 --> 01:29:05,784
No second best animal friends
allowed in my room.
1175
01:29:06,283 --> 01:29:08,556
Wait, what are you doing?
Stay away from me.
1176
01:29:08,969 --> 01:29:11,663
Stop it. I'm warning you,
I've got nunchucks.
1177
01:29:11,842 --> 01:29:14,365
Hey, stop. Okay, you can stay.
1178
01:29:31,694 --> 01:29:35,042
My grasp on sanity remains absolute.
1179
01:29:36,839 --> 01:29:38,693
Isn't that right, Agent Stone?
1180
01:29:43,488 --> 01:29:45,805
Why don't you get a head start.
1181
01:29:47,722 --> 01:29:50,026
Do some rockconnaissance.
1182
01:29:50,943 --> 01:29:53,683
Rockconnaissance.
Come on, that's hilarious.
1183
01:29:53,840 --> 01:29:55,656
What's the matter with you?!
1184
01:29:55,972 --> 01:29:59,310
Here's the sitch. Uninhabited planet.
1185
01:30:00,659 --> 01:30:02,921
No resources. No supplies.
1186
01:30:03,185 --> 01:30:05,002
No apparent way home.
1187
01:30:07,086 --> 01:30:09,355
A lesser man would die here.
1188
01:30:11,923 --> 01:30:14,151
I'll be home by Christmas.
1189
01:30:33,087 --> 01:30:35,563
Rockconnaissance!
1190
01:30:38,384 --> 01:30:40,208
Come on, cheer up!
1191
01:30:40,529 --> 01:30:44,359
There is a post-credits scene
at 01:32:18! Stay tuned.
1192
01:30:44,749 --> 01:30:49,466
Subtitles by sub.Trader
subscene.com
1193
01:32:42,339 --> 01:32:44,772
If these readings are accurate, he's here.
1194
01:32:44,935 --> 01:32:46,255
I found him!
1195
01:32:46,391 --> 01:32:48,170
I just hope I'm not too late.