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Subtitles by sub.Trader
subscene.com
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So... I know what you're thinking.
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Why is that incredibly handsome hedgehog
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being chased by a mad man
with a mustache from the civil war?
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Gotta be honest, it feels like
I've been running my whole life.
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Is this too much? Am I going too fast?
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It's kinda what I do.
You know what? Let's back up.
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This is the island where I am from.
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It had everything: sandy beaches,
cascading waterfalls,
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public access to loop-de-loops.
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And I never had to catch a school bus
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because I can run across the entire island
in less than two seconds.
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Also, there was no school.
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I know, pretty sweet island, right?
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I was born with extraordinary powers,
and was told to keep them in secret.
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And like any kid, I did the exact opposite.
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That's Longclaw, she took care of me.
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She was basically Obi-Wan Kenobi,
if Obi-Wan Kenobi had a beak and ate mice.
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Sonic, someone could've seen you!
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No one saw me. I am too fast!
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And, I wanted to bring you this.
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Get down!
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Turns out with great power
comes great power-hungry bad guys.
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And I let them right to us.
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Listen carefully, Sonic.
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You have a power unlike anything
I've ever seen.
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And that means someone
will always want it.
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The only way to stay safe
is to stay hidden.
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This word is on the farthest side
of the universe. You should be safe there.
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-I don't wanna go without you!
-You must!
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These rings will be your most important
possession.
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If you ever discovered, use one.
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Never stop running. Now go!
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Longclaw!
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-Goodbye, Sonic.
-No!
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No!
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C'mon, one car?
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I'm bored.
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Tom, do you read me?
Are you there?
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No, Wade, I'm actually on a yacht
in Barbados
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with Rihanna.
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OMG. That's amazing, please send pics.
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No, Wade, I'm at the speed trap.
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Already? How did you get back so fast?
Barbados is in the ocean.
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Hang on, I think I got something.
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Hey, buddy, where's the fire?
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We've got kids living around here.
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It was kinda funny, sorry.
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What?
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Tom, we need you down on Main Street.
There's been a violent gang shoot-out.
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Just kidding, a dog stole a bagel.
But they do need it back.
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Buddy, you almost got yourself killed
out there.
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What are you, some kind
of an adrenaline junkie?
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Must be rough being slow all the time.
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I'll tell you what,
today is your lucky day.
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Have you ever felt so alive?
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This is great, you're doing amazing.
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Oh, jeez!
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Good recovery!
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Let's keep this our little secret, okay?
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You never saw me.
I was never here.
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So, what were you expecting?
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A dirty little hedgehog eating berries,
and struggling to survive?
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Think again, because I am living
my best life on Earth.
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I've got a library.
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A home gym.
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And a state of the art security system.
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Oh, no!
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And if I ever discovered,
I'll follow Longclaw's instructions,
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and use my rings
to escape to a new planet.
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A nice, safe little world
filled only with mushrooms.
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Gross, smelly mushrooms...
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I hate mushrooms.
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But let's not worry about all of that.
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This is Green Hills.
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The greatest place on Earth.
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These are my people, and there, I say,
I am their lovable space creature.
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So what if they don't know I exist?
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My favorite person is the Donut Lord.
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Protector of this town,
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and defender of all creatures,
big and small.
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Morning, Donald, Daisy, Daffy.
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Donut Lord lives with Pretzel Lady.
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She is super nice to animals,
and strangely was born without bones.
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There is one person in town
who's actually onto me.
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He calls me The Blue Devil.
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-I almost caught him last night.
-Say hello to Crazy Carl.
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We have fun together.
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I know you're out there!
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And I know you're real!
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No, I'm not.
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Movie night is my favorite.
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Please, please...
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Yes! Keanu, you are a national treasure.
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-When I find you--
-Pop quiz hot-shot.
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There's a bomb on the bus.
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Pop quiz hot-shot.
The classic line.
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Basically, we're like a family,
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even though we haven't met yet.
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You don't think your prolonged isolation
is making you a bit crazy perhaps?
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Crazy? Me? No way, Doc.
You got me all wrong.
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And despite all these
so called friends of yours,
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deep down you are still rather lonely?
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Perhaps afraid you'll be alone forever?
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Hey! No, no...
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Get out of there! Come on!
Oh, come on! Get out of there!
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Get out of there, you trash pandas!
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Maddie, as Green Hills
most respected veterinary,
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what is the fastest way
to exterminate a racoon?
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Hi, Ozzy. Hello.
You're glad to see me?
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You don't eat garbage, do you?
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What's that?
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-Is that what I think it is?
-Open it.
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-It's kinda small, is that bad?
-Just... open it.
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Dear Thomas, we have reviewed
your application
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to the San Francisco Police Department,
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and pending inter departmental review
and background check.
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And we are happy to inform you that you
have been selected to join our team.
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Wow! Oh my God!
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San Francisco sucks?
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Wrong one.
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-You never had a doubt, huh?
-No!
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-I can't believe this!
-I know. You did it!
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What are those?
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Apartments for rent I found on Zillow.
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I though Ozzy and I
can fly there tomorrow,
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and check out some neighborhoods.
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I mean, this is all happening so fast.
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00:11:09,032 --> 00:11:13,790
Man, it's the craziest thing,
you apply for the job, you get the job.
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00:11:13,921 --> 00:11:16,050
-Well, pending a background check.
-Oh, man,
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hope they don't find out about that time
you used the neighbor's WiFi.
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Correction, I'm still using
the neighbor's WiFi.
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But, Maddie...
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Are you sure you're okay with this?
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Thomas Michael Wachowski,
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what did you do the entire time
I was in a veterinary school?
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00:11:30,692 --> 00:11:32,681
I worked the second job
to pay the rent, and--
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00:11:32,794 --> 00:11:34,698
A third job to pay tuition.
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You sacrificed for me,
I'm happy to sacrifice for you.
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00:11:39,826 --> 00:11:42,734
Babe, are you sure you're okay with this?
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00:11:43,510 --> 00:11:47,760
I mean, there's been a Wachowski
protecting this town for more than 50 years.
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00:11:48,769 --> 00:11:50,766
This is a big change.
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I'm positive.
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00:11:53,827 --> 00:11:56,235
It's time for this guy to get out there
and prove himself.
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00:11:56,366 --> 00:11:58,223
I love Green Hills, but...
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00:11:58,368 --> 00:12:00,669
You know, I wanna help people
in real trouble.
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00:12:01,029 --> 00:12:03,789
I want someone to turn to me
in a life-or-death situation,
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and I'll be there for them.
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00:12:06,161 --> 00:12:10,273
-I get it. I'm so proud of you.
-Thank you.
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And so it is with a heavy heart,
that I tell you all
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that I've accepted a position
at the San Francisco Police Department
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effective immediately.
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It's gonna be tough to leave my home town,
and all my friendships.
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00:12:23,158 --> 00:12:25,952
But this is something
I feel like I need to do,
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to grow, as both an officer, and a man.
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What do you think, Sergeant Sprinkles?
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That wasn't so bad, right?
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Now all I gotta do is...
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tell everyone who isn't a donut.
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Whoa, the play-offs.
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So cool.
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We're at the ninth, tie score.
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And exactly who you want at the plate
with a game on the line, Sonic.
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But staring him down
from the pitcher's mound
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is the most fearsome southpaw
in Green Hills, also Sonic.
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Okay, focus, Sonic.
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If you win this game you'll be
the most beloved kid in Green Hills.
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00:14:00,908 --> 00:14:04,586
Hit it to the guy in left,
he's a real space case.
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00:14:07,845 --> 00:14:09,457
I can't with that guy.
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00:14:09,646 --> 00:14:13,759
Hey, batter Sonic, hey, batter Sonic,
is so in batter Sonic.
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I got it, I got it...
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I don't got it.
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Go home! Go home!
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Come on!
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Safe!
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Yes! Yes! I did it!
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00:14:48,996 --> 00:14:51,701
Did you see that? I did it! I did it.
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I really am alone.
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All alone. Forever.
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I'm sure no one noticed
that giant blue explosion, right?
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-Hey, Wade.
-Hi, Tom. Wade here.
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What is going on?
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00:16:03,318 --> 00:16:05,706
-Oh Gosh, I think the power is out.
-Yap, dur.
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00:16:05,834 --> 00:16:08,353
The lights are out.
The whole town is freaking out.
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00:16:08,753 --> 00:16:10,446
-What should I do?
-Okay. Relax.
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00:16:10,572 --> 00:16:12,410
Take a deep breath, call Gil,
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00:16:12,536 --> 00:16:15,024
see if they can locate
the down line, then...
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00:16:15,515 --> 00:16:18,317
call Zim, and see if he can get
his generator over to the Super Cue
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00:16:18,456 --> 00:16:23,339
-so the food stays fresh.
-Call Zim before Gil?
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00:16:23,887 --> 00:16:26,300
-Call Gil-- Hello? Wait. Wait!
-I'll call you back.
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00:16:26,446 --> 00:16:28,985
Hello? Was that the end
of the instructions?
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00:16:30,014 --> 00:16:32,675
Okay. All right. You can do this.
193
00:16:33,521 --> 00:16:36,734
What was the first thing he said to do?
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00:16:38,311 --> 00:16:40,370
Right. Relax.
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00:17:00,681 --> 00:17:03,585
Twenty minutes ago an energy surge
knocked our power
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00:17:03,735 --> 00:17:06,304
across the entire Pacific Northwest.
What do we know?
197
00:17:06,503 --> 00:17:08,868
Our first instinct was it was an EMP.
198
00:17:09,639 --> 00:17:12,369
But electromagnetic pulses
don't have that kind of power.
199
00:17:12,551 --> 00:17:15,001
NASA has ruled out
meteor strikes or solar flares.
200
00:17:15,131 --> 00:17:18,074
The Department of Energy says
it's not a power plant malfunction.
201
00:17:18,178 --> 00:17:21,009
Sounds like we're really good
at figuring out what it wasn't.
202
00:17:21,137 --> 00:17:23,227
This could be a prelude
to a larger attack.
203
00:17:23,366 --> 00:17:26,584
I'm suggesting we scramble
the fifth and sixth regiment. - No, no...
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00:17:26,740 --> 00:17:30,925
This needs a much more sophisticated mind.
Someone who understands technology.
205
00:17:31,082 --> 00:17:33,769
-You wanna send in a lab rat?
-Not just any lab rat.
206
00:17:33,934 --> 00:17:35,094
A lab rat with the teeth.
207
00:17:35,196 --> 00:17:37,612
You're not suggesting who I think
you're suggesting.
208
00:17:37,726 --> 00:17:39,636
-I know he's a little weird--
-Weird?
209
00:17:39,754 --> 00:17:42,217
-No, no. No way!
-He's a psychological terrifier.
210
00:17:42,342 --> 00:17:45,650
But he's also brilliant. Five PhDs.
IQ off the charts.
211
00:17:45,812 --> 00:17:48,438
And his drone tech is revolutionary.
212
00:17:48,592 --> 00:17:52,310
-You're sure he can handle this?
-He has a perfect operations record.
213
00:17:52,618 --> 00:17:54,521
-Remember the coup in Pakistan?
-No.
214
00:17:54,657 --> 00:17:57,382
-Or the uprising in Azerbaijanistan?
-It's not even a country.
215
00:17:57,514 --> 00:18:00,508
Exactly. And you can thank
Robotnik for that.
216
00:18:00,646 --> 00:18:03,909
I can't believe you're bringing
that freak into this.
217
00:18:04,162 --> 00:18:06,540
Neither can I, but...
218
00:18:06,840 --> 00:18:08,487
We have no choice.
219
00:18:16,531 --> 00:18:18,095
Guys, coming up!
220
00:18:19,557 --> 00:18:21,052
Yes, Major.
221
00:18:34,257 --> 00:18:35,334
What a--
222
00:18:56,848 --> 00:18:58,163
Are you in charge here?
223
00:18:58,285 --> 00:19:00,700
-Yes, I am.
-No. Wrong!
224
00:19:00,869 --> 00:19:02,143
-Name--
-I'm in charge!
225
00:19:02,292 --> 00:19:03,640
-Me!
-Is Major--
226
00:19:03,803 --> 00:19:05,776
-Ben--
-I'm in charge.
227
00:19:06,879 --> 00:19:08,989
You've never seen anything
like this before?
228
00:19:09,224 --> 00:19:13,567
It says I'm a top banana in a world
full of hungry little monkeys.
229
00:19:13,692 --> 00:19:15,410
Allow me to clarify.
230
00:19:15,990 --> 00:19:18,921
In a sequentially ranked hierarchy
based on level of critical importance
231
00:19:19,051 --> 00:19:22,109
the disparity between us
is too vast to quantify. Agent Stone.
232
00:19:22,279 --> 00:19:25,883
-The Doctor thinks you're basic.
-I'm initiating a sweep sequence.
233
00:19:26,106 --> 00:19:28,619
Ten miles in every direction
should suffice.
234
00:19:29,579 --> 00:19:31,542
-Is he still looking at me funny?
-Yes, he is.
235
00:19:31,684 --> 00:19:33,812
Tell him to stop or I'll pull out
his search history.
236
00:19:33,925 --> 00:19:36,466
If you don't stop looking, the Doctor,
he'll take a closer look--
237
00:19:36,616 --> 00:19:39,748
-I'm not deaf.
-And tell him his men report to me now.
238
00:19:40,551 --> 00:19:43,353
Excuse me? Listen, pal,
I don't know if you're realize--
239
00:19:43,482 --> 00:19:45,163
I'm sorry, Major, what was your name?
240
00:19:45,307 --> 00:19:48,751
-Benning--
-Nobody cares! Nobody cares.
241
00:19:49,043 --> 00:19:51,251
Listen, Major Nobodycares.
242
00:19:51,397 --> 00:19:53,547
You know why
nobody cares who you are?
243
00:19:53,818 --> 00:19:56,566
Because nobody cares about your feeble
accomplishments.
244
00:19:56,697 --> 00:19:59,172
And nobody cares about how proud
your Mommy is
245
00:19:59,324 --> 00:20:01,756
that you're now reading
at a third grade level.
246
00:20:02,472 --> 00:20:06,469
Have you finished 'Charlotte's Web' yet?
Spoiler alert, she dies in the end.
247
00:20:06,599 --> 00:20:09,230
But she leaves a big creepy egg sac.
248
00:20:10,842 --> 00:20:12,999
Oh, my babies.
249
00:20:13,738 --> 00:20:16,127
Look what came out of my egg sac.
250
00:20:16,316 --> 00:20:18,399
You know what I love about machines?
251
00:20:19,325 --> 00:20:22,458
They do what they're told.
They follow their programming.
252
00:20:22,644 --> 00:20:26,218
They don't need time-off to get drunk,
and put the boat in the water.
253
00:20:26,633 --> 00:20:28,557
And you do what you're told.
254
00:20:28,703 --> 00:20:31,184
Stand over there on the edge
of your personal abyss.
255
00:20:32,257 --> 00:20:34,687
And watch my machines do your job.
256
00:20:37,113 --> 00:20:39,904
-Can you feel it, Stone?
-I can feel it, Doctor.
257
00:20:40,292 --> 00:20:41,892
It's evolution, Stone.
258
00:20:43,248 --> 00:20:45,059
It's evolution!
259
00:21:20,261 --> 00:21:22,419
-Agent Stone?
-Doctor.
260
00:21:22,861 --> 00:21:25,071
Do you see anything useful in this image?
261
00:21:25,965 --> 00:21:28,382
-Nothing at all, Doctor.
-Of course you don't.
262
00:21:28,712 --> 00:21:30,701
Your eyes weren't expertly trained
to spot tracks
263
00:21:30,864 --> 00:21:33,131
by the Native American Shadow Wolves.
264
00:21:43,251 --> 00:21:44,791
That's extraordinary.
265
00:21:44,989 --> 00:21:47,169
No, what extraordinary is...
266
00:21:47,322 --> 00:21:51,003
I determined the exact height, weight,
and spinal curvature of this creature.
267
00:21:51,168 --> 00:21:54,028
And my computer can't find
a single match for it, anywhere
268
00:21:54,374 --> 00:21:56,603
in Earth's animal kingdom.
269
00:21:56,904 --> 00:22:01,191
This blackout was not a terrorist attack,
and that's no baby Bigfoot.
270
00:22:01,748 --> 00:22:04,859
This guy is something else
271
00:22:06,532 --> 00:22:08,244
entirely.
272
00:22:08,606 --> 00:22:11,410
Divert all search units
to the site of the footprint.
273
00:22:12,005 --> 00:22:14,449
That's one small step for man,
274
00:22:14,607 --> 00:22:16,934
one giant leap for me.
275
00:22:28,262 --> 00:22:30,212
Okay, okay. Everything is fine.
276
00:22:30,372 --> 00:22:32,424
You played some baseball,
got a little upset.
277
00:22:32,573 --> 00:22:35,834
Lightning shut out of your butt,
and now they're coming for you.
278
00:22:36,464 --> 00:22:38,528
All right, all right.
Earth isn't safe anymore.
279
00:22:38,658 --> 00:22:41,484
Time for plan B - Mushroomville.
I gotta take my stuff.
280
00:22:41,585 --> 00:22:43,472
Okay, essential items only.
281
00:22:43,615 --> 00:22:46,372
Okay, toothbrush, toothpaste,
hair gel, night light, funny hat.
282
00:22:46,753 --> 00:22:49,620
This half-eaten cantaloupe,
and my scented candle.
283
00:22:49,972 --> 00:22:51,606
My entire comic book collection.
284
00:22:51,720 --> 00:22:54,391
Bean bag chair, can a bean bag chair
fit in the backpack? No, no.
285
00:22:54,586 --> 00:22:56,004
Of course not. That's stupid.
286
00:22:56,149 --> 00:22:59,424
Okay, what else? The rings!
The rings, yes, of course!
287
00:23:00,771 --> 00:23:04,122
Here we go. Ring time.
Mushroom planet, here I come.
288
00:23:04,828 --> 00:23:07,823
Oh, no! They're right outside,
I gotta go somewhere else.
289
00:23:12,620 --> 00:23:14,457
Goodbye, cave.
290
00:23:18,474 --> 00:23:19,964
-Hi.
-Hey.
291
00:23:20,132 --> 00:23:21,172
What are you doing?
292
00:23:21,327 --> 00:23:24,055
Just coloring with Jojo and Rachel.
293
00:23:24,415 --> 00:23:26,068
That sounds half-fun.
294
00:23:26,213 --> 00:23:28,523
Hey, exciting stuff here.
We had a power outage.
295
00:23:28,676 --> 00:23:30,481
The whole town went dark.
296
00:23:30,600 --> 00:23:32,778
It was like a sign telling me
to get outta Dodge.
297
00:23:32,811 --> 00:23:34,783
-Wade must've lost his mind.
-Yeah.
298
00:23:35,022 --> 00:23:36,938
And he does not have much to lose.
299
00:23:37,172 --> 00:23:39,758
How's your sister? Does she
convince you to leave me yet?
300
00:23:39,889 --> 00:23:43,203
No, but she did tell me to check
your phone for dating apps.
301
00:23:43,354 --> 00:23:45,785
The only apps on my phone
are the ones that came with it.
302
00:23:45,947 --> 00:23:48,158
-And the Olive Garden.
-Ah, because when you're there--
303
00:23:48,289 --> 00:23:50,001
You're family.
304
00:23:51,626 --> 00:23:53,322
No way!
305
00:23:55,830 --> 00:23:59,078
The racoons are back.
And they are in for a surprise.
306
00:23:59,205 --> 00:24:02,584
Your surprise better not be
my tranquilizer gun. They're just hungry.
307
00:24:02,844 --> 00:24:05,313
And also, that's for bears.
308
00:24:06,205 --> 00:24:08,245
-Good, now I know it'll work.
-Tom!
309
00:24:08,425 --> 00:24:10,799
I'm kidding, I'm just gonna use it
to scare them.
310
00:24:10,913 --> 00:24:13,461
-Possibly to death. Love you, honey, bye.
-To--
311
00:24:18,006 --> 00:24:20,732
D-I-V-O-R-S-E.
312
00:24:22,847 --> 00:24:26,688
Okay, I'm in. With minimal damage
to Donut Lord's property.
313
00:24:27,820 --> 00:24:28,764
Here we go.
314
00:24:28,871 --> 00:24:32,194
Didn't work out on Earth, but that's okay.
You're going to a safe world.
315
00:24:32,330 --> 00:24:37,775
A nice safe world full of mushrooms.
Mushrooms there will be your only friends.
316
00:24:37,863 --> 00:24:39,821
That sounds awful, I can't do this.
317
00:24:39,966 --> 00:24:42,212
You have to do it,
there's no other option.
318
00:24:44,191 --> 00:24:45,618
All right.
319
00:24:46,642 --> 00:24:50,017
SFPD, pending background check.
Paws in the air!
320
00:24:52,634 --> 00:24:54,790
Uhhh... meow?
321
00:25:03,444 --> 00:25:06,378
San Francisco?
322
00:25:28,578 --> 00:25:30,024
No.
323
00:25:34,579 --> 00:25:35,784
What?
324
00:25:58,556 --> 00:26:00,184
The Blue Devil.
325
00:26:13,160 --> 00:26:15,038
-Donut Lord?
-You can talk?
326
00:26:16,085 --> 00:26:17,264
You're not--
327
00:26:17,428 --> 00:26:20,439
-You're not here to abduct me, are you?
-You abducted me!
328
00:26:21,702 --> 00:26:23,968
Okay, it's a fair point. What are you?
329
00:26:24,200 --> 00:26:25,898
Why are you hiding out in my garage?
330
00:26:26,032 --> 00:26:27,232
I needed somewhere safe,
331
00:26:27,378 --> 00:26:29,919
and you are the only person
I could think of, Donut Lord.
332
00:26:30,047 --> 00:26:32,803
-Why do you keep calling me Donut Lord?
-'Cause you talk to donuts,
333
00:26:32,962 --> 00:26:34,840
and then eat them
if they get out of the line.
334
00:26:34,968 --> 00:26:37,267
-Again, fair.
-Wait... Where are all the mushrooms?
335
00:26:37,403 --> 00:26:41,915
Why am I still on Earth? What did--
Oh, no, I lost my rings!
336
00:26:42,032 --> 00:26:43,431
What?
337
00:26:48,902 --> 00:26:51,297
What's happening?
Is this your mothership?
338
00:26:52,364 --> 00:26:54,930
-I'm not in the mood to get probed.
-You think you're worried?
339
00:26:55,055 --> 00:26:56,697
I'm not even wearing pants.
340
00:27:00,221 --> 00:27:01,576
What a--
341
00:27:02,977 --> 00:27:05,222
-They're coming for me!
-Who's coming for you?
342
00:27:05,314 --> 00:27:07,970
-What does that have to do with me?
-I don't have time to explain,
343
00:27:08,097 --> 00:27:10,783
-but you have to help me.
-No, I don't. Why?
344
00:27:10,932 --> 00:27:14,254
Well, my legs, which normally
would be classified as lethal weapons
345
00:27:14,400 --> 00:27:15,574
feel like spaghetti.
346
00:27:15,672 --> 00:27:18,815
I need your help, please.
It's life or death.
347
00:27:26,210 --> 00:27:28,030
Fine, come with me.
348
00:27:31,447 --> 00:27:33,061
Little help?
349
00:27:43,922 --> 00:27:47,100
-All right, stay here. And be quiet.
-Good plan, great plan.
350
00:27:47,239 --> 00:27:51,100
How are we working so well together?
Practically finishing each other sentences.
351
00:27:52,390 --> 00:27:53,558
Okay, bye.
352
00:27:57,004 --> 00:27:58,494
Hello there.
353
00:27:59,203 --> 00:28:00,747
Can I help you?
354
00:28:04,176 --> 00:28:06,250
Good morning, my rural chum.
355
00:28:06,746 --> 00:28:07,873
I'm...
356
00:28:08,162 --> 00:28:10,629
from the power company,
investigating the blackout.
357
00:28:10,781 --> 00:28:14,028
If you don't mind I'd like to take
a few readings inside your house?
358
00:28:14,151 --> 00:28:16,088
No kidding, you're from
the power company?
359
00:28:16,224 --> 00:28:19,165
You must know my buddy Spencer.
We play softball together.
360
00:28:19,309 --> 00:28:21,948
Spence, he's a good man.
361
00:28:23,229 --> 00:28:25,776
-Yeah, yeah... come on in!
-Great.
362
00:28:25,919 --> 00:28:28,218
Take all the readings
you need. Except...
363
00:28:29,184 --> 00:28:32,453
Don't the power company usually take
their readings from outside the house?
364
00:28:32,571 --> 00:28:34,844
That way they can check
even if you're not home.
365
00:28:35,108 --> 00:28:37,598
Also, my buddy Spencer
works at the gas company.
366
00:28:37,724 --> 00:28:40,667
And he's more of an ultimate Frisbee guy.
So, you wanna tell me why
367
00:28:40,964 --> 00:28:44,274
you think I'm dumb enough
to just let you walk inside my house?
368
00:28:52,216 --> 00:28:54,729
-I'm sorry, Mr..?
-Wachowski.
369
00:28:54,880 --> 00:28:56,424
But everyone calls me Tom.
370
00:28:56,642 --> 00:28:58,662
Except my dentist, he calls me Tim.
371
00:28:58,795 --> 00:29:02,266
But it's go on for so long now that
it would be just weird if I corrected him.
372
00:29:02,412 --> 00:29:04,513
Well, Tom, whose dentist calls him Tim.
373
00:29:04,661 --> 00:29:08,697
You may have noticed that this entire town
has been experiencing a power outage.
374
00:29:08,838 --> 00:29:10,665
Yup, no lights, picked up on that.
375
00:29:10,716 --> 00:29:12,736
Twenty minutes ago I tracked
an energy pulse
376
00:29:12,865 --> 00:29:16,013
with the similar signature to the one
that caused that disruption.
377
00:29:30,693 --> 00:29:32,455
Listen, Mr..?
378
00:29:32,602 --> 00:29:35,167
Doctor. Doctor Robotnik.
379
00:29:35,346 --> 00:29:37,206
But my dentist calls me Rob.
380
00:29:38,498 --> 00:29:41,585
Look, Doctor Robotskiz...
381
00:29:42,108 --> 00:29:44,156
I'm sure what you're here for
is very serious,
382
00:29:44,286 --> 00:29:47,095
but it's got nothing to do with me,
you can ask anyone in town.
383
00:29:47,209 --> 00:29:48,897
-Everyone knows me.
-I bet they do.
384
00:29:49,046 --> 00:29:51,459
I'm sure you hella popular
with a Gabs and Murls
385
00:29:51,680 --> 00:29:54,789
and Billy Bobs in this glorified
gas station rest stop.
386
00:29:55,107 --> 00:29:59,161
Which goes way back to the days
of tipping cows and playing on a jug band.
387
00:30:02,071 --> 00:30:04,859
And maybe some day
you've achieved your goal
388
00:30:05,010 --> 00:30:07,777
of getting a Costco card,
or adopting a Labradoodle.
389
00:30:07,935 --> 00:30:13,205
But the reality is, I surpassed
everything you're ever going to do
390
00:30:15,083 --> 00:30:16,980
before I was a toddler.
391
00:30:17,131 --> 00:30:20,702
I was spitting out formulas
while you were still spitting up formula.
392
00:30:20,828 --> 00:30:23,404
-I was breastfed, actually.
-Nice.
393
00:30:23,638 --> 00:30:25,854
Rub that in my orphan face.
394
00:30:26,072 --> 00:30:31,877
Mr. Wachowski, are you familiar
with US code 904, title 10, article 104?
395
00:30:33,240 --> 00:30:35,040
-Yeah--
-Anyone, who attempts to aid
396
00:30:35,199 --> 00:30:38,031
an enemy of the United States
shall suffer death.
397
00:30:39,903 --> 00:30:41,908
And if I'm the one who catches you,
398
00:30:42,373 --> 00:30:44,228
it'll be even worse.
399
00:30:45,630 --> 00:30:47,080
Worse than death?
400
00:30:49,288 --> 00:30:51,004
Okay, I'm a ball.
Just a normal ball.
401
00:30:51,151 --> 00:30:52,412
I'm blending in like a bulge.
402
00:30:52,548 --> 00:30:56,306
Stop talking. No, you stop talking.
Be quiet, Sonic. You be quiet, Sonic!
403
00:30:56,530 --> 00:30:58,560
Oh, I hope they aren't scanning me
with X-Rays,
404
00:30:58,693 --> 00:31:00,957
I had kind of an embarrassing lunch.
405
00:31:08,469 --> 00:31:10,760
Don't freak out. Don't freak--
Don't freak out.
406
00:31:10,919 --> 00:31:12,916
Don't freak out. Don't freak out.
407
00:31:14,341 --> 00:31:15,729
I'm freaking out!
408
00:31:18,132 --> 00:31:20,543
Why don't you had
your staircase carpeted?
409
00:31:20,696 --> 00:31:22,039
Compared to--
410
00:31:24,810 --> 00:31:26,397
-Old pipes.
-Yeah.
411
00:31:26,547 --> 00:31:29,188
Probably just the house settling.
Nothing to see here.
412
00:31:30,787 --> 00:31:32,054
Hey!
413
00:31:37,175 --> 00:31:38,651
Here's the thing.
414
00:31:40,399 --> 00:31:41,931
I'm never wrong.
415
00:31:42,695 --> 00:31:45,017
Well, first time for everything, I guess.
416
00:31:45,160 --> 00:31:46,361
Would you like some cake?
417
00:31:46,544 --> 00:31:50,676
I hear racoons have the cleanest mouths
of any animal that routinely eats garbage.
418
00:32:01,957 --> 00:32:03,720
Look at that.
419
00:32:04,227 --> 00:32:05,878
I was right.
420
00:32:06,293 --> 00:32:08,220
Note the lack of surprise.
421
00:32:08,417 --> 00:32:10,146
Should we try this again?
422
00:32:20,651 --> 00:32:24,872
I'm going to give you five seconds
to tell me where it is. Five.
423
00:32:24,999 --> 00:32:27,080
-I don't know what's you're talking about.
-Four.
424
00:32:27,237 --> 00:32:29,605
Hey, tough guy, I'm a cop.
And you're threatening an Officer.
425
00:32:29,738 --> 00:32:32,406
How can you threaten somebody
who never existed? Three.
426
00:32:32,975 --> 00:32:34,968
Come on, rack your brain!
427
00:32:35,135 --> 00:32:38,422
You might be able to come up
with some lame excuse to go on living.
428
00:32:38,660 --> 00:32:40,133
In two...
429
00:32:40,874 --> 00:32:42,138
One!
430
00:32:42,504 --> 00:32:44,467
Wait! Don't hurt him.
431
00:32:58,039 --> 00:32:59,709
This feels excessive.
432
00:33:03,154 --> 00:33:04,296
Stay behind me.
433
00:33:20,489 --> 00:33:22,952
Don't worry, I got it
right where I want it.
434
00:33:25,532 --> 00:33:28,956
Can you believe Amazon is gonna deliver
packages with these thing?
435
00:33:31,435 --> 00:33:34,201
This was a horrible plan,
what was I thinking?
436
00:33:36,830 --> 00:33:38,501
I'm gonna puke!
437
00:33:42,146 --> 00:33:43,239
Come on!
438
00:33:44,164 --> 00:33:45,419
We gotta get out of here.
439
00:33:45,588 --> 00:33:48,648
Don't tell me that's all you've got.
I'm just getting started.
440
00:33:48,773 --> 00:33:51,504
Let me know if you wanna go
round two with the blue.
441
00:34:10,331 --> 00:34:11,496
Doctor!
442
00:34:11,864 --> 00:34:12,947
Are you okay?
443
00:34:13,244 --> 00:34:15,282
I just saw a guy race
outta here and thought--
444
00:34:15,408 --> 00:34:16,845
That you should stop them?
445
00:34:17,962 --> 00:34:19,503
Open your mouth,
446
00:34:19,707 --> 00:34:21,735
and say you thought
that you should stop them.
447
00:34:21,895 --> 00:34:25,049
No, I thought that maybe I should
check to see if you're okay.
448
00:34:25,346 --> 00:34:28,071
You know what's hard about being
the smartest person in the world?
449
00:34:28,208 --> 00:34:31,101
-Everyone else seems stupid.
-Yes. Way to go.
450
00:34:31,336 --> 00:34:32,791
You got that one.
451
00:34:34,033 --> 00:34:37,740
Whatever this creature is,
it's our job to secure it,
452
00:34:38,242 --> 00:34:41,427
neutralize it, uncover
the source of its power.
453
00:34:42,020 --> 00:34:43,481
And if it resists...
454
00:34:44,525 --> 00:34:46,078
we take it apart,
455
00:34:46,689 --> 00:34:48,099
piece by piece.
456
00:34:49,295 --> 00:34:51,207
See what makes it tick.
457
00:34:52,186 --> 00:34:53,598
-Stone.
-Doctor.
458
00:34:53,745 --> 00:34:55,401
Call Optical Illusions.
459
00:34:56,060 --> 00:34:57,788
Tell them I need new frames.
460
00:34:58,425 --> 00:35:00,032
They know what kind I like.
461
00:35:01,885 --> 00:35:03,532
And bring that quill.
462
00:35:04,061 --> 00:35:05,407
Yes, Doctor.
463
00:35:08,698 --> 00:35:09,962
All right, pal,
464
00:35:10,021 --> 00:35:11,690
You need to start talking right now.
465
00:35:11,822 --> 00:35:14,185
Who are you? What are you?
466
00:35:14,354 --> 00:35:16,692
I'm a hedgehog,
I feel like that's obvious.
467
00:35:16,888 --> 00:35:19,466
-And I'm in big trouble.
-You're in big trouble?
468
00:35:19,602 --> 00:35:22,580
You're not the one who punched
some sort of government weirdo back there.
469
00:35:22,706 --> 00:35:24,946
You think you have problems?
I lost my rings!
470
00:35:25,076 --> 00:35:26,610
Rings? What are you talking about?
471
00:35:26,741 --> 00:35:30,214
Okay, rings are how all advanced cultures
travel between worlds.
472
00:35:30,584 --> 00:35:32,922
And now mine are on top
of a pointy building
473
00:35:33,074 --> 00:35:35,845
I've only ever seen
on your skin tight t-shirt.
474
00:35:36,202 --> 00:35:38,363
So, I'd like you to take me
to San Francisco,
475
00:35:38,575 --> 00:35:41,702
so I can get back my rings and use them
to go to the Mushroom planet.
476
00:35:43,553 --> 00:35:45,897
-Mushroom planet?
-Yes!
477
00:35:46,300 --> 00:35:47,426
Right.
478
00:35:51,287 --> 00:35:53,879
-Okay, pal. Out you go.
-I'm sorry, what?
479
00:35:54,025 --> 00:35:57,892
Look, this is the worst possible time
for me to get myself into trouble, okay?
480
00:35:58,001 --> 00:36:00,125
You asked me to save your life,
I saved your life.
481
00:36:00,248 --> 00:36:03,179
Now please, go find your rings,
and your Mushroomland.
482
00:36:03,331 --> 00:36:05,451
Hopefully I'm gonna wake up
in the hospital bed,
483
00:36:05,610 --> 00:36:08,399
and the doctors gonna tell me
that my colonoscopy was a big success.
484
00:36:08,541 --> 00:36:10,761
-Okay? So, goodbye.
-Okay, goodbye.
485
00:36:11,279 --> 00:36:12,382
Goodbye.
486
00:36:14,923 --> 00:36:17,683
-Why aren't you leaving?
-I don't know where San Francisco is.
487
00:36:17,822 --> 00:36:18,720
- It's West.
- West?
488
00:36:18,933 --> 00:36:21,199
- Straight shot, can't miss it.
- Fine. That's cool.
489
00:36:21,330 --> 00:36:23,374
I'm totally cool saying goodbye now.
490
00:36:28,297 --> 00:36:32,139
So, as I crashed into the cold
dark water of the Pacific
491
00:36:32,479 --> 00:36:34,282
I realized a few things.
492
00:36:34,817 --> 00:36:37,020
a) I have no idea where I'm going;
493
00:36:37,354 --> 00:36:39,384
b) salt water stings.
494
00:36:39,809 --> 00:36:43,961
c) I shouldn't even be on this planet
right now, but I am.
495
00:36:44,101 --> 00:36:46,898
-Why? Because you shot me!
-I know.
496
00:36:47,111 --> 00:36:48,192
You shot me!
497
00:36:48,333 --> 00:36:51,000
All right. I heard you the first time.
You don't have to...
498
00:36:51,135 --> 00:36:52,642
pile it on, good grief.
499
00:36:52,820 --> 00:36:54,949
I'm wet. I'm cold.
500
00:36:55,318 --> 00:36:57,058
There's a fish on my head!
501
00:36:57,320 --> 00:37:00,719
And clearly I'm not gonna be able
to do this on my own.
502
00:37:06,694 --> 00:37:09,376
-All right, get in the truck.
-Really? You gonna help me?
503
00:37:09,460 --> 00:37:12,650
I guess it is a little bit of my fault
that all of this happening to you.
504
00:37:12,782 --> 00:37:15,675
Not a little bit, entirely.
It is entirely your fault.
505
00:37:15,818 --> 00:37:17,724
Okay, it's entirely my fault.
Are you coming?
506
00:37:17,847 --> 00:37:18,954
Yes.
507
00:37:21,448 --> 00:37:23,309
Roadtrip.
508
00:37:23,804 --> 00:37:25,247
What am I doing?
509
00:37:25,673 --> 00:37:28,233
All right, there's gonna be rules
on this trip. Number one:
510
00:37:28,366 --> 00:37:30,570
do exactly as I say all the time.
511
00:37:31,027 --> 00:37:32,864
-Got it?
-Got it, Donut Lord.
512
00:37:33,007 --> 00:37:34,841
Would you stop with the Donut Lord?
513
00:37:35,211 --> 00:37:37,045
I have a name. It's Tom.
514
00:37:37,383 --> 00:37:38,712
I'm Sonic.
515
00:37:38,906 --> 00:37:41,056
Sonic? Sonic.
516
00:37:42,176 --> 00:37:44,357
So, you've been spying
on us all for years.
517
00:37:44,500 --> 00:37:46,231
I mean, I wouldn't call it spying.
518
00:37:46,363 --> 00:37:48,619
We were all just hanging out,
only I wasn't invited,
519
00:37:48,746 --> 00:37:50,253
and no one knew I was there.
520
00:37:50,388 --> 00:37:53,019
I can't believe Crazy Carl
was right all this time.
521
00:37:53,167 --> 00:37:56,069
Yeah, you should call him
Super Observing Carl instead.
522
00:37:56,638 --> 00:37:58,918
-Oh my God, stop the car right now!
-What? What?
523
00:37:59,081 --> 00:38:02,404
The World's Largest Rubber Band Ball?
We gotta see it!
524
00:38:02,532 --> 00:38:05,999
No, no. This is not some fun
family roadtrip, okay?
525
00:38:06,248 --> 00:38:10,246
The government wants to dissect you,
and arrest me. This is serious.
526
00:38:11,876 --> 00:38:14,287
You were right. It was lame.
Gift shop was cool, though.
527
00:38:14,528 --> 00:38:15,753
I got you a mouse pad.
528
00:38:16,027 --> 00:38:17,612
When are we gonna get there?
529
00:38:17,646 --> 00:38:19,534
We will get there when we get there.
530
00:38:38,578 --> 00:38:41,892
All right, I'm gonna go check in with Wade
to see if he knows what's going on.
531
00:38:42,029 --> 00:38:44,216
You gonna see Wade in that glass thing?
532
00:38:44,367 --> 00:38:46,315
What is it? A teleportation box?
533
00:38:48,075 --> 00:38:49,027
It's a pay phone.
534
00:38:49,176 --> 00:38:52,585
It's mostly for drug dealers and fugitives
from the law, which is us.
535
00:38:52,800 --> 00:38:55,236
Stay in the car. I don't want
anybody seeing you.
536
00:38:55,530 --> 00:38:56,838
Fine!
537
00:39:15,361 --> 00:39:20,020
Okay. Okay. That is the coolest place
on Earth, but you have to stay in the car.
538
00:39:29,314 --> 00:39:31,557
Be strong. Be strong.
539
00:39:38,835 --> 00:39:40,995
Hello. Green Hills Police Department.
540
00:39:41,145 --> 00:39:43,925
-Wade, it's me.
-Hi, I'm so glad that you called.
541
00:39:44,307 --> 00:39:48,584
So, some guys came in asking
some questions. A little creepy.
542
00:39:48,949 --> 00:39:51,278
Kinda reminded me of guys
from Men in Black,
543
00:39:51,396 --> 00:39:54,866
but not as likable,
or charming as Will Smith.
544
00:39:55,000 --> 00:39:56,604
Wait, what kinda questions?
545
00:39:56,763 --> 00:39:59,020
Questions about terrorism.
546
00:39:59,526 --> 00:40:02,538
I told them that, like--
I've gone ice fishing with Tom.
547
00:40:02,849 --> 00:40:06,608
He doesn't know how to make a bomb.
He can't even make, like bait in the cold.
548
00:40:06,737 --> 00:40:08,886
All right, Wade, listen to me.
This is really important.
549
00:40:09,012 --> 00:40:11,102
Don't tell them that we talked, okay?
550
00:40:14,039 --> 00:40:16,141
You know, I think they already know.
551
00:40:18,090 --> 00:40:19,696
Mr. Wachowski.
552
00:40:20,630 --> 00:40:21,783
Tom.
553
00:40:21,809 --> 00:40:23,766
I want you to know
that the only other person
554
00:40:23,828 --> 00:40:26,896
who have ever punched me
in the face was the school bully.
555
00:40:27,025 --> 00:40:29,830
He hit me in the cafeteria
causing a blunt force contusion
556
00:40:29,980 --> 00:40:32,369
to the soft tissue
surrounding my orbital bone.
557
00:40:32,443 --> 00:40:34,542
Humiliated me in front
of the entire school.
558
00:40:34,695 --> 00:40:36,817
And you know what I did in response?
559
00:40:36,974 --> 00:40:39,583
I'm assuming that you reported him
to the Principal's office,
560
00:40:39,698 --> 00:40:42,076
'cause, you know that kinda behavior
is really unacceptable.
561
00:40:42,238 --> 00:40:45,142
No, I examined the inefficiency
of a world with blunt traumed brain,
562
00:40:45,280 --> 00:40:48,078
and I used technology
to resolve that inefficiency.
563
00:40:48,225 --> 00:40:50,951
The boy ate his meals
through a straw for a year.
564
00:40:51,222 --> 00:40:54,366
And I have never lost
a fight again. Until today.
565
00:40:55,021 --> 00:40:56,346
Hooray for me then, huh?
566
00:40:56,458 --> 00:40:59,103
No, because you're about
to become the bully with a straw!
567
00:40:59,251 --> 00:41:01,444
I'm coming for you, Mr. Wachowski.
568
00:41:01,839 --> 00:41:03,781
And when I catch you I'll--
569
00:41:04,746 --> 00:41:06,751
Hello? Hello?
570
00:41:07,866 --> 00:41:10,484
-Hello? Hello?
-I think he actually hung up.
571
00:41:10,531 --> 00:41:13,867
-Because I noticed that the light isn't on.
-Thank you, Officer Brainfart.
572
00:41:13,998 --> 00:41:16,282
If you give me a second
I can get an outside line.
573
00:41:16,417 --> 00:41:20,388
No, don't be bothered.
You just sit there and be you-
574
00:41:21,594 --> 00:41:23,142
sless.
575
00:41:30,075 --> 00:41:32,732
No one's gonna erase my memory here?
576
00:41:33,931 --> 00:41:35,896
I will tell people about this.
577
00:41:39,002 --> 00:41:42,111
Okay, not exactly
the healthiest meal, but...
578
00:41:43,305 --> 00:41:44,463
Sonic?
579
00:41:50,717 --> 00:41:52,065
No, no.
580
00:42:07,364 --> 00:42:08,687
Howdy, partner.
581
00:42:08,810 --> 00:42:10,599
I'm not your partner, come on,
we're leaving.
582
00:42:10,724 --> 00:42:13,462
But there's a ZZ Top cover band,
you gotta see their beards.
583
00:42:13,545 --> 00:42:16,009
We will have to catch them
some other time. Let's go. Get up.
584
00:42:16,146 --> 00:42:19,458
If we stay I promise I won't say
another word for the rest of the trip.
585
00:42:19,604 --> 00:42:21,021
Starting... now.
586
00:42:21,594 --> 00:42:23,986
Welcome to the Piston Pit,
what can I get you fellas?
587
00:42:24,212 --> 00:42:28,605
I want nachos and buffalo wings, and guac.
Funny word, isn't it? Guac. Guac.
588
00:42:29,343 --> 00:42:32,275
No kids allowed in here.
What's he got on, some kinda mask?
589
00:42:33,056 --> 00:42:37,640
He's actually 43 years old,
and suffers from a very rare skin disease.
590
00:42:37,788 --> 00:42:40,131
that stunts his growth,
and makes him look...
591
00:42:40,488 --> 00:42:41,888
like-- like that.
592
00:42:42,027 --> 00:42:45,959
The face I was born with, the confidence
I picked up along the way.
593
00:42:46,543 --> 00:42:48,904
-Make us a Mellow Yellow please.
-Okay.
594
00:42:50,010 --> 00:42:52,748
-You owe me one.
-I've never sat on the bar stool before.
595
00:42:52,904 --> 00:42:56,065
So squishy. Oh, look at this, it spins!
596
00:42:56,880 --> 00:42:58,146
Yes.
597
00:42:58,803 --> 00:43:00,807
-I feel sick.
-Having fun?
598
00:43:01,099 --> 00:43:03,866
Gonna check this off your bucket list,
huh? Big night for ya?
599
00:43:03,985 --> 00:43:05,814
What's a bucket list?
600
00:43:06,020 --> 00:43:07,692
Bucket list is a...
601
00:43:08,097 --> 00:43:11,298
It's a list of things you wanna do
in your life before you...
602
00:43:11,952 --> 00:43:13,115
well, kick the bucket.
603
00:43:13,226 --> 00:43:16,150
I've never kicked the bucket
either. I gotta make my list.
604
00:43:21,927 --> 00:43:23,346
Sonic.
605
00:43:30,356 --> 00:43:31,468
Why? What's the matter?
606
00:43:31,620 --> 00:43:33,476
There are so much stuff
I've never done.
607
00:43:33,635 --> 00:43:35,916
And now that I'm leaving Earth forever...
608
00:43:36,452 --> 00:43:38,259
I guess I missed my chance.
609
00:43:43,422 --> 00:43:46,796
Well, I guess this is the kinda place
you can get a lot of live and done
610
00:43:46,939 --> 00:43:48,665
in a short period of time.
611
00:43:49,231 --> 00:43:50,936
I suppose we can spare an hour.
612
00:43:51,113 --> 00:43:53,443
What? You gonna bucket list with me?
613
00:43:53,771 --> 00:43:56,116
-Sure, why not.
-You won't regret this.
614
00:43:56,350 --> 00:43:57,562
I'm pretty sure I will.
615
00:44:22,342 --> 00:44:23,878
New high score.
616
00:44:30,114 --> 00:44:33,886
Wait a second, does this bull missing
a head or does it have two butts?
617
00:44:36,272 --> 00:44:38,384
-This is easy.
-Okay.
618
00:44:43,123 --> 00:44:44,826
I'm a cowboy, baby.
619
00:44:47,849 --> 00:44:49,334
I'm okay.
620
00:44:55,805 --> 00:44:56,951
Yeah!
621
00:44:59,287 --> 00:45:00,899
Yeah, laugh it up.
622
00:45:01,091 --> 00:45:02,697
Nice work, Romeo.
623
00:45:03,176 --> 00:45:05,852
-Glad you're having a good time.
-I am having a good time.
624
00:45:05,964 --> 00:45:08,680
I'm having the best time,
I mean what could go wrong?
625
00:45:12,719 --> 00:45:13,951
Can we help you?
626
00:45:14,304 --> 00:45:18,290
-We don't like your kind around here.
-Our kind? What kind is that?
627
00:45:20,388 --> 00:45:21,583
Hipsters.
628
00:45:22,143 --> 00:45:23,196
How dare you?!
629
00:45:23,309 --> 00:45:25,782
Hey, you know what? We were
just leaving anyway, weren't we?
630
00:45:25,919 --> 00:45:27,592
-Not a problem--
-No, no. It's okay.
631
00:45:27,732 --> 00:45:28,675
No, no. We're leaving.
632
00:45:28,811 --> 00:45:31,313
I know exactly how to handle
this situation.
633
00:45:32,400 --> 00:45:33,609
Pop quiz hot-shot.
634
00:45:33,754 --> 00:45:36,405
You just picked a fight
with a poorly disguised hedgehog
635
00:45:36,546 --> 00:45:39,385
who's seen way too many
action movies. What do you do?
636
00:45:39,507 --> 00:45:41,162
What do you do?
637
00:45:43,833 --> 00:45:46,014
Am I crazy? It was supposed
to break, right?
638
00:45:47,783 --> 00:45:50,607
Break please. Break please.
Break please, bottle. Please.
639
00:45:50,776 --> 00:45:52,148
Sonic?
640
00:46:03,749 --> 00:46:06,353
-Nice doing.
-Thanks. It's awesome, right?
641
00:46:06,522 --> 00:46:08,509
All right, who's next?
Who wants some?
642
00:46:08,688 --> 00:46:10,266
Who do I get to beat up?
643
00:46:10,661 --> 00:46:15,063
Hey, has anybody seen my waitress?
Still waiting on those buffalo wings.
644
00:46:15,955 --> 00:46:17,445
Ah, you!
645
00:46:28,925 --> 00:46:30,127
Really?
646
00:48:19,074 --> 00:48:21,841
-So, should we get out of here?
-Yeah, time to go.
647
00:48:24,005 --> 00:48:25,026
That was amazing!
648
00:48:25,229 --> 00:48:28,120
Wait a second, did we even pay
our tip? It doesn't matter!
649
00:48:28,303 --> 00:48:30,926
Watch this. Watch this.
I always wanted to do this.
650
00:48:34,180 --> 00:48:36,654
-Get them!
-See ya, suckers.
651
00:48:37,439 --> 00:48:40,007
I can't say for sure,
but I think they liked me.
652
00:48:46,058 --> 00:48:47,469
-Yes! Yes!
-Yeah!
653
00:48:47,614 --> 00:48:48,245
Ouch!
654
00:48:48,398 --> 00:48:51,255
-They got you pretty good.
-I'm all right, have been hit harder.
655
00:48:51,413 --> 00:48:53,090
Did you see how much
toilet paper I used?
656
00:48:53,238 --> 00:48:56,750
The next person that goes into that
bathroom will have nothing to wipe with.
657
00:48:57,261 --> 00:49:00,921
The floors were sticky. The crowd
was rough. And the odds were against us.
658
00:49:01,159 --> 00:49:04,421
But there was no stopping
Donut Lord and the Blue Blur.
659
00:49:04,789 --> 00:49:07,230
Scratch another one off my list.
660
00:49:08,449 --> 00:49:10,362
You are a weird little dude.
661
00:49:22,874 --> 00:49:25,178
-Okay.
-So, what are we gonna do now?
662
00:49:26,854 --> 00:49:28,914
I'm gonna pass out watching TV.
663
00:49:29,247 --> 00:49:31,735
-You should, too.
-But this is my last night on Earth.
664
00:49:31,867 --> 00:49:34,190
-I wanna soak up every last second.
-All right, well...
665
00:49:34,330 --> 00:49:37,552
Anything you can find to do in this room,
you knock yourself out.
666
00:49:44,116 --> 00:49:46,208
Good times.
667
00:49:48,507 --> 00:49:49,960
Oh, come on.
668
00:49:50,231 --> 00:49:54,293
-That's awful, what did you eat?
-I think it's called a chili dog.
669
00:49:54,985 --> 00:49:57,675
You might wanna check
your fur on that one, buddy.
670
00:49:58,223 --> 00:50:01,212
Hey, so what's this next planet
you're supposed to go to like?
671
00:50:01,465 --> 00:50:04,320
It's no Earth. I can tell you that.
There's no people.
672
00:50:04,456 --> 00:50:07,377
Just breathable air and giant
mushrooms, and stuff.
673
00:50:07,909 --> 00:50:09,622
Well, look at it this way.
674
00:50:10,001 --> 00:50:12,249
At least you won't be the only fun-gi.
675
00:50:12,905 --> 00:50:15,460
No, don't ever do that again.
676
00:50:16,598 --> 00:50:17,950
I liked it.
677
00:50:19,816 --> 00:50:21,807
I'm really gonna miss this place.
678
00:50:22,067 --> 00:50:25,622
I know I have to leave Earth to be safe,
but what if Longclaw was wrong?
679
00:50:26,910 --> 00:50:28,915
Maybe I could have a life here.
680
00:50:33,588 --> 00:50:35,927
All right, we should get some sleep.
681
00:50:37,363 --> 00:50:40,519
You sleep, don't worry about me,
I'm gonna stay up all night
682
00:50:40,663 --> 00:50:42,446
enjoying Earth while I can.
683
00:50:42,640 --> 00:50:43,976
Sure, kid.
684
00:50:44,619 --> 00:50:46,763
As long as we're
on the road by eight.
685
00:51:10,657 --> 00:51:14,777
Thomas Wachowski, accused of committing
an act of domestic terrorism.
686
00:51:15,326 --> 00:51:17,974
Wachowski is considered
armed and dangerous.
687
00:51:18,237 --> 00:51:21,249
Any information regarding
his whereabouts should be reported
688
00:51:21,401 --> 00:51:23,234
to local authorities immediately.
689
00:51:29,454 --> 00:51:31,408
Did he say where he was going?
690
00:51:34,481 --> 00:51:36,759
Maybe. Maybe not.
691
00:51:37,896 --> 00:51:39,599
Like I'd ever tell you.
692
00:51:40,944 --> 00:51:42,503
Stand down, Agent Stone.
693
00:51:42,575 --> 00:51:45,043
This well-meaning citizen obviously
doesn't understand
694
00:51:45,196 --> 00:51:47,154
the urgency of the matter.
695
00:51:49,484 --> 00:51:50,945
Really?
696
00:51:53,203 --> 00:51:55,915
Now, that's what I call
'good cop, bad cop'.
697
00:51:58,922 --> 00:52:00,510
Left yourself open.
698
00:52:03,064 --> 00:52:05,055
Judging by the quickest route
to San Francisco,
699
00:52:05,239 --> 00:52:08,292
the approximate speed of their vehicle
and local weather conditions...
700
00:52:09,878 --> 00:52:11,455
They should be...
701
00:52:12,114 --> 00:52:14,053
right about...
702
00:52:15,091 --> 00:52:16,434
here.
703
00:52:16,734 --> 00:52:19,964
-That's brilliant, Sir.
-Thanks... for nothing.
704
00:52:22,895 --> 00:52:25,373
-So, what's on your bucket list?
-Me?
705
00:52:25,507 --> 00:52:28,318
-Yeah, everyone has a bucket list, right?
-Well, sure, but...
706
00:52:28,454 --> 00:52:30,295
I mean, you are the one leaving Earth.
707
00:52:30,676 --> 00:52:32,665
And I'm not planning
on dying anytime soon.
708
00:52:32,812 --> 00:52:35,978
Don't be so sure, your best friend
is a magnet for danger.
709
00:52:36,117 --> 00:52:38,034
You're anointing yourself as the bestie?
710
00:52:39,224 --> 00:52:41,197
Little presumptuous,
but... I mean...
711
00:52:41,671 --> 00:52:43,821
I like you, of course, but...
712
00:52:44,050 --> 00:52:45,785
You know, we're not best friends.
713
00:52:46,153 --> 00:52:47,885
You tucked me in last night.
714
00:52:48,089 --> 00:52:51,178
-Fine, fine. Best animal friend.
-That would be my dog Ozzy.
715
00:52:51,287 --> 00:52:55,112
Okay, let's trap this increasingly
humiliating topic of conversation.
716
00:52:55,338 --> 00:52:57,124
Bucket list. Give it to me.
717
00:52:57,549 --> 00:52:59,491
Okay, there is one thing.
718
00:53:00,399 --> 00:53:02,320
In Green Hills I've always felt,
719
00:53:02,703 --> 00:53:05,874
I don't know, more like a baby sitter
than a real cop, you know?
720
00:53:06,062 --> 00:53:08,892
So, I want a chance to prove
myself under real pressure.
721
00:53:09,065 --> 00:53:11,830
I'm gonna move to San Francisco,
become a street cop.
722
00:53:12,445 --> 00:53:15,090
And, I don't know,
see if I have what it takes.
723
00:53:16,252 --> 00:53:17,471
What?
724
00:53:18,735 --> 00:53:22,260
-Why is your face doing that?
-You're leaving Green Hills?!
725
00:53:22,994 --> 00:53:24,982
-Okay.
-Bu-- But-- But why?
726
00:53:25,032 --> 00:53:28,093
-Why would you leave Green Hills?
-This maybe hard for you to understand,
727
00:53:28,232 --> 00:53:30,867
but Green Hills is a small town,
it's a very small town.
728
00:53:31,005 --> 00:53:33,467
It's not small. There are
hundreds of people.
729
00:53:33,626 --> 00:53:35,165
That's a small town, dude.
730
00:53:35,320 --> 00:53:37,976
It's a perfect town,
and the people need you.
731
00:53:38,081 --> 00:53:41,427
Please, I clean up their gutters,
I jumpstart their cars in the winter.
732
00:53:41,563 --> 00:53:43,254
They can call anybody to do that.
733
00:53:43,377 --> 00:53:46,886
Sure, they can call anybody,
but the don't. They call you.
734
00:54:03,996 --> 00:54:06,128
Eeny meeny miny...
735
00:54:07,341 --> 00:54:08,722
mayhem.
736
00:54:19,756 --> 00:54:21,934
-You're not making any sense.
-Would you calm down?
737
00:54:21,938 --> 00:54:23,976
You come from a great town
with great people,
738
00:54:24,126 --> 00:54:26,776
and by my count zero bad guys
trying to kill you.
739
00:54:29,035 --> 00:54:31,505
Besides, what could possibly
be more important
740
00:54:31,645 --> 00:54:33,961
than protecting the people you care about?
741
00:54:39,997 --> 00:54:41,519
Look, I get--
742
00:54:43,337 --> 00:54:44,664
Yeah!
743
00:54:51,939 --> 00:54:55,614
You know what? I was wrong about you.
You're not the Donut Lord at all.
744
00:54:55,739 --> 00:54:57,597
You're more like the Jerk Lord.
745
00:54:57,746 --> 00:55:00,330
Have you noticed the harpoon
stuck in our dash?!
746
00:55:06,333 --> 00:55:07,196
Sonic!
747
00:55:07,363 --> 00:55:10,961
I was forced from my home,
your home is perfect and you're leaving it.
748
00:55:11,108 --> 00:55:12,746
Why would you do that?
749
00:55:12,871 --> 00:55:15,201
-Your body!
-No, no! Not again!
750
00:55:15,437 --> 00:55:17,233
-Hey, hold on!
-Why?
751
00:55:17,353 --> 00:55:18,722
Because I'm gonna do this.
752
00:55:37,310 --> 00:55:38,518
Sonic!
753
00:55:39,932 --> 00:55:41,343
Sonic!
754
00:55:45,445 --> 00:55:47,911
Guess I had a bonus life.
755
00:55:50,474 --> 00:55:51,669
Yeah, baby!
756
00:55:51,868 --> 00:55:54,044
Sonic - one, big tank - zero.
757
00:55:54,374 --> 00:55:56,224
I'm sorry. Did we
get this on camera?
758
00:55:56,336 --> 00:55:58,706
-How are you not dead?
-I have no idea.
759
00:55:59,157 --> 00:56:00,495
But do you see me dancing?
760
00:56:00,648 --> 00:56:03,157
-Yes, I saw your dance.
-Is that all you've got?
761
00:56:03,303 --> 00:56:05,241
No, but thank you for asking.
762
00:56:08,961 --> 00:56:10,060
Sonic!
763
00:56:10,512 --> 00:56:13,106
-Get back in the truck!
-You go, I'll catch up.
764
00:56:24,293 --> 00:56:26,569
I think that tank just had a baby.
765
00:56:39,156 --> 00:56:40,590
Incoming!
766
00:56:42,708 --> 00:56:45,316
-It's my turn!
-You just had. Now it's mine!
767
00:56:45,479 --> 00:56:47,590
Hey, stop fighting, or I'm taking
that thing away!
768
00:56:47,771 --> 00:56:48,921
Yeah, right, Dad.
769
00:57:00,827 --> 00:57:02,819
-Where are you going?
-Just drive the car.
770
00:57:02,987 --> 00:57:04,502
I'll take care of this.
771
00:57:04,691 --> 00:57:06,556
And if I don't make it, just ditch me,
772
00:57:06,698 --> 00:57:08,074
you seem good at that.
773
00:57:17,590 --> 00:57:19,749
Hey, everyone, welcome back
to my livestream.
774
00:57:19,867 --> 00:57:22,095
Today, we're destroying robots. Step one.
775
00:57:27,277 --> 00:57:28,844
Yes! We did it!
776
00:57:33,585 --> 00:57:36,100
We did not do it. Who is this guy?
777
00:57:36,511 --> 00:57:38,680
Ever wonder where your
tax dollars are going?
778
00:57:38,836 --> 00:57:41,173
My turn, here,
just keep us going straight.
779
00:57:41,528 --> 00:57:42,872
I put on cruise control.
780
00:57:43,126 --> 00:57:46,763
I feel just like Vin Diesel.
It's all about family, Tom.
781
00:57:53,942 --> 00:57:57,731
Quick suggestion. Roll up into a ball
and smash him with your body.
782
00:57:58,968 --> 00:58:01,312
Whoa! Where'd you learn how to drive?!
783
00:58:01,490 --> 00:58:04,031
Here, in this truck,
it's happening as we speak.
784
00:58:07,044 --> 00:58:08,964
I can't reach it, bring it in closer.
785
00:58:09,099 --> 00:58:11,471
-What?
-Bring it in closer. Hit the brakes.
786
00:58:11,724 --> 00:58:14,656
-Oh, you mean this one?
-The other brakes!
787
00:58:29,053 --> 00:58:32,221
Give me a big fat break!
788
00:58:38,271 --> 00:58:40,305
This one is cute, let's keep him.
789
00:58:43,907 --> 00:58:45,020
Oh, come on!
790
00:58:45,154 --> 00:58:47,476
How can something so adorable
be so terrible.
791
00:58:50,810 --> 00:58:52,704
You got car insurance, right?
792
00:58:59,091 --> 00:59:00,525
Buzz off!
793
00:59:00,911 --> 00:59:03,597
-That doesn't sound good.
-No, beeping means bad! Get rid of it!
794
00:59:03,711 --> 00:59:04,439
I'm trying.
795
00:59:04,558 --> 00:59:06,532
Just throw it off the window!
Throw it anywhere!
796
00:59:06,659 --> 00:59:09,018
-I can't get it off!
-All right, I'm pulling over.
797
00:59:16,595 --> 00:59:18,426
-Did I get it?
-No.
798
00:59:20,218 --> 00:59:21,788
Here, hold still.
799
00:59:22,541 --> 00:59:24,322
It's going. It's going.
800
00:59:24,570 --> 00:59:25,926
It's still here.
801
00:59:29,072 --> 00:59:32,291
Get off me! Nailed it!
802
00:59:41,958 --> 00:59:43,285
Sonic!
803
00:59:50,418 --> 00:59:51,635
No, no.
804
00:59:58,654 --> 01:00:00,379
Hey, come on.
You're all right.
805
01:00:00,522 --> 01:00:02,689
Wake up. Wake up.
806
01:00:09,425 --> 01:00:10,831
Did we get them?
807
01:00:11,552 --> 01:00:13,430
Oh, no, there they are.
808
01:00:13,698 --> 01:00:16,435
They are real survivors, those two.
809
01:00:21,368 --> 01:00:23,164
Can we have a moment?
810
01:00:25,598 --> 01:00:27,630
Pin yourself to the wall.
811
01:00:28,566 --> 01:00:30,784
You know, I won't miss you
when you're gone.
812
01:00:30,909 --> 01:00:34,849
Human beings are unreliable and stupid,
and I care very little about them.
813
01:00:34,986 --> 01:00:37,323
But my machines are diligent, relentless.
814
01:00:37,531 --> 01:00:39,478
They're everything to me!
815
01:00:53,977 --> 01:00:55,551
Interesting.
816
01:01:17,322 --> 01:01:19,919
Hold on, buddy. You'll be all right.
817
01:01:20,391 --> 01:01:21,775
You'll be all right.
818
01:01:26,554 --> 01:01:29,392
-I beg you, Rachel. No. It's emergency.
-No, no. Not today. Goodbye. Bye bye.
819
01:01:29,530 --> 01:01:31,509
-Would you stop? Open it please. Maddie!
-Bye. Bye.
820
01:01:31,537 --> 01:01:34,704
-Don't do this to me please. It's important.
-Tom! Oh my God. Rachel let him in!
821
01:01:34,832 --> 01:01:37,608
I am calling the Police. No, I am calling
the FBI. I am calling the CIA.
822
01:01:37,620 --> 01:01:39,113
-I am calling someone.
-Don't do that.
823
01:01:39,172 --> 01:01:40,713
-I'm calling your Mother.
-Okay. Got it.
824
01:01:40,847 --> 01:01:42,624
-Maddie, can we just--
-Tom, what's going on?
825
01:01:42,667 --> 01:01:44,886
You're all over the news.
I've been trying to call you.
826
01:01:44,901 --> 01:01:46,887
I had to ditch my phone
so they couldn't track me.
827
01:01:46,817 --> 01:01:48,108
-Ditch his phone?
-Track? You?
828
01:01:48,238 --> 01:01:49,924
-Uncle Tommy!
-Jojo! Hey.
829
01:01:50,054 --> 01:01:53,235
-Now your niece is an accessory to treason.
-She's not.
830
01:01:53,435 --> 01:01:56,541
-Would you calm down.
-Calm down? I will not calm down!
831
01:01:56,693 --> 01:02:00,045
Yes, calm down. Stop talking.
No, Ozzy, please. I know, good to see you.
832
01:02:00,251 --> 01:02:03,130
- No, no! Ozzy, stop!
-Oh, good ol' Lord Baby Jesus!
833
01:02:03,353 --> 01:02:06,070
What is that, Tom?
Is it plutonium? Is it emails?
834
01:02:06,195 --> 01:02:09,586
Yes, it's plutonium. Can we just please--
Can we just go to your room and talk--
835
01:02:09,610 --> 01:02:10,710
Stop it, Ozzy! Quit it!
836
01:02:10,850 --> 01:02:13,368
-This is why I told you he was no good.
-I'm not engaging--
837
01:02:13,656 --> 01:02:15,238
-No, Ozzy, quit it!
-Door now open.
838
01:02:15,366 --> 01:02:16,281
-Locked.
-No, it's unlocked.
839
01:02:16,871 --> 01:02:18,954
Ozzy, no! Ozzy! No, no!
840
01:02:20,646 --> 01:02:22,084
Oh, catch me, Jojo.
841
01:02:24,148 --> 01:02:25,822
Oh, thank God!
842
01:02:27,084 --> 01:02:28,349
Can I get a glass of water?
843
01:04:09,526 --> 01:04:13,006
I just thought you might like a latte
with steamed Austrian goat milk.
844
01:04:13,461 --> 01:04:16,807
What do I look like, an imbecile?
Of course, I want a latte!
845
01:04:17,027 --> 01:04:18,946
I love the way you make them!
846
01:04:25,485 --> 01:04:27,903
Ready the prototype.
847
01:04:28,413 --> 01:04:33,838
With this kind of power my machines
can finally reach their full potential.
848
01:04:40,242 --> 01:04:42,098
He's gonna be okay, Jojo.
849
01:04:43,490 --> 01:04:45,840
Oh, thank God.
He's gonna be okay, right?
850
01:04:46,137 --> 01:04:48,874
I'm a vet, Tom, I don't even know
what I'm looking at here.
851
01:04:49,004 --> 01:04:50,963
Well, he's a hedgehog...
Or so he says.
852
01:04:51,168 --> 01:04:52,857
-It talks?
-Almost constantly.
853
01:04:53,162 --> 01:04:54,179
Okay.
854
01:04:55,937 --> 01:04:57,021
-Holy...
-What?
855
01:04:57,196 --> 01:04:58,816
Its pulse is super fast.
856
01:04:58,958 --> 01:05:01,077
Well, that actually
might be normal for him.
857
01:05:01,130 --> 01:05:04,433
-I don't know. You gotta help him, Maddie.
-I don't know his physiology.
858
01:05:04,568 --> 01:05:07,486
He doesn't seem to have
any broken bones. He's just...
859
01:05:08,371 --> 01:05:09,911
really banged up.
860
01:05:11,209 --> 01:05:13,176
Look at its poor little feet.
861
01:05:16,785 --> 01:05:19,381
Hang in there, buddy.
You gonna be all right.
862
01:05:22,629 --> 01:05:25,247
Jojo, untie your Mo-- Jojo!
863
01:05:25,674 --> 01:05:28,284
Untie Mommy. Sweetie.
864
01:05:28,987 --> 01:05:30,110
Jojo!
865
01:05:33,001 --> 01:05:34,619
I have to go to the bathroom.
866
01:05:34,766 --> 01:05:36,459
He's gonna be okay, right?
867
01:05:36,608 --> 01:05:39,139
Like he's gonna snap outta this.
He'll wake up soon.
868
01:05:39,336 --> 01:05:41,637
Oh, smelling salts! Don't you have
like vet smelling salts,
869
01:05:41,778 --> 01:05:44,006
like for cats, or parakeets or something?
870
01:05:44,156 --> 01:05:47,074
-No, they don't make cat smelling salts.
-They should.
871
01:05:47,504 --> 01:05:51,583
I have human smelling salts
in my human first aid kit.
872
01:05:52,864 --> 01:05:54,113
Okay.
873
01:05:56,312 --> 01:05:57,460
Come on, buddy.
874
01:05:57,607 --> 01:05:58,939
Gotta go fast!
875
01:06:02,356 --> 01:06:04,715
Where am I? What year is it?
Is the Rock President?
876
01:06:04,841 --> 01:06:06,787
Whoa, whoa, buddy.
You're okay. Calm down.
877
01:06:06,923 --> 01:06:09,129
-Oh, hi Pretzel Lady!
-Hi.
878
01:06:10,051 --> 01:06:11,051
Tom?
879
01:06:11,222 --> 01:06:13,004
-Yeah?
-Can I talk to you please?
880
01:06:16,170 --> 01:06:18,217
Space hedgehog, stay there. Try to rest.
881
01:06:18,339 --> 01:06:21,531
You got it. I am great at resting.
I rest better than anybody.
882
01:06:21,920 --> 01:06:23,305
Still talking.
883
01:06:23,433 --> 01:06:27,070
First of all, can we take a moment to
acknowledge how under control I've been.
884
01:06:27,185 --> 01:06:28,548
-Amazing.
-Didn't freak out.
885
01:06:28,665 --> 01:06:30,525
-No.
-Totally calm.
886
01:06:30,933 --> 01:06:32,477
Thank you.
887
01:06:33,195 --> 01:06:34,885
Second of all,
888
01:06:35,398 --> 01:06:38,341
what the heck is going on?!
Is that thing an alien?
889
01:06:38,497 --> 01:06:42,903
Okay, so, remember how Crazy Carl
is always going on about the Blue Devil?
890
01:06:43,782 --> 01:06:45,897
-That's him. He's real?
-Dah!
891
01:06:46,021 --> 01:06:48,492
What is he doing here?
What are you doing here?
892
01:06:49,633 --> 01:06:52,787
I kinda sorta shot our little blue friend
with your tranq gun.
893
01:06:52,912 --> 01:06:55,215
-No, you did not!
-I didn't-- I didn't mean to.
894
01:06:55,330 --> 01:06:57,386
Okay, this is kinda hard
for me to explain.
895
01:06:57,451 --> 01:06:59,187
And it's gonna sound a little bit crazy.
896
01:06:59,313 --> 01:07:02,663
He has to get to the Transamerica
building, and I promised I'd take him.
897
01:07:03,992 --> 01:07:05,127
Aliens?
898
01:07:05,392 --> 01:07:07,401
Maddie, your husband's
lost his mind.
899
01:07:07,548 --> 01:07:11,154
You can use this as an opportunity
to leave him. No one would judge you.
900
01:07:16,159 --> 01:07:18,537
So you won't hurt your feet anymore.
901
01:07:19,035 --> 01:07:20,393
Really?
902
01:07:21,362 --> 01:07:23,675
No one's ever given me a gift before.
903
01:07:24,484 --> 01:07:26,685
I gotta check it off my bucket list.
904
01:07:36,065 --> 01:07:37,986
All right. Lookin' good.
905
01:07:41,109 --> 01:07:42,269
Okay.
906
01:07:42,529 --> 01:07:45,430
You said you wanted to help
people in real trouble, right?
907
01:07:45,905 --> 01:07:47,280
Well, that's what you're doing.
908
01:07:47,475 --> 01:07:50,979
Blue alien hedgehogs
still count as people, right?
909
01:07:51,137 --> 01:07:52,393
-I think so, too.
-Yeah.
910
01:07:52,522 --> 01:07:54,038
-I think.
-Okay.
911
01:07:54,198 --> 01:07:57,888
I love you. Did I tell you that already?
I don't deserve you, you know that?
912
01:07:58,077 --> 01:07:59,624
I know that.
913
01:08:02,118 --> 01:08:03,106
So,
914
01:08:03,206 --> 01:08:06,790
you're supposed to be Tom's best friend
that he won't shut up about.
915
01:08:08,375 --> 01:08:10,201
Well, I don't see the appeal.
916
01:08:11,984 --> 01:08:14,677
Stop. That is very gross.
917
01:08:16,793 --> 01:08:17,848
-Hey.
-Hey.
918
01:08:17,960 --> 01:08:19,059
So,
919
01:08:19,192 --> 01:08:21,317
my truck still runs,
but it's pretty much total.
920
01:08:21,436 --> 01:08:23,633
You think your sister would mind
if we borrowed her car?
921
01:08:23,761 --> 01:08:25,553
You have got to be kidding me!
922
01:08:26,279 --> 01:08:28,508
-She'll be fine.
-Yes, let's do that.
923
01:08:28,853 --> 01:08:31,045
This is my house!
924
01:08:33,435 --> 01:08:36,729
Whoa, whoa... Now this is my turn.
And I pull around him.
925
01:08:36,877 --> 01:08:39,390
Sorry. And... perfect park.
926
01:08:39,691 --> 01:08:42,411
-What are you, crazy?
-Is there anything you didn't hit?
927
01:08:42,548 --> 01:08:45,301
-Why did we let the alien drive?
-Hey, I got us here.
928
01:08:45,465 --> 01:08:47,375
And please, five stars.
929
01:08:48,567 --> 01:08:49,927
So, this is it?
930
01:08:50,113 --> 01:08:51,760
That's it. That's your pyramid.
931
01:08:52,295 --> 01:08:55,362
-Wow! Look at that thing.
-What happens now?
932
01:08:56,268 --> 01:08:58,838
-Oh, he's... gone.
-Yup.
933
01:09:00,090 --> 01:09:02,798
No good. You need a special key
to get to the roof.
934
01:09:03,779 --> 01:09:05,355
What now?
935
01:09:05,518 --> 01:09:08,710
Time for me to abuse the power
entrusted to me.
936
01:09:18,568 --> 01:09:19,942
We got a jumper on the roof.
937
01:09:20,064 --> 01:09:23,393
Gotta get up there fast, or we gonna have
a human pancake on our hands.
938
01:09:23,564 --> 01:09:25,870
You came all the way from Montana?
939
01:09:26,121 --> 01:09:28,346
Yup, that's how serious it is.
940
01:09:32,786 --> 01:09:34,128
Okay.
941
01:09:35,547 --> 01:09:37,163
You just saved a life.
942
01:09:40,627 --> 01:09:41,987
Come on. Come on.
943
01:09:45,804 --> 01:09:48,453
How much longer?
I can't breathe in here.
944
01:09:50,629 --> 01:09:52,919
Hello? Anybody there?
945
01:09:53,083 --> 01:09:55,037
Do you have your child in that bag?
946
01:09:55,268 --> 01:09:56,411
No.
947
01:09:56,578 --> 01:09:59,025
I mean yes, it's a child,
but it's not mine.
948
01:10:00,147 --> 01:10:01,524
It's not your child?
949
01:10:01,888 --> 01:10:03,919
Relax, I'm a cop, okay?
950
01:10:04,041 --> 01:10:05,872
Plus he likes it in there,
don't you, buddy?
951
01:10:06,009 --> 01:10:07,306
Why would I like it in here?
952
01:10:07,446 --> 01:10:10,332
This is worse than the dog cage
you had me in earlier.
953
01:10:11,043 --> 01:10:12,785
Such a kidder.
954
01:10:13,791 --> 01:10:15,207
Okay.
955
01:10:15,318 --> 01:10:17,958
No, I'm scared of the dark!
Is anybody there?
956
01:10:31,148 --> 01:10:33,259
What were you keeping in this bag?
957
01:10:33,492 --> 01:10:35,222
A jar of pickled farts?
958
01:10:35,381 --> 01:10:37,665
All right, all right,
what are we looking for?
959
01:10:40,215 --> 01:10:41,493
This!
960
01:10:41,954 --> 01:10:44,082
Okay, what happens now?
961
01:10:44,192 --> 01:10:47,604
Now, all I have to do is think of where
I want the other end of the ring to appear,
962
01:10:47,734 --> 01:10:49,426
-and I throw it.
-So, that's it?
963
01:10:49,802 --> 01:10:51,729
-We did it?
-Yeah. We did it.
964
01:10:52,455 --> 01:10:55,944
Hey, sorry we didn't get to do
everything on your bucket list, pal.
965
01:10:56,108 --> 01:10:58,940
It's okay. I did the ones
I needed the most.
966
01:10:59,866 --> 01:11:03,564
-You two are so cute, like...
-Oh, please. What?
967
01:11:03,704 --> 01:11:05,746
-We are not.
-No, we're not cute.
968
01:11:05,886 --> 01:11:09,017
We are a couple of loose cannons
just living by our own rules.
969
01:11:09,141 --> 01:11:10,681
-Exactly. Yeah.
-Really?
970
01:11:10,824 --> 01:11:13,980
And our rules include expressing
heartfelt emotions.
971
01:11:14,131 --> 01:11:15,308
If you say so.
972
01:11:15,539 --> 01:11:17,045
Okay then.
973
01:11:17,328 --> 01:11:18,378
All right.
974
01:11:19,454 --> 01:11:21,454
-You gotta go, right?
-Yeah, I gotta go, so...
975
01:11:21,571 --> 01:11:24,743
-I gotta go. We gotta go, too.
-So, see-- All right. Bye bye.
976
01:11:28,939 --> 01:11:30,571
Just one more thing.
977
01:11:38,648 --> 01:11:40,783
I'm sorry I was so hard on you.
978
01:11:43,225 --> 01:11:46,052
I know it's a tough decision
for you to leave Green Hills.
979
01:11:46,420 --> 01:11:49,125
Walking away from something
you care about
980
01:11:49,595 --> 01:11:51,282
has to be painful.
981
01:11:51,416 --> 01:11:53,457
You're not sure you really wanna go, huh?
982
01:11:54,294 --> 01:11:57,199
I don't wanna go, but I can't stay.
983
01:11:57,738 --> 01:12:00,509
As long as I'm here
I put everyone in danger.
984
01:12:00,880 --> 01:12:02,375
I can't do that.
985
01:12:03,316 --> 01:12:06,034
I just want you to know
that these last two days
986
01:12:06,168 --> 01:12:09,917
have been the best two days of my life.
987
01:12:12,984 --> 01:12:14,655
You know I never though I'd say this
988
01:12:14,787 --> 01:12:17,297
but I'm actually gonna miss you,
you little Blue Devil.
989
01:12:17,444 --> 01:12:19,490
I'll miss you too, Donut Lord.
990
01:12:20,323 --> 01:12:21,480
Thank you.
991
01:12:22,191 --> 01:12:23,471
For what?
992
01:12:24,101 --> 01:12:25,682
For saving my life.
993
01:12:43,672 --> 01:12:46,573
Okay, did someone leave
their 'Find my Phone' on?
994
01:13:12,874 --> 01:13:15,935
Welcome to San Francisco, Mr. Wachowski.
995
01:13:16,619 --> 01:13:18,454
Are you enjoying the clam chowder?
996
01:13:18,568 --> 01:13:20,988
It's the government wack job
who keeps trying to kill us,
997
01:13:21,103 --> 01:13:21,932
unsuccessfully.
998
01:13:22,338 --> 01:13:24,416
Nice of you to swing by
on your way to Comic-Con.
999
01:13:24,548 --> 01:13:26,044
Yeah, what are you wearing?
1000
01:13:27,576 --> 01:13:29,052
It's a flight suit.
1001
01:13:29,232 --> 01:13:31,895
Designed to modulate my body temperature
and reduce drag.
1002
01:13:32,124 --> 01:13:34,019
Yeah, and yet you're still are one.
1003
01:13:34,435 --> 01:13:37,287
Good one, you are catching fire, Thomas.
1004
01:13:37,668 --> 01:13:40,573
Oh, and speaking of heat,
I see you've taken a lover.
1005
01:13:40,716 --> 01:13:44,277
Does she have a name, or should
we just call her 'collateral damage'?
1006
01:13:44,486 --> 01:13:45,698
Hey, watch your mouth!
1007
01:13:45,842 --> 01:13:48,269
Unless you want a little more
of what I gave you earlier?
1008
01:13:48,393 --> 01:13:49,474
Punched him in a face.
1009
01:13:49,591 --> 01:13:51,965
Oh, you punched him right in the face.
It was awesome.
1010
01:13:52,102 --> 01:13:55,001
The time for talking is over!
It's time to push buttons.
1011
01:13:55,134 --> 01:13:57,965
Your flying eggs are pretty impressive,
Mr. Eggman.
1012
01:13:58,197 --> 01:14:00,627
But let's face it, you'll never catch me.
1013
01:14:00,766 --> 01:14:02,293
Confidence,
1014
01:14:02,570 --> 01:14:04,859
a fool's substitute for intelligence.
1015
01:14:12,334 --> 01:14:14,014
That's not good.
1016
01:14:14,408 --> 01:14:17,607
Sonic, I know you got the super speed
and everything, but Maddie and I--
1017
01:14:17,730 --> 01:14:19,877
Totally defenseless,
probably gonna get blown up?
1018
01:14:19,998 --> 01:14:21,321
Pretty much, yeah.
1019
01:14:21,876 --> 01:14:24,600
Don't worry, I know exactly what to do.
1020
01:14:31,796 --> 01:14:33,778
I was not expecting that.
1021
01:14:34,058 --> 01:14:37,199
But I was expecting not to expect
something, so it doesn't count.
1022
01:15:37,557 --> 01:15:38,809
Come on!
1023
01:15:38,937 --> 01:15:41,133
Com-- Com--
Come on! Come on!
1024
01:16:07,605 --> 01:16:10,080
Hi Tom. Glad you're here.
1025
01:16:10,218 --> 01:16:13,430
Could use some help.
Old Bessie is about to give birth.
1026
01:16:14,096 --> 01:16:15,444
Give me a minute.
1027
01:16:18,156 --> 01:16:21,265
Can I give you one
genius piece of advice?
1028
01:16:21,856 --> 01:16:23,268
Don't run.
1029
01:16:23,408 --> 01:16:25,550
It'll only hurt more if you do.
1030
01:16:25,770 --> 01:16:28,146
And it's bad for your joints,
they proved it.
1031
01:16:28,289 --> 01:16:32,023
All right, Eggman, you wanna get fast?
Let's get fast.
1032
01:16:35,004 --> 01:16:36,925
The hard way it is.
1033
01:16:55,651 --> 01:16:57,952
That was an illegal left, by the way.
1034
01:17:00,219 --> 01:17:02,041
So, here we are again.
1035
01:17:02,183 --> 01:17:03,909
We've been through so much together.
1036
01:17:04,026 --> 01:17:06,550
Now you understand
why there's a psychotic robot-doctor
1037
01:17:06,681 --> 01:17:08,912
chasing a super sonic blue hedgehog.
1038
01:17:08,998 --> 01:17:10,260
Wanna know how it ends?
1039
01:17:10,410 --> 01:17:11,864
Yeah, me too.
1040
01:17:29,287 --> 01:17:32,695
How is this possible?! No one's ever
caught up to me before.
1041
01:17:40,470 --> 01:17:41,959
Coming through!
1042
01:17:44,916 --> 01:17:46,878
Excusez-moi, monsieur.
1043
01:17:50,800 --> 01:17:53,340
Here we go. Room to open it up.
1044
01:18:02,336 --> 01:18:03,848
I can't lose him!
1045
01:18:18,184 --> 01:18:20,760
If you can't beat him, blind him.
1046
01:18:23,758 --> 01:18:25,850
Lost visual contact.
1047
01:18:30,595 --> 01:18:32,642
You're not allowed up there!
1048
01:18:32,803 --> 01:18:34,939
It's one of the Seven Wonders.
1049
01:18:58,871 --> 01:19:01,158
-Get out of here!
-Go! Go!
1050
01:19:08,415 --> 01:19:11,440
You're an astonishing little creature.
1051
01:19:14,102 --> 01:19:16,104
It'll be funny to take you back to the lab
1052
01:19:16,260 --> 01:19:18,825
for a litany of invasive
exploratory procedures.
1053
01:19:19,467 --> 01:19:21,771
Any last words?
1054
01:19:21,968 --> 01:19:23,382
Guac.
1055
01:19:23,627 --> 01:19:25,268
I like that word.
1056
01:19:26,198 --> 01:19:28,667
I don't have to tell you
how many scientific breakthroughs
1057
01:19:28,800 --> 01:19:31,170
have been made possible
by animal testing.
1058
01:19:31,294 --> 01:19:32,645
You're being very selfish.
1059
01:19:32,786 --> 01:19:34,623
-Going my way?
-What a--
1060
01:19:40,216 --> 01:19:42,383
Who the hell do you think you are?!
1061
01:19:45,466 --> 01:19:47,454
I'm the Donut Lord, you son of a--
1062
01:19:52,048 --> 01:19:54,179
Autopilot, adjust.
1063
01:19:54,626 --> 01:19:55,787
Why?
1064
01:19:56,168 --> 01:19:59,358
Why would you throw
your life away for this thing?
1065
01:19:59,514 --> 01:20:01,057
That's why I don't have friends.
1066
01:20:01,215 --> 01:20:03,220
Next thing you know, you're
somebody's best man,
1067
01:20:03,367 --> 01:20:05,097
they wanna have
the wedding out of town.
1068
01:20:05,236 --> 01:20:07,320
Like nobody has
anything better to do!
1069
01:20:07,528 --> 01:20:09,552
Anyway, where were we?
1070
01:20:09,748 --> 01:20:10,858
Oh, yes,
1071
01:20:11,028 --> 01:20:12,765
you were about to die.
1072
01:20:14,691 --> 01:20:16,825
It's our Sheriff you're messing with.
1073
01:20:18,139 --> 01:20:19,818
Do you know Blue Devil?
1074
01:20:19,982 --> 01:20:23,012
Who everyone can see
is a very real creature,
1075
01:20:23,396 --> 01:20:26,365
and not at all invented by me!
1076
01:20:28,539 --> 01:20:30,509
-Be careful.
-Just-- pull it away--
1077
01:20:30,659 --> 01:20:31,848
Tom.
1078
01:20:45,147 --> 01:20:47,458
I don't mean to be indelicate here.
1079
01:20:47,824 --> 01:20:50,859
But someone should get some ice
to keep the body fresh.
1080
01:20:53,602 --> 01:20:56,251
He's just a silly little alien.
1081
01:20:56,487 --> 01:20:58,437
He didn't belong here!
1082
01:20:59,969 --> 01:21:01,539
That little alien
1083
01:21:02,168 --> 01:21:05,570
knew more about being human
than you ever will.
1084
01:21:06,367 --> 01:21:08,238
His name was Sonic.
1085
01:21:08,604 --> 01:21:10,416
This was his home.
1086
01:21:11,001 --> 01:21:12,892
And he was my friend.
1087
01:21:37,549 --> 01:21:39,185
He's all yours.
1088
01:21:40,451 --> 01:21:41,864
Everyone get back!
1089
01:21:45,354 --> 01:21:48,242
I think you have something
that belongs to me.
1090
01:21:58,954 --> 01:22:00,865
This is my power!
1091
01:22:01,053 --> 01:22:03,466
And I'm not using it
to run away anymore.
1092
01:22:03,647 --> 01:22:06,912
I'm using it to protect my friends!
1093
01:23:05,443 --> 01:23:06,791
Now you've done it!
1094
01:23:06,956 --> 01:23:09,655
Guess what, Eggman,
I'm not leaving Earth.
1095
01:23:09,826 --> 01:23:11,195
You are!
1096
01:23:11,333 --> 01:23:12,684
Donut Lord?
1097
01:24:01,540 --> 01:24:04,296
-Told you you got this.
-Hey, we got this.
1098
01:24:16,920 --> 01:24:19,557
-These belong to you.
-Thank you very much.
1099
01:24:20,395 --> 01:24:22,419
No more pushing people off the buildings.
1100
01:24:22,584 --> 01:24:24,209
You know I can't promise that.
1101
01:24:27,287 --> 01:24:30,389
-You did pretty good, space hog.
-Thanks, Donut Lord.
1102
01:24:30,538 --> 01:24:33,365
You gonna have to explain
this 'Donut Lord' thing.
1103
01:24:33,520 --> 01:24:36,071
Nope, sorry, that's for me
and our little guy. Right?
1104
01:24:36,370 --> 01:24:38,515
We got our thing, you got
your thing with your...
1105
01:24:38,634 --> 01:24:40,252
-sister.
-Oh my God, my sister.
1106
01:24:40,419 --> 01:24:42,751
Gotta go fast. Gotta go fast.
1107
01:24:44,502 --> 01:24:46,561
Jojo, put on my Fitbit.
1108
01:24:47,357 --> 01:24:49,175
Then I'll at least get some steps.
1109
01:24:49,329 --> 01:24:51,158
We can never go back there.
1110
01:24:52,036 --> 01:24:53,568
I mean, are we?
1111
01:24:55,599 --> 01:24:57,976
'Cause it kinda feels like
we're home right now.
1112
01:24:58,481 --> 01:25:00,190
Really?
1113
01:25:01,360 --> 01:25:03,885
I kinda feel like I checked
the 'save the life'
1114
01:25:04,053 --> 01:25:05,904
box off my bucket list.
1115
01:25:08,337 --> 01:25:12,086
Now all I wanna do is to spend my life
with the people I care about.
1116
01:25:13,555 --> 01:25:15,611
I wanna check that box.
1117
01:25:16,064 --> 01:25:17,976
Okay. I like that.
1118
01:25:18,249 --> 01:25:20,807
All right, everybody. Nothing to see here.
1119
01:25:21,345 --> 01:25:24,014
Disperse. Just another
ordinary day in Green Hills.
1120
01:25:24,165 --> 01:25:25,988
Carl, I'll take that chainsaw.
1121
01:25:26,284 --> 01:25:28,070
Come on, let's go!
1122
01:25:28,262 --> 01:25:30,427
You act like you've never seen
a fight between
1123
01:25:30,580 --> 01:25:34,532
an intergalactic space rodent
and a robot with a doctorate.
1124
01:25:43,672 --> 01:25:45,134
You got enough there?
1125
01:25:45,403 --> 01:25:47,464
-Yes, Mr. Manager.
-You need any more?
1126
01:25:47,693 --> 01:25:49,016
Get that--
1127
01:25:59,682 --> 01:26:01,679
Mr. and Mrs. Wachowski?
1128
01:26:02,347 --> 01:26:03,690
Yes?
1129
01:26:05,744 --> 01:26:07,844
A token of appreciation
from your government.
1130
01:26:08,011 --> 01:26:11,309
For keeping quiet about recent
incidents, which never occurred.
1131
01:26:13,381 --> 01:26:14,650
Wow!
1132
01:26:15,030 --> 01:26:17,548
-Wonder what it is.
-Money to fix the house?
1133
01:26:17,713 --> 01:26:19,966
-Letter from the President?
-You'll see.
1134
01:26:20,408 --> 01:26:21,898
Okay.
1135
01:26:24,806 --> 01:26:27,018
-Olive Garden?
-Yeah.
1136
01:26:27,306 --> 01:26:28,844
The way you said "you'll see"
1137
01:26:29,008 --> 01:26:31,574
made me think it was something
better than the things we said.
1138
01:26:31,717 --> 01:26:33,930
Have you tried their
'Never Ending Pasta Bowl'?
1139
01:26:34,157 --> 01:26:35,787
It never ends.
1140
01:26:36,009 --> 01:26:37,735
That sounds fancy.
1141
01:26:37,941 --> 01:26:40,695
Well, thank you.
We appreciate the gesture.
1142
01:26:41,326 --> 01:26:44,466
Oh, hey, I guess we can close
the file on that Robotnik guy, huh?
1143
01:26:44,634 --> 01:26:46,022
Just disappeared?
1144
01:26:46,181 --> 01:26:50,058
I'm sorry, but, no such person exists,
or ever has existed.
1145
01:26:51,297 --> 01:26:52,487
I wish that was true.
1146
01:26:52,653 --> 01:26:54,511
You haven't by any chance been in contact
1147
01:26:54,654 --> 01:26:57,226
with a certain alien creature
since the incident, have you?
1148
01:26:57,398 --> 01:26:59,290
Uncle Sam would love
to have a chat with him.
1149
01:26:59,473 --> 01:27:01,852
Very casual, brunch perhaps.
1150
01:27:03,439 --> 01:27:06,466
Oh, you mean the little blue guy?
No, no. Nothing.
1151
01:27:07,473 --> 01:27:09,651
Doubt we'll ever hear from him again.
1152
01:27:11,016 --> 01:27:13,198
-Very well.
-Okay.
1153
01:27:13,693 --> 01:27:15,535
-Thank you.
-Great.
1154
01:27:17,765 --> 01:27:19,066
Yup.
1155
01:27:22,290 --> 01:27:24,988
To be honest, I'm pretty pumped
about the pasta bowl.
1156
01:27:25,512 --> 01:27:27,380
So, you guys wanna watch a movie or what?
1157
01:27:27,515 --> 01:27:30,760
Sorry, buddy, it's a school night,
it's time for you to go back to your cave.
1158
01:27:30,879 --> 01:27:32,489
What? It's three in the afternoon!
1159
01:27:32,623 --> 01:27:34,552
You know how you get
when you're tired, come on.
1160
01:27:34,675 --> 01:27:36,157
Me? I'm not like anything.
1161
01:27:36,297 --> 01:27:39,317
-You guys are so uncool.
-Yeah, yeah. We know.
1162
01:27:39,946 --> 01:27:43,242
-Hey, buddy, where are you going?
-You said I have to go back to my cave.
1163
01:27:43,378 --> 01:27:44,560
We did.
1164
01:28:00,134 --> 01:28:02,339
Oh my-- Are you kidding me?
1165
01:28:03,219 --> 01:28:04,863
I can't believe it.
1166
01:28:05,175 --> 01:28:06,411
How did you--
1167
01:28:07,108 --> 01:28:09,377
It-- This is-- It's all here.
1168
01:28:19,620 --> 01:28:22,699
Look at this! Are you kidding?
And the bean bag? No way!
1169
01:28:23,465 --> 01:28:26,059
How did you even get this?
How did you get it all over?
1170
01:28:27,049 --> 01:28:28,932
I love it, I love it!
1171
01:28:32,479 --> 01:28:35,219
Well, welcome home.
1172
01:28:35,455 --> 01:28:37,932
Thank you so much.
1173
01:28:46,767 --> 01:28:48,247
Oh, no, you don't.
1174
01:28:48,413 --> 01:28:51,425
No second best animal friends
allowed in my room.
1175
01:28:51,924 --> 01:28:54,197
Wait, what are you doing?
Stay away from me.
1176
01:28:54,610 --> 01:28:57,304
Stop it. I'm warning you,
I've got nunchucks.
1177
01:28:57,483 --> 01:29:00,006
Hey, stop. Okay, you can stay.
1178
01:29:17,335 --> 01:29:20,683
My grasp on sanity remains absolute.
1179
01:29:22,480 --> 01:29:24,334
Isn't that right, Agent Stone?
1180
01:29:29,129 --> 01:29:31,446
Why don't you get a head start.
1181
01:29:33,363 --> 01:29:35,667
Do some rockconnaissance.
1182
01:29:36,584 --> 01:29:39,324
Rockconnaissance.
Come on, that's hilarious.
1183
01:29:39,481 --> 01:29:41,297
What's the matter with you?!
1184
01:29:41,613 --> 01:29:44,951
Here's the sitch. Uninhabited planet.
1185
01:29:46,300 --> 01:29:48,562
No resources. No supplies.
1186
01:29:48,826 --> 01:29:50,643
No apparent way home.
1187
01:29:52,727 --> 01:29:54,996
A lesser man would die here.
1188
01:29:57,564 --> 01:29:59,792
I'll be home by Christmas.
1189
01:30:18,728 --> 01:30:21,204
Rockconnaissance!
1190
01:30:24,025 --> 01:30:25,849
Come on, cheer up!
1191
01:30:26,170 --> 01:30:30,000
There is a post-credits scene
at 01:32:04! Stay tuned.
1192
01:30:30,390 --> 01:30:35,107
Subtitles by sub.Trader
subscene.com
1193
01:32:27,980 --> 01:32:30,413
If these readings are accurate, he's here.
1194
01:32:30,576 --> 01:32:31,896
I found him!
1195
01:32:32,032 --> 01:32:33,811
I just hope I'm not too late.