1 00:00:01,601 --> 00:00:03,136 THE ENTERTAINMENT INDUSTRY 2 00:00:03,203 --> 00:00:05,805 ALSO TAKING ACTION FOLLOWING 3 00:00:05,872 --> 00:00:06,906 RUSSIA'S INVASION. 4 00:00:06,973 --> 00:00:08,208 CNN SISTER COMPANY WARNER 5 00:00:08,274 --> 00:00:08,842 BROTHERS SAYS IT WILL BE PAUSING 6 00:00:08,908 --> 00:00:09,442 THE RELEASE OF THE FILM "THE 7 00:00:09,509 --> 00:00:12,412 BATMAN" IN RUSSIA OVER THE 8 00:00:12,479 --> 00:00:16,349 HUMANITARIAN CRISIS IN UKRAINE. 9 00:00:16,416 --> 00:00:17,817 >> SINCE THERE IS NO "THE 10 00:00:17,884 --> 00:00:20,453 BATMAN" RELEASE, RUSSIAN STATE 11 00:00:20,520 --> 00:00:21,855 MEDIA MADE THEIR OWN. 12 00:00:21,921 --> 00:00:25,792 ♪ ♪ ♪ 13 00:00:25,859 --> 00:00:28,361 ( "BATMAN" THEME SONG ) 14 00:00:28,428 --> 00:00:35,969 >> ROBIN ROBINOVICH, IT'S TIME 15 00:00:36,035 --> 00:00:37,804 TO DE-NAZIFY GOTHAM CITY. 16 00:00:37,871 --> 00:00:40,240 SEND IN TANKS. 17 00:00:40,306 --> 00:00:40,874 >> HOLY VATRUSHKA, VLADMAN. 18 00:00:40,940 --> 00:00:41,808 GOTHAM HAS A DEMOCRATICALLY 19 00:00:41,875 --> 00:00:45,111 ELECTED GOVERNMENT. 20 00:00:45,178 --> 00:00:45,812 INVADING UNPROVOKED KIND OF 21 00:00:45,879 --> 00:00:49,616 MAKES YOU THE NAZI. 22 00:00:49,682 --> 00:00:50,283 >> YOU HAVE GIVEN ME MUCH TO 23 00:00:50,350 --> 00:00:53,787 THINK ABOUT, ROBIN ROBINOVICH. 24 00:00:53,853 --> 00:00:56,222 >> COMRADE, I WAS KIDDING! 25 00:00:56,289 --> 00:00:57,757 ♪ VLADMAN ♪ 26 00:00:57,824 --> 00:01:01,528 >> Announcer: IT'S "THE LATE 27 00:01:01,594 --> 00:01:04,397 SHOW WITH STEPHEN COLBERT." 28 00:01:04,464 --> 00:01:05,765 TONIGHT: 29 00:01:05,832 --> 00:01:10,069 PLUS, STEPHEN WELCOMES: 30 00:01:10,136 --> 00:01:13,807 ANDY SERKIS 31 00:01:13,873 --> 00:01:17,811 AND FIONA HILL 32 00:01:17,877 --> 00:01:21,848 WITH A SPECIAL APPEARANCE BY 33 00:01:21,915 --> 00:01:29,756 BE SARA BAREILLES AND JOSH GRO. 34 00:01:29,823 --> 00:01:31,191 FEATURING JON BATISTE AND STAY 35 00:01:31,257 --> 00:01:31,858 HUMAN. 36 00:01:31,925 --> 00:01:32,559 AND NOW, LIVE ON TAPE FROM THE 37 00:01:32,625 --> 00:01:33,793 ED SULLIVAN THEATER IN NEW YORK 38 00:01:33,860 --> 00:01:34,360 CITY, IT'S STEPHEN COLBERT! 39 00:01:34,427 --> 00:01:40,366 ♪ ♪ ♪ 40 00:01:40,433 --> 00:01:46,172 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) 41 00:01:46,239 --> 00:01:53,813 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) 42 00:01:53,880 --> 00:02:06,559 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) 43 00:02:06,626 --> 00:02:08,761 AND GENTLEMEN. 44 00:02:08,828 --> 00:02:09,796 WELCOME TO "THE LATE SHOW." 45 00:02:09,863 --> 00:02:13,366 I AM YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT. 46 00:02:13,433 --> 00:02:13,967 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) 47 00:02:14,033 --> 00:02:16,369 ABOUT RUSSIA'S INVASION OF 48 00:02:16,436 --> 00:02:21,841 UKRAINE,EXCEPT FOR LAST NIGHT, 49 00:02:21,908 --> 00:02:23,409 WHEN WE TOOK A BRIEF BREAK TO 50 00:02:23,476 --> 00:02:24,077 TALK ABOUT THE PRESIDENT TALKING 51 00:02:24,143 --> 00:02:25,812 ABOUT RUSSIA'S INVASION OF 52 00:02:25,879 --> 00:02:26,746 UKRAINE. 53 00:02:26,813 --> 00:02:29,816 LAST NIGHT, WE WERE LIVE. 54 00:02:29,883 --> 00:02:32,819 SO TONIGHT, I'M DEAD INSIDE. 55 00:02:32,886 --> 00:02:36,055 BUT I'M GLAD WE PUT EFFORT TO 56 00:02:36,122 --> 00:02:39,492 NTO MAKE THE LIVE SHOW. 57 00:02:39,559 --> 00:02:40,193 BECAUSE IT WAS A PRETTY GOOD 58 00:02:40,260 --> 00:02:40,760 NIGHT FOR THE PRESIDENT, UNLIKE 59 00:02:40,827 --> 00:02:41,628 FOR SOME OF HIS CRITICS. 60 00:02:41,694 --> 00:02:42,295 YOU SEE, THE D.C. AREA WAS PUT 61 00:02:42,362 --> 00:02:43,229 ON HIGH ALERT AFTER A GROUP OF 62 00:02:43,296 --> 00:02:43,997 TRUCKERS THREATENED TO SWARM 63 00:02:44,063 --> 00:02:44,597 INTO THE CAPITAL TO PROTEST 64 00:02:44,664 --> 00:02:45,798 BIDEN'S SPEECH AND VACCINE 65 00:02:45,865 --> 00:02:46,366 MANDATES THE WAY THEY HAD IN 66 00:02:46,432 --> 00:02:49,636 CANADA. 67 00:02:49,702 --> 00:02:50,303 ORGANIZERS ESTIMATED THERE WOULD 68 00:02:50,370 --> 00:02:51,704 BE UPWARDS OF 3,000 ATTENDEES. 69 00:02:51,771 --> 00:02:55,575 BUT BY THE TIME BIDEN'S SPEECH 70 00:02:55,642 --> 00:02:57,810 BEGAN, ONLY 12 RALLY-GOERS HAD 71 00:02:57,877 --> 00:03:00,780 ACTUALLY ASSEMBLED. 72 00:03:00,847 --> 00:03:01,781 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ). 73 00:03:01,848 --> 00:03:04,384 12. 74 00:03:04,450 --> 00:03:07,854 12. 75 00:03:07,921 --> 00:03:08,521 AND MOST OF THEM JUST WANTED TO 76 00:03:08,588 --> 00:03:09,756 SEE TRUCKERS SO THEY COULD DO 77 00:03:09,822 --> 00:03:12,158 THIS. 78 00:03:12,225 --> 00:03:14,894 ( HORN HONKING ) 79 00:03:14,961 --> 00:03:16,362 TAKE A LOOK AT HOW EMPTY THIS 80 00:03:16,429 --> 00:03:17,797 RALLY WAS. 81 00:03:17,864 --> 00:03:19,465 ( LAUGHTER ) 82 00:03:19,532 --> 00:03:21,801 THROUGH THE PLACE, IF ANY HAD 83 00:03:21,868 --> 00:03:25,805 SHOWN UP. 84 00:03:25,872 --> 00:03:29,709 PART OF THE PROBLEM MIGHT HAVE 85 00:03:29,776 --> 00:03:30,310 BEEN THE RALLY'S ORGANIZER, 86 00:03:30,376 --> 00:03:31,177 FORMER M.M.A. FIGHTER AND 87 00:03:31,244 --> 00:03:32,078 AUTHORITARIAN WIGGLE, KYLE 88 00:03:32,145 --> 00:03:32,845 SEFCIK. 89 00:03:32,912 --> 00:03:33,479 TAKE A LOOK AT THIS VIDEO SEFCIK 90 00:03:33,546 --> 00:03:34,047 RELEASED OF HIS OWN STIRRING 91 00:03:34,113 --> 00:03:36,182 WORDS: 92 00:03:36,249 --> 00:03:37,784 >> ALL RIGHT, YOU GUYS, THANKS 93 00:03:37,850 --> 00:03:38,818 FOR BEING HERE TODAY, ALL RIGHT. 94 00:03:38,885 --> 00:03:40,353 SO, FEW REASONS WE'RE HERE 95 00:03:40,420 --> 00:03:41,387 TODAY. 96 00:03:41,454 --> 00:03:42,055 >> Stephen: (AS SEFCIK) 97 00:03:42,121 --> 00:03:42,755 "THE FIRST BEING THAT MANY OF 98 00:03:42,822 --> 00:03:45,058 YOU ARE LOST ON YOUR WAY TO THE 99 00:03:45,124 --> 00:03:45,792 AIR AND SPACE MUSEUM. 100 00:03:45,858 --> 00:03:47,493 ( LAUGHTER ) 101 00:03:47,560 --> 00:03:49,796 TO PICK UP TRASH IN THIS PARKING 102 00:03:49,862 --> 00:03:50,897 LOT. 103 00:03:50,964 --> 00:03:51,497 AND THE REST ARE OUR MOMS WHO 104 00:03:51,564 --> 00:03:53,800 ARE DRIVING US HOME." 105 00:03:53,866 --> 00:03:56,369 ( LAUGHTER ) 106 00:03:56,436 --> 00:03:58,871 THERE ARE 12 PEOPLE THERE. 107 00:03:58,938 --> 00:04:01,441 YOU COULD JUST DO IT A.S.M.R. 108 00:04:01,507 --> 00:04:05,712 ( WHISPERING ) 109 00:04:05,778 --> 00:04:08,514 HEY, EVERYBODY. 110 00:04:08,581 --> 00:04:09,148 HI. 111 00:04:09,215 --> 00:04:10,516 DESPITE CRIPPLING FINANCIAL 112 00:04:10,583 --> 00:04:11,217 SANCTIONS AND RUSSIAN DRESSING 113 00:04:11,284 --> 00:04:12,051 BEING PULLED FROM THE SHELVES OF 114 00:04:12,118 --> 00:04:13,186 YOUR LOCAL KROGER, THE INVASION 115 00:04:13,252 --> 00:04:15,321 OF UKRAINE CONTINUES. 116 00:04:15,388 --> 00:04:16,422 RUSSIAN FORCES HAVE CAPTURED 117 00:04:16,489 --> 00:04:19,525 THEIR FIRST CITY AND INTENSIFIED 118 00:04:19,592 --> 00:04:20,226 THEIR CRIMINAL ATTACKS ON THE 119 00:04:20,293 --> 00:04:23,129 DEFENSELESS CIVILIAN POPULATION. 120 00:04:23,196 --> 00:04:23,997 BUT FIERCE UKRAINIAN RESISTANCE 121 00:04:24,063 --> 00:04:24,597 CONTINUES TO DENY THE KREMLIN 122 00:04:24,664 --> 00:04:26,666 THE EASY VICTORY IT HAD 123 00:04:26,733 --> 00:04:27,066 ANTICIPATED. 124 00:04:27,133 --> 00:04:28,234 IN FACT-- 125 00:04:28,301 --> 00:04:28,801 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) 126 00:04:28,868 --> 00:04:40,780 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) 127 00:04:40,847 --> 00:04:44,851 CONVOY STRETCHING 40 MILES LONG 128 00:04:44,917 --> 00:04:46,219 ON A ROADWAY NORTH OF KYIV 129 00:04:46,285 --> 00:04:47,553 APPEARS TO HAVE BOGGED DOWN. 130 00:04:47,620 --> 00:04:48,988 SO YOU KNOW THOSE TROOPS MUST BE 131 00:04:49,055 --> 00:04:50,189 BORED AS HELL. 132 00:04:50,256 --> 00:04:52,792 ( RUSSIAN ACCENT ) 133 00:04:52,859 --> 00:04:58,197 SOMETHING THAT START WITH 'T.'" 134 00:04:58,264 --> 00:05:02,201 "IS TANK?" 135 00:05:02,268 --> 00:05:04,771 ( LAUGHTER ) 136 00:05:04,837 --> 00:05:10,209 IS ALWAYS TANK." 137 00:05:10,276 --> 00:05:14,147 ( LAUGHTER ) 138 00:05:14,213 --> 00:05:16,749 FACING FUEL AND FOOD SHORTAGES, 139 00:05:16,816 --> 00:05:19,318 AND ARE GRIPPED BY LOMORAL, 140 00:05:19,385 --> 00:05:22,255 LEADING SOME TO SURRENDER 141 00:05:22,321 --> 00:05:23,256 EN MASSE. 142 00:05:23,322 --> 00:05:26,159 EVIDENTLY, THE RUSSIAN MARINES' 143 00:05:26,225 --> 00:05:27,393 SLOGAN IS "SEMPER-BYEEEEEE." 144 00:05:27,460 --> 00:05:28,094 AND ON THEIR WAY OUT, THEY'RE 145 00:05:28,161 --> 00:05:28,795 NOT PICKING UP AFTER THEMSELVES. 146 00:05:28,861 --> 00:05:30,196 TAKE A LOOK AT THIS VIDEO OF 147 00:05:30,263 --> 00:05:31,931 UKRAINIAN TROOPS FINDING 148 00:05:31,998 --> 00:05:34,200 ABANDONED RUSSIAN ARMORED 149 00:05:34,267 --> 00:05:34,901 VEHICLES. 150 00:05:34,967 --> 00:05:37,603 SOUNDS LIKE A GREAT OPPORTUNITY 151 00:05:37,670 --> 00:05:38,204 FOR UKRAINE'S NUMBER ONE 152 00:05:38,271 --> 00:05:40,773 AUTOMOTIVE CHARITY: 153 00:05:40,840 --> 00:05:42,508 1-877-TANKS-FOR-TOTS. 154 00:05:42,575 --> 00:05:46,212 ♪ DONATE YOUR TANK TODAY ♪ 155 00:05:46,279 --> 00:05:52,785 ( APPLAUSE ) 156 00:05:52,852 --> 00:05:58,191 EVERYDAY UKRAINIANS LOOKING TO 157 00:05:58,257 --> 00:05:59,659 PICK UP A CERTIFIED PRE-OWNED 158 00:05:59,726 --> 00:06:01,294 VEHICLE: THE UKRAINE GOVERNMENT 159 00:06:01,360 --> 00:06:02,028 SAYS CITIZENS DON'T NEED TO 160 00:06:02,095 --> 00:06:02,695 DECLARE CAPTURED RUSSIAN TANKS 161 00:06:02,762 --> 00:06:04,797 AND MILITARY EQUIPMENT FOR TAX 162 00:06:04,864 --> 00:06:05,398 PURPOSES. 163 00:06:05,465 --> 00:06:06,365 WELL, THAT IS GREAT NEWS, 164 00:06:06,432 --> 00:06:09,936 BECAUSE WE'VE ALL BEEN THERE. 165 00:06:10,002 --> 00:06:10,603 YOU COME ACROSS AN ABANDONED 166 00:06:10,670 --> 00:06:11,270 RUSSIAN T-72B3 TANK, AND YOUR 167 00:06:11,337 --> 00:06:11,938 FIRST THOUGHT IS, "HOW IS THIS 168 00:06:12,004 --> 00:06:14,207 GOING TO IMPACT MY TAXABLE 169 00:06:14,273 --> 00:06:16,709 INCOME?" 170 00:06:16,776 --> 00:06:18,010 ( APPLAUSE ) 171 00:06:18,077 --> 00:06:22,815 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) 172 00:06:22,882 --> 00:06:30,189 MILITARY TAX ACCOUNTANTS AT THE 173 00:06:30,256 --> 00:06:30,823 C.P.A.-TEAM. 174 00:06:30,890 --> 00:06:34,193 I PITY THE FOOL WHO DOESN'T 175 00:06:34,260 --> 00:06:35,528 ITEMIZE HIS DEDUCTIONS! 176 00:06:35,595 --> 00:06:37,830 GOTTA WORK ON MY MR. "T." 177 00:06:37,897 --> 00:06:39,165 IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME. 178 00:06:39,232 --> 00:06:41,467 IT'S BEEN ABOUT 40 YEARS. 179 00:06:41,534 --> 00:06:42,201 NOT EVERY RUSSIAN SOLDIER HAS 180 00:06:42,268 --> 00:06:43,369 WALKED AWAY. 181 00:06:43,436 --> 00:06:45,071 ONE VIDEO BEING SHARED ON 182 00:06:45,138 --> 00:06:45,905 UKRAINIAN CHANNELS SHOWS A 183 00:06:45,972 --> 00:06:46,539 CAPTURED RUSSIAN SOLDIER BEING 184 00:06:46,606 --> 00:06:50,209 GIVEN FOOD AND TEA AND BEING 185 00:06:50,276 --> 00:06:51,344 ALLOWED TO FACE-TIME HIS MOM. 186 00:06:51,410 --> 00:06:52,411 SNACKS AND A PARENTAL PHONE 187 00:06:52,478 --> 00:06:53,112 CALL? 188 00:06:53,179 --> 00:06:54,213 THE UKRAINIANS ARE UNDER ATTACK, 189 00:06:54,280 --> 00:06:55,581 AND THEY'RE TREATING THEIR 190 00:06:55,648 --> 00:06:56,315 INVADERS LIKE HOMESICK CAMPERS. 191 00:06:56,382 --> 00:06:58,217 ( AS CAMP COUNSELOR ) 192 00:06:58,284 --> 00:07:02,188 HOME, AND IT IS VERY SCARY. 193 00:07:02,255 --> 00:07:03,956 WHY DON'T YOU GIVE ME YOUR GUN. 194 00:07:04,023 --> 00:07:04,824 OKAY. 195 00:07:04,891 --> 00:07:07,727 YOU TAKE THIS YARN AND GO MAKE 196 00:07:07,794 --> 00:07:11,664 AN INVASION BRACELET OVER THERE. 197 00:07:11,731 --> 00:07:12,698 DMITRI STARTED ONE. 198 00:07:12,765 --> 00:07:14,834 GO HANG OUT WITH DMITRI OVER 199 00:07:14,901 --> 00:07:15,468 THERE. 200 00:07:15,535 --> 00:07:18,204 YOU GUYS ARE BOTH RUSSIAN." 201 00:07:18,271 --> 00:07:19,005 ( APPLAUSE ) 202 00:07:19,071 --> 00:07:21,674 DEFIANT, LIKE THIS GRANDMA WHO 203 00:07:21,741 --> 00:07:22,241 SPOKE TO CNN: 204 00:07:22,308 --> 00:07:22,909 >> "LET THOSE RUSSIAN 205 00:07:22,975 --> 00:07:26,212 (BLEEP) COME HERE," SHE SAYS. 206 00:07:26,279 --> 00:07:26,879 "WE ARE READY TO GREET THEM. 207 00:07:26,946 --> 00:07:28,815 HOW DID YOU LEARN HOW TO MAKE 208 00:07:28,881 --> 00:07:30,817 MOLOTOV COCKTAILS? 209 00:07:30,883 --> 00:07:34,220 "GOOGLE HELPED," SHE 210 00:07:34,287 --> 00:07:34,821 TELLS ME. 211 00:07:34,887 --> 00:07:38,191 YOU GOOGLED IT? 212 00:07:38,257 --> 00:07:40,626 "OF COURSE," SHE SAYS. 213 00:07:40,693 --> 00:07:41,260 >> Stephen: UGH, GOOGLING 214 00:07:41,327 --> 00:07:42,195 MOLOTOV COCKTAIL RECIPES IS 215 00:07:42,261 --> 00:07:43,362 ALWAYS SUCH A PAIN, BECAUSE 216 00:07:43,429 --> 00:07:45,431 FIRST YOU HAVE TO SCROLL THROUGH 217 00:07:45,498 --> 00:07:46,199 A WHOLE BLOG POST. 218 00:07:46,265 --> 00:07:48,134 "AS A BUSY MOM, IT CAN BE TOUGH 219 00:07:48,201 --> 00:07:50,036 TO FIND AN EXPLOSIVES RECIPE 220 00:07:50,102 --> 00:07:50,703 THAT WORKS FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY. 221 00:07:50,770 --> 00:07:52,805 BY THE TIME I GET KAYLEIGH AND 222 00:07:52,872 --> 00:07:53,573 BRAXTON HOME FROM SOCCER 223 00:07:53,639 --> 00:07:54,240 PRACTICE, I JUST WANT A 224 00:07:54,307 --> 00:07:56,876 30-MINUTE WAY TO VANQUISH THE 225 00:07:56,943 --> 00:07:57,677 ARMIES OF DARKNESS. 226 00:07:57,743 --> 00:07:58,311 THANK GOODNESS FOR MY COSORI AIR 227 00:07:58,377 --> 00:08:02,215 FRYER." 228 00:08:02,281 --> 00:08:04,483 THEN THERE'S THIS WOMAN FROM THE 229 00:08:04,550 --> 00:08:07,520 CITY OF KONOTOP-- AM I SAILING 230 00:08:07,587 --> 00:08:09,789 THAT RIGHT-- FROM KONOTOP, WHO 231 00:08:09,856 --> 00:08:12,391 CURSED THE RUSSIANS, LITERALLY. 232 00:08:12,458 --> 00:08:12,825 >> ( translated): 233 00:08:12,892 --> 00:08:13,860 IT'S KONOTOP. 234 00:08:13,926 --> 00:08:14,427 HERE EVERY SECOND WOMAN IS A 235 00:08:14,493 --> 00:08:15,361 WITCH. 236 00:08:15,428 --> 00:08:16,295 TOMORROW, YOU'LL NO LONGER BE 237 00:08:16,362 --> 00:08:16,829 ABLE TO GET YOUR PENIS TO 238 00:08:16,896 --> 00:08:20,700 STAND." 239 00:08:20,766 --> 00:08:21,234 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) 240 00:08:21,300 --> 00:08:22,835 >> Jon: OH! 241 00:08:22,902 --> 00:08:24,937 >> Stephen: OH! 242 00:08:25,004 --> 00:08:26,038 >> Jon: OH. 243 00:08:26,105 --> 00:08:27,640 >> Stephen: OH! 244 00:08:27,707 --> 00:08:30,209 >> Jon: OH! 245 00:08:30,276 --> 00:08:32,345 >> Stephen: WOW, THE WICKED 246 00:08:32,411 --> 00:08:32,945 WITCH OF THE EASTERN BLOC. 247 00:08:33,012 --> 00:08:34,213 I THINK WE HAVE SOME MORE 248 00:08:34,280 --> 00:08:38,217 FOOTAGE: 249 00:08:38,284 --> 00:08:40,820 >> I'LL GET YOU, MY PRETTY, AND 250 00:08:40,887 --> 00:08:46,192 YOUR LITTLE DONG TOO! 251 00:08:46,259 --> 00:08:47,159 >> Stephen: NEARLY THE ENTIRE 252 00:08:47,226 --> 00:08:49,695 WORLD HAS UNITED IN ITS 253 00:08:49,762 --> 00:08:52,164 CONCHEMINATION OF RUSSIA. 254 00:08:52,231 --> 00:08:52,832 IN FACT, ONE OF THEIR LAST 255 00:08:52,899 --> 00:08:54,200 REMAINING ALLIES IS BELARUSIAN 256 00:08:54,267 --> 00:08:56,102 STRONGMAN ALEXANDER LUKASHENKO, 257 00:08:56,168 --> 00:08:58,671 SEEN HERE DRESSED IN THE PUBES 258 00:08:58,738 --> 00:09:00,506 OF OF HIS ENEMIES. 259 00:09:00,573 --> 00:09:02,942 GOT SOME VERY OLD ENEMIES, 260 00:09:03,009 --> 00:09:04,810 EVIDENTLY. 261 00:09:04,877 --> 00:09:05,945 ( LAUGHTER ) 262 00:09:06,012 --> 00:09:09,248 LUKASHENKO MIGHT NOT BE THE 263 00:09:09,315 --> 00:09:10,216 SHARPEST TURNIP IN THE BASKET, 264 00:09:10,283 --> 00:09:11,918 BECAUSE YESTERDAY, A REPORTER 265 00:09:11,984 --> 00:09:13,853 TWEETED OUT THIS PHOTO, 266 00:09:13,920 --> 00:09:14,553 EXPLAINING THAT LUKASHENKO WAS 267 00:09:14,620 --> 00:09:16,522 ADDRESSING HIS SECURITY COUNCIL, 268 00:09:16,589 --> 00:09:17,189 SHOWING PLANNED TROOP MOVEMENTS, 269 00:09:17,256 --> 00:09:18,190 INFRASTRUCTURE TARGETS, AND A 270 00:09:18,257 --> 00:09:21,093 PLAN TO DIVIDE UKRAINE INTO FOUR 271 00:09:21,160 --> 00:09:21,694 PARTS. 272 00:09:21,761 --> 00:09:22,228 THIS GUY IS WORSE THAN THE 273 00:09:22,295 --> 00:09:23,763 DUMBEST BOND VILLAIN. 274 00:09:23,829 --> 00:09:25,665 ( AS VILLAIN ) 275 00:09:25,731 --> 00:09:26,832 MISTER BOND, I HAVE DETAILED 276 00:09:26,899 --> 00:09:28,834 PLANS TO TAKE OVER UKRAINE. 277 00:09:28,901 --> 00:09:31,637 PROMISE NOT TO MEMORIZE IT! 278 00:09:31,704 --> 00:09:34,206 I WILL NOW LEAVE YOU TO A VERY 279 00:09:34,273 --> 00:09:35,608 SLOW AND UNSUPERVISED DEATH. 280 00:09:35,675 --> 00:09:37,310 AND I WILL JUST LEAVE MY 281 00:09:37,376 --> 00:09:37,777 CELLPHONE RIGHT HERE." 282 00:09:37,843 --> 00:09:38,477 ( LAUGHTER ) 283 00:09:38,544 --> 00:09:40,813 EVEN-- EVEN-- EVEN WORSE-- THANK 284 00:09:40,880 --> 00:09:41,147 YOU. 285 00:09:41,213 --> 00:09:41,981 THANK YOU. 286 00:09:42,048 --> 00:09:44,383 EVEN WORSE-- 287 00:09:44,450 --> 00:09:44,717 ( APPLAUSE ) 288 00:09:44,784 --> 00:09:50,823 THANKS. 289 00:09:50,890 --> 00:09:52,825 I'M ANNUAL ACTOR. 290 00:09:52,892 --> 00:09:54,193 EVEN WORSE, THE MAP SUGGESTS 291 00:09:54,260 --> 00:09:54,794 THAT PUTIN IS CONSIDERING AN 292 00:09:54,860 --> 00:09:57,063 ATTACK ON MOLDOVA. 293 00:09:57,129 --> 00:09:58,197 THAT'S RIGHT. 294 00:09:58,264 --> 00:10:04,837 AN INVASION OF MOLDOVA IS BEING, 295 00:10:04,904 --> 00:10:06,205 "MULLED OVA." 296 00:10:06,272 --> 00:10:07,473 NOTHING, JOE. 297 00:10:07,540 --> 00:10:08,174 THANK YOU. 298 00:10:08,240 --> 00:10:09,608 I WAS LAYING BETS DOWNSTAIRS IF 299 00:10:09,675 --> 00:10:10,810 YOU WERE GOING TO DO THAT. 300 00:10:10,876 --> 00:10:12,311 OKAY. 301 00:10:12,378 --> 00:10:12,945 THE SANCTIONS CONTINUE TO RAIN 302 00:10:13,012 --> 00:10:13,879 PAIN. 303 00:10:13,946 --> 00:10:14,513 VISA AND MASTERCARD HAVE BLOCKED 304 00:10:14,580 --> 00:10:15,881 RUSSIAN BANKS FROM THEIR 305 00:10:15,948 --> 00:10:16,816 NETWORKS. 306 00:10:16,882 --> 00:10:21,854 THAT EXPLAINS THEIR NEW SLOGAN: 307 00:10:21,921 --> 00:10:22,555 "VISA, IT'S EVERYWHERE YOU WANT 308 00:10:22,621 --> 00:10:23,122 TO BE, BECAUSE YOU DON'T WANT TO 309 00:10:23,189 --> 00:10:25,091 BE IN RUSSIA." 310 00:10:25,157 --> 00:10:25,658 IN HIS-- 311 00:10:25,725 --> 00:10:26,192 ( APPLAUSE ) 312 00:10:26,258 --> 00:10:31,731 THIS IS 1981 OUT HERE. 313 00:10:31,797 --> 00:10:32,365 IN HIS SPEECH LAST NIGHT, BIDEN 314 00:10:32,431 --> 00:10:34,200 TOOK THE FIGHT DIRECTLY TO 315 00:10:34,266 --> 00:10:37,470 PUTIN'S CRONIES: 316 00:10:37,536 --> 00:10:38,204 >> THE UNITED STATES DEPARTMENT 317 00:10:38,270 --> 00:10:39,705 OF JUSTICE IS ASSEMBLING A 318 00:10:39,772 --> 00:10:40,339 DEDICATED TASK FORCE TO GO AFTER 319 00:10:40,406 --> 00:10:40,873 THE CRIMES OF THE RUSSIAN 320 00:10:40,940 --> 00:10:46,012 OLIGARCHS. 321 00:10:46,078 --> 00:10:46,679 WE ARE JOINING WITH EUROPEAN 322 00:10:46,746 --> 00:10:49,749 ALLIES TO FIND AND SEIZE THEIR 323 00:10:49,815 --> 00:10:50,316 YACHTS. 324 00:10:50,383 --> 00:10:52,818 >> Stephen: YOU HEARIA, 325 00:10:52,885 --> 00:10:57,423 OLIGARCHS? 326 00:10:57,490 --> 00:10:58,190 THE FEDS ARE LOOKING FOR YOUR 327 00:10:58,257 --> 00:10:58,791 LUXURY SHIPS. 328 00:10:58,858 --> 00:11:01,527 THEY'VE MADE A GAME OF IT: 329 00:11:01,594 --> 00:11:01,861 "YACHT-SEE." 330 00:11:01,927 --> 00:11:02,495 TURNS OUT 331 00:11:02,561 --> 00:11:03,029 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) 332 00:11:03,095 --> 00:11:06,198 SHOTS. 333 00:11:06,265 --> 00:11:09,602 TURNS OUT, THERE'S A LITTLE 334 00:11:09,668 --> 00:11:10,302 SECTION OF THE CONSTITUTION THAT 335 00:11:10,369 --> 00:11:11,003 ALLOWS CONGRESS TO GRANT LETTERS 336 00:11:11,070 --> 00:11:13,639 OF MARQUE AND REPRISAL AND MAKE 337 00:11:13,706 --> 00:11:14,340 RULES CONCERNING CAPTURES ON 338 00:11:14,407 --> 00:11:15,908 LAND AND WATER, WHICH MEANS THE 339 00:11:15,975 --> 00:11:16,842 GOVERNMENT CAN EMPOWER PRIVATE 340 00:11:16,909 --> 00:11:18,210 INDIVIDUALS TO LEGALLY SEIZE 341 00:11:18,277 --> 00:11:21,113 FOREIGN VESSELS. 342 00:11:21,180 --> 00:11:21,781 AND THERE'S NO BETTER PRIVATE 343 00:11:21,847 --> 00:11:22,348 INDIVIDUAL FOR THIS JOB THAN. 344 00:11:22,415 --> 00:11:24,183 "DOG THE BOATY HUNTER." 345 00:11:24,250 --> 00:11:26,218 ( LAUGHTER ) 346 00:11:26,285 --> 00:11:28,187 THANK YOU. 347 00:11:28,254 --> 00:11:29,622 IT'S A LONG SWIM. 348 00:11:29,688 --> 00:11:34,193 A LONG SWIM RIGHT THERE. 349 00:11:34,260 --> 00:11:40,833 IN ORDER TO GET AROUND PUTIN'S 350 00:11:40,900 --> 00:11:42,201 INTERNET CENSORSHIP AT HOME, 351 00:11:42,268 --> 00:11:42,968 PEOPLE AROUND THE WORLD ARE 352 00:11:43,035 --> 00:11:44,203 LETTING RUSSIANS KNOW THE TRUE 353 00:11:44,270 --> 00:11:45,171 NATURE OF THIS WAR BY POSTING 354 00:11:45,237 --> 00:11:46,205 GOOGLE REVIEWS FOR RESTAURANTS 355 00:11:46,272 --> 00:11:48,574 IN MOSCOW AND ST. PETERSBURG 356 00:11:48,641 --> 00:11:50,209 WITH THE INFORMATION ABOUT THE 357 00:11:50,276 --> 00:11:52,244 EVENTS UNFOLDING IN UKRAINE. 358 00:11:52,311 --> 00:11:52,945 WITH MESSAGES LIKE, "YOUR 359 00:11:53,012 --> 00:11:53,412 PRESIDENT STARTED A WAR AGAINST 360 00:11:53,479 --> 00:11:54,046 UKRAINE." 361 00:11:54,113 --> 00:11:54,313 "YOUR GOVERNMENT IS LYING TO 362 00:11:54,380 --> 00:11:55,681 YOU." 363 00:11:55,748 --> 00:11:56,715 "PLEASE STOP WAR AGAINST YOUR 364 00:11:56,782 --> 00:11:58,217 UKRAINIAN BROTHERS." 365 00:11:58,284 --> 00:11:58,918 "GIVE PEACE A CHANCE." 366 00:11:58,984 --> 00:12:02,054 AND, "THIS IS A NO-WIN SITUATION 367 00:12:02,121 --> 00:12:02,721 FOR ALL." 368 00:12:02,788 --> 00:12:03,456 THAT LAST ONE IS ACTUALLY THE 369 00:12:03,522 --> 00:12:07,359 SLOGAN OF THE MOSCOW TACO BELL. 370 00:12:07,426 --> 00:12:07,893 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) 371 00:12:07,960 --> 00:12:09,829 TONIGHT. 372 00:12:09,895 --> 00:12:11,363 MY GUESTS ARE ANDY SERKIS AND 373 00:12:11,430 --> 00:12:13,332 RUSSIA EXPERT FIONA HILL. 374 00:12:13,399 --> 00:12:14,400 BUT WHEN WE COME BACK, I 375 00:12:14,467 --> 00:12:15,501 CELEBRATE A VERY IMPORTANT 376 00:12:15,568 --> 00:12:17,870 ANNIVERSARY. 377 00:12:17,937 --> 00:12:20,906 JOIN US, WON'T YOU? 378 00:12:20,973 --> 00:12:21,307 ♪ ♪ ♪ 379 00:12:21,373 --> 00:12:23,876 ( APPLAUSE ) 380 00:12:45,030 --> 00:12:55,007 ♪ ♪ ♪ 381 00:12:55,074 --> 00:12:59,378 ( APPLAUSE ) 382 00:12:59,445 --> 00:13:02,114 STAY HUMAN, EVERYBODY. 383 00:13:02,181 --> 00:13:10,923 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) 384 00:13:10,990 --> 00:13:14,393 >> Stephen: JON, WE DID THE 385 00:13:14,460 --> 00:13:16,295 LIVE SHOW LAST NIGHT. 386 00:13:16,362 --> 00:13:18,197 A LOVE SHOW LAST NIGHT, AND 387 00:13:18,264 --> 00:13:19,598 THOSE ARE REALLY TIGHT. 388 00:13:19,665 --> 00:13:21,834 IT'S ALL A DOUBLE-STUFFED OREO, 389 00:13:21,901 --> 00:13:24,403 WE HAVE TO GET RIGHT THROUGH IT. 390 00:13:24,470 --> 00:13:28,374 AND I DIDN'T GET A CHANCE TO SAY 391 00:13:28,440 --> 00:13:29,175 HAPPY MARDI GRAS. 392 00:13:29,241 --> 00:13:30,009 >> Jon: YES, INDEED. 393 00:13:30,075 --> 00:13:31,710 >> Stephen: AND, SO, DID YOU-- 394 00:13:31,777 --> 00:13:35,347 DID YOU-- DID YOU CELEBRATE 395 00:13:35,414 --> 00:13:36,615 MARDI GRAS IN ANY WAY? 396 00:13:36,682 --> 00:13:38,617 >> Jon: I PUT ON MARDI GRAS 397 00:13:38,684 --> 00:13:41,086 TUNES IN MY DRESSING ROOM AND 398 00:13:41,153 --> 00:13:41,754 DANCE S. 399 00:13:41,820 --> 00:13:42,922 >> Stephen: MARCHED AROUND BY 400 00:13:42,988 --> 00:13:43,322 YOURSELF. 401 00:13:43,389 --> 00:13:43,856 ONE-MAN VIEW. 402 00:13:43,923 --> 00:13:44,523 >> Jon: YES. 403 00:13:44,590 --> 00:13:45,391 >> Stephen: I HOLD IN MY HANDS 404 00:13:45,457 --> 00:13:46,025 HERE. 405 00:13:46,091 --> 00:13:47,326 I HAVE THE CARDS FOR OUR TWO 406 00:13:47,393 --> 00:13:48,928 GUESTS TONIGHT, TWO VERY 407 00:13:48,994 --> 00:13:49,528 EXCITING GUESTS. 408 00:13:49,595 --> 00:13:52,631 ONE IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE 409 00:13:52,698 --> 00:13:53,332 PERFORMERS. 410 00:13:53,399 --> 00:13:54,400 ANDY SERKIS IS GOING TO BE HERE. 411 00:13:54,466 --> 00:13:56,602 AND THE NEW "BATMAN" WHICH YOU 412 00:13:56,669 --> 00:13:58,170 CAN'T SEE IN RUSSIA, CAN'T SEE 413 00:13:58,237 --> 00:13:59,438 IN RUSSIA. 414 00:13:59,505 --> 00:14:00,906 AND THEN RUSSIA EXPERT FIONA 415 00:14:00,973 --> 00:14:01,874 HILL IS HERE. 416 00:14:01,941 --> 00:14:03,275 SHE IS GOING TO EXPLAIN A LOT OF 417 00:14:03,342 --> 00:14:05,277 WHAT'S GOING ON OVER IN THE WAR 418 00:14:05,344 --> 00:14:11,550 IN UKRAINE AND PUTIN'S 419 00:14:11,617 --> 00:14:12,218 MOTIVATIONS. 420 00:14:12,284 --> 00:14:12,751 FOLKS, THIS IS A VERY SPECIAL 421 00:14:12,818 --> 00:14:13,686 NIGHT FOR ME, BECAUSE 422 00:14:13,752 --> 00:14:14,386 TONIGHT, I'M CELEBRATING ONE OF 423 00:14:14,453 --> 00:14:14,954 THE SWEETEST THINGS THAT'S EVER 424 00:14:15,020 --> 00:14:16,789 HAPPENED IN MY LIFE. 425 00:14:16,855 --> 00:14:18,924 THIS IS MY ANNIVERSARY... 426 00:14:18,991 --> 00:14:21,560 ( APPLAUSE ) 427 00:14:21,627 --> 00:14:26,932 FLAVOR: 428 00:14:26,999 --> 00:14:27,933 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) 429 00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:30,936 AMERICONE DREAM." 430 00:14:31,003 --> 00:14:33,572 IT'S HARD TO BELIEVE, BUT IT WAS 431 00:14:33,639 --> 00:14:34,940 15 YEARS AGO THIS WEEK THAT BEN 432 00:14:35,007 --> 00:14:36,475 AND JERRY APPEARED ON MY OLD 433 00:14:36,542 --> 00:14:38,944 SHOW TO INTRODUCE AMERICONE 434 00:14:39,011 --> 00:14:39,645 DREAM TO THE WORLD. 435 00:14:39,712 --> 00:14:41,947 AND I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING. 436 00:14:42,014 --> 00:14:42,948 BUT, REMEMBER, THE CAMERA ADDS 437 00:14:43,015 --> 00:14:45,684 10 POUNDS. 438 00:14:45,751 --> 00:14:49,121 AND ABOUT 40 YEARS. 439 00:14:49,188 --> 00:14:49,755 I'M SO PROUD OF AMERICONE DREAM. 440 00:14:49,822 --> 00:14:50,956 NOT ONLY DOES IT TASTE GOOD. 441 00:14:51,023 --> 00:14:51,590 IT DOES GOOD. 442 00:14:51,657 --> 00:14:57,596 BECAUSE ALL OF MY PROCEEDS 443 00:14:57,663 --> 00:14:58,664 GENERATED BY THE SALES OF THIS 444 00:14:58,731 --> 00:14:59,298 ICE CREAM ARE DONATED TO 445 00:14:59,365 --> 00:15:00,165 HUNDREDS OF GREAT CHARITIES 446 00:15:00,232 --> 00:15:01,166 CHOSEN EACH YEAR BY MY STAFF 447 00:15:01,233 --> 00:15:02,101 HERE AT THE SHOW. 448 00:15:02,167 --> 00:15:02,935 AND I WAS SO HAPPY TO RECENTLY 449 00:15:03,002 --> 00:15:03,602 LEARN THAT OVER THE LAST 15 450 00:15:03,669 --> 00:15:06,939 YEARS, WE HAVE GIVEN AWAY 451 00:15:07,006 --> 00:15:10,109 $4,258,500. 452 00:15:10,175 --> 00:15:10,643 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ). 453 00:15:10,709 --> 00:15:12,044 >> Stephen: BOOM. 454 00:15:12,111 --> 00:15:14,113 ISN'T THAT LOVELY? 455 00:15:14,179 --> 00:15:16,682 ISN'T THAT LOVELY? 456 00:15:16,749 --> 00:15:20,919 THAT-- THAT IS A LOTA DOUGH, 457 00:15:20,986 --> 00:15:23,255 WHICH IS NOT AN INGREDIENT IN MY 458 00:15:23,322 --> 00:15:26,925 ICE CREAM. 459 00:15:26,992 --> 00:15:27,626 YOU'RE THINKING OF JIMMY 460 00:15:27,693 --> 00:15:28,327 FALLON'S "THE TONIGHT DOUGH," 461 00:15:28,394 --> 00:15:30,562 WHICH HAS COOKIE DOUGH, AND I 462 00:15:30,629 --> 00:15:31,163 THINK GROUND-UP PEACOCK. 463 00:15:31,230 --> 00:15:33,499 IT'S GOT BEAKS AND STUFF. 464 00:15:33,565 --> 00:15:34,166 SO THANK YOU TO EVERYONE OUT 465 00:15:34,233 --> 00:15:34,933 THERE FOR SUPPORTING AMERICONE 466 00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:36,669 DREAM. 467 00:15:36,735 --> 00:15:38,404 YOU'RE LIVING THE AMERICAN 468 00:15:38,470 --> 00:15:39,071 DREAM: HELPING OTHERS BY SITTING 469 00:15:39,138 --> 00:15:42,975 AT HOME AND EATING ICE CREAM. 470 00:15:43,042 --> 00:15:45,644 NOW, PERSONALLY-- 471 00:15:45,711 --> 00:15:46,979 ( APPLAUSE ) 472 00:15:47,046 --> 00:15:50,582 DREAM HAS HELPED ME GET THROUGH 473 00:15:50,649 --> 00:15:53,152 A LOT IN THE LAST 15 YEARS. 474 00:15:53,218 --> 00:15:54,953 AND WHILE I'D LOVE TO KEEP 475 00:15:55,020 --> 00:15:55,954 SITTING HERE AND SINGING IT'S 476 00:15:56,021 --> 00:15:56,655 PRAISES, I FIGURED WHY NOT GET 477 00:15:56,722 --> 00:15:57,656 SOMEONE WHO'S BETTER AT SINGING 478 00:15:57,723 --> 00:15:58,857 TO DO THAT? 479 00:15:58,924 --> 00:15:59,558 SO I ASKED A COUPLE OF MY 480 00:15:59,625 --> 00:16:02,928 SWEETEST FRIENDS TO HELP ME OUT. 481 00:16:02,995 --> 00:16:17,876 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) 482 00:16:17,943 --> 00:19:36,575 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) 483 00:19:36,642 --> 00:19:38,977 GROBAN, SARA BAREILLES, BEN, 484 00:19:39,044 --> 00:19:40,012 JERRY-- ALL OF YOU-- FOR EATING 485 00:19:40,078 --> 00:19:42,047 MY ICE CREAM, AND MY ENTIRE 486 00:19:42,114 --> 00:19:43,382 STAFF FOR HELPING GIVE ALL THAT 487 00:19:43,448 --> 00:19:46,184 MONEY AWAY. 488 00:19:46,251 --> 00:19:46,919 LET'S KEEP AMERICONE DREAMIN' 489 00:19:46,985 --> 00:19:48,253 FOR ANOTHER 15 YEARS. 490 00:19:48,320 --> 00:19:50,255 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH ANDY 491 00:19:50,322 --> 00:19:51,657 SERKIS. 492 00:20:02,034 --> 00:20:14,346 ♪ ♪ ♪ 493 00:20:14,413 --> 00:20:16,281 RIGHT HERE? 494 00:20:16,348 --> 00:20:17,215 THIS ONE? 495 00:20:17,282 --> 00:20:17,749 THIS ONE? 496 00:20:17,816 --> 00:20:18,383 THAT ONE? 497 00:20:18,450 --> 00:20:23,655 THEE WE GO. 498 00:20:23,722 --> 00:20:24,489 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WELCOME 499 00:20:24,556 --> 00:20:29,695 BACK. 500 00:20:29,761 --> 00:20:30,395 FOLKS, MY FIRST GUEST IS AN 501 00:20:30,462 --> 00:20:33,699 ACTOR AND DIRECTOR YOU KNOW FROM 502 00:20:33,765 --> 00:20:34,600 "THE PLANET OF THE APES" FILMS, 503 00:20:34,666 --> 00:20:35,500 "BLACK PANTHER," AND, MY 504 00:20:35,567 --> 00:20:36,168 PERSONAL FAVORITE, AS GOLLUM 505 00:20:36,234 --> 00:20:36,835 FROM "THE LORD OF THE RINGS." 506 00:20:36,902 --> 00:20:38,570 HE NOW STARS IN "THE BATMAN." 507 00:20:38,637 --> 00:20:42,374 >> OUR ACCOUNTING FRIEND AT 508 00:20:42,441 --> 00:20:45,677 WAYNE ENTERPRISES ARE COMING FOR 509 00:20:45,744 --> 00:20:46,078 BREAKFAST. 510 00:20:46,144 --> 00:20:46,812 >> HERE, WHY. 511 00:20:46,878 --> 00:20:48,347 >> BECAUSE I COULDN'T GET YOU TO 512 00:20:48,413 --> 00:20:49,214 GO THERE. 513 00:20:49,281 --> 00:20:52,351 >> THIS IS SERIOUS, BRUCE. 514 00:20:52,417 --> 00:20:54,586 IF THIS CONTINUES IT WON'T BE 515 00:20:54,653 --> 00:20:56,288 LONG BEFORE YOU HAVE NOTHING 516 00:20:56,355 --> 00:20:56,922 LEFT. 517 00:20:56,989 --> 00:20:57,556 >> I DON'T CARE ABOUT THAT. 518 00:20:57,623 --> 00:20:59,291 >> YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR 519 00:20:59,358 --> 00:20:59,992 FAMILY'S LEGACY? 520 00:21:00,058 --> 00:21:01,693 >> WHAT I'M DOING IS MY FAMILY'S 521 00:21:01,760 --> 00:21:02,527 LEGACY. 522 00:21:02,594 --> 00:21:03,862 IF I CAN'T CHANGE THINGS HERE, 523 00:21:03,929 --> 00:21:07,666 IF I CAN'T HAVE AN EFFECT, I 524 00:21:07,733 --> 00:21:09,001 DON'T CARE WHAT HAPPENS TO ME. 525 00:21:09,067 --> 00:21:13,538 ME. 526 00:21:13,605 --> 00:21:14,072 STOP. 527 00:21:14,139 --> 00:21:17,009 YOU'RE NOT MY FATHER. 528 00:21:17,075 --> 00:21:20,078 >> I'M WELL AWARE. 529 00:21:20,145 --> 00:21:21,680 >> Stephen: PLEASE WELCOME BACK 530 00:21:21,747 --> 00:21:23,582 TO "THE LATE SHOW," ANDY SERKIS. 531 00:21:23,649 --> 00:21:24,383 ♪ ♪ ♪ 532 00:21:24,449 --> 00:21:33,692 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) 533 00:21:33,759 --> 00:21:48,173 >> Stephen: VERY FEW OF MY 534 00:21:48,240 --> 00:21:49,508 GUESTS JIG THEIR WAY OUT HERE. 535 00:21:49,574 --> 00:21:50,409 THANK YOU SO MUCH. 536 00:21:50,475 --> 00:21:51,777 I APPRECIATE THE EXTRA EFFORT. 537 00:21:51,843 --> 00:21:53,345 >> I'M A LITTLE EXHAUSTED NOW, I 538 00:21:53,412 --> 00:21:54,012 HAVE TO SAY. 539 00:21:54,079 --> 00:21:57,115 >> Stephen: TAKE IT EASY. 540 00:21:57,182 --> 00:21:57,683 I'LL TAKE FROM HERE. 541 00:21:57,749 --> 00:21:59,317 I'LL ASK THE QUESTIONS. 542 00:21:59,384 --> 00:22:01,620 YOU JUST GIVE THE ANSWERS. 543 00:22:01,687 --> 00:22:04,356 I JUST SAW THE NEW "THE BATMAN." 544 00:22:04,423 --> 00:22:07,159 I LOVED YOUR ALFRED PENNYWORTH. 545 00:22:07,225 --> 00:22:09,361 HOW WAS YOUR ALFRED A LITTLE 546 00:22:09,428 --> 00:22:12,397 DIFFERENT THAN PREVIOUS 547 00:22:12,464 --> 00:22:13,165 ALFRED-BATMAN RELATIONSHIPS 548 00:22:13,231 --> 00:22:13,999 WE'VE SEEN BEFORE. 549 00:22:14,066 --> 00:22:15,300 >> MATT REEVES, WHO WROTE AND 550 00:22:15,367 --> 00:22:17,669 DIRECTED IT, WANTED TO CREATE AN 551 00:22:17,736 --> 00:22:19,438 EMOTIONAL RELATIONSHIP, A VERY 552 00:22:19,504 --> 00:22:20,539 DEEPLY EMOTIONAL ONE, WHICH IS 553 00:22:20,605 --> 00:22:23,275 SORT OF-- THEY'RE NOT KIND OF ON 554 00:22:23,341 --> 00:22:25,143 SONG, AS THEY NORMALLY ARE. 555 00:22:25,210 --> 00:22:27,145 ALFRED AND BATMAN GOING OUT AND 556 00:22:27,212 --> 00:22:28,914 FACING THE FAUX TOGETHER. 557 00:22:28,980 --> 00:22:30,382 WE WANTED TO CREATE TENSION IN 558 00:22:30,449 --> 00:22:31,349 THE RELATIONSHIP. 559 00:22:31,416 --> 00:22:34,052 IT'S BASICALLY HOW WE MEET 560 00:22:34,119 --> 00:22:35,053 BATMAN, WHICH IS ROBERT 561 00:22:35,120 --> 00:22:36,188 PATTINSON'S BRUCE WAYNE IS VERY 562 00:22:36,254 --> 00:22:38,356 VULNERABLE, AND HE'S ON A BIT OF 563 00:22:38,423 --> 00:22:39,725 A SELF-DESTRUCTIVE MISSION, AND 564 00:22:39,791 --> 00:22:41,426 HE'S PUSHING AT ALFRED, AS YOU 565 00:22:41,493 --> 00:22:42,394 SAW FROM THE CLIP. 566 00:22:42,461 --> 00:22:44,663 HE'S SORT OF PUSHING HIM AWAY. 567 00:22:44,730 --> 00:22:46,331 AND ALFRED JUST FEELS LIKE HE 568 00:22:46,398 --> 00:22:48,400 CAN'T-- HE CAN'T CONNECT WITH 569 00:22:48,467 --> 00:22:49,067 HIM. 570 00:22:49,134 --> 00:22:49,735 HEALEY NEVER FILL THE VOID OF 571 00:22:49,801 --> 00:22:52,738 BEING A FATHER FIGURE FOR HIM. 572 00:22:52,804 --> 00:22:55,140 SO IT'S KIND OF REALLY-- IT'S 573 00:22:55,207 --> 00:22:56,875 SHIFTING SANDS, THEIR 574 00:22:56,942 --> 00:22:57,476 RELATIONSHIP. 575 00:22:57,542 --> 00:22:58,643 >> Stephen: WITHOUT GIVING 576 00:22:58,710 --> 00:23:00,178 ANYTHING AWAY, THIS ISN'T REALLY 577 00:23:00,245 --> 00:23:02,147 AN ORIGIN STORY. 578 00:23:02,214 --> 00:23:04,516 YOU'RE-- HE'S ALREADY BATMAN AND 579 00:23:04,583 --> 00:23:06,318 YOU'RE ALREADY WORRIED THAT HE'S 580 00:23:06,384 --> 00:23:06,952 THROUGHOUT BEING BATMAN. 581 00:23:07,018 --> 00:23:07,586 >> ABSOLUTELY. 582 00:23:07,652 --> 00:23:08,687 HE'S CAUSING HIMSELF-- HE'S 583 00:23:08,754 --> 00:23:10,655 GOING OUT EVERY NIGHT AND TRYING 584 00:23:10,722 --> 00:23:12,390 TO BE A VIGILANTE, BUT YOU CAN 585 00:23:12,457 --> 00:23:14,426 SEE THE SELF-DESTRUCT BUTTON 586 00:23:14,493 --> 00:23:16,795 ANYTHING, AND HE SEES THE PAIN. 587 00:23:16,862 --> 00:23:17,629 >> Stephen: THERE'S SO MUCH 588 00:23:17,696 --> 00:23:18,296 ANTICIPATION FOR THIS MOVIE 589 00:23:18,363 --> 00:23:19,831 RIGHT NOW, THAT IT'S ACTUALLY 590 00:23:19,898 --> 00:23:21,466 BEING USED AS A CUDGEL AGAINST 591 00:23:21,533 --> 00:23:23,702 THE RUSSIANS BY NOT PLAYING IT 592 00:23:23,769 --> 00:23:24,402 THERE. 593 00:23:24,469 --> 00:23:25,070 IT'S ONE OF THE SANCTIONS BEING 594 00:23:25,137 --> 00:23:26,471 LEVELED AGAINST RUSSIA IS THEY 595 00:23:26,538 --> 00:23:27,906 DON'T GET THIS MOVIE. 596 00:23:27,973 --> 00:23:28,507 >> THAT'S RIGHT. 597 00:23:28,573 --> 00:23:29,841 >> Stephen: VERY POWERFUL. 598 00:23:29,908 --> 00:23:31,009 YOU'RE IN A VERY POWERFUL 599 00:23:31,076 --> 00:23:31,610 POSITION RIGHT NOW. 600 00:23:31,676 --> 00:23:33,278 >> THE MOVIE IS A POWERFUL 601 00:23:33,345 --> 00:23:33,845 THING. 602 00:23:33,912 --> 00:23:34,880 >> Stephen: IT IS A VERY 603 00:23:34,946 --> 00:23:35,781 POWERFUL THING. 604 00:23:35,847 --> 00:23:40,185 YOU WERE IN "BLACK PANTHER," 605 00:23:40,252 --> 00:23:42,387 VENOM, LET THERE BE CARNAGE, YOU 606 00:23:42,454 --> 00:23:43,622 DIRECTED. 607 00:23:43,688 --> 00:23:45,090 NOW YOU'RE IN THE "THE BATMAN," 608 00:23:45,157 --> 00:23:47,225 SO LEGALLY I HAVE TO ASK YOU ARE 609 00:23:47,292 --> 00:23:49,494 YOU A MARVEL GUY OR A D.C. GUY? 610 00:23:49,561 --> 00:23:51,062 AND BE VERY CAREFUL HOW YOU 611 00:23:51,129 --> 00:23:51,730 ANSWER THIS QUESTION. 612 00:23:51,797 --> 00:23:53,231 >> I WAS JUST THINKING WHO IS 613 00:23:53,298 --> 00:23:54,332 GOING TO EMPLOY ME THE MOST 614 00:23:54,399 --> 00:23:56,334 AFTER THIS MOMENT? 615 00:23:56,401 --> 00:23:56,902 WELL... 616 00:23:56,968 --> 00:23:58,870 NO, I LOVE BOTH WORLDS. 617 00:23:58,937 --> 00:23:59,571 ( LAUGHTER ) 618 00:23:59,638 --> 00:24:03,608 >> BECAUSE-- BECAUSE-- BECAUSE, 619 00:24:03,675 --> 00:24:05,110 LOOK, I MEAN, I LOVE THE 620 00:24:05,177 --> 00:24:07,279 BRIGHTNESS AND THE BOLDNESS OF 621 00:24:07,345 --> 00:24:07,946 MARVEL STORIES. 622 00:24:08,013 --> 00:24:09,981 THEY'RE ALL MYTHOLOGIST, AND I 623 00:24:10,048 --> 00:24:10,615 LIKE D.C. -- 624 00:24:10,682 --> 00:24:12,384 >> Stephen: THEY'RE KIND OF 625 00:24:12,450 --> 00:24:14,553 FAIRY STORIES THEMSELVES, LIKE 626 00:24:14,619 --> 00:24:15,487 TOLKIEN IS. 627 00:24:15,554 --> 00:24:16,721 LIKE A MODERN FAIRY STORY. 628 00:24:16,788 --> 00:24:18,690 >> FOR OUR GENERATION, WHICH IS 629 00:24:18,757 --> 00:24:19,858 WHY THEY'RE SO IMPORTANT-- YOU 630 00:24:19,925 --> 00:24:22,527 KNOW, THEY TOUCH ON REAL HUMAN 631 00:24:22,594 --> 00:24:24,062 EMOTIONS, ON WORLD, YOU KNOW, 632 00:24:24,129 --> 00:24:26,965 EVENTS ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND 633 00:24:27,032 --> 00:24:27,632 US. 634 00:24:27,699 --> 00:24:29,000 THEY ARE GREAT ALLEGORIES FOR 635 00:24:29,067 --> 00:24:29,601 OUR TIMES. 636 00:24:29,668 --> 00:24:30,902 >> Stephen: WELL, WE HUMAN 637 00:24:30,969 --> 00:24:33,371 BEINGS LEARN THROUGH 638 00:24:33,438 --> 00:24:33,738 STORYTELLING. 639 00:24:33,805 --> 00:24:34,339 >> CORRECT. 640 00:24:34,406 --> 00:24:35,207 >> Stephen: AND THIS IS A 641 00:24:35,273 --> 00:24:36,942 COMMON STORY FOR US TO SHARE AND 642 00:24:37,008 --> 00:24:38,443 BUILDS A SENSE OF COMMUNITIES. 643 00:24:38,510 --> 00:24:40,078 ONE OF THE GREAT COMMUNITIES YOU 644 00:24:40,145 --> 00:24:41,213 HAVE BEEN PART OF OF COURSE IS 645 00:24:41,279 --> 00:24:43,782 "LORD OF THE RINGS," WHICH JUST 646 00:24:43,849 --> 00:24:45,083 CELEBRATED 20 YEARS SINCE IT WAS 647 00:24:45,150 --> 00:24:45,617 FIRST RELEASED. 648 00:24:45,684 --> 00:24:46,885 AND I CAN'T BELIEVE-- 649 00:24:46,952 --> 00:24:48,320 ( APPLAUSE ) 650 00:24:48,386 --> 00:24:52,657 HERE SOME WAY. 651 00:24:52,724 --> 00:24:55,393 AND BILLY BOYD AND DON MONAHAN 652 00:24:55,460 --> 00:24:56,494 CALLED AND SAID WE WANT TO DO 653 00:24:56,561 --> 00:24:57,195 SOMETHING WITH YOU. 654 00:24:57,262 --> 00:24:59,397 WE CAME UP WITH THIS RAP SONG TO 655 00:24:59,464 --> 00:24:59,965 CELEBRATE IT. 656 00:25:00,031 --> 00:25:01,266 AND YOU WERE PART OF IT. 657 00:25:01,333 --> 00:25:02,100 WE HAVE A LITTLE CLIP. 658 00:25:02,167 --> 00:25:03,201 >> IT WAS INCREDIBLE. 659 00:25:03,268 --> 00:25:05,437 DID YOU SUCH A GREAT JOB 660 00:25:05,503 --> 00:25:07,205 ♪ LORD OF THE RINGS IS THE 661 00:25:07,272 --> 00:25:08,740 NUMBER ONE CHILI 662 00:25:08,807 --> 00:25:11,643 ♪ ASK ANYBODY AND THEY KNOW THE 663 00:25:11,710 --> 00:25:12,377 DILLY 664 00:25:12,444 --> 00:25:15,180 ♪ ASK ALL THE FISHES THE SEAWEED 665 00:25:15,247 --> 00:25:19,684 >> Stephen: SO THERE YOU ARE, 666 00:25:19,751 --> 00:25:23,255 THE FISHES, THE SEAWEED, THE 667 00:25:23,321 --> 00:25:24,256 CRILI, THE OFFICIAL CELEBRATION 668 00:25:24,322 --> 00:25:24,923 RIGHT THERE. 669 00:25:24,990 --> 00:25:26,558 WHEN YOU SENT THAT SHOT IN OF 670 00:25:26,625 --> 00:25:28,159 YOU LOOKING THROUGH THAT WATER 671 00:25:28,226 --> 00:25:29,261 SURFACE, I THOUGHT THAT'S GREAT. 672 00:25:29,327 --> 00:25:31,229 WHAT EFFECT DID WE PUT ON THAT? 673 00:25:31,296 --> 00:25:32,097 THEY SAID NOTHING. 674 00:25:32,163 --> 00:25:32,764 THAT'S WHAT HE SENT. 675 00:25:32,831 --> 00:25:34,399 SO A DIRECTOR TO THE END, WHAT 676 00:25:34,466 --> 00:25:37,502 WERE YOU SHOOT THIS THROUGH, A 677 00:25:37,569 --> 00:25:38,169 FISH TANK? 678 00:25:38,236 --> 00:25:39,838 >> I FOUND A NICE BIG BOWL AT 679 00:25:39,905 --> 00:25:41,106 HOME AND FILLED IT UP WITH WATER 680 00:25:41,172 --> 00:25:42,240 AND THOUGHT WE HAVE TO MAKE 681 00:25:42,307 --> 00:25:43,141 SOMETHING OUT OF THIS. 682 00:25:43,208 --> 00:25:44,175 IT'S A LITTLE SNATCH. 683 00:25:44,242 --> 00:25:47,545 I GOT MY iPHONE, STUCK IT 684 00:25:47,612 --> 00:25:49,414 UNDERNEATH A BOWL OF WATER AND 685 00:25:49,481 --> 00:25:52,584 JIGGLED IT AROUND A LITTLE BIT. 686 00:25:52,651 --> 00:25:53,852 >> Stephen: ART ON A DIME WITH 687 00:25:53,919 --> 00:25:54,519 ANDY SERKIS. 688 00:25:54,586 --> 00:25:55,587 WE HAVE TO TAKE A QUICK BREAK. 689 00:25:55,654 --> 00:25:57,555 WHEN WE COME BACK, AN DEAL SHOW 690 00:25:57,622 --> 00:25:59,190 US HOW HE DID ALL THE CHARACTERS 691 00:25:59,257 --> 00:26:01,159 IN HIS AUDIO BOOK OF "LORD OF 692 00:26:01,226 --> 00:26:01,693 THE RINGS." 693 00:26:01,760 --> 00:26:03,094 STICK AROUND. 694 00:26:14,139 --> 00:26:15,407 ( APPLAUSE ) 695 00:26:15,473 --> 00:26:18,410 WE'RE P BACK HERE WITH ANDY 696 00:26:18,476 --> 00:26:20,946 SERKIS, FROM THE NEW MOVIE "THE 697 00:26:21,012 --> 00:26:24,115 BATMAN." 698 00:26:24,182 --> 00:26:27,519 IN MAY OF 2020, LIKE-- LIKE MANY 699 00:26:27,585 --> 00:26:31,589 PEOPLE AT THE BEGINNING OF THE 700 00:26:31,656 --> 00:26:32,624 COVID PANDEMIC, PEOPLE DIDN'T 701 00:26:32,691 --> 00:26:33,224 KNOW WHAT TO DO. 702 00:26:33,291 --> 00:26:34,459 THEY WANTED TO CREATE ART. 703 00:26:34,526 --> 00:26:37,829 THEY WANTED TO O THINGS TO HELP 704 00:26:37,896 --> 00:26:38,897 FUND RAISE FOR CHARITIES. 705 00:26:38,964 --> 00:26:41,666 YOU DID THIS EXTRAORDINARY 706 00:26:41,733 --> 00:26:44,069 THING, WHICH IN MAY 2020, YOU 707 00:26:44,135 --> 00:26:45,737 READ "THE HOBBIT" IN ONE SITTING 708 00:26:45,804 --> 00:26:48,840 ON A LIVE STREAM FOR CHARITY. 709 00:26:48,907 --> 00:26:50,475 HOW-- I HEARD CLIPS OF IT. 710 00:26:50,542 --> 00:26:52,444 HW LONG DID THAT TAKE YOU TO 711 00:26:52,510 --> 00:26:53,144 DO? 712 00:26:53,211 --> 00:26:55,947 >> ALL TOGETHER IT WAS ABOUT 11 713 00:26:56,014 --> 00:26:58,249 FOURS AND FOUR, FIVE MINUTES 714 00:26:58,316 --> 00:26:58,616 ( APPLAUSE ). 715 00:26:58,683 --> 00:27:01,219 YOU STOP? 716 00:27:01,286 --> 00:27:04,456 >> WELL, I-- I LITERALLY-- I 717 00:27:04,522 --> 00:27:06,591 LITERALLY HAD FOUR TWO-MINUTE 718 00:27:06,658 --> 00:27:07,192 BREAKS THROUGHOUT -- 719 00:27:07,258 --> 00:27:08,760 >> Stephen: FOR 11 HOURS. 720 00:27:08,827 --> 00:27:09,694 >> YEAH, YEAH. 721 00:27:09,761 --> 00:27:12,030 I WANT IT TO FEEL LIKE-- YOU 722 00:27:12,097 --> 00:27:12,998 KNOW, THE WHOLE IDEA BEHIND IT 723 00:27:13,064 --> 00:27:15,133 WAS TO TAKE EVERYBODY-- LIKE YOU 724 00:27:15,200 --> 00:27:16,434 SAY, EVERYONE WAS TRAPPED 725 00:27:16,501 --> 00:27:18,203 INDOORS AND NOBODY COULD GO 726 00:27:18,269 --> 00:27:18,870 ANYWHERE, AND WHAT BETTER THAN 727 00:27:18,937 --> 00:27:21,673 TO GO ON A QUEST A JOURNEY 728 00:27:21,740 --> 00:27:22,307 INSIDE YOUR MIND. 729 00:27:22,374 --> 00:27:24,075 AND I THOUGHT IF I COULD AT 730 00:27:24,142 --> 00:27:25,910 LEAST TAKE KIDS OFF PARENTS'-- 731 00:27:25,977 --> 00:27:27,812 YOU KNOW, WHO MUST HAVE BEEN 732 00:27:27,879 --> 00:27:29,681 GOING CRAZY AT THIS POINT-- SIT 733 00:27:29,748 --> 00:27:31,783 THEM DOWN. 734 00:27:31,850 --> 00:27:33,051 MY WHOLE THINKING WAS IF THEY 735 00:27:33,118 --> 00:27:35,120 COULD SIT THEIR KIDS SIT DOWN 736 00:27:35,186 --> 00:27:37,455 AND LISTEN FOR 11 HOURS IT WOULD 737 00:27:37,522 --> 00:27:38,656 LET THEM DO SOMETHING ELSE. 738 00:27:38,723 --> 00:27:39,357 >> Stephen: PEOPLE LOVED THIS 739 00:27:39,424 --> 00:27:40,458 SO MUCH-- AND I THINK THIS IS A 740 00:27:40,525 --> 00:27:43,628 GREAT IDEAUE HAVE NOW DONE-- 741 00:27:43,695 --> 00:27:45,463 RECORDED THE FULL AUDIO BOOKS OF 742 00:27:45,530 --> 00:27:47,465 "THE HOBBIT" AND THE "LORD OF 743 00:27:47,532 --> 00:27:50,035 THE RINGS" TRILOGY FOR AUDIBLE. 744 00:27:50,101 --> 00:27:51,269 WHAT WAS IT LIKE FOR YOU TO 745 00:27:51,336 --> 00:27:53,038 RETURN TO MIDDLE EARTH FOR THAT 746 00:27:53,104 --> 00:27:53,705 ENTIRE THING? 747 00:27:53,772 --> 00:27:56,474 >> I HAVE TO SAY, I'VE PLAYED 748 00:27:56,541 --> 00:27:58,443 SOME PRETTY PHYSICAL PARTS IN MY 749 00:27:58,510 --> 00:28:00,211 TIME, BUT SITTING IN FRONT OF A 750 00:28:00,278 --> 00:28:02,213 MICROPHONE FOR SIX WEEKS TO 751 00:28:02,280 --> 00:28:03,348 RECORD "LORD OF THE RINGS" IN 752 00:28:03,415 --> 00:28:05,383 ITS ENTIRETY I THINK WAS ONE OF 753 00:28:05,450 --> 00:28:07,752 THE MOST DRAINING AND MENTALLY 754 00:28:07,819 --> 00:28:08,420 EXHAUSTING. 755 00:28:08,486 --> 00:28:09,687 AUDIO BOOKS, THEY'RE NOT EASY 756 00:28:09,754 --> 00:28:10,288 THINGS. 757 00:28:10,355 --> 00:28:11,689 I'M A PHYSICAL ACTOR, BUT, 758 00:28:11,756 --> 00:28:13,024 ACTUALLY, IT'S A KIND OF-- IT'S 759 00:28:13,091 --> 00:28:14,559 A TEST ALL ON ITS OWN. 760 00:28:14,626 --> 00:28:16,494 AND THE LEVELS THAT YOU-- THE 761 00:28:16,561 --> 00:28:17,695 EMOTIONAL JOURNEY. 762 00:28:17,762 --> 00:28:19,931 AND, ALSO, I WAS SORT OF 763 00:28:19,998 --> 00:28:21,332 CHANNELING MY FRIENDS WHO HAD 764 00:28:21,399 --> 00:28:23,234 ACTED WITH IT, YOU KNOW, FOR 765 00:28:23,301 --> 00:28:25,703 SOME OF IT, AND MAKING UP NEW 766 00:28:25,770 --> 00:28:26,771 VOICES AS WELL. 767 00:28:26,838 --> 00:28:27,906 >> Stephen: HOW DID YOU 768 00:28:27,972 --> 00:28:28,573 DIFFERENTIATE THE VOICES? 769 00:28:28,640 --> 00:28:30,208 I HAVE A PROP BACK HERE THAT I 770 00:28:30,275 --> 00:28:31,609 WAS TOLD TO GIVE YOU, BUT I 771 00:28:31,676 --> 00:28:32,944 DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GOING TO 772 00:28:33,011 --> 00:28:33,578 DO WITH THIS. 773 00:28:33,645 --> 00:28:35,980 HOW WOULD YOU DIFFERENTIATE 774 00:28:36,047 --> 00:28:37,682 BETWEEN THE VOICES, KEEPING THEM 775 00:28:37,749 --> 00:28:38,349 CLEAR. 776 00:28:38,416 --> 00:28:39,050 THERE ARE HOW MANY CHARACTERS? 777 00:28:39,117 --> 00:28:41,686 >> I THINK ALL IN ALL, THERE ARE 778 00:28:41,753 --> 00:28:43,721 132 CHARACTERS. 779 00:28:43,788 --> 00:28:45,657 SO-- OF COURSE SOME OF THEM ONLY 780 00:28:45,723 --> 00:28:46,925 APPEAR ONCE AND THEY'RE SORT 781 00:28:46,991 --> 00:28:48,326 OF-- YOU KNOW, YOU'RE SORT OF 782 00:28:48,393 --> 00:28:50,395 WINGING IT IN A WAY AND KIND OF 783 00:28:50,462 --> 00:28:51,029 IMPROVISING STUFF. 784 00:28:51,096 --> 00:28:52,297 OTHER CHARACTERS, OBVIOUSLY, 785 00:28:52,363 --> 00:28:52,931 RETURN. 786 00:28:52,997 --> 00:28:53,698 AND THE ONLY WAY THEY COULD 787 00:28:53,765 --> 00:28:55,467 REALLY, REALLY REMEMBER 788 00:28:55,533 --> 00:28:58,937 EVERYBODY WAS BY A PHYSICAL KIND 789 00:28:59,003 --> 00:29:00,371 OF APPROXIMATION TO WHERE THE 790 00:29:00,438 --> 00:29:01,673 MICROPHONE WAS. 791 00:29:01,739 --> 00:29:03,341 FOR INSTANCE, GANDALF WOULD 792 00:29:03,408 --> 00:29:06,277 ALWAYS BE UP HERE, AND-- I WAS 793 00:29:06,344 --> 00:29:08,012 TRYING TO MAKE IT A BIT MORE 794 00:29:08,079 --> 00:29:08,780 ORIGINAL. 795 00:29:08,847 --> 00:29:12,417 I WASN'T FULL ON-- FULL ON "YOU 796 00:29:12,484 --> 00:29:13,918 SHALL NOT PART." 797 00:29:13,985 --> 00:29:16,321 AND THEN ELRON, WHO IS MORE KIND 798 00:29:16,387 --> 00:29:18,323 OF-- HE WAS MORE HERE, AND I 799 00:29:18,389 --> 00:29:19,791 ALWAYS DID THIS WITH MY RIGHT 800 00:29:19,858 --> 00:29:21,493 HAND AND GAVE HIM A LITTLE 801 00:29:21,559 --> 00:29:23,294 BIT... AND EVERY TIME I MOVED MY 802 00:29:23,361 --> 00:29:25,697 HAND LIKE THAT, IT WOULD GET ME 803 00:29:25,763 --> 00:29:28,933 BACK INTO CHARACTER. 804 00:29:29,000 --> 00:29:31,803 AND HE WAS LIKE THIS, BECAUSE HE 805 00:29:31,870 --> 00:29:33,671 WAS REALLY PISSED OFF THAT HE 806 00:29:33,738 --> 00:29:35,840 COULDN'T QUITE REACH THE 807 00:29:35,907 --> 00:29:36,274 MICROPHONE. 808 00:29:36,341 --> 00:29:37,675 AND OF COURSE-- 809 00:29:37,742 --> 00:29:45,250 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) 810 00:29:45,316 --> 00:29:50,221 OF REALLY-- WELL, GOLLUM WAS ON 811 00:29:50,288 --> 00:29:52,824 THE SIDE AND SMEIGLE WAS ON THIS 812 00:29:52,891 --> 00:29:53,525 SIDE. 813 00:29:53,591 --> 00:30:01,666 AND HE WOULD SAY THINGS LIKE... 814 00:30:01,733 --> 00:30:03,635 THEY'RE GOING TO IMPOSE 815 00:30:03,701 --> 00:30:04,435 SANCTIONS. 816 00:30:04,502 --> 00:30:05,170 SANCTIONS? 817 00:30:05,236 --> 00:30:07,705 SANCTIONS, MY PRECIOUS. 818 00:30:07,772 --> 00:30:09,207 IF THEY DO ANYTHING, WE'RE GOING 819 00:30:09,274 --> 00:30:13,678 TO GIVE THEM ( BLEEP ) BACK. 820 00:30:13,745 --> 00:30:21,686 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) 821 00:30:21,753 --> 00:30:25,857 THEATERS FRIDAY IN "THE BATMAN." 822 00:30:25,924 --> 00:30:28,326 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH RUSSIA 823 00:30:28,393 --> 00:30:29,294 EXPERT FIONA HILL. 824 00:30:29,360 --> 00:30:29,727 ANDY SERKIS. 825 00:30:29,794 --> 00:30:30,061 THANK YOU, SIR. 826 00:30:30,128 --> 00:30:30,795 ♪ ♪ ♪ 827 00:30:30,862 --> 00:30:32,197 ( APPLAUSE ) 828 00:30:38,736 --> 00:30:40,138 ♪ ♪ ♪ 829 00:30:40,205 --> 00:30:43,241 ( APPLAUSE ) 830 00:30:43,308 --> 00:30:46,344 WELCOME BACK TO "THE LATE SHOW." 831 00:30:46,411 --> 00:30:49,614 MY NEXT GUEST IS A SENIOR FELLOW 832 00:30:49,681 --> 00:30:51,282 AT THE BROOKINGS INSTITUTION WHO 833 00:30:51,349 --> 00:30:51,916 HAS ADVISED THREE PRESIDENTS ON 834 00:30:51,983 --> 00:30:54,052 RUSSIAN AND EUROPEAN POLICY. 835 00:30:54,118 --> 00:30:55,253 HER NEW BOOK IS, "THERE IS 836 00:30:55,320 --> 00:30:59,257 NOTHING FOR YOU HERE." 837 00:30:59,324 --> 00:30:59,824 PLEASE WELCOME FIONA HILL! 838 00:30:59,891 --> 00:31:00,225 ♪ ♪ ♪ 839 00:31:00,291 --> 00:31:15,173 ( APPLAUSE ) 840 00:31:15,240 --> 00:31:18,509 ( APPLAUSE ) 841 00:31:18,576 --> 00:31:19,410 >> Stephen: THANKS FOR BEING 842 00:31:19,477 --> 00:31:20,111 HERE. 843 00:31:20,178 --> 00:31:23,748 AS I SAID, THE BOOK IS "THERE IS 844 00:31:23,815 --> 00:31:25,783 NOTHING FOR YOU HERE." 845 00:31:25,850 --> 00:31:27,785 U.S. INTELLIGENCE OFFICER IN THE 846 00:31:27,852 --> 00:31:32,023 BUSH AND OBAMA ADMINISTRATIONS, 847 00:31:32,090 --> 00:31:35,560 NATIONAL SECURITY COUNCIL,. 848 00:31:35,627 --> 00:31:36,761 THOUGH MOST PEOPLE HERE MIGHT 849 00:31:36,828 --> 00:31:39,264 RECOGNIZE YOU FIRST FROM YOUR 850 00:31:39,330 --> 00:31:43,234 TESTIMONY IN THE 2019 851 00:31:43,301 --> 00:31:43,868 IMPEACHMENT HEARINGS. 852 00:31:43,935 --> 00:31:44,435 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ). 853 00:31:44,502 --> 00:31:47,605 THE FIRST ONE, THE O.G., 854 00:31:47,672 --> 00:31:49,440 IMPEACHMENT CLASSIC. 855 00:31:49,507 --> 00:31:50,975 YOU'RE A FORMER INTELLIGENCE 856 00:31:51,042 --> 00:31:51,676 OFFICER. 857 00:31:51,743 --> 00:31:53,177 IT'S BEEN SIX DAYS SINCE RUSSIA 858 00:31:53,244 --> 00:31:55,280 INVADED UKRAINE. 859 00:31:55,346 --> 00:31:58,216 AND THE E.U. HAS SHOWED 860 00:31:58,283 --> 00:32:01,185 UNPRECEDENTED UNIT NERESPONSETO 861 00:32:01,252 --> 00:32:01,853 THIS. 862 00:32:01,919 --> 00:32:04,489 WHAT IS MOST SURPRISING TO YOU 863 00:32:04,555 --> 00:32:06,391 ABOUT BOTH THE INVASION AND THE 864 00:32:06,457 --> 00:32:07,058 RESPONSE? 865 00:32:07,125 --> 00:32:08,760 >> WELL, FIRST OF ALL, ON THE 866 00:32:08,826 --> 00:32:10,528 INVASION, SADLY, WHAT'S BEEN 867 00:32:10,595 --> 00:32:11,329 MOST SURPRISING IS THAT IT'S 868 00:32:11,396 --> 00:32:14,165 GONE ON FOR SO LONG. 869 00:32:14,232 --> 00:32:14,799 BECAUSE -- 870 00:32:14,866 --> 00:32:15,933 >> Stephen: WE WERE TOLD IT 871 00:32:16,000 --> 00:32:17,735 WOULD BE VERY QUICK, LIGHTNING 872 00:32:17,802 --> 00:32:18,970 STRIKE, TAKE OVER THE CITIES, 873 00:32:19,037 --> 00:32:20,305 AND YOU THOUGHT IT WOULD BE THE 874 00:32:20,371 --> 00:32:20,905 SAME THING. 875 00:32:20,972 --> 00:32:22,840 >> I THINK EVERYBODY DID, 876 00:32:22,907 --> 00:32:24,809 THINKING OF THE PREPONDERANCE OF 877 00:32:24,876 --> 00:32:28,313 POWER THE RUSSIANS HAVE, 878 00:32:28,379 --> 00:32:29,213 VIS-A-VIS THE UKRAINIANS. 879 00:32:29,280 --> 00:32:30,715 WHEN THEY'RE FACING AN INVASION 880 00:32:30,782 --> 00:32:33,318 FORCE OF ALMOST 190,000 MEN WITH 881 00:32:33,384 --> 00:32:35,219 ALL OF THE STATE-OF-THE-ART 882 00:32:35,286 --> 00:32:35,987 EQUIPMENT THAT THE RUSSIANS HAVE 883 00:32:36,054 --> 00:32:37,255 GOT, WE THOUGHT THEY WOULD HAVE 884 00:32:37,322 --> 00:32:38,790 MOVED A LOT FASTER. 885 00:32:38,856 --> 00:32:40,892 SO WE THINK IN PART THE RUSSIANS 886 00:32:40,958 --> 00:32:42,126 MIGHT HAVE INITIALLY BEEN TRYING 887 00:32:42,193 --> 00:32:43,428 TO MINIMIZE CASUALTIES. 888 00:32:43,494 --> 00:32:44,295 AND IN TERMS OF WHAT YOU SAID 889 00:32:44,362 --> 00:32:46,431 ABOUT THE EUROPEAN RESPONSE WAS, 890 00:32:46,497 --> 00:32:47,832 YES, WE WERE PRETTY SURPRISED BY 891 00:32:47,899 --> 00:32:49,600 ALL OF THIS AS WELL. 892 00:32:49,667 --> 00:32:51,202 AN I'M SURE THAT PUTIN AND THE 893 00:32:51,269 --> 00:32:52,236 RUSSIANS HAVE BEEN QUITE 894 00:32:52,303 --> 00:32:53,304 SURPRISED, TOO. 895 00:32:53,371 --> 00:32:54,305 BECAUSE THERE WAS AN ASSUMPTION, 896 00:32:54,372 --> 00:32:55,606 FOR EXAMPLE, THAT A LOT OF 897 00:32:55,673 --> 00:32:56,841 BUSINESSES IN EUROPE WOULD HAVE 898 00:32:56,908 --> 00:32:58,543 BEEN VERY RELUCTANT TO PULL BACK 899 00:32:58,609 --> 00:32:59,677 FROM THEIR INVESTMENTS IN 900 00:32:59,744 --> 00:33:01,646 RUSSIA, GIVEN OIL AND GAS AND 901 00:33:01,713 --> 00:33:03,014 THE DOMINANCE OF THE RUSSIAN 902 00:33:03,081 --> 00:33:05,283 ENERGY SECTOR IN EUROPE THAT 903 00:33:05,350 --> 00:33:05,983 PEOPLE WOULD HAVE THOUGHT, "I 904 00:33:06,050 --> 00:33:08,219 DON'T WANT TO FREEZE TO DEATH." 905 00:33:08,286 --> 00:33:10,254 SO IT'S VERY SURPRISING TO SEE 906 00:33:10,321 --> 00:33:12,156 MAJOR OIL AND GAS COMPANIES, FOR 907 00:33:12,223 --> 00:33:13,558 EXAMPLE, PULLING OUT OF RUSSIA, 908 00:33:13,624 --> 00:33:16,327 ALONG WITH ALL KINDS OF OTHER 909 00:33:16,394 --> 00:33:17,028 BUSINESSES. 910 00:33:17,095 --> 00:33:17,929 SO IT'S NOT JUST THE GOVERNMENT 911 00:33:17,995 --> 00:33:18,563 RESPONSE. 912 00:33:18,629 --> 00:33:19,297 IT'S WHAT EVERYBODY ELSE HAS 913 00:33:19,364 --> 00:33:22,767 DONE ON A LEVEL OF BUSINESS, 914 00:33:22,834 --> 00:33:23,434 COMMERCE, AND ORDINARY PEOPLE. 915 00:33:23,501 --> 00:33:27,805 >> Stephen: WELL, SO FAR, THE 916 00:33:27,872 --> 00:33:29,674 GOVERNMENT SANCTIONS, RESTRICTED 917 00:33:29,741 --> 00:33:31,743 AIR SPACE, BANNED RUSSIA FROM 918 00:33:31,809 --> 00:33:32,410 SWIFT. 919 00:33:32,477 --> 00:33:35,246 THEY DON'T GET TO SEE THE NEW 920 00:33:35,313 --> 00:33:35,680 "BATMAN" MOVIE. 921 00:33:35,747 --> 00:33:36,280 >> THAT'S RIGHT. 922 00:33:36,347 --> 00:33:38,282 >> Stephen: WHAT, SHORT OF 923 00:33:38,349 --> 00:33:39,951 DIRECT MILITARY INTERVENTION, 924 00:33:40,017 --> 00:33:41,652 CAN OR SHOULD BE DONE IN YOUR 925 00:33:41,719 --> 00:33:42,353 OPINION? 926 00:33:42,420 --> 00:33:43,388 >> THERE ARE ALL KINDS OF THINGS 927 00:33:43,454 --> 00:33:44,589 WE COULD BE DOING NOW, AND I'M 928 00:33:44,655 --> 00:33:46,457 SURE A LOT OF THESE ARE UNDER 929 00:33:46,524 --> 00:33:47,158 DISCUSSION. 930 00:33:47,225 --> 00:33:47,825 IT'S VERY DIFFICULT FOR US TO DO 931 00:33:47,892 --> 00:33:49,160 SOMETHING ABOUT THE AIR SPACE 932 00:33:49,227 --> 00:33:49,861 OVER UKRAINE BECAUSE THAT WOULD 933 00:33:49,927 --> 00:33:52,663 BE SEEN AS DIRECT INTERFERENCE. 934 00:33:52,730 --> 00:33:55,166 BUT WHAT WE'VE CLOSED AIR SPACE 935 00:33:55,233 --> 00:33:56,934 TO RUSSIAN COMMERCIAL CRAFT AND 936 00:33:57,001 --> 00:33:58,136 ALSO MILITARY AIRCRAFT. 937 00:33:58,202 --> 00:33:59,771 BUT THERE ARE HUMANITARIAN 938 00:33:59,837 --> 00:34:01,506 CORRIDORS THAT WE MIGHT NEED TO 939 00:34:01,572 --> 00:34:02,740 BE ESTABLISHING THERE, BECAUSE 940 00:34:02,807 --> 00:34:03,975 WE HAVE HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF 941 00:34:04,041 --> 00:34:05,576 UKRAINIANS WHO ARE BASICALLY 942 00:34:05,643 --> 00:34:07,145 FLEEING INTO ALL THE NEIGHBORING 943 00:34:07,211 --> 00:34:07,812 COUNTRIES. 944 00:34:07,879 --> 00:34:08,513 WE'RE GOING TO NEED TO HAVE A 945 00:34:08,579 --> 00:34:11,249 LOT OF MEDICAL ASSISTANCE ON THE 946 00:34:11,315 --> 00:34:12,350 BORDERS, FOR EXAMPLE, BECAUSE I 947 00:34:12,417 --> 00:34:14,152 CAN QUITE WELL IMAGINE WE WOULD 948 00:34:14,218 --> 00:34:17,255 START TO BE HELPING WOUNDED 949 00:34:17,321 --> 00:34:18,756 UKRAINIAN SERVICEMEN, AS WELL AS 950 00:34:18,823 --> 00:34:19,424 CIVILIANS. 951 00:34:19,490 --> 00:34:20,124 AND THERE'S ANYTHING TO BE AN 952 00:34:20,191 --> 00:34:21,692 AWFUL LOT OF ASSISTANCE THAT IS 953 00:34:21,759 --> 00:34:23,594 GOING TO COME IN, NOT JUST FOR 954 00:34:23,661 --> 00:34:25,930 THE REFUGEES IN PLACES LIKE 955 00:34:25,997 --> 00:34:28,900 POLAND OR SLOVAKIA OR FURTHER 956 00:34:28,966 --> 00:34:29,634 AFIELD IN EUROPE. 957 00:34:29,700 --> 00:34:31,068 BUT YOU'RE STARTING TO SEE 958 00:34:31,135 --> 00:34:32,303 PEOPLE GO IN THERE TO FIGHT. 959 00:34:32,370 --> 00:34:35,039 IT'S NOT JUST UKRAINIANS. 960 00:34:35,106 --> 00:34:37,842 UKRAINE HAS AN ENORMOUS NUMBER 961 00:34:37,909 --> 00:34:39,844 OF HEAVYWEIGHT BOXING CHAMPIONS 962 00:34:39,911 --> 00:34:42,847 WILL OF THE WORLD, INCLUDING THE 963 00:34:42,914 --> 00:34:44,148 MAYOR OF KYIV. 964 00:34:44,215 --> 00:34:45,783 AND HIS BROTHER, THEY'VE MADE 965 00:34:45,850 --> 00:34:48,019 THIS AMAZING SET OF VIDEOS FOR 966 00:34:48,085 --> 00:34:48,886 SOCIAL MEDIA. 967 00:34:48,953 --> 00:34:53,057 YOU'VE GOT ONE OF THE CURRENT 968 00:34:53,124 --> 00:34:54,225 HEAVYWEIGHT BOXING CHAMPIONS WHO 969 00:34:54,292 --> 00:34:56,828 HAS GIVEN UP HIS FIGHT TO GO 970 00:34:56,894 --> 00:34:57,528 BACK. 971 00:34:57,595 --> 00:34:58,362 YOU HAVE PEOPLE SAYING I WANT TO 972 00:34:58,429 --> 00:35:00,331 GO IN THERE AND DO SOMETHING TO 973 00:35:00,398 --> 00:35:01,833 HELP THE UKRAINIANS, WHICH IS 974 00:35:01,899 --> 00:35:03,468 NOT SOMETHING I DON'T THINK 975 00:35:03,534 --> 00:35:04,101 RUSSIANS WOULD HAVE ANTICIPATE. 976 00:35:04,168 --> 00:35:05,403 >> Stephen: YOU HAVE STUDIED 977 00:35:05,470 --> 00:35:07,738 PUTIN FOR DECADES AND YOU MET 978 00:35:07,805 --> 00:35:08,372 HIM MANY TIMES. 979 00:35:08,439 --> 00:35:12,376 YOU SAY IN THE BOOK-- AGAIN 980 00:35:12,443 --> 00:35:13,744 "THERE IS NOTHING FOR YOU 981 00:35:13,811 --> 00:35:15,513 HERE--" YOU WRITE ABOUT SITTING 982 00:35:15,580 --> 00:35:17,748 NEXT TO HIM A DINNER. 983 00:35:17,815 --> 00:35:19,784 "A," WHY WOULD PUTIN LET SOMEONE 984 00:35:19,851 --> 00:35:22,053 WHO STUDIES PUTIN SIT NEXT TO 985 00:35:22,119 --> 00:35:23,588 HIM AT A DINNER? 986 00:35:23,654 --> 00:35:24,121 ( LAUGHTER ) 987 00:35:24,188 --> 00:35:27,291 CONVERSATION LIKE? 988 00:35:27,358 --> 00:35:29,760 IS IT LIGHT AND SPARKLY? 989 00:35:29,827 --> 00:35:30,461 IS HE FLIRTY? 990 00:35:30,528 --> 00:35:31,162 WHAT'S HE LIKE? 991 00:35:31,229 --> 00:35:33,498 >> AS YOU CAN IMAGINE, IT'S 992 00:35:33,564 --> 00:35:34,365 PRETTY SPARSE. 993 00:35:34,432 --> 00:35:36,167 AND THE MOST DISTURBING THING 994 00:35:36,234 --> 00:35:37,668 SITTING NEXT TO HIM AT DINNER-- 995 00:35:37,735 --> 00:35:39,170 HE WAS ON THE SIDE RIGHT HERE-- 996 00:35:39,237 --> 00:35:40,571 HE DIDN'T EAT OR DRINK ANYTHING. 997 00:35:40,638 --> 00:35:42,807 THAT'S WHY I'M NOT TOUCHING THAT 998 00:35:42,874 --> 00:35:44,308 CUP OF WATER. 999 00:35:44,375 --> 00:35:45,142 >> Stephen: NOT EVEN WATER. 1000 00:35:45,209 --> 00:35:47,044 >> HE DOESN'T EVEN TRUST HIS OWN 1001 00:35:47,111 --> 00:35:50,114 WATER AND TEA THAT'S THERE, TEA 1002 00:35:50,181 --> 00:35:52,250 PROBABLY WE CAN THINK ABOUT 1003 00:35:52,316 --> 00:35:54,986 PUTTING THE PILOANIUM IN THE TEA 1004 00:35:55,052 --> 00:35:57,154 FOR THE FORMER SPY IN LONDON. 1005 00:35:57,221 --> 00:35:58,589 >> Stephen: WAS THAT THE 1006 00:35:58,656 --> 00:35:59,857 POLONIUM IN THE SUSHI? 1007 00:35:59,924 --> 00:36:01,959 >> IT COULD BE. 1008 00:36:02,026 --> 00:36:02,727 GIVEN THE RISKS -- 1009 00:36:02,793 --> 00:36:04,328 >> Stephen: DID YOU TALK TO 1010 00:36:04,395 --> 00:36:04,695 HIM? 1011 00:36:04,762 --> 00:36:05,663 >> SORT OF. 1012 00:36:05,730 --> 00:36:07,999 THE THING THEY COULD SEE IS, 1013 00:36:08,065 --> 00:36:09,667 LIKE YOU HAVE ON YOUR DESK HERE, 1014 00:36:09,734 --> 00:36:10,334 YOUR NOTES. 1015 00:36:10,401 --> 00:36:12,236 YOURS ARE IN VERY SMALL FONT. 1016 00:36:12,303 --> 00:36:14,272 HIS WERE IN ENORMOUS FONT SO I 1017 00:36:14,338 --> 00:36:16,073 COULD SEE THEM, AND HE WASN'T 1018 00:36:16,140 --> 00:36:17,275 WEARING GLASSES AND I WAS CLOSE 1019 00:36:17,341 --> 00:36:19,143 ENOUGH TO SEE HE WASN'T WEARING 1020 00:36:19,210 --> 00:36:21,112 CONTACT LENSES. 1021 00:36:21,178 --> 00:36:22,413 MOST OF US-- CERTAINLY ME-- I 1022 00:36:22,480 --> 00:36:23,548 COULD READ HIS NOTES BECAUSE 1023 00:36:23,614 --> 00:36:25,950 THEY WERE THAT BIG IN TERMS OF 1024 00:36:26,017 --> 00:36:26,751 FONT. 1025 00:36:26,817 --> 00:36:29,954 THE ONE THING I NOTICED IS HE'S 1026 00:36:30,021 --> 00:36:30,621 SHORTSIGHTED. 1027 00:36:30,688 --> 00:36:31,756 HE'S NOT THE SUPERMAN WE THINK 1028 00:36:31,822 --> 00:36:32,423 OF. 1029 00:36:32,490 --> 00:36:33,324 >> Stephen: YOU CAN'T READ MY 1030 00:36:33,391 --> 00:36:33,925 CARD? 1031 00:36:33,991 --> 00:36:35,726 >> I CAN'T READ THE CARD. 1032 00:36:35,793 --> 00:36:37,061 >> Stephen: YOU CAN'T READ, 1033 00:36:37,128 --> 00:36:38,696 "GET HER TO DRINK THE TEA." 1034 00:36:38,763 --> 00:36:40,298 NOW, DO YOU THINK THAT THERE'S 1035 00:36:40,364 --> 00:36:43,834 ANY FEAR OF HIS OWN OLIGARCHS, 1036 00:36:43,901 --> 00:36:44,969 YOU KNOW, LIKE BECAUSE THERE'S 1037 00:36:45,036 --> 00:36:46,137 NO HONOR AMONG THIEVES. 1038 00:36:46,203 --> 00:36:47,738 AND IF HE SHOWS WEAKNESS, THEY 1039 00:36:47,805 --> 00:36:48,472 COULD TURN ON HIM. 1040 00:36:48,539 --> 00:36:50,408 >> I DON'T THINK IT'S REALLY THE 1041 00:36:50,474 --> 00:36:51,042 OLIGARCHS SO MUCH AS THE PEOPLE 1042 00:36:51,108 --> 00:36:52,109 IN HIS INNER CIRCLE. 1043 00:36:52,176 --> 00:36:54,278 SO THE PEOPLE WHO HAVE COME UP 1044 00:36:54,345 --> 00:36:56,247 WITH THIS PLAN OF INVADING 1045 00:36:56,314 --> 00:36:57,415 UKRAINE, LET'S SAY FIRST OF ALL, 1046 00:36:57,481 --> 00:37:00,451 IT'S NOT RUSSIAN PEOPLE, AND 1047 00:37:00,518 --> 00:37:01,519 IT'S NOT ALL THE PEOPLE IN 1048 00:37:01,586 --> 00:37:02,153 RUSSIAN BUSINESS. 1049 00:37:02,219 --> 00:37:03,955 IT'S A VERY SMALL CIRCLE OF 1050 00:37:04,021 --> 00:37:06,157 PEOPLE THAT INCLUDES THE HEAD OF 1051 00:37:06,223 --> 00:37:07,158 INTELLIGENCE, ALL OF THESE 1052 00:37:07,224 --> 00:37:07,992 SECURITY SERVICES. 1053 00:37:08,059 --> 00:37:10,194 AND THESE ARE NOT THE KIND OF 1054 00:37:10,261 --> 00:37:13,764 GUYS WHO HAVE YACHTS OFF MONACO, 1055 00:37:13,831 --> 00:37:16,300 BASICALLY PALACES IN PARIS OR 1056 00:37:16,367 --> 00:37:16,968 ANYTHING LIKE THIS. 1057 00:37:17,034 --> 00:37:18,336 THESE ARE PEOPLE WHO ARE VERY 1058 00:37:18,402 --> 00:37:19,470 MUCH ROOTED IN RUSSIA ITSELF. 1059 00:37:19,537 --> 00:37:20,938 AND I DON'T THINK THEY'RE TOO 1060 00:37:21,005 --> 00:37:22,039 WORRIED ABOUT ALL OF THESE 1061 00:37:22,106 --> 00:37:22,673 SANCTIONS AND EVERYTHING THAT'S 1062 00:37:22,740 --> 00:37:24,308 CUT OFF, BECAUSE THEY'RE NOT 1063 00:37:24,375 --> 00:37:25,810 INVESTED IN THE WEST. 1064 00:37:25,876 --> 00:37:29,113 THEY'VE REALLY GOT THAT BUNKER 1065 00:37:29,180 --> 00:37:29,714 SIEGE MENTALITY. 1066 00:37:29,780 --> 00:37:30,848 AND THEY'RE THE PEOPLE HE 1067 00:37:30,915 --> 00:37:32,316 PROBABLY DOES HAVE TO WORRY 1068 00:37:32,383 --> 00:37:32,984 ABOUT. 1069 00:37:33,050 --> 00:37:34,986 BECAUSE IF THIS WAR DOESN'T GO 1070 00:37:35,052 --> 00:37:37,021 WELL, IF IT LOOKS LIKE RUSSIA IS 1071 00:37:37,088 --> 00:37:38,122 LOSING, I DON'T THINK THEY CARE 1072 00:37:38,189 --> 00:37:39,991 ABOUT THE WORLD OF PUBLIC 1073 00:37:40,057 --> 00:37:41,559 OPINION, BUT IF THERE'S NOT ANY 1074 00:37:41,626 --> 00:37:43,160 MOVEMENT ON THE GROUND, IF THAT 1075 00:37:43,227 --> 00:37:45,463 GREAT CONVOY OF TANKS JUST 1076 00:37:45,529 --> 00:37:48,499 BASICALLY RUNS OUT OF GAS AND IS 1077 00:37:48,566 --> 00:37:50,434 JUST LEFT THERE AND THEY HAVE TO 1078 00:37:50,501 --> 00:37:52,103 MOVE FURTHER-- IF THEY HAVE TO 1079 00:37:52,169 --> 00:37:54,238 LAY WASTE TO UKRAINE TO GET A 1080 00:37:54,305 --> 00:37:55,339 SUCCESS, THAT'S ALREADY GOING TO 1081 00:37:55,406 --> 00:37:56,540 BE THE THE KIND OF PROBLEMS. 1082 00:37:56,607 --> 00:37:58,376 YOU MIGHT THEN START TO GET A 1083 00:37:58,442 --> 00:37:59,944 BACKLASH FROM THOSE PEOPLE 1084 00:38:00,011 --> 00:38:01,412 THINKING THIS HAS NOT GONE AS 1085 00:38:01,479 --> 00:38:02,046 THEY INTEND. 1086 00:38:02,113 --> 00:38:03,581 >> Stephen: NOW, YOU'VE SAID 1087 00:38:03,648 --> 00:38:05,049 IN ANOTHER INTERVIEW THAT, YOU 1088 00:38:05,116 --> 00:38:06,450 KNOW, HE DOESN'T BUILD WEAPONS 1089 00:38:06,517 --> 00:38:07,752 NOT TO USE THEM. 1090 00:38:07,818 --> 00:38:09,720 SO IT IS-- IT IS-- IT IS 1091 00:38:09,787 --> 00:38:12,056 CONCEIVABLE HE WOULD USE A 1092 00:38:12,123 --> 00:38:13,157 TACTICAL NUCLEAR WEAPON. 1093 00:38:13,224 --> 00:38:14,825 PUTTING THAT ASIDE, THAT IS THE 1094 00:38:14,892 --> 00:38:16,961 IMPETUS FOR THIS QUESTION IS 1095 00:38:17,028 --> 00:38:18,729 WHAT OFF RAMP IS THERE FOR 1096 00:38:18,796 --> 00:38:20,331 PUTIN, SHY OF ACTUALLY TAKING 1097 00:38:20,398 --> 00:38:22,400 AND HOLDING UKRAINE-- BECAUSE 1098 00:38:22,466 --> 00:38:23,701 THAT SEEMS UNLIKELY GIVEN THE 1099 00:38:23,768 --> 00:38:25,169 SUCCESS OF HIS ARMY SO FAR AND 1100 00:38:25,236 --> 00:38:26,804 THE SIZE OF HIS MILITARY-- THAT 1101 00:38:26,871 --> 00:38:28,005 THEY CAN HOLD THAT SPACE. 1102 00:38:28,072 --> 00:38:32,143 WHAT CAN HE GET, SHY OF UKRAINE 1103 00:38:32,209 --> 00:38:35,980 AND THE WEST SAYING, "OKAY, TAKE 1104 00:38:36,047 --> 00:38:36,881 UKRAINE," THAT WOULD ALLOW HIM 1105 00:38:36,947 --> 00:38:38,282 TO LEAVE AND SAVE FACE. 1106 00:38:38,349 --> 00:38:39,550 >> THAT'S THE REAL PROBLEM WE 1107 00:38:39,617 --> 00:38:40,217 HAVE RIGHT NOW. 1108 00:38:40,284 --> 00:38:43,054 WE HAVE TO THINK LONG AND HARD 1109 00:38:43,120 --> 00:38:44,321 HOW WE STRUCTURE, FIRST OF ALL, 1110 00:38:44,388 --> 00:38:45,022 DISCUSSIONS AND NEGOTIATIONS, 1111 00:38:45,089 --> 00:38:45,890 WHICH WE CAN'T IN THE MIDDLE OF 1112 00:38:45,956 --> 00:38:47,792 A MASSIVE INVASION BECAUSE WE 1113 00:38:47,858 --> 00:38:48,793 WANT TO SEE THE PULLBACK FROM 1114 00:38:48,859 --> 00:38:50,261 UKRAINE, AND THE WITHDRAWAL OF 1115 00:38:50,327 --> 00:38:53,297 ALL OF THE FORCES, NOT JUST THE 1116 00:38:53,364 --> 00:38:54,331 PULLBACK FROM HOSTILITIES. 1117 00:38:54,398 --> 00:38:56,300 THE PROBLEM IS, JUST AS YOU'VE 1118 00:38:56,367 --> 00:38:58,602 LAID IT OUT, PUTIN WANTS US TO 1119 00:38:58,669 --> 00:39:00,304 TAKE AN OFF RAMP. 1120 00:39:00,371 --> 00:39:02,973 HE WANTS FULL CAPITULATION-- HE 1121 00:39:03,040 --> 00:39:03,641 ALREADY SAID THAT. 1122 00:39:03,708 --> 00:39:04,842 HE TOLD THE UKRAINIAN MILITARY 1123 00:39:04,909 --> 00:39:09,313 TO LAY DOWN THEIR ARMS AND EVEN 1124 00:39:09,380 --> 00:39:10,481 OVERTHROW PRESIDENT ZELENSKY AND 1125 00:39:10,548 --> 00:39:11,649 THEIR GOVERNMENT. 1126 00:39:11,716 --> 00:39:13,718 THAT'S NOT HAPPENING. 1127 00:39:13,784 --> 00:39:14,819 HE WANTS TO TAKE AS MUCH 1128 00:39:14,885 --> 00:39:16,787 TERRITORY AS HE POSSIBLY CAN AND 1129 00:39:16,854 --> 00:39:17,488 BASICALLY HAVE A NEGOTIATION 1130 00:39:17,555 --> 00:39:19,023 THAT LEAVES HIM IN CHARGE OF AS 1131 00:39:19,090 --> 00:39:21,192 MUCH OF UKRAINE AS HE CAN 1132 00:39:21,258 --> 00:39:21,726 POSSIBLY HAVE. 1133 00:39:21,792 --> 00:39:22,493 THAT IS UNACCEPTABLE. 1134 00:39:22,560 --> 00:39:23,894 WE ARE GOING TO HAVE TO BE 1135 00:39:23,961 --> 00:39:26,163 THINKING ABOUT HOW WE TRY TO GET 1136 00:39:26,230 --> 00:39:28,299 SOME PRESSURE ON HIM TO FIND A 1137 00:39:28,365 --> 00:39:29,700 WAY OUT OF THIS THAT WE'RE ALL 1138 00:39:29,767 --> 00:39:31,936 GOING TO HAVE TO FIGURE OUT. 1139 00:39:32,002 --> 00:39:34,238 AND I THINK, HONESTLY, ONE OF 1140 00:39:34,305 --> 00:39:35,639 THE FEW WAYS THAT WE MIGHT BE 1141 00:39:35,706 --> 00:39:39,944 ABLE TO GET TO HIM, IS IF FOR 1142 00:39:40,010 --> 00:39:42,747 EXAMPLE, PRESIDENT Z I AND THE 1143 00:39:42,813 --> 00:39:43,714 CHINESE EXPRESSED SOME 1144 00:39:43,781 --> 00:39:45,516 DISPLEASURE, BUT THAT SEEMS A 1145 00:39:45,583 --> 00:39:46,250 PRETTY LONG SHOT AS WELL. 1146 00:39:46,317 --> 00:39:47,551 >> Stephen: FIONA, THANK YOU 1147 00:39:47,618 --> 00:39:49,553 SO MUCH FOR BEING HERE. 1148 00:39:49,620 --> 00:39:50,554 THE BOOK IS "THERE IS NOTHING 1149 00:39:50,621 --> 00:39:51,689 FOR YOU ERE." 1150 00:39:51,756 --> 00:39:52,223 IT'S AVAILABLE NOW. 1151 00:39:52,289 --> 00:39:54,291 FIONA HILL, EVERYBODY. 1152 00:39:54,358 --> 00:39:55,159 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ). 1153 00:39:55,226 --> 00:39:56,560 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK. 1154 00:40:13,544 --> 00:40:15,212 THAT'S IT FOR THE "LATE LATE SHOW." 1155 00:40:15,279 --> 00:40:16,347 TUNE IN TOMORROW WHEN MY GUESTS 1156 00:40:16,413 --> 00:40:18,916 WILL BE KYLE MacLACHLAN AND 1157 00:40:18,983 --> 00:40:19,517 ARIAN MOAYED. 1158 00:40:19,583 --> 00:40:21,519 JAMES CORDEN IS NEXT. 1159 00:40:21,585 --> 00:40:25,523 GOOD NIGHT. 1160 00:40:25,589 --> 00:40:26,924 Captioning sponsored by CBS Media Access Group at WGBH